Thanks to nightcap. I appreciate the try.


Chapter 11

It was with the dawn that Josef finally abandoned his vigil outside Beth's door.

He had drawn her bath, and watched her use the shower, had warmed her towels, when she chose to dry herself in a robe. He sat beside her as she ate a small bowl of soup, and offered her wine as she reached for brandy. He watched with profound sadness as she removed the wedding band from her finger, and heard its dull clink as she laid it upon the marble table beside the bed, the only sound in the midst of the inexorable silence that lay like a shroud of fog upon them.

She still had not spoken a word as she climbed into bed, turning away from him and drawing the covers up closely around her face. Even when her breathing settled into the regular rhythm of sleep, he sat beside her, until his isolation from her became unbearable, and he settled for listening carefully as he sat on the floor outside her bedroom door until dawn.

Josef had to believe that rest and time would heal whatever damage she had suffered, and bring her back to herself, and to him.

The alternative was unthinkable.


Mick remained at the 'clinic' with Coraline throughout the night, watching her grow stronger, until her physical wounds were nothing but a memory. Most of them, anyway, as Lance had been sure to spoil her perfection, leaving a double scar underlining the fleur de lis tattoo on her shoulder. He could only imagine how she'd felt, helpless and alone, as Lance had sliced those scars into the human Coraline. She had endured these months of torture to save his life, and he was not certain he could repay her. Because even as he sat beside the freezer in which she slept, his thoughts drifted unbidden to Beth.

He had known there would be a price paid for her involvement in their plan, but he had assumed it would be only the aftermath of unwanted sex that she, that they, would have to deal with. That she would use pure vampire evil, the gleeful torture she had inflicted to seduce Lance, had never crossed his mind.

"Mick." The voice of the tech who watched Coraline's monitors interrupted his thoughts. "You should get some rest. She will not wake for hours. Mr. Kostan has arranged a most comfortable room for you adjoining this one. I strongly suggest you take advantage of it."

He nodded, all too aware he was hungry and tired, and suspected that healing Beth was going to take much more fortitude than helping Coraline ever could.


Josef rose in the late afternoon, ready for whatever he had to face to help Beth through this time of uncertainty and fear. He was sure it must be like a newly turned vampire's first awful kill, when the desire for blood blinded one to the pain and fear of the living. He cursed his own stupidity. It had never even occurred to him that she would choose vicious torture as her way of securing Lance's interest, even though now it was clear that she had been brilliant in her planning. She had seduced him easily with her cruelty and now, she was left to deal with the consequences.

He could help her, had to help her. He could not let her wallow in the quagmire of her guilt. It was not purely altruistic; he could barely envision a life without Beth. He certainly did not want to know what it would be like to live one.

Beth's door was closed when he reached it, which was not unexpected, but he had hoped she would be outside, breathing the fresh air, allowing the sea to calm her. He knocked lightly, and waited what he considered an appropriate amount of time before knocking again. The knob turned in his hand, and he opened the door slowly, not wishing to frighten her.

Which was an impossibility, as her room was empty. Had he not been so caught up in his own thoughts, he would have known she wasn't there. "Buck up, Kostan," he thought as he strode from the room, anxious to find her.


Mick found himself once again seated beside Coraline, this time on a couch in a room with a view of the verdant fields beyond. Physically, she was fine; plenty of fresh blood had done its task predictably. Her eyes told another story, one of inexplicable pain and a complete lack of comprehension, and the depth of that thoughtful gaze told him he was ill equipped to help with that problem.

"Mick, I have to see Beth. After everything I did to her, she saved me. I have to thank her." She took his hand in hers. "I'm not sure why I think it's crucial for us both, but I know I have to see her soon."

"I think you need a few days of rest. Beth's not going anywhere." He did not want to tell her what he really thought. "Come on, let's go for a walk. It looks like a beautiful night."


Josef searched the grounds, looked for her by the sea, and sniffed the air until he assumed he'd replace Smokey as the national symbol for fire prevention. Beth was nowhere to be found. His vivid imagination being what it was, he returned to the shoreline, frantically searching for some sign of her. What if she had slipped on the slick rocks, tumbling to her death in the frigid waters? Maybe she was merely lost in the enveloping darkness that a new moon brought. Whichever of his many terrible thoughts were true, he had to find her.

