A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I really appreciate it.
I went back and forth on the current chapter a lot, debating whether to include it or just go straight to the next one, but I'm finally going with this one. I owe a tremendous amount of thanks to both Rosalie and BK2U for their help with this chapter! They both gave me ideas and feedback when I was struggling, and they helped shape it into its current form. Thank you both very, very much!
Chapter 11: Tobias – Success
Lauren and Mary seem to have become fast friends, chatting about the city while we wait. It's clear that the younger woman is curious about the police force, and it's not hard to figure out why. It was a deadly threat to her and her family when NUSA was in charge, and she wants to see if that's still the case.
As I watch them talk, I remember Lauren's comment about hiring Micky if we found him. I wonder if she was serious.
"How are you holding up, Tobias?" Kevin asks quietly, keeping his voice low so only I can hear.
"Fine," I answer automatically. It takes me a second to realize it's true. There's an odd peace to having found Anna's ring. Even if Micky decides not to sell it back to me, at least I'll know that I did everything I could to retrieve it.
"Maybe I'm still in shock that we actually found it," I add with a half-smile. Kevin grins in response.
"Yeah, I really didn't think we would," he comments. "I was just waiting for you to give up on your own, but damn if you didn't pull this thing off." He shakes his head a little, still smiling. He's right. Realistically, there's no way we should have succeeded in this effort, but I guess for once luck was on my side.
"I suppose that depends on whether or not Micky returns," I say, my eyes shifting to the door as if I can make him magically appear. That doesn't happen, of course – at least not at that moment. It's not until after Lauren and Mary go get dinner for all of us, and we eat in the crowded apartment, that our thief returns.
It's impossible to read his expression as he walks through the door. He wears the same carefully neutral look that I spent my childhood perfecting, and I know it's for the same reason. It hides his secrets – and has kept him alive this long.
As he enters the room, my gaze turns to the young woman behind him. For a second, as she's half hidden behind Micky, all I see is her long, dark hair braided down her back. Then, her husband moves to the side, and I see the infant sleeping in her arms.
Something jumps a little inside me as the image from last night's dream flashes through my mind – of Tris holding a baby with deep blue eyes. And in that moment, I wonder what right I have to ask this couple to give up their ring, just for Tris to maybe wear it someday. The selfishness grates against my Abnegation instincts.
The woman scans the room, her gaze passing over David and Kevin before fixing on me. She steps closer.
"Tobias?"
"Yes," I answer levelly, standing and approaching her. She shifts the baby into one arm so she can shake my hand. Her grip is gentle.
"I'm Luella," she says. Holding the infant up a little more, she adds, "And this is Kaylee."
The movement exposes her left hand, and for a second, my eyes stop on the ring she's wearing. The image of it sitting on David's counter in the pawn shop so long ago flashes through me, and I know this is the right ring. But I force my gaze to continue on to the baby. She's cute, and again I feel a twinge of guilt.
"Let's sit down," Luella says, "and talk for a bit. I'd like to know more about the person who wants to buy my wedding ring."
The request surprises me, given that everyone in this country already knows more about me than I'd prefer, but I simply walk with her to the sitting area, taking a chair and silently gesturing for Kevin to leave us alone for now. He nods, drawing David with him to a different part of the room while Luella and Micky sit together on the couch. She settles the baby in-between them.
"Can you tell me why the ring is important to you?" Luella asks, her gaze meeting mine. Her voice is gentle, but I can't help feeling like everything rides on what I say next. And the problem is that these two live in a very different culture than where I grew up. I don't know what argument will convince them to sell.
"It belongs to Tris' grandmother, Anna," I begin, picking my words carefully. "We never would have chosen to sell it, but we had no other way to fund our mission against NUSA."
Luella cocks her head at me and asks, "Is Anna's husband still alive?"
"No." I shake my head, understanding why she wants to know. If he could give Anna another ring, there would be no reason to ask for this one back.
