JJ house was filled with friends and joyous laughter. It had only been a few months since she and Emily had started dating but things had been going well so far. And to prove that point, she had invited her friends (and technically coworkers) over to relax.
Their work schedules didn't allow for many get-togethers but when they did, JJ tended to take full advantage of them. Plus, it afforded her the chance to try and integrate Emily into their close-knit group.
"JJ you seriously enjoy watching this?" Emily asked when she came out of the kitchen, a cold beer in her hand as she pointed at the television.
"You don't?" JJ asked incredulously, unable to fathom someone not enjoying football as much as she did.
"A bunch of sweaty men ramming into each other and tossing a ball back and forth? Not my idea of a good time." Emily replied, looking at the game as if it were some foreign concept to her.
"Em, if I had known this about you when we first started dating, I'm not sure we would have made it this far," JJ said, leveling her girlfriend with a look of faux-seriousness.
"Jayje, no one loves football as much as you. If that were your criteria for a girlfriend, you would be single for the rest of your life." Garcia chimed in, coming to Emily's defense. "Or dating a man." The tech analyst added as an afterthought.
"Thank you Penelope," Emily said; a smug smirk on her face as she stared defiantly at JJ.
"Hey, hey, don't be getting on my girl's case. How could anyone not enjoy a little football?" Morgan boomed, his arm wrapping around JJ's shoulders in a show of solidarity.
Emily just quirked an eyebrow, her disinterest in the sport showing in her expression as her shoulders bobbed up and down in a casual shrug. "I just don't see the appeal."
JJ's eyes widened as she stared disbelievingly at her girlfriend, her gaze moving towards Derek as if to verify what she was seeing and hearing. "Oh my god," she said exasperatedly, her hands flying into the air with a dramatic flair. "Looks like I've finally found your fatal flaw."
Her girlfriend gave her a look of pure amusement before sidling up to the disgruntled blonde, her hands resting firmly on her hips. "Jennifer," the doctor practically purred, making her name sound like so much more than it was, "I make an effort of taking an interest in all the things you love," the brunette leaned closer, "but I have never and probably will never be a football fan, not even you can change that." And before JJ could respond or snap out of the stupor the doctor had put her in, Emily placed a chaste kiss on her lips before grabbing Garcia and making a quick getaway.
JJ stood rooted to floor, her eyes following her girlfriends retreating figure. "You would think I'd be used to her doing that by now."
Morgan nodded in understanding, watching JJ with rapt attention. While he and JJ weren't exactly close, at least not as close as her and Penelope, he knew a decent amount about her relationship with Emily.
Nothing too intrusive but enough to know that they had been together for a handful of months and that Emily had been getting along with JJ and Henry spectacularly. And if the completely enraptured and lovesick look in the blonde's cerulean eyes was anything to go by, he could only guess that JJ was head over heels in love with Emily.
Channeling his inner Penelope Garcia, Morgan smiled devilishly before bringing his beer to his lips and taking a sip. "But isn't that one of the reasons you love her so much?" He asked innocently, staring at Garcia and Emily talking in the kitchen and pointedly ignoring the shocked look JJ was giving him. "I mean, she's pretty great JJ. If you didn't snatch her up I definitely would have," he joked, noticing out of the corner of his eye how JJ's smile returned full force once she resumed watching her girlfriend.
"Yeah, she is," JJ breathed out dreamily.
"So, are you guys like ready to get a U-Haul and move in together?" He asked bluntly; wondering if Penelope enjoyed doing this to JJ as much as he currently was. It wasn't that he thought they were going to be moving in after only five months of, realistically put, erratic dating but it was just too funny to see the composed Jennifer Jareau scramble to answer.
"W-what?" JJ sputtered; her eyes wide in shock and something Morgan couldn't quite identify.
"That's what Babygirl is always telling me," Morgan said casually, his expression purposefully innocent and curious. "Something about being surprised you made it this long considering it's supposed to happen on the second date."
JJ was not only mortified at the question but also a little offended by the stereotype. At least, until she realized it was Garcia who had been saying it and since the tech analyst didn't have any sort of filter, she found it increasingly hard to be anything other than amused. "That's just a stereotype Morgan." Her hand raked through her hair before she turned to look at her colleague, "Besides, we haven't even said 'I love you' to each other yet."
"Really?" Morgan shouted in surprise, his eyebrows rocketing upwards.
JJ hissed at him, "Be quiet!" Her eyes frantically swept the room but everyone else was engrossed in their own conversations.
"Sorry," Morgan mumbled. "But, seriously, you guys haven't said that to each other yet?" He looked at her quizzically before quietly saying "I thought for sure you would have said it by now."
JJ's forehead crinkled, "What's that supposed to mean?"
He shrugged and crammed his hand into his pocket, "It means that I have eyes and I can see the way you look at her." It was said as if it was a wide known fact and JJ couldn't help but blush. "You do love her, right?"
The blonde blushed even harder, her eyes skittering away from Morgan's inquisitive expression before locking onto the brunette across the room. She drank in the way Emily could effortlessly blend in with her friends, how she was so eloquent, how every moment with her seemed like something she should be cherishing. As if every part of her recognized how rare and wondrous their time together was.
Her heart swelled with emotion as she finally let herself admit that, yeah, she was completely, head-over-heels, undoubtedly, irrevocably, and shamelessly in love with Emily Prentiss.
"Yeah," JJ said quietly, "I love her." The words tumbled from her mouth effortlessly, making her entire body feel light and warm.
As if sensing the gravity of the moment, Emily peered over Garcia's shoulder and met JJ's misty eyes, a smile tugging at her lips before she saw the emotions flashing across the media liaison's face.
