AN: This got out of hand.
Cora
Suffolk House, London – November 1906
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Sam. She still needs one more Christmas present for Sam. Her son has a fascination for cars but of course she cannot buy him a car, it would be far too dangerous. Although she supposes that they are becoming safer. She could buy him a book about cars and maybe she could find a model somewhere. Sometimes she curses herself for insisting on doing all her Christmas shopping herself.
She wonders if she will get anything at all from Sam. The boy is busy at Eton and still very mad at her. He had hoped that they would spend Christmas in New York but she stoically refused. She does not think it would be a good idea. She knows that Sam does not particularly enjoy going to Eton and the boy had hoped to be allowed to miss another term, just as he did at the beginning of the year when they were still in New York. During the few months they spent in New York, Sam also started to speak with an American accent, something she told him he should not do.
"But Mama, why not? You speak with an American accent too. And so does Henry."
"Henry and I are American, you are English. You are a duke. And don't argue," she told him and Sam really hadn't argued but he hasn't stopped speaking in an American accent either.
As soon as they had returned to England, she had sent him back school and hoped that by summer he would have dropped the accent. While it had become a little less pronounced, it was still there and as far as she knows, that hasn't changed. She wonders if she should talk to Sam about this again but then decides not to do so. Her objecting would probably not be helpful.
She decides to go home and look for a present for Sam another time.
Once she is in her own room again, she asks Sully for a cup of tea and the evening paper. She does not want to do anything besides reading and sitting in her room before dinner, but when she opens the paper, she nearly drops the tea into her lap.
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Earl dies in riding accident on his estate
The Earl of Grantham died in a riding accident on his estate late last night. Why the Earl went riding out so late is unknown. He is succeeded by his son Robert, the Viscount Downton who does not want to use his father's title until after the funeral ceremony to be held three days from now.
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She does not continue to read the article, there is no reason to do so, there is only one thing to do and that is to plan a trip to Downton. She will have to stay at a hotel in York the night before the funeral as she does not see any possibility for her to actually stay at Downton Abbey. She could probably pay her respects the day before the funeral and mention how uncomfortable it would be to travel all the way back to York just for one night, but she would impose on a grieving family.
She is sure there will be guests at the Abbey the night before the funeral but she does not want to be one of them. Robert loved his father dearly and will be devastated. If she were to stay in his house, it would probably make him feel much more uncomfortable than he already feels. She will attend the funeral service, when she gives her condolences to the family she will in all likelihood be asked to the Abbey for supper along with a string of other guests and then she will leave again. She knows it won't be a lot of comfort for Robert, but hopefully some. She hopes that it will comfort him to know that she was there, even if she can't be there for him.
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When she sits on the train to York one and a half days later the rumbling of the wheels on the tracks puts her into a state of half-sleep and the fateful night from January that year that she feels changed her life replays itself in her mind.
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"So this is it then?" Robert asks. "The end of something that has lasted more than a decade?" She nods again because she does not trust herself to speak.
"Goodbye then, Cora," Robert says "and such good luck." He then takes her hand and squeezes it once. She wonders if this was Robert's way of saying 'I love you'. How much she would like to kiss him in this moment. But they are in a public room and she is about to accept another man's proposal.
"If we weren't in a public room, I'd kiss you one more time," Robert mumbles, kisses her hand, turns around and leaves.
The wheels in her head are set in motion now. She wants to marry Henry, she wants a relationship that leads somewhere, a relationship she does not have to hide, a father for Sam. But watching Robert leave feels as if it was love that was leaving her and she knows that she does not love Henry. Not as passionately as she loves Robert. She has no idea what to do, she cannot think clearly anymore.
When Robert touches the door handle, when he is about to open the door, when he is about to leave her, she takes a deep breath.
"Robert," she says and he turns around.
She walks towards him, tears running down her face and she sees Robert letting go of the door handle through a blurry curtain.
"What?" he asks when he fully turns towards her and she just stares at him.
"I,I," she stammers and she doesn't get any further. All she wants is for Robert to come towards her, to put his arms around her, to tell her that everything is alright and that he does not want her to marry Henry Fincher.
