Chapter 11

Kazy's POV

I'd been awake for about an hour now. I talked with everyone and Dom told me everything. The doctor came in and explained I cracked a rib and had a concussion. The cut on my face would heel along with the bruises. The only person I hadn't seen was Rome but Mia explained that he never left Ash's room or hallway for that matter. It stung a little but I understood it. What really hurt was when Dom was talking to the doctor.

"Why did it take her so much longer to wake up than Ash? The injuries seem similar to me," Dom asked.

"Well Miss. Cartel has a much more serious concussion so in all actuality she should have been out longer than Miss. O'Conner but some people are just stronger than others. There is no medical term I can give you but Miss. Cartel is a fighter and Miss. O'Conner seems to have a harder time handling pain. Her recovery is right on track though. Miss. Cartel just fights against the pain and injury. It's actually amazing," the doctor replied. Dom just nodded and the doctor left.

"How are you feeling now?" Dom asked sitting next to me.

"Stupid," I admitted. Dom laughed and it made me feel better. The rest of the team went home to sleep or get food now that I had finally woken up.

"That's not what I meant," he clarified.

"My head hurts but my ribs are killing me every time I breathe too deep," I sighed. "I can't believe the doctor thinks Ash is stronger than me."

"Kazy if I tell you something I need you to understand I'm not trying to hurt you I'm trying to be honest with you and help you," he said putting his hand on my leg.

"I get the feeling I'm not going to want to hear this but okay," I agreed.

"You had a rough childhood, growing up with an abusive dad and having your parents divorced. Brian and you didn't get along and I understand how hard things were for you, but how did you handle things?" he asked trying to be gentle.

"I ran away," I replied confused.

"You went to live with Governor Howard who took you in and loved you and gave you whatever you wanted even though you didn't take any of it he took care of you. When you left and started racing all over where did you live?" he asked.

"I would live with friends or guys I was dating," I said still not sure where he was going with this.

"I know you don't see it like this but you always depended on other people, not because you needed them for money or food or a place to live but that's just something you need. You need other people around because you are scared otherwise. You are scared of pain and having to handle it alone you are not a fighter," Dom explained. I was going to argue but I wanted to think about it. He did seem to be right. I knew I had a need for people, that's why I had a really hard time sleeping alone.

"Alright," I agreed simply still thinking about how my life reflected what Dom had just said.

"I think you should know some things about Ash," he continued. I really didn't want to hear that but agreed anyway. "Around thirteen her dad killed her mother," he said lowering his tone. That was not the first thing I expected him to say.

"I never knew that," I whispered.

"What she doesn't tell most people is that she and Vince were forced to watch. Their father tied them to chairs and they watch it happen. She was barley a teen, Vince was legal but can you imagine what that was like? Then she as raised by Vince. He was so hard on her you can't imagine. They fought all the time; she was alone at nights while he raced and drank. Every time her grades slipped or she brought a boy home he locked her in her room. He loves her but he had no idea how to raise a teenager he was just one himself," Dom continued. It was hard to listen to and even harder to imagine.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Well once she graduated high school Vince shipped her off to Boston College that summer. She didn't want to go, begged him to let her stay and go to school locally but he refused because Boston had better academics or some shit like that. She was all alone in a random place that she didn't want to be in. Then she comes back here finally and gets all mixed up with this team, things were bad between them for awhile. She dated a rival team and ended up being kidnapped and physically assaulted. And then things got really bad and everyone she had learned to trust left her. Ash is a fighter because life keeps throwing hits her ways, that's why I tried to be so easy on her when we first got here."

"What changed then? Why did you suddenly make the power play and start backing me?" I asked barley able to speak.

"I saw how hard it was on you and knew Ash could handle it but you couldn't. I am always going to take your side, Ash can handle the hard times for now."

"Dom I could have handled it. I was angry because I thought you were choosing her over me like everyone else seemed too. It was hard watching my brother take her side over mine," I said sharply.

"Brian loves her like I've never seen him care about anyone but Mia. I honestly don't know where the strong bond comes from but you shouldn't take it personally, he loves you too," Dom said squeezing my hand. "I love you." There was so much to think about and take in.

"Can you get Brian?" I asked. Dom nodded and left to get him. I had no idea how I felt. I didn't like the idea that Dom thought I was weak but he made a good case proving I was. I felt horrible for Ash what a terrible life. No wonder she was so angry, I don't know if I could have survived that. I wasn't strong enough to handle that much shit but does that make me weak? Dom walked back in almost ten minutes later.

"Brian's visiting with Ash. He's the first visitor she has allowed and the doctor is not letting more than one person in to see her," he explained.

"Can you leave me alone?" I asked. It came out harsher than I meant it but didn't have the energy to take it back.

"Kaz you don't have to prove you can handle being alone," he replied.

"I'm not proving anything; I just have a severe headache and want to think. I really do appreciate everything you told me but now I just need to think and having you here won't help. Just go home, sleep, and eat anything. I promise I just need some time," I explained. "I love you." He nodded and kissed me before leaving. He came back a few hours later and I was happy to see him… kinda. Brian still hadn't been in to see me since I had first woken up but Mia and Vince had. Rome finally came to see me and he made me laugh like always.

"Do you want to be with me?" I blurted out in the silence. Dom looked over at me and seemed shocked.

"What?" he asked.

"From everything you told me and the way you talk about Ash it really seems like you want and should be with Ash," I said.

"You want me to be with Ash?" he asked.

"Of course not but I don't want you to be with me because you don't think I can handle it. I'm stronger than everyone seems to think."

"Ever since we got to L.A you have changed. You used to be fun and crazy for life. Going after things you loved and not letting anyone slow you down. Now you seem to hate everyone and are just in bitch mode all the time. You have any idea how hard it is being around you when you act like this?" he asked becoming harsh.

"What if this is the new me? Ash changed maybe I did too," I said. I really wished I could sit up and not look so damn fragile but my point was seemingly there. I saw the frustration and the anger.

"If this is the new you then I don't want any part of it."

"Okay," I replied simply. He didn't really seem to know how to react. After an awkward moment he left. Didn't say anything, he just left. Dom hadn't walked out on me but it hurt. I now understood just how hard it was to watch someone you love walk out without a word. Brain walked in a little later with a huge grin on his face.

"There's my baby sister," he said. "Glad to see you are finally awake." He came over and gave me an awkward hug.

"Where have you been?" I asked. I was being light about it; I didn't want to be a bitch right now with Brian.

"Ash needed to talk and I was her first allowed visitor so I didn't want to rush her. I knew you were strong enough to survive without me," he said with another smile.

"You think I'm strong?" I asked.

"Hell yeah your on O'Conner. You are one of the strongest people out there. All the shit you went through. Yeah you have a hard time sometimes but when push comes to shove you can handle yourself," he said confidently.

Brian thought I was strong and Dom thought I was weak that said a lot

So I realize this has kinda been all about Ash, so that will be changing more so it's more even for Kazy because she should get her share. Also thank you for the great reviews they are very helpful with suggestions! Keep up the reviews and thanks for reading.