Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: this chapter just fell into place, probably because Steele and I were having far too much fun being evil LOL

A/N Steele Simz: Another update. I just want to say thank you for all the reviews and please check out my new story Red Pawn.

Anonymous Reviews:

Vice-Loser: LOL you still have some catching up to do, enjoy!

Anna: LOL no Lisbon didn't agree to give up her child, she isn't Rumplestiltskin but she did agree to trade her own life. But getting pregnant changed the whole game

Anonymous: LOL glad you enjoyed it, Steele insisted on a smut scene there LOL


Chapter 11: Truth Be Told

Jane had stayed in the kitchen avoiding her completely until she got up and headed to the kitchen. His back was to her when she entered the kitchen.

"I'm heading to bed," she told him softly. He didn't make a sound or movement. Lisbon sighed and bid him a goodnight before walking out, she stopped and picked up JJ before she headed upstairs. After placing JJ in his crib, she got ready for bed. As she crawled in between the sheets she could see the lights downstairs turn off, she hoped Jane would join her but deep down she knew that she would be alone for the night.

As she lay in bed she thought back to all of the days she had prayed to be in his arms again, to be held by him at night. Jane might run from some dangers while she went head first into them but at night she felt protected by him; being held captive had made her realize that much. She closed her eyes as her mind drift back to a night that she wished she could take back.

Lisbon was safely tucked against Jane side and sound asleep when she heard the shrill of her cell phone on the table. Reaching out a hand she blindly grabbed the phone, click the answer button and placed it against her ear.

"Hello?" Her voice was full of sleep and she wasn't sure the person on the other line had heard her until they finally spoke.

"It is time." A high-pitch familiar voice greeted her. Her eyes shot open just as she jumped causing a naked Jane to stir next to her.

"What is it?" He asked as he opened one eye to look at her.

Lisbon placed a hand over the phone and spoke to Jane. "Nothing, just go back to sleep okay."

"Mmh, okay." Jane muttered and fell back asleep. Getting out of bed she grabbed Jane's shirt before walking out of the room and quietly closed the door so Jane wouldn't hear her. She placed the phone down on the floor and slipped into Jane's shirt before picking the phone up again.

"It can't be time."

"It is."

"Please, just give me a little more time."

"That wasn't part of our arrangement, agent."

"I know but I'm giving up my life for him the least you can do is give me a little more time." Lisbon tried to bargain with him.

"This is not a negotiation. If you refuse to leave now then I will be force to take action."

"What are you talking about?" Lisbon asked confused.

"I will kill everyone you care about, starting with the person sharing your bed tonight," the high-pitch voiced warned.

Lisbon gasped and tore the phone away from her head before sliding down the hallway. She couldn't risk the lives of everyone around her. She felt the tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she brought the phone to her ear again. "What do you want me to do?"

"Meet me outside." He hung up the phone and Lisbon got to her feet. She went back into the room and in the dark grabbed some clothes then went to the bathroom and changed. After changing her clothes she made her way back into the bedroom and placed Jane's shirt on the bed then walked over to him. Leaning down she placed a kiss on his lips, he stirred briefly but didn't wake. She was grateful that she made him take a sleeping pill the night before in order for him to get some much needed sleep. She headed to the bedroom door and was about to walk out when she turned back and looked at the man sleeping in her bed.

"Forgive." She whispered than walked out of the room.

She made her way outside of her apartment and notice a car was idling in the parking lot. The car back windows have been tinted and she couldn't see through them. The front ones revealed a man who noticed her and got out of the car. He walked over to her with a plastic bag in his hand.

"I need your phone, gun, wallet, etc." He ordered.

"Where is your boss?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." The man said as he held out the baggy to her. She dropped her gun, badge, wallet, phone, and keys into the bag.

"And your necklace."

"No."

"I will forcefully remove it."

"Fine." Lisbon unclasped the necklace and dropped in the bag. The man turned and opened the passenger side of the car, dropped the bag inside then closed the door again.

"I need to search you."

"Really?"

The man didn't say anything, Lisbon sighed and lifted her hands so he can search her. After he finished he walked over to the back passenger door and opened it. He motioned her to get in, she slide in and the door closed behind her.

"Welcome, agent." Red John smiled at her.


"Hey," Rigsby told Jane as he opened the door in the early morning hours.

"Shhh. Lisbon is sleeping and you know she can't stand having the door closed," Jane whispered as he ushered Rigsby in. Jane looked annoyed and like he hadn't slept all night.

"You okay?" Rigsby asked with some concern.

"Everything is fine," Jane's answer told Rigsby not to push it.

"Where is J.J?"

"Asleep in his crib. He has already been fed and changed," Jane told him as he picked up his vest off the side of the couch. "I'm heading back to the office."

"Why?"