JJ saw the look of concern and just waved her hand in the air, silently telling Emily that it was nothing to worry about.
Upon seeing that, Emily nodded slightly but made a mental note to ask about it later. She turned her attention back to Garcia and laughed at the far from tactful inquisition into her relationship.
"You should know better than to ask me this kind of stuff Pen," Emily chuckled lightly, "JJ is the one who cracks whenever you interrogate us."
Penelope smacked Emily's arm lightly as she tried to suppress her smile at the truth of her friend's words. "Shh," the tech analyst chided as she jabbed her finger lightly into the doctor's shoulder, "that's my best friend you're talking about."
The brunette smiled even wider, "I like how you didn't deny what I said."
"Because then I would be lying and we both know I'm not very good at that." Garcia said happily before taking a sip of her drink. "I am good at getting juicy details though," she said thoughtfully.
Emily nodded in agreement, having firsthand knowledge of just how much information Garcia could get not only on a person but from a person as well. More details on her relationship with JJ had been spilled to Garcia than the doctor would have ever thought possible. Actually, with the things Penelope knew about them, Emily figured that on at least a technical level, Garcia was practically both their girlfriends.
"I can't refute that, though I would really like to." Emily said ruefully.
"Cheer up Emily," Garcia chirped, a terror-causing smile spreading across her lips as though she were about to devour her prey, "me knowing the ins and outs of your relationship is a good thing."
The brunette just stared blankly at her; her expression showing just how doubtful she was of that assessment.
Garcia scoffed and pointed towards herself "I'm all-knowing, sugarplum, which means that I'm your golden ticket out of the doghouse. You should be praising my intrusive tendencies not criticizing them."
"I'm not in the doghouse," Emily pointed out quickly before wondering if Penelope knew something that she didn't. "Wait," the brunette said, holding up a hand to halt the next thing that was about to be said, "am I? Do you know something I don't?"
The tech analyst burst out into laughter, loving how quickly Emily could go from confident to a flustered and worried mess in just a matter of milliseconds. "Oh my dear, sexy, lady lovin' doctor, you are so whipped. But alas, you are not in the doghouse; at least not that I know of."
Emily breathed out a sigh of relief before the rest of Garcia's words registered and then a scowl settled onto her face. "I am not whipped. Emily Prentiss has never and will never be whipped." She said the word with mild disgust, mostly because she was appalled at just how big of a lie her words were. Her mini freak-out about being in trouble with JJ had pretty much proved it. Plus, it was a little pathetic that even she recognized how lost and sad she tended to be when JJ was away on cases. (The fact that everyone had, at some point, equated her to a puppy following its owner, was willfully ignored.)
Garcia gave Emily a look that clearly showed how little she believed that lie, "You keep telling yourself that, sweetie," she said gingerly while patting the doctor's shoulder.
Emily grumbled lightly before walking away, purposefully ignoring the laughter coming from Garcia as she did so.
For the next few hours, Emily made the rounds and attempted to strike up conversation with everyone there. It wasn't difficult to find shared interests or to maintain conversation. She attributed that to her upbringing and need to hold her own when her mother forced her to attend political parties; it was one of the few things her mother taught her that Emily prided herself on.
Just as the doctor settled onto the couch and started to talk to Reid about some interesting medical studies he had read, JJ appeared behind her and tapped her shoulder, the blonde's face pensive and conflicted.
"Excuse me, Spencer," Emily said politely before getting up from her seat and meeting JJ in the empty kitchen.
"What's wrong, Jen?" The doctor asked softly as she moved closer to her obviously troubled girlfriend. Behind her, Emily could just barely make out the ringing of several different phones. "A case?" She asked suddenly, putting two and two together.
JJ frowned and nodded, her arms crossed at her chest as her teeth worried her bottom lip.
"You've had cases before, Jen," Emily pointed out; not understanding why JJ was suddenly acting like this was a new aspect of her life. It wasn't particularly easy to reconcile that Emily not only needed to share JJ with Henry, which wasn't really ever a problem, but that she also had to share her with work; having had plenty of dates and plans ruined or put on hold because the media liaison needed to up and leave. But when all was said and done, the hectic and somewhat unconventional job hours were more than worth it when Emily finally got JJ to herself.
"It's not about the case," JJ finally said, her blue eyes filled with uncertainty. "Well, not really. I mean, we did get called in on one and have about an hour before we need to be on the jet and headed towards Nevada," she rambled nervously, only stopping when Emily's hands gently gripped her biceps and soothingly ran her thumb over the exposed tan flesh.
"Breathe, Jennifer," Emily chuckled, trying valiantly to hide the sliver of fear that coiled tightly in her stomach. "Now, if it's not about the case then what is it?"
Taking a deep breath as instructed, the blonde exhaled heavily, "I've got twenty minutes to get to the BAU and prepare the case file before presenting it and after that it's wheels up."
Emily nodded, showing she was following along so far, her eyes widening slightly as she silently encouraged the blonde to continue.
"And since I didn't pick this case and had no clue we would be leaving today, I don't have anybody who can watch Henry while I'm gone. I've tried calling my usual sitters but they're all busy and can't make it here."
Emily continued to stare at the blonde, her thumbs still absently rubbing JJ's biceps. JJ, for her part, waited for the information to fully register for Emily and had to bite back a smile when the doctor's eyes widened comically and her mouth dropped open, forming a small 'o'.
