Disclaimer: Ai', what do you people not understand about, "I do not own
Tolkien's works"? It seems pretty simple to me. So, be nice! Oh and again,
I based this chapter's plot on The Adventures of Mini-Goddess.
Arwen1481: Hi! I'm glad you like my story! I hope this chapter is better after that shame of a chapter ten! *bows head in shame for the last chapter*
Nightbird*Songbird: Lol, I'm glad I have reviewers as good as you guys. And who *doesn't* love mutli-person reviews.
Mysti: Yeop, I decided that I had to point out that no matter how evil Cu and Pilin' are at times, they're still cute little kids. After all, how bad can they be? They *are* related to Legolas after all. *looks back at chapter 3* Ok, never mind, they're all evil (but hot/cute) elves.
HealerAriel: You like Miroku too? I thought I was the only one! All my friends make fun of me because he's lecherous. But that's scary, how did you know I was going to have Legolas say Miroku's pickup-line? Who knows when though? ~_~ (shifty eyes)
Chapter 11: Aragorn Has Proposal Problems
Legolas had just fallen asleep, when he felt someone walk up to him and kick him in the side. It was Aragorn. "Dammit Aragorn! What was that about?" Legolas moaned.
"I need your help Legolas. I'm going to do it." Aragorn whispered.
"Huh? Do what? Speak plainly!" Legolas shouted.
"I'm going to ask Arwen to. marry me." Aragorn blushed with his final words.
Legolas smiled, "Congratulations. But, what's the problem?"
"I want to ask her but, I don't know how to. You have to help me Legolas!" Aragorn pleaded.
Legolas frowned, "Let me get this strait, you come in here, kick me, tell me of a problem that if I help, I get nothing in return, and you still expect me to help?" Aragorn nodded. Legolas sighed, "Fine, let's go ask Lindor for some help. Forcing people to be joined for life against their will and/or their better judgment is more of her thing than mine."
"No way Legolas! I am not helping you and your friend mess up Arwen's life!" Lindor shouted.
"Oh shut up you sod! Arwen loves Aragorn too! He just wants a little bit of insurance! Can't you give him that?" Legolas barked. "Come on! You wouldn't want Elohir to find out about a few embarrassing facts about you, would you?" he finished with a sly smile.
Lindor blanched, "Y-y-you wouldn't!"
Legolas grinned even more, "Ah, I have your attention now eh? I don't know. Elohir probably should know about you hitting on his father."
"OK!! I'LL HELP!!! JUST DON'T TELL HIM THAT!!!!" Lindor screeched. She went into her drawer and pulled out a rose. She walked over to Aragorn and handed it to him. "Alright, just give this to her after saying the magical incantation and she is guaranteed to say 'yes' and she'll be a caring, compassionate, hard working and virtuous wife! The incantation is, 'Red rose, passion rose, rose of true love!' Make sure you get it right human."
Aragorn nodded and began reciting the words under his breath. Legolas turned to Lindor and smiled, "Thanks sister."
"Oh shut up." Lindor grumbled. "We better watch just to make sure that he doesn't screw this up."
Legolas nodded in agreement. Aragorn wasn't normally stupid, but given the circumstances. 'Then again', he thought, 'Scratch that, he is a moron. He's going to screw this up some how. I can feel it."
Five hours later, Aragorn was in one of the gardens trying to make sure he got the lines right. "Rose of love, rose of lust- No! Caring? AHHH!!!! MARRY ME ARWEN!!!" he shouted in dismay.
Legolas and Lindor were watching in a nearby tree. Legolas shook his head, "He's a nice guy, but sometimes I wonder how safe Gondor is in his hands." When he looked down he sighed, "Oh no, he forgot the stupid rose."
Lindor's head snapped in that direction, "What? Without the rose, the spell won't work! I'll go give it to him." She jumped down, out of the tree.
Legolas looked up, "Hurry Lindor, here comes Arwen." Lindor ran over while Aragorn began whispering the words.
"Arwen! I have something I need to ask you... Hold on a second. Red rose, passion rose, rose of true love... Arwen, my beloved," He began with Lindor mere yards away, "Will you consent," Lindor got the rose in his hand, "To marry me?" Lindor became quite limp, the rose still in hand. She looked up with a face Legolas had never seen on her before.
"Aragorn. Yes my beloved, of course I'll marry you!" It was just what Aragorn wanted to hear, however, he did not want to hear it come out of Lindor's mouth.
Aragorn paled, " L-L-Lindor? What are you doing here?" He stuttered as she embraced him with a soft and caring look on her face.
Arwen was on the brink of tears, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" she cried as she ran off.
"NOOO!!! ARWEN!!! COME BACK!!!!!!" Aragorn shouted. He probably would have chased after if Lindor had not clamped onto his leg.