"Because I had an idea last night and I want to check something out." Jane ordered, grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

"What do you want me to tell Lisbon?" Rigsby asked.

"Nothing, she will figure it out," Jane closed the door behind him. Whatever happened last night changed Jane, that much Rigsby knew.

Jane was still pissed off at Lisbon for her lying to him to the point that he spent the night on the couch. He had thought once or twice to go up there and be with her just for the sake of seeing his son but the moment the thought crossed his mind his hatred for what she did start to boil. He wanted out of the cabin and away from her so he wouldn't say something else that he might truly regret.

Halfway through the drive he bent his head down to change the radio station when he felt the car swerved. Turning his attention back to the road he felt his car get rammed from the right side. Looking to his side he watch as the other car rammed into him again, this time he lost control and barely had time to cover his head before slamming into the tree.

"Sir, can you hear me?" Someone was interfering with his sleep. He ignored it hoping for them to go away, he had a terrible headache and was sore. Why?

"Sir?"

Jane cracked one eye open and looked saw a paramedic trying to get him to wake up. The guy's mouth was moving but Jane couldn't focus on the words that he was saying. Closing his eye again an image of his son and the woman he loved flash before him.

"Lisbon," Jane muttered and fell back into the comfortable darkness.


"Rigs?" Lisbon asked confused as she walked in the kitchen. Rigsby was sitting at the dinning table holding J.J in his arms. She had woken to find JJ not in his crib and had assumed that Jane had once again taken him to let sleep.

"Hey boss," He got up and headed over to Lisbon, he handed over JJ to her. "I went to check on you and saw that he was awake. Hope you don't mind."

"No, but where is Jane?' She asked as she leaned down to kiss JJ on the head. "Hello, little one."

Rigsby shrugged,. "Said he had to go back to the office."

"For what?"

"Said he had an idea, that is it."

"Hmm," Lisbon replied and took JJ over to the couch Rigsby joined her.

"Is everything okay?" He asked. Lisbon lifted an eyebrow at his question. "Jane seemed a little off this morning."

"We had a fight," Lisbon told him, not sure why she did though.

"Oh," Rigsby replied unsure of how he was supposed to act to the news that his boss just told him.

Lisbon wasn't sure if she should talk to Rigsby or not about her fight with Jane. It wasn't something she was proud of and she knew that Jane might want to keep this private. However she needed to let someone else know what happened. "Wayne can we talk?"

"Sure," Rigsby replied. Lisbon nodded, got to her feet and placed JJ in the bassinet so he could sleep. Then turned and looked at Rigsby.

"About what happened to me," she started to say before her eyes caught his. This was going to be hard than she thought. "I made a trade with Red John."

Rigsby was confused by that. "A trade?"

"I traded my life for Jane's," she told him before taking a seat next to him on the couch again. "I gave up my freedom for Jane to have happiness. Red John agreed to quit playing his game with Jane as long as I came with him. I only made one request."

Somehow Rigsby was able to get through the fog of his surprise to ask. "Which was what?"

"I get a month with Jane, a month to be with him, to love him," Lisbon felt the tears sting her eyes. "Within a few weeks of being held captivate I found out that I was pregnant with JJ. I would have never gone with him if I knew I was pregnant."

Rigsby sat on the couch next to her taking in all the information she had told him. It was something very personal she had just told him. But how to respond he wasn't sure.

"That was what the fight was about," Rigsby finally stated as he looked at her.

"Yes."

"Boss, Jane has the right to be mad," Rigsby told her.

"What?" She asked a little shocked.

"You not only made a deal with serial killer you put yourself and your son at risk. You have no clue what everyone went through while you were gone. We searched and searched for any clues that might lead to your location and all that time we thought he had gone after you. You once told us that you told Jane that we were a family. You didn't just lie to Jane you lied to each one of us."

Lisbon sat there in shock as Rigsby got to his feet and took a few steps away from here. "Wow, going straight for the jugular there."

"Sorry boss but you know it is the truth."

"Wayne-"

"You lied, after everything we have been through, you lied," Rigsby repeated as he tried to wrap his mind around the idea that Lisbon had betrayed the team. "You need to tell them, they deserve to know."

"I know."

"Today," Rigsby said sternly as he pulled out his phone.

"You are calling them now?"

"The rules have changed now," he told her and was about to call Grace when his phone rang. He looked down and saw Cho number flashing back at him.

"Hey, Cho...what?" Rigsby asked shocked as his eyes widen and shifted to Lisbon.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked concerned.

"Jane was injured in an accident."

"Is he alright?" Lisbon asked as she got to her feet and walked over to where Rigsby was standing. Her eyes filled with concern.

"Cho, is he okay?" Rigsby asked. "Okay, thank you," He hung up the phone and looked at Lisbon.