"Yeah, so I guess what I'm asking is, do you think you could hang out here and watch Henry?" JJ smiled weakly, unsure of how this request would go over with the brunette. When Emily didn't respond and continued to silently stare at her, JJ started to ramble nervously, "I mean, I know you haven't really spent any alone time with him, at least not for extended periods of time but he adores you and you're the only person I trust enough to watch him. If it makes you too uncomfortable or if it's too soon I can try and find someone else or maybe have Penelope watch him while she works from the office-" her ramble was cut short by Emily's lips pressing softly against hers.
"Relax, babe. No need to freak out or anything; I just needed a minute to catch up. You kind of caught me off guard there." Which was a total understatement as far as Emily was concerned, but she sure as hell wasn't about to tell JJ that.
"Sorry," the media liaison said meekly, her cheeks turning a light pink as she waited for Emily's answer.
"I'd love to watch him, Jayje," she said quietly, knowing that she would have been spending time alone with Henry sooner or later. And rather than put it off and force JJ to look for a suitable sitter, she figured she could bite the bullet and do it sooner rather than later.
"You'll only need to watch him tonight, I'm sure I'll be able to find someone who can take over tomorrow." It wasn't that JJ didn't think Emily could handle a few days alone with Henry but more that she didn't want to push her into the deep end without knowing if she could swim. That was more for Emily's benefit than JJ or Henry's, since the blonde was more than confident that Emily could handle her son. Especially once she saw how the doctor was around the kids at her work and how children tended to take an instant liking to the brunette.
"Don't worry about that," Emily dismissed JJ's offer easily and genuinely, "just focus on your case and I'll watch him while you're gone. Besides, what's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't exploit her and get free babysitting?"
JJ chuckled quietly before wrapping her arms around Emily's neck and crashing their lips together, wanting to pour all of her gratitude and undeclared love into the action. "Thank you for doing this Em," she breathed.
Emily waved her hand dismissively and tried to downplay the enormity of JJ's request, "It's not a problem. Just go and get your stuff and I'll hold down the fort until you get back."
Nodding slowly and pressing yet another kiss to Emily's lips, JJ left the kitchen and went to pack her go bag and say goodbye Henry.
As she watched JJ walk away, Emily tamped down her fear and uncertainty and pushed it to the back of her mind, unwilling to add more to JJ's already full plate by showing just how big of a deal this request was. Once JJ was gone and Henry was asleep, Emily would digest and process this new development, but until then she would be the dependable girlfriend that JJ needed.
JJ sat on the jet, her phone clutched tightly in her hand and her fingers hovering just above the keyboard. So far, the day wasn't going anywhere near how she had imagined it when she had woken up but there wasn't much she could do about it now.
The weekend was supposed to start off with a fun and long overdue get-together where she could subtly show off her fantastic girlfriend and bask in the easiness that hanging out with friends always provided. From there, it was going to just be the three of them and then just some alone time between her and Emily.
But when Hotch called in, it was obvious that none of that was going to be happening and JJ couldn't exactly hide her disappointment. As much as she wanted to be angry and hate her job, she knew that this was out of her hands. At least when the case was over she would be going home to Emily and Henry and their perfect bubble would still be intact, but the families the team would be interviewing once they landed, the trail of destruction they would be following that would undoubtedly leave people scarred, meant that some wouldn't be going home to the same happiness JJ was.
It was the hope that somehow, some way, JJ was doing some good that kept her doing her job. It was what fueled her to look through gruesome images and murders daily, what made her put up with the press frenzy and the constant travels; all of it was because deep down, she wanted to feel like she was making the world a better place. That somehow, others could remain blissfully unaware of how close their lives had come to being torn apart by a ruthless killer.
Most of all, JJ wanted a place where she could be proud to say her son was raised in; to have the knowledge that Henry could exist in a world with one less serial killer, one less murderer, and sleep easy at night knowing his mom was getting rid of the bad guys.
But sitting on the jet, just mere minutes from takeoff, she allowed herself to wallow in the temporary bitterness and disappointment, because doing all that good and sacrificing days that could be spent with her son to instead track down a serial killer took its toll and if JJ could only be angry at her job and the sick people who make the world a place where nightmares become reality, then she would use that time for all it was worth.
With an increasing heaviness, her fingers quickly tapped on the screen, hammering out the message before the jet started its takeoff and her phone would be forced to turn off.
'Getting ready for takeoff, will call when we land. And thank you again for taking care of Henry while I'm away. x Jen'
Her finger pressed the send key before she gave into temptation and tried to rewrite the message. Just as she was about to turn the phone off, the screen lit up and a message flashed across it.
JJ hastily opened the text, her frown long forgotten as a smile pulled at her lips.
'Be safe and come back in one piece. We'll miss you and expect calls daily.' Attached to the short message was a photo of both Emily and Henry waving happily, and JJ had to choke down the emotions that the simple picture and message evoked.
As her phone shut down, JJ couldn't help but feel that if there were any reservations or doubt as to whether Emily now claimed a permanent residence in her heart, there certainly wasn't any more.
Little by little, Emily was ruining her and as detrimental as that could be, the feeling of wholeness that the doctor brought to the table more than made up for it.
Emily sat in JJ's house, having just put Henry to sleep and finally allowing herself to feel a little shocked to be there alone with only Henry to keep her company. It was shocking to the extent that every new step was, but at the same time it shouldn't have surprised Emily that this was happening, it seemed only logical that at some point she would be here.
But like all things in this relationship, Emily felt like it was coming out of right field, even when she could clearly see it coming. Because throughout everything, the doctor had felt like she was walking on unsolid ground. Each step forward had the ground feeling shaky, her knees trembling with the knowledge that with one misplaced step, the ground could crumble beneath her.
