When have my life turned this crazy? Not just the normal type of crazy, the 'you-fuck-up-hard-and-you-will-pay ' crazy.

I can't help but wonder as I sit in the room, opposite to the little red-haired boy. He looks just as nervous as me, to my amusement. How could I tell myself that he's dangerous? I was being prejudiced, insensitive and spiteful, wasn't I? Look at this boy, hugging the teddy tightly and looking around, eyes filled with joy and curiousity, how can you say this is dangerous?

(Well...perharps the vicious chakra?)

Like a baby panda. I fondly think, a smile starts to bloom on my face.

"So...Tea?" I suggest. He turns around, nods reluctantly.

"Yes, please." Oh, how polite~

Fortunately, on the round table, the hotel has put a dozen of blue teacups, one round cerulean teapot, some teabags and, thanks God above, hot water. Maybe these are for the elders. Old people love tea, most of them, love tasting the bittersweet on their tongue and the warm smell of the drink hanging in the air. I wish I can have some milk though. The drink will definitely become the food of god if you add more sweet milk into the tea ...Yumm...

Ah, distracted again.

I put the teabag in, pour hot water inside and finally cover the teapot, make sure there is no space left. Then, we stay quiet, waiting for the tea.

"So...You say that you don't need to sleep?" I try to break the unnerving silence. "What do you usually do, then?"

"I...I sit on the roof top...and watch the sky..." Gaara frowns slightly. "The sunrise is... beautiful."

"It is." I nod, agree with him. I love watching those moments... Just...so fucking gorgeous and peaceful... All begins with the first sunlight chases the darkness away... The mighty sun rises up, shines so bright and proud in it's all glory, and the talented artist it is to be able paint all the black sky with it's light as the paintbrush and the bright palettes as it's tints... All those arious colors, light up the horizon and all those droplets of cloud...A sea of deep orange mixes with gold and rosy red and coal purple and coral pink... How can something be that wonderful, I don't know, but my poetic and romantic mind wooing at the think of my favorite scene.

Oh, and I love sunset too.

I suddenly realize Gaara is staring at me without blinking. I tilt my head, confused.

"What...is wrong?" Something flasjes in my mind. "Oh... Did I speak out loud?"

"...Yes."

"Oh God." So. Fucking. Embarassed!!!

I moan, hide my face with two hands as best as possible.

"Why didn't you stop meeeeeeee~?"

"I...I like your words... It's...nice..." He smiles, fainted pink dusted over his cheeks. How adorable~. "Y...You are smart..."

"You are a kind child." I laugh, not so freaking loud so that I won't wake up anyone, and pour the tea out. Jasmine hn? Not my favorite, but it's enough. I can't ask too much from the dessert right?

"Sugar?"

"..Yes please."

"I guess you have sweet tooth ne?" I give one to him, make sure it's not too hot, and back to my cup. I hate hot food, so I will just wait then.

"So...Um..." After a few more minutes of silence, Gaara looks up, the sand holds his cup for him. That's handy! Don't have to fear of being burned..."Y...You are not from the...the village right?"

"If you mean that I am not a child born from the sand and raised by the sun, then yes, yes, I am. I am from Konoha, The Village Hidden In The Leaves." I tell him, the name of my village comes out of my lips, proudly and lovingly, with all the warm memories rise up with the name. I know it ridiculous, but I love my village already, can you really blame me?

All the years spent playing with Sa-chan in the green park, watching the sparkling stars on the silk black sky through the thick crown like a box full of jewels... The noisy, lively sound when people walking and talking... It made me feel, in a werd and comforting way, that I... I am alive.

(And in that rare moment, I turn off all the dark whispers in my mind and focus only on the present.)

"Did I speak out of my mind again?" I look at Gaara, who looks like he is drinking every single drop of my voice. "You know, you will make me feel like a siren if every time I say something, you keep having that expression on."

He startled, doesn't know what to do. Poor thing... I should try to be slower and calmer hn?

"Is...it a bad thing?"

"No. I'm just joking." I laugh. "Don't be so serious. You just look... adorable. Hey, is that your sand?" I point out the obvious. Cloud of golden sand hovering above our head, burns my chakra system a little more, but that's ok.

"Yes... My Sand..."

"Cool. Must be convenient." To easily crush and destroy a body less than a few seconds. "Can you do something interesting about it?"

