A/N: When I started writing this chapter I didn't intend for it to be nearly as long as it turned out, but at the same time I didn't want it to be just about the story about the AAA Wunder. And I'm glad I could put out my longest installment to date as I always felt chaoter length wasmone of my biggest weaknesses as a writer.
Also, I want to quickly answer a question from one of my followers, who wanted to know if the line last chapter: about Asuka "jumping into Shinji's bed" was a reference to that scene from 2.0 or an implication that she had slept with him at some point. I can confirm that the voice in her head was referencing the bedroom scene from You Can (Not) Advance, but also accusing her of wanting to sleep with Shinji, in order to mess with her. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask away and I will do my best to answerr them in the Authors Notes, next chapter.
Fun Fact: I chose to name this chapter after the Kate Bush song of the same name, as I felt it connected a lot to Shinji and Asuka's relationship post 3.0.
Evangelion
(Never) Alone
By Rollinaround
Episode 11
Running Up That Hill
It was a warm Christmas Evening in Tokyo 3. There was no snow on the ground; the Second Impact had shifted the planet's climate dramatically, leaving it in an endless summer. Asuka Shikinami lay stretched out on the sofa, playing on her Wonderswan as the sweet smell of home cooking wafted in from the kitchen. Misato sat at the table, gazing listlessly at her laptop screen. Officially, she'd been given the evening off of work but she was still obligated to watch out for reports from NERV HQ. Angels didn't take the night off for Christmas after all, the irony of which was not lost on her. In the corner of the room sat a small pile of presents. Ordinarily the children were too old to receive gifts but Misato had made an exception to accommodate Asuka's traditions.
There was the sound of footsteps as Shinji Ikari stepped into the room, with a smile on his face and a plate of fried chicken in each hand. Asuka had heard that fried chicken was the traditional Christmas Meal in Japan, going back to the late 20th century, though the originator had disappeared in the aftermath of Second Impact and the recipe had changed over the years (apparently the old method didn't work well with artificial meat). "Well well," Misato said, tearing her eyes away from her computer for just a moment, "I think you've outdone yourself Shinji." "Thank you..." The boy said, blushing lightly, "But really it's nothing special. Asuka rolled her eyes. His insistence on being humbke in all things straddled the line between beiny irritating and endearing. She had to admit though, dinner was really good, even for Shinji. "Man that was good~" Misato said, swigging down a can of Yebisu, "And it goes great with a nice, cold beer..." Shinji chuckled at that. "I'll have to take your word for it."
Later that night they opened presents. Shinji received a few volumes of some popular Manga, a cookbook and a new tape for his SDAT Player while Asuka was given a couple of Wonderswan games and some cosmetics. "Oh, Asuka?" Shinji said when they were done, "I hope you don't mind but I kind of got you something too..." He handed her a small package containing a cute red hairclip, shaped like a cat's head. How did he even knowmshe liked cats? "Umm, thanks..." She said, a little confused. She knew they were doing things a little differently when it came to presents, but she also knew what it meant when a boy his age gave a girl a Christmas gift. He couldn't be...
"Oh it's no problem." he replied. "Um, Asuka?" the boy said. "I was wonder if, tonight, you'd like to go- go out somewhere? Tonight? Maybe?" Oh God he was... The boy's cheeks turned red as he waited for her answer with baited breath. He looked like he was going to pass out if she didn't answer him soon. "Uh, I guess..." She said, trying to avoid eye contact as she felt her heart pounding. "But you're paying for everything..." He smiled meekly. "That's ok with me. I heard a new arcade opened last month. We could go there for a while, you know, if you want..." She let herself smile for a moment. "I'd like that.
"Um, hold that thought you two..." Misato said, typing away on her computer, a look of concern on her face. "We've got reports of an Angel approaching the city. You lovebirds will have to save it for tomorrow." Asuka felt a brief twinge of disappointment, followed by a burst of excitement. After all, killing Angels was what the Second Child was born for. What more could she ask for in a date? "Well," she shrugged, "If fighting an Angel means we have to put our date back for a day, I guess we'll just have to make that sacrifice. You ready, Stupid Shinji?" "Y- yeah..." he told her, sounding more than a little bit nervous.