It was irrational to an extent, but Emily knew all too well how quickly things could go south and that was something she was avidly trying to avoid with JJ. It was why through everything, she had taken it in stride and made the effort to invest as much of herself into things as she could. The constant fear of falling into oblivion and being left utterly alone and devoid of all the things Henry and JJ made her feel was what fueled her.
Admittedly, had Emily let JJ in on how lacking she was in relationships, maybe she could have been eased into things. But as it stood, instead of taking the chance of wading in the shallow end then attempting to swim to the deep end, Emily had decided to jump headfirst into the deep end and hope that she didn't drown.
It was stupid in a lot of ways but once the doctor had gotten a taste of what being with someone could be she was hooked and far too unwilling to jeopardize it by blabbing to JJ that one night stands were the extent of her relationships. How could a woman like Jennifer, a woman like JJ who had a son want to be with someone who couldn't even hold on to a person long enough to learn their birthday let alone their last name? Hell, sometimes even Emily got disgusted with herself when she thought of how her life had been lived.
So it scared the living crap out of her to tell JJ that she wasn't as great as she seemed now. Because behind the curtain was a woman who had a questionable past and had spent a larger part of her life making sure that everlasting bonds never took hold.
But damn JJ and her bright blue eyes and blonde hair and charming smile; it all just knocked Emily in the gut and sent her scrambling.
The unflappable and untamable Emily Prentiss had been knocked off balance and tamed with just a single look from JJ and Henry. It would have been pathetic had she not cherished the feeling of belonging so damn much.
Knowing she was alone in the house, with the exception of Henry upstairs, made her feel excited and, frankly, scared shitless.
This wasn't the first time Emily had been there. In fact, she had spent quite a few nights in the Jareau household; even recently going so far as to get up in the morning (rather than leaving before Henry got up) and making breakfast. Though that had only really happened because JJ, in her usual coffee-addicted stupor, had kicked Emily out of bed and all but demanded coffee and Emily, being the suddenly whipped girlfriend that she was, had done so without another thought. And only seconds after she had set the coffee down on the nightstand, Henry had come bounding into the room, his smile only getting bigger when his eyes landed on Emily's somewhat decently dressed self.
From that point, sneaking out was unnecessary and was just another stepping stone in their relationship.
The doctor took that one in stride, always secretly relishing in the way things were progressing; but now that she was basically babysitting Henry and house-sitting, it felt like a little much.
Mainly because she was scared of not only what it meant but how her performance during this innocuous test would affect things.
The underlying meanings behind this were not lost on Emily, even if JJ didn't even realize these meanings when she had so sincerely asked for the brunette's assistance.
This meant that not only did JJ trust Emily to occupy her house unattended but more importantly, it meant that she trust Emily with her most precious possession; Henry.
The thought alone had the air from the doctor's lungs whooshing out and her chest feeling abnormally tight, her throat closing in a way she had long since learned to associate with Henry and JJ.
Sighing quietly to herself, Emily leaned her head onto the back of the couch, resigning herself to the swell of emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long. She couldn't quite put her finger on them all but she was sure that somewhere in there, 'like' had morphed into 'love' and was burning her from the inside out.
"I love Jennifer," Emily whispered to the quiet house, her eyes widening with realization. "I love her," she whispered again, her mind needing to hear it and say it to believe it to be true.
"I love them both," she said quieter, a note of awe in her voice as the words finally sunk into her, sending her heart into a flurry and her stomach twisting in a fit of nerves and giddy excitement.
"Em'ly?" A sleepy voice called from upstairs and Emily's smile immediately grew, wondering why the hell she had waited so long to let herself feel this feeling and fall so ridiculously in love.
"Be right there buddy," Emily said as she walked up the stairs, feeling that sense of belonging that only the Jareau's could bring her.
She couldn't deny that a part of her was still scared by these developments but the fear of moving forward and making progress would probably never leave her, but it was a lot less debilitating when the feeling of loving and being loved was so overwhelming.
JJ's plans to call and check in with Emily were derailed the moment the jet landed and details about their case were leaked to the press. With her teeth grinding in annoyance, she climbed into one of the officer's cars and headed towards the station, already mentally preparing a statement that would pacify the media while remaining tightlipped on the particulars of the BAU's presence and the intricate details of the murders.
Halfway through her mental outline of her press release, JJ couldn't quite shake the need to check in or at least update Emily.
It was so ridiculously domestic and up until now, hadn't really been a part of their relationship. Sure, she would call or text when she was away on a case but it was erratic at best and was just a way to maintain communication. Which, when JJ thought about it, didn't sound so great but the fact was that they were both busy people and her job made things unpredictable.
More often than not plans were broken and remade only to be broken again. So the few texts and phone calls they did manage to exchange while they were otherwise preoccupied helped keep some form of normalcy in their relationship.
And, truth be told, if phone calls like this were more regular JJ wouldn't exactly hate the idea. Cases never failed to take their toll on her and only once had she caved and called Emily, not explicitly mentioning to the other woman why she was calling. If Emily knew that was why she was calling, she didn't let on, opting instead to talk about the ridiculous things that happened at her office or complaining about mundane things. When JJ hung up, her five minute call having turned into a forty-five minute one, she felt lighter and eternally grateful for Emily's knack for distracting her.
So if those calls were to be more regular, could distract her enough to make it through the case and back home, who was she to turn them down? Emily had made a point of telling JJ to call whenever she needed, constantly making herself available and if the doctor was now willing to watch her son while she was away and even housesit, then a phone call at 2 a.m. probably wasn't going to be what sent her running for the hills.
