A/N: First, congrats to all of the countries in the Olympics... love the spirit of the games! So exciting and such great competition! So there were lots and lots of opinions on how things should proceed... let's see what happens! Maybe one of you needs to be the BoLo relationship guru! Here we go... please excuse mistakes, I made posting the priority over proof reading! Sorry if it's a grammatical disaster! The summer heat is frying the brain!
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CHAPTER 11: Making Memories
Kenzi had gotten the Professor, Lauren and Maverick off to Fiji in Tamsin's car by seven a.m., thanks to Maverick's caseworker thinking the trip was a good idea for the young boy's vision of his future in the world.
Lauren, however, was another story. So, she enlisted a certain little boy's help, possibly telling him that Dr. Lewis did not really want to go because she had to pack up her belongings for a new job that she MAY be taking. From there, Maverick made it his mission to talk the doctor into staying at Kenbo in Hawaii.
The young student had wanted to bring along his rock collection, but the Professor explained that his precious treasures may not make it through the security check, so instead promised to go through the collection with him when they got home.
The flight had gone without issue other than the fact that their internal clocks were a mess because of the day and a half time jump they had to do. Once they got to the airport, Val picked them up, hustling them through the airport as she explained the venue had been changed due to the hazardous conditions, leaving Bo with less time to warm up. To top it off, she'd lost yet another shirt to the reefs yesterday in addition to more skin and she was basically about to surf naked if they didn't get the gear bag Kenzi had packed to her right away.
Lauren decided to offer her services at the medical tent, telling Maverick that when he saw Bo to let her know she was here and watching from the medical tent. He agreed, excited to see his favorite mentor. Professor Meade agreed to keep an eye on him for Lauren so the group split up, Val running off to work the Kenbo product launch booth with Vex.
Once at the tent, Lauren had found Mitch and, after scolding him for diming her out to Bo, asked how she could help. The young therapist was excited to have the doctor there, but the conversation soon became about the elephant in the room,
"So... I was surprised when Doc Mansfield told me you were moving to Colorado. I thought that you and Bo were... well..."
"Bo and I hit a road bump... it happens, right? She'll go her way and I'll go mine. It was nice while it lasted."
Mitch noticed the doctor's teary eyes just before she turned away and grabbed a towel from the bench. He smirked as he noticed her use it to dab at her eyes before she pretended to fold it, replacing it on a massage table.
The young therapist wasn't about to let the topic go. He's spent the last few days with Bo and had seen she and Lauren when they were together. This was no ordinary love... anyone could see it, especially with how upset Bo had gotten when he gave her the news... maybe intentionally.
"So, that's not what it looked like to me and I'm pretty sure Bo doesn't feel that way."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, uncoupled couples don't talk about each other all the time. I mean... geez... it's Lauren this and Lauren that... so... you dumped her, I guess?"
"What? No! No! She did the dumping!" Lauren insisted.
He frowned, his eyebrows knitting together, "Wow. You two need to get your stories straight then. She said you dumped her on the phone last night."
"Actually, she dumped me in person in the airport the day she left the states to come here."
"Oh, that day. She told me you were just taking the week to breathe a little after a disagreement you had."
"Disagreement? That's what she called it?"
"Hey, don't shoot the messenger, Doc."
Lauren folded her arms over her chest, standing still until a young man came running up to the medical tent,
"Hey Doc... sorry... you a doc?"
"Doctor Lewis. How can I help you?"
The young man turned around, his wet hair dripping down his back held three deep gashes,
"Coral reef?"
"Man, they weren't messing around when they told us they had to move the site. It's shallow out there! We thought we'd stay there and warm up while the women put their finals down, but I think I'd rather wait for the regulation warm up."
"Lay down, face down on the table, please." Lauren pulled on a pair of gloves, "I can certainly get on board with that idea."
"Is it okay if I look up? You gotta see these chicks surf, Doc. They're a righteous bunch, this group. There's gonna be some epic moments!"
"Of course. I'd hate for you to miss an epic moment in life." Lauren smiled as her patient settled on the table, propping himself up on his elbows."
"The surf is rough, Doc. You're gonna have some business today. Hopefully nothing too serious... no matter how much you wanna win, you never want to see the competition go down hard... no one wants that."
Lauren bit her lip as a surge of fear passed through her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath reminding herself that these people were all professionals... that Bo was a professional. She'd probably surfed thousands of waves with nothing but a few cuts, scrapes and bruises all of her life before her drowning. She'd be fine. After all, surfing was going to be something she would now be dealing with in Colorado. It was a new sport – albeit exhibition for now – in 2020.
"Yea, I'm definitely not a fan of anything too serious."
"I can certainly understand that, Doc."
He lifted his arm to point, but Lauren was quick to address the action,
"Okay, I'm going to need you to remain in one position, uh..."
"Mark. My name is Mark... from California."
"Well, hello Mark from California. I'm going to need you to lie still. You can watch, but from a stationary position."
"Got it, Doc. Sorry. I just wanted to tell you to look up... that's Carissa, one of the big three... well, at least that's what my country calls them."
"Oh yea? Why's that?"
"Carissa, Alana and Bo... the big three. The question is, what will be the ranks when the season ends. I gotta tell ya, my money is on Dennis. She's a rad surfer and damn... she died and was brought back to life by Poseidon himself! A Dennis Championship? It's just meant to be, Doc."
Lauren gave him a tight smile. She would have liked to think that she had something to do with Bo's 'rebirth', but if the surfers wanted to declare her the God Poseidon, who was she to argue. She chuckled to herself, before looking up at the woman currently riding a huge wave... but the moment ended quickly... and fiercely...
"Oh dude! Wipe out! That's gonna leave a mark!"
Lauren's hands were tightened into fists as she watched the man on the wave runner search for the surfer. It felt like hours before she finally saw the bright yellow tip of a surfboard emerge from the water, the surfer not far behind as she handed the board to the driver, then climbed onto the sled and up onto the seat of the fast water craft. They drove off to safety, allowing Lauren to return her eyes to the surfer's back.
In that moment, she realized that this is what her life was about to become. Most sports could be very dangerous while others... not so much. She was going to get to know all of these athletes, knowing that she was going to have to watch them get hurt on occasion... sometimes, badly. She would have to find a way to reconcile these fears that survived with Bo's incident somehow or she would not be able to do the job she was being hired to do.
Looking back up at the water, she sighed as she spoke to her patient,
"So, Mark... you don't surf for a few hours?"
"Probably. It depends on how long it takes Dennis to stack up her points. She's shredding it out there this week. Woman is surfing like she's possessed."
"You don't say." Lauren mused as she went to work making sure the wounds were clean, "Do you have a dry shirt to put on for a while?"
"Sure. Does it need stitches?"
"Well, I'm going to use surgical glue the deepest part, then stitches before using a waterproof dressing. I don't suppose you brought something that will keep this dry while you surf?"
"Actually, I did. It's a little cold out there, so I have waterproof, dry suit... you name it."
"The name is keep it dry." Lauren replied.
"Got it, Doc." The boy pressed up off the table, "That it?"
"That's it." Lauren smiled before she spoke again, "Mark? Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure thing, Doc."
"Why do you do it? Why surf and put your life at risk out there."
Mark smiled, scratching his chest, "It's the rush, Doc. There's nothing like it in the world. I mean, I've ridden roller coasters, bungy jumped, gone sky diving, base jumping, snow boarding down some radical faces, but this... this is you against the big mother herself!"
"The big mother?" Lauren asked, quizzically.
"Mother Nature, Doc! When you're out there, you're taking on the most powerful force on the planet and trusting her to cradle you to her big double D's rather than spank you like you just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar!"
Lauren laughed, "Great analogy." She smiled, "But... aren't you ever afraid?"
He looked out at the surf for a long moment before he replied, "Afraid of feeling a wall of water wrap around me, creating my own little universe that blocks out all of the noise of the idiots in this world? Nah. That's peace, Doc... the ultimate peace. It only lasts seconds, but it's worth it. Of course, I've also loved puzzles all my life. There's not greater puzzle that solving a wave. How will I enter it, how long can I ride it, what tricks can I do on it and can I thank the wave for a great ride and exit it without looking like a total idiot... that's... well... fun."
"Fun." Lauren replied.
"Yup. Fun. Do you have fun at your job?" Mark asked.
"Well, I don't know that I would call it fun... I mean... putting people's bodies back together again after they do stuff like this..." She thought for a moment, trying to be careful not to offend the surfer, "...I guess if I'm successful at treating them, I feel... satisfied that I've done something to help them. If I'm not... well... that's just flat out depressing."
Mark frowned, "Yea, I get that, I guess."
"I've always been a puzzle solver... I loved working in the lab, researching cures and finding solutions to diseases. That was a rush for me, but people kept telling me what a great surgeon I was and I guess... I guess at first, I felt an obligation to use my gift. Now, I'm excited to take on something new that's related to sports and my licenses as both an Orthopedic Surgeon and Emergency Medicine physician. I don't know that it's fun, but it's definitely exciting."
Mark nodded, before turning back to the action. He immediately pointed towards the ocean,
"See! Look! Dennis is up... I'm telling you, since her accident she's been surfing like a whole new surfer. They say she released her burden."
"Oh yea?" Lauren really wasn't sure what he was talking about, but he continued.
"Yup. She gave it up for love... let it all go and... well... you can see. She's writing love letters in the waves. Dude, she's a-mazing!"
Lauren looked up to see Bo perched atop a massive wave, cutting back and forth over the crest,
"Ah, it's a perfect ride! Watch this... Do it! Do it!" Mark held his hands up, "YES! 360! The woman is pure! Oh yea, dropping into the barrel... hanging out behind that monster curtain! Tuck, grab the rail, get your weight over your front foot and put the pedal to the metal, Dennis! I tell ya, Doc, she's amazing! Tucked behind the curtain, looking through the window, there is nothing like it in this world..."
Lauren's eyes were wide as she wondered where the hell a window was. She couldn't see Bo at all, so how in the world could Bo see anything?
"YES! Look at her adjust her line! She keeps her forward momentum going, still holding onto the rail to keep control rather than bailing off! She goes straight along the face of the barrel! Most of us, point our boards down, but not Bo... OH MY...! Damn girl! Did you see her kick back straight back in behind the curtain?! Oh no... it's gonna close... get low, Bo... speed... it's collapsing..."
Lauren held her breath watching Bo disappear again inside a tube of whitewater, her hand gripping the table as Mark shouted,
"OH! Oh dude! She's out! She's freaking out! Only Dennis, baby! How the hell did she get outta that! The woman has an angel on her shoulder! That barrel should have collapsed right on top of her! No way!"
Another young man walked up and high-fived the patient on Lauren's table,
"Dude, Dennis is a fucking goddess. She's got to be the daughter of Poseidon himself, I swear. Anyone else would have gone DOWN on that one!"
"I know, right? Too bad she bats for the other team. Word has it her girlfriend is a blonde hottie who just won an Olympic medal or some shit like that."
"I wish I was a lesbian." Mark's friend replied.
Lauren choked back her laughter as Mark spoke,
"Hey Doc, this is my buddy Sam. He's the only one who won't need your services today! See? Not blood, no cuts! He's the only one of our group! What do you think about that, Doc?"
"I think Sam is smart." Lauren replied.
"Nah... Sam is cautious."
Lauren came back, "Some would say that cautious will keep Sam alive."
Mark shook his head, "You don't surf, do you, Doc?"
"I'm a beginner." Lauren replied, her mind flashing to making love with Bo atop the long board at night, the pink, orange and purple hues of sunset shrouding the brunette in a fantastic light. Shaking out the thoughts, she turned back to Mark,
"Well, let me give you a more advanced lesson. When you're in surf like this, there's no such thing as cautious. You have to ride the wave and remember that the wave isn't going to slow down for you. If you don't stay at the front end, it'll bury you and send you down to the coral so your back can be turned into ground beef like mine."
Sam leaned over, "Dude. That is so gnarly! It looks like you got attacked by an alligator or something!"
Lauren sighed, "Well, be careful. Going into open water with that wound can be very..."
"I know, Doc. It's not my first rodeo. MRSA, flesh eating bacteria and a lot of other nasty parasites can find their way into the gaping holes in my back. Keep them clean and keep them covered."
"And..."
"And come back after I'm done so you or one of the other brilliant life savers over here can make sure it's clean and stitched tight before I get on the plane for home."
Lauren nodded, "There's going to be bruising, so expect any pressure on your back to hurt for quite a while. That one cut is much deeper than I'd like for surfing, but I'm clearing you with the promise that you will come back to get it rechecked when you're finished."
"Thanks Doc... and by the way... if you hadn't cleared me, I would have signed the waiver letting me surf anyway."
"Of course you would." Lauren smiled, "Be careful out there, Mark. Go on then... go win your Bo Dennis bet."
"I'm gonna get her digits, Doc. She may think she's a lesbian, but I'll prove her wrong."
Lauren smiled, "Good luck."
The blonde watched as the young boy walked away and a young woman approached, "Hi Doc. My back is cramping up and I'm in the next heat. Anyone available to help me out?"
Lauren looked up at the team of massage therapists, "Any clear tables, Mitch?"
"Andrea's free."
Lauren pointed towards the back table and smiled at the thank you she received. Taking a seat at the table outside of the tent, she looked out at the ocean. Mitch came and leaned over her shoulder, handing her a pair of binoculars,
"If anyone gets hurt, it helps if you see the modality of the injury more closely when they bring them in. Use these."
Lauren smiled up at Mitch, squinting into the sun, "Thanks."
"You bet, Doc." He said, "She's a pro, Lauren. She doesn't fall much... she knows when to be all in and she knows when to fold. She's a lot smarter now... a more mature surfer who doesn't take unnecessary risk. She's more focused, better conditioned and more relaxed. All of those things are creating quite a bit of chatter around her in the judges' circle. They really like what they're seeing. She's got a real shot now and I don't think that would have happened if she hadn't drowned and met you."
Lauren smiled and turned back to the ocean. She looked down at the binoculars, willing the feeling in the pit of her stomach to go away. Adjusting the width to fit her eyes, she lifted the eyeglasses up and watched one of Bo's competitors ride the wave. She focused first on the woman's facial expression... the focus, the concentration and somewhere behind both... excitement... happiness.
She allowed her eyes to wander down to her stance, watching how her feet moved on the board, the use of her knees, hips and core. The scientist in her turned on and she began to analyze the biomechanics of a surfer... one after another until she recognized a stance... Bo. She remembered the lesson the brunette had given her about goofy foot stances versus natural footing, then explaining that she was a switch footer.
Kenzi explained that's why Bo was able to do some tricks that other people couldn't... at least, that was the young sister's belief. Bo was a lefty and it was pretty common for them to be goofy foot surfers, but when Lauren learned that she was cross dominant and swung a baseball bat right handed, she started to gain interest in how that effected athletes and their skills.
Lauren opened her phone entering a note to herself that when she got to Colorado, to look into any studies regarding biomechanics and dominance in sport. If there weren't any that satisfied her questions, she'd set up a study of her own. Truly, the research aspect of helping athletes to run faster, jump farther and be stronger, among other skills, was what she most looked forward to in her new job. She was not looking forward to having to repair ACL tears just months before the 2018 Winter Olympics, trying to get the best of her country back to peak level.
She sighed, knowing that it would happen and there would be nothing she or her staff could do about it other than create the most comprehensive and sound conditioning and training program to make the athlete's bodies as resilient as possible, while still allowing them to train for peak skill development.
"Doc? Excuse me, Doc?"
Lauren shielded her eyes as she looked up at one of the event officials,
"Sorry. Can I help you?"
"Got any sunscreen?"
Lauren was saved by Mitch who called out, "Big bin of it right to your left, courtesy of Hawaiian Tropic."
Mitch smiled at Lauren who turned back to see Bo high atop a massive wave. As she slid down the face, the therapist came to stand next to her,
"Wow... big wave..."
"I see..." Lauren replied.
"Shit." Mitch said as the pair watched helplessly.
