Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: So, for those of you don't read the reviews, I had a change of direction with this chapter. I'm not sure I pulled it off really, but I had to do something to redirect the plot from where I had originally intended to take it. It is also about twice as long as other chapters because i couldn't find a point to stop at. I hope it doesn't suck too massively.
For a moment, Edward didn't think he had heard his father properly. It was impossible of course, what with the enhanced abilities graced to his kind, but still, he had to replay the words in his head before he could grasp the meaning of them. And with that comprehension came an immediate panic reaction. His eyes shot up to his father's face, an expression of shock painted upon his own features.
"...now? you mean... with..." Edward was instantly babbling, shaking his head frantically from side to side. He had thought losing his dear car was punishment enough, could have endured another spanking if his father had dealt it, but this? This was too much. Always, Carlisle had given his children the right to maintain their dignity when receiving a punishment, sending the family away until matters had been resolved. It may have seemed a trivial act to some, considering that there were few secrets in a family like theirs, but it was important. Edward especially, abhorred the idea of anyone witnessing him at his most vulnerable, and up until now the family had always respected his privacy in this respect. He could barely form a sentence as the reality of what his father was asking of him became clear.
"...Bella is here...everyone would hear..."
Within the blink of an eye, Edward had blurred to the other side of the room, out of reach of his father, close enough to the window for him to be able to escape through it before Carlisle could get to him. His eyes were wide and wary, his mind frantically racing to keep up with his own feelings, and the thoughts of his family as they too heard the discussion taking place. He scrubbed his hands over his face, still shaking his head, before looking pleadingly into the eyes of his creator.
" I can't..I can't do it Carlisle. I won't...I know I was wrong, I know it, I do. I'll fix it."
His words were coming in stuttered gasps, his body going through all the motions of a full fledged panic attack. He didn't need to breathe, oxygen was of no benefit to him, and yet he found himself frantically trying to suck in great breaths of it, his head pounding, his whole body quaking. A door slammed downstairs as Jasper fled the onslaught of Edward's emotions. Bella could be heard asking what was wrong, the sound of her voice drifting up to the study only increasing Edward's distress. He was a millisecond away from fleeing, straight through the plate glass if needs be.
Carlisle had not expected such a reaction to his proposed punishment. He knew that it would be difficult for Edward, but punishments were not intended to be easy. But as he watched the bronze haired vampire go to pieces in front of him, he wondered how he could have so drastically misjudged the situation. He wanted to go to his child, to offer some comfort, but he was conflicted. If he hesitated now, would Edward mistake compassion for weakness? He had a duty to perform to his family, and if this boy kept on flouting rules right, left and centre, the family would be in jeopardy. But as his eyes looked upon his child, he could see too how lost Edward must be feeling. The teen had no experience of romantic attachment in his human life, and had gone so long as a the odd one out in their unusual family, that Carlisle knew he was always on red alert when it came to anything threatening his new found happiness with Bella. If only he could see that this time, the problem might be that very behaviour. The blond sighed and looked over at his charge once more.
"Calm yourself Edward" he said, raising his palms in a placating manner. " Let us just bring this down a notch or two. Talk to me if you can"
Edward's stance was still rigid, his hands curled defensively into fists, but somewhere in his clouded mind, he heard his father and battled to gain some control of himself once more. He pinpointed the one sound that calmed him like no other, and for a few moments focused on nothing but the thrum of Bella's heartbeat, closing his eyes against his surroundings and letting it soothe him like his own lullaby. It helped, and gradually he felt the panic lessen somewhat. He did not surrender his position by the window, nor did he relax his posture, ensuring he was ready to move if the situation demanded. But he did manage to open his eyes and look at his father again, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled a deep breath through his nose. After a few moment under Carlisle's concerned gaze and he managed to speak, his voice sounding far away and tight to his own ears
"...pp please Dad. I'll take whatever you have for me...you can sell the Volvo too if you like...but don't..I can't.."
He broke off, Carlisle at first thinking that his emotions had gotten too much for him again, but then he heard what had silenced his son. Determined footsteps, the telltale heartbeat drawing closer, until a soft knock sounded upon the solid oak door of the study. Edward froze, his eyes fixed upon the entrance, and then flashing back to his father in panic. He wondered if this part of Carlisle's plan, to actually have Bella witness his punishment as well as hear it. A frantic dip into his father's mind revealed that he was not expecting this interruption, and was a little displeased by it. Now Edward was confused. What was Bella doing?
Carlisle flashed Edward a scrutinizing look. Are you in control son? he inquired, waiting for the affirmative nod before indicating to Bella that she may enter. She did.. peeking round the door, hesitantly shooting her eyes over to Edward, who stared back, his brow furrowed. Carlise waited for Bella to step inside before looking at her questioningly.
"What can I do for you Bella?" he said, a little impatiently.
Bella chewed on her lip for a moment before she responded. " Alice said it would be OK for me to come and talk to you...I hope you don't mind?"