'I'm over thinking this, I know I am. Six months in and I still can't stop tiptoeing around. She's seen everything there is to see about my life, knows all the important things about me, knows about my baggage and seems to have accepted it all. Ugh! If she hasn't left by now, she doesn't plan to, stop worrying over everything!' The mental scolding JJ gave herself worked for the moment, but when you've seen so many good things, heck, great things, go sour more often than not, it gets harder and harder to accept that there isn't going to be some sort of fallout.
Her relationships failed more times than she would like to remember and after so many burnt to the ground, it got easier to accept that even when things seemed to be going superbly, that didn't mean that the steady foundation beneath her feet wouldn't just crumble and drop.
It was a personal fear that JJ had long ago acknowledged and to a certain degree, was always wrestling with. Learning to trust and share the weight of her baggage was not something the blonde had done often or with ease, but the risk of being left heartbroken and alone but knowing love was worth more than the safety of being single and going through life just feeling content.
Love isn't easy; the emotion is strong and a force to be reckoned with, it's the one thing that can anchor a person and still have them flying high above everyone else. It's the thing that makes palms sweat and hearts beat faster than a hummingbird's wings can flap; the emotion that can singlehandedly destroy a person or turn them into the best version of themselves. It's all encompassing but not without its risks.
So it stands to reason that if the reward is that great, then the risks should be just as high. So if giving up that last piece of herself meant a chance at achieving what most people can only hope for, then JJ was going to put it all on the line.
'Off the jet and on the way to the police station for a press conference. Won't be able to call until we head to the hotel. x Jen'
The message was sent quickly, her body holding less tension now that she had checked in.
Just as the car pulled up the station, JJ's phone vibrated from within her pocket. Her fingers fumbled clumsily for the device before pulling it out and reading the newest message.
'Glad you made it there okay. Call whenever you get the chance…no matter how late. I'm a night owl so just call when you can. About anything. –Emily'
The blonde stared at the message, Emily's voice reading the message aloud in her head. The blonde could hear the pauses in her sentences, the nervous tone of her voice and could easily picture the doctor hastily adding the last line.
"You ready, ma'am?" The young officer asked, his hand holding open the door to the station.
JJ tried not to cringe at the use of 'ma'am' but didn't quite succeed; it was silly but it made her feel old, especially when the officer calling her that looked like he was still wet behind the ears.
Nodding as she reluctantly stuffed her phone back into her pocket, "Lead the way officer Duncan."
With her shoulders squared and her media liaison mask in place, she strolled into the precinct; fully prepared to do damage control and clean up the media mess that had been created.
When Emily finally collapsed onto JJ's bed, it was already after 3 AM and she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and give in to her overwhelming need for sleep. She had tried valiantly to wait up for JJ's call but the later it got, the harder it was to keep her eyes open.
So with what little strength she had left, Emily tiredly kick off her shoes and fell back onto the bed, not at all caring for the fact that she was still fully clothed. Her body, as if sensing her readiness for sleep, relaxed instantly and her eyes started to slide shut.
Just as her mind started to wander off and the beginnings of a deep slumber pulled at her, a shrill beeping sounded to her left followed by an obnoxious clattering that the doctor could only assume was her phone vibrating on the nightstand.
Resisting the sudden urge to hurtle the loud object across the room and celebrate its demise, Emily rolled on her side and quickly grabbed it, her finger sliding across the screen to answer the call before it went to voicemail.
"Hello," she mumbled tiredly into the phone, unable to keep the sleep from her voice.
"Emily? Did I wake you?" JJ's voice sounded on the other line, instantly clearing the sleep induced fog that had settled over Emily.
"No, well…yes but that doesn't matter. How's the case going?" Lying to JJ was a waste seeing as how Emily was 99% positive her voice was raspy with sleep.
"Shit, sorry Em, I forgot about the time differences. It's only a little after midnight here but it's got to be like what, three in the morning over there?"
"I told you to call whenever and I meant it. So, how are you holding up?"
Emily listened to the heavy sigh on the other line and had an inkling that JJ was far from fine. "I'm managing but sometimes it's just really hard to imagine that someone could do things like this to children. I see it all the time, so I should be used to the brutality of it and stop being surprised but every time it, it just…"
Emily swiftly cut in, "Jennifer, it's a good thing that after all these years these things still get to you; it shows that you care. When you stop being affected by it and seem impervious to it all, then you should start worrying. But there's nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, especially when you can relate to these parents."
On the other line, JJ cradled the phone to her ear and tried to let the reassuring words wash over her. With cases involving children, it always seemed to hit her more than the others. Specifically because she had Henry and couldn't imagine what she would do if any of those things had happened to her son. 'What if's' always ran through her mind; keeping her awake and running on fumes and day old coffee during those cases, her restlessness only ceasing when she stepped foot into her home and had her arms wrapped securely around Henry.
"I just hate feeling like this," JJ took a ragged breath and tried to reign in her tumultuous thoughts.
"It's okay to let the case get to you, Jen, that's totally understandable." Emily sat up and used her own coping methods as a way for JJ to get through the next few days. "But you can't get caught up in all the gore. Find something to get you through it, find something that takes away, even momentarily, from the case and all the bad stuff that comes with it. Bring a picture of Henry and focus on that, find solace in the fact that he's healthy and away from everything you're dealing with. And when you go back to it the next day, think of the kids you'll be saving not the ones you've lost."
Though that advice was a bit more watered down, Emily was sure it would at least partially help JJ. For the doctor, looking at the positives and trying to see the silver linings didn't usually work. She found it was easier to stuff it all in a compartment and leave it be until it was filled to the brim. Dealing with things was never one of her strong suits; it wasn't necessarily procrastination, but a way of showing that if she didn't acknowledge or explore her pain or emotions, then she didn't feel the weight of them. If she didn't see them, then they weren't really there.
