Kelsey Rose: What's this? Me updating Otherwise? Yay!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hairspray.
The August breezes weren't doing anything to soothe her now. Her eyes burned, but still her tear ducts insisted on straining every last tear from them. She didn't know why this hurt so much. She knew that she shouldn't let herself hurt this much. Seaweed wouldn't want it; Tracy wouldn't want it; and she, of course, had no desire to submit herself to unnecessary amounts of pain.
As if listening to Prudy on an everyday basis wasn't enough already. Her mother would leap ten feet in the air for joy when she found out.
Penny didn't want to give her that satisfaction.
As she listened vainly to the sounds of her faltering breath, she stayed with her shoulder to the wall, her back turned to the entrance. She wasn't aware that anything had changed or moved from the door until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Penny?"
Tracy had called her name so weakly and apprehensively, that Penny hadn't even been shocked from the touch to her shoulder. She merely turned around to face her friend, embarrassed that she had been found out. Tracy had seen her cry so many times. She had to be sick of it by now.
Much to Penny's surprise, however, Tracy's mouth had dropped open slightly as she reached out and took her friend's hand comfortingly. She looked like she wanted to say something, but Penny quickly took control of the situation.
"I think I'm gonna head home," She mumbled, "or something."
"Penny," Tracy bit her lip, desperately wanting to convince her to talk about it. Penny kept so many things to herself, and she didn't want this to be another one of those things. She sighed. "Want me to walk with you?"
"No," Penny replied firmly, her teeth clamping down on the inside of her mouth harshly. "You stay here with Link. You guys don't get to see each other enough during the summer."
"But, you know that you always come first, Penny," She was a difficult one to plead with, but Tracy was going to try her hardest. Penny shook her head, her arms still wrapped around herself loosely.
"Really, Tracy," She forced a makeshift smile and tipped her head to the side slightly. "I'll be fine," Penny reassured her, her eyes drifting off to the side, before reluctantly returning to Tracy with their illusion of happiness. "Go have fun with Link… please?" Please? Penny wondered why in the world that had come out of her mouth. Tracy sighed. She hated giving up this easily, but it was clear that Penny wasn't budging.
"Okay," She glanced up at her friend, worry heavy in her eyes. "But, Penny… if you," Tracy paused, searching for her words carefully. "I mean, if you need to talk to someone, don't hesitate. You're always welcome at my house. You know that," She smiled fondly at her and gently drew her into a hug. Penny stayed like that with her for a moment, and then pulled back, a tiny smile forcing its way onto her features. "Call me later, okay?" When Tracy saw Penny nod, she smiled, waved goodbye to her, and slowly went back inside.
Tonight was one of those nights that her mother had strongly requested—demanded—that she come home and sleep at her own house. Penny didn't argue; although, now, she was actually glad that she had not. Out of all the people one would think she didn't want to be around at the time like this, she was actually okay with going home to her mother. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so horrible; maybe then she could console herself with the intemperate words of her mother.
She supposed that she could handle 'I told you so's' much better than explanations of why or how things happened.
When Seaweed returned home that night, he wasn't shocked by the look of surprise on his mother and little sister's faces. Usually, on the day of a sock hop, he was out until late, but it was barely dark outside, and he was already home. For them, that was an immediate red flag.
He walked in silently, unbuttoned his blazer, and stared off into space. Seaweed sat uncomfortably on his bed, his hands resting on his knees. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing, or, more appropriately, what had just happened. It was all a whirlwind of raw emotion, resentment, and something else, the major factor, that annoyed the hell out of him. He was jealous. But, if what Penny had insisted was true, then what was he supposedly 'jealous' of? It was a very good possibility that he had just seriously screwed everything over.
Rubbing his face with his shaky, clammy hands, he stared out his window. Pride and a regretful tug at his heartstrings kept him from rushing off to her now. He had already caused her enough negative sentiments that were just completely uncalled for that was no point.
Seaweed pushed himself off his bed and curled his fists at his sides. He didn't want to be angry with her, but he was. Consequently, that had put him in a very pissy mood, which he also resented himself for. Excuses clouded his mind; they screamed at him so loudly that he could barely think straight, much less trudge around his room angrily.
