A/N: Hey everyone! Here's next chapter. Enjoy!
As usual, May - you're amazing.
Chapter 11: The Miracle
Three Months before Present Time
.
Another week passed, floating by with an overwhelming emptiness. Sasuke's stomach grew; time was running out. Itachi had spoken to neither Konan nor Tsunade since he was diagnosed; he just couldn't face it.
Two weeks left, and he felt like the Earth was about to end. Itachi had never hated anyone as much as he hated himself during that time. When he lay awake at night, feeling the anxiety surround him from every angle and slowly suffocate him, he felt more than ever that he just couldn't do this.
"I think it would make everything easier for you. Actually, I want you to start this treatment, considering Sasuke and the baby. The kind of depression you suffer from is long-lasting. We don't want it to get worse."
Konan's words were haunting him endlessly; he was torn between worrying for Sasuke and hating himself for how weak he had become. He couldn't sleep anymore. The most painful memories of his life were constantly lurking at the back of his mind, just waiting to attack when he was the most vulnerable. Everything he'd ever said and done wrong and every fight they had ever had would come back and haunt him as soon as he let his guard down.
But other days, it was surprisingly easy to pull himself together – he would not reveal anything. Long sleeves, a light smile and well-washed hair and no one would pay him any mind. Sasuke was too focused on complaining about his own discomfort right now to really notice, but Itachi knew that sooner or later, he would. He dreaded that day. Sasuke would realize that something was terribly wrong, and he would not give up until he had found out what it was. But the elder Uchiha had decided to bear his shame to the grave.
Yet, he couldn't hide it forever. He wondered when the mask would break.
.
When he came home from grocery shopping one day, he stopped right inside the door, completely taken aback.
"What's this, Otouto?"
"I just wanted to make him feel welcome."
Itachi slowly walked the last steps, feeling completely blown out of his mind. Despite having a very hard time moving, Sasuke had managed to decorate the entire living room with baby toys, balloons, as well as blankets and pillows that they had bought at the baby store. Blue, green, orange and yellow balloons were floating on the ceiling. Pacifiers were placed neatly on the soft, fluffy, folded blankets. The colourful letter lamps that they had bought were laid out on the table, spelling S-H-I-S-U-I.
He tried really hard to feel something, but the suffocating apathy was still there. "How did you manage to do all this?"
"Naruto helped me." Sasuke shrugged, leaning back on the couch. He looked unusually tired and worn-out.
"It's... really beautiful."
"I should probably warn you: he's coming back. He's really excited about all this. I didn't let him into the nursery though; he would've messed it up."
Itachi took off his shoes and walked over to the neatly folded pile of baby clothing on a side table. When he saw the tiny little jumpsuit on top, his heart got stuck in his throat. Soon it would be filled out by a real, living human being.
He swallowed hard and turned around. Sasuke's suitcase was open on the floor, ready to be filled with clothes and necessities. They had made an agreement with Tsunade that they would come to the hospital several days before the planned due date, so that she could supervise Sasuke all hours of the day, just in case. He had already started packing, which was quite unusual for him – normally he wouldn't be very concerned about such things.
An eager knock on the door made Itachi flinch. He went to answer it and was almost knocked down by an overly excited blond. "Can I see the nursery now?" Naruto burst into the room, clearly impatient.
Sasuke sighed. "Just don't turn anything over, dobe." He was far too tired to move now so he just sent his brother a glance. Itachi nodded, averting his eyes from them. "This way, Naruto."
They both went upstairs, and Sasuke heard Naruto's excited chitchat and twenty questions about everything regarding the baby. Itachi remained patient and tried to answer the best he could, but he sounded completely emotionless.
Sasuke leaned back on the couch and adjusted a slightly uncomfortable pillow behind his back. Naruto had been trying really hard to convince them to make him the godfather of Shisui, and Sasuke was on the verge of agreeing, if only to stop his constant fussing.
Naruto was constantly developing his bond with their unborn child, talking about how Shisui was doing that particular day and how his chakra felt. But it was slowly getting on the younger Uchiha's nerves; it was his child. Naruto also seemed eager to take Itachi's place, but Sasuke would never let him.