"He died trying to protect their children. And their daughter, in turn, died protecting Tris." I pause, scratching the back of my neck as I realize that's the crux of my argument. "Tris' father died the same way. And Tris doesn't have any photographs or mementos of them. She wasn't even able to bury them – others did that during the war. So, she has nothing left of them but memories...and guilt that they died for her."
Luella's expression is thoughtful as she gazes at her ring. "So, this connects Anna and her husband and children and Tris all together." It's a perceptive statement, and all I can do in response is nod.
She smiles a little. "I'm glad it's associated with so much love." Meeting my eyes again, she asks, "Are you planning to marry Tris?"
I freeze. "It's not…." I shake my head, my throat tight. "I don't know if that will ever happen," I manage to add, feeling the need to be honest. "But I believe the ring should be hers someday, whenever she does get married."
For a long moment, Luella regards me in silence. "But you do still love her, don't you?" she finally asks.
My eyes shift to my hands, and I stare at them while trying to figure out how to answer. My instinct in times like this is to hide the truth – to keep my secrets as I always have. But it's obvious that Luella wants to give the ring to me and Tris together. To the couple who ended NUSA. To celebrate the feelings that I broadcast to this entire country.
"That's not why I'm here," I finally say, my voice quiet. "But…yes." It's a difficult admission.
Luella nods slowly. Apparently, the answer satisfies her, because she turns her attention to her husband. He clears his throat.
"Um, maybe you could show her the rings you showed me?" he asks somewhat awkwardly, glancing between me and his wife.
Nodding wordlessly, I pull them out of my pocket, but I opt not to show them directly to Luella. Instead, I offer them to Micky. The corner of his mouth lifts as he takes them, giving me a brief look of gratitude.
"You can have them all," I tell him. His gaze returns to mine, startled, but before he can say anything, I add, "Sell the ones you don't want. I suspect you can do something better with the money than I can."
Luella's mouth quirks, and she gives a slight shake of her head. "You freed the whole country with the money from one ring," she mutters. "It's kind of hard to beat that."
There's no good response to that, so I stay silent, staring uncomfortably at the floor. After a moment, Luella adds, "But as it turns out, Micky has some experience using money to help others, so I'm sure we'll manage."
The words make me look up again, and I see her gazing at her husband with so much pride and love, I feel like I'm intruding merely by witnessing it. But it's also a familiar expression. I'm sure I wore it many times around Tris.
Micky extends his hand to his wife, showing her the rings that he now has laid out on his palm. She cocks her head, evaluating them carefully.
"I like the matched set," she says after a while. "I worry sometimes about scratching Kaylee with the stone on this one, so a plain band would be nice." She meets her husband's eyes and adds, "And it would mean a lot for you to have a matching ring."
He considers that, running a finger over the set she indicated, before he nods.
"I like that idea, too." But when she reaches for the rings, he pulls his hand back, frowning slightly.
"I think," he says slowly, "that we should have a new ceremony to go with the new rings. To make them ours."
Luella's eyebrows draw together uncertainly. "And when would we do that?"
Micky grins. "Right now." The words send a thread of worry through me, an effect that is amplified when he turns to me. "Would it be asking too much for you to officiate?"
The request catches me completely off guard, and for a long moment, I just stare. I've never even attended a wedding, unless you count the one I observed in my fear landscape. I certainly have no idea how to perform the ceremony.
But I don't know how to refuse, either, not when they're doing this in order to return the ring to me. Not when it's the only way of getting it to Tris. So, all I say is, "I have no idea how. And I don't have any legal power, you know."
Micky laughs. "That part doesn't matter. We're already married." He pauses, clearly aware of my discomfort. "And it's okay if you don't have experience doing this. It would still mean a lot for you to do it, after your broadcast."
For another moment, I hesitate, trying to think of a way out of this. But I understand what they're seeking. They want their renewal vows to reflect the values from my broadcast, and they assume I can do that.
"I'll do my best," I finally answer.
