AN: In this story, Ke$ha does not exist, just tellin ya.

Disclaimer: I do not own any songs/characters except the characters i made up :)

Oh, and btw i have nothing against Ke$ha, shes like one of my fave singers. Oh and I dont own any Ke$ha songs!

We all went into the dining room to talk about my rockstar days, then we'd decide on whether or not Fred could stay.

"So, what is this about you being a rockstar?" Rob asked when we all got into the dining room.

"Well, I used to be a rockstar, what do you want to know about that...time...of my life?" I asked.

Emmett just HAD to interupt. "Oh! You're tellin' him about "those" days. Hey, Rob, you should know your girlfriend went through a crackheaded-alcoholic-whore stage in her life."

"I was not! I was just going through my rebellious stage! Ugh!" I grimaced. "Okay, so, about three or four years after I changed, I decided to pursue my music career, since I was more in control of my thirst. I went to Taylor Swift's Fifth farewell tour, and between songs, I got up on the stage, and started playing my guitar and singing, and BAM! Fame. So, I was in a...weird part of my life, and just, ya know...went kinda crazy for a while."

"Oh! You should show him some of your music videos!" Alice HAD to open her mouth. "Okay! I'll go get them! There probably up in that box under her couch marked 'Do Not Open Alice or Emmett!'!" She said and ran up the stairs, and was back in the blink of an eye with the box of my music videos and CDs. "Okay, let's go put 'em in!" She ran in the living room, everybody following in curiosity. Oh, great.

She put the DVDs in with my music videos in the DVD player and pressed play. No! Not Take It Off!

There's a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.

When the dark
Of the night comes around.
That's the time,
That the animal comes alive.
Looking for
Something wild.

And now we lookin' like pimps
In my gold Trans-Am.
Got a water bottle full of whiskey
In my handbag.
Got my drunk text on
I'll regret it in the mornin'
But tonight
I don't give a
I don't give a
I don't give a

There's a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

There's a place I know
If you're looking for a show.
Where they go hardcore
And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

Lose your mind.
Lose it now.
Lose your clothes
In the crowd.
We're delirious.
Tear it down
'Til the sun comes back around.

N-now we're getting so smashed.
Knocking over trash cans.
Eurbody breakin' bottles
It's a filthy hot mess.
Gonna get faded
I'm not the designated
Driver so
I don't give a
I don't give a
I don't give a

There's a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

There's a place I know
If you're looking for a show.
Where they go hardcore
And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

Oh, oh, oh!

EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!

Oh, Oh, Oh!

EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!

Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!

Oooh.

Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!

EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!

There's a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

There's a place I know
If you're looking for a show.
Where they go hardcore
And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

Alice didn't play a music video next, she played a song. Butterscotch, Wait! No!

My, my
My butterscotch, butterscotch
My butterscotch, butterscotch

Pop rocks, lemon drops, rollin' in my Tee
tops sugar rush, touch the stars
Dry eyes, delight, dancin' by the light, bright
Watch us how we break some hearts

So grab your gamma rays
Come to my masquerade
Its like a man parade
And now, 1 2 3, oh

[Chorus]
Boys all want my butterscotch
Lickin' their lips 'cause its top notch
No other bitch got what I got
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Boys from Memphis to Bangkok
Try to get keys to my candy shop
Linin' up 'round the block
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Chase it
Watch me how I make it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Wasted
Watch me how I shake it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch
My butterscotch, butterscotch

Tasers, lasers, alien invaders
Tell me that I'm out of this world
Casbah, so hot, burnin' down the -
No money can shut up this girl
So grab your gamma rays
Get with the masquerade
Bring on the man parade
And now, 1 2 3, oh

[Chorus]
Boys all want my butterscotch
Lickin' their lips 'cause its top notch
No other bitch got what I got
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Boys from Memphis to Bangkok
Try to get keys to my candy shop
Linin' up 'round the block
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Chase it
Watch me how I make it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Wasted
Watch me how I shake it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch

Boy, you're game is pre-historic
Scripted like you're Katie Couric
Girl Mcormick, you're a tourist
Got me bored, so here's the chorus

Chase it, chase it
Taste it, taste it, taste it

[Chorus]
Oh, boys all want my butterscotch
Lickin' their lips 'cause its top notch
Its top notch, its top notch
Their lickin' their lips 'cause its top notch
Boys all want my butterscotch
Lickin' their lips 'cause its top notch
No other bitch got what I got
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Boys from Memphis to Bangkok
Try to get keys to my candy shop
Linin' up 'round the block
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Chase it
Watch me how I make it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch
Wasted
Watch me how I shake it
Don't you wanna taste it
Taste it
My butterscotch, butterscotch

My butterscotch, butterscotch
My butterscotch, butterscotch

It got worse. Alice played a few more music videos, and way worse songs; Blah Blah Blah, Tik Tok, Your Love is my Drug, Dinosaur, Party at a Rich Dude's House, I Made Out with a Rockstar, and even...