"He has a few broken ribs and a concussion, they are keeping him overnight just to make sure," he told her what Cho had told him.

"What happened?"

"Cho isn't sure, the local law enforcement found his car on the side of the road, supposedly he ran into a tree. They have taken him to Mercy General"

"I need to go to him, give me your keys," she held her hands out and Rigsby just looked at.

"Boss, you can't go anywhere," Rigsby reminded her.

"Like hell I can't."

"I won't allow you," Rigsby said firmly.

"Excuse me?"

"You are in danger and it is my job to make sure that you remain safe."

"Did you happen to forget that I am your boss," she counter as she took a step closer to him.

"No, you aren't" Lisbon turned on Rigsby and glared at him. He swallowed then straightened up. "You were relieved of your duty when they declared you missing."

"You know I can hurt you," she closed in on him.

"Yes."

"And you still refuse to allow me to leave?"

"Yes."

"Wayne, give me the keys to your car," Lisbon order as she held out her hand. Rigsby shook his head no and stood his ground. "Fine."

Lisbon took a step back and Jane let out a breath that he hadn't realize he was holding. Lisbon rubbed the back her neck and then looked at Rigsby. "Wayne, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he told her with a smile.

"You want something to drink or eat?" Lisbon asked as she motion to the kitchen.

"Sounds good."

"Help yourself," Lisbon told him; Rigsby nodded and headed over to the kitchen. He looked through the fridge for food.

"Hey Boss do you want something?" He yelled from the kitchen, he heard no response. "Boss?"

Rigsby closed the door as he heard the engine of a car start. "Shit." He ran out of the kitchen and out of the door just as Lisbon pulled away from the house driving his car. Rigsby walked back into the cabin and pulled out his phone.

"Cho, Lisbon just left," Rigsby told him as he closed the door behind him.

"What?"

"She is going to see, Jane."

"Crap," Cho replied then hung up on Rigsby. Rigsby looked around at the cabin, not only had Lisbon taken his pickpocket his keys she had left him with JJ.


Lisbon caught a glimpse of Rigsby as she pulled away from the cabin but she wasn't going to go back without checking on Jane personally. Keeping on eye on the road she type the name Mercy General into the GPS system and waited for it to give her direction to the hospital that Jane was at. It took several minutes but finally the GPS beeped and told her to stay on the same road until exit 96.

She knew that by the time she got there Cho would have already been notified and would try to stop her as soon as he saw her but right now she couldn't care less the only thing that matter was seeing Jane. They needed to talk again and with him stuck in a bed she would have a better chance of him not walking away from her. She also knew that he would be beyond anger that she left the safe house and JJ. She wanted to explain everything to him, to tell him the truth, to tell him what she went through those first few weeks.

Lisbon woke up on the floor of some room that had windows boarded up, the only light came from the bulb hanging from the ceiling. She had a killer headache, which meant that somewhere along the drive between her place and here Red John had drugged her. Getting to her feet she walked over to the door and tried to open it; locked. Lisbon turned around and study the room, only thing inside it was a very old chair with rope tied to the arms and bucket; this wasn't going to be fun. She heard the click of the lock and turned around to see Lorelei coming in; this was going to be bad.

"Long time no see Agent Lisbon."

"Not long enough," Lisbon muttered as she tried to block out her headache.

"Red John told me of your little trade. You wanted one month with Patrick. Did it work? Were you with him?" Lorelei asked gleefully as she walked into the center of the room, causing Lisbon to back up almost to the wall. Lisbon refused to talk to woman about anything, especially her time with Jane.

"You were! I wonder if he's different lover when he's with someone her truly cares about. Shall we compare his abilities?" Lorelei asked with a smug.

"Go away," Lisbon told her hoping against all odds she would.

"Tell me, how does it feel when he kisses you? When he takes your breast into your mouth or when he enters you?"

"Don't you have to be kissing up to your boss?" Lisbon asked sarcastically.

"Who I wouldn't have killed to spend a month with Patrick and his skills as a lover," Lorelei told her, Lisbon just shook her head then slide down the wall so she was sitting, the medication must still be in here system because she was now feeling nausea. "Looking a tad pale there, Agent Lisbon."

"Yeah, that what happens when your boss drugs me," Lisbon retaliated as she leaned her head against the wall.

"You know we have both slept with the same man, but there is a difference between us."

"Yes, I'm not a serial killer mistress."

"I was with Patrick first and after so many years of him denying himself any physical pleasure he was in the basic sense a virgin; you on the other hand were his second," Lorelei told Lisbon with a smirk.

"Does your little speech have a point?"

"You will always be the second best," Lorelei said, something about the way she said it made Lisbon blood boil, within seconds she was on her feet slamming Lorelei into the nearest wall.