Carlisle's eyes narrowed a fraction. What was Alice up to? She must have seen something. He knew better than to second guess his all seeing daughter, and so gestured for Bella to take a seat on the chair that had been vacated by Edward. His eyes slid over to his son, who was still standing anxiously by the window, his hand tugging at his bronze locks, mussing it into even greater disarray than was its normal state. Calm down Edward, nothing is going to happen with Bella here.
The other vampire looked up sharply, his gaze questioning, and Carlisle nodded. Yes, you heard me right. I wont be punishing you in front of Bella. Or anyone else.
Even as he made the decision and thought it to Edward, he saw the tension leave the younger vampire. It wasn't the first time Carlisle had ever been swayed on his decided punishment, but such occasions were few and far between. As he watched the immediate change in his son, he hoped he had not made a mistake.
" We will continue this discussion later Edward" Carlisle said, fixing Edward with a level gaze before returning his attention to Bella who was oblivious to their silent dialogue. " Go on Bella" he encouraged "What is it you wished to discuss?"
He and Edward both turned their eyes upon the human girl, who flushed and seemed to wind herself up before she spoke.
"I...I don't want you to punish Edward like that" she blurted out, her blush deepening to an almost impossible red. " I know what he did was wrong...and I'm still mad at him.." she flashed her vampire boyfriend a dark look "..but I don't think he deserves to be..spanked like a child!"
When she looked up at the blond vampire, he was looking right back at her, his eyebrows raised, a serous look on his beautiful face.
"Bella, that's very noble of you. But how I discipline my children really isn't your concern. Edward knows that he has broken some rules, and he will be getting a spanking at a later date."
At this, Edward's head bowed, he had known it was wishful thinking to hope that his father would forgo his physical punishment entirely. And it still seemed like a pleasant alternative to what Carlisle had previously been considering. He looked up in surprise when Bella's voice rang out again.
" But..if he's losing his car...surely that is punishment enough?"
She wasn't brave enough to hold Carlisle's eyes for long, but even so Edward was amazed at how forward she was being. He was touched that she would do that for him, even when he had acted as he had. Of course, it was more than a little mortifying having his girlfriend and his father discuss him getting spanked right in front of him, but it could have been so much worse. So yeah, he would take that. He managed to catch her eye and offered her a tight lipped smile, the expression falling from his face as she shook her head slightly. Obviously he was still in the dog house.
Carlisle watched their exchange with a wry look upon his face. He wasn't overly surprised by Bella's behaviour. After all, this was the girl who had stood up to the Voltaire to save Edward. Small and delicate she may appear, but Carlisle knew that Bella had more steel than his son realised. And it appeared as though she was more prepared to stand up for herself since they had returned, which again was no bad thing. He shook his head a little.
"Nice try Bella, but you're not going to be able to talk him out of this one. But, as you're both here now...I would like to speak to you together. I hope we might be able to avoid this kind of situation again."
He paused to pull a chair over from the wall and placed it next to the one in which Bella was sitting, gesturing then for his son to sit. Edward did as he was bid, searching Carlisle's mind as to the direction of this impromptu meeting, but finding his way blocked by an effective mental shield. Warily, Edward lowered himself into the chair and waited for his father to reveal all. The older vampire settled himself on the opposite side of the desk and looked between the couple before he spoke again.
" I hope I don't need to tell either of you how important you are to this family" Carlisle began.
" Edward, you are my first child, and were my first companion in this life. And Bella, you are the girl who has finally brought happiness to my boy, and in doing so have made this family complete. I realise the last few weeks have been difficult, you have both had and still have a lot of issues to overcome, but I see some things between you that, if left to fester, could do more damage. I hope you wont mind me discussing them with you today...?"
He posed the last sentence as a question, looking between Bella and his son to try and judge their response to his words. Bella's brown eyes met his for a second and she nodded her consent, but Carlisle could sense Edward searching for hidden meaning behind his words, and could see his frustration at not knowing what was to come. After a long pause spent glaring at his father, Edward's impatience won over his hesitance.
"Go on.."
Carlisle nodded and began anew,
" Twice in the last month I have been given cause to step and in and modify your behaviour Edward" he said, raising a hand to silence his son as he opened his mouth in protest. " Both of these occasions have had some, if not all, of their origin in your response to Bella's actions, most recently, out of jealousy or lack of trust when she chooses to see Jacob"
"It's not jealousy" Edward interjected sharply, earning himself withering looks from both his father and his girlfriend. He huffed. " It's not...it's about Bella's safety.I can't protect you if you're with him!" He had turned sideways to face Bella, his eyes imploring. Bella looked back at him, a frown settling over her brows.
"On the reservation you mean? So you would be OK if I Jake visited me at home?"
Carlisle had to stop himself smiling at Bella's clever question, and he watched Edward purse his lips before replying.
"No Bella...because HE is dangerous. You shouldn't be friends with him."
"You told me the same about you Edward" Bella reminded him "and look how that.."
