She jerked up and looked frantically over my shoulder, tip toeing, then her eyes widened and her mouth hung. And it all made sense to me why she was acting so perplexed and hesitant.

Her scent, her bedroom's scent… the unexpected greeting… all pointed to that one exclamation that escaped her lips… one that I did not ever expect to hear… it all dawned upon me and all I could do was stand frozen with my expression a mirror image of Bella's, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hung….

Bella pushed past me and ran towards her window and cried,

"Jasper!"

-Edward.


Chapter 11: Stop & Stare

JPOV:

I was on my way back to Bella's after my hunting trip. I was very excited as usual to see her again. But I had to do a little detour home to change out my 'dirty' clothes.

Once I was walking near the entrance of my house I froze at what I saw parked haphazardly on the side of the path. Imagine your worst recurring nightmare that kept you up for countless nights come true and played in repeat before you.

Parked there was a shiny silver Volvo.

Damn!

Without seconds to spare I bolted as fast as I could towards Bella and praying that I wasn't too late.

His distinct scent filled my nose as it was getting dangerously stronger with each step I take towards Bella's.

When I arrived, I only managed to half-climb the window that my hand and knee were glued to the panes, my mouth hung, my eyes bulged and most of all my heart sank and felt like it was ripped off my chest, trampled by spike-laden shoes of a whole soccer team then dropped in a blender… shredded and minced at what I saw.

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust

"Please look at me. Don't cry, I'm here now and I'm truly sorry, but I'm here… I won't leave ever again…" I heard Edward say to her. He… he's back… Edward's back… my warm Bella laden existence instantly froze over. Was life sick of the idea of Bella and me and decided to… set things…right?



I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Thoughts ran throughout my head and I felt every emotion coming off from them. I felt Edward feel so relieved and love gushed forth from him. And Bella was confused, relieved, guilty and scared. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to get out of here. Anywhere but here! This cannot be happening.


Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Every touch that I saw Edward place on Bella, my eyes clouded over but feeling the sincerity from Edward I knew I can't do anything. He was back. He was in. and I… I was out… Every movement he made… every look… sent pain through my body… I just wanted to keel over and die.

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared

Stop and stare. That's what I did. My mind told me that I should leave so as not to witness this pure torturous scenario but my body betrayed me. My eyes never leaving the scene. Everyone was feeling so scared. I was scared because of the great possibility that Bella was going to take back Edward. Edward was feeling scared that Bella might push him away. Bella was feeling scared of her confusion.

But I've become what I can't be, oh

I had let things go on for too long. I know that I planned on only warming up Edward's spot but my selfishness overtook me… I've become someone I'm not supposed to be… I'm not supposed to be with Bella… taking in the pure joy and love she gave… not when I was partly responsible for all that has happened… our family's departure… Edward's decision… who am I kidding, I can never replace Edward.

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

No. I deserved to be with Bella as well. I had to remind myself that so what if I almost bit her? Edward didn't have to use that to leave Bella. He could've just sent all of us away and stayed behind here to be with her if Bella's safety was the issue or just send me way if he was so scared I might take another bite at her. But now, he did something drastic and unnecessary. Can't anyone see that?



I should be there in his place right now. I should be the one holding her. I should be the one…is he about to kiss her?!

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...

As he was leaning closer and closer to her… holding her tighter… touching her face, alarm bells went off on my mind and I had to leave right now or I might do something I regret. So I ordered my body to move. I still couldn't but I was trying.

Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

But my body is betraying me still. You'll only end up hurt if you stay here and witness this. The little voice in my head warned. But I couldn't look away… I just couldn't… damn, I really need to go. This was bound to happen, I thought. Then… but then…

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair

Come on, move it Jasper! This is how it's supposed to be! She belongs with him, and he to her.

No. I refuse to believe that all two months that we had together was nothing but a distraction. She had just started to say she loves me and now…

EAAAARRRGGGHHHH!

But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Didn't I deserve to be happy as well? I've been with her through her hardest time, I've been nothing but patient… nothing but there for her… so I'm just another mistake for her? I didn't blame her though. I couldn't. I was the one who offered myself. I was the one who said that she try and if things don't work out, that she could make a mistake with me… and was this it? But I love her… I need her. Her and only her. It's not fair, or is it?



Still marble stiff, I watched the scene unfold, dying with each second… then… it happened… and my whole being shattered into bits and pieces and poured with acid as my eyes bulged almost out off their sockets, my mouth ajar at what I witnessed…and felt…

Finally mustering all the ounce of strength I had…and all the remaining self-preservation I kept…

I jumped out and ran.

"Jasper!"

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see.


AN: Song here is Stop & Stare by OneRepublic (love this band).

Here's what's running through Jasper's thoughts about Bella and Edward's reunion. This was very hard to do. So people, still on with TeamJasper or TeamEdward or do you want to see what's inside curtain number three? Just kidding.

I'm closing my poll after the next chapter to give you an update, and then because of other things I've planned for this story, I might need to open up a new poll to get last chance votations. The following chapters will sway your mind to this side then back to that side and back again so think really hard before voting.

It's decided and written in stone. I'm ending this with chapter 20 no matter who Bella is ending up with.

I'll update soon. But I have to leave you hanging here so you could tell me what you think about Jasper and the situation he's facing.

Starting Monday, I "probably" won't be able to update on a daily basis. I've been assigned to be the leader to a lot of group researches and reports so blame my blockmates for snatching some of my time. So there. Do leave reviews, thanks.

Oh right. About how Bella felt... well you have to wait up for that. (",)

KFYI,

Margaux