October 14th

It couldn't have been worse for me.

So I was forced to go with Lilia the looks on my parents faces killed me. It was as if they think I came out of my "phase". At least my outfit was adorable, Avery's words not mine. I don't wanna talk about it…write about it. Only thing I will say is that I was forced to dress as a male version of Alice, and everyone played the other characters. Eddy owes me big time that no good…I think it's time to slightly revert back to my old self. "Salutations gentlemen," is about to come back. Though Avery couldn't stop laughing at that…You know what's really bad? I couldn't stop thinking about Ed during the whole party. We shall never be together. AS of right now I have an hour before school starts. One second thought I feel as I'm depriving my future biography so I'll write about the party later. Auf Wiedersehen

Edd shut his thick, faux-leather-bound notebook, and proceeded to force himself up to get the coffee.

"Avery please." Wait he knew that voice, Jennelle.

"Go bother your 'baby daddy' about this nonsense. James will be pissed at you. All of them will be. Don't even try to talk your way out of this. They're coming for Christmas, do you think they won't notice?"

"No, but I-I don't want it."

"Then I'll take the poor baby after it's born."

"I don't even want to go through with it."

"You put yourself into this mess."

"THE FUCKING CONDOM BROKE!"

"Again not my fault you decided to whore yourself out."

"Look who's talking!"

Whoa Edd slowly crept back up the stairs.

He nearly cried when his stomach growled.

Edd ignored it until he heard the front door slam. By that time he had dressed in a long sleeved sweater, and black pants completed with, fingerless gloves, purple suspenders, and a black beanie with an assortment of round flag buttons..

Avery was sitting on the back porch smoking.

It was best to avoid him for at least ten minutes.

He shuffled over to the coffee pot. He pulled from the cabinet, his favorite maroon teacup. He moaned and closed his eyes as the warm liquid slid down his throat. (AN: that felt dirty writing.)

Edd's eyes watched Avery for awhile. His face was looking straight ahead at the back fence. Avery stared at it as if it had kicked his puppy. Edd gently set his cup onto the counter and joined Avery.

"Avery? You ok? I heard your fight with her, is she going to have an abortion?"

"No."

"Is she gonna give the baby up?

"Yes, but she doesn't what 'it' to stay in the family."

"She's an idiot."

"It can't be fagged."

"Are you going to school today?" Double D asked as he saw Avery was still in his pajamas.

"No, I'll get the homework from June."

Edd didn't ask who June was.

Edd looked down at his wrist watch.

Damn it, who the hell did so much time pass?

"I gotta go." Avery waved him off.

Edd ran to his car.

Just as he arrived the first bell rang. Aka starts at 7:25.

He rushed to his locker. No clothes this time. Over the speakers came a reminder of this being spirit.

From the corner of his eye he saw Kevin with his arm wrapped around Nazz, so much for being just friends.

During 3rd period he excused himself to the bathroom. He sat on the counter staring at himself. The door swung open. He half expected it to be Ed, but no it was Eddy.

"Double D, I've decided on a way to get back at Marie."

"I'm listening."

"…What the hell are you doing?"

"Staring at myself."

"Did you somehow get vain?"

"Proceed to tell me your plan."

"Fine. Alright, during lunch I'm going to sneak into your 4th period class and place a certain photo of Marie on to the projector screen, then roll that puppy back up. When the teacher pulls it down bam!" Eddy giggled at plot tapping his pudgy fingers together.

"That's all?" Edd turned to look at him.

"NO, that's only part one." Eddy frowned then nodded to himself.

"Expect me to tell you the rest of the plot tomorrow."

"Will do." Edd turned back to the mirror.

"So…is it true."

Edd knew Eddy would ask him eventually

"Is what," Double D asked innocently.

"Did you and Ed…you know."

"Why would you care?"

"It's just weird that two of my best-"

"Former." Edd corrected him

"Former best friends, humped like bunnies."

"…I told Ed I loved him," Edd couldn't stop himself, why to Eddy did all this come out?

"He said it back, we probably didn't mean it, then he left, came back and then we fought, he left again and didn't come back. I thought I meant something to him, more then s quick fuck, I didn't even come to the possibility of him using me, Ed had to much of a good heart to do that. He even got a tattoo of me, well not me but my Zodiac sign entwined with his."