Returning to the rented house, he called the staff to the kitchen. "Has anyone seen Ms. Turner?"

"Not since lunch," said the chef, "But she did inquire as to whether the driver was available."

"Well, do any of you know where he is?" Josef was trying to control his fear, but he feared he might lash out if he didn't get some answers, soon.

"I suspect he's in the carriage house, preparing the car for the evening," the maid answered.

"Thank you," you stupid, ignorant, worthless humans. He hoped he had not said the latter aloud, but did not wait to find out. The carriage house lay just a hundred yards from the main house, and he was there before the staff had drawn their next breath.

The driver was polishing the headlights when Josef threw open the door. "Have you seen Ms. Turner?" he asked without preamble.

"Lovely girl, yes, I saw her earlier when I took her into town. I believe she was intent on taking the bus into Shannon, even though I told her I'd be happy to drive her. Lovely girl, just lovely."

Josef found himself fighting the urge to murder the driver. It was not his fault, but Josef's worst fear had been realized. Beth was gone, and if he had to move heaven and earth, he would find her.


The night was cold, dark, perfect weather for a recovering vampire, Mick thought as he and Coraline strolled across the moors in companionable silence. She held tightly to his arm, her face resting against his shoulder, and Mick could feel the fragility of her spirit. Yet, once again, his thoughts were centered on Beth.

He'd expected to hear from her today, but his phone remained silent, no messages, and no missed calls. Maybe she had been overwhelmed by exhaustion; he had no idea what the effects of a large dose of Black Crystal had on humans. Still, he wanted to hear her voice, to see her, to know that she was still… Beth.

The satellite phone Josef insisted he carry rang through his thoughts. "Josef. How's Beth?"

"I have to think she's not too good. She's gone." The tension in his voice cut through the last of Mick's hold on where he was, and what he was doing.

"Gone where? How could you let this happen?"

"She took a bus to Shannon. Logan's working on tracking her. There is something to be said for post-911 security. Even though she didn't use a credit card, he'll be able to find out where she's headed."

"Call me when you know something." It was only after he'd hung up that he realized he had stopped moving.

"What's wrong, Mick? What's wrong with Beth?" Her look of concern stabbed at the edge of his conscience. He wanted her off his arm, and he wanted her soft brown eyes looking anywhere but at him.

"Beth's gone, to parts as yet unknown. Josef will call when he finds her."

"Let's get back, then." She didn't wait for a reply, but started toward the clinic, pulling Mick along with her.


"How could you let this happen?" The accusation rang in Josef's ears, echoing his own feelings of guilt and remorse. How, indeed, had he allowed her to leave? He should never have left her alone. If anything happened to her now, it would be his fault alone. Mick would kill him, and the terrifying truth was that he might let Mick do it. The phone rang; hope momentarily freeing him from his dark thoughts. "Josef Kostan."

"Josef, Beth is in the States. Her plane landed at Newark an hour or so ago. She rented a car with no GPS. I'll tap Lojak when you get back."

"Thanks Logan. I owe you."

He had to call Mick, even though he would probably want to stay with Coraline. He would leave the minute his pilot could get a flight plan registered. They could land at Teterboro, Essex County, or even MacArthur, if need be. Where ever was fine. As long as he could get to her, as fast as he could.

"Mick. Beth is in New Jersey or New York, or Pennsylvania maybe, by now. I'm leaving for Shannon in fifteen minutes."

Mick looked at Coraline, and knew what he should do. The problem was, he decided in that instant to do what he wanted to do. "Pick me up. I'll be ready." He turned to Coraline, who raised a hand to stop him.

"I heard. You're off to find Beth." The bitterness in her voice bled into his brain.

"Coraline, I can't help you now, but maybe I can help her."

A coarse laugh sprang from her lips. "So it's still Beth. No matter what I do."