Legolas almost fell out of the tree. "What!?!? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?"
A week later, Legolas and Gimli went to visit the two in a little house just outside the palace. "I still can't believe it. My sister and my best friend." Legolas moaned.
"Come now Legolas, you and Aragorn were always as close as brothers. Now you really are brothers!" Gimli said reassuringly. When he saw no improvement he added. "Now Arwen is free." Legolas smiled instantly as they came upon the household where Aragorn was sitting quite comfortably in the living room.
"Hey! Legolas! Gimli! Govannen! *Welcome!* Lindor, honey? Could you bring something for our guests?"
"Of course darling!" came Lindor's voice from the kitchen.
"Honey!? Darling?!?!" Legolas whispered to Gimli irritably. Gimli stepped on the elf's foot to keep Legolas from killing Aragorn.
Lindor came in with an apron on and a usually content face. The only other time Legolas had seen her so happy, she was drunk. She gave them each a cup of tea and then returned to the kitchen. Gimli and Legolas frowned, "No ale? No wine?" they thought at the same time but they took their cups gratefully only to find that the tea was extremely bitter.
Aragorn merely smiled, "Yes, I know it's a tad bitter, but she tries. I have to say Legolas, your sister isn't half bad, ever since we started living together a week ago, she's been nothing but helpful!" Legolas thought he was going to vomit.
Gimli leaned over to Legolas, "This isn't quite how I pictured it given your sister's personality."
*Gimli's Thoughts*
Lindor in a big room with an extravagant dress on. "Hey! Aragorn! Some tea!" Aragorn ran over dressed like a waiter giving her tea. "And the sugar!" she ordered.
Lindor in a spa like room. "Give me a massage."
In a modest living room. "I'm hungry. Where's dinner?" Aragorn in an apron, "In a minute dear!" Lindor (again) "And my bath."
*End Gimli's thought*
Legolas cocked his head, "That wasn't very accurate. The rooms didn't even match."
Gimli gave Legolas a dirty look, "That's how thoughts work. They don't have to make sense."
Legolas smiled until he realized something Aragorn had said earlier. "Wait... You said a week? It's been a week already?" Legolas inquired. Aragorn nodded and Legolas paled. "Gimli and I should go now. Good day Aragorn." Legolas got up and then muttered, "And good luck, you're going to need it." Legolas grabbed Gimli and literally dragged the dwarf out of there.
When they were outside, Gimli finally was freed from Legolas grip. "What was that about elf?!?!"
Legolas look afraid, "That rose will die any second now, and then the spell will be broken and Lindor shall return to her normal self. In short, it isn't going to be a very pretty picture."
"What isn't going to be a pretty picture?" said Arwen as she came upon the two. She had long since been told that the incident with rose was an accident and the rose was meant for her. However, that just caused Arwen to plot revenge against Legolas too in addition to Aragorn and Lindor.
"That rose is about to wear off... Lindor isn't going to be very happy when she founds out that she played housewife the past week." Legolas explained.
One of the guards came over. (For those of you who have read my story, you know him quite well, Calenrunya!) "Oh no. Don't tell me you and Lindor tried out that lasted rose trick did you? That's even worse than your normal pick-up line." Cal laughed.
Gimli smiled, "Oh really? What is it?"
Before Legolas could stop him, Cal said, "He always asks every elf maid he meets if she would bear his children!"
Legolas blushed, Gimli's mouth dropped and Arwen pouted, "All but one."
Legolas heard this and took Arwen by the hand, "Lady Arwen, I was just wondering if you would consent to bear-" he was interrupted by Arwen breaking a stick on his head.
"Spare me." Arwen said curtly.
Legolas was about to respond when they heard something far off.
Aragorn smiled as his friends left and went back inside. He didn't notice the now brown rose.
Lindor was in the kitchen, making soup. She stopped suddenly as the spell wore off. She blinked a few times and looked around confused. "Huh? Where am I?" She looked at the soup ladle in her hand, "Huh? What am I doing with this? I can't cook."
"Lindor, dear?" Aragorn called from the other room. Lindor growled when she heard him say that. She stomped off into the living room.
Aragorn smiled blissfully, "Hey Lindor there you are! Is my bath ready yet? I wanted you to wash my back honey!"
Lindor suddenly turned venomous, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HONEY?!?! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!?!"
From then on until about five in the morning, Aragorn's beating could be heard all throughout Mirkwood. One of the guards sighed, "Those celebrity marriages never last."