"Bo." Lauren whispered as she watched the brunette disappear into a rush of whitewater, her board popping up only to be tossed over and pulled under again. Lauren's breath caught as she watched Dyson zoom across the waves, focused on a spot that appeared completely void of any life.
It was a long moment... a long moment that took Lauren back to that day on the beach... the frantic look on Kenzi's face, the blood on the rescued surfer, face covered in dark wet hair, body limp and lifeless...
"She's good."
The worlds left Mitch's mouth, but remained a distant sound. Lauren felt like she was clawing for the surface, paddling through memories trying to get to present day life to believe what she heard her colleague say... panic... fear... relief. She was alive, Lauren reminded herself. She was alive back then and she's alive now.
She whispered to herself, 'Let go of the fear, Lauren. Bo's life is her choice. Her choice is surfing. She knows the risks. She knows the rewards. It's hers to choose and no amount of fear is going to help her or prevent her from doing what she chooses. You do not have a right to try to control her choices though others have spent their lives controlling yours like it's their job. Let it go, Lauren.'
"Lauren? Did you hear me?"
The blonde looked up at Mitch, clearly not completely focused on his words as she replied, "Yea... yea, I did. She's fine."
Lauren looked up to see Bo paddling back into the group behind the sets, "She's going back in?"
Mitch nodded, "Until the horn sounds, she's all in, Lauren. That's how you win championships."
"Right." Lauren nodded, repeating her latest mantra to herself.
It was eight minutes later... and Lauren knew because she counted every second... that the final horn sounded. She watched as others around her cheered. She caught Mark's eye as he jockeyed to get into position to have a better view of the water, yelling to her,
"I should have bet you, Doc!"
Lauren smiled back, not understanding what he meant until she looked up to see the crowd of surfers and wave runners gathering around Bo. There were reporters with microphones on surfboards and cameramen in the water as Bo's hands were raised triumphantly over her head.
A dark-haired woman paddled over to Bo and hugged her, pulling her off the board while two other blonde women gave her a hug as well. They were all laughing and celebrating. Dyson idled the wave runner behind the group, smiling as he watched the group as well.
"Another win. It's really amazing, Lauren. There is just no way that woman should be back up on the board and doing what she's doing this season. Medically speaking, she just shouldn't be out there." Mitch smiled, still applauding with the crowd.
All Lauren heard was 'another win'. She'd won? How did they even determine that? She'd fallen, right? Was it the most falls? The most waves? She had no idea how the determined a victor. She always imagined it was whoever came back out of the water at the end of the day.
"That's great, Mitch."
"That's great?" Mitch asked, "Your girlfriend just won the friggin' Fiji Pro and you say, "That's great?"
Lauren scowled, "She's not my girlfriend anymore, Mitch and I don't know enough about surfing to understand the magnitude of what Bo has just accomplished."
"Well, it's like getting into the semifinals for the gold medal match every time she wins an event... she just has to win a shitload more semifinals than you do to get the pretty little necklace."
Lauren nodded, "I'm not quite sure, but I think I've just been insulted."
"Nah... you were one in millions who achieved what you achieved. You done good, Doc."
"That sounds like the equivalent of 'that's great'."
"Exactly." Mitch smiled, "Well, your non-girlfriend will certainly want to see you, so I'll get you covered."
"That's okay, Mitch. I can..."
"No way, Lauren. Bo will have my ass if I let you stay here all day as an excuse to not deal with whatever it is that's going down between you. I'll be back as soon as I can find someone. She'll be out there a while and then she has to talk to a million reporters. You've got time, so don't go hyperventilating over having to actually talk to your not-girlfriend."
Mitch walked away, leaving Lauren to sit, staring out at the brunette through her binoculars. The sun glistened off of her hard body as she climbed back onto her surfboard and paddled over to where a reporter was waving from, clearly eager to get an interview.
She watched as Bo calmly spoke, the reporter seemingly more excited than Bo was. The brunette glanced towards the beach on occasion, seemingly distracted. That was when she saw her looking right at her. Bo smiled before turning her attention to another voice calling out to her.
Lauren pulled the binoculars from her face, watching the group in the distance. Maybe life didn't have to be lived in a close up.
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It had been a long day and the men were now up. Bo had gone off to do some press stuff while the Professor and Maverick had gone to explore some rocks along a local mountain with a guide. Mitch had gotten relief staff to cover for Lauren who decided that with nothing else to do for now, she'd just go down and sit on the beach. Watching the event throughout the day had taught Lauren that the number of wipeouts that would happen was relatively low among these professionals. While they looked horrible and scary when they happened, every surfer except one had come back to land with no more than a few cuts from hitting the reef below the surface.
The woman who had been brought to the tent on a stretcher was experiencing some numbness and tingling in her limbs after a particularly bad tumble, so Lauren and Mitch had agreed that a scan at the hospital of her neck and back was the best precautionary measure to take. The surfer had resisted at first, but her manager had stepped in and urged her to do as asked. She was not in the running for any of the top slots in the overall championship anymore and would receive no more or less pay for her efforts today if she bowed out before the last several minutes of her group.
Watching the ambulance leave had been hard for Lauren, again bringing up memories of Bo. But as the day went on, she found herself appreciating the sport as well as the abilities of these athletes more and more. It didn't seem such a crapshoot anymore. They were skilled and knowledgeable just like any other competitor in any other sport.
She also learned a lot from observing and took some camera footage of how the event was set up. If this world were to be part of her life in her new position, she would damn well be prepared and competent enough to know her job.
"Hey there."
Lauren looked up to see a familiar voice standing over her, "Hi."
"Well, I'm finished my duties for work, mission accomplished."
"I saw that... congratulations, Bo. You were amazing... well... at least I think you were. I really don't know anything about how the decide who wins, but I'm sure the judges know what they're talking about."
"Were you afraid?"
"Of and on... could have done without the wipe out."
"Yea, tell me about it. Not my proudest moment, but certainly not a bad wipeout by my standards. I didn't feel like I was in a washing machine. Just stayed down until I saw the breakers chill out over my head, then came up and swam to where I knew Dyson would be waiting."
"So what... you were just hanging out on the bottom of the ocean all that time?"
"Well, it beats the alternative of trying to swim up through a massive wave that's going to flip you over and over again until you're not sure where the sky is anymore."
"Washing machine..." Lauren thought, "... Oh! Now I get it."
"I knew you would." Bo smiled, "You're the smartest woman I know, after all."
Lauren smiled, before turning back towards the men who were starting their competition.
Bo frowned at Lauren's seeming disinterest in engaging in a conversation with her, so offered,
"Well, the geologists are off on their rock hunt. I guess that just leaves you and me. Anything you'd like to do in Fiji?"
"You're finished?"
"Yup."
"What about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow is just more press stuff and selling my boards."
Lauren looked back at the surfers, "Well, this is all sort of last minute for me. I've never really had a chance to do anything when I was here for volleyball, so I guess..."
Lauren hesitated, then decided to put all of her cards on the table,
"Look, Bo... I just want to say that... I came her to bring Maverick to see you. I came here to learn about surfing... for my new job... I mean... I'll be overseeing all of the Olympic programs which means I'll be the first ever Team USA Surfing physician. You know my professional life is very important to me and I want to be sure that..."
"Lauren... please... stop. Look, I'm not going to mention staying in Hawaii or going to Colorado. Your life, your choice... but I do plan to try to make the decision difficult for you before you leave." Bo smiled.
"So you plan to mess with my head and badger me until I decide to stay in Hawaii for a big fat maybe with you?"
Bo frowned at the anger in the blonde's voice, "No, Lauren. Look... I'm trying to be friendly here. I'm trying to begin to mend a fence and tear down the big wall that has apparently been erected between us... by both of us, not just me, Lauren. We've failed as a couple because life through a ton of shit at us that neither of us were prepared to handle. We've got a lot to work out and whether that means we're doing it in separate states or not, we can still try."
"Are you suggesting a long distance relationship?" Lauren asked.
"No. I'm suggesting a long distance friendship... for starters." Bo replied, "I'm not going to try to make you do anything you don't want to do, Lauren. But I am going to do everything I can to make you hear exactly what you did not hear before I left..."
Lauren nodded, "I'm listening."
Bo pulled out her cell phone, "Good and since recording conversations seems to be a thing these days, I'm going to record this one and send it to you so you can listen to it over and over again because I don't want you misconstruing my meaning again."
Bo hit record and held the phone out...
"Bo, I didn't..."
"No, Lauren. You did. You jumped to conclusions before. Now listen... I love you... I've never stopped loving you, but watching you go from this strong determined woman to this submissive woman... seeing you in that jail at the beginning of your visit... I hadn't seen that kind of response in years... not since my Aunt. So, I now understand a lot about what happened with Nadia and how she was able to manipulate you. I see the confusion and pain in you and I want that to heal... but that takes time, Lauren. So, I'm giving you that time... I'm giving you that space... I'm giving you that freedom."
Bo's voice cracked as she turned away from the blonde, "I'm giving you all you need so that you can heal and find yourself... the real you. Then, when you feel that has happened, I hope that you will reach out to me... maybe you can do that along the way as well... you know... keep in touch, maybe see each other once in a while... and we'll see what happens. I'm leaving it up to the old 'if it's meant to be, it will be', phrase."
Lauren turned to see tears streaming down Bo's face. The brunette shook her head, "I'm sorry... I promised I wouldn't cry, but... how do you turn to someone you love and have thought of having a life with and say that I'm going to trust I'll still get to live my dream with you some day?"
Lauren smiled, wiping away Bo's tears, "Just like that."
She pulled Bo into her embrace and allowed the brunette to cry. She cried with her... they cried together for what they'd found in each other, for what they'd been through, for what they'd lost and for fear of what they may never find again... still... there was a sort of peace in this moment... a bit of hope.
"Okay then, let's not spend our last days together before I leave crying on a beach." Lauren stood, offering her hand to a still teary-eyed Bo, "You've showed me your version of grocery shopping, now show me your Fiji."
Bo smiled and took the offered hand, standing up and following Lauren down the coastline.
"Well, this is Namotu Island, Tavarua, Fiji." Bo smiled, opening her eyes and spinning in a circle, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
Lauren smiled, "It is."
"Did you know it's shaped like a heart?"
Lauren shook her head, "I didn't. Is this the Bo Dennis fun facts tour of Fiji?"
"Well, I am just loaded with fun facts... I am quite the scholar."
"I am very impressed, Miss Dennis."
"Why thank you, Dr. Lewis."
Lauren smiled. It had been a very long time since she and Bo had been together with such an easy presence. It was... fun.
"So how many times have you been here?" Lauren asked.
"To Fiji? Once or twice a year since I was sixteen and surfed in my first qualifier to become a WSL Pro."
"And what kind of surfer was the great Ysabeau Dennis at age sixteen?" Lauren was curious about how early Bo started in the WSL. She'd thought she was in high school and then college. She didn't think her surfing career began until after her parents were gone.
"She was pretty reckless, according to her parents... and even more so after my Dad died. I got suspended just before college, so my Mom told me I couldn't go back until I got my emotions under control. She said a depressed surfer didn't care about themselves or others, so she wanted me to get my education out of the way first." Bo looked out to see, retying her pony tail before she added, "As it turned out, getting back into it after college became a necessity to survive and I was even more angry because by then, both of my parents were dead."
Lauren nodded in reply, "The waves here are really, really big... and powerful."
"Were you nervous?" Bo asked.
"Do you think the family of race car drivers, jockeys, motor cross riders and skydivers are nervous when they do their thing?"
Bo smiled, "Of course, but I think they just trust that they know what they're doing and that they'll be okay."
Lauren nodded, "Well, I'm sort of like those families... but with less experience at keeping the nervousness at bay. Actually, the more I watched, the more I realized that the first heat that I saw you in, probably surfed twenty waves and combined, you only fell twice."
"Yea, thanks for the reminder."
Lauren nodded, her eyes remaining straight ahead as they walked past the huge breakers of the location where she had seen Mark warming up when he got cut. She felt Bo grip her wrist, effectively bringing her to a hault,
"Hey... I wasn't in the washing machine. I was just..."
"I know... you were staying below the whitewater until it was safe for you to come up and not get flipped end over end by a wave." Lauren said matter-of-factly, silently recalling the panic she'd felt before Mark had explained why the brunette hadn't surfaced.
"You knew that?" Bo asked.
"I learned it from a surfer named Mark and his friend Sam."
"Twin sons of different mothers! You met them?"
"You know them?" Lauren asked in reply.
Bo laughed, "Did Mark show you my autograph?"
"He has your autograph? But he's a pro surfer!"
Bo nodded, "And we all collect each other's autographs. If we ever get into financial trouble, we can always sell them... it's our way of taking care of each other. We hold benefits for surfers that are critically injured and can't compete anymore, too."
"Sounds like a pretty tight-knit community."
"We are... well, you saw that in Rio with Manny and Miguel."
Lauren nodded, "Well, Mark didn't show me your autograph, why?"
Bo laughed, "I guess we were about twenty four or so when he asked me to sign his right ass cheek. I did and he then took his drunk self to a tattoo artist who permanently attached my initials to his hind quarter."
"No!" Lauren laughed.
"Yup. If you ever run into him again, you should tell him he needs a tetanus shot in his ass just so you can see it... right cheek."
The blonde smiled, "I'll do that."
"Oh, I hope he wasn't too... well, he can make some pretty crude comments about... well... my body. I hope he didn't upset you."
"He commented on your chest and wishing he was a lesbian so he could prove to you he was a better catch than your hot blonde volleyball player girlfriend, but I wasn't offended."
Lauren laughed as Bo's face twisted into a frown, "I'm sorry about that."
"it's okay, Bo. I'm used to crude comments from guys. It happens... I mean... I usually say something, because it's not okay but I deal with it in my own way like most women."
Bo shook her head, "No, I mean about the girlfriend comment. There's a lot of rumors about who I'm dating and... well... I guess some photos of us found their way to social media during the Olympics, so..."
"Bo, I'm not ashamed to be labeled as your girlfriend by others. Frankly, it's no one's business what the status of our relationship is. I just chose not to comment on his comments."
Bo followed Lauren as she continued to walk, "Wow... that's very... mature... of you."
"Well, it's not like I can run around telling every person who might know that I'm not your girlfriend. Don't worry about it, Bo. Really."
Lauren was going to add that soon enough she'd be gone from the island and the rumors would fade, but she decided not to go there. She didn't feel a need to repeat her intentions of leaving to Bo and she really didn't want to hurt her.
"Well, that's enough of that stuff. Let's go have some fun. Kenzi said you were renting a car... did that actually happen or did you arrive to no car?"
Lauren laughed, "You don't trust Kenzi with travel plans much, do you?"
"Experience IS the best teacher. Val and Vex usually handle the travel reservations. When Kenzi does it, something usually goes wrong."
All Lauren could think of was that she hoped nothing went wrong on their return flight. She had spoken to Pops about renting out the house once it was finished until she decided where she was going with her life. She'd spoken to Chief McCorrigan, apologizing profusely for resigning. He was so understanding and promised that if she ever decided to come back, a position would always be made available to her in any department she chose. Of course, that was after he informed her that when she had returned full time, he had planned to make her the Chief of Emergency Medicine... Evony's replacement. It was board approved and a done deal except for the salary discussion.
"Lauren?"
"Oh... I'm sorry, Bo. My mind just... drifted off."
"It's okay. I'm sure that Kenzi got your return travel plans right. You'll make your flight to Colorado."
"Bo, I..."
"Lauren, it's okay... really. Can I ask what's going to happen to your house?"
"I asked Pops to rent it out once it was built."
"You're not going to sell the property?" Bo asked.
"I don't know yet, to tell you the truth. If this job works out, I may want a warm place to dwell in the winters... I mean... I am moving to Colorado."
Bo smiled, "That is true. I guess while I'm riding waves in the sun, you'll be riding a snowboard in twenty feet of snow."
"Well, I don't know that I'm going to become an extreme snowboarder over night, but yes, I'll be giving it a try. Maverick won't have it any other way."
"I can have him come out to visit you, ya know."