What could he say? That she was wrong, that Beth had told him she was Josef's woman, and he had agreed without protest? That even as he was destroying the guardians of Lance's estate, as he listened to Coraline being tortured, his mind focused solely on Beth's safety. "Coraline, I'll be back soon, and the counselors here will help you more than I can. I have to go now. I'm so sorry."

"She's Josef's now. You will never have her. Run after your little human. You're chasing a dream."


The flight passed strained and tense, Josef and Mick each lost in his own thoughts, and the couple of hours they been in the air had felt like years. The situation was made all the worse by the accusation that ran through his head each time Josef looked at Mick.

"How could you let this happen?" still tunneled through his brain like hot lava, robbing him of any other thought. It was his fault that she was gone, his fault she was frightened and alone. Like a revenant, no sire to guide her way. And for what? So he could make billions of dollars selling the compound to vampires, most of whom wanted it for nothing more than to deceive the humans. Or the few like Mick, who would never accept their fate, who wandered through their long lives wanting no more than to reproduce, to age, to die a 'natural' death. A final death, the end of a human life.

"So, what's the plan?" Mick asked, speaking for the first time in hours.

Josef sighed from deep in his tormented soul. "I haven't thought about anything beyond finding her. Logan's going to tap Lojak once we land, and we'll get her location, get a helicopter or a car, and just get to her." He looked sadly and directly at Mick. "It's my fault. While I slept, she fled. She left me, Mick."

"Josef, this is not your fault. Neither of us wanted her involvement, and neither of us could have guessed what she had in mind. That is why she kept it a secret, knowing we would refuse her. It's not your fault Josef, and not mine. Let's just find her. Blame won't help us with that." He rose from his seat. "I'm going to sleep, and I would advise you to do the same. It will be afternoon when we get to the States, and I plan to be up all night. Come on, Josef. Let it go. Not your fault. But if I have to drag your sorry, yawning ass around…"

"You're right," Josef said, already on his way to his bedroom.


"Hey Logan."

"I called Mick."

"Then I guess this must be your lucky day," Josef said. "Mick's in the shower. What's up?"

"I really think I should talk to Mick…"

"Where is she, Logan?"

"She drove to JFK."

"Where is she Logan?"

"I don't know yet."

"Logan, I will call Britt back to my house and you'll never see her again."

"She took a flight to Austin. But I can't find a trace of her since she landed."

"Keep working on it. Britt can stay, for now."

Why had Logan called Mick? He was Logan's employer. Logan knew something else about Beth, and he had to know what it was.


Josef waited impatiently until Mick reappeared. "There you are, fresh as a daisy."

"What could I possibly have done wrong while I was showering?"

"Logan called you. As you were unavailable, I took the liberty of answering your phone."

"And Logan told you what he thinks I do in the shower, and it offended you?"

"I know what you do the shower, Mick. You do the same thing when you're not in the shower. You brood. But that's not it. He called you to tell you where Beth went."

"Oh." Mick sat, a smug look occupying his face. "Then I probably know where she went. San Antonio or Austin, am I right?"

"How did you…"

"Then we're going home."

"You can go wherever you want. I'm going to Austin."

"If you go to Austin, and you manage to find her, I guarantee you'll lose her forever. She'll be in touch. Just give her some time."

Josef eyed him suspiciously. "What do you know that I don't?"

"I know where she feels safe. And eventually I'll tell you where that is. But not now. Let it be, Josef. Let her be."

"Call Logan," Josef said as he stormed from the room.


He texted Logan. There was no need for Josef to hear their conversation. Apparently, Beth had called Logan, suspecting Josef would have her tracked. She had a pay as you go cell, and she would call Mick tomorrow.


They arrived in Los Angeles around three a.m. Josef maintained a stony silence throughout the flight. Mick did not take offense; he had many times seen his friend in full, petulant, spoiled-child mode many times, although he had never before been the object of a tantrum. Ignoring Josef for the view from the limousine's window, they rode in silence until they reached his house. "Talk to you soon," he said as the driver opened the door.

"Right," was Josef's terse response.


