Chapter Eleven

My god, her family is weird

Like really, really weird!

They make Moscovitz and his little sister appear almost normal… almost.

Anyway, I reached her loft at like twenty past seven.

Ok, yeah, I was running a bit late, but only twenty minutes though! But seriously, can you blame me? Her place is freaky hard to find!

She lives in this area where I swear not even some of my Dad's lower staff members would live in! I mean, seriously, Moscovitz lives in a better area than this! He's up in that huge apartment complex on Fifth Avenue. I guess, there are some upsides to have psychoanalyst as parents, you get to live in a decent apartment as opposed to this piece of junk.

And don't even get me started on her neighbours. I swear I saw two people dressed all in black watching me from one window in her building, sort of all weird and stalker-ish like and then when I went inside, I ran into this guy dressed as a woman!

Ok, so not really such a big deal expect for the fact that he was hot and I actually started to hit on him/her before realising that she was actually a him!

So, not such a great start to my night.

But worse of it all was her parents! I mean, they actually forced me to come into her loft and her dad actually started drilling me with all these questions!

This has never happen when I was going out with Lana. In fact, I never even had to go into her house; she was waiting for me, usually right inside her front door when I came over to pick her up for whatever we had planned for the night. I never even had to see her parents!

And yet here, I'm being drilled by both of hers! And with her bodyguard basically strip searching me with his eyes. I mean, seriously, what the hell did he think I was hiding inside my tux! I'm not James Bond or anything, no matter how much I might wish.

And the even weirder thing was, Mr. G was there too!

What is with that? Isn't there some kind of rule about Teacher's dating student's parents? But whatever, he kept pretty quiet while the Princess's Dad drilled me about what kind of car I drove (My Dad's BMW. I thought he'd be impressed by that, but he wasn't. God, not all of us can own our own Limos'), where we were going (like he hadn't drilled his daughter like fifty thousand times about this dance), what time we'd be back (I thought I'd try and be funny and say at breakfast but I could see that only made him even less impressed with me. Me! I mean, I was able to charm her mom over easily enough, but then she is hot, so it wasn't really all that hard to work my magic over her! Though Mr G and the Princess's Dad both looked severely unimpressed by this.) I tried again to win him over by being respectful of him and calling him 'sir', which seemed to appease him enough to tell the Princess's bodyguard that she was to be back by one at the latest, which I suppose isn't too bad to start with.

I thought that would be the end of it, but the questions just kept coming! Like about what college I was going to (I seemed to have at least impressed them when I said I was applying for all the Ivy Leagues colleges around.) And I at least seemed to have pleased her Dad when I said I was going to study business, but only to lose favour with her hot mom, who asked, more like demanded what was wrong with liberal art education.

What the hell?

I tried to explain that I wanted to get a job that paid me a minimum salary of at least eighty thousand a year. That didn't seem to impress her mom at all; in fact do you know what she said to me? That there are more important things than money! HA! Says the woman who gave birth to the bastard child of a man worth an estimate of three hundred million dollars!

Seriously she must be rolling in it! You know with the whole keeping her illegitimate child to a Prince a secret from the press for fourteen odd years!

Though, you would think, what with all the money he must have paid her to keep her quiet about the kid, you would think she would have brought a better place, right? Because seriously, the loft really is a dump!

There are all these weird paintings everywhere and none of the furniture matches or anything. No wonder the kid has turned out the way she has, living in place like that, with a mother like her, hot as she may be.

On the bright side, the kid looks pretty good. Like almost decent, normal. Close to pretty even. I know, shocking right? The freakishly tall freshman princess actually looks almost pretty! But yeah, she does.

She's wearing this pale, pale silk blue dress that is all scrunched up at the top and we all know why that is. Because she doesn't have anything happening there! She is also wearing matching heels, though seriously I don't know why she even bothered because all it did was make you even more aware of how freakishly tall she already is. But whatever floats her boat.

Anyway, when we finally managed to escape, though not quite because of course her bodyguard is coming along too… which completely sucks, maybe we can ditch him late on in the night. On the bright side at least his driving, so if I do managed to get smashed tonight at least I'll have a ride home.

Anyway, being the gentleman that I am, I opened the backseat door for the princess and she, smiling; slide in before I walked around the car to get in the other side.

As soon as we set off I told her that she looked really nice in her dress. And really, she did. She actually looked kind of hot what with all the city and car lights that were flashing by the car window.

She said thank you and that I looked great in my Tux (well duh! What did she expect? Me to look like Moscovitz or something?) and then she thanked me for the corsage I had given her when I entered her loft before her parental unit pounced on me. I gotta admit, the corsage, it didn't quite go with her dress. I mean, the white roses are fine but the ribbon, which is pink, is kinda clashing with her dress which is blue. But oh well, I wasn't paying another ten bucks to get a whole new corsage. And it's her own fault that I got the wrong coloured ribbon anyway. If she hadn't been so off in la la land or whatever and told me what colour dress she was planning on wearing than we would be having this problem.

And you know another thing, she kept looking at me weirdly, like opening her mouth as if to speak, or as she wants me to speak or something, but then just closes it again and looks away. I mean, what's with that? What's her problem?

Does she want to talk or not?

That was when I remembered Mr. G. I asked her about it, if her hot mom (though I didn't say hot, of course) was really going out with her algebra teacher. She said that Yes, it was true. I fought back my laughter by asking what was that like. She sort of looked at me weirdly again, like she was thinking of saying more than It's weird but she didn't. She just gave this odd little shrug of her shoulders, before looking back out the window.

Seriously weird kid, but thank god we had arrive and I could hang with some normal people. I mean, seriously, the things I do for my public, going out with a freakishly tall freshman Princess being one of them.

I so should get a medal for this!

The texted used in this chapter came from pages 204 - 206 from the Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.


Author's Note: I'm not overly happy with this chapter. But I think that's because I made Josh even more jerky then I previously have, but I don't know, tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.