"Cora, you have just told me that you are going to marry another man. You have to explain to me what you want," he says to her instead and she supposes she deserves the coldness in his voice. But he does not move away when she grabs his hands. Before she starts to talk she stares at them. She has held those hand thousands of times. She lets her thumbs glide over Robert's knuckles. He always brushes those knuckles over her face. She loves it when he does that. And if she does not speak up now, she will regret it forever.
"Robert, you said you had no right to object to me marrying another man. What would you say if I gave you permission to object?"
"What?" he asks and there is so much hope in his voice that it almost breaks her heart. How much must he love her?
"Robert, after what we've been through, I think you deserve the right to object. You once wrote to me that you had no claim on me besides that of your heart but isn't that the most important one? At least for us? So if I were to give you permission to object, what would you do?"
Robert shakes his head, looks around himself, looks at the floor and then straight into her eyes.
"I'd beg you not to marry anyone else. I love you, I will always love you and if you were married to someone else I know I could never see you again. I wouldn't just lose my mistress, I'd lose my best friend, the person I trust the most, the only person I can say everything to that is on my mind, I'd lose the love my life. So I would object very strongly to you marrying someone else."
She has to chuckle at this. It is inappropriate because Robert has just called her the love his life and she laughs but he also called her his mistress.
"Robert, isn't it strange that I prefer to be your mistress over being someone else's wife?"
Robert now smiles a very small smile. One that displays hope but not yet certainty.
"Do you really?"
She nods.
"The only thing I would like better would be to be your wife. And I once told you to 'never say never' and if I am to believe my own words, I should not throw obstacles in our way. And I don't think I could live without you. Because you are the love of my life."
There is a commotion in the hall then and Robert lets go off her hands.
"Thank you, duchess," he says out loud. "I'll find my way out." He smiles at her one last time and leaves.
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.
"Your grace?" the conductor says and she looks up. "I apologize," the man continues but she shakes her head.
"There is no need to apologize. I was lost in my thoughts."
"The next stop will be York."
"Thank you," she says and she really is thankful in that moment. If she hadn't been shaken out of her reverie, she probably would have dwelled on how she had to decline Henry's proposal.
When she told him not ask what he was about to ask because she was about to say no, Henry asked her outright if she was in love with someone else. She denied it, what else could she have done, but she is sure that Henry did not believe. He was very disappointed and to this day he hasn't spoken to either or Harold. Or written to Sam. Her son had been very disappointed when he had heard that she would not marry Henry after all and quite opposed to his usual behavior he had begun to pry but thankfully given up on that two weeks later. Although it has let her to the question what she should say in the event that Sam asked her again in ten or fifteen years. She hates lying to her son.
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She leaves the hotel early next morning and asks to be taken to the Downton village church directly. She wouldn't know where else to go first and when they reach the church, she is glad that most guests seem to have arrived already and that she can just slip into the church and sit down in the second pew from the back.
She sees Robert sitting next to his mother, his back straight, his eyes in all likelihood directed to the front. She wonders for a brief moment whether Lady Grantham, now the Dowager Countess will recognize her but she doubts it very much. It has been 17 years and while they may have passed each other at the occasional ball during the London season they had both been invited to, they never so much as looked at each other again.
The service is as those services always are. The prince of the church talks about the earl's life, about God and life after death. She believes in those things and it was a comfort to her after her own father's death and she hopes that Robert will find some peace and closure through the funeral.
She watches on as Robert's father is lowered into the ground and realizes in that moment that she has just watched the love of her life turn from the Viscount Downton into the Earl of Grantham.
She briefly considers leaving without letting Robert see her but there is something that keeps her rooted to the spot. Maybe it is the cool air or the drizzling rain or the fact that is surrounded by people in black. The villagers leave the cemetery without looking at the family although some take slight glances and the aristocrats, those that have actually been invited, pay their respects.
She is shuffled into line with them, she probably cannot deny that she is not one of the villagers, but she manages to move to the end of the line at least. When it is her turn, she looks Robert straight into the eyes from beneath her hat and then closes her own eyes for two seconds. She knows he understood she was trying to say 'I love you,' by the nod that he gives her. He mumbles something about her joining the others for the funeral lunch and she wants to decline but then she hears someone whisper to Robert's wife "That is the Dowager Duchess of Suffolk." And she knows she cannot deny the invitation anymore.
