The Macarena

"Sooooooo booooorrrrrred," Fixit whined, spinning on his stool. The mech had modified the seat to spin specifically to annoy Knockout, which amused Breakdown to no end. It was so entertaining to watch his partner and his Apprentice constantly try to one-up the other, whether it be through banter or pranks. Knockout had just successfully pulled off a prank (no one on the Nemesis would ever be able to look at whipped cream the same way ever again), so that meant it was Fixit's turn to pull a prank. And while KO might be pretty creative, he had nothing on Fixit. (Mentioning anything to do with the human tradition of Valentine's Day was forbidden. Everyone had enthusiastically approved that law- even Soundwave.)

"If you're that bored, go find something to entertain yourself wi- wait no, I didn't mean that!" Knockout cried in alarm, just realizing what he had said. But he was too late, Fixit was already out the door, an excited "whoo!" echoing back to them.

"…we're so slagged," Breakdown whispered in horror.

"What have I done!?" Knockout wailed.


Fixit hadn't been seen in three cycles. By anyone.

Now, normally a drone not being seen for a couple of cycles wasn't usually a cause for concern. But this was Fixit. And Fixit disappearing- with Knockout's (unintentional) permission to pull a prank!- was a Very Bad Thing. The entirety of the Nemesis was on edge.

Starscream and Knockout had been organizing search parties almost non-stop since Fixit had vanished to try and stop the Eradicon before he could initiate his (evil, horrible) plans. The Seeker had almost considered ordering Soundwave back from the mines ahead of schedule, but production had already been behind schedule even before Fixit vanished, so he resigned himself to leaving Soundwave at the mine. So resigned, Starscream and Knockout had promptly begun panicking in earnest because there was no way in the Pit that they would be able to catch Fixit without Soundwave's help.

Breakdown was sure that after the fact (way, way after), this prank would undoubtedly be amusing. Fixit had learned from the Valentine's Day Incident (more commonly known as "The-Heart-Which-Shall-Never-Be-Spoken-Of-Again") what things were funny and what was just traumatizing. Mostly. It was possible this would be another trauma to add to the list, which was why Starscream and Knockout were freaking so badly.

And as it turned out, they were right to panic. Exhausted from all the panicking, everyone finally went into recharge six cycles after Fixit had disappeared. After all, if he hadn't done anything by now, surely he wasn't going to anything?

Oh, how wrong they were.

When Breakdown onlined his optics at the beginning of the next cycle, he was greeted by the sight of bright orange. He reset his optics just to be sure they were working correctly. Yep, still bright orange. Rolling over, he poked Knockout awake.

"Mrrph…what, Breaks?" the red mech said sleepily.

"Fixit has struck."

Knockout lay there for a moment longer before he actually processed what Breakdown had said. The moment he realized, he shot up from the berth, his optics widening in horror at their surroundings.


"Make it stop!" one of the Vehicons wailed, servos over its audios. Nobody heard him over the blaring disco music.

Fixit had somehow managed to, in one cycle, without anyone catching him:

1. Paint the entirety of the Nemesis' interior bright neon orange.

2. Feed a virus into the ship that caused it to play human disco music non-stop.

3. Convert every floor on the Nemesis into a disco dance floor, complete with lights flashing in squares under their feet and a disco ball on every corner, so there wasn't one area not lit.

It was driving everyone out of their processors. The last time Breakdown had seen Starscream, the Seeker had been beating his helm against the wall repeatedly- in time with the music. Breakdown tactfully decided not to mention that little fact to the SIC.

Knockout was stalking the halls, revving his saw with a manic grin on his face. Breakdown trailed behind him, careful not to attract his attention, but ready to step in if the medic decided to randomly attack somebot.

And then suddenly, the music stopped. Everyone froze. Was it over? But alas, the music started up again…only this time, it was one song- on repeat. Knockout snarled in frustration as he vowed to offline his Apprentice the next time he saw him.

Breakdown twitched, also irritated. What the slag was a "Macarena?"


A/N: Excerpt from Fixit (Chapter 9).

Set before the beginning of TF: Prime.