Chapter 11 Unexpected Help

I hastily turn away from the door and dry my tears taking a deep breath I demand,

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, I was just making sure your okay. "

"Well I'm fine, you can just leave me alone." I snap.

"We're only trying to help you you know.' He informs me. I look at him and sneer,

"How by kidnapping me? Did it ever occur to you that I was happier there?" This earns me a rueful smile.

"You sound like Deka when she came back from re-education. She was guardian formal all the time around me and any Moroi. For a while I thought I had really lost her. It scared me so much, she even said she didn't love me anymore. She tried to ignore me, but I wouldn't leave her alone long enough to really let what they told her sink in. I was persistent, constantly badgering her with memories of the two of us happy together." He says. Despite my fear of Conta I can't help but ask,

"If she was ignoring you then how-"The thought hits me harder than I expected. "You two have a bond." I say not asking merely stating the fact.

**** AN A big thanks to Lil altered, Yvonne Ozera and the two guests that figured it out, you guys are awesome! I was hoping you had an idea where I was going with that.*****

Conta nods, I also have the power to actively enter people's thoughts; I fed her her own memories. I think I was just as surprised as she was when it actually worked." Then looking at me he realizes what he just said, "I would never do that to you or anyone else, it's wrong to do it to anyone other than your bond-mate." He adds hastily. I can barely hear him, my breathing becomes so rapid I think I am about to pass out, Is he in my head right now? I quickly get up and leave the room as fast as I can. Looking back when I am halfway down the hall to make sure he didn't follow me.

Without even realizing it I end up in the library, I gasp for air and sick into a couch. When I can breathe normally again I look around. The library is beautiful but I can't help but think that these are a vampire's books, suddenly the appeal of the room is gone. How could I have ever thought this house was beautiful, it is creepy and vampire tainted. I end up curling up in a ball and falling asleep.

I wake up a few hours later to someone tapping me on the shoulder. I open my eyes to Jillian's face a few inches from mine. I jerk away and only just stop myself from screaming.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just wondering if you were hungry." I notice that someone covered me with a blanket while I was sleeping. I sit up and drape it around my shoulders. Instead of answering her question I ask one of my own,

"What time is it?"

"Morning, nine o'clock I think. Well, are you hungry?'' I shrug, I am hungry but not willing to trust food made in this house. As if reading my mind Jillian says,

"Dorothy made it, don't worry." Jillian says dryly. I glare at her for a second then say,

"I'm not hungry." She shakes her head disapprovingly,

"You have to eat, you've been asleep all day, come on." She grabs my arm and in a surprisingly powerful motion pulls me to my feet. I jerk my arm away. She looks at me for a moment before saying,

"Do you really have to do that? I'm not going to hurt you, you know that." Her frustration turns to real anger as she continues, "You think we're monsters don't you? Look at what the Alchemists did to you, they dragged you away kicking and screaming. They brainwashed you Sydney, why can't you see that?" She storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I find myself hearing her words over and over in my head, 'they brainwashed you Sydney can't you see that?'

They didn't brainwash me, why does everyone think that? The Moroi we're the ones that hurt me. Adrian used compulsion on me didn't he? I didn't think he did until Kentwood told me he did. But what else would make me abandon my Alchemist beliefs? A memory of when I helped Rose escape from prison resurfaces Rose's shock when Mrs. Manstrano suggested that Jill would be a target if she went to Court. In that moment I could see that Rose really cared about Jill, she really didn't want Jill to get hurt.

It is just a tiny moment, a quick flash of insight into Rose's character. She really cared about Jill. Just that little revolution taught me that although they weren't human, but they did have feelings. I think that was the moment when I stopped thinking about them monsters. At that point they became something more real about them. Although I had spent considerable time with Rose and Dimitri it really hit home at that moment.

I try to push the thought away but it starts to take root, Moroi aren't monsters. All of a sudden a throbbing pain starts in my temple, it grows quickly until I can't stand it, I stumble forward and fall forward, blacking out before I hit the ground.

I'm sorry for how long it took to post this chapter. I have been really, really busy. Finals are finally over yeah! So I should be able to start posting regularly again. tank you for reading and reviewing. Keep it up please. You guys are awesome.