Paris Hilton's Closet

my best friend sarah went to europe for the summer
my brother got kicked out of school; aw, bummer.
julian got laid in the back seat of a hummer and got arrested... like
mel gibson.

i read in the trades that the NYSNC boy is...
no way!

i threw up in paris hiltons closet
i got drunk and totally lose it
when i woke up, the first thing that i thought of was "oh MY reesa
those hot jimmy choos. hey paris, did i lose it on that pair too?"

celebutons work in the glamarazzi
should've told my story to the tabloids, took the money
takes alot to get kicked out of these parties
and almost get arrested... like mel gibson

i don't recall at all that i got like, fifty phone calls
omg is that true?

i threw up in paris hiltons closet
i got drunk and totally lose it
when i woke up, the first thing that i thought of was "oh no! reesa
with those hot gucci shoes. hey paris, did i lose it on that pair too?"

of all the stupid things i've done,
i'm the proudest of this bra.
but this ones the best!

i threw up in paris hiltons closet
i got drunk and totally lose it
when i woke up, the first thing that i thought of was "oh MY reesa
with those hot jimmy choos. and those manolos and pradas and
...chloes. and you sparkly dresses. hey paris! i saw the saaaame stuff
at target.

hey paris, whatcha gonna do?
i totally lost it, la la la la
you're not foolin me anymore
i saw the tag! i saw the tag!

i got drunk. so drunk!
tra la la,
tra la la la la.

She played more too! DUI, Run Devil Run, VIP, even Mr. Watson, and with every song, Emmett said stuff about Daisy Dukes, Jack, bad dental hygeine, and I'm pretty sure he even said something like, "God, how are you not in rehab? I never knew you were such a bad little girl; I'm very disappointed in you, Little Sister." He said while shaking his index finger at me.

"It was just a stage!"I said, while everyone had at least one of theses three expressions on their faces: (1) Shock (2) Disturbance (3) Smugness. I, myself, had the 'I'm never gonna live this down' look on my face. I grimaced.

After Alice showed/played every one of my songs, we went back into the dining room. Now it was time for...the vote.

"Okay, everybody's here, so we can vote, right?" Carlisle said.

We all mumbled yes'.

"Alright, I'll go first. I say yes, this world could always use more 'veg-heads' as Nathaniel says. Edward?" Carlisle said.

"No." He said, while seeing that Nessie was practically druling over Fred.

"Alright, Bella?"

"No."

"Okay. Esme?"

"Yes."She said, smiling.

"Emmett?"

"YES! This guy could make things fun around here for once!" Emmett said.

"Rose?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alice?"

She giggled mischieviously. "Yes."

"Jazz?"

"Whatever Alice said." He answered.

"Nessie?"

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!"

"Okay, Haley?"

"Yup!" I said.

I'd decided that it would probably be more fun with a guy with THIS power around here. It's sure to make Valentine's Day interesting.

"Wait, don't you guys think you should get to know him a little? I mean, you don't know if he has enough self-control to actually just change diets so fast. He could be dangerous, you don't know anything about him, he could be lying, or have a power to brainwash people. Ya, know, you should kick him out of the house, he could be dangerous; he drinks human blood, he could be unpredictable, he might hurt someone!" Rob said.

"You drink human blood, and we still let you in." Scoffed Rosalie. "Awe, you're jealous that Fred made your little girlfriend love him, and that she voted yes!"

"Ugh, Rosalie! I'm not jealous of him." He replied.

"Okay, okay, break it up." I said and looked over to Fred. "Well, Freddy, you look pretty thirsty, I'd say it's time for your first hunt. Jiraurd people, you guys wanna come too?"

Nathaniel scoffed in his gay way. "Ugh, if we don't, you're just going to make us."

"Psht, I can't believe you think I'd do that!" i said sarcastically.

"Yeah, we'll go. We've been discussing turning to the light side, even though it doesn't have cookies." Danielle said.

"Really? That's great! All in favor of the Jiraurd's becoming veg-heads, say cheese!" I said.

Everybody said cheese, but then asked where the camera was. Ugh, they're hopeless, sometimes.

"Yes! Finally! Everbody agrees with me ON THEIR OWN! Today cannot get any better!" I said.

"Well, we'd better get going, before the animals go to sleep." Edward said. "Let's see if you can handle it." Edward said, glaring at Fred.

"Why is he lookin' at me like that?" Fred whispered to me.

"Oh, it's not a big deal." I said, trying not to giggle.

"Wait, you're not taking us hunting for penguins in Antarctica, are you? Yes, Bella told us about that. Well, she didn't tell us, but we found her diaries. Did you guys know that she has four huge diaries full of stuff that's happened to you guys, even before she and Eddie got together?" Danielle said.

Bells looked reeeeeally embarrassed, then said, "No, we're just going for elk and deer in the woods."

"Ugh! Come on, guys! I'm thirsty!" Nessie said.

"This outta be good." Laughed Rosalie.

Then we all ran out the door into the forest.