Sonny has been rereading Will's letter over and over. He has been able to get through it now without crying. But he just continues to read it. There is so much he wants to say..and he wants to do it in person but he knows that is not going to happen but he has to get these feeling out or he feels he won't be able to function holding them in. He stops the flight attendant who talk to him earlier and asked if she could get him some paper and a pen. She looks at Sonny feeling sad for him. "Yes I do ..I will get it for you." She comes back a few minutes later with stationary and a lap desk for Sonny to write on. She hands it to him and says. "Just tell him everything you are feeling...if you are to be ...then he will love to read it from you." "Thank you very much." Sonny composes his thoughts and begins to write.
Dear Will
My dad gave me your letter just before I boarded the plane. I am writing to you as I am on my flight. I had to write this to you now because I need it to get to you right away. I know you have asked me not to contact you because it would be too hard for you but I can't do that Will. I will write you often if for no other reason than to know you are out there somewhere. While I can't be with you in person by writing to you I can feel as though I am still in your life and that I still feel your love for me.
When you kissed me that day in our place I felt like my life began at that point. I knew then who I was. I wish you hadn't run off. There was so much I wanted to say to you. I wish that we had more time so that I could have shared with you all that was going on with me. I went looking for you after that kiss but couldn't find you. I needed to tell you what you did for me and what you gave me. I felt that I was never going to be able to experience that kind of love with anyone. When I dated girls I felt I was in the wrong place with the wrong person and that really scared me. I thought that this can't be what people talk about when they talk about loving someone. If it was then why is love so uncomfortable. But when I was with you I thought that this is what love should feel like. And when you kissed me, then I knew that yes this is truly what love is and is suppose to be. For me. Then it made sense to me. What I feel for you is the love that others talk about. And I understood myself then.
Leaving you without being able to tell who I was and what I was truly feeling hurt more than you know. Even now I am afraid to tell you. In your letter you felt that what you felt for me was not the way things were suppose to be between guys. But Will I have come to realize that it is the way I am suppose to feel about you. I talk to my dad..and I told him that I thought that I was gay. I know that might scare you to read that but I think I knew it when I first met you. Will no one has ever made me feel the way you do. And I don't know if I could feel it with anyone else but you. I don't know if you feel the same way I do and I am afraid to ask you if you do. But I have to know Will if you think you could love me the way that I love you. I am almost glad I am writing this to you so that I don't see your face if you are to say no. But I have to say it to you so that I can go on. To hold it in and not telling you and never knowing how you feel would be to much to take. So I am asking you Will if you love me the way I love you?
These were hard things for me to write to you Will but they are things I have to tell you. I am sorry if I have frightened you or placed a pressure on you to be something you are not sure of. Because I don't know if you are but even if you are you have to find that out for yourself. And I hope that whatever you decide we can still be friends.
I will love you always
Sonny
Sonny folds the letter and places it on the top of the lap desk he was given. He puts his hand over and worries about sending it. The flight attendant comes by and sees he has finished. "Have you completed you letter?" "Yes" Sonny says. "But I am not sure if I should send it or not, now." The attendant sits down next to Sonny. "Let me ask you ...did you write down what you are feeling inside." "Yes." "And were your words honest?" "Yes." "Then you should send it." "You need to send it for you and for him." "You both need to know how you feel." "I am afraid he will be scared by what I wrote." Sonny says with concern. "Listen to me..you can't worry about speaking the truth..if this boy cares for you half as much as you appear to care for him then I think he will be overjoyed to read it." "I will get you an envelope and a stamp." "You can mail it as soon as we land." Sonny looks at her..."Thank you for talking to me..and for understanding." Trying to lighten the mood a bit she looks at Sonny. "Well if I had someone who care about me as much as you care about this young man." "I would be the happiest girl on the planet." She say with a smile. Sonny smiles back. He now feels he is doing the right thing. He places the letter in the envelope he was given and writes out Will's address. The flight attendant puts and airmail stamp on it and hands it back to Sonny. He puts the addressed stamped envelope on his chest over his heart and holds it there until they land. He is now anxious to mail this to Will. He has no doubts at all.