He let his hands follow the edge of his big stomach, feeling the tense skin outstretched in a way he had never thought possible. A gentle nudge against his palm made an involuntary smile grace his lips. The love he felt for the baby that he had never seen was overwhelming – but as much as he wanted to see him and hold him, he was afraid of letting him out into this cold world. He wanted to protect Shisui from everything – all injustice, judgment, and everything he would have to deal with in the harsh reality outside. He wanted to keep him safe forever and make sure nothing and no one could ever hurt his fragile heart. He had never felt anything like this.
He felt his bladder start protesting again, and he bit his teeth in frustration. How long had it been, ten minutes since last time? Now Itachi wasn't around to help him, but Sasuke had never relied on other people too much. He refused to view himself as helpless; it hurt his pride far too much.
He started making his way off of the couch, slowly and carefully without bumping his large belly into anything.
"You've gotten really heavy," he mumbled. His legs protested as he stood up; they were used to being carried. All his muscles felt weakened. As he took a couple of steps from the couch, he felt that intense pain in his lower abdomen from the other night return again. It hit him really quickly, like a sudden blow to his stomach.
Sasuke had never in his entire life experienced the sensation of cramps, so the painful feeling was completely foreign. It came in waves, drawing back and hardly giving him time to breathe, before hitting with full force again. He clutched his stomach in agony as the ripping pain spread all over his abdomen. It was getting worse with each passing moment.
His legs gave in and he clumsily collapsed onto the floor. He was slightly aware that he hurt his hips, but he was unable to focus on anything else other than the ripping pain, praying for it to stop. He'd do anything… just make it stop. It was blurring his vision and numbing his senses. His mouth opened and closed in a silent scream.
As his body squirmed, he felt his leg hit something – the end of the coffee table. He tried to call out for his brother, but his voice failed him. It sounded hoarse and came out like a throaty groan instead.
Sasuke's entire body contracted, but in vain - there was no way for his body to resolve this by itself. The pain was insufferable - it felt like all of his inner organs were being squeezed tightly together by an invisible hand.
Somewhere amidst the pain, he realized that he was dying. If he didn't get help soon...
Using the last of his energy, he reached up towards the low table and grabbed his glass of tomato juice, swiping it over the edge with as much force as he possibly could.
.
The sound of glass shattering all over the wooden floor made Itachi flinch.
"Sasuke, what happened?" he called out. When he received no reply, he came down the stairs a moment later, Naruto following right behind.
They were met by the sight of Sasuke's convulsing body, lying in a mess of shattered glass and spilled juice.
"We have to call an ambulance!" the blond shouted, panicking. He rushed over to his friend, trying to shake life into him. "Sasuke, do you hear me?"
"There's no time," Itachi snapped, immediately realizing what was happening. "Call the hospital now. Tsunade's the only one who can handle this."
He leaned over his brother, trying to get any form of contact. As Naruto ran for his phone, Itachi spoke in a low, strained voice: "Just breathe, Sasuke. Focus on your breathing. That's all you need to do – breathe. Tsunade is on her way. We'll take care of you. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."
He placed his fingers on his brother's neck and counted his pulse as the younger boy kept on squirming in silent pain. Itachi watched his face intently for any signs of losing consciousness.
The blond soon returned, fear in his voice. "Tsunade is in the middle of a heart surgery - it'll take hours before she can get here. Konan had to assist her, but she said she'd come over as soon as she could." He was clearly about to freak out, which didn't make the situation any better. Itachi had absolutely no time or energy to deal with a hysterical Naruto on top of this.
Itachi felt panic spreading throughout his entire body. This wasn't supposed to happen – there were two weeks left before Sasuke was planned to go into labour.
Suddenly two lives were depending on him.
He knew he had to make a decision - now or never.
"Naruto," he hissed through gritted teeth, "I need you to keep Sasuke still and make sure he keeps on breathing."
The boy immediately placed himself by Sasuke's head. "What are you gonna do?"
He paled when he saw the look on Itachi's face. "No, wait, you can't do that! Are you crazy? It's gonna- "
"I have no choice," the elder snapped. But inside, he was hesitating. He was not sure he would be able to go through with this – the thought of hurting his brother in such a way made him feel sick to his stomach. There was no one around to help if something went wrong. If anything happened to Sasuke or Shisui… it would be his fault.
But time was running out.
Naruto's hands trembled violently. Sasuke's head was slack in his lap. "I can't feel his chakra…"
Itachi flinched, his entire body tensing immediately. But his Sharingan quickly told him otherwise – Sasuke's chakra was still there. Then he realized who Naruto was talking about.
