tinyurl: norme5b


The following skit is a parody of One Minute Melee by ScrewAttack!


"ONE MINUTE MELEE!" Keldeo announced, "WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!"

"2 FIGHTERS!" Spike announced, "NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! MELEE! . . . . . . Go!"


Slappy the Squirrel was sitting in her chair watching reruns of her old cartoon on her TV when there was a knock on her door.

Not wanting to miss a second of her show, Slappy tried to ignore the knocking, which grew louder and harder over time. The knocking switched between a variety of tunes, including Jimmy Cracked Corn, Shave and a Haircut, and even Those Endearing Young Charms, with the last two knocks off key, of course.

Slappy growled, annoyed to the brink of snapping, and marched over to the door.

She opened it to see Bugs Bunny standing on her doorstep holding a book.

"Good afternoon madame," Bug began, "I represent the Rambling House publishing company here to sell you our book 1001 Tales for Toddler-."

BOOOOM!

Slappy threw a bomb into Bug's face, blasting him a few feet away from her tree house. She then slammed the door and returned to her chair.

Bugs sat up slowly. He furrowed his eyebrows and said, "I hope you realize that this means war!"

As Slappy watched her TV, a tunnel suddenly drove across the floor and stopped in between her and her TV.

A spring loaded boxing glove burst out of the floor.

NOBODY BLINK!

. . .

FIGHT!

The boxing glove collided with Slappy's face and knocked her out of her chair. She landed painfully on her back, he eyes derping in circles. Bugs jumped out of the hole and landed on top of Slappy. She grabbed her by the cheeks and gave her a big kiss. He then jumped back into the hole. Slappy growled angrily and jumped into the hole after him.

CLANG!

Slappy crawled backwards out of the hole with a flat face. Bug pushed the anvil out of the hole and raised his eyebrows a few times. "Ain't I a stinker?"

Slappy whipped a mallet out of her purse and slammed it right onto Bugs' head, right between the ears.

Bugs made funny painful faces as he sank down into the hole.

Slappy smirked and said, "Now that's comedy!"

Slappy then jumped in after Bugs and chased him through the tunnel.

It was dark in the tunnel, so Slappy took out a flashlight to light up the tunnel. She found herself surrounded by dynamite, gunpowder, and TNT.

Slappy smiled, "Heh. Thought I was gonna light a match, didn't ya?"

Slappy turned and spotted Bugs' tail sticking out of the wall. Slappy chuckled mischievously and bit the tail with her big squirrel teeth. She pulled the tail hard, and it came out of the ground, revealing it to be a stick of dynamite with a cotton ball attached to the end of it.

Slappy stared at it with wide nervous eyes.

KABOOOOOM!

Slappy was blown through the ground and up high into the air, charred black from the explosion. In mid air, she opened up her umbrella and used it as a parachute to float down.

When she reached the ground, she looked around and said, "Where is he? Where'd he go? Where'd he go?!"

Bugs ran in wearing an Indian Chief costume. He quickly pointed and said in a painfully fake and rather insulting Indian accent, "Go! You head him off at pass!"

Slappy turned and rolled her eyes. Then she marched over to bugs and whipped the headdress off of his head and held it high.

"Ah-HA!" Slappy said triumphantly.

Then a chain of lit dynamite sticks unrolled from within the headdress.

KABOOOOOOM!

Bugs chuckled as he walked sassily over to his hole.

"She's the little old lady from Pasadena!" he sang mockingly as he stepped back down in his hole.

Angrier than ever, Slappy quickly ran and dived into the hole. Slappy slid down a long chute, and then came out from the side of a high cliff face.

Slappy froze in mid air as she looked down, and quickly opened up her umbrella. Bugs reached out of the hole with a pair of garden clippers and snapped the umbrella's bar with a loud snap.

"You're despicablllllllllllle!" Slappy shouted as she fell down the long distance and slammed into the ground hard, creating a circular ring of dust on impact.

K.O.!

Bugs Bunny munched on a carrot and said smugly, "And that's all folks!"


"This melee's winner is. . ." Keldeo declared.

"Bugs Bunny!" Spike announced.

"Want more 'One Minute Melee'?" Keldeo asked, "Then head on over to ScrewAttack's Youtube channel where you can see battles between other popular characters, like Renamon and Lucario!"