So she says 'Yes' and 'thank you' and is ushered into her carriage that takes her Downton Abbey.
When she looks at the huge house with its towers, the Grantham flag flying at half mast, she realizes that for the first time in her life she is going to enter Robert's home. It seems to her as if something had been set in motion, as if from now on their lives would be intertwined more than just through one or two stolen nights a week.
The great hall strikes her with awe. It is so beautifully decorated but yet it looks like a place that people live in. Very rich people with a lot of servants, but there are people who bring this place to live every day. She is ushered into the drawing room, which she finds just as beautiful. This is a place that must be easy to call home.
"Are you interested in interior design?" a woman with red hair asks her and for a second she wonders who this is until she realizes that this must be Rosamund. She must have stared too much.
"Yes," she says and it isn't a lie. After the duke's death she redecorated the entire house. Not all at once, it took her three years, but it looks very different now. Rosamund and she talk a little about the room and the furniture and its history and just when she wants to ask wants when any changes had been done for the last time, she notices a young woman that can only be Mary being reprimanded for shedding a few tears in church. She has no doubt that the woman hissing at Mary is Robert's wife. She wants to slap her across the face.
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Rosamund
Downton Abbey – The Same Day
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"Who is she?" she hissed to her brother and pointed towards the mystery duchess when they returned to the Abbey.
"The Dowager Duchess of Suffolk," Robert hissed back and she frowned at that.
"Dowager?" she asked and Robert whispered something about an 'early death years ago' she did not understand for a moment but then several things fell into place. Of course she remembered who this was, the death of the Duke of Suffolk had been in each and every newspaper. He had died in a carriage race, leaving behind his wife, an American he married for her money. The American that Robert had considered marrying before he found an English woman with enough money. She wondered what this woman is doing at her father's funeral and decided to find out.
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She has now been talking to the Duchess for some time and can't help but think that she is a very nice woman and that she would have been the much better choice as a wife for Robert. His actual wife is standing in a corner with Mary, hissing at her about Mary's 'misbehaviour' during the funeral service. All the girl did was shed a few tears and who could blame her for that? She loved her grandfather with all her heart. Rosamund thinks that those tears only showed that Mary is a person capable of love. She sees that the duchess is staring into that corner as well.
"Lady Mary is a beautiful young woman," the duchess says and Rosamund immediately wonders whether the duchess is match making.
"Yes. How old is your son again?" she asks and the look of utter confusion on the duchess' face tells her that match making was not on her mind.
"He is younger than Lady Mary but not much. About one and a half years." She wonders how the duchess knows Mary's exact age, but then again she may have just guessed. But she wants to find out and just when she is about to ask about this, the duchess continues to speak.
"I gather Lady Mary does not get along very well with her mother." Nothing could be more obvious than this and so Rosamund just says
"No." What else should she say? There is no point denying it.
"Maybe I should rescue her," the duchess says, looks at her and then says "excuse me, Lady Rosamund." She stares in fascination as the duchess walks towards Mary and Phillipa, involves Phillipa in a very short conversation that very obviously included the words 'my son' and 'like to see the gardens'. Less than ten minutes later Mary and the duchess can be seen through the French windows, walking along Mary's favorite path.
She then notices her brother staring out the window, watching his daughter and the duchess in fascination with such a loving look on his face that Rosamund knows that the duchess is here for one reason only. To support Robert. And despite her grief about losing her father or maybe because of it, she decides there and then to confront Robert. And to become his ally. She has always suspected that their father knew more about Robert's affair than he let on and she supposes that Robert may need some help.
Her little brother, that little boy who used to hide her dolls and play 'tea party' with her, is now the Earl of Grantham and he deserves every help she is able to give to him. So she walks towards him and looks at Mary and the duchess as well, then looks around to make sure that they cannot be overheard.
"The duchess is very nice," she says and Robert says "Yes."