Before they knew it, the two pilots were sat in their entry plugs, anxiously awaiting the arrival of their target as the elevator carried their Units up towards the streets of Tokyo 3. "Target is expected to arrive in T-minus 350 and counting. Asuka cracked her knuckles as she prepared for one hell of a battle. Itwas moments like these when she truly felt alive. Some wouldmhave called her mad for that but as far as she was concerned they could keep their "peace" and their "safety". Dashing between skyscrapers, crushing her enemy and always staying one step ahead of death, that was what it meant to live. And wuth Shinji by her side, she felt more alive than ever. "Target is almost on top of you." Ibuki said as the exit began to slide open. "Arriving in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Eva Unit 02 shot up onto the streets of Tokyo 3, the doors closing beneath it and Asuka surveyed the area to find the city was...
Empty.
There was no Angel, no helicopter wrecks littering the area, not even the faintest hint of battle. The entire city was completely silent. What was going on? Was it a false alarm? A trap? A false report sent to throw them off? "I don't get it." Asuka said, "Where the hell's the enemy?" And then, she heard Shinji's voice.
"What are you talking about?" he said, eerily calm, "I'm right here."
She turned around just in time to see Eva 01's fist smash into her Unit 02's face, sending it tumbling to the ground. She barely had time to react before Shinji's Eva slammed it's foot into her chest, stamping Unit 02 into the ground until a crater began to form around it. She raised her fist to strike back but Unit 01 caught her arm, it's eyes glowing blue as it ripped off her Eva's red arm. An ear-splitting chriek echoed through her entry plug as she fell back against her seat. The girl made one last desperate attempt to pull herself back up, only to find herself pinned to the ground, as Unit 01's mouth split wide open and it's red fangs sunk into her neck.
Unit 02 was left on the road, it's body broken and paralyzed as Eva 01 stood over it. Tears streaked from the female pilot's eyes as she lay inside the entry plug, lost, afraid, and dying. "Why?" She croaked as she felt the stinging pain flow through her entire body. "Why would you do this to me Shinji?" Unit 01 spoke to her, but not with Shinji's voice; this was the voice of a malicious young woman. "Foolish Lilin" It said, tilting it's head quizically as it gazed into Unit 02's eyes."Why would the male want you, when he had her?" It's body twisted and morphed, until the metal titan took the form of enormous Rei Ayanami. Her sexual organs were missing, and her body was smooth and shiny like porcelain. "He already has his pretty little doll, his quiet little toy that would do anything he asked of her. The most you could hope to be is a replacement."
The entry plug turned a deep, crystalline red and a glowing blue figure approached the pilot of Unit 02. It was humanoid in shape and, although it had few distinguishing features, Asuka could tell it was supposed to resemble her. The girl's memories came flooding back as it cuppednher face in it's hands. Unit 03, the Angel attack, being ripped apart by Unit 01. She remembered everything. You... you're an Angel! A smile formed on it's face. "Indeed I am." it said. "And whether you believe it or not, I'm also your only friend." "What are you talking about!?" Asuka demanded, trying to back away from the creature, "You tried to kill my friends!"
"They aren't your friends anymore." The Angel said as it chased the girl. "You are one with me now. From this point on they will see you only as an enemy. The boy you loved, the woman who took you in, whatever they felt for you before will mean nothing now." It's voice sounded almost pitying. "It's not true!" "It is." The 9th Angel said. "The Lilin are foolish, frightened creatures. No matter what you may believe, they can never truly love you. But it doesn't have to be that way..."
Asuka's eyes widened as the invader in her mind took on a more complex form: a beautiful, slender young woman with flowing blonde hair. "Mama?" Kyoko Shikinami reached forward, embracing Asuka like a child. "I can give you everything you've ever desired." She said, as the red crystal walls gave way, showing Asuka a vision of he world she desired. It was the house in Germany she grew up in, just as she remembered it in her early years, back before everything went wrong. Shinji sat with her on the couch, cuddling up with the girl while Misato and Kyoko watched over them. "Join with me and my kind," Kyoko said, "And together we will create a new world: one where they will love and understand you for what you are, a world without pain, fear, death or sadness, where you can truly be at peace."