"You bitch," Lisbon hissed as she placed an arm into Lorelei throat to cut off her air supply. "You and I are not even close, he used you for access to Red John. He used you." Lisbon emphasize every word and was about to speak again when she felt a hand on her shoulder and then she felt herself flying back; she hit the mattress with a thud.

"Agent Lisbon I would like you to meet Jeffery," Lorelei said between gasping for breaths. Lisbon tried to catch her breath as Lorelei came closer to her and lean down to whisper to her. "You belong to us for the rest of your life." She then straightened and head to the door. Before the door shut she turned and looked back at Lisbon.

"I hope he was worth it."


Lisbon parked the car in the lot and raced into the hospital. There was a woman at the receptionist desk in light purple scrubs who was looking a little underworked at the moment. "What room is Patrick Jane in?"

"Excuse me?"

"Patrick Jane's room, now!"

"Are you his wife?"

She was caught off guard by that question. It wasn't the first time she'd been asked that and she'd always responded the same way. But this time was different. She couldn't get past the waiting room if she wasn't family and she didn't have her badge to muscle on through. But she did love this man, she had a child with him and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to be allowed to see him because of a technicality.

"Yes."

The nurse looked through a chart, flipping through a few pages. "Your husband is in room 308."

"Thanks," Lisbon said quickly before darting towards the nearest elevator.

It took her a little time to get her bearings once she was on the right floor. But she eventually made it to the right hallway and saw Cho on the phone right outside of Jane's room. He noticed her right away. "She just showed up," he said into the phone before hanging up. "You got here fast."

Lisbon wasn't going to admit she'd sped here like a maniac. "Let me see him."

"Where's your kid?" Cho asked, folding his arms across his chest. Lisbon knew that he'd been talking to Rigsby so he knew exactly where her son was. This was just his way of reminding her she'd abandoned the baby with Rigsby in her haste.

"I need to see Jane," Lisbon stated firmly.

"He's asleep."

Lisbon scoffed at that. "Jane never sleeps…at least not on a bed."

"Unless he's drugged."

Jane being drugged was probably a sight she'd like to see. "I can fix that," she replied, she had no doubt that walking in there would wake Jane from whatever stupor he was in. She didn't wait to get another disapproving look for Cho; she just barged into Jane's room.

He wasn't asleep…but he might have been in a drug-induced haze. "Cho I already told you I'm perfectly fine, no need to check in any…" Finally he recognized that she was not the former military man on their team. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," she told him, dragging the privacy curtain to block the door; she still couldn't muster up the courage to close it. "You look like crap."

Jane's eyes were cold, if a little unfocused. "Now you care."

That broke her heart right in two. "I always cared, Jane. I did what I did because I cared, because I love you so damn much."

He was still calm, far too calm. "You need to leave."

"Damn it Jane how much longer are you going to stay mad at me? You have done much worse things than I did."

That probably wasn't the best thing for her to say though. "I never did anything like this to you."

Now Lisbon was feeling a little angry herself. "You ran away to Vegas for six months and I didn't know if you were alive or dead!"

She had him there but Jane wasn't out of this fight. "I didn't ally myself with a serial killer."

"No, you just screwed his mistress."

"And you allowed Red John to touch my son," he hissed out. That was still the part he had the most issue with.

Lisbon took a deep breath to try and keep herself calm. She needed to reason with Jane. "I didn't know I was pregnant. It is not my fault that happened and I tried as hard as I could to get out of it."

"How can you expect me to believe anything you say?" Jane asked, he said it carefully. As if he was just talking to a lying suspect and not the woman he'd trusted for over a decade.

Now she was resorting to begging. "Because I love you. Because I'm the mother of your son and I nearly killed myself trying to get our child away from Red John. Maybe I failed but you have no idea how much I suffered in trying."

Jane was quiet for a moment and she felt a little bit of hope. "Tell me then. Tell me how much you suffered and make me believe you." He stared right into her eyes. "And remember I know when you are lying."

Lisbon stepped closer to him, breathing easier now that she was getting this chance. "I told you the truth about how I found out I was pregnant. That didn't change. Three days after that they decided to move me to the house where I was found…"

Lisbon spent the three days after learning of her pregnancy half curled in a ball on her mattress in panic; except for the time she spent vomiting into her sad little puke bucket. This was not supposed to happen like this…actually it wasn't supposed to happen at all. The deal had been for her life, not to keep her locked up in a room for weeks.

She was supposed to be dead…not alive and pregnant with Jane's baby.

She put one hand over her stomach where the source of her trouble was currently nestled. "Okay, kid, I love you and I mean it but you picked one hell of a time to show up." Lisbon took a deep breath and smiled softly. "I'm going to get us out of this, somehow."