Lauren felt her eyes tear up at the thought of not seeing Maverick whenever she wanted to... or whenever he needed her. She'd grown quite fond of the boy.
"That would be nice, Bo."
They were silent for a moment, before Bo asked, "Would... I mean... if it was okay with you... I would like to bring him out there... I can send him with Dyson if you'd rather. He and Ciara both love snow. Dyson is a snowboarder and Ciara loves to ski. Come to think of it, they might be more qualified. I've never been on snow in my life."
"Really?" Lauren asked.
Bo nodded, "I'm a beach bum through and through. It's not that the thought has never crossed my mind, but I was always too worried I'd miss a surfing event if I went snowboarding."
"I'm sure you could make sure Kenzi got the flights right."
"Oh, no... that's not it. I mean... you'll find this ironic, actually. I was always more worried about breaking a leg snowboarding than I was about drowning in big waves."
Lauren nodded, "That is ironic, indeed."
They walked for a little while. When they could see the parking lot, Lauren casually said, "I would like it if you would bring Maverick out. He could teach us both to snowboard."
Bo's heart swelled at the invitation. Maybe there was reason to hope after all.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They arrived at a dock with boats unlike anything Lauren had ever seen before. She followed Bo, as she waved to an older man tending to the vessels,
"Hey Sup! You taking care of my boy?"
The older man laughed, giving Bo a hug, "Both of your boys! You didn't tell me your Professor was nothing more than a gray-haired ten-year-old!"
"Well, I didn't know until I saw him and Maverick playing in the tide pools a last week. Where are they?"
"Sorry, Bo. You just missed them. Maverick told me to tell you he promised to keep his life jacket on and that it has a flashlight and whistle attached to it in case he gets in trouble."
"Okay. So, that doesn't answer my question."
"Oh. Sorry, I thought you knew. They went snorkeling... don't worry, they're not at Cloudbreak... and then they're going to the Skate ramp and then to Kiddie Land."
"Kiddie Land?" Lauren asked, whispering to Bo.
"Oh, that's a place where kids can learn to ride waves. I asked Sup to hook him up with the surf pros who work there... I thought he could use some male bonding time while hanging out with 'real surfers' as he calls them." Bo replied, before turning to the older man, "Sup, this is my... my friend... Lauren."
The brunette lowered her eyes as the blonde stepped forward and shook the man's hand,
"It's nice to meet you, Lauren. You all ready to go?"
Lauren looked at Bo, "I sort of planned some stuff when Kenzi told me you were coming."
The blonde smiled, "Thank you, Bo. It was nice of you to do that, but you really didn't have to."
Bo shook her head, "If you have other plans or want to be on your own, that's fine, Lauren. I won't be offended. Sup can take you out alone to... if you'd rather I stay behind so you can explore on your own."
"Bo..."
"No, Lauren. Really... I don't want you to feel obligated to spend time with me. I know you only came her for Maverick. It's okay. If you want to go and catch up with him you can. I just... I want you to do what you want to do... you know... for yourself."
Lauren nodded, "Well, if it's okay with you, I'd like to spend some more time with you today. The reality is, we may not see each other for quite some time, Bo... so let's just enjoy what you have planned for now."
"And you'll let me know if you want to take off on your own at any time?" Bo wanted to be sure that Lauren was spending time with her because she wanted to... not because she felt obligated out of some sense of guilt for leaving.
"I promise, I will."
"Okay, well we're going to put that to the test right now because Sup is going to take us kiteboarding."
Lauren's eyes went wide, "No! Absolutely not! You mean that thing where you tow me with a rope and I fly up in the air, then crash to the earth and die! I knew you were upset with me, but I didn't think you'd actually try to kill me, Bo!"
Bo shook her head. There is was... that famous Lauren Lewis panic... the fear was there and it was Bo's intention to take it away. She did not want Lauren to carry that fear with her to Colorado. If she did, the blonde would do nothing but remain in the safe confines of a lab and her athletes. She didn't want Lauren to move away to find a new life and not actually find a new way of living.
"Lauren... will you please hear me out?" Bo asked.
"I am not going up there, Bo."
Sup excused himself to get the boat ready to launch while Bo turned back to Lauren, "I know you're afraid, but Lauren... your fear began the first time your step father hit you... and yes... I know... word travels fast even when I'm away. Don't be mad at Kenzi. She's just worried about you... everyone is, Lauren... because we care about you... we love you and want you to be happy no matter what."
Lauren stood perfectly still, her arms folded across her chest. Bo had to laugh inside as she thought of how much she looked like a certain little boy when he first arrived,
"You know, the way you're standing right now... the stubborn look on your face... you look like Maverick when he first arrived, challenging me to make his life any better. Look, I'm no psychiatrist, but it makes sense to me that if you learned to fear when you were that young and then learned to fear more when kids started riding you because of your big brain, it probably provided the perfect opportunity for Nadia to permanently plant fear in your heart as well... permanently."
"Bo... I'm not..."
"I hear you, Lauren, but I'm not buying it. If you continue to live in fear of trying new things, staying stuck in nothing but your research and your athletes, how will you ever truly know who you are and what you love in life? How will you ever find your passions, hobbies or your one true love? How will Colorado be any different than California or Hawaii? If you keep sticking to what you know out of fear, taking a new job becomes more about geography than personal growth... I mean... like I said... I'm not the doctor here, but you are and... I don't know... does anything I'm saying ring true with you?"
Lauren stood still, her eyes glancing at the back of the boat. Her eyes were brimming with tears as her gaze slowly moved up to meet Bo's,
"I'm just... I'm so scared, Bo."
The brunette's heart broke at the fear covering the blonde's face, "I know you are, but just like the first time you climbed onto my long board in the ocean, I'll be with you every step of the way. I've never asked anything of you, Lauren... never... even though I think you believe I have. What I've been trying to tell you... trying to ask of you... is that you get strong for you. I love you and want you to be the best you that you can be because I know that you will never be happy if you are anything less than all you can be. So please, Lauren... do this for me?"
Lauren slowly nodded, taking the hand that Bo extended to her, "I promise that if you relax and trust in me and Sup, you will be safe... and you will be amazed at the view. Free yourself, Lauren... free your soul and allow yourself to embrace all the wonders of this world... keep reminding yourself... free yourself... free your spirit."
Bo could feel Lauren's hand trembling in her own as they approached the boat, but still, the blonde followed her until she was safely seated under cover in the center of the boat house. Bo cast off the dock ropes and hopped on as the small group headed out towards their first adventure.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
As Sup drove the flat-bottom boat onto the beach, Bo jumped out and pulled it in, tying the boat fast to the large stakes that Sup had placed on the beach years ago.
She turned to where her friend was handing things to Lauren and motioning to take them to shore. Finally, he watched as he handed her the bag Bo had packed for the blonde.
The pair walked to Bo who had stripped off her sweatshirt and shorts, leaving her in only her bathing suit bottoms, rash guard and life vest. She could see the hesitation on Lauren's face as she listened intently to Sup explaining why they were on this particular island. There were no power lines, houses, rocks or trees anywhere near their take off and landing area.
Bo moved closer to the pair and listened as Sup explained that they needed a sandy beach with a sandy bottom and the safety reasons behind those points. He then pulled out the kite. As he set it up, he began reviewing the various parts before explaining the required wind speeds and how wind can increase or decrease. He then instructed her in the wind window, before placing the grip bar in her hand and stepping behind her. Once the kite was all laid out, Sup began,
"We're going to fly the practice kite now. We're going to imagine the window I explained and move it to the clock positions. Here we go, now hold on tight even though I'm with you. We're going to back up and keep our arms straight and the kite will lift up. It will give you a good pull. You ready?"
Lauren just nodded her head nervously, causing Sup to look over his shoulder at Bo. The brunette smiled and nodded with a chuckle. Sometimes Lauren's fears made her adorable.
Bo watched as Sup called out the time and allowed Lauren to get a feel for the motion of steering the kite, having her hold it steady for five seconds in each position,
"Okay, now imagine that big clock in the wind window, right?"
"Right. You're holding on, right?"
"I'm here, Lauren. Now, let's get the flight to fly steady for five seconds at twelve o'clock. Good... now one o'clock... good... now two... good, now back to twelve..."
Bo watched as Sup expertly handled both Lauren and the practice kite from ten to two several times on the clock he'd described. Bo smiled, remembering how the kind old man had first taught her the same basics. It had taken her several days, but she finally caught on and once she did, Bo was hooked. She just knew that Lauren would love it if she could just relax and let go. She sighed, hoping the blonde would give it a real chance.
Bo finally pulled her kite and board out of the bag and set up to take Lauren out. She and Sup had agreed that since Lauren had very little surfing experience, the only way up for her was in a tandem vest with Bo. By the time she was set up and clipped into her harness, Sup was approaching the brunette with his student.
"Wait... what if I get you killed?" Lauren asked.
"Lauren Lewis, sometimes you are adorable. Do you really think I would let you get me killed? I've got to much to live for darlin', so we won't be leaving this plane of existence today."
Lauren sighed, "Bo, I don't want you to risk your..."
"Okay... here's the deal, Lauren. I'm going up whether you join me or not. The wind in my hair, surfing and flying at the same time... it's a freeing experience that I happen to love and thought you would want to share. Now... it's put up or shut up time. Now, can you summon the ability to say 'fuck it all' for just fifteen minutes and fly with me? You know exactly what the chances are of you and I ever getting the opportunity to do this together ever again. I'm going... with or without you. Grab your phone and take pictures from the shore or step up on this board in front of me, let me clip you in to my vest, grab the bar and hang on... trusting me to take care of you."
Bo lifted the bag with the gear she'd brought and tossed it at Lauren's feet, "You'll need to put that on. Use the boat if you're shy. I'm taking off in three minutes. Clock it, Sup."
"You've got it Bo." Sup replied with a wink, setting his watch for three minutes.
Bo watched as Lauren stared at the bag for the first thirty seconds. The brunette then began to tighten her harness and run through the check of the kite ropes, making sure that everything was connected and not twisted.
She looked up to see that Lauren was still standing in the same spot staring at the bag.
"Two minutes to lift off, Bo."
Lauren groaned and picked up the bag, running to the boat. The alarm sounded on Sup's phone just as she stepped onto the dock. Bo stood staring at the blonde who froze just as she stepped onto the sand.
"Three minutes is up, Lauren. Staying or going?"
Still, the blonde stood, wringing her hands as her eyes ran back and forth over the kite and board. Bo was surprised to see Sup walk towards Lauren. He leaned in and whispered in her ear for quite some time before stepping away and sharing a long look with the blonde. He extended his hand, which Lauren took and walked her towards Bo.
She stepped up to Bo, "Uh... do I have to stand right in front of you?"
Bo nodded, "We're going to be touching... if that's the problem here, I can step off and Sup can take you up. Like I said, if you can't do this, you can't do it, Lauren. I'm asking, I'm not demanding or making you do anything. I think it would be good for you... fun, even... but you have to be willing to let go and trust me... if you can't trust me... you shouldn't fly with me."
This was the moment and Lauren knew it. Bo was asking not for her trust in kite surfing, but her trust in life, no matter what happened between them. She was well aware that Bo knew she had trust issues. Lauren thought for a moment about all the brunette had said to her about how her past had impacted the woman she was today. The brunette was right... she couldn't trust because no one had ever come through for her... even Bo had let her down recently, but in truth, she had let Bo down first... and in many ways.
"Okay." Lauren replied, stepping forward and slipping her feet into the appropriate spots on the board. Bo clipped them in before reaching around Lauren to grip the handlebar the Sup handed her.
"Grip the bar, Lauren... hold on tight. Do you remember how you steered... what it felt like?"
Lauren nodded, "Bo, I'm really scared... I really don't want to do this... but I don't want to let you down."
Bo pulled the bar from Lauren's hand and dropped it to the ground. Sup immediately stepped on it, turning his back to the pair to give them some privacy. The brunette spoke from behind the blonde,
"You won't let me down if you don't do this, Lauren. Frankly, it doesn't matter what I think of you. You don't owe me anything and I don't expect anything of you. Move past it, Lauren. What's really stopping you?"
"I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
Lauren stood, silent and shaking... it broke Bo's heart, but she still held out for a breakthrough,
"I'm afraid of everything... of life... of failing... of not knowing."
"Of not knowing what?"
"Everything! What will happen when we do this? Will we live? What will happen if I go to Colorado? What happens if I get there and I can't do it? What if... what if I miss... everyone... what if I'm making a huge mistake? What if I lose you? What happens if I don't? I don't want to die, but you're right... I'm afraid to live."
"Suppose we don't do this Lauren. Suppose we get back on that boat, go back to the island, get into your rental car and are killed at a traffic intersection. What if we die without having done this today? How would you describe your life then?"
Lauren was quiet for a long moment before she finally said, "I would have achieved my goal of being a doctor and a gold medalist. I will have had two good friends. I will have shared time with a woman I loved truly and deeply."
"Is that enough for you?" Bo asked.
Lauren was silent for a moment... a long moment... a moment long enough for Bo to say,
"Okay, Sup. Let's pack it up. Maybe tomorrow."
"No." Lauren said, picking up the bar, "We do this now or never."
Bo smiled at Sup who gave her a thumbs-up. Extending their arms together, the pair watched as the kite lifted up. Bo whispered,
"Remember all of your surf lessons. Bend your knees, okay?"
Lauren nodded, unable to speak as they began to lift up off the ground. Bo watched as the blonde suddenly released one hand from the bar, gripping her forearm with the other,
"Uh... Lauren, I need my arms to steer!"
The blonde immediately gripped the bar again, looking down as they rose higher in the air,
"Okay, here we go!"
Bo listened for any sign that Lauren was still conscious, but the only indicator she had was that the blonde's hands and arms were rigid enough that it was difficult to steer and her knees were bent so deeply that she was pulling Bo forward in the harness. Bo knew from experience there was one sure way to get Lauren to relax... or get herself slapped when they got back on the beach. She leaned forward and whispered in the blonde's ear,
"Relax, Lauren. Please, baby... trust me... relax so I can give you something that feels almost as good as it felt when we would lay naked together in bed."
The blonde's head fell back onto Bo's chest as a surge of heat shot straight to her core. Bo continued,
"Feel my body against yours... move with me, Lauren... help me steer us down. We're going to touch down on the top of the next set of waves and then launch back up. Relax your hands on the bar and just feel the way I steer us. Keep your butt against my legs so you can feel how I move my legs and hips on the board when we land and ride."
Lauren swallowed hard, her body feeling so many things while her mind went crazy with fear as they plummeted towards the water. When they touched down, she leaned back with Bo, feeling the board riding the wave beneath their feet as they picked up speed. The only sound she could hear was the wind rushing past her ears. She felt Bo pull back, pumping the kite so they would gain altitude again,
"How does that feel, baby?" Bo asked, her lips just grazing the blonde's ear.
They touched down again, this time Bo could feel the blonde relax a little more,
"That's it... I can feel you relaxing now... just lean back against me and enjoy the ride, Lauren. Let go... free yourself... just feel... feel everything, Lauren. This is real life... this is the thrill of real life."
Bo pushed the kite a little harder now, gaining more speed and altitude, aiming for the face of bigger waves. Lauren tensed, then relaxed until she began to get into the rhythm and feel of Bo behind her.
By the time Bo's arms were burning, she had Lauren screaming out across the ocean, a brilliant smile on Bo's face matched the enthusiasm of the blonde. The brunette really didn't want this to end. She knew this would likely be the one and only time they would get to do this... possibly the last day they would spend together for a very long time... but the bottom line was, if she stayed up much longer, she would put them both in danger. Sadly, she told Lauren the news,
"Okay, baby. I'm going to have to put us down now."
"No! Stay! This is... please, Bo! Just a little longer!"
"Lauren, I promised you we weren't dying today. My arms are on fire, honey. I have to land us or we really may get hurt."
"Okay. I understand." Lauren replied, "But Bo?"
"What, Sweetie?"
"I've never had a better time in my entire life. Thank you so much for being patient with me."
"Always, love."
"Bo?"
