Bella's pov
There is a point in your life when you wished nothing had changed. For me that point was now. It was the moment I was seeing my fiancé getting buried. I felt guilty, I felt dirty and very filthy. I felt Esme's gaze on me. I felt Alice's gaze on me. Then it was Rosalie's, Emmett's. Actually, I could feel everyone's gaze on me but the one which hurt the most was his gaze.
A new river of tears start running from my eyes and a new wave of sobs got out of my mouth. I didn't only lose Jake but Edward, too. He told me that because of what we were doing Jake lost his life, because of what we were feeling. It's such a shame because we did nothing wrong or felt. Love must be pure, real and right and not sinner, fake and wrong. We didn't sinned because we felt in love but he believes the exactly opposite and I'm not going to change his mind if he doesn't want it.
"He was always a good man that was never meant to live his life as he had planned. And that something that I'll be thinking when I would live mine." With that Edward finished his speech. You could hear from his voice in how much pain he was in. I wanted to wrap my arms around him like I did the night he came at me. I want to comfort him and tell him that everything is going be alright. I took my eyes from the ground and I met his green once.
Some much regret was in it, although you could see the love inside of them.
*Flashback*
It was two nights before Jacob's funeral, since Edward came back I have returned at my father's house. It's kind of frustrating because I don't have my old room and any space here. You see, after I left the house and dad married Sue her children got more comfortable with the house and changed it a little bit to their liking. Actually, I don't care, I like the way they changed it. It's friendlier.
Also, since I came back to my house Edward hasn't talked to me at all. Every time I go to Cullen's house Alice says that he is out with friends or with Jacob's sister Rachel. I absolutely hated her for spending so much time with him. He supposed to be in love with me and not her. He has been here already two days and three nights but still he hasn't come to visit me.
It was raining outside, like it normal does at Forks. Also, the whole town was mourning for Jacob's and Embry's lost. two great guys who gave up their life at the war. Everyone here looked Edward, Emmett and Jasper with such a pride and indifference, like they weren't in the war but in a vacation at Hawaii. I want to punch them, I really do.
As I was lost to my thoughts, I heard something hitting the window. I walked and looked out. Edward was there and he was wet and cold. I grabbed a towel and I ran out of the house without caring about me getting wet.
"What the heck Edward? You're going to catch a cold." I said as I wrapped the towel around him. "You really found the right time to come and see me." I said and rubbed the towel on him.
"I hadn't found the courage to come and talk to you until now, Isabella." Oh no. something is bad. He only calls me Isabella when we have to be formal.
"Edward cut the crap, now. What it's going on?" I asked him as I walked us at my house porch. "We can't be together, Bella. That's brought us to this mess. Our feelings did." He said as he took off the towel.
"Edward, don't. Don't do it." I pleaded him but he shook his head. "When I'll come back I'll marry Rachel like my parents want me to. I'm going to make my best friend happy and not sad and mad at me. Our love is forbidden, Bella." I couldn't take it no more. I slapped him, hard, on the face.
"Forbidden? Are you playing with me? If you truly loved me, you wouldn't do this. You would have fight for me. But you're pathetic. You wanted me only because Jacob had me and now he is out of the picture I'm too. Have a good life, Edward Cullen." I said and turned to walk away. But he stopped me; he turned me around and pressed his lips on mine, firmly.
I couldn't stop myself, I kissed him back but it was soon over. "Have a good life, Isabella Swan." Then he was the one who walked away.
*End of Flashback*
"Sweetheart, are you alright?" my dad asked me as we walked out of the cemetery. I shook my head and he took me in his embrace. "Shh, everything is alright." He tried to comfort me with soft words, but nothing was alright. I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell but I kept my mouth shut. I only let the tears escape before my big breakdown. Without understanding it, I felt down and everything went dark.
Edward's pov
It fucking hurt seeing her like this. When her brown eyes looked into mine, regret hit me. I was a part of her mess. I love her with all my heart and that love made me promise to never hurt her. Although, I broke that promise. I hurt her, I could sense it in the air, I could see it in her eyes, and I tasted it in her lips when I kissed her. Kissed her. I was an asshole at that point to the three of us, Me, Bella and Jake, but it was impossible not to.
As the ceremony ended, we started walking out of the cemetery towards our cars. I felt an arm wrapped around me. I turned to see my sister. "I'm so sorry, brother." She said and I kissed her softly on her forehead. "I am, too." I replied.
"Bella!" we heard Charlie yelling at some point. We turned to see a Bella lying down with Charlie's arms around her. Immediately, I let Alice and ran towards him. "What happened?" I asked him as I took her in my arms.
"I don't know! She was up and then down! All happened so quickly!" he yelled in his panic. I place her head in on my arm and tried to wake her up. "Does any one have some water?" I asked with anger. Everybody was just standing there looking at her.
I got her up in a bridal style and started walking towards our car. My father was already in when I got in and asked him to take us in our house. "Is she going to be ok?" my mother asked from the front. "I guess so, mum. Maybe all the pressure came in today." I replied while I looked down at my angel. Just wake up, love. Just wake up and I'll take everything back. I'll be yours forever. Just wake up.
It's small guys and I don't update often but at least you can understand what's going on. I hope I get the opportunity to update soon and there is a new story that I work on and I hope it will be out soon.