Kevin gives me tips on what to say while everyone else arranges the room for the impromptu ceremony. By the time they finish, Kaylee is awake, and Mary jiggles the baby on her hip while the others get in place for the ceremony.
Micky and Luella stand in front of me, of course, and Kevin stays nearby too, presumably to feed me lines if I forget them. Lauren and David, on the other hand, move to the outskirts of the room, letting Micky's family fill the rest of the space. Vaguely, I wonder if Luella has any living family members. If so, apparently they don't live close enough to be invited.
It's not until Kevin nudges me that I realize we're ready to proceed – and that the entire group is watching me expectantly. I clear my throat hastily.
"We are gathered here today," I begin, keeping my voice formal as Kevin suggested, "to celebrate the marriage of Michael and Luella O'Clery."
They both smile at me, but for some reason the friendly gesture causes a wave of nervousness to go through me, and the other words I just learned seem to vanish from my mind. This is ridiculous – I have no idea what I'm doing.
But I felt the same way during my broadcast, and somehow I got through that. So, I take a deep breath and draw inspiration from the same person I did that time.
"I grew up in a city that was divided into factions, where each person was supposed to be defined by a single trait. But I was never satisfied with that. It was my goal to be more than that – to be all of those traits simultaneously."
I give a half-smile. "I didn't succeed very well. Until the day I met someone who changed my perspective on everything. She helped me to grow, and to be a better person. She made me stronger."
My eyes move to the couple before me. "I think that's what love should do."
They nod in agreement, gazing at each other with an intensity that I remember feeling so many times when I looked at Tris. It fills me with both joy and sorrow at the same time.
"Micky and Luella, do you promise to be kind to each other? To never harm each other, or your children? To support each other through the hard times? And to continuously celebrate the good times?"
When I pause, they murmur, "I do" in unison.
"Do you promise to be honest, and to always accept honesty from the other, even when it's difficult?" The corner of my mouth lifts. "Especially when it's difficult?"
Again, they both say, "I do."
"Do you promise to think of the other first, and of your family, and to always try to give of yourselves selflessly?"
Luella smiles as they say the words simultaneously. "I do."
"Do you promise to face adversity together, bravely, side by side? No matter what comes?"
Micky stands straighter, jutting his chin out a little, at that statement, but again they respond at the same time. "I do."
"And do you promise to be thoughtful and smart, to trust each other and to talk to each other, and to arrive at decisions together?"
They both smile as they say their final, "I do."
I hesitate briefly, trying to figure out the right words for the next part, since they're already married. Finally, I come up with, "Then face each other as husband and wife and exchange your rings."
They turn to look at each other, and I watch as Luella slowly removes Anna's ring and places it on the small pillow that Micky's youngest brother is holding out to them. She then holds her hand out for Micky to slide the new ring onto her finger, both of them smiling through the tears in their eyes.
Luella next takes the matching ring from the pillow and places that carefully onto Micky's finger. Their hands lace together afterwards, and without waiting for me to say anything, they kiss – a deep, loving kiss that makes me look away, feeling again like I'm invading their privacy.
Apparently, no one else in the room feels that way, because they all burst into cheers, moving forward to embrace the couple. It's impossible not to smile as I watch them, and in that moment, I realize that I don't feel guilty anymore about asking them to return Anna's ring. This ceremony made it okay.
I'm still watching the family when Luella turns back to me. Taking Anna's ring from the pillow the boy is holding, she steps over to me calmly and holds it out with a gentle smile.
"Thank you for loaning this to us," she says. "And for everything else." She squeezes my arm lightly, and for once, I don't object to the touch, even when she stands on tip-toe to kiss my cheek. "The ceremony was perfect," she whispers as she hands me the ring.
My fingers close on the metal band, and for a few seconds, all I can do is stare at it, feeling the full impact of having succeeded. This ring will go back to Anna. And someday, presumably, this ring will be on Tris' finger. I can't help but feel close to her as I hold it.
