Chapter Ten-
I'm coming down
Bring me up
Take it off
Let's just Touch
Nessie's POV:
I woke to see Rose sitting on the computer chair I had in my room, she was messing with my computer. My eyes felt dry, and my throat was sore. I sat up for a second trying to remember what had happened to make me feel this way.
But of course how could I have forgotten.
I fell back against my pillows, my eyes becoming watery again.
I missed Jake, Seth and my mom. They'd been gone three weeks. And dealing with Billy's death without them wasn't easy for me at all.
Three weeks of tears, and trying to go to school and forgot all the horrible details. Id been able to make it through my days, quietly though. Sarah seemed to understand and just let me be quiet. And the second id get in the car with Rose I'd breakdown in tears again.
In a house full of vampires and shifters, death wasn't a subject talked about a lot, it wasn't a worry to them.
My mom and dad had talked about dying a couple times, and I understood the reason of it, and I understood that it would be a sad thing to deal with.
But actually loosing someone you knew very well, and loved was a completely new set of unknowns. It wasn't just enough to understand the meaning of death, and to accept it.
My entire body ached with pains, and my eyes glossed anytime I looked to the pictures of Billy and Jacob on my wall, or even if I thought of Billy.
I could only imagine what pain Jake must have been going through. Billy was his dad. I'd really be out of my mind if I lost my dad.
"They'll be here in a couple hours, your father left to meet them at the airport, you feel any better?" Rose turned in the seat looking to me. I shook my head pulling the covers over my head. "Well Esme made you some food, and you didn't eat again last night, I'd hate to have Emmett and Jasper hold you down while we force you to eat."
"Fine, I'll eat," I mumbled as she pulled the covers down.
"It'll be easier once you have your mother back," she brushed her hand over my head. It'd be easier once I had Jake back.
I just wanted to hug him, and I knew that if he was dealing with it well, I'd be able to compose myself. Or at least Id hoped I could compose myself. I got out of bed slipping my flip-flops on, pulling my hair back into a messy bun. I didn't bother to change out of my tank and sweats.
I followed Rose downstairs; she sat next to me at the table. She barely left my side. And Uncle Jasper had to leave most of the time when I was around because the pain was too much for him. My dad gave me distance, which I begged for with my mind. Rose was the only one really who was any comfort.
Which im sure was strange since she hated Jacob, but she held me like my mom did so it was comforting. I half-smiled at Grandma as she placed the plate in front of me.
"Still building me a pool?" Uncle Emmett pushed me lightly before taking the seat on the other side of me. He was smiling of course.
"I think I already built you three," I looked down at my food.
"Dont let it get cold dear," Grandma kissed the top of my head. I pushed the food around a little bit before shoving a bite into my mouth. I finished the food, washing my plate, sitting back down at the table.
I jumped hearing the car door closed. I took in a deep breath taking in the scent of Jake. He was here, he was back; I was out of my seat and out the door in a second. I stood on the last step of the porch. He looked so broken.
His hands were, shoved into the pockets of his sweat pants. He didn't look up, though I knew he'd taken in my scent. I stepped into my mother's waiting arms. She kissed my head.
"My baby, ive missed you so much," she cupped my face kissing my forehead.
"I missed you too," she let my face go, taking my dad's hand heading inside. Leah was already half way to the guesthouse. Seth grinned, picking me up and twirling me, squeezing me tightly, "I missed you Seth."
"Video games later," he questioned. I nodded. He smiled, and took off to the guesthouse. I stepped closer to Jake. He was pushing the dirt back and forth with his foot.
"Oh Jake," I mumbled sliding my arms through his; I laid my head on his chest. I expected him to wrap his arms around me but he didn't move. His eyes were, closed and he had stiffened. I felt my eyes gloss with tears again.
"Ness please," he unlocked my arms from around him. I wasn't expecting this reaction out of him at all. He was so distant. It made me feel worse. We stood there for a few moments before he walked to his car getting in the driver seat.
"Can I go with you?" I questioned. I saw his head nod but he didn't look back at me. I ran over getting into the passenger seat. The silence was terrible.
He stopped in front of a grocery store; not one word as he got out and walked into the store; and not a word when he returned with two cases of some kind of drink.
I read the package realizing it was beer. I've never known Jake to drink. Grandpa and Billy had a couple beers when they watched sports and stuff but id never seen Jake pick up a can.
More silence as he drove again. He looked straight ahead at the road with a blank stare.
I almost jumped when he moved his hand to the backseat, not expecting him to make any kind of movement other then the ones he had to make driving the car. I heard the tearing of the cardboard. He set the glass bottle between his legs pulling off the cap, tossing it in the backseat, taking a gulp of the drink.