Asuka was entranced as she gazed into the world the Angel offered her. It was true, she had long desired something like this; a world where people saw her and accepted her for who she really was, where her Mother was still alive, where she had the people she cared for all to herself. "Just close your eyes, and when you wake up, you'll be in paradise." Her eyes felt heavy. She could feel a strange warmth on her back as two wings of blue light sprouted from her shoulder blades. Her eyes had almost closed when she heard a familiar voice. "Asuka can you hear me?" It said. "Please wake up. We need you. I need you..."
She recognized the voice instantly. "Misato?" She felt her strength return to her as her eyes flittered open. The false Kyoko yelled in surprise as the girl threw her off. "You will always be alone Lilin." the Angel said as Asuka frantically ran her hands along the walls desperate to find the door. "They will never truly understand you. They may try, but eventually they will give up on you. Or, they'll discard you when you're no longer of use to them." Asuka ignored it. Instead she grabbed at the walls, hoping that sooner or leter she'd find the door handle. And as luck would have it, she did. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as the steel door creaked open and she left the horrible nightmare, and returned to the waking world.
"Asuka..." Misato said as the girl opened her eyes to see the Colonel smiling down at her, "Welcome back."
Asuka spent the next couple of weeks under 24 hour supervision in a secret facility in China. They had managed to isolate the 9th Angel in her left eye, restraining it with an eyepatch covered in anti-angelic runes. But in spite of this, Ritsuko had insisted on anumber of tests, to ensure that she was as free from Angelic corruption as possible. If the creature in her mind managed to take control of her then the entire human race would be in jeopardy. During her time in the facility, Misato explained the events that had transpired in the past few months. She told her about the aftermath of the Unit 03 incident, how Shinji had fought his way to the Geofront and tried to destroy NERV Headquarters, the attack of the 10th Angel, Rei being consumed by it, and Shinji awakening his Eva to save her, setting off Third Impact in the process.
The rest was a little muddy. The world was still dealing with the fallout from Unit 01's awakening and there were a lot of details that they weren't privy to. It turned out that Commander Ikari was involved with a secret organization called SEELE, a group that Kaji had been investigating at the behest of the United Nations. Apparently, SEELE had been trying to bring about the Third Impact on their own terms, though they couldn't imagine why. With the world population cut down from ten million to a few thousand within a single night, the UN remnants had the entire staff of NERV was placed under international arrest and sent to a special tribunal for conspiring to commit mass genocide. Unfortunately, Ikari and Fuyutsuki had no intention of going quietly and, with nowhere to run, they released a new series of artificial Angels that decimated any force that tried to capture them, leaving the rest of NERV to answer for their crimes. In the end, the court determined that the staff were ignorant of Gendo Ikari's true intentions, and Misato and the others were released. Since then, the worlds remaining governments had come together to form the New United Nations, and had been putting their minds together to try and solve the lack of vital resources and form a military strong enough to challenge NERV.
Asuka was still having trouble believing any of it. It was like she'd stepped out of one nightmare only to find herself in another, and it was hard to tell which was worse. "What about the others?" she asked when she'd had time to process everything she'd been told. "Where are Shinji and Rei?" Misato stared down at the floor. Her long hair covered her face but Asuka could tell she was upset. "They're gone." she admitted. "We don' know what happened to Rei after aeva 01 absorbed the 10th Angel. As for Shinji, we barely managed to get Unit 01 out of Tokyo 3 but the entry plug was empty, save for his plugsuit. We think his Synch Ratio reached such a high level that his body contain maintain it's physical form and, melted into LCL." Asuka felt her heart stop for just a moment. "So, he's dead?" Misato shook her head. '"We don't think so. Our scans detected... something inside the Eva's core that wasn't there before the Angel attack. We believe it's him, but we can't be sure. If it is, we have no way of getting him out."