"Mmm?"
"I'm sorry I'm leaving you... but I need you to know that I really do love you."
Bo nodded as tears began to blur her vision, "I love you too, Lauren... and as much as my heart is breaking at the thought of losing you, I know you have to go."
The pair landed softly on the beach, Bo lowering their arms to Lauren's hips. Sup ran to the pair, unhooking the harness so Lauren could step out. The blonde turned around and watched as the brunette bent down, wiping tears from her face before stepping out of the board. She stood and quickly turned around, not allowing Lauren to see her face. She exchanged some words with Sup who walked to Lauren,
"Okay, now you learn how to pack the equipment back up. It's wet, so we'll put it away temporarily, then lay it out when we get back home."
"Bo?" Lauren called to the brunette, trying to step around her tutor.
He stepped in front of the blonde, "Lauren... please... give her a moment. You've made your choice and forced her into a situation where she has to adapt and deal with that decision. She's trying... she's trying very hard, but her love for you runs very, very deep. I've known Bo since she was sixteen. She was reckless, rude and arrogant. While she has matured over the years, the impact you have had on her is not something I can explain to someone who didn't know her when she was young."
He took a step back and leaned down, handing Lauren the life jacket Bo had stripped off,
"Just know that while she's been focused on helping you deal with your demons, she has been dealing with them too... while dealing with her own as well. Just give her a few minutes. She'll bounce back and give you a day you will treasure forever. As much as you sometimes need things for yourself, know that she sometimes has her own needs as well. Now... help me do this. She'll be right back. She's just gone to grab her gear and change... maybe take a short walk."
"I want to help her, Sup. Where did she go?"
"Lauren, you can't leave her and help her at the same time. Just like you are about to take a journey on your own, you must let Bo begin a journey as well. Just remember... you knew for days you were going to do this... she has known for less than twenty four hours Fiji time. Please... just give her some time alone."
Lauren frowned, torn as to what she should be doing. Should she not go to Colorado? Should she go? Being up there with Bo was... exhilarating. She'd forgotten what it felt like to have the brunette's attention... to be with her... to laugh with her... to just have fun. What exactly was she giving up?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
After about thirty minutes, Bo returned with a bag in hand. She walked down to the dock, releasing the ropes and shoving the boat off as Sup steered them back towards the island. She moved to the rear of the boat where Lauren sat wearing Bo's Kenbo jacket,
"Do you like the design?"
Lauren nodded, "It's really comfortable... and soft. Do you need it? I can just put a towel over my shoulders."
"Everything in that bag was for you. I mean, you may not have use for the rash guard and bikini in Colorado, but maybe some time you'll miss Hawaii and come for a visit if you get some time off."
Bo sat down on the bench next to her, placing the bag on the seat between them.
"What's in the bag?" Lauren asked.
"I felt like a walk... actually, I felt like fresh peaches and there's a woman who lives about a half a mile from here who grows the best peaches... well... anywhere, I think."
Bo unwrapped the bag, giving a loud whistle. Pulling out a peach, she tossed it towards the wheelhouse at the center of the boat where Sup opened the window and caught the peach. He winked at her before closing the window again and turning back to steer the boat.
"It's like you two read each other's minds. You're so in sync."
"Yea. I don't know what it is, but... well, he's a great guy. When I first came here as a kid, he noticed me... well... he noticed Kenzi who was stole from his crab traps and then yelled at me because of it. I wasn't much for rules back then, so I yelled back telling him she's a poor kid and hadn't eaten for almost a full day."
"Really?" Lauren asked.
Bo nodded, "Yup. It wasn't true. I mean, my Mom was still alive and we were fine financially. We were just two angry kids who had lost their dad. I think every time I went out on the water, I just lashed out at Poseidon for his death. Anyway, Sup saw me surf and told me that I needed to release my burden."
"He's the one that taught you that?"
Bo nodded, "My parents had too, but I didn't really get it until he explained it. He took me out paddle boarding. SUP is the acronym for stand up paddling. He's the best there is and he's also the instructor that everyone who's anyone in the paddle boarding world has learned from."
"So you call him by the acronym?"
"Well, I didn't give him the name... the Chief did. He says it's an honor to get a nickname among his people – especially won that places him as a teacher of a skill."
"I didn't know that."
Bo nodded, "Neither did I at the time. Anyway, he took me out paddling and... well, I failed miserably. I had no balance for slow or stationary riding." Bo laughed, "By the end of the day, my core was so sore from falling and standing back up again. He finally told me that I was allowed to kneel."
"He didn't tell you that?"
"Nah. He said that since I wasn't very good at listening, he didn't bother offering much instruction because I either wouldn't have listened or insisted that I knew what I was doing."
Lauren laughed as Bo continued, "By the end of the week, he'd had me parasailing, boogie boarding, wind surfing and kite surfing. I remember when he told me...
'Rookie, if you want to be a real surfer, you have to know how the ocean behaves so you know how to behave. You don't respect the ocean and one of these days, the ocean is going to show its disrespect for you.'
... but naturally, I didn't listen. That big scar I have on my rib cage on the left... that was the ocean showing it's disrespect for me... big time. Cocky little Bo Dennis went out in the big surf at Cloudbreak when not one native surfer of Fiji was out there. It was rough and I told them I could surf everything. That was the first time I almost drowned."
"You mean it's happened more than once?"
"Not like what happened that day with you. Some scary moments, like a race car driver who spins out or a gymnast who has that really bad fall on vault... that kind of stuff."
"Well, you'll pardon me if I don't understand. Volleyball always gave me the luxury of not putting my life at risk... although I did get a Spalding tattoo on my forehead when we played Brazil in the World Championship the first year Tamsin and I partnered together."
"Geez, Lauren... you could have been killed!"
"Ha, ha. I did get a nasty concussion though."
"Wow... you must have failed at least one test that week."
"Again... you are so funny, Dennis."
The pair laughed for a while before Bo reached into the bag and pulled out two peaches,
"Are you ready to taste one of the greatest things to ever hit your taste buds in this lifetime?"
Lauren looked at the peach, "You're referring to the peach, I take it?"
Bo smiled, "Yes... the peach, Lauren."
"You know... you got a little flirty when we were up there."
"Well, I figured if I did, one of two things would happen. One, you would relax and focus on me instead of your perceived impending doom thereby allowing me to actually have control over our kiteboard."
"And two?"
"Well, the undesirable number two is that you would slap me as soon as we hit the ground."
Lauren smiled, "The thought had crossed my mind, but... well... you were upset so I restrained myself."
"Yea, sorry about that."
"Are you okay?" Lauren asked.
"I don't know... I mean... it felt so natural to talk to you when we were up there and then when we hit the ground, it was like reality came crashing down around me. I guess I've been in a bit of denial these last hours and... well... now it's real. In a few days... that's it... I may never see you again."
Lauren shook her head, "You'll see me, Bo. I have a house here... I have a Maverick here... I love that little boy and have every intention of seeing him again one way or another. Plus, Tamsin is my best friend and her parents are essentially my parents. Besides, if Kenzi makes Team USA Surfing, I'll be seeing her which I hope would mean you would come to see her once in a while."
"If Kenzi makes Team USA Surfing, I won't get much time away from the school. Half the team will be gone."
"Oh, well I have a feeling that by then, the Professor, Dr. Mansfield, and the rest of the school staff will be able to run that school just as good as you do. Maybe while I'm working on getting rid of my fear, you'll work on getting rid of your need to control everything?"
Bo smiled, "I guess that is something I could work on."
"Bo, I really need to know... are you going to be okay?" Lauren asked.
Bo shrugged, swallowing back the tightness in her throat as tears threatened to fall once again,
"I don't know, Lauren. Ask me in a year."
"Fair enough." Lauren replied.
Bo asked, "Are you sure about this?"
"I am, Bo. We love each other, but as the saying goes, some times it's not enough. It's killing me... leaving you like this... but I know that if we're going to ever have a chance together, we need to be apart right now... and I think you know that too."
Bo nodded, "I haven't been myself. I'm acting like my crazy, hormonal neighbor when she was going through menopause. One minute she was laughing hysterically and the next she was bawling like a spoiled child. I know that one minute I'm calm and supportive of all you're going through and the next it's just one cut too many."
Lauren nodded, "Death by a thousand cuts... I get it, Bo. When we first started out, I led you to believe you were getting involved with a woman who was unattached, which was not true despite how much I desparately wanted to pretend it was. You thought I was a strong professional woman who could match your intellect and level of independence... but nothing could be farther from the truth. I was a professional woman who was bowing to the threats of her psychotic boss and was no where near independent."
Lauren laughed before she continued,
"I didn't even have control over my own grocery list. It's really quite comical now that I think about it."
"Please don't joke about that. I'm sorry, but... what she did to you... it's just not funny."
Lauren smiled, "Bo, if I don't laugh about it, I'll cry about it and frankly, I'm tired of crying. We were so good together and... well, at the Olympics when she showed up, I turned into a lunatic. Despite my behavior, you were there... always a steadfast supporter. My irrational fear was another wedge between us..."
"Well, you took a big step in that area today."
Lauren nodded, a big smile stretching across her face, "Bo, no couple should have to deal with what we're dealing with. We need too much help and support to deal with our issues about trust, fear, control, loss... not to mention our professional life, Evony's trial and getting through the last of the issues with Nadia and the footage. I just think that a break will do us good."
Bo nodded, "I know you're right... in my mind... but my heart is angry with my head right now."
Lauren smiled, "Yea... I have that problem too."
"I need to know... are you going to see other people? I mean... is this a clean break... as if I don't exist?"
"Oh, Bo... you will always exist to me... in my heart and my mind. Will I date? If the opportunity arises and I'm interested in a date... yes, I will, Bo. I'm sorry if that hurts you to hear, but I've got to learn about how normal couples... dating couples... are supposed to work. I've never done it before... well... not until you, but... well, we didn't meet under normal circumstances and our life together wasn't normal."
Bo nodded, "So dating is okay and... am I one of the people you would consider dating if I came to visit or you came here?"
Lauren nodded, "I'd like that."
"Did you have fun on our date today?"
"You mean it's over already?"
Bo smiled, "Not by a long shot, Doctor. Not by a long shot."
Dating... Lauren thought... she had never been on a date with anyone but Bo... if this was what real dating was about... she decided she liked dating. The only question was... should a girl kiss on the first date?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"BO! WHAT DO I DO NOW?"
Lauren was staring down at a flopping fish on the deck of the boat, her rod tip still hanging over the boat while she kept her feet moving to avoid stepping on the first fish she'd ever caught in her life.
"Relax, Lauren... I'm coming."
Sup gave Bo a stern look, reminding her that Lauren needed to do this on her own... it was his way.
"TAKE IT! TAKE IT!"
Bo shook her head, "Sup's boat, Sup's rules, Lauren. He already told you that if you bring it into his boat, you have to handle what you catch."
"THROW IT BACK! THROW IT BACK!"
Bo laughed, looking over his head at Sup who had his hat off, scratching and shaking his head as he worked to keep Bo's line from ending up under the boat.
"Lauren, I am not throwing our dinner back into the sea."
"DINNER? WE'RE GOING TO EAT THAT?"
Bo laughed again, "Sweetie, we've eaten fish together at least thirty times since we've met. I hardly think this is the time for you to suddenly become a vegan."
"Well, I'm definitely considering it right now!"
"You like meat too much... especially now that you can actually buy any food you want."
"The key word there was BUY it, Bo... not catch it myself!"
Bo stepped behind Lauren and pressed down on her arms, bringing the rod back into both of her hands while she held the line taught,
"Reel, Lauren. Take up the slack like we showed you."
The blonde took a breath and did as she was told. Bo smiled, "Good. Now, you're going to have to take the hook out of its mouth."
"WHAT? NO!"
"Lauren, you do realize that the fish they sell in stores is caught mostly in huge nets. We're killing of entire species that way. You're doing the earth a favor, Lauren and I know the environment is important to you."
"Not today! Today, the world can eat all the fish it wants."
Bo laughed, "Lauren Lewis, you are behaving like a stubborn three-year-old. Now you said you wanted to have this adventure, so you're going all in."
She handed Lauren a towel, "Here, wrap this towel around the fish's body so you can hold him."
"Please do it for me, Bo. I really don't want to..."
"No, love. You have to do this one yourself." Put the rod back in the... what did you call it... rod sleeve?"
Lauren nodded, her tongue hanging out of the corner of her mouth as she maneuvered the rod into the holder while avoiding the fish.
"Now, come on... get a good grip on it."
The blonde grimised as she gripped the fish.
"Now, take these."
Bo handed Lauren a pair of fishing pliers, figuring it would be much easier for her to remove the hook with the tool than her bare hands.
"What do I do with these?"
"Reach into his mouth and grab the hook at the bottom, then work it out quickly and carefully. You hooked him perfectly, so it should come out easily... especially since you're a skilled surgeon."
Lauren looked into the fish's mouth and inserted the pliers before skillfully removing the hook.
Bo's eyes went wide as she saw the ease with which the blonde removed the hook and had to ask, "You've done this before?"
Lauren smiled, "An old man took his grandson out fishing for the first time and instead of hooking a fish, he hooked his grandfather's eyebrow. Apparently he had hooked the gentleman's lucky fishing hat three times before hooking catching skin."
Bo nodded, "Doesn't sound like the fishing hat was very lucky."
"Mmmm. Do you have a needle and thread?"
"For what?" Bo asked.
"I tore some of the skin with the spine of the hook. I'd like to stitch him up so he doesn't lose any more blood."
Bo laughed, "Lauren, we're going to put him in the tank... to be cooked... for dinner?"
"So! It doesn't mean he can't be treated with some degree of humanity until then!"
Sup called out to Bo, "Fish on!"
The brunette turned and hurried to her rod, setting the hook and beginning the process of working her catch towards the boat. Sup looked up to see Lauren going through the tackle box,
"What are you looking for, Lauren?"
"A needle and thread."
"Lauren, put the fish in the tank."
"But I need to..."
"Lauren! Put. The. Fish. In. The. Tank."
Lauren sighed, "If he's in pain, it's on you."
The blonde grudgingly walked over to the tank and shook the fish from the towel, dropping him unceremoniously into the tank before tossing a fake smile to Sup and slamming the lid shut.
"I'd be more worried about his brain if you're going to slam the lid like that."
Lauren pivoted on her feet and walked back to her fishing rod until she heard Bo call out to her,
"Net! Lauren, get the net!"
She grabbed the long pole and ran to Bo's side, the brunette providing instructions, "It's big and it's heavy, so be sure you get under the tail and hold on to the pole with both hands, okay?"
Lauren nodded, "It's... it's huge!"
As Bo pulled up on the rod, Lauren carefully lifted the fish in the net in unison with the brunette's actions. After a long, tense moment, the fish was in the boat, Bo reaching into the net to lift the fish out by his lower jaw, her other hand lifting the large body.
"Ew! You're sticking your finger in its mouth!"
Bo laughed, "That's how you hold it, Lauren. We don't usually just yank them into the boat and let them flop around on the deck."
"Hey! It was my first time!"
"Yea and you gave your little guy a concussion."
Lauren frowned before turning back to Bo's fish, "So, what is it... I mean... other than huge... or dinner."
Bo smiled, "This, my dear, is a Yellow Fin Tuna!"
Sup moved over the pair, "A little one for these waters, but still a good 15 kg catch."
"Sup..."
"Sorry, Bo... a little over 30 of your Yankee pounds. You guys really do need to go metric."
"Not happening." Bo replied, "Okay, so we've got dinner!"
"Yes, we do. I told my grandsons they had kitchen duty tonight." Sup said, as he headed back to the wheel house."
"So, we're heading back to the island for more fun!"
Lauren sighed, "More?"
Bo walked past Lauren to grab the blonde's rod, elbowing her as she went, "Well, if other women are going to be vying for the attention of the woman I've got my eye on, I want to make sure I give Doctor Lauren Lewis a full day of laughter, smiles and pleasure she won't soon forget."