After the third one, he seemed to calm a little bit. We'd been driving for thirty minutes. And I had no clue where we were going, and I hadn't brought my cell phone or anything.
"Should you really be drinking all this?" I questioned. He took another gulp, not answering my question. I wasn't sure if I should stop him. I didn't know what kind of effect this stuff was gonna have on him.
I know it calmed Grandpa but I also knew that it made you do things you wouldn't normally do. It like blurred your mind, was the simple terms my mother used when she tried to explain why I couldnt have a sip of Grandpa's drink.
He'd finished the first case by the time we finally stopped. He grabbed the second and pushed opened the car door, walking into the forest that we'd stopped in front of. I quickly got out of the car following him. I had to make sure he didn't hurt himself.
I wondered if he'd been this way for the pass three weeks. And how much longer he would be like this.
I could feel the cold that had washed over his heart.
And see it in the way his body had stiffen.
He wasn't the same Jake.
And I was terrified that I'd lost my best friend.
He sat against a tree downing another bottle, more quickly then the others. I sat next to him, making sure not to touch him. He threw the bottle when he'd finished it. It crashed leaving an indent in the tree trunk.
"Jake if you leave broken glass out here someone could get hurt; I think you should stop," I was loosing worry, and fear was replacing the emotion. I was a whole other person smaller then Jake.
And in the state of mind he seemed to be in, I wasn't sure if he'd remember it was me, if he flipped out. I sat in silence with him, he didn't throw another bottle. So that was a plus, he placed them into the box.
Half way through the second box, I pulled the box away. And for the first time his eyes met mine.
They were his eyes in all physical senses, but the mind and emotions behind those eyes was not my Jake. "Im so worried about you, Jake this stuff isn't gonna help," He reached for the box; I placed my body in front of it, pushing it further back. He leaned forward against me, both of his hands on the ground holding him self-up.
I pressed my hand to his cheek. I let the images of the Jake I knew flood his mind, and then I showed him the Jake in front of me now. I'd learned to not use my power as much as I use to when I was younger, it was a control thing for myself so I could go to school and not mistakenly use my gift on a human.
I was use to saying my thoughts and feelings a loud unless there was no other way but to show the person.
I held my hand against his cheek, his glare locked with my stare.
And then he did something I never expected him to.
He leaned forward more so over me and pressed his lips against mine.
I was frozen; I didn't know how to react. Jake and I weren't anything but best friends.
Had he been feeling this way for me all along?
Or was it just the pain and booze clouding his mind.
I almost let my arm fall from holding me up. I liked the feeling of his lips against mine.
It was so weird to me.
I had no clue what I was doing, but this was the first reaction I'd gotten out of Jake since he'd returned. It was a form of emotion; I wasn't going to shove him away like he did me. If this is how he needed me to be then this is what I would be to him. I'd figure out the rest later.
I kissed him back. He growled at me, pushing my knees apart, kneeling between them. I let fell back on both of my elbows.
I'd seen enough movies to know where this was leading. I had to stop it.
I knew for sure now it was all that beer he'd drank. I could taste it in my mouth now it was a disgusting taste.
In the right mind set Jake wouldn't have kissed me, he thought of me as a kid. And we were nothing more then best friends.
I had to stop this. But I didn't want him to get mad, or hurt even more.
I pressed my hand against his cheek again, holding myself up with just my one arm. I flashed a million different movie scenes into his mind. Showing him where this was leading.
The best friends and drunken sex was never a good combo. He growled at me again.
And I was freaked out of my mind. I flashed the images quicker through his mind. "Jake." I whispered against his lips, "This isn't you, this isn't us," he backed away.
And when I thought things couldn't get worse, he buried his head in his hands and started to sob. "Jake." I pulled at his arm, moving myself onto my knees. He turned wrapping his arms tightly around me and laying his head on my chest. I cried with him. It was just too painful not to. I didn't know what to say in this moment; Id never seen Jake this way before.
So I held him and cried with him, hoping that he'd be okay. We sat there for the longest time. I brushed my hands through his hair like Rose and my dad had done with me. And then I remembered Rose's whisperings to me.
"It'll be okay, im here for you," I repeated her words to Jake. He pulled me closer to his body. He didn't move when his phone started to ring. I pulled it out of his pocket seeing my dad's name blink a crossed it, "Its my dad." He pulled away wiping his hand across his face. He grabbed the phone from me answering it.
"Edward." His voice hoarse; I heard my dad start to yell at him, "I lost track of time, I'll get her home," his voice still raspy as he answered, "A couple hours Edward, she'll be home," he listened to my dad for another second before hanging up the phone. He dropped it on the ground, pressing his palm against his forehead.
"Are you gonna be okay?" I watched him sigh before closing his eyes for a second. He shook his head. I quickly pulled him back into a hold.