Edward cut her off " Yes, look how that turned out! You've had two attempts on your life, are now known to the most dangerous vampires in the world...I can barely protect you from my own kind Bella..you don't need to throw Werewolves into the mix as well.." He slumped back into his chair, misery written all over his face and Carlisle felt the need to interject
" Edward is right to be wary of the wolves Bella, it's in his nature, and they can be very volatile. But, from the sounds of it, you have spent a lot of time with Jacob Black and he has never given you reason to be afraid, is that so?" Bella nodded so Carlisle continued.
" That being the case Edward, you must trust Bella's judgment. You don't know Jacob well enough to make a call"
Edward was shaking his head "...I know him well enough to know it's not Bella's 'friendship' he's interested in..." he muttered, scowling at the floor. Carlisle was about to rebuke him when Bella got their first, her voice sharp as she jabbed an accusing finger at her vampire boyfriend.
"That right there...this is NOT about you wanting to protect me...its about you wanting to stop me seeing Jacob because you're jealous!" She spun to look at Edward, almost forgetting Carlisle's presence " It's not fair for you to spout off about my safety and treat me like a child when you're the one acting liking one. Jacob has been nothing.."
Once again, she was interrupted, as this time Edward got to his feet, pacing across the room and turning his back upon his audience. "Nothing but good to you. Nothing but you're best friend, nothing but the one person who got you through the last few months. EVERYTHING that I haven't been Bella. Of course he must seem like a better choice for you to make, but you can't expect me to stand back and let him steal you away from me...I've waited so long for you...I can't..." he trailed off, bowing his head and hunching his shoulders, fighting for control over his emotions.
Bella looked aghast at Carlisle who was looking sympathetically at his son. Still so much insecurity. Edward's reliance on his ability to know people's thoughts crippled him when it came to Bella. She was constantly affirming her love for him, but because he wasn't used to having to read situations and actions to know what people were thinking he missed the little indicators, and the big ones, well he was usually so wrapped up in castigating himself for whatever had led to the situation, such as Volterra, that he was oblivious to how Bella was demonstrating her love for him by even being there. With a sigh, Carlisle stood silently and slipped deftly from the room. Technically, Edward was still supposed to be under supervision whilst with Bella, but he was not a cruel man, and he could sense the couple's need for privacy. If Edward was willing to be a little vulnerable in front of Bella then maybe they could make some headway.
Bella sat for a moment, stunned by this little peek into Edward's inner psyche, surprised that he would actually think of Jacob as a threat to him. She got to her feet and hesitantly crossed the room until she was standing directly behind her vampire.
" I'm not going anywhere.." she whispered to his back " I'm going to become one of you Edward, so I never have to leave you. I don't know how else I can show you that I love you..." Bella's voice became choked at the end, and she placed a small hand on the taught muscles of Edward's back, reaching out to him. He responded to her non verbal request and turned, his face tight and his eyes glazed with a sheen of venom, taking her in his arms and pressing his face into her shoulder, inhaling her unique scent.
"I'm sorry Bella" came his muffled words " I feel like I'm screwing this up..I'm sorry"
Bella responded by snaking her own arms around his waist and pushing herself further into his embrace. Their physical intimacy, minimal as it was, had been severely compromised by the constant supervision, and she reveled in the cold hard planes of Edward's body that she had missed so much. Her boy was hurting, she could see that, and she wanted to take it away . He was usually looking after her and she hesitated, unsure what to do, eventually just giving in to her own desires in the hope it would be some kind of salve to him also. She pulled back enough to be able to press her lips to his, a gentle kiss, and looked into his eyes, turning his face to hers when he looked away
" I'm sorry too...for letting you feel like that. You have to know that you're it for me...I can't exist without you. I survived, yes, and Jake helped with that. But it wasn't living Edward. I'm only alive when I'm with you."
He kissed her back then, saying what he couldn't, an apology and a declaration, exclaimed through cool breath and ice kisses,all the while his hands tracing her curves as hers fisted in his hair. When he probed her lips with his tongue, requesting entry, Bella conceded, surprised that he was allowing things to get this far. He didn't stop there, moving them backwards until Bella's back was pressed against the wall, careful not to crush her with his weight. It was most unlike him, but Bella wasn't objecting. Instead she responded with feverish movements of her own, realising how much she had missed this.
Edward was aware of Bella's hot hands slipping under his shirt, of her heart racing and her breath coming faster. All these little signs that she wanted him, that she loved him. He basked in her warmth, his tongue sliding languidly against hers. He pulled away, only to kiss slowly downwards, pausing where neck met shoulder to suck a little, blood pooling under the skin to leave a purpling mark. It was caveman behaviour he knew, but it gave him smug satisfaction to know that Jacob would have a visible reminded of his presence when he next saw Bella. She tugged him closer again, about to press her own mouth against his when the door to the study abruptly opened. Both parties pulled apart guiltily, Edward wondering how on earth he had missed the approach of his father and coven leader, who was now standing with his arms crossed, looking singularly unimpressed.