Lauren frowned, her hands on her hips as she watched the brunette wipe down the equipment, then move to the bench at the side of the boat to organize Sup's tackle box and stow it in the storage boxes built into the side of the bench.
"Bo?"
The brunette responded, her eyes never leaving the task, "What's up?"
Lauren's shoulders sank, her hands falling to her side as she walked to the bench and sat beside the brunette.
"Will you look at me, please?"
Bo shook her head, "In a minute, Doctor Lewis. I don't want to stick a hook in my finger."
The brunette's smile told Lauren that she was keeping it light.
"I'm not going to forget you."
Bo gave the doctor a quick glance before looking back at the box, locking it tightly, then standing up to click open the storage bin's front hatch. Sliding the tackle box, nets and rods into the compartment, she spoke,
"Lauren, we both know how this will work. For the first few days, you'll wonder if you've made the biggest mistake of your life, but you're a professional who has signed a contract, so you will stick it out. Two weeks in, you'll get homesick and call Tamsin, telling her how much you miss your life in Hawaii. You will awkwardly find a way to ask her how I am and she will tell you I'm fine."
Bo closed the bin and moved to the table, grabbing the towel to wipe the fish guts from the surface. She leaned over the lowest side of the boat to wet the rag, causing Lauren's eyes to travel to her firm behind and long muscular legs before Bo stood back up. The brunette walked back to the table and squeezed the seawater onto the board, giving it a final wipe before draping the towel over the handle on the side.
She went to her bag and pulled a bottle of fresh water out, pouring it onto her hands as she continued,
"Eventually, the conversation will end and you'll settle down with a cup of tea and finally drift off to sleep. In the morning, you'll get up and resign yourself to the fact that you've got a job to do."
She drank down the remainder of the bottle before reaching into her bag and pulling out another, tossing it to Lauren,
"Drink. We've been out here a long time. I don't want you to get dehydrated."
She pulled another bottle out and opened it for herself. Leaning against the side of the boat, she looked in the direction of the wind, the hair blowing back off of her face. She pulled her sunglasses off of the top of her head and sighed before she spoke,
"After that, you'll start to talk to the people you work with... meet the athletes... fully emerse yourself in your research and lose yourself in your work until one day, a nice girl will invite you out for a drink. You'll accept because you're sick of doing nothing but work. You'll rationalize that you shouldn't feel bad about doing it because you told me that we would see other people... and by that time, I still won't have come to see you because I promise you, Lauren... I will not show up uninvited. This is your choice as is the decision to see me or not..."
Bo sighed, knowing that her words came out stronger than she'd wanted, but she needed Lauren to know that if she was going to make this choice for herself, then the ball for their relationship was completely in her court.
"...Anyway, one thing will lead to another and eventually, you'll kiss... or maybe you won't feel anything, so you won't on that first time. Of course, I know better... I was once that girl you ran into and we ended up in bed together. Maybe that's how that night will go."
Bo frowned at the thought, but quickly smiled and recovered, "Either way, you're going to date other people and... like you did before you ever met me... you will get lonely and you will likely want someone to make you feel wanted, attractive and desirable... so... I understand you will sleep with someone... maybe several someones before we talk."
"Bo..."
"Lauren, it's okay. The longer we're apart... the longer we don't talk... the more awkward it will feel for you to pick up the phone and actually try to talk to me again. If and when you ever do, we'll see how you feel about it when you hear my voice and we'll see how I feel about it when I hear your voice. You may call me to tell me that one of those trysts of yours turned into something with the potential to be something more and you want to pursue it."
Lauren stood, "Bo, you don't know that any of that will happen."
The brunette nodded, "Well, I certainly hope it does, otherwise I won't have a clue as to why you're walking away from us now. You want to find yourself and you want to have the experiences you should have had when you were a teenager. Go... have them... don't look back. But please... don't you dare come back to me and put me through this again. You go to Colorado and leave no stone unturned, Lauren Lewis. Because if you do ever come back to me, I want to know it's because you looked high and low and there was nothing that could enrich your life more than what you had with me."
Lauren went to hug her, but Bo stepped aside, "I want to give this bottle of water to Sup." She smiled, her eyes meeting Lauren's for only a split second, "It wouldn't do for us to miss our next adventure because we let our boat captain and guide pass out from dehydration."
Lauren folded her arms across her chest as she watched Bo walk away. She felt more conflicted than ever about going to Colorado.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Bo... I'm scared..." Lauren said as she watched the brunette give a wave to Sup to move the boat forward.
Once they had dropped off the fish, the blonde had watched as her two companions for the day loaded a cooler, five large black bags and what Lauren saw as a mishmash of rope, clips and harnesses. Her questions were met with silence or avoidance, awakening that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Now, the blonde found herself sitting in a harness next to Bo with what she saw as a giant parachute attached to the back of the boat above them while Sup's first mate attached their harnesses to the bar above them.
"Lauren, I'm right here beside you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. The equipment is certified and I double-checked everything myself as we packed it. I'm promise you... just like with the kite boarding... you're going to have a blast. Just think of it as having a chance to get an aerial view of this amazing coastline."
"I don't think I want to do this..." Lauren said as her feet left the deck of the boat and her hands gripped the harness above her shoulders tightly.
"It's a little late to tell me that now, sweetie." Bo said, moving her hand from her harness to wrap over Lauren's, "Look at me... keep your eyes on mine... you know I love you... do you really think I would risk your life? When you look down, you're going to see the most beautiful sight you have ever seen in your life. Until then, just keep looking at me... trust me once more today, Lauren... please... I only want the best for you in this life and will do whatever it takes to make sure you have it. I would never do anything to hurt you... you're safe with me – even in this crazy contraption."
Lauren kept her eyes on Bo's, seeing nothing but love there. She knew that the brunette wanted her to love this... knew that she wanted her to have fun... she just needed to move past her fears like she had earlier today when they'd kite boarded, wind surfed, bungee jumped and zip lined across Fiji. It had been an amazing day and now, just before sunset, Bo had thrown one more challenge at her fears.
"Okay, Lauren... look down... look down and see the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life!" She yelled above the rush of the wind against their ears, "Tell me what you see!"
Lauren pulled her eyes from Bo's and looked down,
"Oh God..." She rolled her fingers over Bo's and squeezed at the sight of the distance they had climbed from the ocean surface, "We're so high... Bo..."
But Bo didn't hear her as she whispered her concerns. Instead, she was screaming into the wind at the top of her lungs,
"WAAAAAHOOOOOOOOO!"
Lauren looked at Bo's face... at the pure exhilaration... the ear-to-ear grin... the wide eyes... she wished that she could capture the moment and put it in a bottle to keep in her pocket as she traveled to Colorado. It was only in this precise moment that she finally admitted to herself... only really remembered the true feelings that had grown inside of her this past year... Bo was special... and her love for her ran deeper than she'd ever cared to admit.
She swallowed hard pushing back tears as she was overcome by the sensation of missing the brunette before she'd even left. She took a deep breath and decided that here is where she needed to be. For right now, she would stay in this moment with Bo and do all that she asked. She would experience ever sensation, every sight, ever sound the woman presented her and carry it with her on her travels. She had no idea what the future held for them, but she did know that missing Bo was something that was going to be harder than even Bo could imagine.
How did everything go so wrong? How is it that she was dreaming of a life with this woman and all that it took was Nadia showing up to tear her world apart again?
"LAUREN! LOOK!" Bo's voice redirected her attention to where she was pointing down below.
Adhering to her promise, Lauren looked down, ignoring the nagging in her gut about the danger. She saw so many shades of the ocean, the clean coastline, lush forests and deep blue skies. Bo was right. It was truly beautiful. She looked up at Bo, thinking to herself,
'She was wrong about one thing... this is not the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. No... the most beautiful was the brunette now seated next to her hanging in mid air.'
"ARE YOU OKAY?" Bo asked.
Lauren grinned ear to ear, looking directly at Bo as she replied, "NEVER BETTER! YOU'RE RIGHT! I'M LOOKING AT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"
Bo smiled at Lauren, moving her hand to interlock their fingers around Lauren's harness as they shared a smile.
"LOOK DOWN! WE WON'T BE UP HERE FOREVER! YOU WANT TO SEE IT WHILE YOU CAN! YOU WON'T GET BACK TO FIJI FOR A LONG TIME!"
Lauren did as Bo asked and looked down, her eyes focusing on the beauty of the Fiji coast... the brilliant colors... how alive it seemed. She felt the goose bumps rise on her skin as it reacted to the strong wind in her face. The sensation of her heart racing with the exhilaration of the experience was something she was suddenly very much aware. She was also cognizant of how fresh the sea air was high above the water.
But above all of the things bombarding her senses in that moment, the single thing of which she was most aware, was the awakening of her body to Bo's touch as the brunette's fingers thread through her own. Always warm and familiar, strong yet gentle and nervous yet steady, it was a touch that stirred emotions in Lauren that she knew she would carry with her in moments when her name would be mentioned in the news, a familiar song played or she thought of home. She may be leaving their home state in a few days, but Lauren knew that Bo would be with her for a long time to come.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Dr. Lauren! Dr. Lauren! Look! Look what we found!"
Lauren's attention was drawn to the small voice on the beach as she hauled the last bag from the boat and carried it towards the dock house. A voice from behind caused her to turn her head,
"Go on. Greet your fan club. I'd like you to have as much time with him as you can before you leave."
Bo took the bag and turned to walk away before pausing, "Lauren?"
The blonde stopped and turned back to Bo with a smile, "Yea?"
Bo hated to take the frown from her face, but the blonde needed to be reminded, "You're going to have to tell him... soon, please."
Lauren shook her head, "Not yet, Bo... please... let him have this trip. I'll talk to him when we get back."
"That's not going to happen, Lauren."
The blonde took steps quickly back towards Bo, "What do you mean?"
"I'm keeping him here with me until I leave. Only the Professor and Vex are flying back with you."
"But Bo..."
"Lauren, I have to do what's best for him. It's my job and you know it. I will not subject him to the huge farewell that is surely going to happen... and... I won't be there for it either."
The blonde's mouth dropped open, "What do you mean?"
Bo looked up at Lauren, "I mean that when you and I say goodbye, it will be at the airport... here. I'm not going to be home when you leave."
"But you could surely change your flight..."
"Why Lauren? Would it change anything? Why should I go home, watch you pack and then be subjected to a bunch of tearful goodbyes? You chose leaving and I am graciously stepping aside, but please don't... not for one second... think that you get to choose what you will put me through as you go."
"I thought that we could have a few more days together, Bo. You know... in our home."
Bo laughed, "But that's just it, isn't it? It's not your home anymore. It's not 'our' home... it's my home. Every time I look at the new facility on my property, I'll be reminded of you. Every time I enter the PT facility, I'll be reminded of you. Every time I drive past your house, go grocery shopping... hell, go to the bank or ATM machine, I'll be reminded of you. And every single moment I spend with that boy over there, I'll be forced to think of you – even if by some miracle, he doesn't ask about you."
"I'm sorry, Bo..."
"Oh, stop with the apologies and own your choices, Lauren. I'm putting on my big girl pants and doing what I have to do so you can be happy and figure yourself out. I'm mad as hell at the world for what its put you through... for bringing you into my life when you weren't ready for me... and while I can be supportive, kind, understanding and loving to you in most moments, there are those times... like right now... where I'm mad as hell at you... jealous... that you get to go to the new place where there will be absolutely NO reminders of me!"
Bo turned and walked away, slamming the door of the dock house behind her. Lauren stood, stunned by the sudden turn in the brunette's mood, her words striking more truth than Lauren was prepared to face.
"Dr. Lauren? Is Bo mad at you?"
Lauren closed her eyes, her jaw tensing as she worked hard to put a smile on her face before she turned to the youngster,
"She's fine, Mav. We're just trying to work out some grown up stuff."
"Oh, that. My parents used to have grown up stuff too, but they always told me that no matter how much they yelled, they always loved me."
"That's very true, Maverick." Lauren said sadly, trying to turn the little boy's frown back to the excitement she saw when she'd first seen him, "So, what did you want to show me?"
"Ohmagosh! I almost forgot! Look what we found!" He held out a large rock and handed it to Lauren.
"Well, you're going to have to explain this to me, my young friend. I may know the human body, but I don't know a lot about rocks."
"Oh yea. Bo's the geographist."
Bo emerged from the dock house and walked towards the boy, ruffling his hair, "That's geological engineer, smarty pants. Nice rock!"
"Dr. Lauren doesn't know what it is!" He laughed.
"She asked you to drop the doctor, what... like ten times now?"
He looked up at Lauren, "Sorry." He looked back at Bo, "She still doesn't know what it is."
"Well, are you going to explain it to her?"
"Oh! Yea! It's a volcano rock!"
Bo shook her head, "That is not what it's called. Use your lessons!" Bo called from the beach where she had gone to help Sup get a fire started for after they'd eaten dinner.
"I forget! What's it called?"
Again, Bo shook her head, "I told you what it was called three times in class and you also got it wrong on the quiz, so I wrote the answer on your test! Come here!"
Maverick started to run towards Bo, but turned back, grabbed Lauren's hand and dragged her with him towards the beach where his teacher and mentor tossed him her phone,
"Look it up. From now on, anything I've repeated more than three times, you'll have to look up yourself."
Lauren watched as the boy did as Bo asked, smiling at the tip of his tongue that was protruding from the corner of his mouth as he worked. Finally, he stood up and held the phone up to Lauren,
"I knew it! It's called a igneous volcanic rock because you find it on the ground after a volcano. There are rocks under the magma and those are called igneous plutonic rocks."
Lauren looked at the rock, "So what's important about this particular rock? I mean... it's just rock, right?"
"Uh... it's the rock that most of this island is built on... that and sand. It's important to know this kind of rock exists because if it didn't, there would be no hope that if California or Hawaii or another other states that have volcanoes could ever be built by nature again if they get exploded by lava."
Bo laughed and shook her head at the young geologists explanation. She really should correct several things about his statement, but she had no desire to dampen his mood knowing what was coming. He had experienced so much loss in his young life so she wished that she could shield him from losing Lauren... if she had known all she knew now, she would not have introduced him to the blonde. Not because she wouldn't have wanted to, but because it was the one thing the social workers that she employed repeated over and over and over again to the entire staff. Consistency of support is crucial to the recovery of abandoned children.
The brunette shook her head, finally taking a seat on the bench of the picnic table not far from the fire, the Professor sitting across from her. She smiled at the massive collection of rocks they had amassed during the day.
"Did our man Maverick do all of this?"
Professor Meade nodded, "He's truly amazing, Bo. I had such an incredible day with him. He came back, pulled out his book on rocks and began identifying all of them. I thought that was it, but then he pulled out a tablet of paper and a pencil to create the labels you see under each of them."
A proud smile covered Bo's face as she lifted each rock and checked the label beneath for accuracy and spelling,
"That boy sure does love his rocks." Bo laughed.
"He said he loves them because they're always there when you need them."
Bo looked up, "What else did he tell you?"
"All about his family and how they died, about how you teach him 'stuff that matters'... his words, not mine... and that he was scared of losing Doctor Lauren... that he'd never see her again."
Bo nodded, looking up at where the two were still talking about the rock in his hands... at least, that's what she thought they were talking about.
"What did you tell him?"
Professor Meade scratched his head, "I told him that just because people are not physically present where we live doesn't mean you lose them. I reminded him that you have a phone and that there's this wonderful thing called technology that lets people keep in touch these days."
Bo nodded, her eyes down, "I don't know how to handle this."
"Who does? When people you care about leave you... whether relocating or through death... it's never easy."
The brunette smiled, "He's had so much loss, Professor."
"He has, but that doesn't mean he is losing Lauren. She can call him. They can use all of those new-fangled toys you kids have. What's that thing called that they use in the online courses at the university... Skype?
Bo nodded, her eyes still focused on the table beneath her hands, "That's true. I just... I don't want to get his hopes up that Lauren's going to keep in touch. Once she gets settled in there, makes new friends and starts working with the athletes, she'll be quite... focused. I don't even know if she would think to call him on a regular basis. She may just be too distracted."
