'I'm not dead!' Sorry, I couldn't help but use a quote from Dean; it seemed appropriate since it's been a few weeks since my last blog. So much has happened in the last few weeks; sometimes it feels like I've slipped into some alternate universe. Roman had his casual conversation with Dean about Randy; and Dean agreed that it sounded like something Randy would do since I embarrassed him. The two of them had decided without consulting me that they would watch me. During this conversation; Seth must have been present and overheard, I say this only because the next night during a RAW taping something I never expected to happen did. It was towards the end of the evening and apparently Seth had a match against Randy. They had a mini-feud going on; Seth was running around every show talking about how he was the future of the WWE, Randy was acting annoyed because he was the face of the WWE. The rest of the Authority was at ringside for the match. Seth was winning, but not because of a lack of effort from Randy. When Seth managed to send Randy crashing through a table, I realized Kane had gone off to the side of the commentary table and exposed a pile of cinderblocks. I had seen what was about to happen when they had done it to Dean so he could go film a movie. I figured that Stephanie or Triple H would tell them to stop. Only the first thing out of Stephanie's mouth was 'Finish this! We need to finish it!' Triple H didn't seem so convinced until Stephanie grabbed him by the shirt and said again; 'Finish this!' Triple H looked at Kane and Seth and with some reluctance in his face told them to 'Finish him!' Seth then curb-stomped Randy's head on the cinderblocks; I looked over at Dean, who looked as surprised as I was. The Authority had just allowed Seth to put Randy out of commission for at least a month.

I can tell all of you; I felt relieved, I would have some time when I wouldn't have to worry about Randy making me 'Pay' for slapping him. I just never expected that it would happen that way! Roman came in to the locker room to see if we had just witnessed the same thing he had. I guess our faces said it all. About 20 minutes later we were getting stuff packed up to head on to the hotel when Seth came strolling in with a big smile on his face. "Ash; you don't have to worry about Randy for a little while, I took care of it for you. Well, Stephanie and Triple H helped; but Randy will be out for a month at least. Maybe three or four months; Stephanie couldn't believe how he had behaved with you and then that he threatened you on top of it, she was pissed. Even if he's ready to come back after a month; they are discussing suspending him for a bit." I will admit I was a little angry at first that Seth had told Stephanie and Triple H about Randy; but it's nice to know I have friends who would do something like that for me. I hugged him and thanked him for doing what he had done. I'm pretty sure I owe Stephanie and Triple H a thank you as well; but I think I'll let that little bit of embarrassment die down first. Besides; I have found that most owners, while they don't exactly like the thought of 'Ring Rats' hanging around their shows (especially WWE; they are a PG company now); they choose to turn their heads and ignore us rather than forbidding us to be around. Smart of them if you think about it; they can say 'We thought those girls were someone's girlfriend' if reporters ask them about us and at the same time they keep their performers happy by not sending us away. Plausible Deniability.

Oh! That reminds me of another one of my life's interesting stories. If any of you thinking of becoming a 'Ring Rat' or you've been reading this blog just out of curiosity; think that wrestlers are the only people interested in women like me, you would be wrong. We get hit on by all sorts of people within the wrestling companies; everyone from the pyrotechnics guys to the guys who work in the production trucks. Now, some 'Ring Rats' will tell you that if you get in good with these people; it gets you closer to your actual goal which would be the wrestlers. I personally, have never gone that route; but I know girls who have. Truth is; if they tell you that if you sleep with them they'll introduce you to your favorite wrestler, they probably are bullshitting you. It's more than likely they don't actually know any of the superstars other than passing them in the hallway once or twice. So beware! That wasn't what I was going to tell you about though. General Managers and owners also will sometimes seek our company. I bet none of you can guess who the biggest man guilty of that is. I can tell you that while I've heard he has done it before; I'm not talking about Vince McMahon.

No; the GM who is most notorious for being with us is Eric Bischoff. I'm sure now that I've said it; you're all going 'Ohhhh…that makes total sense!' Eric after all has made quite a living off from being the slimy, sneaky, jackass on both WCW and WWE programs. Tell me you haven't seen him on TV and had your skin crawl while watching his characters. In real life; he really isn't all that bad. I would say he can even be charming when he wants to be. I will admit to all of you that I myself spent a few evenings with him; towards the beginning of my time as a 'Rat' around WWE. The thing about Eric is that the ego you see on-air is still there when the cameras aren't around. He likes to make everything a big production so everyone within a 5 mile radius knows he is wealthy. If he's at dinner; he wants a table in the middle of the restaurant; so he can then order the most expensive wines or champagnes and the most expensive food. If you're his date; he probably has purchased you an outfit (designer, of course) for you to wear or at the very least some piece of expensive jewelry that he'll make a scene out of giving to you in front of everyone there. When you're a girl not used to living like that; it's pretty exciting the first few times. What girl wouldn't want a diamond bracelet or a designer dress? After a while goes by though; you realize that you yourself have just become another way for him to show people how powerful and rich he is. Once you realize that; it stops being fun, at least it did for me. As far as performance goes; the ego pops up there as well. He likes women to tell him how good he is; you probably know the type. As much as I hate to admit it; he isn't bad. He doesn't come close to Dean in that department; but he's not the worst I've been with.

While I'm on the subject of GM's who like girls like me; I cannot express this enough: Stay Away from Paul Heyman! I'm not joking; he is every bit as slimy and annoying as he plays on TV. I have never been with him and from the stories I've heard I would never want to be. Unlike Eric; Paul just brags about himself, he does nothing to back it up. He's actually known to be pretty cheap; one girl told me he took her to dinner and then expected her to pay for her meal. I've heard that so-called 'Paul Heyman Guys' have been allowed to join in on sexual encounters; and in some cases, girls have thought that they were going to be having sex with Paul only to be surprised that they were actually there to have sex with his 'clients'. He is a sleazebag; I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, and if you've seen him you know I couldn't throw him very far.

Anyways; Dean and I have just arrived at the next city, we're in New Orleans now and we've checked into the hotel. Oh! Big news! Well it is big news; it's also very nerve-wrecking news, in a few days we'll be close to my hometown. Surprisingly; it was Dean who started a conversation with me about meeting my parents. He assured me that he would not be behaving like he did in my nightmare and that he felt it was important that my parents know I was with a man who cared about me and treated me well. So I called my mother who was very excited and invited us to dinner at our house. We'll see how that goes. By the way; Dean says he's still the 'greatest lay in the world' and 'very magnum size', again I rolled my eyes at him but since he is standing behind me making sure that I tell you all this now he can be happy and go get ready for dinner like a good boy.