A Priest, A Rabbi, and Their Kids Walk Into A Bar…
Chapter 11: You and me are sinking like quicksand…
By: Seuss Fan
(Note: these characters are not mine. Please do not sue me. I do not accept or disagree with any of the subject matter described in this fanfic. I am merely a storyteller telling a story, so please; judge the artwork not the artist.)
Jon
"Wanna get rowdy. Gonna get a little unruly. Get it fired up in a hurry. Wanna get dirty…"
It's March 1st today. Two weeks until I get my class ring. My school is so weird. Unlike every other high school that just gives you your ring in advisory or something my school has to turn it into a whole event. The ring ceremony. Such a stupid idea. If you order a ring but don't want to attend the ceremony you can pick it up at the class sponsor's office. But of course before I could hide the invitation my mother saw it and decided for me that I was going. She'll be there crying and taking pictures. Shoot me.
On the bright side Karena and I are still going strong. I can't believe it's been almost a year since we first started dating. It really flew by. I guess people are right when they say time flies when you're having fun. I wonder who could be knocking.
"Hey!"
"Hello, baby."
"Karena are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine. Why you ask?"
"Cause your breath smells like a really hefty dose of Manischevitz."
"I wasn't drinking."
"Uh-huh."
"You think I'm lying? Jon I'm you girlfriend! I'd never lie to you."
"You haven't in the past. That doesn't mean you won't start now."
"Okay, so I had a few drinks."
"With who?"
"Sandra and June. We we're having an SAT study party and then Leslie came over and she just got into partying and stuff. So she brought over some wine and we shared it."
"Did you walk here from Leslie's?"
"I took the subway."
"I'm not letting you go back out in public. My mom's in Idaho on a business trip. So, since there's a car free I'll take you home."
"But I don't wanna go home."
"Karena, you're drunk. I'm taking you home. Just hope your parents aren't around. Do they work on the weekends?"
"Can't we stay here?"
"No."
"But you're parents aren't around. I could spend the night here and you can take me home in the morning."
"As much as I like that idea I'm not very good at keeping secrets. Plus, my parents don't allow co-ed sleepovers."
"Can we have a little fun first before we leave?"
"I'm not sleeping with you if you're drunk."
"Please."
"No. Plus I'm out of protection anyway."
"So, I'm out of my pills. I don't care."
"Well, I care. Our luck something will happen, okay?"
"Not okay."
"Karena! Let go of my arm! I'm not doing this!"
"Yes you are."
"You know if you force me into this it counts as rape."
"You wouldn't report me."
"Wanna bet?"
"Then don't make me force you. Please. Just this once."
"Damn my weak male urges."
Rose
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you…"
Prom is in 1 month and two days. I've got my dress and my date. I know it's probably not safe for me to be this obsessed with prom but I just can't help it. Okay, so it's only junior prom. Not that big of a deal. But being a girly-girl I enjoy events like this. Which is why whenever Brian or anyone else for that matter talks to me I always turn the topic of conversation over to prom.
Isaac's also excited for prom. It's for completely different reasons than me but still. It's good to have something else in common. With my sister gone we've grown closer. It's like we're more than just a couple, we're lifelong friends. I know you don't wanna hear me gush about Isaac either but unfortunately, at this point in time, those are the only two things I wanna talk about. It's either prom or Isaac. Take your pick.
"You're looking at more dresses? I thought you already bought one."
"These are options that Lisa is considering. I'm just helping her narrow them down."
"I swear over the years the emphasis on the importance of prom has grown. When I was your age girls never agonized this much over finding a dress."
"Maybe not that you could see. Did you even go to any of your proms?"
"Yes. Okay, so I only went to senior prom but still."
"Are there pictures?"
"They are safely at my parents' house and you will never gain access to them."
"I have my ways."
"Don't you dare."
"What, I just wanna look at them. It's not like I'm gonna post them on the internet."
"No matter what you say or even if you bribe me nothing is going to make me trust you enough to let you look or even be in the same room as my prom pictures."
"If you're so intent on hiding them they must be really bad."
"I wouldn't say they're bad I just had a few pimples, that's all."
"A few Brian?"
"Okay, so they called me pizza face."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't think I can't see you hiding your laughter."
"I'll stop. I promise."
"Just go wash up. We're eating dinner soon."
"Why are we eating so early?"
"I'm on confession duty tonight."
"Gotcha."
"I'm just heating up leftovers. It should be ready in a few."
"I'll be right there."
I gotta head out. See you on prom night!
Jeff
"In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight…"
"I'm an idiot."
"You're not an idiot."
"How could I not have noticed? Their voices sound so similar."
"You made a mistake dude. Get over yourself."