But there was nothing in the room Lisbon could use to get out of this mess. They'd been very thorough in leaving her cell completely devoid of anything that could potentially be a weapon. So she lay on her mattress and waited for the opportunity to come up, it had to.

The sound of the key in the lock signaled that one of her two tormentors was finally there with her breakfast. She sat up quickly and then groaned, nausea and dizziness; this pregnancy was going to be fun.

It was Lorelei this time with the tray. Wonderful, that meant she might have sit through another conversation about the fact that they had slept with the same man. Lorelei put the tray down on the floor by her bed. Oatmeal with fresh fruit, apparently Red John was done with the bread and water routine. Lorelei pointed to a pill that rested on the napkin. "Take that."

She raised an eyebrow at the pill. "What is it?"

"It's a prenatal vitamin for the baby," she explained, "he wants to make sure you are healthy."

"Then he should let me go," Lisbon stated, "so I can go to a doctor, have an ultrasound and give birth in a hospital like every other pregnant woman out there."

"Eat your breakfast," Lorelei told her and then turned to leave. That surprised Lisbon since normally the bitch never passed up an opportunity to be her normal cruel self.

"What? You aren't going to stay this time?"

She turned around and smiled cruelly. "I wish I could, Agent Lisbon, but we are all rather busy at the moment."

"Doing what?"

But Lorelei just smiled as she closed and locked the door behind her.

Lisbon wondered what that all meant, she had a feeling that whatever it was she wouldn't like it. She stared at the pill on her tray of food for a long time, slightly afraid that it was something that would harm her child. But Red John had called that baby "his present", that sounded like something he wanted to keep not destroy. That thought made her shiver; no way in hell was Red John going to have her child.

But she wanted her baby to be healthy.

She took the pill and swallowed it down with the orange juice before turning her attention to the oatmeal and strawberries. She ate as much as she could with her stomach still tied up in knots.

The oatmeal didn't settle well in her stomach. Not long after she pushed the half eaten tray away she was rushing to her puke bucket so she could vomit. She dry heaved for a while before finally collapsing onto the mattress again. "If your father was here, I'd kill him right now," Lisbon declared, "and when we see him again, I still might."

Two hours later she was surprised that the door to her room opened again and this time both Lorelei and Jeffrey were there. "What do you want me to do now?" she wondered, still feeling like she was going to be sick. If that was the case she hoped she threw up on Lorelei.

"Get up," Lorelei told her. Jeffrey, as usual, didn't say a word. They didn't wait for her to get to her feet herself, instead the big man hauled her up and half dragged her out of the room. She was surprised that she was being pushed out of the house and down the driveway towards a white van.

She stopped in her tracks. "Where are we going?"

Jeffrey just shoved her and she stumbled a few steps, nearly falling down. But they forced her into the back of the van. It was empty and covered with rough almost shag carpeting. They both got into the back with her, she had no idea who was driving the van but she had a feeling Red John did not double as chauffer.

Lisbon was left sitting on one side of the van, crouched down against the wall with Lorelei and Jeffrey sitting on the other side. Her stomach lurched with every stop and the fact that the old van wasn't air conditioned properly meant she was uncomfortably hot. She never usually got carsick but she'd never been stuck in an oven of a vehicle while pregnant either.

"I'm going to be sick," Lisbon groaned.

"Hold it in." Lorelei hissed.

"You hold it in!"

Jeffrey produced a plastic bag just in time for Lisbon to throw up in while Lorelei watched, her nose wrinkled in disgust. Lisbon briefly fantasized throwing the bag in her pretty little face but decided to save it in case another wave of nausea washed over her.

She couldn't say for sure how long they drove. They did stop once and Jeffrey threw out the plastic puke bag and gave her a fresh one, along with a bottle of ginger ale still cold from the store. That helped a lot, she didn't feel quite as sick on the rest of the trip.

The car finally stopped and the two stooges dragged her out of the van. She was surprised to see a large house with boarded up windows set in front of a large over grown lawn. A stretch of wooded area lay beyond the house and she bet she could get lost in those woods…and hide out for a while.

Her heart thudded in her chest. This was her chance, her last chance.

Now she just had to break away.

Jeffrey gave her another shove towards the house and Lisbon stumbled. Her eyes caught sight of a baseball sized rock just a couple steps away. She used the momentum to "fall" palm the rock discreetly. When Lorelei reached down to help her to her feet Lisbon whirled around and slammed the rock against the side of her head.

She didn't stop to see Lorelei fall, just leapt to her feet and sprinted for the woods.

Once she was sheltered in the trees Lisbon slowed her gait a minute if only to hear where she was being followed, but all she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears. She turned to look but she couldn't see beyond the thick veil of trees…well neither could they then. Lisbon turned back around to continue her escape.

Only to be stopped by the sound of a gunshot.

