Author's Notes
Thanks as always for reading this guys. Means a lot. Sorry this one isn't as long as the others because I'm hoping to get another chapter out before the next episode, but I can't make any promises. And I know these are practically summaries of the previous episode with inner monologues but that's kind of the premise of this story. I'll try and add in scenes where I can but this is mostly just a tool for me to improve my writing through exploring existing characters and story arcs. Anyways, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." or in the Marvel Universe.


They'd been at the base for a few hours now and May was over the silent treatment Coulson was giving her. They were adults for crying out loud, but Coulson was being stubborn. She'd apologised to him, she'd said she was sorry countless times but he wasn't having any of it. He was acting as if their long-standing friendship meant nothing to him. That was understandable, with everything that had been going on, even she didn't know whom to trust but she thought he'd look past that and be able to at least trust her. Everything she had done was for him.

He just couldn't see it.


May and Coulson were in the cafeteria as Skye searched the database of all the criminals who had been locked up in the Fridge. Every name brought reminders of a time long gone, of the missions they had undertaken to capture these men and women. Some of the prisoners were out-right psychopaths, while others had been captured because they were unable to control their powers or had been using them for evil wrongdoings.

"Is Marcus Daniels on the list?" Coulson asked.

She could see the fear on his face before Skye had even given him an answer. May had been there with him when they'd captured Daniels the first time. They had done it to protect the woman Coulson loved.

Loves.

He still loves her. He keeps trying to deny it but she knows that the same feelings he had for his Cellist before New York had not gone away.

"That's him." His tone was soft and he sounded deflated, but within seconds he was back to being the stern and in control agent they knew as their leader, already with a mission in place.

But this mission involved them going their separate ways. Was this really the best idea given the circumstances?

"You sure it's wise to split up the team? Leave this base? What if it's part of Hydra's plan?" she enquired.

"She's got a point. I mean Fury brought you to this base for a reason. We're safe here," Skye added.

"Yeah we're safe here, but what about everyone else? People who don't have access to a secret underground shelter? What about them? I don't know if it's wise, but it's right. I'm taking a team and that's the end of it."

May had always admired Coulson for his strength and determination in these types of situations. He was willing to do what he could to protect the largest number of people, both citizens and those he deeply cared for. But he still had her worried. How could she protect him if he wasn't with her?


Having fixed the plane's fuel line May now stood outside of her room on the Bus, going over what had just transpired between herself and Coulson. She had stormed off in search of him following the lie detector test. She wanted to be on that mission with him, she wanted to help him capture Daniels but he wouldn't allow it. Why was he being so stubborn?

All she wanted to do was help, but he couldn't look past everything that gone down between them. He still saw her as a traitor, even though she'd been cleared by the polygraph test. His emotions and the feeling of betrayal blinded Coulson. He could lie all he wanted about this not being personal but May could tell that he had his guard up and once it was up, there was no bringing it down. Not by her at least.

"You want some orders to follow? Then follow mine, or find somewhere else to be."

That statement only confirmed to May what she had been thinking all along – she couldn't do any good here. Coulson was all she had. He was the reason she had stayed, but if he were unwilling to trust her then she would leave and find someone who was.

That look he'd given her before his departure was as cold as the bitter winds outside the base. May wished that it would be the last time she ever saw him that way and hoped that what she was about to do, was willing to do, would restore just a little bit of the friendship and trust they once had.

Knowing that she needed to push everything aside, May began making plans. She started figuring out which of those she trusted to make contact with and where she could go that would be safe. She was reserved and liked to keep her emotions in check, but this situation was tearing her up inside. May wanted to stay with Coulson, she wanted to protect her team but in order for her to do that she would have to leave.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Ward approached her. He only asked about the plane, not wanting to make small talk. However, she was surprised when he asked if she was leaving. But she was glad that he did, because she had kept it to herself for far too long.

"I was here for Coulson, but he can't see past me lying to him."

"I get why you did it. When you get orders, you don't question them. You follow them, no matter the price."

They had never really exchanged much conversation outside of team or mission related topics, usually refraining from personal sentiment, so it was nice being able to discuss it with someone who understood.

"Yeah, well this price was too high… I lost him. Coulson doesn't want me here, he doesn't need me."

May began to make her way from the plane.

"So what should I tell him?" Ward called out.

She wanted to tell Ward to let Coulson know how sorry she was and that she still cared for him, but she knew that even coming from Ward he wouldn't listen. So she simply replied:

"Whatever you want. He won't hear it."


A/N So that ended up being longer than I had anticipated. I'll try to get my next one out later tonight so you can read it before the new episode. Speaking of, anyone else excited for the return of Maria Hill? Apparently Cobie Smulders might be joining the cast for season 2, which is very exciting. But these are only rumours. Don't forget to comment/favourite/follow and to vote for the person you want to see join the team. Thanks!

Next time: The results of the test tell Skye that Ward's telling the truth, but does she believe him?