"When Mama asks about her, I will tell her that the duchess and I have become friends recently and that she came here as a kindness to me. So either you or I have to get her on her own before she meets Mama again. To tell about this story."
Robert just stares at her. So Rosamund continue to speak.
"Maybe you should follow them outside and send Mary back inside before you return. I am sure you can find a reason for sending her away. You only need two or three minutes with your duchess."
Robert keeps staring at her but then he slowly nods and says "come to my room after I've gone upstairs tonight. You deserve an explanation."
She nods, squeezes Robert arm once, takes a deep breath, walks towards Phillipa and involves her in a conversation about fashion. Quite the wrong topic considering that her father has just been buried but it is something that Phillipa likes to talk about and so it is quite the right topic to let Robert slip outside without his wife noticing.
She only hopes that their mother hasn't noticed anything either. But her mother is sitting on the sofa, staring into the fire, an expression of emptiness on her face that quite clearly says that the Dowager Countess of Grantham has no idea what is going on around her. And that she does not care, not right now.
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Mary
Outside of Downton Abbey – The same day
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She feels strange, so very strange, walking next to a duchess she has never met. She is sure this woman is match making, her mother whispered something about 'a son the right age' and then told her to stand up straight and almost pushed her towards the duchess when she asked to be shown the gardens. For the past few minutes they have said nothing but small talk, but the duchess now looks as if she was stealing herself to say something of more relevance.
"Lady Mary, please accept my apologies. I did not want to pry you away from your grief. I only thought that you needed a breath of fresh air away from," and the duchess stops and shakes her head.
"Away from my mother. Thank you duchess," she says because she knows that it is obvious that she and her mother do not get along.
"You are welcome," the duchess and looks at the house. "This is a beautiful house," she says and Mary nods. She is usually shy when she meets people she doesn't know or doesn't know well but for some reason she trusts this woman and so she begins to tell her about the house's history.
"Your knowledge of the history of this house is impressive," the duchess says and Mary replies
"I am very proud of my ancestry. Not my mother, but my father and my grandparents. My grandfather was a very good man and so is my father. My grandmother may not seem very nice but she has a heart of gold." She doesn't know why she talks to the duchess about this. It is not of her business, she has never met this woman but she can't help trusting her. She feels as if the duchess knew things about her or understood her without needing detailed explanations.
"Yes," the duchess says and nothing else.
And then she has to cry. She doesn't know why, but she can't stop her tears from falling. She tried to be strong and brave, for her father and her grandmother and her aunt. They did not need to worry about her crying her eyes out. And then during the funeral service her mother kept hissing at her to not show any 'pathetic emotions' and because she did not want to cause a scene, she bit her lip and only let three tears escape. But now the floodgates have opened and she is embarrassing herself and the duchess, a woman who ranks far above her.
But instead of walking away or turning away or pretending to not notice or to tell her to control her emotions, the duchess just looks at her, puts her arms around and says
"Oh, Mary. Just cry. Just cry. It helps and we won't tell anyone." It makes her cry even more and although she does not know this woman, has never met her before, for the first time in her life, she feels as if she had a mother.
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Robert
Outside of Downton Abbey – The same day
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He walks down Mary's favorite path swiftly to catch up with his daughter and Cora. As soon as he is in ear shot of them, he hears Mary sobbing. The girl has not cried once since the death of her beloved grandfather, at least not to his knowledge. He had wondered whether she was turning into her cold-hearted mother but now he realizes that all that Mary did was being strong. He is so very proud of this young woman and just as he wants to call out her name, he sees Mary crash into Cora and he hears Cora say "Oh, Mary. Just cry. Just cry. It helps and we won't tell anyone."
Cora seems to have gained Mary's trust within half an hour and he wonders if his strict rule concerning Cora and Mary and Cora and Rosamund never meeting had really been such a good rule.
After he returned from the war, Cora asked him if he still wanted her to become friends with Rosamund but he said no. That had only been something he would have wanted Cora to do had he died. But he thought that as long as Cora's and his affair went on there should be no further contact between Cora and his family. He thought it was too dangerous.
But now Rosamund has guessed the truth and Mary seems to like Cora and he wonders if a friendship between Rosamund and Cora wouldn't be a good thing.