"...I...Interesting?" He tilts his head in confusion, the sand rustles, mirrors the action.

"Yes. Like...Shape it into something cute?"

"Um..." Gaara looks down to the swirling sand, and blinks when a little cactus peaks up, bouncing up and down like an excited little pet.

Awww~

"Sweet. Make me a cat. A Siamese one. Graceful and thin and pretty with large, lazy eyes and missing one ear." My eyes probably sparkle right now, my heart's beating like crazy in hope. Fuck caution, fuck danger, fuck pain or montrous beast, fuck life. All I care about now is the chance to meet that cat I have longed for this whole time.

(I miss my cat. My sassy, cuddly and smartass Petal. I miss her so much.)

The sand begins to move, molding and twitching and forming into the familiar image I have described. Not perfectly correct, but that's ok. For me to have suck luck, to capable of seeing Petal again makes me smile, a genuine one, as I reach my arms foward. Half-lifed eyes stare at me, then she casually steps into my lap, rubs the head against my cheek and licks my face with small, dry tongue.

"Aren't you beautiful?" I say, look at the red-haired boy. "Thank you so much, Gaara. This is the most lifelike thing I have ever seen."

"You...are welcome." He blushes slightly and pleasingly. "It's...nothing..."

Oh, sweet Gaara. How can I explain the happiness and relief to see something I know I can never see again in this new life? What can I do to repay you, little one?

You know what you can give him, don't you?

I forget how to talk in that moment, only focus on the cat in my arms, petting her rough, grainy, sandy fur and the silent yawning of her.

Do you really want to give him this? Do you want to give him a friendship that won't last long?

Shut up, voice. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

I know what I want to do. Of course. I knew it the moment I saw him, but I was afraid that I would screw up to admit it.

Maybe... just this once, I will follow what I want...

"Hey. Don't you want to touch her too? You make her, right?" I tell him, jump off the chair and walk closer, put Petal on the table and wait. Gaara bends over, his chakra flickers at the suddenly close distance, both scared and happy. One hand holds the fuzzy teddy, another, pale and tiny gently brushes through the golden sand, barely daring to touches mine.

Ah, didn't I promise him a song? Let me see... Stronger Than You, by the lovely Garnet, seems just fits in perfectly now.

'Well I am even more than the two of them!Everything they care about is what I am!I am their fury,I am their patienceI am a conversation!I am made o-o-o-o-ofLo-o-o-o-ove, o-o-o-o-oveAnd it's stronger than you'

My voice, still strangely breathy and husky, rises from my soul and my core, brings out every sorrow and joy and hope. It's clear to listen with all the tranquility surrounds us, echoes and flows like a soft river, a calming wind. I close my eyes, and let my feeling, my soul conquers the melody.

'Lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-oveAnd it's stronger than youLo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-oveAnd it's stronger than youLo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove, lo-o-o-o-ove'

We stay like that, close and quiet, enjoying the peaceful moment with the flowing of dusty wind and shiny moonlight, until the sky lights up and the freezing steps back for the heat. Orange and yellow and red takes control of the pallet, shoving the dark color away.

A new day has begun

Petal dissapears into the sand, to my moaning. My new friend, I suppose, realizes that it's dawn now, looks up and purses his lips and whines sadly.

"I...I have to go now. Yashamaru will be worried...about me..."

"That's ok. I'm grateful for your company." I flip my hair, which somehow is still neat and fabulous. "Have a good day, Gaara."

"...Can I come back..?"

"It'll be my honor, sweetie." For the first time, I reach out and hug him, carefully wrap my hands around his tiny form. "Until the day I come back to Konoha, we can spent time together, if you want."

He freezes under my touch, but, very slowly, relaxes and leans into it, craving for the rare physical contact. The dry, powdery sand encircles me, not in a deathly way, like his special way of hugging.

I watch him goes away, until I can't see the shape of scarlet red that's his hair anymore, I turn around and swallow the whole cup of cool tea left on the table. Bitterness blooms on my tongue, but doesn't chase the warm, sweet feelings in my heart away.

For the first time, I feel...happy. Real, precious happiness that doesn't relate to Sa-chan or Kizashi, that doesn't mix with any dark feelings else.

This is...rare.

And I love it.