Previously…..
He turned back to watching where Donna continued to dance. She had changed partners and was now coupled with Lysarion, Kyla's great-great grandson. Almost to himself, he continued, "She grounds me, and supports me. She keeps me honest, in check."
"And you love her," Kyla stated simply.
Chapter Eleven – Plain Truths amid the Fond Farewells
"Oh, yes," he breathed, not realizing he had spoken aloud. Seeing Kyla's lips twitch into a small smile, he immediately began to backtrack and clarify. "What? No! I mean….well….yes, but not….it's just…." He ran his hand over his face and sighed. "It's complicated."
"Oh, don't be daft," Kyla replied, dismissively. "Ya love her. What's so complicated about that?"
He shook his head. "You don't understand."
"Then enlighten me."
He sighed again, deeply. He knew she would not let it rest until he explained. Not looking at her, his eyes still on the graceful form of his companion who was now part of a group engaged in a rather intricate folk dance, he began slowly. "When I first met Donna, I asked her to come with me. And she turned me down. She wasn't ready and frankly, looking back, I probably wasn't either. I had just lost a dear friend and hadn't dealt with it yet."
He took a sip of wine before he continued. "But before she went, Donna said something that startled me. She told me to find someone, that I needed someone to keep me from going too far. And then I met Martha. Lovely girl. But see, Martha wanted something from me that I wasn't able to give her. And I hurt her. Deeply." He lowered his eyes and gazed into his glass. "I regret that."
Kyla sat and listened silently. She knew instinctively he would proceed when he was ready. She drank slowly and watched the dancers.
Finally, the Doctor recovered from the painful memory. He continued his story. "I travelled on my own a while, not really up to dealing with other people on a day-to-day basis. But then Donna sought me out. She actually went looking for me! And found me! It was amazing, really." He smiled at the thought. "Anyway, after a bit of an adventure, she kind of invited herself on board. And, while part of me leapt at the chance, another part was afraid I was so overjoyed to have her back in my life that I'd bollocks it all up. Donna hadn't had the best of it in her social life and I, well, let's just say I had some...issues... with relationships. So, coward that I am, I told her I just wanted a mate, a friend, someone to share adventures with."
He paused, steeling himself against the tide of emotion that his next admission would evoke. "And she vehemently agreed. Said she wasn't having any of 'that nonsense'. She wanted nothing to do with this 'long streak of alien nothing', she called me."
He stopped and swallowed, trying to push down the lump that had formed in his throat as he remembered that day. "So you see. Even if I did….feel….something, and I'm not saying I do, it wouldn't matter. She's not interested. She just wants to be friends. And she is. She is my friend, my very best friend. I haven't had a best friend in, well, centuries, and I will not do anything to jeopardize that!"
"Theta," she chuckled softly. "Are ya blind as well as daft?! Haven't ya seen the way she looks at ya?"
The Doctor shot her a sharp glance sideways. He couldn't bring himself to believe what she said could be true. "I can't take that chance," he stated flatly. "It's too big a risk. I would rather have a part of her in my life than none at all. I won't scare her off. I can't."
Kyla could tell that there was nothing more to be gained by pursuing this further. She wisely decided to take a different tack. Finishing the last of her wine, she put the glass down and said casually, "Well, at least go dance with the girl."
She was startled to see his eyes grow cold and his lips tighten. "I don't dance," he stated flatly.
"What? Never?!" she asked, dumbfounded.
"No," he replied. "Not really. Not like that. And especially not with her."
Kyla turned to him and cried, "Aw, Theta. What happened to ya?"
He rounded on her and snarled. "You know exactly what happened to me! You left!"
She shook her head. "I had to. Ya know that."
"No, I don't. I don't know anything of the sort."
"But I wrote to ya. Didn't ya get my letter?"
"Oh, yes," he laughed derisively. "I got that pathetic excuse for a goodbye. Didn't you know it would tear me apart!? Not seeing you again?" He leaned in closer to her and cried, "I was going to ask you to marry me!"
She reached up and touched his cheek. "I know."
He sat up abruptly, and she dropped her hand. "What? You knew? Then why? How could you leave?"
She gave him a sad smile. "I had to. I told you that." Reaching for his hand, she continued. "Suppose. Just suppose, that somehow ya'd been able to convince yer parents, andthe High Council, to let you, the eldest son of a prominent Time Lord family, marry the fruit girl. Then what?"