Josef sat on the lanai until the first streaks of dawn cracked the breadth of the night sky. Day again replaced the night, his world fading to bright. He could hear the breathing of his morning staff, stirring behind him in the house; sense their anticipation of a new day with the boss in residence. They liked him, and wanted to please him. His instructions were brief and explicit; he would sleep, to be disturbed by no one save Beth. He sorely hoped he would not be spending the rest of his life in his freezer, alone.


It was late afternoon when Mick glanced at the unfamiliar number before answering his phone. Beth's small, quiet voice said hello.

"Why did you run off? Josef is worried, and so am I. Although, I must say it was fun having a plane, a copter, and Logan at our beck and call to help find you."

"I couldn't face him, Mick."

"How can I help?"

"I know you probably have work to do, but I'd love it if you could come down here. I need to talk to you."

"I'll be there tomorrow sometime."

"Thanks Mick," she sighed. "My hero, flying to my rescue. And Mick… Don't tell Josef where I am just yet."

"I won't."

"You know where I am, right?"

"Bandera?"

"Yes. The cowboy capital of the world. Sure has changed since I was little."

"Everything changes."

With a deep sigh, she said, "Too true. See you tomorrow."


Mick spent the evening wondering what to tell Josef. Not Beth's location, definitely not. That he was going to her… Josef deserved to know. He did not want to add to Josef's pain, yet he knew that Josef's hurt could only intensify if he were to disappear for a few days without explanation. He would think of something. Though he knew that if their roles were reversed, the deepest cut would be Beth asking for someone other than him to comfort her.


Josef drove himself all through the day. Even given the state of the precarious world economy, he had managed to make many more Yuan, Euro, Yen, and Australian dollars, some might call it another fortune. And it would be, to a significant number of people on earth. It was an exercise for him, something that would keep his mind off Beth. Now it was evening, and he would go to his favorite club, so exclusive it had no listed address. Beautiful women, both vampire and human, meticulously chosen by the management, would be available in their infinite variety. Agreeable and perverse, he would entice several of them into a private room, where his active imagination would obliterate all thoughts of Beth.

Or, maybe he'd go tomorrow.


Mick knocked at Josef's door, presuming that he would still be sleeping. There was no time for the usual protocol, he had to get to Texas, and Josef had to be persuaded not to follow.

"Mick, just in time for breakfast," Josef said as he licked a rivulet of blood from the wrist of his morning meal.

"Josef, you're up early. And thanks, but I've eaten." Josef and the women he kept here, whom he liked to say were merely his food supply. Today, he had one in his lap, and one cuddled close to him on each side. Mick knew Josef wasn't that hungry. "Can I have a word with you?"

Josef sighed, but stood as he gently set his breakfast down. "Forgive me, ladies. Mick wants a meeting of the boy's club. Don't go too far, I have a feeling this won't take long." The women left, Josef watching attentively their swaying bottoms as they left. "What brings you here so early? It had better be important, I was having fun."

"You were not. And it is." For the first time, it was hard to look Josef in the eye. "Beth called me."

"Is she alright?" Only a minimal flicker of pain showed deeply in his eyes before the poker face slipped back into its usual place.

"She's fine Josef. In fact… She wants to see me, and I'm going to her."

"Where is she?" Since Mick had not already volunteered that information, Josef suspected he wasn't going to tell him.

"She asked me not to tell you, Josef, and she asked that you promise not to try and find out. I am sorry, brother. I don't know why she wants to see me and not you. She's safe and happy where she is. Please, let me tell her you'll leave it alone."

Josef stared at some point in space that either distracted or reassured him, Mick wasn't sure which. "I know why."

"No you don't. Unless you are suddenly psychic. Beth hasn't told either of us anything."

Mick watched as Josef mentally threw up his hands. "I won't try to find her. I'll stop calling. But you have to promise to keep me updated. If I've lost her forever, someone has to tell me."

"Josef, I think we both know that Beth is not a coward. She loves you. When she's ready, she'll talk."

"Not if I'm right."

"You're not right."

"How do you know?"

"I'm not doing this again. I'll call you when I get there." Mick turned to leave, but Josef hand suddenly grabbed his arm.