On one hand, he felt as though he desired to be with her, and yet, on the other, he knew that so long as she was happy, that that would be more than enough for him. Still, anyone with a brain knew that that was a sick and twisted representation of love. Lack of confidence was a relationship's greatest downfall; however, diffidence would always weigh heavy on any heart with so much as a speck of humility.
"Damn," He cursed under his breath, his right hand rubbing its fingers rhythmically against his forehead before sliding back over his hair. Confidence had nothing to do with it. It was now and forever would be jealousy. So, the big question was: Why? Why the hell was he so jealous?
Was it because he of Fender's fame, his looks, his status at school? Or, was it because he was white?
Seaweed paused and rang his hands idly. Was that honestly it? He didn't like to think so. Truly, he liked to think that he accepted everyone, regardless of anything. This case should be no different. He shook his head. He was thoroughly convinced that skin color had nothing at all to do with this—even if, deep down, somewhere, he knew that it had everything to do with it.
There was a new thought right there. The Corny Collins Council Members had always basically left them alone up until now.
Seaweed caved. He didn't want to think about it anymore; not when he knew Penny was probably hurting (or so he, in a very unclear and almost unusual way, hoped), and not when, if this was a case of harass-and-run, he would be giving whoever it was the satisfaction they were most likely drooling and pining for.
Up until today, he had always thought he of himself as a very grudge-free and easygoing guy, but the moment that they began to drag the girl that he loved more than life itself into the picture, he knew that he wasn't just about to let it go.
He needed closure, in the form of something.
Any hope of closure for both sides had been put on the backburner, though only momentarily. It had been weeks since either had spoken to one another, and Penny felt as though she was being far too obvious about it. Her mother had practically laughed in her face about it, and to walk in public, without him, she didn't feel right. She felt upset, of course, but she also felt something else, something that she didn't like to think she had resorted to.
She was angry. Even Tracy wasn't aware that she felt this way, but she couldn't help it. What had she done wrong, anyway? What gave him any right to distance himself from her when she was completely in-the-right as far as everything went? Penny had yet to figure it out, and she had found that she hated thinking about it. It only made her miss his captivating touch even more.
But, she was trying not to think like that, not today. It was the first day of their junior year, and she didn't want it to turn sour, like everything else seemed to be doing.
Penny was waiting for Tracy and Link near the front steps of Patterson Park High School, her books clutched nervously to her chest. She was already vastly uncomfortable, though, only because of the mocking looks that various Council Members had been giving her as they walked into the school. It was such a relief to finally see her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend finally wander up, with Tracy slightly out of breath.
"Hey, Penny!" She chirped, smiling ear-to-ear. "Can you believe it? We're juniors!" Tracy glanced over at Link, who smiled at her, though a little distractedly. Penny chuckled softly and brushed a few strands of her hair from her shoulders. It was down, wavy, and as red as ever; Tracy herself couldn't believe how different, but crazy gorgeous her best friend looked. She had never seen her like this before.
"Yeah," Penny replied, her gaze still that soft, injured one that Tracy had, sadly, become acquainted with over the past few weeks.
"You and I have three classes together, Pen," Tracy went on excitedly. She reached out and touched Penny on one of her hands before she glanced back at Link to squeeze one of his hands affectionately. "And Link and I have one together, too." Penny forced a small, but genuine smile for Tracy.
"I can't wait."
Tracy paused, noticing the delayed reactions she was getting from both Link and Penny. Link glanced between the two, and then looked around for a few more seconds before turning back to Penny.
"You two seen Seaweed lately? I feel like I haven't talked to him in forev-" Link was about to continue when Tracy jabbed him roughly in the arm. He grunted in protest, and then looked at her sharply. She glared at him threateningly, and he quickly realized his mistake. Penny winced, but Tracy managed a tiny, nervous smile.
"Hey, Penny, don't-" Tracy tried to cut in afterwards, but Penny just shook her head slowly, that detached smile returning.
"I think I'm going to go," Penny said indecisively, as if she seriously doubted that was what she wanted to do. Tracy frowned, and Link glanced off to the side again, his eyes trailing after some particular student in mob of kids gathering outside. "I'll talk to you guys later… okay?"
