Well, turns out St. John doesn't give up! I hope you like what happens next, thanks for reading and reviewing, I will try to post the final chapters soon.

JPOV

How embarrassing! I nearly kissed Edward, in St. John's house! What happened here? I couldn't back away; there is no way I would have resisted by myself if St. John hadn't entered just in time. Edward must be so embarrassed as well! He's been nothing but respectful towards me! But he tried to kiss me, and I accepted it… I'm afraid the next time I see him, I won't be able to look up, I feel so ashamed.

I waited outside St. John's house as instructed, and a few minutes later, he came out, alone. He acted as if nothing had happened, I was glad, because I was starting to feel light headed and confused with all the emotions I was feeling.

-"Let's go, shall we? My sisters wait in town, they wanted to show you a pretty dress they had picked for you, as a present for your recovery".- he said, feigning a smile, but I could tell he was upset.

-"St. John I assure you, it's not necessary, I can't accept a gift. Your family has been far too generous to me, you have taken care of me, I must find a way to repay you…" I said, feeling like I was a burden to this people.

"First of all, it's not "your family", it's "our family", remember we are relatives Jane. And it's not us taking care of you, is God, and if you want to repay Him, I can think of a way to do so. We'll discuss it further tonight, at dinnertime. Meanwhile, enjoy the fresh air and the fair sky above us, it is a lovely afternoon!" He said, trying to sound cheerful. Trying, that is, something was bothering him and I could only assume it was my behavior.

I wondered, if Edward would come tonight? If he would visit us like he did almost every night? After what happened, I feared and longed to see him, it was strange but I needed to know if it was an accident or something else. I began to notice I was developing feelings for this man, who was many years older than me, we obviously belonged in different societies, but who understood me, and I understood him. When I was with him, nothing else mattered, only the two of us.

As for St. John, I enjoyed his company as well, but I began fearing to disappoint him in any way. I started to see him more like a father, or older brother figure, rather than a friend or as a man. I wanted to please him, I just didn't know how and it caused me great uncertainty.

As much as I insisted I didn't want the dress, the girls had already bought it, and actually said it was St. John's idea as soon as we stepped out of the house. They said it could be a loan and I could pay them some day. I knew this wasn't true, but if I refused they would have been offended, so I ended up accepting it. We all walked back to Moor House, it was past dusk. Diana and Mary walked together, chatting cheerfully about a man Diana met in the past, Hannah was mumbling to herself something I couldn't understand, and St John walked in silence behind, his hands held in his back. I walked next to the girls, but I only cared to know what was in St. John's mind. After all, he said he was thinking a way to repay God for His great kindness to me.

When we entered the house, it was completely deserted; no fire lit, no candlelight, nothing. Edward had left and no trace of him was left.

-"I wonder if Edward will join us for dinner tonight? "- Asked Diana as she removed her shawl and hanged it by the door, Mary entered and sat in the armchair in front of the fire, and noticed a small note by the table.

-"Hmm, I reckon he won't sister… "Dear All: I won't be able to come to dinner tonight. Something urgent came up that needs my attention. I will visit you tomorrow. Edward". - Read Mary out loud.

I felt relieved and disappointed I wouldn't see Edward, but at least I knew he would call on us tomorrow. I think I better think of an explanation of what almost happened.

-"Oh too bad… Dinner time with him is a lot more fun, don't you think so Jane?"- Said Diana, I blushed; I thought she knew about the kiss.

-"He already said he wasn't coming Di. Hannah please prepare us some supper." -interrupted St. John, somewhat annoyed by Diana's comment.

-"Is everything all right brother? your mood has been horrible all day!" said Diana, teasing St. John, but also venting her irritation at St. John's remark.

He didn't reply, went upstairs to his studio and locked himself in it. -"Let me know when supper is ready, in the meantime, please try to be quiet, I need to study my Hindustani lessons".-

After a light supper served, everybody felt better. St. John smiled occasionally in some points of the conversation, Mary and Diana were in high spirits, I was relaxed but not too much, after all, I knew another conversation was due with St. John.

-"Ladies, do you mind leaving Jane and me alone for a few minutes? I need to have a private conversation with her." asked St. John, looking at me.

Both of them looked surprised. -"Ahmm, sure brother… come Di, we should help Hannah clean the kitchen."- Both women got up and left the living room.