Asuka felt her body turn cold, yet a small spark of hope still burned inside her. "So, what's the problem?" she said, a petulant tone in her voice, "We'll just hang onto Unit 01 until we have the tech to pull him out of there." Misato had a grim look on her face as she tried to explain the situation to her. "We can't do that Asuka." "Why!?" Asuka said, cutting her off, "You think I care what he did? He's still one of us!" There was a desperate anger in her voice as she spoke. Her whole body was shaking and she was finding it difficult just to stand up. "It's out of our hands now Asuka." The Colonel explained. "The UN has deemed both Eva Unit 01 and the Third Child a threat to humanity. In order to prevent another Impact from happening, they've elected to launch the Evangelion into space."
Asuka fell back into her seat. Her breathing was rough and tired and she felt sick, like her body was trying to physically reject everything she'd been told. "They can't do this!" she growled as she felt tears welling up. "This isn't fair, he did nothing wrong!" Misato placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Nothing about this is fair Asuka." she said, "But even if he didn't mean to, Shinji did cause all of this. I don't like this anymore than you do but we have to protect humanity, even if it means having to do things we don't like." She sighed as she turned away from the red haired girl, preparing to deliver the final piece of news.
"The UN are forming new organization, specifically to fight NERV's Eva Units, and the Nemesis Series. They're calling it WILLE. I was offered the chance to lead organization, and I've decided to accept." Asuka drove her foot into the ground, forcing herself to stand again. "You're gonna throw your lot in with them!?" she yelled, "After they treated you like a crook, after ehat they did to Shinji!?" Misato cal my and quietly tied her flowing hair up into a bun. "I don't like the idea of working for them either," she said, "But they are the best chance we have of stopping NERV and making sure we never have to see another Impact. These are dark days Asuka, darker than any we've ever seen before, and we don't have time to worry about one person anymore."
Asuka wanted to fire back at her, for siding with those who persecuted them, who had always done everything they could to get in their way, who wanted to banish the first boy she might have genuinely like from the goddamn planet but she just couldn't make the words come out. She didn't know if it was from anger, from exhaustion or from the terrible feeling that just maybe, Misato might have been right. Either way, she couldn't bring herself to fight her.
"We're currently working on repairing Unit 02," Misato said, "And we've found a prototype Evangelion in the ruins of an abandoned NERV lab in Iraq. The UN has recommended Makinami to pilot for us, Unit 02's pilot is up to me to decide. Asuka's hand balled into a fist. They'd already taken Unit 02 from her once. "Asuka, I want you to pilot for me again." Asuka's eyes widened in surprise. After being corrupted by the 9th Angel she didn't think they'd ever let her pilot another Eva. In spite of this, her first instinct was to refuse. After everything that happened, she didn't want anything to do with Evangelions anymore. Yet at the same time, the Eva's cock pit had been the only place she'd ever felt like she belonged.
"I'll do it." she said eventually, "But not for them. I'm only doing this so I can make NERV pay." For the first time since she'd woken up, Asuka saw a flash of that devil-may-care smile Misato had, back before everything went to hell. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
When Asuka saw Unit 01launched into space a few days later, tears stinging her eyes as she forced herself to watch, she thought she had lived through the worst day of her entire life.
If only she knew...
Asuka took a deep breath as the scanner hovered over her, searching for any signs of Angelic corruption. She was prepared for the worst. Ritsuk sat beside her, her eyes scanning over her computer screen while the Captain stood in the corner, waiting to hear the bad news. "Well, Doctor Akagi said, "It does indeed look like the corruption has begun to spread again. The good news is that we should be able to isolate it again." She took a long drag of her cigarette as she turned to face Asuka. "However, we have no guarantee this won't happen again, and I'm concerned we might see it spread sooner than before if it's grown strong enough to overpower the runes on your eyepatch." The Second Child asked her the obvious question: "How did it start to spread again anyway?" "That's a good question." Ritsuko said, returning to her computer. "I've been checking the data from every time you've piloted in the past few years, and I discovered the early signs of corruption during the battle with Unit 13." Asuka knew instantly what the Doctor was talking about. "When I activated Unit 02's Beast Mode." Ritsuko nodded quietly.