"I can't believe it took me this long to figure out that Matthew Morrison was the original Link in Hairspray."
"It's a simple mistake, Dave. You're not like me who reads the jackets of every cd that he buys."
"I swear I'm so slow sometimes."
"Dave…"
"I'm stupid."
"Dave!"
"Yes?"
"Remember how you're always complaining that no one finds you attractive?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you ever think that maybe instances like this are the reason why?"
"You have a point."
"Dad?"
"Hi, Jeff."
"Oh my God. I thought you guys would never visit!"
"Don't get too excited. It's just me. Your mom's away on business, Jon's being himself and Erica's at a sleepover."
"It's okay. It's just good to see someone."
"We all miss you terribly."
"I miss you guys, too."
"Just five more months and you'll be home."
"Thank God. You can sit down if you want."
"Thanks. So, where's your roommate?"
"In the bathroom sobbing."
"Why?"
"Long story. So, how's the life of a New York rabbi?"
"Not bad. Same old same. Just finished up services a few hours ago."
"Any bar or bat mitzvahs?"
"Not this week. Did your sister tell you what she did?"
"She put her service up on YouTube. I watched part of it."
"You watch, when she gets married she'll do the same thing with the wedding video."
"Just like Mom. Has to make a big deal out of everything."
"Don't insult your mother."
"Sorry."
"How's therapy?"
"It's been going well. And I'm not just saying that because you're here and you're the one that signs the checks. I might have been pissed at first but being here has been very good for me."
"I'm glad to hear that. Your mom would be happy to hear it too."
"I haven't seen her since she dropped me off."
"I know."
"Can you tell her something for me?"
"Of course."
"Tell I'm sorry I gave her attitude before I left. I love her more than anything and I didn't mean for there to be bad blood between us."
"I'll give her the message when she gets back on Tuesday."
"Where is she this time?'
"Boise, Idaho."
"Idaho?"
"Yeah, the corporate office is setting up a smaller office there."
"Why Idaho? Such a random state to house a business."
"Well, they already have offices in Philly and Austin so maybe they're just trying to branch out."
"Maybe. Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you come here today?"
"A father can't visit his son without being interrogated?"
"Dad."
"Your sister."
"Is everything okay with her? I mean I've been texting her everyday but if something happened she might not want to tell me right away."
"She's fine. It's just her d'var torah is reverberating in my brain. In fact in has been since she read it."
"What did she say?"
"I guess you didn't get to that part of the video."
"No, I stopped after her Torah portion."
"She spoke about you. She talked about how she missed you and how she felt like you were missing. I felt so guilty about not being there the day your mom brought you here and not calling you enough. You mean everything to me. I just couldn't forgive myself for not letting you know that."
"I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, son."
"You know we have to hug now right?"
"I kinda had a feeling that would happen."
"Hey, Jeff here's your cd back. Oh, hi."
"April this is my dad, Jacob Schram."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm April Marquez."
"Hi, April. It's a pleasure."
"Well, I better head over to dinner. You coming Jeff?"
"I'm gonna spend a little more time with my dad but you can take Dave with you."
"Joy of joys. Dave, get out of the bathroom, now!"
"I don't wanna face anybody!"
"Dave! If you don't get out of that bathroom right now I will bust down that down and go crazy Latina on your ass!"
"I'm ready."
"See you later, Jeff. Nice meeting you Mr. Schram."
"Nice meeting you too, April. Who is she?"
"We're kind of seeing each other."
"Really? So is she the reason you ran out if passes?"
"Yeah."
"It's okay. I'm happy for you."
"Really?"
"You got your first girlfriend. Of course I'm happy."
"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot."
"I have an idea. You still have passes available?"
"I think I have about three left."
"How bout I take you out to dinner?"
"That sounds awesome. Last week April and I went to this cheap Chinese place. They have really good food."
"Sounds great. Let's go get you checked out."
"Dad, the front desk is this way."
"I knew that."
Erica
"You know whatever life puts you through, I'll be there for you…"
"You look tired."
"Chad, do you know why it's called a sleepover?"
Why?"
"Cause you sleep when it's over."
"Very funny."
"Thanks again for doing this."
"You don't have to thank me. I don't mind bringing you your subway pass."
"Just don't tell my dad that I gave you a key to my house. I don't think he'd appreciate it very much."
"My lips are sealed. So, why did you guys do?"
"Just girl stuff."
"Talk about boys and paint each other's nails?"
"Shut up."
"I'm just messing with you. Oh, I keep forgetting to ask you. Wanna be my date for the freshman formal?"
"Sure. When is it?"
"Two weeks from yesterday."
"Thanks for the short notice."