The mask she wore wasn't just to keep people out but to keep things locked in as well. And though she knew it wasn't healthy by any means, it was something she had learned that worked and so throughout the years, she had stuck with it.
But for JJ, she imagined that locking those emotions in would only serve to destroy her from the inside out.
"Is that why you sent me that picture earlier?" JJ's voice sounded from the other end, drawing Emily from her thoughts.
"Yeah, you caught me. I thought you might need something to remind you of what you're coming back to." The doctor chuckled lightly, her eyes fixed to the window where streaks of moonlight poked through the curtains.
"Well, it's working. I keep looking at it and wishing I were back home." The melancholy in JJ's voice made Emily's heart ache.
"You say that now, but once you get here and spend a whole day with us you'll be wishing otherwise. I'm the fun one which means Henry will be eating things he shouldn't be and doing things you would never let him do. He'll be bouncing off the walls by the time you get back."
JJ huffed on the other line and Emily could almost see her trying to scowl at the words but failing miserably. "Emily, you wouldn't."
"Jennifer, I've been told by Penelope that as the fun one, it's my job to spoil him and give him candy and toys and let him watch cartoons all day." A rustling echoed over the line until Emily's voice came back on, "She actually gave me a book of duties that a fun babysitter is supposed to do. I'm pretty sure she made it herself." The doctor didn't even try to hide how impressed she was with the object.
"Yeah, she handed them out about a week after I gave birth. She takes her job as godmother pretty seriously." JJ's quiet laughter echoed in the silence for a moment before the blonde spoke again, "In fact, she's bought Henry more clothes and toys than I have. She once came barreling down the street with about ten or fifteen shopping bags; all of it for Henry, and one tiny bag for her boyfriend. It was ridiculous."
Emily smiled as she listened to JJ's voice, having no problem imagining Penelope going overboard. "I can imagine. I doubt Penelope is capable of doing anything without going overboard. Hell, even the way she answers the phone is overboard; but it's what makes her so…Penelope Garcia."
"That's very true. Even if I knew beforehand that she would go crazy with her new title as godmother, I doubt I would have picked anyone else."
"Well, she may go a little overboard with the shopping but at least she never got Henry's head stuck in a stairwell banister. I did that once and was never recruited for babysitting duty again. You clearly picked a good one." Emily smiled fondly at the memory, seeing the humor in it now that years had passed. But when it had been happening, she was anything but humorous about the situation.
"You're kidding, right?" JJ asked incredulously, unable to believe that Emily Prentiss would allow a child to get their head stuck in anything.
"God, I wish I was. My mother made the mistake of trying to schmooze some political prospects by offering me up for free babysitting. The kid was a hellion; he was always knocking stuff down, disobeying me and being a generally spoiled brat. But about an hour before his parent's were supposed to get home, he got the smart idea to stick his head in between the wooden beams of the stairs and got his head stuck."
JJ laughter automatically had Emily smiling, "Did his parents find out?" The blonde asked between laughs.
"No, I ended up using a ton of oil and butter to slide his head out just before his parents got home but he ended up spilling the beans about it a week later. It wouldn't have mattered anyways though because they had no intention of befriending my mother, they just wanted the free babysitting."
"I wish you had told me this story before, I would have thought twice about leaving you with Henry." JJ joked, her thoughts about the case momentarily forgotten in favor of making fun of her girlfriend.
"Ha ha," Emily said dryly, a smile on her face despite her dry tone, "I'll have you know that since then, I have gotten much better with kids. Being a pediatrician has basically made me the world's best babysitter." The brunette didn't even try to hide the cocky tone to her voice.
"Oh, really?" JJ asked, her eyebrow cocking at the haughty declaration from Emily.
"Yes, really. If you can convince a squeamish three year old to let you give them a shot then you're basically qualified as the best babysitter ever. Of course, I had to bribe her with about seven lollipops but still, it counts." Emily had no doubt that her job qualified her as a shoe in when it came to watching kids; she dealt with them on nearly a daily basis. So if anyone was suited to watch a kid, she figured it was her; they were her job after all.
"Is that your secret, Doctor Prentiss? Just load them up on sugar so they're on too high of a sugar rush to realize they're about to get a shot?" JJ teased, knowing full well how much children loved the doctor without the added benefit of a sugary treat.
"Well, just between me and you," Emily said conspiratorially, "yes. Lots and lots of candy. Preferably not grape though, I've found that most of them hate grape."
JJ outright laughed at that, imagining the patented Emily smirk and sparkling eyes as the brunette talked. "I knew it! There was no way Henry would love a trip to the doctor's office as much as he did unless he was being bribed with candy."
Emily smiled broadly, her back leaning against the headboard of JJ's bed, "Surprisingly, I didn't need to bribe him with suckers; he just enjoyed my company that much."
The blonde could only snort in response, "Full of yourself much?"
"Nope," Emily said confidently, her cocky attitude on full display, "I just have a way with Jareaus; they find me irresistible."
JJ couldn't help it, she burst out laughing, unable to deny the way both her and Henry both seemed to fall under the Prentiss spell. There was no point in refuting that; the moment they met the doctor they were both a lost cause.
"Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you and your huge ego," the blonde wondered aloud, her endearing smile betraying the seriousness of the comment.
'Because it's one of the many things you love about me,' Emily almost said before the heaviness of the comment settled in her brain. "It's about eighty percent my good looks and twenty percent my sense of humor." The doctor said instead, refusing to bring 'love' up over the phone; even if it was just in a joking manner.
