A/N: HI! As you noticed, I have changed the fiction title, the summary! The reason is very simple: the story is going to a totally different direction than I have originally planned. LOL okay I know. But didn't make any changes in what you've already read so don't freak you don't have to go back and read the whole thing again.. .it is just I have never really could write something like this.. when the boys were teenagers and all.. and this was a great opportunity for me now.. I wanted the boys to quickly grow up and they could go on with their lives but I couldn't let them grow up till this chapter lol so I thought it was time to make those changes in the summary at least.. the title.. well I didn't like it from the beginning either.. so yeah. something simple and fine makes good, right?
Anyways.. I am very sorry for everything that is going to happen here. a lot of bad things.. not only to James.. but to Kendall also and I feel terrible for doing this.. but that's it.
Go easy on me. Please leave review if you read! Thank you and love you!
Chapter 11 - Tragedy
"I don't even know if I want to go there anymore." James hopped onto the couch crossing his arms and bending his head.
"James." His mom settled next to him caressing his arm. "I've been working very hard…" she heard her husband's chuckle so she corrected herself quickly, "your dad and me … we both have been working very hard to get you into that school. You can learn all the things you've wanted. What has changed? Why don't you want it anymore?"
James broke out of her hold and got onto his feet. He was giving dirty looks to his mother before saying, "so many things have changed. And you know nothing." With that he turned on his heels before a fight would have started, and headed up to his bedroom.
"What's changed, Christopher?"
"Our son is growing up and is getting to know new things. And is starting to see what's important in life. He can make choices. He can decide what he wants to do with his life." He answered coldly.
It was nearly the first anniversary of James and Kendall's relationship, but James' mom still had no idea about the whole thing.
"You spend your whole life out of this house, out of your son's life and you've no idea what's going on with him. It's like he doesn't even have a mother. Where are you all day? And what are you doing? He asks every night like he was eight year old, because he misses you so much. And all I can say is that you're working for us and even though I have had enough of it already, I keep trying, so he doesn't have to carry the weight of a broken family on his shoulders."
"I work my ass off and get this? You threatening me with divorcing?" she asked.
Christopher shrugged. "I don't know, Brooke. It's not right this way. You're totally out of our life. Really, where the hell are you all day?"
"In the office. Where the fuck I would be?"
"I don't know!" Dr. Diamond shouted and turned with his back to her. "Fucking some of your young assistants or how would I know?!"
She sighed. "So you think I'm a bad mom? When all I want to do is trying to give a good financial support to our son?" Brook said ignoring Christopher's sharp remark on her possibly cheating.
"It all doesn't mean a thing if he doesn't feel loved." Christopher turned around again. "Other kids who don't have all those things that he has got are happy because they have a loving family. And I bet James would be happy, too if he wouldn't have a chance to go to LA but had a mother who loves him."
"I love him, Chris."
"No, Brooke. You forgot how to love your child. You are living for your job. I don't care if you don't give a shit to me. But it's James, your son - the boy that you wanted to give the world to. But not for a price like this. He's crying on his boyfriend's shoulder almost every night when it hits him that he hasn't got a loving hug from you in ages. You're pushing him away in a way that is insane. And it's all because we failed making another baby. You then decided that you're a bad mother, and you're trying to make up for it. But because you weren't able to give birth to another baby it doesn't make you a bad mom. But THIS DOES! This isn't a way to prove that you're a good mom!"
Shock of the realization hit Brook. "Does James have a boyfriend?" she crashed to the arm chair unable to believe how much she'd missed. "How did I not notice?"
"As I said you're never at home. You never sit down to talk to him. You're just… like you weren't even here."
"Are they in love?" she looked up.
"Very much so." Christopher smiled. "I'm very proud of James. He's learnt so much in the last year."
"So you say I'm out most of the time. Like I weren't here, it seems like that for you two, right?"
"Yes." He said shortly.
"And he's in love. He's happy with him and with you. And you're on the top of your carrier."
"Yeah." Christopher had a feeling where it all was going.
"Then you two are going to be fine if I won't be here for real."
James, though he headed to his bedroom he stopped at the top of the stairs and listened to the entire conversation. He heard how his dad quietly said, "do what you think is the best." And then he went up to his bed and crawled under the blankets. He dialed Kendall's number on his phone and slowly cried him everything that had happened since they separated after classes.
Exactly a week later Brooke was fully moved out of the Diamond house. They said some kind of solid goodbyes but it wasn't too emotional for none of them.
"I can't believe this happened. She seemed to realize that she was walking on the wrong way and I guessed she'd try to make up for it."
"That's just how she is, dad." James sighed watching the half empty bedroom of his parents.
Christopher let a heavy a sigh escape his mouth, too. "Now I'll have a bunch of paperwork because of this. We haven't talked about the house or you. You're not eighteen yet."
"I'll stay with you. She knows that. She won't even try to fight for me. Why would she? When she just left like this."