"Okay," Tracy sighed. She had finally given in to the facts: Penny was immeasurably difficult to argue with. "See you in class, Penny."
"Later," Link called absentmindedly, as Penny turned on her heels and began to walk towards the school. Her head was down, and her mind racing. Just as she was about to start up the small steps to the front doors, she felt herself collide with someone. Her books practically flew out of her arms, and she had to fight just to keep from toppling over. Yet, there was a strange sense of familiarity about the person that seemed to be awkwardly grabbing for her books. She felt as though she should have known by the mere scent of them, but she didn't want to seem desperate.
She breathed, her heart caught in her throat. Penny tried to calm her trembling hands as she fumbled for her books that he held out rather unenthusiastically to her. Seaweed stared at her, his expression virtually blank.
Penny was at a loss for words. She didn't even care that a small crowd had formed near them, their eyes wide at the whole scene. Her eyebrows furrowed suddenly, and she, in her almost dreamlike state, shoved past him, her shoulder knocking brusquely against his. She had to fight back tears, but she didn't even bother with keeping her shoulders back or head up. There was no way and no reason for her to feel proud for what she had just done.
Her opportunity to reconcile was lost, and all because she was too angry, hurt, and embarrassed to confront him then and there. She wasn't one to put her relationships on display, nor was she one for any sort of confrontation. Whether or not that was shone by the faint purple and blue tints around her wrists or not was completely beyond her.
She could just convince herself that she didn't care, that she didn't want for them to get back together, and that she didn't want to have to risk everything to see him again, but she would be lying to herself so hard that even she wouldn't be able to handle it. So, she had just walked away.
After all, it had worked with everything else before. Why couldn't it work now, with this?
Seaweed could only stare after Penny as she walked inside with masked disbelief. If there wasn't a more childish retort than that, then he didn't know what was. He sighed heavily and moved past all of the gathering students. They were mumbling under their breaths, but he wasn't so naïve as to remain deaf to everything they were saying.
This morning and this incident had reminded him just how much he needed a resolution from all of this. He had decided long ago that he was going to get it no matter what. In spite of this, he had never once set a date for the ever-important when.
Penny's stunt just now had finalized everything: It was going to be today.
If not today, then he was going to make damn sure that it was within the week. The train had pulled out long ago as far as ridiculousness went, and he had had enough. This needed to be settled, if only their part of it. He, if only for the moment, no longer cared who else had any part of this.
This was between Penny and himself, and he wasn't about to let either of them go on like this. If she didn't love him like he loved her, then he wanted to hear that directly from her mouth, with just the two of them there as witnesses—no shackles, no chains, no pressure, no anything.
Seaweed shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes wandering aimlessly until they landed on Tracy and Link, who appeared to heading towards the school building. Gathering up his words, he walked towards them, forcing a fraction of his usual smile.
"Hey, Trace, Link," He regarded her with a nod, and then did the same for Link. "Can I ask a favor?"
The question was sort of random, but Tracy looked on, wide-eyed and hopeful. This could be it. Maybe Penny and he would finally make amends!
"Of course! Anytime," She chimed in, leaving Link to stand there once again, wordless and distracted.
"Inez was sorta hopin' that Penny was still up for goin' out to eat with Mama and her tonight. Could you guys tell her to be there at seven… if she's still interested?" Seaweed said lamely with a shrug, lying through his teeth. Tracy blinked, shared a confused glance with a preoccupied Link, and then looked back to Seaweed. As far as she knew, Penny had never made any plans to go out to eat with Ms. Maybelle and L'il Inez. But… who was she to argue?
"Sure, Seaweed," She smiled warmly, and somewhat sympathetically. "I'll tell her."
"Thanks, Trace," Seaweed returned her genuine smile, and then nodded to the couple. "I'll catch you two later, a'ight?" He turned his back to them and began up the stairs once more, heading inside.
It was a low blow, but he had to do it. If playing the guilt and forgetfulness card on Penny's extremely guilt-ridden conscience was what he had to do to see her and get that promising moment alone with her, then he was more than 'just okay' doing it.
Besides, if there was one thing he knew about Penny, it was that she was never one to back down from anything. So, everything was set and near flawless. Now all he had to do was anticipate.