"Out of sight, out of mind?"
Bo nodded, unaware that Lauren had slid in next to the Professor after hearing the end of their conversation.
"Are you worried I'll forget about Maverick... or you, Bo?" Lauren asked.
The brunette's head snapped up, her eyes falling on Lauren's. She didn't know what to say or how to answer. She just stared at the blonde knowing that her eyes went from surprised, to angry to questioning to... broken. Standing from the table she spoke,
"If you'll excuse me. I'm going to go help with dinner."
She looked up to where Maverick was gathering shells on the shore, "Mav! You're going to have to bag the rocks again, studly! We need the table to eat dinner."
"Okay! Just five more minutes!"
"Three... two..."
Bo didn't need to get to one before the young boy ran to the dock, placed his shells carefully on the wood and ran to the table. He clearly knew the drill and jumped when he was reminded.
"Thank you." Bo said, acknowledging his cooperation, "You can look for more shells after we eat."
"Can we surf in the real ocean tomorrow, Bo?"
The brunette smiled, "Only after you show me what you learned today at your lessons."
"I learned so much! Right, Professor?"
Professor Meade cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows towards Bo as he nodded his head, "He's got a point there, Miss Dennis. He's a natural in my inexperienced opinion."
"Okay. We'll see what you can do tomorrow then."
Bo pointed at the rocks, reminding him what he needed to do before heading into Sup's house to help with dinner. Left with no response, Lauren sat in silence. She had never considered what Bo had told her on the dock. She had thought that leaving everyone behind would be easy, but now she realized that being the one left behind... with all of the reminders of the one who'd left... was even harder... possibly unbearable at times.
Her eyes moved to Maverick, remembering the night she'd walked into the dorms to help with bed checks and found the young boy tossing and turning in his bed... the reminders of the killing of his family ever present... even during sleep. Despite the fact that he wasn't surrounded by snow in Hawaii, he'd told her on more than one occasion of things that had reminded him of his sibling or his parents. It seemed that there were reminders everywhere.
She then looked at Professor Meade who was watching Maverick intently. He'd lost his wife... the love of his life. He'd told Lauren that coming here was the best choice he'd ever made since sitting at home in the house where they'd lived was a constant reminder that he was alone. All that remained of her was his memories and their possessions. She that he'd spoken with a sad smile as he explained,
'Some days, I get up and see her picture and it makes me smile. I'm flooded with memories of a great life with an amazing woman. Other days I wake, see her picture and miss her so terribly that I just want to roll over, pull the covers to the top of my head and lay there until God sees fit to take me to her.'
Lauren had asked, 'How do you get through those days?'
'Slowly... and painfully. I throw myself into my work and hope that the next day I wake up and miss her a little less, but I never do.'
She was pulled from her musings by the sound of the Professor's voice,
"You can go collect shells until we call you for dinner, but make sure you rinse your hands off at the sink on the dock before you come to the table."
"Okay, Professor. Thanks!" Maverick ran off towards the water.
"And stay out of the water!"
"I know!" The young boy waved.
The two adults watch him settle in on the shore among a large pile gifted to the beach by high tide. Professor Meade laughed,
"He's a lot like I was as a kid. I was always exploring... we explored all day."
Lauren nodded, "He is truly special. I wish his parents could see how much he's grown and how strong he's become."
"So, did you explain your departure yet?"
Lauren shook her head, "Bo didn't tell me..."
"I see."
"Does she really believe..."
"Out of sight, out of mind?"
"Stop doing that!"
"Reading your mind?"
"Yes!"
"I'm sorry... I am a Professor. It's my job to read my students... and the story of you and Bo is not that difficult to figure out."
"Well, it seems pretty complicated to me and I'm half of the story." Lauren replied.
The Professor nodded, "Look, put yourself in Bo's shoes."
"I did... out there on the dock when she exploded on me. I don't know what happened. We'd had such a great day and then all of a sudden, she was just... angry."
"She saw you with Maverick and went into protective mode. Like I said, Lauren... put yourself in Bo's shoes. She lost both parents and knows what that loss feels like. She doesn't want Maverick to experience any more loss because she feels responsible for it... for his connection to you, Lauren."
"She introduced him to me, he got attached, I'm choosing to leave and he's going to feel that loss... more loss. Well, it's ridiculous that she thinks that is her fault. I'm the one who's choosing to leave... she didn't know this was going to happen when she introduced me to him. Frankly, if I'm putting myself in her shoes, I would have believed I was staying too."
Lauren closed her eyes, for the first time owning what she had done to Bo. She had led her into this relationship and made her think they had a future together. Now she was leaving her behind with all of the memories and none of the promises of a future she had hinted they would have.
"Doctor, you must trust that Bo will be okay eventually. She's a tough cookie who has a lot of experience with loss. She'll figure out how to go on without you and help Maverick to do the same."
"Just like that?"
The Professor nodded, "Just like that."
"Well then, good for her." Lauren spit the words like a snake spits venom from its mouth.
"Isn't it?" He asked.
"What?"
"Isn't it good that she'll be able to get over you and life her life... be happy? It's all she wants for you. It's why she's letting you go. It's why she's staying here with Maverick instead of going back... it will make your departure easier... for them... and you."
"None of this is easy." Lauren replied.
"Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Bo will be fine... angry for a time... but fine. You just can't expect that she's going to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, Lauren. She's in love with you and trying not to show you how much because it would mean admitting it to herself... then she would have to address the loss she feels and someone like Bo... well..."
"She's already lost so much."
"She has and in her mind, this is the third time she's losing you."
Lauren nodded, "I haven't exactly been the most... consistent partner lately."
"So, the only question that remains is how does this knowledge change things?"
The blonde shrugged, "It makes me feel guilty."
"Ah, but no one can make you feel guilty without your consent, Lauren. Do you believe it is Bo's goal to make you feel guilt?"
"No, not at all. On the contrary, I think she's actually trying to help me to have a great last day with her and Maverick... and you." Lauren smiled.
"Yes, me... of course." Professor Meade rolled his eyes at his name being added to the list, "So, will you allow yourself to enjoy the day with her and respect her decision to stay when you leave as she is respecting your decision that you are moving to Colorado for an undisclosed time with no promise of ever returning let alone having a relationship with her?"
"I've been selfish."
Professor Meade nodded, "Yes, but I don't think it was intentional. Your reasons for being selfish are valid... you've been through a lot and you need to figure out your life again. I don't know all that you have been through, but Bo tells me it's a lot."
Lauren only nodded, grateful that Bo had not disclosed personal information to the Professor.
"Well, with that said, we all agree that it's best for you go and find yourself or whatever it is you need to do, but it doesn't mean you get to be disrespectful to the relationships you have here... that is, not if you ever hope to have those relationships continue in some way or another. Love must be nurtured, my friend. If you don't keep in touch, they will think you don't care."
"But doesn't that work both ways?" Lauren asked.
"Yes and no. Remember, Lauren... you chose to leave and most of them do not agree it's a necessary step... most believe you could work things out here. It would be different if you were moving to Colorado and asking Bo to go with you, but that is not the case. To make matter worse, not only are you basically asking her to stay here, you're asking her to stay here so you can go have... uh... relations... with other women."
Lauren nodded, "Isn't the fact that I've been honest about all of this a good thing?"
"It is, but you can't believe that because you're being honest it's all easy to hear, can you?"
"I suppose not." Lauren replied.
Just then, Sup called out, "Dinner! Come fix your plate at the buffet, then you can eat outside. Maverick, Bo says to wash your hands!"
"I know, I know!" Maverick dropped some more shells on the dock before moving to wash his hands, "Professor! Help! I can't reach the sink!"
"I'm being summoned. Think about it, Lauren. Just remember... she's very much in love with you despite your time apart and the fact that you have apparently lied to her. She thought you were... the one... think about how it must feel to suddenly be told you're leaving."
Professor Meade stood and headed off to help Maverick leaving Lauren behind. She wished that she had answers for Bo, but without answers for herself, she couldn't make any promises. She stood and sighed as Maverick ran towards her,
"All ready! See!" Maverick held up ten fingers, wiggling them in front of Lauren's face.
"Good man. Let's go eat. I'm starving!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dinner was polite between Bo and Lauren. The men were entertaining and Maverick was... well... the center of attention as usual. Sup took his four guests back to the parking lot by the beach to where Lauren and Bo's rental cars were left when they'd all left for their daylong excursions.
"Well, I think the men will take your car and head back to the hotel, Lauren. This little guy is all tuckered out." Professor Meade said, buckling Maverick into the back seat of the car and pulling the keys out of his pocket.
Lauren argued, "Professor, we did not bring you along to play chief babysitter. You've had him all day, so I'll just go back with you so you can sleep. He wakes up most nights because of his dreams. I'll keep watch."
Bo nodded her agreement, "Lauren's right, Professor. I'm sure you're all very tired anyway. Jet lag can be rough on the body and mind. I appreciate the three of you staying awake for as long as you have to explore the island... and to support my efforts in the competition."
The competition. Lauren never even congratulated Bo on her win. Was she really this insensitive to Bo's dreams and goals? She'd sat on the beach and allowed herself to judge the mentality behind the sport, never once asking about the score or how Bo was doing when her patient Mark was in the medical tent.
"Uh... congratulations, by the way." Lauren blurted out.
Bo's eyes met hers for a moment before she shook her head and laughed, "Yea... thanks."
Lauren knew it was too little too late and making the comment as an afterthought probably just made Bo feel worse. The brunette had gone to the Olympics, putting her life on hold for three weeks to support Lauren's gold medal quest. She'd almost gotten herself killed by foiling Evony's evil plot at trying to kill her and Tamsin. Even before the Olympics, Bo had come out to her practices by wheelchair when she was in the hospital. Lauren remembered how pale and sullen she appeared... how worried she'd been about Bo being more than a block away from her doctors, but her then-girlfriend had insisted on being there.
The two adults watched as Bo pulled a note from her windshield. As she read the note, they saw her face twist into a pained expression before she folded it up and tucked it into her the back pocket of her shorts.
"Is everything okay, Bo?" Professor Meade asked.
Bo forced a smile, "Sure. Everything is fine. I hope you sleep well. I'm sure Kenzi didn't spare any expense on the accommodations, but that doesn't always mean the bed is the best."
"I've done many hotels, so I know exactly what you mean. Still, I have to admit I am quite fatigued, so I think I could fall asleep on a coffee table right now." Professor Meade stated with a laugh.
Bo nodded, giving a small smile before looking up at Lauren, "I hope you had a memorable day of excitement and firsts."
Professor Meade opened the door and slid into the driver's seat, pulling the door shut before starting the engine and allowing it to idle.
Lauren stood, staring at the ground for a moment before Bo spoke,
"He's waiting, Lauren."
"Bo..."
"Please, Lauren... don't try to say anything to make this better. If you need an apology, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have snapped at you on the dock. I ruined a perfectly good day by doing so, but Maverick is more than just a job to me... that whole school is more than just a job to me. I want to make a difference in this world, Lauren... make people's lives better. As a doctor, I'm sure you can understand. I just want to protect him and I'm worried about how you leaving is going to affect him. I trust that you care about him as well and will do right by him. Again, I'm sorry I snapped at you."
"Bo..."
"Let's just say goodnight, okay? Its been a long day and we're both tired. I know you want to try to do something to make everything okay, but the truth is, it's not going to be... not for a long time... for me, anyway. There is nothing you can do about that. If you stay, you'll be unhappy. If you go, I'll be unhappy. Whose happiness is more important? There's no way to judge that. What I do know is that you have never known happiness, so to me, it's your turn. It's why I want you to go. So please, don't try to make this better... please... I'm begging you... I just... I need to be alone right now... I'm just... I'm struggling and I don't want Maverick or the Professor to see me like this... please go, Lauren... now."
Lauren watched as the tears building in Bo's eyes broke free and she turned away, running back towards the beach. She wanted to call out to her... she wanted to hold her and comfort her, but once again, Bo was right. Lauren was helpless to do anything to make this better. It was up to Bo to deal with what she was feeling... to deal with her loss. Wiping the tears from her face, she opened the car door. She looked up to see Bo collapse on the beach, pulling her knees to her chest. Resisting the urge to run to her, she got in the car and went back to the hotel.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The bar was crowded despite the late hour. It always was the days after a surfing competition. Bo tried to slide up to the bar unnoticed, but when you're on a winning streak it was a hard thing to do. There were fans and competitors alike mingling throughout the establishment, so it took only a few moments for Bo's late night need for a drink to become what she had dreaded.
"BO DENNIS! CHAMPION OF THE FIJI PRO!"
The brunette cringed, as she raised a finger to the bartender, "Beer, please."
"Well, well, well... you look tastier than ever Bo Dennis. What do you say you and me go compete in a little mattress surfing since you kicked my ass in the water today."
Bo knew the voice immediately and could only be grateful that the crass and usually very forward woman wasn't around while she was spending time with Lauren. Things were tense enough as it was.
She followed the fingertips that were now dancing on her forearm, gazing at the long toned arms, ripped from paddling into the surf until her eyes fell on the bare shoulders that led to a slender neck, shrouded in sun-bleached hair and a pair of deep blue eyes that were smiling her way. It would be so easy to do the wrong thing... to take all of the hurt out on this body that Lauren's decisions had inflicted on her heart but unfortunately, Bo wasn't that kind of person... she used to be... but Lauren had changed her... life... had changed her.
"Well, well... if it isn't Sonjay LaPorte... what's the matter, there aren't enough gorgeous women around that you have to come back to me for seconds? Aren't you the woman who prides yourself on no repeat visits?"
"Ow. When you say it like that you make me sound like I'm... loose." She whispered the last part in Bo's ear, her lips gripping the lobe and giving it a tug.
Bo rubbed her shoulder against her ear, "You are loose, Sonjay. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with several beers before I head back to my room for some serious sleep."
"What happened to you, Bo? You fall in love or something?"
Bo laughed, "Oh it's something alright."
Sonjay wrapped her arms around Bo's waist from behind, leaning in and kissing the brunette's neck, "You know I won't give up easily, Bo."
Bo nodded, "Oh, I know Sonjay... I'd expect nothing less from you, but you should know that I'm really... really... not interested."
The blonde dropped a hand from Bo's waist down between her legs, applying just enough pressure to make the brunette grip her wrist,
"Sonjay, I said no."
"Fine, but just remember to..." She whispered in her ear, "...scream my name..." leaning on the bar top so she could look at Bo she finished, "... if you need me."
She winked at Bo before licking her lips and pulling away. Bo closed her eyes, willing away her body's response to the sexy blonde as memories of their one night stand pressed hard into her mind. Opening her eyes, she sighed and downed the remainder of her beer all in one go before she waved down the bartender for a second. It was going to take a lot of alcohol to move past this night.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lauren awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. She rolled over and opened her eyes. She sat up bolt straight, trying to figure out where she was when it hit her... Fiji... Bo...
Shaking off the sadness, she reached for her phone only to sigh when she saw Kenzi's name,
"Hello?"
"Hi Doc. Look, I'm sorry to bother you since I know that you are sort of bowing out of the whole life that is Bo, but... well... have you seen her? I had Dyson leave a note on her car before he left, but she never called. At first I was thinking maybe her cell phone battery died, but... well... it's four-thirty in the morning your time and she still hasn't called. It's pretty important so... well... do you know where she is?"
"No, Kenzi. I-I haven't seen her since around eleven last night. We... well..."
"I know, Doc... I know all about your day together."
"I thought you said she hadn't called you to..."
"She didn't. I helped her with the itinerary for the day. Surfer sisters, remember? I know everyone and every country that Bo knows from being dragged to her competitions all of my life before I started surfing in my own and our schedules started to conflict. She gave me the list of things she wanted to do and I made the calls. When I didn't hear from her after your parasailing fun, I figured something went wrong so I called Sup around ten and he... well... said that..."
"Bo was upset... she's been up and down since I got here."
"No, Lauren. She's been up and down since you dropped a bomb on her that you were suddenly leaving the state for good."
Lauren was silent, having heard this before.