"Heavens, that girl. She cannot go through a day without embarrassing me." He turns to his right and sees Phillippa standing next to him. He did not hear her approach.
"The duchess doesn't look very embarrassed," he replies and he knows that Cora is not embarrassed. She only wants to help.
"But I very much doubt that she will want Mary to marry her son now."
"How do you know that?" he asks and Phillippa laughs her typical high pitched laugh that always causes him to want to run away.
"I am a mother too, Robert," she says and he asks "Are you?"
"Mary!" his wife then calls out and he sees how Mary instinctively ducks. He also sees Cora letting go off her and turning towards his wife. If looks could kill, he'd have another funeral to attend.
Cora now gently nudges Mary and whispers something to her. He hopes that Phillippa addresses Cora first and so she does but not the way that Robert hoped she would.
"I apologize, duchess, for my daughter's inexcusable behavior," Phillippa says and Mary hangs her head. He wishes she wouldn't, there is nothing she should be ashamed of.
"There is no need to apologize, Lady Grantham. I asked Lady Mary a very personal question about her grandfather and I am afraid I should not have done that. So it is I who should apologize. I assure you, Lady Mary has done nothing wrong. In fact she has quite impressed me with her knowledge of the history of this house and her family."
He thought he couldn't love Cora any more than he already did. That moment months ago when she gave him permission to object to her marrying someone else, he had thought that that was it, that it was not possible to love anyone more than he loved her in that moment. But once again she has proven him wrong.
"Well, that is at least something," his wife says and Cora replies "I think it is quite a lot."
"If you knew my daughter, you'd know it was only something," Phillippa replies and he cannot believe it. This woman wants Mary to be the next Duchess of Suffolk. How could she say something like this to the Duke's mother?
"Lady Grantham, I think you give your daughter too little credit. She is a very nice young woman. Although I understand your predicament of course. I sometimes have difficulties to think of my son as the young man he is turning into rather than the three year old toddler he once was." He could kiss Cora just for this but she seems to have provoked Phillippa.
"I see," his wife says and he sees that she is throwing caution to the wind, that her temper is getting the better of her and lets her forget all match making plans. She then turns to him and says
"Well Robert, after that sentimental outburst I am sure you are relieved that you slighted her for me. She is the American that you thought about proposing to, isn't she? Well, she is as dimwitted as I thought and I dare to say that her son isn't much better than her."
Smack.
Phillippa stands frozen to the spot and so does he. Cora has just punched Phillippa right into her face and looks a little flabbergasted herself and there is a wide grin spreading on Mary's face. Cora is the first to get back to her senses and she steps towards Phillippa.
"I urge you to say that you ran into the door because I have a story about you and a certain Mr. Jenkins I would not want to have published if I were you. And as you so aptly pointed out, I am an American. I like profit. And believe me, no matter what story you tell about me, I will profit from your story. It is good, so very good, that everyone will think that this punch was very well deserved. And now I suggest you put some ice onto your face. That door must have been very hard."
Phillippa storms off and Mary has trouble keeping her laughter at bay. He has no idea what to say or do. This is all so very inappropriate, especially on the day of his father's funeral.
"You throw quite the punch," he says to Cora because it is the only thing that comes to his mind.
"Well," Cora says, "my older brother and I weren't the best of friends when we were younger and he was good at boxing. I learned a few lessons."
He wants to kiss her. So he sends Mary ahead who doesn't leave without having thanked the duchess profoundly at first. Once she is out of earshot he turns to Cora and says
"Thank you for coming."
He then explains about Rosamund and she nods in agreement.
"Let's both be in search of a good book at midnight," Cora replies and very briefly squeezes his hand.
AN: First of all, thank you for all the reviews! I am sorry I did not get around to answering them all personally, but I just managed to finish writing this chapter.
Anyway, I hope the Cora punching Phillippa thing was not overdone. I am absolutely not sure about it, but I thought that something drastic had to happen when they met. And I wanted Mary to have a reason to believe that Cora was on her side. This will become important later on.
Please let me know how you liked this chapter!
Have a good day everyone,
Kat
