A/N: Wrote this chapter in a rush because I knew you'd all hate me if I left you with that cliffhanger for too long! Ha. A lot of information packed in a few paragraphs, bear with me, I don't blame you if you have to reread parts of this..
I would have liked to extend at least part of the mystery in the story so far further, but I couldn't really find a plausible way to do so, in explaining part of it the rest of it just kind of came along. :[ But in good news: FINALLY, ANSWERS! Haha. :P

Anyway, enjoy. :D


Ch. 11 - Answers

A rush of excitement and anxiety rushed through my body as I heard Malfoy agree to explain. I didn't know how much clarifying why he didn't want me dead would tell me, but I had an odd feeling it was going to explain quite a bit. I sat patiently as I allowed him to run through his thoughts again; I assumed he was trying to think of a way to phrase what he was about to tell me.

"Hermione," he said. I merely looked at him, considering eye contact a good response to him just saying my name. "I need you to agree to something before I explain."

"Fine," I said simply.

"I need you to consider what I'm telling you. I don't want you to hate me more than you do, I don't want you to avoid me, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, absolutely none of that. Most importantly, I just need you to think about it, think it all through." He kept eye contact with me through saying all of this. "Okay?"

"Er.. Sure," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"No, Granger. This is not just 'sure'. I'm serious about this. It's very important to me, and I really do regret taking you here..."

"Okay, Malfoy. Okay. I'll think about it all, I will," I finished, wanting him to start saying what he was going to say as quick as possible. To be completely honest, I was becoming slightly annoyed. I had been left so thirsty for knowledge that any new piece of information was extremely desirable.

"Do you promise?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Did I hear right, did I promise? This seemed childish! Why was he talking like this? I sighed.

"Yes, Malfoy, I promise," I told him with what I hoped was a reassuring tone.

"Okay, good," he said. "Okay.. Uhm.. I really don't know where to start." He paused, and I sighed again, becoming impatient. "Sorry Granger, this is just a little hard for me. You'll understand soon enough. Hmm.. Okay. You're in Gryffindor, I'm in Slytherin. We're suppose to hate each other--"

"And we do," I interrupted. If he was going to tell me this pointless rubbish I already knew... "Do you actually have anything new to tell me?" I asked, again, becoming annoyed and impatient.

He hesitated, and I half-expected him to walk out of the room, but he just continued talking. "If you would allow me to actually talk, maybe you would learn something new." Malfoy cleared his throat, and continued yet again. "See, but that's where the problem arises for me, with us supposed to be hating each other. I don't hate you, Granger, I don't hate you at all. You're a filthy Mudblood, and I, a pureblood. Lion and snake, suppose to always be fighting. But I don't hate you Granger, I don't even dislike you."

He paused, looking at my expressionless face. What was I suppose to say, what expression was I suppose to wearing? Was Malfoy saying that he.. That he actually..

"Anyway," he said, interrupting my thought which I was grateful as I had no intention of finishing it, "I've treated you like shit every second I could because of that. We're supposed to hate each other, as I said before, pureblood and Mudblood. Gryffindor and Slytherin. We were designed to live differently, to be different, to loathe each other. I did my best to ensure this by treating you horribly, and if my father, more blood-obsessed than many, found out that we were not enemies.. He wouldn't be very happy, would he, his own son, not loathing a Mudblood?"

He paused yet again, looking at my reaction to his words. The memory of the rape came back again to haunt me, thinking of Lucius, of him not being 'very happy'...

Malfoy looked at the ground as he spoke again. "There is no point in avoiding the next thing I must tell you before anything else... You see, Granger, I like you, quite a bit. I have been insanely infatuated with you ever since fourth year, but I could confide in no one, seeing as I'm suppose to hate you, especially to please Father. What would the Slytherin House think of me after finding out I fancied a Gryffindor?" He shook his head, then continued, "I've had to go through so much, being so attracted to you. I planned on telling you so many different times, but most of the times I simply chickened out, walking the other direction. The other times I came up with some smartass comment, chickening out at the last second.. So here you are, in front of me. Not even Crabbe and Goyle knew what I was doing, bringing you here, so naturally I still had to act like an ass towards you in front of them: I couldn't take a chance, even stupid as they are..

"Once my father found out you were here, he demanded an answer as to why. Even though I'm skilled at Occlumency, I was so emotional at the time I couldn't clear my mind as thoroughly as needed and of course, my father found out why you were here. He then proceeded to rape you acting as me, telling me what I wanted was no longer achievable, which I imagine after all this talking you understand what he meant."

When I didn't answer again, he kept on with his explanation. "You were brought here just for me to simply tell you how I felt about you. This is the only room of this house that my parents would be sure not to enter because of its filth and that had a lock on the outside of it [I couldn't have you just leave without an answer], I wanted to make sure you could stay here for at least a day, thinking things over. That's why you've had to endure the unpleasantness of this room. But anyway.

While my hatred for you was indeed fake, Father wanted to make absolutely sure that you totally hated me so we would never be together. He thought by raping you, you thinking it was me, you would never believe the truth if I told you because of two reasons: You still thought I hated you so raping you would be justified, and because of the pain you were going through he assumed would be easiest to blame me for because you saw me physically raping you, and a memory of me would be the one to haunt you, not of my father. That's what I meant before when I told you my father said I could no longer do what I planned on doing, which wasn't exactly a plan, really, I never expected you to return the feelings, but you get the idea...

"Bellatrix and my father offered to kill you because it would rid my temptation of wanting to be with you if you somehow did return the feelings, which I obviously denied profusely. My mother wouldn't let them kill you anyway, like I said before, she couldn't bear to see me suffering. He was furious, however. I'd never seen him that angry in my entire life, and he saw it best to let it out on you, he thought all Mudbloods deserved to be tortured anyway.. Well, that about sums it up, I suppose.." he finished. "Do you.. Do you have anything to say?" he asked cautiously.

I was looking at the floor, completely bewildered by what he just explained. This was absolutely insane, but his explanation definitely fit, but how could I believe Malfoy had feelings for me after truly acting like he loathed everything about me for over 6 years..? Even if there wasn't a lump in my throat preventing me from saying anything, I couldn't. What could I say to Malfoy after that?

"I didn't expect a reply immediately.. It's fine, really. Granger, just, as you promised, think about what I told you. Okay? Don't crawl away from the idea immediately, please, think about everything.. I'll leave you, now, as I'm sure you want me to," he said quietly.

I didn't know what to think. What was I suppose to?

He got up to leave, and I didn't try to stop him. I heard the door close shut, and I began to cry, not knowing what to do.