"You'll need to be kept under close observation." Misato explained, adjusting the visor of her hat so it covered her eyes. "And regularly scanned for signs of 'll still need you to pilot for us when the time comes but we can't risk the Angel taking over your body." "I fear that may not be enough Captain." Akagi chimed in. "We need to have a failsafe, in case the Angel possesses Asuka and we can't reach her." "I know what you're suggesting Ritsuko." Katsuragi snapped, "And the answer is no." Ritsuko snuffed out her cigarette as she turned to face her old friend. "I don't like doing this either, but we have to think of our crew and our mission. If the corruption spreads too far-" "I know what the risks are!" Misato yelled, "But I'm not doing that again. It was bad enough the first time but there's no way I'm doing it to Asuka."
The two of them argued for ages while Asuka sat there, stewing in her anger and frustration. It wasn't Ritsuko who was pissing her off right now, but the Captain. In the early years of the war she and Misato had perhaps been closer than ever. They had known each other for a little while before the Angel attacks fourteen years ago but after Third Impact she'd been the closing thing Asuka had to family in a very long time. But, as the years wore on and the war became more desperate and bloody, something changed about her. She began to grow distant from the rest of the crew, even her. On top of that, she gradually became more and more willing to sacrifice whatever she saw the need to, including human lives, to rip victory from the jaws of defeat. Some of them had been people she'd fought beside for years. The same words she had used to justify siding with the UN became her go to defense whenever she sacrificed a life for the sake of the mission. "We don't have time to worry about one person anymore."
So why now? Why did she choose now of all times to suddenly decide she had standards? "Just do it." she said, but Ritsuko and the Captain talked over her. "Do it!" The two women were too busy arguing to even hear her. Finally, Asuka had had enough. "JUST PUT THE DAMN CHOKER ON ME!" she screamed. That got their attention. Misato was stunned. "Asuka, you know what will happen if-" "Of course I know that!" Asuka snapped, "If the corruption spreads too far I'm a dead woman. But if that... thing takes control of my body then I'm as good as dead anyway." Misato stared right through the pilot of Unit 02. They may have drifted apart over time but she'd known the girl long enough to read her pretty well. "Asuka," she said, "If you're doing this out of guilt..." Asuka snorted inderision. "You think I'm going to put my life on the line because I'm weepy over some brat? It's been four months Captain, I'm over it!"
And so, despite Misato's protests, the DSS choker was fixed around Asuka's neck. She'd expected it to be tight and uncomfortable but, oddly enough, it fit quite comfortably around her neck. A horrible, sickly feeling washed over her. It felt like the whole world was on her shoulders.
As she passed the mess hall on the way back to her quarters, she overheard a conversation with the bridge staff. "I mean yeah, we both worked for NERV around the same time." Hyƫga said, "But I wouldn't exactly say I knew him. " She already had an inkling of who they were talking about." Captain Katsuragi had made no secret of Shinji's demise. Knowing the Impact Trigger was no longer a risk to them would improve morale a little and give NERV pause, allowing WILLE time to finish their new Evangelion. People had mostly avoided talking about him over the past fourteen years but now that he had passed it seemed everyone had an opinion about him. Everybody knew the story by this point, though they each saw it a somewhat different way. For some people it was a story of a tragic hero, who turned away from humanity after losing everything in their name, to others it was a tale of how their Captain took in a lonely young man who would go on to betray her. A sad story of a kid thrown into a battle he could never win by his evil father, a cautionary tale about putting the fate of the world in the hands of a child and so on and so on.