"Thank you," I tell Luella.
By the time we leave Mary's apartment, it's too late to head back to Chicago, so David invites us to stay with him again. Kevin accepts without consulting me, but I don't object. I'm too tired to drive, anyway.
Lauren walks with us, asking a variety of questions about what's happening in Chicago these days. Kevin and I take turns answering her.
"Do you plan to return at some point?" I eventually ask her.
"I haven't decided yet," she says thoughtfully. "Sometimes I miss it, but I like a lot of things about this place." She gestures around at the busy streets. "There's such a feeling of hope here, with everyone rebuilding. Back home, with the factions, it was more about duty, and about following the same path as everyone else. But this city is about new ideas, and change. And I guess I kind of like that."
The corner of my mouth twitches. I can't say I ever thought of Lauren as anything other than Dauntless, but I guess it shows there's more depth in all of us than I tend to think.
"Are you going to hire Micky?" I ask.
"Yeah, I think so. Mary, too. That girl's got some serious guts. And they're both very resistant to the serum, which is always helpful." She nods a bit, and I remember Peter's argument back in the hospital in Philadelphia ages ago. The ousted leaders probably have the equipment and serum to influence anyone who comes after them, so it makes sense to send resistant people to capture them.
"Good idea," I comment, coming to a stop near the entrance to David's apartment building.
"Thanks for your help today, Lauren."
"No problem," she says, smiling. "Really. I was glad to do it."
She reaches to shake David's hand, and then Kevin's, exchanging basic farewells with them, before she turns back to me.
"It was good to see you again, Four. Say hi to Tori and Amar and…well, all the others for me, okay?"
"I will."
She grasps my hand firmly Dauntless-style, shaking her head a little at how bad I still am at that skill, before disappearing down the street. As she goes, I remember the last time we said goodbye, and how at the time I never expected to see her alive again. But I push the thought away. It reminds me of all the deaths and injuries on our mission, and of the last time I saw Tris – lying in a hospital bed with bandages hiding most of her body. I don't want to dwell on that.
Instead, I wrap my hand around the ring in my pocket, letting the feel of it ease the image from my mind. For the first time in months, I've done something good for Tris. Maybe I'll let myself dream about that tonight.
The drive back seems shorter than the one to Pittsburgh, with our moods lightened by success. As before, Kevin and I take turns driving, and we talk, but this time we stop occasionally to enjoy a view or to go through an abandoned city, curious to see the world between Chicago and the former NUSA.
It's not until the last stretch of the trip that Kevin grows serious again.
"How do you plan to return the ring?" he asks. It's an easy question to answer.
"Anna has been coming to Chicago regularly to meet with the city leaders. My mother included. I'll give it to her the next time she comes."
"Just her? Not Tris?"
"Just Anna," I confirm, sighing a little. I know the question means he doesn't trust my judgment regarding my former girlfriend. "Tris hasn't returned at all."
Kevin is silent for a moment before speaking again, his voice conflicted. "I'm not asking for the reasons you think, Tobias." That makes me glance at him for a second before turning back to the road.
"I…actually think you could handle being around Tris at this point."
That's not an easy statement to react to, so I stay quiet. But I'm pretty sure my breathing is a lot louder than normal.
"I'm not saying you'll necessarily get back together with her or anything. And I'm still not going to minimize what you did to her. But…you're a better person than you give yourself credit for." He pauses, looking out the window.
"So, if she ever returns to Chicago, and you want to see her…. Well, as your sponsor, I wouldn't have a problem with that."
I swallow hard, still not answering. Despite his words, I know I need to return the ring to Anna. It's what I've told myself all along, and I need to keep that promise. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate what he's saying.
After a few more moments of silence, Kevin adds, "And just so you know, I wouldn't have a problem with it as your friend, either."
A small smile curves my mouth. I may or may not ever have the woman I love in my life again, but it certainly helps to have friends.
A/N: Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I really, really love reviews!
