Chapter Eleven:

"Jane."

No response.

"Jaaannne..."

Silence.

"Jaaaaaaaaaaan-"

"WHAT, MAURA? I'M IN THE SHOWER!" Jane shouted, wiping dried blood from her forehead with a damp washcloth as she tried to shampoo the worst of the mess out of her long brown hair.

Although there was enough room in the shower for two (if the bathers didn't mind getting a little cozy), they had opted to take turns cleaning up. Jane's argument was that they would never come back out of the shower if they went in together, which would be embarrassing all around when they finally met back up with their new friends. Maura, who disliked waiting for anything, especially while she was covered in food, was very unhappy with this executive decision. She had been trying to change Jane's mind by complaining through the bathroom door for the past several minutes.

"I'm very uncomfortable!" The medical examiner called back, swinging her feet as they dangled over the side of the mattress. She had stripped off her ruined clothes and slipped the hotel staff a Benjamin in advance to take care of the stains, but her hair and skin were still coated in God knows what, and she really wanted to join her lover in the shower. The towel she was seated on protected the covers, but it didn't make her feel any cleaner.

Jane was unsympathetic. "Wait your turn. You lost the coin toss."

"But bacterial colonies can double in size every 9.8 minutes under optimal conditions!"

The detective debated turning up the shower to try and drown out Maura's voice, but knew that it was a lost cause. The medical examiner would find some other way to be heard. "You aren't covered in bacteria, just food," Jane hollered, scrubbing the skin of her left arm rather violently with the soaped-up loofah Maura had insisted on bringing along for "exfoliation purposes".

"Humans are always covered in bacteria!" Maura shouted, sounding more than a little desperate. Without her clothes, the hotel room was very chilly, patches of her skin were stained with wine, and there were breadcrumbs in her hair. Those conditions were completely unacceptable. "Jane, please?"

Imagining Maura's disappointed frown was too much for the brunette, and Jane wisely decided to forfeit this battle. Bickering with Maura about who got to use the shower first was not at the top of her list of priorities. Besides, what kind of sane person said no to having a naked Maura in their shower? She heaved a sigh and began looking around for her razor, figuring that she might as well shave since she was all lathered up anyway. "Fine... get in here."

A few moments later, a very happy (and very naked) blonde doctor hopped in next to Jane underneath the warm spray. "It took you four minutes and twenty seven seconds to realize that arguing with me is pointless," Maura informed her, stealing the loofah that Jane had been using and trying to clean the worst of the mess from her freckled skin.

"Isn't love supposed to be about sacrifice?" Jane asked, pausing mid-way up one thigh to examine her lover's bare form.

"Oh, what a sacrifice," Maura teased, making sure to give Jane a good view of her breasts. "Here, turn around, you missed a spot on your back."

"Oka- Aah! Maura – That's not my back..."

The medical examiner, who had taken the opportunity to grab two handfuls of Jane's vulnerable and particularly delicious behind, tucked her chin over Jane's shoulder and purred contentedly in the detective's ear. "Hmmm. I know. I'm a doctor, remember? I've studied human anatomy extensively."

Jane swallowed, her throat feeling strangely dry despite the water raining down on them. "Uh... I don't suppose you want to teach me?"

"Mmm. All right, but I don't think you'll find this lesson in any medical textbook..."

...

"Ow!"

"Hold still."

"Ouch!"

"I told you to hold still..."

"But it hurts..." Alex Cabot complained, flinching as Olivia continued combing the last of the salad out of her hair. It still needed to be washed, but they didn't want to clog the drain with spinach leaves and dressing, and so they had made use of a small trash can to get rid of the larger chunks.

"It's your own fault," Olivia said firmly. She hadn't gotten too dirty in the first place, but poor Alex was an absolute mess. "You should have stayed under the table with me."

"Coward. Ow! Did you have to do that?"

"Unless you want to be a cabbage patch kid for the rest of our vacation, yes," Olivia insisted. Since Alex was the one who had started (or at least escalated) the food fight, Olivia didn't feel too bad for her. The lawyer had gotten her just desserts. In fact, she was wearing them. There was a streak of pie on her right temple.

"Did Petrovsky have a good laugh at me?" Alex asked as Olivia brushed the last of the salad from her hair, disposing of a shredded carrot and shepherding the naked, slightly cleaner attorney into the bathroom.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the memory of Petrovsky's merriment. She would never be able to look at the Honorable judge with a straight face again. "I think she was laughing at everybody. She plotted this, you know."

"It doesn't surprise me," Alex muttered, bending over to pull the stopper and filling a bath. "Since most of the salad is out of my hair, would you like to join me for a bath instead of a shower? I feel like soaking with some bubbles..."

The detective felt her heart soften. The thought of her naked lover, tempting pale skin covered only by bubbles, probably had something to do with the shift in Olivia's mood.

"But won't we be late?" she asked, not really protesting as Alex dragged her towards the bathroom.

"Probably," the attorney admitted. She shot Olivia a salacious grin over her shoulder as she adjusted the stopper and let the tub fill with steaming water. Testing the temperature with her hand, she let out a contented sigh and tiptoed over the side. "I don't think it will matter, though."

"Why not?" Olivia asked, running her hands briefly under the tap at the sink to remove some dressing before following her lover into the tub.

"Because I have a feeling that we won't be the only tardy ones in the group. I'll bet you anything you like that Serena and Abbie are doing the same thing right now..."

Olivia grinned, deliberately misunderstanding as she poured a glob of body wash into her hand. "What, taking a bath?"

"No, this..."

For the next several minutes, cleaning up was postponed in favor of more pleasurable activities.