The bullet whizzed past her head and embedded itself in the tree nearby. She whirled around to see Red John standing calmly not twenty feet away, the smoking gun in his hand.

"You don't think I know everything about you but you are wrong." He told her calmly, "Every move you will make. I know you better than you do, even better than Patrick. I also know that you won't do anything to harm his second chance at being a father. So the decision is yours, run or stay."

Lisbon gaped at him for a long time, stunned that he had thought this far ahead…but she shouldn't be. She'd worked to catch this man for years; he had always been one step ahead of her. Just like now.

She held up her hands in surrender just as she heard the sound of Jeffrey crashing through the woods. He remained silent but was not gentle in the very least as he grabbed her arm tightly and hauled her back out of the woods towards the house.

Lorelei was sitting on the porch steps, her head was bleeding and she was trying to staunch the flow with her hand. Her eyes darkened as soon as she saw Lisbon. "You bitch!" She shouted and made to hit her but was stopped by one word from Red John.

"Don't," he told her sharply. "She is not to be harmed. Not when she has what is mine."

Lisbon glared at him. "It isn't yours."

"That is where you are wrong."

"This wasn't a part of the deal," Lisbon reminded him, "you can't have me and my child!"

"You agreed to trade your life for his," Red John reminded her, "and that means anything you carry with you." He reached up, one gloved fingertip caressing her jaw line. "You really should be careful when striking a bargain, Agent Lisbon. You have to make sure you know exactly what cards you are holding."

Jeffrey shoved her inside of the house and Lisbon struggled some more but there was no breaking away from the giant. She was forced down the basement stairs and into a dimly lit room that had a real bed and a toilet and little else. Jeffrey pushed her inside and she fell to her knees just as the door slid shut and the heavy lock clicked with a metallic clang.

A sharp cry escaped her lips in that moment; she was still on her hands and knees on the cold floor. Tears fell from her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop her choking sobs. She knew exactly what had happened. Her chance to escape had come and gone.

Now she was really lost.

It was difficult to relive that moment when she realized that her child was probably going to be born a captive in a serial killer's twisted game. She hadn't truly given up then, but as the months passed and her pregnancy advanced she'd known then that there was no way she would ever be able to escape on her own.

But she'd prayed. She's prayed every night and day that Jane would come and find her before their child was born.

It hadn't happened that way but at least they had found their way back to each other again.

"Say something," Lisbon begged. She needed to know that she could fix this…because she needed him. That was something she'd realized when he'd disappeared for those six months and it was something she realized when she'd been locked away to give birth in basement. She needed him to live, to breathe, to be able to wake up in the mornings. She needed him.

Jane looked at her, not a single emotion was visible in his gaze. "Go back to the safe house, Teresa."

Her heart sank down to the floor. "That's it? I tell you about how hard I tried to get out and…it means nothing to you."

"Red John knew exactly what you would do," Jane reminded her. "Don't you see? He was playing you from the beginning and you let him. You played right into his hands the moment you offered yourself up as a sacrifice."

"I didn't know…"

"But you did," Jane stated, "You knew I would be devastated and that it would destroy me but you still did it. And because of it you dragged our child into this mess." He sighed. "Go back to the safe house and stay there."

It took a lot of effort not to burst into tears in front of Jane. Maybe it was because she felt so numb.

Somehow she stumbled out of the room while the rest of the world crashed around her. Cho had the decency to at least pretend like he hadn't heard at least some of the conversation. "I'm taking you back to the safe house," Cho told her, "Van Pelt will stay with you tonight.

She just nodded and let herself be led out of the hospital.

She was in too much pain to cry.


Cho drove Lisbon back to the safe house with Grace driving Rigsby's car that Lisbon had stolen. She spent most of ride simply staring out the window feeling like her own world was collapsing around her. The worst part was she'd known Jane would react this where, if there was one thing Jane didn't compromise on it was his hatred for Red John. He'd already lost one child to the monster and she'd given him the other, it didn't matter if it was unintentional she'd still done it.

She couldn't forgive herself, why would Jane?

Rigsby was waiting for them when they arrived, he was still mad that she'd stolen his car but Lisbon wasn't really caring at that point. She immediately made a beeline for the bassinet and took her son into her arms. JJ was sleepy and whimpered a little but he calmed as soon as he heard his mother's heartbeat.

The team was in the nearby kitchen having a heavy whispered conversation. Lisbon didn't overhear too much but she did hear Rigsby tell them that something had happened. But he didn't say what. Well at least that was something, even if she knew it meant Rigsby wanted her to confess herself.

They decided that Rigsby would go back to the hospital to keep an eye on Jane while Cho and Grace would stick around at the safe house. Rigsby took his keys back and left, but Lisbon didn't move from her place on the couch, her son still sleeping in her arms.