"I told you I kept forgetting."
"I guess basketball must be taking up most of the capacity of your brain."
"Will you go with me or not?"
"Of course. I'll just borrow one of the rejects that Rose didn't want to wear to prom."
"Isn't she taller than you?"
"I can always take it somewhere and get it shortened."
"What color is it?"
"I'll let you know."
"What type of food are they having?"
"Probably a buffet. I think that's what they're gonna do for the sophomores."
"What's the theme?"
"Enchanted Kingdom."
"Who came up with it?"
"My wonderful class president Gabrielle Stevens."
"Please tell me they elect new officers every year."
"They do."
"Thank God. I'd hate for you to be stuck with that bitch for four years."
"You know something?"
"What?"
"I've never heard you curse before."
"Really? You must have."
"I don't think so."
"I guess I'll just have to curse more often."
"That isn't what I meant."
"I think the train is late."
"As always."
"Gotta love public transportation in New York."
"How's school?"
"Okay. Hate my math teacher though."
"What did Ms. Belmont do this time?"
"She's just so bitter all the time. And when she's substituting another class she always makes us play scrabble. Or sometimes she'll read movie reviews to bus out loud. I can't wait till I don't have her anymore."
"Just a few more months."
"Thank God."
"I think you need sleep."
"No shit Sherlock."
"I'm serious. No dinner just go straight to your room and go to sleep."
"Yes, Dad."
"C'mon get up. Train's here."
"If I fall asleep during the ride will you wake me up?"
"Don't I always."
"You're awesome."
"I know."
Brianna
"I need you to know I miss you…"
"You sure you wanna go back there?"
"I thought I'd love being here. And I did. But every day that goes by I miss my old life. I miss New York traffic. I miss my crowded roach filled apartment. And I miss my sister."
"I understand baby. Maybe you living with me was a stretch. Maybe we can just have you visit every summer."
"Christmas break too?"
"I think you might wanna spend the holidays with Rose."
"Yeah. That might be better."
"And instead of you traipsing all over the country I bought you a ticket on the first flight out of here on Monday."
"Mom, I told you I was gonna use my own money to get home."
"I thought I'd give my little girl one last present before she went home."
"Mom, you've been too good to me."
"You deserve it, baby. You're the best a mom could ask for."
"I'm gonnna miss you."
"We still have the summers. And there's always texting."
"True. Guess I better start packing."
"Want me to help you?"
"I think I can take care of it."
"We're gonna go to Chuck's Steaks for dinner."
"I love that place!"
"I thought it'd be a nice treat for your last meal."
"Don't be so dramatic."
"Sorry. Just let me know when you're hungry."
"Hey, Mom."
"Yes?"
"Thanks for everything."
"You're welcome, baby. I'm here for you anytime."
Jake
"Those crazy nights, I do remember in my youth. I do recall those were the best times, most of all…"
"What would possess Karena to drink?"
"I just think school's been getting to her. Her parents made her take three AP classes and combined with SAT prep she's gone insane."
"It's a shame. You don't feel that way about school, do you?"
"Not really. I mean I'm a little stressed but I think I'll be okay."
"Has Karena talked to anyone about how stressed out she is?"
"I told her to make an appointment with the school psychologist but I don't know if she did nor not."
"I guess the best thing you can do is be there for her."
"I'm trying."
"Jon?"
"Yeah, Dad?"
"There's been something I've been meaning to talk to you about."
"What's up?"
"I think you're moving too fast with Karena."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I know you've been together for almost a year now but I just think you got too attached too fast."
"Too attached?"
"You spend every possible minute you can with each other or you're texting or your video chatting or you're talking on the phone. I just think you need to make some time to spend a few days apart."
"But you just said I should be there for her. And how do you expect me to avoid her? We go to the same school!"
"I know what I said but being there for her doesn't mean you necessarily need to be in the room. The best thing you can do is give her space. And I don't mean avoid her. Just don't be so clingy."
"I'll try. But I love her."
"That's another thing too. I know there's a good chance you might be in love with her but I just think you rushed into saying it too fast. You just got too serious too quickly."
"Well, I'm sorry."
"I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to give you some fatherly advice."
"Well, maybe I don't want your fatherly advice."
"All I'm saying is that the quicker you get close with someone the more likely your relationship will fall apart."
"And how do you know this?"
"I was young once too. I had a few serious relationships before your mother."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I thought she was the greatest thing in the world and they we broke up. Maybe you and Karena are different but I just don't wanna see you get your heart broken."
"Thanks, for the concern Dad but I think Karena and I are gonna make it. I'm gonna play some video games in my room. See you in the morning."
"Night, son."
"Night, Dad."