He looked at her, confused by the question. "We would have been happy?" he asked sarcastically.
"Perhaps. Ya would have finished the Academy for certain, probably with honours. We would have married and had the requisite number of children allotted to us. Eventually, ya would have taken yer father's seat on the Council. Maybe even become President." He huffed, thinking about the irony of her words. "But you would have been just Theta. And I'm sorry. I don't mean ta be cruel. But the Universe didn't need Theta. The Universe needs the Doctor!"
This was the last thing he expected to hear her say. He pulled his hand away and clenched his fists. "You don't know what you're talking about. The Doctor?" he scoffed. "No one needs the Doctor. I've done terrible things, Kyla. Monstrous things."
She reached out to him again. "I know what ya've done, Theta. I know about Gallifrey."
He stared at her, wide eyed. "How?" It turned his stomach, knowing that she was aware of his failure and unpardonable actions.
She shook her head. "It's not important. I know ya did what had to be done. And that no one else could have done it. Ya stopped the War and kept all existence from being snuffed out. Think, Theta. Think about all the planets ya saved, the people ya've helped. Look around ya. Look at 'em all, the riders and the dragons. What would have happened ta them if ya hadn't come? And Earth. Ya love that planet, I know ya do. How many times have ya saved them from invasion?" She moved closer and said softly. "And what about Donna? What would have become of her, if she had never met the Doctor?" She cupped his cheek again and whispered, "Don't ya see? It was always bigger than just Theta and Kyla. I said ya had a destiny. And this is it."
He gazed deeply into her eyes and saw nothing but care and concern. He reached up and covered her hand. "Will it ever be my turn to be happy, Kyla?" he asked mournfully.
Taking his hands in hers, she smiled softly and said, "Happiness is a lot closer than ya think. Ya just have ta be willin' to take the risk."
He was saved from having to respond to this by the sudden appearance of Donna, who rushed over to where the Doctor and Kyla sat. She was slightly out of breath and her face was flushed from the exertion of dancing.
And he thought she had never looked more beautiful.
She curtsied with a grin to Kyla. "Incredible party!" she enthused. "Absolutely fantastic! And the music is amazing! And the dancing! Thank you so much." She turned and faced the Doctor. "Oh, Doctor, you made it! I'm so glad!" she exclaimed. "I wasn't sure you would."
He laughed and replied, "I promised, didn't I?"
"Yeah, well, I know how wrapped up you get." She grabbed his wine glass and took a drink, flashing him a wide grin. "Have you eaten yet?" She didn't even let him answer before she dragged him out of his chair. Turning to Kyla, she grinned and said, "Sorry! But this silly git would forget to eat if I didn't keep shoving food in front of him!" She then proceeded to tow him across the floor toward the buffet tables. Kyla's laughter rang out behind them, and she watched with a rueful smile and a shake of her head, praying that her friend would open his eyes (and his hearts) and see what was right in front of him.
They spent the remainder of the evening nibbling on the delectable food that Dallaria had prepared and sipping the wonderful pomegranate wine, watching the dancing. Donna tried to coax the Doctor onto the dance floor, but he was polite yet quite firm in his refusal. She knew how stubborn he could be, and sensed that there was more to his reluctance, so she gave up after a few tries and just remained by his side, swaying to the music.
Since she knew that the Doctor would want to leave in the morning, she said her goodbyes to the queen riders, taking Maggie aside for a private, if tearful, conversation. She told the young girl she would never forget her, and promised they would return to visit when they could. Donna also sought Dallaria out to thank her for her hospitality and was surprised when the cook pressed something into her hand. It was a small book bound in green dragon hide. Donna opened it and a smile slowly spread across her face.
"It's all the old traditional recipes I could remember," Dallaria stated. "I thought you could use them to fatten up that young man of yours."
Donna didn't even try to disabuse her of the notice that the Doctor was her 'young man'. She knew from experience that people never believed them when they denied the assumptions about their relationship. She threw her arms around the older woman and hugged her. "Thank you so much," she exclaimed. "I'm sure he'll appreciate your kindness. He does love his food!"
Finally, as the festivities began to wind down, Donna and the Doctor took their leave of Kyla and dragon riders, stating their intention to return to his ship in the morning. Kyla assured them she would have dragons ready to take them back to the hill on which the TARDIS stood. "Hopefully, she'll let ya in, this time," she smirked. The three of them laughed and the Doctor and Donna made their way out of the pavilion.
