Nina had pumped Marilyn for every last bit of information about Negan as the two of them sat together in Marilyn's room. While she swore her friend to secrecy there was a part of her that knew she had to tell Negan the truth about Nina knowing what was going on. He had been adamant that it was her own image that he was worried about, but keeping it from him felt wrong.

The end of their conversation left Marilyn scratching her head when Nina asked. "So... how do you feel about all of it?"

She wasn't sure what to say or where she stood. There were so many mixed feelings that poured through her, but she did know that there was something there for Negan - something that had been brewing inside of her long before he had approached her.

"I really... I don't know," Marilyn confessed. "I don't know how I should feel. I probably should know at 31 years old." She shrugged and shook her head.

"I think on behalf of all the garden staff I can say thank you," Nina said with a chuckle, "He's been pretty damn good to us... and it's totally because of you."

"No." She shook her head. "God, I feel guilty for some reason."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I barely know him." Marilyn hesitated before she said the next sentence at the chance of sounding corny. "But I feel like I know him... like really know him."

"There is no reason to feel guilty," Nina assured him. "Especially when you love someone," she added, slicking her tongue across her teeth with a grin as Marilyn gave her a look.

"Careful," she replied, shaking her head.

"I'm kidding... but I am so intrigued. You have to fill me in and let me live vicariously through you with this thing."

Marilyn raised her eyebrows. "What you've thought of having this weird, unspoken connection with Negan that eventually leads you into his..."

"Bedsheet," Nina finished with a laugh, "No... I just miss watching those cheesy soap operas so I'll take it."

"Great..." she rolled her eyes. "Look, you really can't tell anyone about this. It's so out of character for me. I'm-"

"I won't," she promised. "I really won't Marilyn... but I don't know why you care so much. You're a good person and everyone knows it. Who cares if you have a sex life like the rest of us... the guy you're doing just happens to be a big fucking deal."

Marilyn shook her head and looked down with a sheepish grin. "Who are you having sex with?"

"I've dabbled," Nina raised her eyebrows with a laugh, making Marilyn laugh too. She stood up from the bed. "Well... I'm going to head back. See you in the morning?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Thanks for the talk. I think I needed to get it all off my chest."

The two of them shared a hug and then Nina's eyebrows pressed together. "What was with the walkie talkie? I almost forgot about it."

"I... I don't know."

"He's not back yet, is he?"

Marilyn shook her had. "Honestly your guess is as good as mine."

Nina shrugged. "Alright lady. I'll stop badgering you now." She gave a little wave and headed to the door before Marilyn was left alone in her room.

The silence was deafening and her lost thoughts led her into the later hours of the night. The book IT hit a slow patch, the music she had available reminded her of Negan and the scent of whatever product he used in his hair still clung to her pillow.

Insanity... that's how it had all begun to feel for Marilyn. She couldn't focus on anything else for lengthy periods of time and reluctantly welcomed the time she had with Nina to talk about Negan and everything that had gone on. He had completely swooped in and taken over her mind. Now, she laid there worrying for his safety. Was he back? Was he not? If he was back then why hadn't he tried to contact her.

Is this what love feels like, or maybe infatuation... she wondered, attempting to compare her current feelings with those of her past. She traced her love life back to her first big crush in seventh grade - Kenny Hamilton. From there she thought to her first real boyfriend as a sophomore in high school. Her second boyfriend as a senior and the collection of failed relationships as she brushed through her twenties. There were lots of likes, and possibly that first taste of puppy love as a teenager but none of it made her feel as crazy as her feelings for Negan.

Marilyn glanced over at that radio, eying the red light that let her know the battery life was still good. She picked it up, contemplating what to do. The part of her that was ready to walk off a ledge for him wanted to press the button and shout his name into the receiver hoping he would answer. The sane, stabile woman told her not to be ridiculous.

She set it back down on the nightstand by her bed and took in a deep breath through her, remembering the near death experience Nina had described. Marilyn knew Negan and his men were going to Alexandria that day and since they had left before the lunch hour she hadn't heard from him

The clock read twelve-fifteen and Marilyn could tell there was no sleep in her immediate future. With that she decided to do her own little investigative work to see if they had returned. The feeling of slinking around get her a jolt of adrenaline that she welcomed but didn't know if it was a good or bad thing to feel so alive from it. From a neatly folded pile of clothes she changed out of her casual shorts into a pair of jeans and tossed a tight black V-neck t-shirt over the top of it complete with a pair of sneakers.

She looked around the room, snatched the handheld radio and made her way out of her room, down the hallway and flights of stairs to the first level. Her first thought was the loading dock. Marilyn knew if they had returned successfully from Alexandria that the trucks they stored things in would be settled out front the way they were the night that Negan had given her the towels.

She wasn't sure if she was breaking a rule by quietly slipping through the shadows, but knew her body language would certainly feel suspicious if Dwight, Simon or one of the other guys found her - possibly even Negan.

Marilyn almost let a sliver of doubt deep enough into her mind to make her turn around and abort her lust-filled, boredom-ridden mission. Still, she continued on, needing some type of adrenaline to overtake her fresh bout of insomnia.

The loading dock wasn't overly far from her building, and when she turned the first corner she could see the outline of the extra large trucks. The self-proclaimed crazy thoughts returned to her mind and Marilyn wondered again why he hadn't called up for her. With a hint of paranoia and hope she turned the knob on the radio until the volume was all the way up.

A few men made trips in and out of the vehicles but she didn't see Negan.

I'm glad he's safe at least, she thought.

Marilyn made her way closer, attempting not to be seen and ducked back into the shadows when she heard a few men approaching, talking loudly and laughing. When they passed she continued on, shoving her hands into her pockets. Part of her wanted to be spotted by Negan, but the other part of her knew she couldn't pass her journey to him for just a casual stroll. It was after midnight and she felt desperate doing what she was doing.

Her eyes scanned the men on the trucks. There was Simon... Dwight... she listened as they shouted commands. Arat made her way from the truck to the closest building with her arms full of supplies.

Where is he? Marilyn thought, raising her eyebrows now as she leaned her whole body in the direction of the trucks as if to lend all of her senses to solving the mystery she'd created in her mind.

"What're you doing?" A voice asked casually behind her, making Marilyn jump and spin around.

"Holy fucking shit," she choked out, putting a hand on her chest before standing wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"The mouth on you." Negan grinned wide and leaned an arm on the brick wall next to where they stood. He ran his tongue across his teeth and stared her up and down.

"I'm, uh..." Marilyn cleared her throat. She couldn't think of anything logical to say.

Negan looked like he was practically ready to go into a giggle fit, still sporting a hefty grin. He eyed the handheld radio she had clipped to her jeans. "Couldn't wait for my call huh?" His was was lighthearted but curious.

"I was just w..." Marilyn felt silly for what she was about to say.

Negan cocked his head slightly to the side and raised his eyebrows, letting remnants of his wide grin continue to pull up st the corners of his mouth. Amusement plagued his features.

"You were what?" He asked, voice extra low and gravelly.

Marilyn cleared her throat and hesitantly spit it out. "I was worried... because I heard what happened the last time at Alexandria."

"Shit honey..." Negan crinkled his nose and chuckled. He glanced over her shoulder toward the trucks and then refocused back on her. "Why don't you and I take a little walk?"

"Now?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Unless you're too tired."

"No." Marilyn shook her head and Negan smiled again.

"Good," he said, "I think we should have a fuckin' talk."

When he held his arm out she linked hers through his and then took a deep breath as they began their walk away from the buildings.