"Wait." Josef left the room, returning immediately with a black, enameled cigarette case, turning it over in his hands a few times. "Here, take this."

"Thanks Josef, but I haven't taken up smoking."

"Afraid it'll stunt your growth?" Josef smirked. "It's what's left of Lance's stash. It might be enough to keep you human for a year, maybe longer. Maybe until my team concocts a stable formula that will keep you human forev... Not forever. Just until you age and die. If that's what you really want."

Mick looked into the eyes of his truest friend. "Thank you, Josef. Are you sure your lab can't use this?"

Josef waved a casual hand, as if the problems of a team of scientists were not his concern. "Probably, but you'll enjoy it more. Go. Before you get all teary-eyed, and I'm forced to kill you for my own good."


Mick turned the case over in his pocket, wondering if he should take a dose and go to Beth as a human. It would need to be a small dose; he could not return to Coraline as a human. It would hurt her immeasurably, and he was not willing to contribute to her emotional scarring. She deserved better than that. But Beth might just prefer the human touch right now, and it would all be much easier if they could spend time together day or night. The thought settled it in his mind. Just a little bit of the compound, and he and Beth would be on equal footing.


Beth sank into Li'l Red's saddle, anxious to get away from the confines of the ranch. Of course, she had to have a cowboy with her, the ranch's rules being what they were, but the taciturn wrangler called Mike, who was her assigned companion, had said nothing beyond his polite yet friendly greeting. They were headed for Medina State Park, where he had thoughtfully mapped an easy yet picturesque route to the top of one of the hills. It was exactly what she needed, a languorous ride on a cooperative animal and lots of fresh air. If this place didn't clear her head, nothing could.

As the horses wound their careful way up the steep, rocky path, Beth considered her behavior over the course of the last day. She was, on the one hand, quite proud of the performance that had freed Coraline and ended Lance. On the other, she trembled at exactly the kind of monster she had so easily become. She'd initially pretended it wasn't she at all; just a fantasized alter ego, doing what she had to for the men she loved.

Until Josef had entered the arena. He'd seen her, wearing a genuine smile, smeared with Coraline's blood. Enjoying the torture she performed, or, more accurately, enjoying choosing the next bit of cruelty from her speeding thoughts. If he had not been called inside, had their plan not still been lodged in her brain, she knew she might have gone on for hours, days, so filled was she with brutal intentions and the accompanying pleasure of doling out the punishments she conjured. Obviously, the Black Crystal had opened the floodgates of some innate evil of which she had previously been unaware.

She was all too conscious of it now. Her demons unleashed, her cruelty uninhibited by the drug. And no way of denying the bitter truth. Sinking to depths she had never imagined, her witness the man with whom she had once hoped to spend eternity.

Josef had seen the worst of it, of her. How could he ever see her as worthy of his love again? Would she feel worthy of anyone's love again? She was a monster, cold, unbridled evil no longer lurking beneath her surface.

"Beth!" Through the haze of her thoughts, she heard Mike's voice calling her to attention. She saw that they were mere feet from the steep, smooth rock incline that led to their destination at the top of the hill.

"Sorry, Mike."

"Yeah, well I don't know where you were, and I know you've been ridin' long as I have, but you might want to pay some mind to this climb."

She nodded, knowing she could easily hurt both herself and the horse if she wasn't present for this. Deftly choosing what seemed to her the safest route, she spurred the horse on, carefully controlling the rapid climb with her legs. In moments, a wide expanse of awe-inspiring landscape took her breath as together they reached the summit.

As her agitated mind drank hungrily the view of hills, river, low green trees and tall grass, a small voice inside her brought back her reason. Yes, she had performed unconscionable acts, and yes, at the time she'd enjoyed them.

But she had taken a large dose of a mind-altering drug, and her ultimate purpose had been much nobler, and they'd succeeded and Coraline was free, and no, she was definitely not rid of her black thoughts, but here, virtually alone on top of the world, she thought she might someday find the redemption she clearly needed.

And the first step would be asking Mick's forgiveness.


Thanks for sticking with this, and thanks for the reviews. They really mean a lot to me.