They walked back toward their quarters in silence, lost in their own thoughts. When Donna stumbled slightly, the Doctor instinctively took her arm and wrapped it around his, and they continued, arm in arm, Donna leaning slightly into his side, and the Doctor smiling to himself.
They awoke early the next morning and watched 'Dragonflight' one last time. They stood in their usual positions, Donna wrapped in a blanket and the Doctor slightly behind her, his arm across her shoulder. She leaned into him, absorbing his warmth and feeling the comfort of his solid chest. As dawn broke and the dragons filled the sky, she sighed. "I'm really going to miss this place," she said softly.
Without thinking, he kissed the top of her head, pulled her in closer, and replied, "We'll come back. I promise."
She turned her head and grinned at him. "Good to hear, Sunshine," she smirked. "Since I already told Maggie we would!"
After a quick breakfast of coffee and pastries, Donna finished her packing and set about checking the suite, making sure nothing was being left behind. She had carefully stowed the needlework she had made for her family and gathered her suitcases, stacking them near the door along with the Doctor's two satchels. She was just about to call down to the front desk, when the door chime rang out. Opening the door, she was surprised to see both Brillaria and Haldarel, the young woman fairly bouncing with excitement.
"We've come to see you off," she exclaimed. "We both begged for the privilege!"
Haldarel stood quietly, trying to maintain a more reserved demeanour. "We are to help you with your bags, my Lady. And to escort you to the landing area where the dragons await to take you to your ship," he stated.
Donna stifled a grin at the young man's formality. "Thank you both for your assistance," she responded in kind. "We won't be but a moment." She walked back into the lounge and called out, "Doctor! They've come for us. Are you ready?"
The Doctor walked out of his room, his overcoat unbuttoned. Donna caught a glimpse of something white underneath and frowned. "What have you got on under your coat, Time Boy?"
He flushed a little and quickly reached for the top button. "Oh, no, you don't," Donna cried and trod over to him, stopping his hand. She moved the fabric aside and stared. "Oh, my god."
He grabbed his coat front from her hand. "What?" he asked innocently. "It's my scientist tunic. They told me I could keep it. It's cool!"
She huffed. "It's not cool. It's filthy. And it's scorched!" Seeing the sheepish but disappointed look on his face, she relented. "Oh, alright. Maybe I can get the TARDIS to clean it up and repair it. Now, come on. We shouldn't keep everyone waiting."
Haldarel and Brilliaria insisted on carrying their bags for them, and led them out of the guest quarters and into the courtyard. It had the makings of a lovely day, bright sun, fluffy clouds, warm breezes and the smell of spring in the air. As they exited the main gate of the Citadel, they were surprised to see not two but three dragons awaiting their arrival. Korsarion and Setarion ran up to take their luggage from them to stow in the storage compartments on Korioth and Serioth.
The third dragon was Lyrioth, and beside him stood his rider Lysarion, and someone they didn't expect, but should have. Kylarion walked over to the two travellers and, noting their amazement, smirked and said, "Ya didn't think ya'd get away that easily, now did ya?"
The Doctor grinned. "Never crossed our minds!" he exclaimed.
After a quick farewell to Brillaria and Haldarel, they all quickly geared up and mounted. The dragons took them on a roundabout flight, giving them an aerial tour of Pendragora, one last look at the planet they had worked so hard to save. They were amazed at the improvement they could already see in the landscape from the solutions the Doctor had prepared. The discoloured patches were smaller and less frequent.
All too soon, they arrived at the base of the hill on which the TARDIS stood. It had been two months since they had last seen her, and the Doctor breathed a sigh of relief when he caught sight of her. Although he had never really been without psychic contact with her, he was glad to have physical proximity again.
They had barely touched down, when Donna deftly dismounted and threw her arms as far as she was able around the massive neck of her dragon. 'Oh, Korioth!' she thought. "Thank you so much! You and Korsarion were so wonderful to me.' The dragon began to thrum loudly and Donna laughed to feel it against her body. One word echoed strongly in her mind: Loved. She hugged him again and replied, 'I love you too, big guy!'
She turned back to his rider and handed him her flight gear. Korsarion grinned at her and said under his breath, "That's not what he meant, you know."
Donna smiled at him and said, "Sorry. I didn't catch that."
"Nothing," he replied, shaking his head. Reaching back into the storage compartment, he took out a large bundle and handed it to her.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Just a little something from Maggie and the queens. To thank you for all you've done."
