***Your reviews really make my day. Thanks so much! Had a slow weekend, so I got a lot of writing done. Of course, the disclaimer still stands.***
After the pot debacle, Chris found herself once again banished to the wheelhouse. If she was ever a producer and supposed to sit up here, she'd feel like she was a 4-year-old being stuck in the corner day after day. Andy seemed thankful to have her back up there instead of on deck, where things suddenly looked a lot more dangerous than they had just 48 hours ago. John was feeling a bit overprotective after that extremely close call, and he'd actually suited up and gone on deck. He wasn't actually doing much work, but it was no different than having him sitting around the wheelhouse. Today, Chris was actually glad to not have him up there. Despite what had almost happened in the kitchen, Andy was the one person on this boat she could really talk to about what was racing through her mind.
"Mike told me he loved me," she blurted out into the silence. Andy visible lurched but refused to let any emotion show on his face.
"Did…" he stopped when his voice cracked, swallowed, and tried again. "Did he? When?"
"After the dive. He was…" she balked at how to get the details out, and the fact that Andy wasn't looking at her made it that much harder. "He let me sleep on his bed instead of crashing in the galley, you know? And I was mostly asleep, and he just kind of whispered it. I don't think he even wanted me to hear it, so I didn't say anything."
Andy finally looked at her, letting out a sigh. "Are you not sure yet?"
Chris opened her mouth and looked up at the ceiling as she thought. "No," she decided finally, "I have no idea. Mike's a sweetie, but I don't know if I love him or not. I mean, if I did, I wouldn't…" she trailed off and shook her head, and Andy seemed content letting the conversation die. She wasn't, though. "I almost kissed you, Andy."
"Don't," he shook his head and focused on the deck. "You shouldn't think about that."
"How do I not?" she exclaimed. "I think about you more than I should. When you pulled me away from that pot...I'd still be holding onto you if John hadn't mentioned the dive."
"Chrissy," Andy shook his head, "stop. I'm not the guy for you. We're too honest for me to bullshit you, and I always want us to be this open. That's why I gotta say that you should let me go."
"Why?" she snapped. "You have more hold over me than Mike does, Andy. And I'm really torn here, because he's this sweet, funny guy that really wants me around, but you're this…strange, strong man that I don't understand, that drives me completely insane."
"I'll make it easy," Andy said scratchily, keeping his eyes looked on his crew. "Mike's the guy for you. He's the better man. He'd do anything for you. If he was in this wheelhouse, and you were on land and needed him, he'd turn this whole ship around just to get back to you. Me? I wouldn't do that. I'd be worried as hell, but I'd stay out here because those guys," he nodded towards his crew, "and this boat, they will always come first. I let you go on that dive when I should have been the first one ordering you not to. You'll always be first in Mike's heart. I can't give you that."
"Bullshit," Chris spat out, shaking both from anger and the struggle to keep in her tears. She couldn't be even half as emotionless as Andy was right now, and that was just pissing her off more. "You're just making up stupid excuses to push me away because you're so damn afraid of letting someone in. You tell me all these crazy personal things when no one else is around, things I know you haven't told them to anyone else, and that terrifies you. And, honestly, it terrifies me, too. So, yeah, you're right, Andy. Mike is the better man." He snapped his head around to face her as she leapt to her feet and glared at him. "But not for all the bullshit reasons you gave me. Mike's the better man because he will always fight for me instead of running away with his tail between his legs."
She wanted to say more, to scream and curse and cry, but she wasn't going to do that. Andy's face was unreadable, but she saw in his eyes that her words had hurt him more than she'd meant them to. That didn't make her feel any better, and the wheelhouse didn't really feel big enough for the both of them anymore. Without another word, she grabbed her camera and stormed out. Don would just have to go up there. She couldn't deal with this shit anymore.
"Yeah, I know, but…yeah, but Donny's…I'm not trained…Jeff, I don't know…ugh, fine, my lord, I'll be the damn producer for king crab. Get off my back!"
Mike laughed to himself when Chris flipped off Don as they stood on the docks of Dutch Harbor, using a real phone to speak to their box. The producer on the Northwestern had scored a job filming a documentary in the Caribbean, and Don was bumping over to his old boat as a replacement. Apparently, Chris was going to be his less-than-thrilled replacement.
Mike smiled to himself right up until he reached the wheelhouse steps, where he hesitated at the sight of Johnathon coming down.
"Andy up there?"
"Yup," John nodded. "You're not getting a raise. Or the boat."
"Well, hot damn, I'll just fly home now," Mike sighed in defeat. John hissed out a laugh and smacked his deckhand's shoulder as he headed towards the galley.
"Good season, Fourtner. See ya' at the Elbow Room."
"Yup," Mike muttered, mustering the courage to climb the steps. He wasn't really sure why he was doing this. Andy glanced at him as he leaned over his notebook of crab numbers.
"Hey, Fourtner. John's going to get the final numbers now. We'll do checks tomorrow."
"Yeah…no, I figured," Mike nodded, looking out the wheelhouse window at Chris and Don on the docks. Some other people had joined them, presumably more cameramen and producers, and they all seemed to be laughing at Chris's "troubles". Don shrugged and said something that got Chris poking his chest and gesturing wildly. This earned her more laughs and a few pats on the back, which only got her more wound up.
"You've got a good woman down there," Andy said, casting the smallest of glances to the dock before returning to his notebook.
"I know I do," Mike nodded. Now was the time to bring up what had been bothering him ever since the dive several days ago. Ever since he'd seen the look that had passed between Chris and Andy before she went under. "I'm a lucky guy."
"Yeah," Andy mumbled. "…You are. You treat her right, okay?"
"I will," Mike assured him. "The distance is gonna be rough, but…we'll figure something out."
"You'll be fine," Andy assured him, looking back out at Chris, who was now laughing along with the others. "What's a couple months apart, right?"
"Ain't nothing as far as I'm concerned. As long as she still thinks I'm the guy for her, you know? Distance has a way of…putting stuff in perspective."
"What're you saying?" Andy frowned, setting his pencil down. He shifted his weight to lean on his notebook and turn to face Mike. Mike shrugged and tried to remember the speech he'd practiced earlier.
"I'm saying…I dunno…Chris is an amazing woman. I couldn't blame any guy that was interested in her. And…there are better men out there than me...Captain. I don't want to lose her, obviously, but if she finds someone that makes her happier than I can…"
"I wouldn't worry about that," Andy cut him off sharply, turning back to the notebook. "She cares about you. Anyone can see that. And any guy that would get in the way of that, he's not a better man."
Mike shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. "Yeah, well, some people don't see it that way."
"I do," Andy said definitively. "And you should, too. You have nothin' to worry about. Now, go tell her we're leaving in an hour for the Elbow Room. It'll probably take her that long to get ready."
Mike opened his mouth to say something else, but Andy had completely turned his back to mess with something at the command consol. Their indirect, completely failed man-to-man was over, and it was clearly not to be reopened. Ever. He paused in the doorway, though and turned back to his captain.
"I don't know how to explain all this to her. With the boats. She's gonna freak."
"You'll figure it out," Andy shook his head. "The time'll come."