"You're right, probably. But we never know. I won't start the procedure till you're eighteen, James. If she won't start it either, than it will be fine. We'll just say that we tried living separated." Dr. Diamond said closing the wardrobe.
James stepped up to his dad and hugged him strongly. "We'll be okay, won't we?"
"We sure will son."
Soon the bell rang breaking their moment.
"It must be Kendall." James said immediately putting a huge smile onto his face and rushing to let him in.
The sight of that made Christopher smile, too. James was happy with Kendall. Indeed happy. And Christopher knew he didn't need anything else than that to be satisfied with his life, too. Even if now it was broken into two pieces. Not like it wasn't before Brooke wasn't a part of their life in a long time, so he didn't feel any emptier than before. But yet it was now really broken. His marriage was over. And it felt different. But for James' good he knew he wasn't going to show it.
Walking downstairs Christopher found the two boys on the couch holding hands and talking quietly. He could clearly see that it was now Kendall who needed comfort for some reason. His face was cold and even scared a bit. Was it the effect of the bad mood in the Diamond house? Or something else? He didn't know.
"What happened guys?" He asked sitting opposite to them.
James with tearful eyes looked up. "It's Jennifer." He said with dying voice.
"What happened to her? Is she all right?"
"Now she is. For ever." Kendall cried and then collapsed onto James' shoulder.
"Get him something dad, please." James whispered caressing Kendall's back.
Christopher rose and soon he was back with two pills and a glass of water. "Son, Kendall, take these."
He did.
They all stayed quiet for the next ten minutes which was more than enough for Kendall to fall into a deep sleep. James somehow got off the couch and covered him with a blanket then motioned to his dad to go after him.
"Last night when she was going home from work she got hit by a car right in front of her workplace."
"Oh my God."
"Kendall said that from the information of the doctors she didn't make it to the hospital either."
"Shit." He wrapped his arms around his son and let him cry against his chest.
"Why is this all happening now with us? Why so sudden? What do we do wrong? His mom, dad, his mom. He doesn't have anyone else but his asshole father. After this he'll be forced to live with him. His mom. His mom."
"Shh.." Christopher kept him close enough trying to drown his own tears before they would fall.
"If I didn't have you and Katie, I would go after her." Kendall said under his breath as he and James were lying in bed the following day.
"Don't say such stupid things. You have many reasons to live for." James tried to comfort him and not think about a life without Kendall.
Kendall's voice was thin and quiet as he replied. "I'm not sure about that."
"You don't have to be. Just believe me. Okay?" James asked turning Kendall's face gently towards his own.
The blonde just slightly nodded his head then went back to rest on James' chest.
"I wonder that your dad hasn't looked after you yet."
When the accident happened Kendall's father was the physician in attendance so he quickly got informed about what happened to his ex wife. In fact he was the one who called Kendall. The memory of that call got written into Kendall's heart with pain, with aching tears rolling down on his cheeks as the young boy realized that it wasn't a stupid joke, that his mother was gone, and would never come back.
That night Donald came over to Kendall and Katie, told them that their mom didn't suffer at all, and that he was going to take care of his children even if they were going to challenge first. Katie didn't. She loved her father, she was way too young to understand what his father had done to their mom, but probably if she would have known, she would have forgiven, too. She was that kind of girl. The daddy's girl. Kendall was different. He looked at his father with true hate, feeling his mom's pain through every glance that he got from him.
But on the night of his mom's death he just sat in the living room staring at a picture of him, Katie and Jennifer. And cried.
Cried long into the night, into the following morning when he early got into his car and drove to his boyfriend.
After Kendall appeared and Dr. Diamond learned what happened, he made a call to the Knight house, knowing that Donald must have been worried at least a bit. After all then he was responsible for his son, only him.
Kendall knowing James' dad, just quietly noted, "I bet your father called him."
"You're probably right." He caressed his head. "We're going to get through this, Kendall. I know we are. Just have faith."
"It happened so sudden, James. With the same quickness I can lose all the other important things in my life. It only takes a blink of an eye. I'm afraid of tomorrow. I'm afraid of each fucking day for the rest of my life. I'll never know when something like this happens to us again."
"You never know that, darling." The brunette kissed the top of his boyfriend's head and closed his arms around him even tighter. "You never know it. This is why we are supposed to try and enjoy every minute of our lives, while we're here for each other. Do you see my point, Kendall?"
"I do, James." Kendall answered looking up at him and pecking his lips. "But it's terrible."
"I know."
James knew. However he didn't lose his mother the way Kendall did, it almost felt like that. She wasn't a part of his life in so long that he nearly considered her dead. It sounded cruel, James knew that, too. But it was only the truth. Despite all the pain he felt because of his mother, he murmured a quick prayer for Brook's well being, because he didn't want to lose her for real, he wanted to know that she was somewhere out in the world yet, and loved him in her own way.