"It's more than just that," JJ said easily and seriously, not wanting the other woman to think she didn't appreciate all the wonderfully complex parts of her personality.
"I know," Emily said softly, all joking gone from her voice.
For a long moment, the silence hung between them; it wasn't necessarily tense but it was definitely charged.
"I should let you go, you are absolutely going to need the rest if you're going to spend the whole day with Henry tomorrow," JJ suddenly said, her voice sounding strained with emotion and a forced lightness.
"Alright," Emily said after a second, unsure how to tread now that something had transpired. What exactly, she had no idea, but she was certain that something had shifted.
Just as JJ started to pull the phone away from her ear, Emily's voice echoed on the line again. "Jennifer?"
"Yeah, Em?"
After only a moment's hesitation, Emily spoke up. "I just wanted to say that you're a great person and an even better mom. I would have killed to have my mother care even a hundredth of how much you care for Henry. I know these cases get to you, that they wear you down and make you question everything about yourself and the world, but just know that you're doing a lot of good, even if you don't necessarily see it right now." The doctor fidgeted with the hem of the blanket beneath her, wanting to say what was on her mind but also wanting to word it just right. "You do a lot of good; you give those families a peace of mind that they might not otherwise get. You get killers off the streets and save countless lives in the process. It might not seem like it now, but you are doing more good than you realize."
JJ sat on her motel bed, her eyes watery with unshed tears as she let the words envelope her and become the balm to her troubled mind.
"Thanks Em," JJ practically whispered into the phone, her voice wavering with the fervid emotions Emily's words evoked.
"I'm always here for you Jen," Emily said just as quietly, her voice sincere and open. "Anytime."
"I know," the blonde responded, her fingers clutching the phone tightly as she tried to reign in her emotions. "I don't know what I would do without you sometimes, Emily." She confessed, wanting the doctor to know just how much she valued her without muttering the three words that had been on the tip of her tongue since her talk with Morgan.
Emily took comfort in the confession, relishing the feeling of being wanted and needed. It had been a long time since she'd felt those particular emotions and just wanted to bask in them for as long as possible. "You'll never have to find out, at least not if I have anything to say about it."
"I might just hold you to that," JJ taunted, wanting to lighten their suddenly heavy conversation.
Sensing the need for a little levity, Emily smirked devilishly. "That's not the only thing you can hold against me, Jennifer," the doctor purred, her voice oozing with implications and unvoiced challenges.
"Oh my god," JJ groaned, her mind automatically going to the gutter at the words and tone of Emily's voice.
"I'll leave you to let your imagination run wild with that," Emily teased.
"Just wait until I get back Emily." JJ threatened, her imagination coming up with several enticing scenarios where she could exact her revenge.
"Night, Jennifer." Emily singsonged, not at all caring for the threat.
"Good night Emily," JJ said reluctantly, trying to shove the traitorous images of a wanton Emily Prentiss from her mind.
"Can't wait for you to get back," Emily breathed huskily before stifling her laughter at JJ's barely restrained groan. "Bye Jennifer."
With that, Emily hung up quickly, dropping the phone on the nightstand and collapsing back onto the bed, a smile on her face that not even her exhaustion could wipe away.
And as JJ lay in her bed, her phone resting on the table beside her bed, she fell asleep with a nearly identical smile stretched across her face, all tension from the case forgotten in favor of thoughts of her girlfriend.
For the next two days JJ and Emily continued their nightly calls, Emily providing comfort and temporary distractions to the blonde, allowing JJ to take her mind off the case and get what little sleep she could.
When the case finally wrapped up and JJ was sitting on the jet, she couldn't keep her legs still. Every cell of her body felt like it was vibrating, her nerves all of sudden making her fingers twitch and leg jump as her mind relentlessly went over the speech she had been planning since she had left for the case.
Discussing feelings was not always an easy thing to do when Emily was concerned and that was something JJ had long since accepted. No one was without their flaws and that was definitely one of Emily's. Though the blonde figured that was due mostly, if not entirely, to the doctor's mother, seeing as how Elizabeth Prentiss had encouraged Emily from a young age to refrain from showing her feelings.
So broaching the topic of love wouldn't be an easy thing; and blurting it out was certainly not a possibility. Those three words had to be handled with care and JJ had every intention of doing just that.
However, that was easier said than done.
Each speech or conversation she mentally created seemed ill-fitting; the anxiety over it all twisting her stomach into knots and sending a painful throb to her temples.
By the time her car pulled up to her house, she was no closer to what she wanted to say than when she had left for the case. Standing outside her door with the key in the lock, she finally admitted to herself that something of this much importance couldn't be planned and that her best option would be to just wing it and speak from the heart.
Of course, that was before the door opened and a small blurry bundle of joy tackled her; tiny arms wrapping tightly around her legs while "Momma!" was exclaimed happily and repeatedly.
Quickly dropping to her knees, JJ embraced her son in a tight and warm hug, cherishing the feeling of love that only her son could bring her. The stiffness she had been unknowingly been carrying from the case vanished as Henry's arms wrapped around her neck and he planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek.
"I missed you so much sweetie," JJ said reverently, burying her nose in her son's hair just before she placed a kiss to his forehead.
In the background, the blonde briefly registered the pitter patter of what sounded like paws on the floor and Emily's hushed voice.
With a grace that only Emily seemed to possess, the doctor slowly descended the stairs (or maybe JJ's mind slowed the movement down, the blonde couldn't be entirely sure), a yellow lab trailing excitedly behind her.
"You're back," Emily said with unrestrained joy, her eyes inspecting JJ's form for injuries as she moved closer.