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*sob* Ok, I know that wasn't very funny, *bows head in shame* but I have big plans for the next chapter! But what it is, you won't find out until you review!!! Luckily for you guys, the teachers here are on strike so I can update a lot. Don't even think about calling me lucky though; think about next summer when I'm in class into July!!! *shudders in fear* Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Arwen1481: Hi! I'm glad you like my story! I hope this chapter is better after that shame of a chapter ten! *bows head in shame for the last chapter*
Nightbird*Songbird: Lol, I'm glad I have reviewers as good as you guys. And who *doesn't* love mutli-person reviews.
Mysti: Yeop, I decided that I had to point out that no matter how evil Cu and Pilin' are at times, they're still cute little kids. After all, how bad can they be? They *are* related to Legolas after all. *looks back at chapter 3* Ok, never mind, they're all evil (but hot/cute) elves.
HealerAriel: You like Miroku too? I thought I was the only one! All my friends make fun of me because he's lecherous. But that's scary, how did you know I was going to have Legolas say Miroku's pickup-line? Who knows when though? ~_~ (shifty eyes)
Chapter 11: Aragorn Has Proposal Problems
Legolas had just fallen asleep, when he felt someone walk up to him and kick him in the side. It was Aragorn. "Dammit Aragorn! What was that about?" Legolas moaned.
"I need your help Legolas. I'm going to do it." Aragorn whispered.
"Huh? Do what? Speak plainly!" Legolas shouted.
"I'm going to ask Arwen to. marry me." Aragorn blushed with his final words.
Legolas smiled, "Congratulations. But, what's the problem?"
"I want to ask her but, I don't know how to. You have to help me Legolas!" Aragorn pleaded.
Legolas frowned, "Let me get this strait, you come in here, kick me, tell me of a problem that if I help, I get nothing in return, and you still expect me to help?" Aragorn nodded. Legolas sighed, "Fine, let's go ask Lindor for some help. Forcing people to be joined for life against their will and/or their better judgment is more of her thing than mine."
"No way Legolas! I am not helping you and your friend mess up Arwen's life!" Lindor shouted.
"Oh shut up you sod! Arwen loves Aragorn too! He just wants a little bit of insurance! Can't you give him that?" Legolas barked. "Come on! You wouldn't want Elohir to find out about a few embarrassing facts about you, would you?" he finished with a sly smile.
Lindor blanched, "Y-y-you wouldn't!"
Legolas grinned even more, "Ah, I have your attention now eh? I don't know. Elohir probably should know about you hitting on his father."
"OK!! I'LL HELP!!! JUST DON'T TELL HIM THAT!!!!" Lindor screeched. She went into her drawer and pulled out a rose. She walked over to Aragorn and handed it to him. "Alright, just give this to her after saying the magical incantation and she is guaranteed to say 'yes' and she'll be a caring, compassionate, hard working and virtuous wife! The incantation is, 'Red rose, passion rose, rose of true love!' Make sure you get it right human."
Aragorn nodded and began reciting the words under his breath. Legolas turned to Lindor and smiled, "Thanks sister."
"Oh shut up." Lindor grumbled. "We better watch just to make sure that he doesn't screw this up."
Legolas nodded in agreement. Aragorn wasn't normally stupid, but given the circumstances. 'Then again', he thought, 'Scratch that, he is a moron. He's going to screw this up some how. I can feel it."
Five hours later, Aragorn was in one of the gardens trying to make sure he got the lines right. "Rose of love, rose of lust- No! Caring? AHHH!!!! MARRY ME ARWEN!!!" he shouted in dismay.
Legolas and Lindor were watching in a nearby tree. Legolas shook his head, "He's a nice guy, but sometimes I wonder how safe Gondor is in his hands." When he looked down he sighed, "Oh no, he forgot the stupid rose."
Lindor's head snapped in that direction, "What? Without the rose, the spell won't work! I'll go give it to him." She jumped down, out of the tree.
Legolas looked up, "Hurry Lindor, here comes Arwen." Lindor ran over while Aragorn began whispering the words.
"Arwen! I have something I need to ask you... Hold on a second. Red rose, passion rose, rose of true love... Arwen, my beloved," He began with Lindor mere yards away, "Will you consent," Lindor got the rose in his hand, "To marry me?" Lindor became quite limp, the rose still in hand. She looked up with a face Legolas had never seen on her before.
"Aragorn. Yes my beloved, of course I'll marry you!" It was just what Aragorn wanted to hear, however, he did not want to hear it come out of Lindor's mouth.
Aragorn paled, " L-L-Lindor? What are you doing here?" He stuttered as she embraced him with a soft and caring look on her face.
Arwen was on the brink of tears, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" she cried as she ran off.
"NOOO!!! ARWEN!!! COME BACK!!!!!!" Aragorn shouted. He probably would have chased after if Lindor had not clamped onto his leg.
Legolas almost fell out of the tree. "What!?!? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?"