"He seemed like an ok kid at the time." Shigeru said, through a mouthful of pumpkin katsu, "Kind of a downer but I guess I can't blame him." He shook his head as he thought back on "the good old days". "He never really wanted to be a pilot, and he could be a little self centred at times, but I never thought he'd do something like that, let alone twice." Kitakami had a look of disdain on her face as the conversation went on. Her home had been hit pretty hard by Third Impact. Most of her family had turned to core material right in front of her eyes and once the official story came out, she knew exactly who to blame. "They should never have let him in that thing in the first place. It's ridiculous putting the fate of the world in the hands of some immature kid who didn't even know what he was doing!" "Geez Midori," Tama scoffed, "That's a nice glass house you've built yourself..." "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Sumire Nagara had stayed quiet for most of the conversation but even she had to throw her two cents in there. "However you felt about him, I think he had to die..." It wasn't an unpopular opinion aboard the Wunder but unlike with Kitakami, there was no malice in her voice. If anything it almost sounded like she pitied him. "I don't think he meant to do what he did but, as long as he lived, he was a threat to everyone, even himself. As messed up as it sounds, it probably would have been kinder if we'd executed him when we had the chance. I can't imagine going on living, knowing I was responsible for bringing about the end of the world as we know it..."
Asuka left in a hurry. Nagara's words dug into her like in knife in her chest. As cruel as they sounded, she had a hard time disagreeing with her. Shinji was hopelessly immature and had a bad habit of not learning from his mistakes. On top of that, he had been thrown into a world he didn't understand, had no place for him, and understandably feared him. It felt horrible to think so but maybe a quick death would have been the kindest thing they could have done for him. She felt like garbage just thinking something like that but what hurt worse was what she had called the boy: a threat. It was sad, but true. As long as another Impact was possible, the boy was a danger to everyone around him.
And now, so was she.
All of a sudden, the choker that had fit her just fine now felt painfully tight around her neck. And as she laid in her bed that night, she began to wonder if Shinji had felt the same way.
The door creaked open as Shinji stepped inside Mr Clarke's home that same night. The old man had asked him to come over but had neglected to mention why. Shinji had accepted, not wanting to make him mad. The place was humble and minimalist, the home of a man who liked to keep things simple. "Mr Clarke?" he called, "I'm here!" There was no answer. Being a curious boy he decided to search the house. He looked through each room but there was no sign of the man, not even the faintest hint of his presence. "Where is he?"
He didn't have to wait long for his answer as he felt a firm hand grab his shoulder. The kid whipped around just in time to see Wilson's fist zoom towards him, stopping just sort of hitting his face. Shinji yelped in shock, stumbling backwards and landing on his ass. "Gah! What the hell!?" "If this was a real fight you'd be nursing a broken nose right now." the old man said, reaching down and dragging the boy to his feet. "You need to watch your flank more boy. That blindspot of yours damn near got you killed." "I noticed." Shinji grumbled. Mr Clarke could be pretty intimidating for his age but his frustration overpowered his fear. "You may be impossibly strong for a weedy teenager, but that will only help you so much if you don't actually know how to fight." "I'm not that weedy sir..." The boy wasn't entirely wrong. He'd been helping to till the fields for the past few months and encouraged to exercise to improve his performance at work and the benefits were beginning to show, in the form of a few small muscle on his arms.
"That's beside the point!" the old man said, dismissively, "The point is that if you don't know how to properly defend yourself then sooner or later you're going to be outmatched by a smarter opponent. That is why you are here tonight." He led him back to the living room, where he had set up a sheet of thin steel panelling. "Tell me lad, do you know how to throw a punch." "Well yeah, sure," Shinji said. "I mean a real punch." Mr Clarke replied, "Not some weak, swing of the arm. Go on now," he motioned to the steel panel, "Show me how you throw a punch."
Shinji took a deep breath, and swung at the panel. The metal was rusty, but firm and the boy left a long, shallow dent in the steel as the side of his fist scraped across it. "Weak!" the old man barked, "Try again, and this time punch straight ahead. And tuck your thumb in boy. It will just get in your way, and you don't want to break it." Shinji tucked in his thumb, and threw another punch. The dent wasn't nearly as wide as before but it was noticeably deeper. "Much better!" Wilson said, inspecting the indent his pupil had made. "Now, if you really want to do some damage, twist your upper body as you punch, put your whole torso into that strike. And don't stop when you hit the metal, push ahead as if you're trying to punch something just behind your target.