"I'm back," JJ breathed, her arms momentarily outstretched to show she was injury free.
With nothing more than a quick kiss as a greeting, JJ picked up Henry and whisked him upstairs, wanting to spend more time with her son but knowing it was long past his bedtime. In the back of her mind, JJ knew that come the morning, she would be spending most if not all of her day with Henry.
A kiss to the forehead and one story later, the little boy was sound asleep and JJ was slowly making her way down the hall.
JJ walked into her bedroom, instantly smiling once she saw Emily sprawled out on the mattress in nothing more than a tank top and boy shorts. Standing in the doorway, she leaned against the frame and let her eyes roam over the enticing figure of the doctor.
Observing the way her raven hair fanned out on the pillow, how her arm was slung carelessly over her eyes, the way her black tank top rode up her stomach to reveal a creamy patch of her taut and defined abdomen, the seemingly endless miles of perfect legs.
"I can feel you staring," Emily muttered sleepily, her arm never moving from her eyes.
"When there's a sexy woman in my bed, I'm allowed to stare." JJ countered, not at all ashamed of her leering.
Emily chortled and shook her head slowly, "Do you have sexy women in your bed often, Jennifer?"
The blonde stalked across the room, her foot kicking the door shut before climbing on top of the bed and hovering over the doctor. "All the time," JJ teased, trying to keep from laughing at the narrow eyed look she was receiving.
Not one to be teased, Emily decided to give as good as she was getting. "And here I thought I was the only one who could hold the captivating Jennifer Jareau's interest," her words were punctuated by two hands placed firmly on the blonde's hip, her thumbs sneaking under the fabric and rubbing the tender flesh.
JJ shivered at the sensation of Emily's hands on her body, "There are a lot of things about you that catch my interest," she drawled huskily, her eyes openly sweeping down Emily's prone form.
With her patented smirk, Emily tightened her grip on JJ's waist and quickly flipped their positions, effectively pinning the blonde to the bed beneath her.
Suddenly, the playful atmosphere quickly fizzled into one of a much more serious nature. Emily could only stare at JJ, the thoughts from her time alone with Henry rushing to the front of her mind, rendering her unable to continue with their flirty repartee.
The doctor's chocolate brown eyes were suddenly uncharacteristically expressive and open, the steadiness of her gaze making JJ's heart pick up speed.
"Em?" JJ asked quietly, her hand gently brushing the hair away from Emily's face.
Without another word, Emily leaned forward and pressed their lips lightly together, the kiss acting as the reassurance that the doctor needed to say what had been on her mind for days now. Before the kiss could deepen or take things in a different direction, Emily pulled away slightly, taking a deep and calming breath.
JJ's eyes darted back and forth, trying to get a read on what had Emily so pensive and coming up with nothing but a swell of unnamed emotion swirling in Emily's brown eyes.
Slowly, Emily cupped JJ's face, her thumb stroking along her cheek, "I missed you," she said delicately, her eyes never disconnecting the intense connection made with JJ's baby blues.
"I missed you too," JJ responded in the same tone, the words 'I love you' perched on the tip of her tongue.
"More than I thought was ever possible," Emily continued, her body pressing lightly on JJ's as the words tumbled from her lips. "Relationships used to scare the hell out of me," she confessed quickly, not wanting JJ to get hung up on that little factoid. "I avoided them like the plague because I never thought I brought much to the table; I thought I was like my mother in that regard and incapable of really committing myself. I'm ashamed to say that Pre-Jennifer Jareau, I was extremely fickle; stability was something I just couldn't handle, for reasons that are probably best discussed at a later date."
Emily took another steadying breath, wishing her thoughts were coming out correctly and imagining that no, they were not. "I'm not saying this right." The doctor said aloud, her head shaking in disappointment as she tried to mentally regroup. "What I mean to say is that before you and before Henry, I was a ghost. I liked that I existed but at the same time, didn't. And then I went to the park one day and suddenly, being a ghost and just blending into the background didn't seem like such a smart idea."
"Emily," JJ interjected, her eyes softening as a small smile tugged at her lips.
"No, just let me get this out," the doctor insisted, wanting to bare her soul now before she had a chance to retreat behind her defenses. "I met you and Henry and everything…well, if I'm being honest, you two threw everything in my life off balance. Actually, it's still like that." She looked thoughtful for a moment before pushing onward. "I got to know you both and it didn't take long for me to realize that I was slowly but surely being put under your spell, and now I know that struggling is a futile effort on my part. Because while you were gone, I was sitting here and I couldn't think of a better place to be than here babysitting Henry and waiting for you to get back."
Deciding to bite the bullet, Emily smiled nervously and resisted the urge to pull away from the blonde. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say and failing miserably at, is that I'm am ridiculously in love with you Jennifer. I don't know when it happened or how, but I have without a doubt fallen for you."
JJ could only stare in surprise and shock at the raven haired woman above her, the words slowly seeping into her brain. It wasn't until Emily started to pull away that her hand shot forward and hooked around the doctor's neck. Without a second thought, she pulled the other woman down and kissed her for all she was worth.
When the need for oxygen made itself known, they pulled apart, but only long enough for JJ to say, "I love you too, Emily."
Despite the fact that Emily had beaten her to the punch and declared her love first, JJ was pretty sure that she couldn't have topped Emily's speech if she tried. It was unrestrained and honest and a little disjointed, but it was true to form, Emily Prentiss.
So JJ was content to just bask in the declarations and appreciate the step forward in their relationship. Of course, she was also willing to admit that she was looking forward to physically showing how much she loved Emily as much as she was about voicing it. And JJ planned to show it for a very very long time.