A week later, Legolas and Gimli went to visit the two in a little house just outside the palace. "I still can't believe it. My sister and my best friend." Legolas moaned.
"Come now Legolas, you and Aragorn were always as close as brothers. Now you really are brothers!" Gimli said reassuringly. When he saw no improvement he added. "Now Arwen is free." Legolas smiled instantly as they came upon the household where Aragorn was sitting quite comfortably in the living room.
"Hey! Legolas! Gimli! Govannen! *Welcome!* Lindor, honey? Could you bring something for our guests?"
"Of course darling!" came Lindor's voice from the kitchen.
"Honey!? Darling?!?!" Legolas whispered to Gimli irritably. Gimli stepped on the elf's foot to keep Legolas from killing Aragorn.
Lindor came in with an apron on and a usually content face. The only other time Legolas had seen her so happy, she was drunk. She gave them each a cup of tea and then returned to the kitchen. Gimli and Legolas frowned, "No ale? No wine?" they thought at the same time but they took their cups gratefully only to find that the tea was extremely bitter.
Aragorn merely smiled, "Yes, I know it's a tad bitter, but she tries. I have to say Legolas, your sister isn't half bad, ever since we started living together a week ago, she's been nothing but helpful!" Legolas thought he was going to vomit.
Gimli leaned over to Legolas, "This isn't quite how I pictured it given your sister's personality."
*Gimli's Thoughts*
Lindor in a big room with an extravagant dress on. "Hey! Aragorn! Some tea!" Aragorn ran over dressed like a waiter giving her tea. "And the sugar!" she ordered.
Lindor in a spa like room. "Give me a massage."
In a modest living room. "I'm hungry. Where's dinner?" Aragorn in an apron, "In a minute dear!" Lindor (again) "And my bath."
*End Gimli's thought*
Legolas cocked his head, "That wasn't very accurate. The rooms didn't even match."
Gimli gave Legolas a dirty look, "That's how thoughts work. They don't have to make sense."
Legolas smiled until he realized something Aragorn had said earlier. "Wait... You said a week? It's been a week already?" Legolas inquired. Aragorn nodded and Legolas paled. "Gimli and I should go now. Good day Aragorn." Legolas got up and then muttered, "And good luck, you're going to need it." Legolas grabbed Gimli and literally dragged the dwarf out of there.
When they were outside, Gimli finally was freed from Legolas grip. "What was that about elf?!?!"
Legolas look afraid, "That rose will die any second now, and then the spell will be broken and Lindor shall return to her normal self. In short, it isn't going to be a very pretty picture."
"What isn't going to be a pretty picture?" said Arwen as she came upon the two. She had long since been told that the incident with rose was an accident and the rose was meant for her. However, that just caused Arwen to plot revenge against Legolas too in addition to Aragorn and Lindor.
"That rose is about to wear off... Lindor isn't going to be very happy when she founds out that she played housewife the past week." Legolas explained.
One of the guards came over. (For those of you who have read my story, you know him quite well, Calenrunya!) "Oh no. Don't tell me you and Lindor tried out that lasted rose trick did you? That's even worse than your normal pick-up line." Cal laughed.
Gimli smiled, "Oh really? What is it?"
Before Legolas could stop him, Cal said, "He always asks every elf maid he meets if she would bear his children!"
Legolas blushed, Gimli's mouth dropped and Arwen pouted, "All but one."
Legolas heard this and took Arwen by the hand, "Lady Arwen, I was just wondering if you would consent to bear-" he was interrupted by Arwen breaking a stick on his head.
"Spare me." Arwen said curtly.
Legolas was about to respond when they heard something far off.
Aragorn smiled as his friends left and went back inside. He didn't notice the now brown rose.
Lindor was in the kitchen, making soup. She stopped suddenly as the spell wore off. She blinked a few times and looked around confused. "Huh? Where am I?" She looked at the soup ladle in her hand, "Huh? What am I doing with this? I can't cook."
"Lindor, dear?" Aragorn called from the other room. Lindor growled when she heard him say that. She stomped off into the living room.
Aragorn smiled blissfully, "Hey Lindor there you are! Is my bath ready yet? I wanted you to wash my back honey!"
Lindor suddenly turned venomous, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HONEY?!?! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!?!"
From then on until about five in the morning, Aragorn's beating could be heard all throughout Mirkwood. One of the guards sighed, "Those celebrity marriages never last."
************************************************************************
*sob* Ok, I know that wasn't very funny, *bows head in shame* but I have big plans for the next chapter! But what it is, you won't find out until you review!!! Luckily for you guys, the teachers here are on strike so I can update a lot. Don't even think about calling me lucky though; think about next summer when I'm in class into July!!! *shudders in fear* Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!
