Chapter Eleven: Just Married

Elphaba woke to Fiyero mumbling in his sleep. "Well, that's attractive," she muttered, hitting him with a pillow.

He jumped. "What?"

"You were saying things in your sleep."

"I should've warned you about that," he smiled.

"I think I can get used to it." She giggled good-naturedly and thought for a moment. Elphaba gazed at him and realized that not once in the past twenty-four hours had she thought about why she'd agreed to marry him in the first place. It wasn't hard to remember, though.

"I love you," he told her.

She sat up more and looked around. "This room is a mess."

"That reminds me. A promise is a promise." Fiyero grabbed for something on the bedside table and rang for the servants. When one came in he said, "I want the wall here knocked down and the other bed gone. Once we get out of bed," he glanced at Elphaba, "if we get out of bed, move this to the middle of what the room will be without the wall. And clean up the floors."

Voices echoed from the hallway. "Yes, mistress, they're awake."

Fiyero's mother appeared in the doorway. Stiffly, she said, "Good morning."

Elphaba let Fiyero pull her back down on the bed and back under the blankets. "Um, good morning."

Fiyero made it very clear that he wanted Elphaba in his bed and that she would stay there before saying, "Good morning, Mother."

Benita nodded at them. "How was your night?"

Fiyero kissed Elphaba on the cheek and replied, "Wonderful. Right, Fae?"

"Yeah." Elphaba stuck her nose in the air. She couldn't help feeling proud that she was happy and had, so far, proved the woman's terrible ideas wrong. "It was great."

"I trust you two were comfortable?" Benita inquired.

Elphaba snuggled up to Fiyero. "Very."

Fiyero laughed and pressed his nose against Elphaba's. She gave him a look, reminding him his mother was still there. He looked back up at his mother. "Mother, can we be alone?"

Benita muttered something and turned away to walk down the hallway. Several servants came in and were cleaning or began working on the wall.

"What did she say?" Fiyero wondered.

"You don't want to know." Elphaba's face was a sight to be seen.

"Oh, come on, Fae."

"You really think you want to know?"

"Just tell me."

"It sounded like 'swallow next time, don't spit,'" Elphaba admitted.

Fiyero choked. "Are you serious?"

"That's what I heard…"

He sighed. "That was out of line."

"I think she knows that."

Benita did know that, very well. She had no questions as to what the mess in Fiyero's bedroom was from. But she'd had to say it; it was practically a rule… at least, for her. However, it seemed the couple was constantly breaking all of those rules.

Running into his wife in the hall, Pulino stopped her. "What is the matter now?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying. You've been nothing but angry for the past three weeks since Fiyero was married."

"I just don't like the girl, okay? We've gone over this."

"He seems to like her."

"Since when has that mattered in a marriage?" Benita demanded.

Pulino turned away. "It mattered to him."

"I can't stand it. All the giggling always coming from their room every time I pass by is driving me crazy! They got rid of the other bed and the wall now and that room is huge. It certainly sounds like they're taking advantage of all of that space. But for Oz's sake, it's making me ill." Benita snapped.

"He's happy. Fiyero has never been this happy, Benita. What is the problem?"

Benita thought about asking him why he cared, but such language was inappropriate and she knew that. So she lied. "I guess I'll just miss my son."

"You have twenty other kids and another one coming. Big deal."

Thank Oz they'd gotten rid of the "women mustn't speak unless instructed to do so" rule three decades ago. She grabbed his arm. "Are you saying they're no different?"

"Sometimes, I really do think so." He shrugged her off and walked down the hall.

Benita stood there, gaping at her husband's figure as he retreated. At that moment, she was absolutely positive she was glad she'd put that hand in towards raising Fiyero differently.

"I think we'd better finish packing," Elphaba gave Fiyero a look.

Fiyero grumbled, having just sat down. "Well, I think we've spent too much time out of bed."

Elphaba laughed. "You have had one thing on your mind for the past three weeks and I hate to tell you, the honeymoon's over. We have to go back to school."

"I don't care about sex," he protested, "I'm just tired."

"You're only tired because you're used to sleeping all day or not getting out of bed. Well, getting out of bed, sometimes, but not doing any strenuous activity… other than sex."

"It's good exercise."

"Shut up," she threw one of his shirts at him. "I know you don't like this, but you've got to do it."

"I know." Fiyero got up again and fumbled through his drawers. "It'll be nice to get away from my parents, though."

Elphaba wasn't going to say anything. She felt it rude to insult someone in their own home and she'd said enough already. Passing him on her way from the bed where her bags were to the closet, she kissed him on the cheek quickly.

"I don't want to do any work," Fiyero was not done complaining.

"Tell you what, we have the entire three days of the train ride to sleep. Once we head out of here, we can sleep all we want."

"That sounds good."

"You are so lazy." Elphaba observed.

"Don't tell anyone. It's a secret," he kidded.

And so they were headed back to Shiz. The train ride was uneventful, well, as uneventful as their honeymoon had been. It consisted of constant sleeping and fevered sex, with the occasional meal. Elphaba was more eager than Fiyero to return to Shiz, though that was hardly a surprise.

He reached for her as he slept and found that she wasn't there. Irritably, he opened his eyes and sat up to find her sitting in the window seat reading her life sciences book. "What in Oz are you doing?"

"It's past noon, Fiyero. I just thought I'd get a little work done. Just because we've taken final exams doesn't mean we can forget everything. We have another semester."

"Don't remind me, please."

Elphaba dug through her bag and threw a book at him. "Read. I don't want you to fail."

"Since when have you become my nanny?"

"Since we're married. Now can we please just sit and read in a nice, peaceful silence?"

"I have a better idea. Let's have some nice, peaceful sex."

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm afraid I'll have to decline. We get back tonight, Fiyero. Classes start the day after tomorrow."

"So we can have sex all day tomorrow?"

Elphaba stuck her tongue out. "I love your selective hearing."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just don't want to study. There are many things that sound much better right now."

"Aren't there always?" She rolled her eyes. "Work."

"I married a robot." Fiyero pretended to say to himself. "My parents secretly planted some sort of crazy technology in my wife's brain so she could turn into a raving teacher when I act up."

"Fiyero, stop that." Elphaba put down her book and moved towards the bed. "Nothing you say is going to get me back into that bed very soon."

"I don't know. I could say some pretty appealing things if I didn't have some tact."

"That would be inappropriate."

"To my wife?"

"Yes, to me, your wife. I don't enjoy dirty talk."

"I could make it sound better."

"Sweet talk only works during sex, Fiyero, not to get me to have sex, I thought you'd figured that out." Elphaba put her hands on her hips.

Fiyero grabbed her arm and pulled her down onto the bed. "But Fae, I love you. It'll only take a little while."

"How long is a little while?"

"That's up to you. It can be as long as you want; I can hold back until you've gotten what you wanted, twice, three times…"

"Fiyero, get your hand out of my dress now!"

"I really liked it when you weren't wearing anything under stuff."

"That's only when I go to bed, Fiyero."

"Well, aren't we about to?"

"No." She stood up again and found herself tripping over Fiyero's shorts on the floor. "Damn gravity."

"Gravity knows you belong lying down right now." Fiyero grinned mischievously.

Elphaba looked at the book by the window. "Oh, dear. I think I hurt my arm. I can't turn pages now. I think I must get back into bed, since there's nothing else to do."

Elphaba's arm proved to be just fine.