Shinji struck the target again and again, each time leaving his mark on the panel, and his knuckles. Putting his whole body into the punch was easy enough but trying to punch beyond his target was a lot harder than it sounded. It didn't help that he bruised his fist with every punch he threw. "Again." Mr Clarke said as Shinji struck it for the Nth time. "Again. Again!" "Mr Clarke, my hands hurt..." Shinji whined, showing the old man his bruised, red knuckles. "If your greatest fear is hurting your fist," Zeruel said, "Then I dread to see you fight someone with actual talent." "I guess that will do for now." Mr Clarke said. "We'll work on your stance next."
Throughout the night, the old man taught Shinji the basics of combat. He learned about stances, how to block and dodge and how to stay out of his opponent's reach. Despite his age, the old man was in pretty good shape, and was clearly an experienced fist fighter. He even managed to land the odd punch, even though he was clearly holding back. "Where did you learn to fight Mr Clarke?" Shinji asked him, during a quick water break. "Used to box back in my day." he replied, taking a sip from his water bottle. "Was lightweight champion for a few months, back in the early 70s, till I lost it to some lad from... Newcastle I think it was."
Shinji tried to imagine what it must have been like to be alive in the last couple decades before Second Impact. All he'd ever known was the world he grew up in and, from his perspective, the world before the year 2000 must have been like paradise. "Mr Clarke?" he asked, "What was it like, back before the Second Impact?" The old man scoffed. "That's quite an odd question from a boy you're age Kenji. Of all things I thought you might want to know what life was like before Third Impact."
He sat back in his chair, thinking back on the days of his youth. "Well, I can't speak for Japan or the following decades, but back in my prime it was absolute rubbish. My homeland suffered a withered economy, bomb attacks by Irish terrorists and leaders who had no idea what they were doing." He chuckled bitterly. "The music was good though." "But things were better right?" "Well certainly," Mr Clarke said, "But any period in history looks good compared to what we have now." Shinji scarcely believed the man could keep it together. "How do you keep going after seeing two Impacts?" "Well," the man replied, "In my case it, I'd already lost everything the first time around. Having happen a second time, well I wouldn't say it was easier but it wasn't as hard. Both times I lost a lot of the people I loved, but I found new friends, and cherished the ones that still remained from the old days. That's the key boy, learn to accept what will never come back, and appreciate what you still have."
Shinji thought on what his instructor had told him. It sounded like a good idea, but he didn't have anyone from the past to hold onto, not even the ones who were still alive. His thoughts turned to Misato, and how she'd turned him away. Sure she still appreciated Ritsuko, she still cherished Asuka, she still held onto the old staff from NERV but him? Him she'd thrown away like and old shirt that no longer fit her. She was fine keeping so many other people who'd been aiding his Father for years but threw him in the trash over one mistake! One that she herself encouraged him to make in the first place!
"Kenji, are you alright?"
The boy snapped out of his internal temper tantrum. He felt the tears on his cheeks, and a stinging sensation in his hand as he realized that, in his anger he'd squeezed his water bottle so tight it had cracked open. "I'm fine..." he lied. "Just, excited for next time. That's all" Mr Clarke gave him a long, hard stare. It was a weak lie, and Shinji felt like the man could see right through him. "Well, just try to keep a hold of yourself boy." he said. "I doubt the rest of the townsfolk would appreciate you breaking their things because you got too excited." He glanced at his watch. "It's later than I thought... I suppose we better get you back to Kaito before he gives himself a heart attack." As Shinji made his way out the front door he felt the old man's hand on his shoulder again. "See you again at the same time on Monday." he said, "And remember what I taught you tonight lad, and not just about how to throw a punch."
Shinji looked at his bruised knuckles again. Ordinarily, he'd be very concerned about something like that. But tonight, they felt like a mark of pride; a sign of his hard work.
"I will." he said, as he made his way back to the Hamasaki household. "And thank you... Sensei."