"Yea... and you've got nothing to say. Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you. I'm sure she's fine. Having a great time with the woman you love... the only woman you've ever truly loved knowing that she's leaving is an easy thing to handle... piece of cake. I'm sure she's absolutely fine... missing... but fine."
"Kenzi, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know what any of you want me to say."
"We all want you to say that things got a little tough and you lost your mind, but you've got it back and you're staying where you belong with the people who love you, Lauren. If you can't say that, you can at least say at some point... in a month or so... you'll rethink the idea of coming home, but when you say you're leaving, you only talk like you are all in for life in Colorado."
"I don't know that, Kenzi... I don't know anything right now."
"Then say that, Lauren!"
"I don't want to get her hopes up, Kenzi."
"Oh, so you just want to take any hope that could possibly help her get through this at all? Do you remember what happened to you when you lost all hope, Lauren? Can you remember the exact moment when Nadia sucked the life out of you, turning you into the hard-ass bitch you've become in the months that you've come back home? I warned you... I warned you that Bo was falling in love with you and that you'd better be all in or walk away, but you didn't. You waited and now you're dragging my sister back down into the shitter after we worked for months to pull her out after you destroyed her heart in Rio. You didn't see her without you, but I did. I know exactly what we're going to be dealing with when she gets home next week."
"Kenzi, I'm sorry..."
"The least you could have done was stick around until she finished going for her dream, Lauren. She was there for you in Rio, but you didn't even mention her competition today... but I bet she didn't mention that, did she? She doesn't mention it because she knows you don't approve of her dream... you're afraid it will get her killed and you'll lose her. Connect the dots, Lauren... it doesn't matter if she lives anymore or not. You've sent a very clear message that you don't care if you lose her or not anymore, so I have to make sure she knows that the rest of her family cares about losing her so she doesn't turn into reckless nut on a surfboard again."
"Oh Gods... I didn't..."
"You know what, Lauren... my sister is missing after an argument with you. I'm sure I've already said some things I'll regret five minutes from now, but I can't worry about your feelings right now! Maybe that's a good thing because everyone is always worried about poor Lauren's feelings. Well, guess what, Lauren? We're all adults here and your shit becoming Bo's shit is turning her into even more of a hot mess than you. That said, I have to find her even if it means flying to Fiji to do it, so I really don't have time to do this with you right now. Enjoy your life, Lauren."
The phone went dead, leaving Lauren sitting in bed staring at her screen.
"Well, done Lewis. You've made enemies out of the only people who have ever loved you. Sure. Move to Colorado... there are always more friends and acquaintances to make. It's a big world, right? Screw them! I can hop the next flight out of here and be on my way... leave all their ungrateful asses behind!"
Lauren stood and began pacing back and forth at the foot of the hotel bed, reviewing what she had just said,
"What the hell is wrong with me? If anyone is being ungrateful, it's me. They've done nothing but support every choice that I've made. Sure Bo has been up and down, but I've put her on a roller coaster of emotions she never asked for because I lied to her... I lied to her from the very beginning. I was never free to love her – it was selfish of me to drag her into my mess of a life and she has had to pay for it..."
She sat down on the bed and placed her head in her hands, "... I just don't understand how she can still love me."
She stood again and moved to the window. Pulling open the blinds, she looked out across the dark parking lot below except for the dim lighting of the streetlamps that lined the road beyond. Looking up, she saw the whitewater of the coastline where she had left Bo a little over five hours earlier.
"Where are you, Bo?"
Sure, the situation between them was clouded, but so much had happened today that all Lauren had learned was that the brunette was a good woman with a loving and caring soul. Bo had never lied to her, cheated on her, hit her, manipulated her or broken her heart, but Lauren had now realized that while she had never physically hurt her or cheated on her, she had done all of those to Bo at some point during the past year... and she felt horrible about it.
She stood and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, a T-shirt, her socks and running shoes. This was as good a time as any to go look for the brunette disguised as an athlete going for a run. If Bo didn't want to be found by her and she just happened to be on the route of her run, she wouldn't think anything of it. At least she could then call Kenzi and let her know she was okay... she was okay... she had to be.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lauren had been running for an hour when she came upon a bar by the beach. She'd heard a lot of the surfers talking about meeting there when she was working in the medical tent yesterday. While she assumed the bar was closed, she figured she would circle the parking lot and just make sure that Bo's car was gone. She was just about all the way around when she saw the car parked in the back of the lot, isolated from the main parking spaces.
"Guess the bar was crowded when you got here." She said to Bo, even though the brunette was clearly not within earshot.
She approached the car, looking inside and around it, but there was sign of Bo.
"Maybe you went down to the beach... not a very good idea if you were drunk, though."
Lauren's pulse hastened as she began to worry about the brunette having stumbled into the water in a drunken state.
"I've never seen you drunk... you barely drink at all while you're training. Please tell me you aren't going to turn into an alcoholic over this, Bo."
She accelerated her pace as she ran towards the water, stopping when she saw her jacket in the dunes,
"Shit, Bo. Where are you?"
She looked around the dune, finding her car keys, phone, wallet and flip-flops. Gathering all of the items, she opened her phone to call Kenzi, only to find she had no signal. She quickly headed towards the parking lot knowing that if she took Bo's car, she could cover a lot more ground than she could on foot.
She turned the corner to come around the foliage and stopped. Her heart moved up into her throat as she saw Bo laughing with a tall, sexy blonde who couldn't seem to keep her hands off of the brunette.
"Sonjay, stop it! I have to find my keys so I can get back to my room and get a few more hours of sleep. I have to meet Val at nine for a press conference!"
"Well, I don't see your keys. Where did you leave them?"
Lauren took that as an invitation to walk up and explain just where the keys were.
"Uh... I think they're here."
"Lauren?" Bo asked standing next to the blonde.
"Kenzi called. She was worried that she hadn't heard from you and threatened to fly to Fiji to find you."
Lauren spoke as she moved towards the brunette, her eyes glancing occasionally at the blonde whose arms were now crossed defensively over her chest.
"When I saw your car here... at a bar of all places... I... well, I got worried so went to the beach. All of this was there."
She handed Bo her jacket, flip-flops, keys and wallet before handing her the phone, "You should probably call Kenzi and let her know you're okay. She was calling about the note she'd left you earlier."
"Shit. I forgot..." Bo said, lowering her eyes to her phone to see twenty-seven missed calls and fourteen missed texts from her sister in addition to ten missed calls from Tamsin and four from Sup, "Thanks... for coming out here... for finding this stuff."
"It's okay, I'm sure you and your... companion... would have found them eventually."
Lauren quickly put some distance between them, turning to walk back out towards the street to head back to the hotel. She felt like an idiot. Of course, Bo hooked up last night. She'd hurt her and told her she was leaving... why not? She didn't owe Lauren anything and if the truth was to be told, Lauren just might have done the same thing if she had been in Bo's shoes.
Lauren spun quickly, prepared to throw a right hook when she felt someone grab her wrist,
"Whoa! Lauren! It's just me!"
"Shit! Bo, you know better than to sneak up on me!"
Bo put up both hands, "I come in peace! Honest!"
"What is it, Bo? I want to go back to sleep."
"But... I thought you were out for a run?"
"I was sound asleep in my bed when Kenzi called. It took me a good fifteen minutes to decide to come looking for you since I didn't know if you would want me to be the one to find you."
Lauren nodded in the direction of the blonde back at the parking lot, laying on the roof of Bo's car as if she were a Sports Illustrated swim suit model,
"Apparently, the one you wanted to find you, did."
"Lauren..."
"You don't owe me any explanation, Bo. You were upset... by me... you had to blow off some steam. I have no right to judge who you're with and I did say we were going to see other people, so really... it's okay."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"Wow. You really don't know me at all, do you?"
"Well, I thought I did, but clearly, I don't. I thought you went for a more... pedestrian type, not the swim suit model type."
"Lauren, I'm a surfer. All of the women are swim suit models." Bo laughed.
"I'm going, Bo." Lauren turned to walk away, but Bo stopped her.
"No, Lauren. You're not going until the day after tomorrow, so I get to say my piece since you said yours."
The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and extended one leg slightly to the side as she sighed, "Fine. Say what you have to say."
"I'm not sure that I have anything to say, but I do have some questions for you to consider."
"Whatever, Bo... just say it. I really want to get out of here."
"Why? She's making you uncomfortable? What do you think you saw when you walked up to us in the parking lot, Lauren? What do you think the two of us in the parking lot at four o'clock in the morning means?"
"Four o'clock has long come and gone, Bo. It's almost sunrise."
Bo looked out towards the beach, "So it is... and a beautiful sunrise it will be." Bo smiled before turning back to Lauren,
"Who do you think I am, Lauren? Do you really think I'm the woman who tells you that she's in love with you and doesn't want you to leave, then goes and jumps into bed with the first woman who hits on her in a bar? Is that who you think you've been sharing your life with this year? Is that really what you think of me?"
"Well, I just found your car at a bar and... well... geez, Bo... look at her! She looks like she's auditioning for a photo shoot to cover Sexy Hood Ornament Car Magazine."
Bo laughed, "I don't think that's a real magazine, Lauren and yes, she is a bit much, but no... I did not sleep with her."
"But you went home with her?"
"To sleep, Lauren... I had a few too many and she took care of me. Apparently I almost got into a fight with another surfer and... well... she basically just saved my season. If I'd gotten into the fight, both me and the other surfer could have been suspended. I haven't earned enough points yet to win the championship and even if I had, with a suspension in the season, they may have chosen to disqualify me."
"Oh."
"Yea, oh. She was a good... no, a great friend to me last night, Lauren. She was there for me when I was alone, drunk and had no one else looking out for me. I'm grateful to her but I don't sleep with women when I'm in love with someone else."
Lauren nodded, feeling quite embarrassed for having made the assumptions she had made about the brunette,
"I'm sorry I assumed the worst, Bo. It's just... well, it's just one more reason that I need some time on my own. You're absolutely right about every question. I don't trust you... and you shouldn't take that personally... I don't trust anyone... I am conditioned not to trust, tell the truth if it will expose anything I perceive as a weakness and to run when I'm the least bit uncomfortable with putting myself in a position I perceive as vulnerable."
Bo was surprised at Lauren's admissions, "Wow... that's... those are a lot of... I don't even know how to finish what I wanted to say... it's just... a lot."
"I had several epiphanies yesterday... thanks to your itinerary, I was put in situations that forced me to see things about myself, about you and... well, about us."
"Will you share?"
Lauren shook her head, "I... I don't know, Bo. I think that... well... something that Kenzi said has made me rethink things and... well..."
"BO! BO! Are you gonna say goodbye or what?"
Bo groaned, "Will you wait for me? Let me just..." Bo threw her thumb over her shoulder towards the other blonde causing Lauren to nod,
"Yea, go."
Bo turned and ran back to Sonjay, giving her a hug, dodging a kiss and opening her car door for her. The blonde turned and whispered something to Bo before getting into the driver's seat. Bo closed the door and stood back while the car pulled away. She watched as Sonjay stopped and leaned out the window towards Lauren, saying something she couldn't hear. Her ex nodded as the car pulled away, her eyes remaining on the ground in front of her. Bo walked quickly to the blonde, worried about what Sonjay would have said,
"Lauren? What did she say? She can be a total ass sometimes."
The doctor looked up at the surfer, "She told me I was crazy for leaving you behind and that if I did, I should know that she has been waiting for years for a chance with Bo and she was going to take it."
Bo sighed, moving towards Lauren, "Sweetie, I have no interest in Sonjay. She's been hitting on me for years, so if I wanted to be with her, I would have done so by now."
"So you've never been with her?"
"I had a one-night stand with her a little over two years ago. Yes, she wanted me to sleep with her last night, but as I said, I'm in love with someone else. She's not my type, Lauren. Do you really think she would ever put time into the kids back at the school? Into Maverick? Hell, she hates working with the rookies on the pro circuit, I can't imagine her teaching young kids from scratch."
Lauren only nodded, admittedly unnerved by the interaction with the sexy blonde, "I guess the truth is, until yesterday, I'd never thought about you in your sport... how you're surrounded by gorgeous women in bikinis all day long. You share something with them that I will never truly understand. I guess... I can just understand why you might prefer one of them over me."
Bo frowned, "Don't do that. Don't try to make your decision the right one for me. Don't try to make excuses about why I'm better off with out you. Don't insult me by telling me I don't know my own heart. You don't get to do that, Lauren."
The pair were silent for a moment before Bo spoke,
"I'm sorry, Lauren. I just... this is so hard. I just feel like you didn't even give us a chance before you made the decision to go off to Colorado. You didn't even talk it over with me... you just made the decision. I thought we were going to work our way back towards each other... I know I wasn't always the most positive voice in the room, but I thought you knew that I wanted you healthy AND I wanted us."
Lauren nodded, "I did hear that, Bo. But I just think the only way for me to get healthy is for me to be away from all of my support. I can't grow up and be an adult if I'm constantly leaning on everyone else for support."
The two stood there in silence again, before it was Lauren who spoke this time, "Bo, will you take a walk with me?"
The brunette hesitated for a moment before she nodded.
"Will you hold my hand?" Lauren asked.
Bo paused, staring at the offered hand, "Why do you want to hold my hand?"
"It's okay if you don't, but I think that holding hands grounds us when we talk."
Bo nodded and accepted the gesture, "Grounded it is."
Lauren smiled as the two headed for the beach, stopping at Bo's car to deposit her belongings and the blonde's shoes and socks.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The pair walked for quite some time before Lauren asked if they could stop, explaining that she had run for over an hour without stretching before they walked for another thirty minutes. She had lost a good amount of conditioning since the Olympics, so stretching had become a necessity before and after running.
The blonde noticed a large shell at the water's edge up ahead, "Look... let's sit there so we can find some shells for Mavericks' collection."
Bo agreed, following Lauren to the treasure trove of gifts from the sea, "Oh. My. Gosh! I wish he were here, Bo! I wish he had been the one to find these! Look! A huge Conch shell!"
"Wow, he's going to love that." Bo said, accepting the shell from Lauren, "It's amazing that I've been here all week and have never seen this many shells in one place."
"Were you up at sunrise every day?"
"Oh hell no." Bo laughed, "I slept in as much as possible. As much as I love watching sunrises, when you have to do it for a living at the school, it's not so bad to miss a few while you're away."
"Look, Bo! This is a Triton Shell! I've never seen one in person before!" Lauren picked up the shell, examining every detail, "Well, hello you."
Bo watched with a big smile on her face as the blonde fell into her element. It had always been amazing to her that this woman could be dealing with a very emotional and intense issue, but throw something scientific at her and her mood would change immediately. As she kept her eyes on the blonde beauty now, she realized this child-like enthusiasm was one of the things that had drawn her to the blonde to begin with.
Lauren looked up to see Bo watching her, "What?"
Bo smiled and moved towards her, "We were just talking about all of the drama in our life, but show you a simple seashell and you're smiling like you've just won the lottery."
Lauren frowned, "I'm sorry, Bo... I guess I just got caught up. I didn't mean to discount the importance of your feelings about everything that's..."
Bo nodded, "No, Lauren... I didn't mean... I was just pointing out that... well... this version of you... giddy about science, so enthusiastic about finding something rare and beautiful... it's one of the many things that led to me falling in love with you. I would love to see you like this more often."
The blonde handed the shell to Bo before hooking her arm into the brunette's elbow and pulling her down to sit with her. Lauren looked out to sea,
"This 'version' of me, as you call it, is who I believe I would have become all the time if my step father hadn't happened... if the bullies hadn't happened... if Nadia and then Evony hadn't happened."
"I'm sorry those people entered your life, Lauren and I hope that you are able to find the pure you... the one you were always meant to be wherever life takes you."
Lauren looked down at the shells between her legs, her eyes roaming over them, hoping to spot another great find for Maverick while she spoke,
"You know, Kenzi said something to me later and... well... while I was running and looking for you, it made me realize... well... that she was right."
"Well, since I wasn't a part of that conversation, you're going to have to help me out with what she was right about."