Finally Van Pelt and Cho decided that they were tired of being on the outside of the big secret. "Boss?" Grace asked, stepping into the room.

Lisbon still didn't speak, just clutched her child closer to her chest. "What is going on?" Cho said, his tone was insistent.

"Nothing," Lisbon finally said. She didn't know why she was determined not to tell them, maybe she just really wanted to have someone still trust her for however short of time.

"It doesn't seem like nothing," Cho stated.

"It's something personal between Jane and me."

"That isn't a good enough answer this time."

Lisbon sighed and met his eyes sadly. "I know."

They were silent again for a long time before Cho spoke. "Were you ever going to tell us or were you just going to keep on lying just like Jane does."

"I never lied," Lisbon replied. It was the truth, she'd never lied…just selectively told the truth.

"No?" Cho wondered, "you just forgot to tell us you were sleeping with Jane because you made a trade with Red John."

Grace gasped at that statement while Lisbon looked away, unable to meet their eyes in her guilt. "I did what I had to save him."

"You did a terrible job."

"You are going to lecture me on my relationship?"

Cho didn't bat an eye. "Yes."

"What exactly happened?" Grace asked bluntly. "You made a trade with Red John…for what?"

Lisbon still didn't look at them; her attention was on the sleeping infant in her arms. God she'd messed everything up, from the beginning. She never should have made that deal, she should have known that it was not going to be as simple as she'd assume. In the game of Red John, she'd been playing checkers and Red John had been playing chess.

Now it was time to pay for it.

She sighed heavily and met Grace's eyes. "I met Red John at that warehouse and asked him what he wanted to end his game with Jane. He told me that he wanted…me. And I said yes." Her two teammates remained silent and she continued. "I agreed, only if I was given a month with Jane. I thought I was going to die so I wanted to be able to go to my death knowing what it was like to be loved, really loved by him.

"When my month was up I got the call from Red John. I turned myself over to him and was taken to house where I was locked up for weeks. That was when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know…neither did he, and it changed everything. My life, my sacrifice was no longer as exciting as the idea of having Jane's child."

"You never knew?" Grace asked.

She shook her head. "No. If I'd known I never would have gone. I tried. I fought. I nearly killed myself trying to get away, trying to escape with my son. I know I failed…but I tried."

"You had to know what this would do to Jane," Cho pointed out, "and us."

"Deep down I knew I just…"

"You only thought about keeping him alive," Grace finished, "not that it might not be a life worth living."

"He deserves to put his demons to rest, to move on. I wanted to give him that without him ending up in jail or worse dead."

"It wouldn't have worked. He needs you to do that." She pointed out softly

Lisbon shook her head. "He never showed any indication of his feelings for me before I made the deal. He always said that he was going to kill him."

Cho surprised her by bluntly stating, "Yes he did."

She gaped at him. "When?"

"He killed Hardy, refuses to leave your office until you do, sabotages any date you've been on in the past ten years...and you let him." Cho pointed out, "He never made a move because he knew if he did then he would lose you and he couldn't survive that happening."

"And you just knew this?"

Cho shrugged. "You're both idiots."

She pressed her lips into a firm line; she couldn't really refute that claim. "That may be but my and Jane's relationship problems are our own."

Cho looked at her, his eyes were hard and cold. "He isn't going to forgive you for this, not easily."

Lisbon nodded glumly. "How can I expect him to forgive me when I can't forgive myself?"

Neither of them had a good answer. The truth was that they didn't know themselves.


She'd carefully counted the minutes. It would soon be time for either Jeffrey or Lorelei to bring her some food. After the birth of her son the preferential treatment was long over, gone were the healthy plentiful meals designed around baby. No, now she was left with whatever they felt like fixing her be it just some old bread and water sometimes. Lisbon knew it was what Red John wanted; he was trying to break her down. Well he'd accomplished that the moment he'd ripped her son from her arms.

But she would get him back.

She heard the metal latch lift and the door began to slide with a heavy metallic creak. It was Jeffrey, not much of a surprise; Lorelei was probably busy playing mother to her son. Well Lisbon had her own surprise in store.

Jeffrey took one step into the room with a tray that had a bowl of something hot. But before he could take another step Lisbon slammed the top of the toilet tank into his face. There was the sickening crack of bone breaking and Jeffrey fell down like a toppled over tree. Lisbon sprang into action, dropping the piece of porcelain and pouncing on the gun that was strapped to Jeffrey's waist. The man was out cold, blood pouring over his face but Lisbon didn't give him a second though, just bounded up the steps.

The gun felt good in her hands as she made her way to the upstairs. The house was fairly empty but she didn't care, she was going to find her child and get both of them away from this place. To her surprise she caught Lorelei in the hallway, a bright red teddy bear in her hands. The sight of the toy made Lisbon want to scream, they were giving her son things…red toys. He wasn't Red John's property, he never would be.