Sasuke had heard their conversation through a rapidly spreading brain fog, but as the numbing pain increased, so did the panic. The panic was colder, stronger, battling the agonizing pain.
"Itachi," he hissed furiously, barely able to make any sound. "You have one fucking thing to do – get him out. GET HIM OUT!"
Itachi leaned over him, pale, heart rushing in his chest. "Otouto –"
"I don't care - Cut me up and get him out. NOW!" Sasuke's voice was a hoarse, desperate roar. "He's DYING!"
Itachi didn't waste another second. In a flash, he moved to the kitchen and located the sharpest knife he could find. A moment later, he moved to the cupboard where they stored all their first-aid equipment and took the antiseptic along with all the bandages, compresses and clean towels they had. He didn't have time to do this properly - they didn't have any real medical equipment and nothing to numb the pain.
He washed the knife with the antiseptic, lit a match and held the blade over the flame. Afterward, he rinsed it with the antiseptic again. Seconds later, he returned to his brother. Holding his head in his lap, Naruto tried to do breathing exercises with him – which was completely wasted on him since Sasuke was too far gone. The blond was freaking out more and more by the second.
Sasuke's eyes had rolled to the back of his head, and his body shook with seizures. Itachi positioned himself between his legs and pulled the big nightshirt away. He placed some of the towels around the stomach, hoping desperately it would be of some use. At the same time, he poured a good amount of antiseptic on the skin with his free hand, before lowering the knife over the tense stomach.
Naruto held his best friend's body still, feeling torn up and nauseous inside at the sight of him in this state. Itachi swallowed the panic that came from seeing his brother like this, but his emotionless side made it easier to push it aside.
He watched as the blood started pouring out of the wound. He added more pressure and let the knife follow the line of Sasuke's navel vertically. It made his stomach turn to see how easily the flesh gave in. There was no going back now.
Naruto tried to wipe away the cold sweat on Sasuke's forehead, but his own hands were so sweaty that it didn't make any difference. Sasuke was completely unconscious by now, and his entire body had gone limp.
"Keep on breathing, teme. Whatever you do, hang in there." Upset tears filled Naruto's eyes as his voice trembled.
Sasuke's body shook one last time, and his breathing seemed to stop completely. Naruto froze. He was ice-cold inside. Struggling, he managed to turn his neck towards the direction of Sasuke's abdomen. Dark red blood and gross, torn flesh were all he saw. He swallowed hard and tried to suppress the nausea.
As he saw Itachi's entire body bent over the wound, his hands soiled and covered in blood, Naruto shivered. To think that this man had been able to infest Sasuke with himself…
Itachi put down the knife, not really thinking, not really breathing at all. He lowered his hands, feeling caught in a dreamlike state of mind. The world stopped here. Everything started here.
What he felt was something out of this world; so strange, yet so beautiful. His emotions collided – a strange calm was coming over him, but also a slightly stressful feeling. He felt as if he had just heard the most beautiful melody of his life, and it had the strength to change something deep within him. A presence which he had never known before – it had been sleeping inside their hearts for so many years, until it was finally brought to the surface.
For the shortest of moments, everything was clear. Everything finally made sense.
For a fraction of a second, he felt happy.
He looked down at his soiled hands. A very tiny, wrinkly body covered in blood rested in them. Itachi felt the weight, the soft skin against his palms, and it was real. He stared at the newborn, at a loss of words and thoughts. Nothing could describe this feeling.
The little one moved his arms slightly, desperately trying to grab onto something. His brittle, delicate voice, protesting against the cold and bright world that he had been thrown into, was clear as a small porcelain bell. It made Itachi's heart ache deep within his chest.
Shisui.
He was perfect.
Itachi could feel tears gather in the corners of his eyes. The infant in his hands was nothing but a miracle, that had grown and survived in a place that would have been impossible for any other life form. The entire world stopped in that second. Their baby. Itachi loved Sasuke more than his own life. But this was a different kind of love. It was just as strong, but completely new to him.
Naruto's alarmed voice made him snap out of it. "Itachi!"
He had to trust Naruto now, trust that he wouldn't ruin this like the idiot he was. Reluctantly, he handed over his son to him.
"Make sure he breathes properly and keep him warm."