Eddy didn't answer, he couldn't find the words.

Eddy grew more uncomfortable when Edd continued on, and began to cry.

"Uh-I'm not good with people crying. I uh don't know what to do."

The door swung open again. Eddy jumped, it was Rolf.

Rolf took in the fact that Edd was crying and threw Eddy out of the bathroom.

"It's okay Double-the-Ed-boy. I-"

"I'm fine Rolf. Eddy didn't cause this display of emotions."

"If you say so."

Edd deciding it was time to go back to class, the bell rang. Lunch time.

Edd wasn't hungry at all so he just walked around. As he turned down the 240-270 vestibule He saw Kevin had Nazz pinned against the wall. The sound of a vacuum cleaner trying to suck up a giant wet squid filled the air.

That's just nasty, was Kevin the same way with him? God he hoped not. Edd hurried back through the doors only to bump into someone.

"oh sor-" It was Lee.

"Well if it isn't Double Deee"

"Lee."

"Long time no see. I heard you and Marie are havin a bit of a…disagreement of sorts."

"Uh w-"

"Hold it right there. It so happens I'm on your side. See, We all made a pact years ago that we would all go for an Ed. I get Eddy, May gets Ed and Marie gets you, but when ya moved away Marie didn't have anyone to go after, and as if somethin magical happened Ed grew to be a giant, also grew brains, got a Mohawk and dressed like Marie's perfect man. She quickly went after him, leavin May all alone. May's my favorite, if you couldn't tell."

Ed stared down at Lee, waiting for her to continue.

"I want you to get your man. Ed's a misguided guy. Marie's a whore."

Whoa did not see that coming.

"Uh I-I have to g-go." Edd practically ran past Lee.

4th period was priceless. The look on Marie's face when that screen came down was of absolute horror. That look quickly changed to rage. Ed only looked slightly amused and his eyes drifted between Double D and the blow-up.

Avery burst out laughing when he heard and promised to call off the hit on Eddy.

December 24

Over two months and I don't feel any closer to winning Ed. On Friday I leaked Marie's Sex tape with wait for it…JIMMY! I think it was an even trade for the galleon of pigs blood, sugar, honey, and vinegar mixture she poured on my head at homecoming. I really honestly can't believe I've sunken this low just for Ed. I really must say that it is quite fun. Apparently Avery has something for me. A 12 step guide to get the man of your dreams by Avery Lennox. Here's an excerpt "Step #7 Gradually wear smaller tighter clothing. By doing this slowly your man will be less keen to notice. One of his friends will point it out, which also adds to Step #4: Make Him Jealous, if one of his friends were to notice before him he will take it as a treat to him, hence forth he will be more inclined to make his move." I didn't understand it did you? Well I understood the smaller clothing. Yes I might be a genius of inventions, but dating will be my downfall.

Avery left two days ago for London. I'm alone for Christmas unless I go to my parent's home.

Ciao

7:30 p.m. and Edd's all alone drinking chocolate favored wine, listening to Viva La Vida, and making vegan chocolate cupcakes. Truth be told Edd hardly spent the holiday with his parents, even when he was little.

The door bell rang, as Double D was pulling them out of the oven. Edd swore under his breath when he burnt himself. Sucking on his finger Edd went to see who it could be. He looked through the peek hole and found no one. He opened the door to get a look-around for anyone who could have played a game of ding-dong-ditch on Christmas eve.

No sign of anyone. Double D made a move to step outside but his foot ran into something hard. A purple wooded box. Edd blinked at it. He lifted it as if it were made of sugar.

He shut the door with his foot and carried the box into the kitchen. After staring at it for ten minutes Edd opened it and gasped, there was the sculpture Ed had made months ago.

Not only that, but a few other things, two small metal figures caught his eye, a young Double D and a young Ed. Ed was carrying the small Double D over his shoulder. Goofy smile and all. Edd's face mimicked the Ed figure.

Then he noticed the book,

The Journal of the Alien-Slayer he opened the first page, clearly it was Ed's journal of when they were children. A letter fell out after open the third page.

Double D opened it in 2 seconds flat.

I meant it.

What? What did Ed mean?

And then it hit Edd like a ton of bricks.