-"Well Jane…." he began.

-"Well St. John?"- said I.

-"Is there anything you would like to tell me?" He touched his chin and fixed his eyes on my own.

-"Like what?" I said, I was acting as if nothing happened.

-"Like what I saw today in this living room.".

-"Nothing happened St. John."- I said coldly.

-"Right, nothing happened, but only because I happened to interrupt you both in the precise moment."

I was quiet. I felt ashamed, but at the same time, I was no child, and he was not my father, was he going to preach me that kissing men is wrong when that man is not your husband or betrothed?

-"Tell me Jane, what do you think of Edward Rochester?"- he suddenly asked.

-"Why do you want to know?"- I replied, intrigued.

-"I'm curious, you two get along very well."- St. John kept his questioning.

-"Well, him and me are friends, aren't we?"

-"Friends don't kiss in the mouth Jane, you didn't, but almost did. So, tell me, what do you think of Rochester?"- He smiled as he said this, but it was obvious he completely disapproved.

-"Edward is a good man, we understand each other. It's like we've been friends all our life, since the beginning. Even with my accident, I feeI that I know him too well, we have a connection."-

-"Is that all?" he said.

-"What else is there to tell?"- I frowned, St. John was playing inquisitor tonight.

-"Do you have feelings for him?"-

-"Why yes, of course I do. I also have feelings for you, for Diana, Mary, Hannah."- I kept frowning and smiling, where was he taking this conversation?

-"That's not what I meant and you know it. Do you love him Jane?"-

-"What?"- I loudly said.

-"Do you love him?" - he insisted.

-"Why do you ask this?" - I was shocked.

-"Because the answer you give is crucial to whether I will ask the next question or not."- He simply said.

-"What next question?" - I was beginning to feel confused.

-"Please Jane, simply say Yes or No"-

-"I don't know if I love him, I don't know what love is."- I answered, it was true, I knew I had feelings for Edward, but I wasn't sure if it was love or something else.

-"Good, good enough. Thank you Jane, for being honest."- He relaxed and leaned on the chair.

He took a sip of tea, and I remained looking at him, with a puzzled expression. I couldn't understand what he was planning, why he asked me if I loved him or not.

-"Jane, as you know, I am the Parson of Morton, but I have been planning for a long time to become a Missionary, and do God's job elsewhere, where His word is in need to be spread, in far away lands. India is my destiny Jane, I will go as soon as possible, and everything is taken care of, except one detail."- He took a napkin and dried his mouth as he said this.

This didn't really surprise me, St. John was devoted to his work, and he was destined for grand things, not just to be among common people lost in a village in the middle of England.

-"I'm glad St. John you have decided your fate. Not a lot of people have the conviction you do. I am sure everything will be great for you, and lucky those who will be shepherd by you."-

-"Jane, remember what you asked me today? That you would like to repay us for our kindness to you? And I told you you shouldn't repay us, but God?"- He sat closer to me, took my hand in both of his.

-"Yes, I remember."- I replied nervously.

-"Well… this is just the way to do so. Come with me to India, let's do God's work together."-

-"What?"- I gasped.

-"I would go alone, I would, but I strongly believe both of us are the same kind, the sort of people who sacrifice themselves for the common good. I know God needs us both Jane, not just me. Come to India with me." he persisted.

-"What about… Diana, and Mary?" - the words came out of my mouth clumsily.

-"I love them both dearly, more than I could say, but we both know they couldn't do a work like that. And they have no interest in doing so."-

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.

-"Think Jane… you are strong enough right now, with time it will only get better. What do you leave behind besides my sisters? Nothing, you have no parents, no brother, no sister, no husband, no children, just us, and we have you. You would lose nothing and gain much, not in money of course, I know you care nothing for it, but you will gain entrance to the Kingdom of Heaven. And you will have me by your side, I will take care of you, always."-

He was right, I had nothing here.. nothing, except Edward.

-"This is too sudden St. John… Would you give me some time to consider your offer?" -All I could do is buy me some time.

-"Yes Jane, think about it. I will ask you again tomorrow night, at the same hour."-

This made me feel uncomfortable; I wanted to be alone to think about all this. I excused myself and went to my room.

That night, falling asleep was turning into an impossible task, my head was flying back and forth from my almost "kiss" to St. John's proposal.