"I will," Naruto cooed with the baby as he stood up, shining with joy.
Itachi focused on Sasuke again – the wound needed immediate care. He put a big cloth over it and applied as much pressure as he could. As he started bandaging it, Konan burst through the door, her breathing strained.
"I came as soon as I could," she said and rushed over to them. "Tsunade will still be occupied for a few more hours. Has the baby been delivered?"
"C-section," Itachi answered shortly. The blue-haired female sat down on the other side of Sasuke, opened her bag and quickly got all her stuff ready. "I need to stitch it right now." She brought up a syringe and prepared it before inserting it into Sasuke's arm. He was looking completely lifeless, like an empty, torn up doll.
"The morphine will soon kick in, hopefully. He'll need it or he'll be in severe pain when he wakes up. I need you to monitor his breathing now."
She had already put on a hairnet and gloves and started working on the wound. Itachi sat on the side and put his lips to Sasuke's, with utter carefulness. The younger boy's lips were slightly bluish, and his breathing was uneven. Itachi let one of his hands rest on his neck, checking his pulse, as he gave him slow breaths and watched his chest respond.
I'm so sorry, Otouto. This is all my fault. I put you through all this. I should have been prepared, I should have thought of this. But I'm here. You need to wake up – you'll finally get to see him. Just wake up, for his sake. Shisui needs you.
I need you. You gave me something that I treasure more than my own life - you made me happy, even when I couldn't see anything about myself that was worth loving. You gave me your love, you gave me the blessing of being your brother.
You brought another ray of sunlight into my dark, starless night.
If you were to disappear, I would be swallowed by endless darkness.
Tears started running down Itachi's face. When he had made Sasuke's breathing normal again, he put his hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply. His tears seemed to melt into the kiss, as his sorrow and desperation overflowed.
His brother was still not responding - when he kissed those cold, dry lips, it was as if he was dead. Itachi couldn't stop his tears from falling, running onto his Otouto's empty face.
I need you to come back to me. If I were to lose you... I could not go on.
Konan took a deep breath. "It's all done. We need to take him to the hospital right now – he has lost a lot of blood, and Tsunade-sama must examine him at once. This was a very primitive delivery, and there is a big risk of complications and infections. It might affect the baby too. We will probably give them antibiotics for a while."
"Thank you. Do whatever you need to do." Itachi's voice was heartfelt. Now that Sasuke was in safe hands, his brain started working properly again. They looked over to the other side of the room where Naruto had assembled all blankets he could possibly find and wrapped them around Shisui. The baby was rolled up like a burrito, and Naruto cooed with him repeatedly.
"I need to make sure that his airways are clear," Konan inquired. "Did he scream?"
"Of course he's breathing!" Naruto seemed almost offended. "What do you take me for? I've raised kids before!"
Konan ignored him. She rolled the baby out of his massive blanket shield and started massaging his chest a bit, looking for a response. The baby's thick, wrinkly eyelids slowly opened for the first time, and he let out a soft whimper. Itachi could only stare, his heart all the way up in his throat.
He saw those eyes he had been longing to see – big, dark orbs sleepily looking at the world around them. Naruto had washed most of the blood off of his face, and for the first time, they could see what little Shisui actually looked like.
His eyes were Itachi's – big, endlessly dark and almond-shaped. The rest of his face was a copy of Sasuke: his mouth, his nose, even the same forehead. His head was covered in soft, black spiky hair. The older Uchiha was completely spellbound. It was like looking at his little brother, but something of himself was there in the picture – the baby was a perfect mixture of them both. But his beautiful looks were all from Sasuke, Itachi was convinced of that.
A slight coughing sound escaped the baby's lips and he flinched, suddenly worried. "Is he alright?"
"Don't worry." Konan smiled. She wrapped him up in tin foil and more blankets to keep him as warm as possible. "You have a lot of things to learn about babies, Itachi."
But the older Uchiha wasn't at all concerned about diaper changes and milk replacements. He couldn't suppress the new voice at the back of his mind: There is no turning back.
A/N: And there we go! As always, the only way to assure fast and regular updates is to leave me feedback - it's my best motivation and inspiration to keep on writing and nothing can motivate me as much as knowing that someone enjoys my story. So it's really important to me. Thank you.
Much love! Thank you for reading!
- Crystallinee