Donna removed the paper wrapping, revealing a wooden box inlaid with strips of Mother of Pearl, copper, silver and other coloured metals, making the intricate shapes that she now recognized as Gallifreyan script. She ran her finger over the figures and looked up at Korsarion, her eyes slightly damp with emotion.
The young dragon rider smiled. Pointing to the top set of shapes, he said, "This is your name. And this," pointing to the second set, "says 'Dragon Friend'. Open it."
Donna flipped up the bronze latch and gasped. Inside she found pieces of fabric, silks and cottons, and a variety of threads and yarns in every colour and weight imaginable, everything she would need to continue the needlework that the queens had taught her. She was touched and impulsively threw one arm around his neck and hugged him tightly. He laughed to hide the flush that tinged his cheeks, and he hugged her back.
After a few moment, she stepped back and wiped her eyes. "Tell them all that I will never forget you, any of you. With every stitch, I will be reminded of each one of you and this amazing place."
She put the box down gently on her suitcase and touched his cheek. "Korsa, you are a very handsome young man, and a great dragon rider. Any woman would be thrilled to have you as a mate." She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "You may want to spend some more time with your sister. Something tells me a certain new queen might not be adverse to your attentions."
Korsarion stared at her, not quite believing what he was hearing. "Jenne? You think she likes me?"
Donna smiled broadly. "Oh, I think the chances are quite good."
While Donna and Korsarion conversed, the Doctor and Kylarion were saying their own goodbyes. For a long moment, they just stood and looked at each other, the Doctor not quite sure what he wanted to say. Finally, Kyla broke the silence. "Theta," she said simply.
The Doctor took a deep breath and smiled ruefully. "At least this time I get a proper goodbye, Kyla."
She shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder. "I know I hurt ya in the past. And I'm sorry. But I don't regret a minute of the time we had back then."
"Neither do I."
"And I'm glad I sent that message, draggin' ya here against yer will."
He smiled more broadly. "Me too." He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. "I missed you so much for so long. Thinking you were dead nearly destroyed me. Now, at least, I know you are safe and happy."
They hugged for a few more moments and then stepped away. Kyla placed her hands on his hearts. "There's a lot of room in there, ya know. Ya've got two hearts. Makes sense ya should be usin' 'em."
"Kyla," he warned.
"I'm asking ya to think about it, that's all. Humour an old woman." She grinned at him, but became serious almost immediately. "Ya deserve ta be happy too, Theta. And it's so much closer than ya want ta see. Take a chance. The result may surprise ya."
"Kyla, please. I can't," he cried.
"Just think about it. It can't hurt anything to think, can it?"
"I don't know…" he waivered.
"Promise me."
He knew, deep down, that her words had already reawakened a tiny spark, the merest hint of a speck, of a hope he had tried desperately to supress. Making her that promise would only serve to remind him that, despite her assurances, his fondest wish was only a dream, never to be realized. But he also knew he couldn't refuse her anything. So he nodded and said quietly, "I promise to try."
Kyla looked up at him fondly. "That's all a person can ask for."
She stretched up on her tip-toes with the intention of kissing his cheek. Impulsively, at the last second, he turned his head and their lips met. The Doctor noticed at once that this kiss was unlike the one he had thought about so many times in the past. His hearts didn't do the funny little flip he remembered. Rather, they were filled with a warmth, a feeling of familiarity and friendship, rather than passion. The difference between the memory and the reality startled him.
He stepped back from her slightly, staring down at her. She smiled knowingly and said, "Time marches on, Time Lord."
"Indeed it does, Matromna," he replied, bowing deeply. "Indeed it does."
Kyla laughed joyously. "Now, go on with ya! We can't stand around here all day. These dragons have work to do." She waved to Donna and called out to her, "Take care of this one for me, will ya?"
"Can't leave him to his own devices, can I?" Donna called back. She watched as the Matromna of the planet Pendragora mounted the great dragon Lyrioth, and she and her escorts took to the sky, Korioth trumpeting loudly in tribute to the two time travellers.
The Doctor stood gazing at them until they entered the clouds and were lost to his sight. Then he took a deep breath, picked up his bags and turned back toward his companion.
"Are you alright, Spaceman?" Donna asked, when he returned to her side.
He gave her a lopsided grin and a wink. "Eh, you know me. I'm always alright." He threw his right arm over her shoulder and kissed her left temple. "Come on, Donna. Let's go home."