Lisbon pointed her gun right at Lorelei. "Where is my son?"

Lorelei held up her hands in a submissive gesture. She didn't look afraid…she didn't look angry either. Perhaps there was a bit of sympathy in her eyes, like when she'd taken her son out of her arms. "You don't want to shoot me, Teresa."

"No," Lisbon agreed, "But I will if that is what it takes to get my son back."

"He won't let him go. He's Red John's now."

"He's mine."

"Not anymore."

The gunshot was sharp and loud, Lorelei jumped at the sound but she wasn't hurt. Lisbon had missed on purpose. She hated this woman; she also knew that Lorelei was the closest thing she'd had for a friend in the past year…which was pretty pathetic. All that meant was she got a warning, next time the bullet would go between her eyes.

But she didn't have to shoot again.

The gunshot had disturbed the baby who let out a long angry wail. Lisbon looked up towards the stairs where the sound was coming from. Her son was here in the house.

She shoved Lorelei out of the way and raced up the stairs. Her son's screams grew louder once she reached the landing. They were coming from the room at the end of the hall. Lisbon didn't even look at any other room; she had tunnel vision strictly for her son's nursery.

Lisbon never saw the open door, not until she was suddenly shoved hard against the wall. The gun slipped from her hands and skittered across the floor and Lisbon fell down, the wind slightly knocked out of her. She tried to crawl for the gun but just as her fingertips touched the muzzle, a heavy black boot painfully stepped on her hand.

Red John kicked the gun away and then kicked Lisbon too until she rolled over onto her back to look at him. "Where do you think you are going?"

"Give me my son you sick son of a bitch!"

He knelt down next to her and for the firs time she was able to see his hazel eyes. "You woke up my son with your foolish actions."

She stared at him for a long moment and then spat in his face. "He's not your son!"

Red John calmly wiped the spittle from his eyes just as heavy quick steps came hurrying up the stairs. "Ah, Jeffrey, so good of you to join us. Please escort Agent Lisbon back to her room. No need to be gentle about it."

"Escort" apparently meant dragging her literally. Blood was still dripping from Jeffrey's smashed nose as grabbed her legs roughly and dragged her down the hallway. Her palms squeaked against the floor as she tried to stop him from doing this but her efforts were not effective. But she did get to watch as Red John walked into her son's room.

Her head banged painfully against each step as Jeffrey continued to drag her away. She tasted blood in her mouth after she bit her tongue then her lip. She saw stars every time her head bumped against the floor. Finally they reached the basement and Jeffrey chucked her inside as if she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes. The door slammed shut with a loud clang and Lisbon was left alone on the cold concrete floor.

She spit the blood out of her mouth and the choking sound of her wails filled the room. "Please!" she begged, not Jeffrey or Lorelei or Red John. No she was begging God. "Please! Give me my son! I want my son! I want Joshua!"

"Joshua!"

"Joshua!"

Her screams were loud and still ringing in her ears when Lisbon woke up in the bed. She wasn't still in that basement cell where she'd been held, given birth and had her son ripped from her arms. For a moment all she could do was sit and pant, trying to get her heart rate under control and herself from panicking again.

Then she finally heard her son's screams.

He was crying and flailing in arms and legs inside of his crib, for some reason all she could do was look at him crying for a few moments. This was her child, she'd frightened him and she was supposed to fix that now. It was what she'd fought for all those months, what she'd endured torture and pain to have.

The sound of someone bounding up the steps shook Lisbon out of her stupor. She immediately grabbed her gun and pointed it straight at the door, ready to shoot the intruder.

"Boss! It's me!" Grace said, holding up her hands as soon as she saw Lisbon with her gun.

Lisbon still didn't lower it.

"Boss…put the gun down."

"No," Lisbon said coldly, her chest heaving with every breath. "Get out. Get away from me and my son."

"What is…"

"No one is going to take my son again!" she hissed. "Get out!"

Grace stared at her completely dumbfounded. Finally she backed out of the room, only then did Lisbon lower her gun. She got out of bed and picked up her still screaming baby, his face red and blotchy from his crying. Lisbon held her son close to her chest, the gun resting beside her on the bed.

She'd just defended her son.

From someone who posed no threat at all.

But Lisbon didn't feel guilt or shame. She felt good knowing that she'd protected herself…even if she shouldn't feel that way at all. She knew this was wrong, but she didn't care.

Lisbon looked down at JJ who was finally beginning to quiet down.

"Mama's going crazy."


A/N: This was an ouch chapter, poor Lisbon is going crazy but she doesn't have her support system right now. It'll take a bit for Jane to forgive her for this but you'll have to see what happens next ;-)