The blonde smiled, "She said a lot of things... she was pretty upset that you were missing."
"I'm sure she didn't mean things she may have said out of fear for my safety."
"Oh, I think she meant what she said but maybe will regret the tone of voice she used. Either way, I get it... I get why all of you are upset with me."
Lauren turned to face Bo, taking both of her hands in her own. She looked up at the brunette and spoke with as much honesty as she could muster,
"I came out of inpatient care and made a commitment to trying to find my way back to you, Bo. Things got rough when new issues arose with regards to my situation with Nadia and I made a choice without even discussing it with you first. That was wrong of me."
"Lauren, we both agreed that we weren't back together, so..."
"That may have been the case, but we had made a promise to try to get there, so at the very least, I should have told you I was considering the move rather than just drop the bomb on you. I owed you that much. It was disrespectful and hurtful to do otherwise."
"Well... thank you for that, I guess?"
"Yea, I realize that me saying that doesn't change the fact that I've already done it, but I wanted you to know that I now know that I was wrong in the way I handled it."
"Would a conversation have changed your mind?"
"Honestly, I don't know and it's too late to go back and undo it now. I took an opportunity from you and it was wrong."
Bo nodded, staring down at their joined hands intent on watching how Lauren's thumbs moved gently back and forth over her fingers.
"I told you I was going away and did not mention my intentions for the future. The way Kenzi said it was something like... 'I gave you hope for a future when we met and then all of a sudden took that hope away by making a choice that you had no say in.'... she was right. That's exactly what I did and I have done nothing or said nothing to make you believe that you have a reason to have any hope about our future."
Lauren closed her eyes, hoping that she would say this in the way that she intended so she wouldn't set Bo off. Taking a deep breath, she went for it,
"I don't like to give people false hope. When I have a patient who is going in for a surgery that they may not survive, I don't tell the family that they'll be alright. The truth is, I don't know what will happen. There are many variables in performing surgeries, especially if the patient has certain wounds or conditions."
Lauren took a breath, "I think I've learned that relationships... ours included... are multi-faceted just like surgeries. There are things that are known and there are things that are unknown."
Lauren looked up, meeting Bo's eyes, "I can honestly tell you that I have never in my life met a more dedicated, caring, compassionate, loving, hard-working, enthusiastic, brave, intelligent, multi-talented, curious, woman in my life. You have showed me nothing but love and endless devotion, often putting your own needs second to my own. I could not have asked for a better partner to spend this past year of my life with, given all that was happening for and to me."
The blonde swallowed hard, not wanting to cry as she spoke,
"How could I not fall in love with such a beautiful, beautiful soul as you, Ysabeau Dennis? Of course I love you... and leaving you... well, it's very, very hard."
Lauren released Bo's hand for a moment to wipe her eye, and then gripped it again, "But... I'm not happy, Bo. I'm not myself. I keep hurting you. I keep hurting myself and... well... that's not good for you, me or those who love us... and that is why I have to do this."
This time, it was Bo who released Lauren's hand to wipe her tears before gripping the blonde's hand again as she continued,
"I wish I could stay and just continue with the way things have been, but it's not working, Bo. The night that you took off and I broke down, Tamsin and Kenzi did exactly what I thought I needed, but you told them it was the wrong thing. I can't live with people who are constantly going to be my caretakers. What good will I ever be to you if I can't take care of myself?"
She looked upwind, allowing the breeze to carry the hair from her face, taking a moment to look at the sun that was just beginning to breech the horizon.
"I don't want this to be the last sunrise I ever have with you, Bo." She turned to look at the brown orbs, watery and sad, staring back at her, "I want to have many more sunrises with you, but for now, it is just a dream."
Looking down at their joined hands she spoke, "You and I... we've made a life of fulfilling our dreams. While I cannot promise to fulfill this dream or even that it's a dream that won't fade into the background, I do have hope that this isn't the end for us. I can't imagine there are many women in this world who can hold a candle to you, Bo Dennis. If I find one, I would be lucky if she showed an interest in me, but I will always compare her to the original... because you are not someone I will ever forget."
Bo's tears fell harder at Lauren's words. The thought of her with anyone else made her heart feel a heaviness that took her breath away.
"As I sit here with you right now, I can tell you that when my plane lands in Colorado on Sunday, that I want to call you and tell you all about my new residence. I want to talk to you about your day and the school and Maverick while I unpack. When I finish my first day at work, you are the one I want to call first to tell you all about the facility and what I did on my first day. When I find out that I they have hired Peaches as my office secretary, you will be the one that I want to complain to."
The pair shared a laugh over the idea,
"I certainly hope they don't hire her. I'd hate for you to end up in jail your first week for punching her out." Bo remarked as Lauren nodded with a smile.
"Bo, I... there are so many things I want to say to you, but... I'm so inexperienced with relationships and the truth is, I don't know what's okay for me to say or not to say. I don't want to do anymore damage to us... to you... to your heart. What I mean is... is it wrong for me to give you hope when I'm such a mess? I'm so certain of my love for you, but I'm so uncertain about who I am, what I like, what I want to be... who I want to be. What if the answer to those uncertainties doesn't allow me to love you at some point? What if I give you hope and then take it away again?"
The brunette gave Lauren a tight smile and a nod, "I see. Well... I can understand why that may be a concern for you."
"You can?"
Bo nodded, "Yup. Because there is something you haven't learned yet that I learned at a very young age."
The blonde asked, "What is that?"
"Well, I had a Mom who told me every single day that there is always hope... that there is hope in all things... that if we lose hope, we lose our will to go on and without a will to go on, we die."
Lauren nodded, "She told you that after your Dad died?"
Bo smiled, squeezing Lauren's hands, "I had about two weeks where I wouldn't go to school, I wouldn't surf, I was mean to Kenzi and I wouldn't talk to any of my friends when they called. The first three days, I wouldn't even get out of bed. I missed him so much... I was lost without him."
"I can understand that... I remember feeling the same way when my Mother died, but my Aunt literally pulled me out of bed by the sheets, pulled me in the shower and turned it on."
"Wow... my Mom took... well... a different approach. I had to be up, showered and ready to eat breakfast with her every morning before she left for work. At breakfast, we would talk about my Dad and before she got up to leave for work, she would have me ask her one question."
"What did you ask her?"
"I'm not sure. It was something different every day, but the one day I remember clearly, I asked her how she did it... when she asked what, I asked her how she was getting out of bed every day since I knew she missed Daddy as much as I did."
Lauren watched Bo take several deep breaths. She knew this was emotional for the brunette, so waited patiently for her to continue,
"She said because his hope was in me and my little sister. We were his hope... his legacy. We were the ones that would change the world as he had taught us. He did everything he could to teach us what was important and what our purpose was on this earth... he told her that when he was gone, they would be his hope for the future of the world."
Bo's eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Lauren, "So, you see... I've lived my life on hope. I have hope for every one of those kids at our school because I know that we're giving them a chance to be people that they wouldn't have been without us. I have hope for the future of surfing because we're building a state of the art training facility that will grow surfers raised in some of the best surf breaks in the world. I have hope for my home state because I'm working to make sure that if our volcanoes become active, they won't kill off our wildlife, vegetation and people. I have hope for my little sister because she's found her place in our business to build her confidence, independence and sense of self as a business woman."
She looked up at Lauren, "You know, I didn't thank you for your vote of confidence that night at your house when you had her handle the sensitive hack and subsequent download of the footage that ultimately freed you from Nadia... and possibly freed her from herself."
"I trust her."
Bo nodded, "I know and you have no idea how much that vote of trust and confidence helped her to be a stronger woman."
The brunette wiped her cheeks before she finished, "I have hope for Maverick because he has opened himself up to the possibility of adopting a new kind of family and is getting help and support for the traumatic events that occurred in his past. I have hope for each and every one of our employees because they are part of something that is bigger than themselves. I have hope for you, because you finally have a clear path to become the best version of yourself... a version that I hope will have the opportunity to finally see that you have the opportunity to live the best version of your life."
"And what about you? Do you have any hope for yourself?"
Bo smiled, "I have hope that if I do the right thing... no matter how it affects me... and that right thing comes from a place of love, that life will repay me tenfold by doing right by me and giving me the love I need and deserve. My Mom always said that love is the most powerful force on earth... I have to have the hope of my father and the trust in love of my mother... it's all I know to do. From there, I just have to take each day one day at a time. So do I have hope that you and I will be together some day? Of course I do. Because right here, right now in this beautiful place surrounded by the amazing rainbow of colors in this sky, I look at you and my heart is full of love... a love I can't imagine ever losing."
"But Bo..."
"No, Lauren... you can't fear hope... please don't ask me not to hope... it's all I have left of you once you go. My heart is full of love for you... if you take that love away, my heart will be empty... and if my heart is empty, I will lose hope and those kids, Maverick, Kenzi, my employees... they will lose me and my love... where will they be then? Some people have religion, I have hope and love... it is the source of my faith in humanity. It is the source of my faith that you and I will some day find each other again. Can you honestly look at me right now and tell me you and I are over?"
Lauren looked at Bo for a long while before tears filled her eyes, "I'm afraid."
Bo nodded, "I know you are... but what are you afraid of?"
"What if I can't love you enough? What if I don't come back? What if I hurt you again?"
"What if none of that happens? What if we can just take one day at a time, talk to each other and love each other just as we are in that moment? What if we just kept doing that day after day? What if one day you asked me to fly out to visit and I said yes? What if one day you hopped a flight to Hawaii for a visit and we sat on a beach at sunrise looking for seashells and just talked like we are now and loved each other?"
Lauren looked at the painted sky that surrounded them before looking at Bo, "I think those would be really nice days."
Bo smiled, "I'll do whatever you need, Lauren... as long as we keep talking like this."
"So, I guess we need some rules."
"Rules?"
Lauren nodded, "Conversation and visitation rules."
"Okay. You first."
The blonde considered her concerns and began with the biggest one, "We don't talk about any dates unless we've seen the same person three times with the intention of continuing to see them."
Bo nodded, "Agreed, although I'm a big fan of the ignorance is bliss train of thought."
"Do you really not want to know if I may be falling for someone else?"
"Actually, I just really don't want it to happen."
"Well, I can tell you that I hope it doesn't happen on your end either, but I'm not going to allow myself to believe it couldn't."
"Time will tell."
Lauren nodded, "Okay, your turn."
"We talk to each other... at least once a week. I don't want any long periods of time without talking. It just makes it awkward and leaves a lot of questions when we finally do talk."
"Agreed. If you don't call for more than a week, I'll start thinking you found someone else or you're mad at me or I'm nothing more than an afterthought anymore."
"Right." Bo replied, "Your turn."
"No visits until Thanksgiving at the earliest." Lauren replied.
Bo nodded, "Just so you know, the Maui Women's Pro overlaps Thanksgiving, so I'll be traveling to Honolulu for that... I'm not sure if I actually have to be there on the holiday or not, but... I'm just saying."
"Well, remind me if I'm being a selfish horse's ass and not supporting your career for the holiday."
The brunette laughed, "Duly noted... of course, it's the last event of the year and will either be my crowning achievement or my greatest failure."
"I'm sure it will be the former, Bo. I plan to come with champagne to celebrate."
"Oh, please... let's not mention champagne... like ever... ever again."
Lauren shook her head, "Sorry... I forgot..."
"Champagne is one of those key words that still brings back some unwanted memories."
"Any other rules you want to throw down?" Lauren asked.
"You call Maverick... more frequently than you call me and you invite him to come snowboarding once Ciara thinks he can handle going again."
"I will absolutely do both. I love that little boy, Bo and I was serious about... forget it."
"Serious about what?" Bo asked.
"That if we were together, I'd want us to adopt him." Lauren said quietly.
"Well, with the timelines we're on, we may end up adopting him when he's eighteen." Bo laughed.
"Better late than never, right?"
Bo nodded, "Anything else?"
"No unannounced visits. I just... seeing you with that woman today... I can't imagine walking in on anything more than what I saw."
"Say no more. I've already expressed my regrets over seeing things I can't unsee."
Lauren nodded, "I should have had him stay in the room or have Ciara in there with you so you wouldn't..."
"It's not your fault... I did it to myself. It's hard to have that stuff in my head, but I'm trying to not visualize it anymore. I have to admit that when you told me you were leaving, the footage played more and more vividly in my head each night."
"Bo, I just want you to know that right now, I can't imagine sleeping with or dating anyone else. I'm still in love with you and... truthfully, I hope that as I change, that's the one thing that never changes."
"Me too." The brunette replied.
"Look!" Lauren pointed towards the water at a shell that had just washed up onto the beach.
"What is it?" Bo asked as the pair stood and walked to the water.
"It's a living sand dollar! I've only seen these dried in a store." Lauren gently picked up the sand dollar, cupping her hand, careful to keep some water in her palm.
"What's this one?" Bo asked, picking up another shell, "It's cool."
"Ooh, that's a good one. It's a King's Crown in laymen's terms." Lauren looked up at Bo, "You don't really want to know the scientific name of all of these, do you?"
"Not at all... no offense."
"No offense taken. I know my science isn't for everyone."
"Oh, I love your science... as long as you keep it basic for the beginners in the class. You can talk genus and species with Mav."
Lauren smiled, "Should we go take our treasure to him and have some breakfast?"
"Sure, but... first... I just want to be clear... are we going to try to keep this idea of us finding our way back to each other... I mean... as a couple?"
"If I dare to have the hope that you have, yes... it is my dream, Bo. I am just unwilling to state that as a promise to you for fear of hurting you more."
Bo nodded, "Hope and a dream is all I'm looking for, Lauren. It's better than the absolute over that I thought you were saying this was."
Lauren nodded, "I'm sorry that I didn't realize that is how you were taking it sooner. I was so worried about letting you down yet again that I was worried about offering you any further explanation than what my plan was for myself."
"Well, what do you say we go wake the Professor and his protégé so we can unveil the treasure trove and get some breakfast?"
"Sounds perfect... of course... it is still a bit early. Maybe a nap is in order first? I told Maverick I would let him sleep 'until forever'... his words, not mine."
Bo laughed, "Well, when you consider he was awake for what must feel like a day and a half, I'd treat is like a no-chore Saturday."
"A no-chore Saturday?"
"Well, as you know the kids have rotating chores on Saturday... what you may not know is that every two months, you rotate off the chore schedule..."
"Thereby having a no-chore Saturday?"
Bo nodded, "Right. So, on those days, the kids are permitted to stay up until midnight and sleep until ten in the morning at the latest."
"So we could nap until ten?" Lauren asked.
"Mmm." Bo replied as they arrived at her car, "Want a ride back to the hotel or were you planning on finishing your run?"
"Truthfully, there was no run planned for today until you went missing."
"SHIT! Kenzi!" Bo pulled out her phone and sent a quick text off, promising she was alive, well and found by Lauren an hour ago... that they'd talked, she was better and she agreed with her decision from the note. She then opened her car door and got into the car.
"That's it? You're not going to call her?"
Bo shook her head, "Nope. I'll end up talking to her through my nap and trust me, I could definitely use one."
Lauren nodded, growing quiet for a long moment before she asked, "Bo, you know you could tell me if you slept with her... I really would understand."
"Didn't we just make that rule?" Bo asked.
"I haven't left yet so the rules don't apply." Lauren replied with a smirk.
"Lauren, I honestly did not sleep with her... I mean... her hotel room is one king sized bed, so I did sleep in her very large bed, but there was nothing but sleeping going on... oh, and maybe some drunken venting which would explain her comment to you."
The blonde nodded, "She is very beautiful."
Bo pulled the car to a stop.
"Bo? You've just stopped the car in the middle of the road. What are you doing?"
The brunette sat, staring at Lauren.
"Bo! There's no traffic light or stop sign here! We're going to hold up traffic."
"What traffic?"
Lauren looked around and laughed, "True, but... well..."
"Relax, Lauren... I know you live life following the rules, but sometimes, you have to get creative. I needed to look at you."
"Why?"
"Well, I wanted to make sure to be honest and to do that, I had to take a moment to compare and evaluate."
"Compare and evaluate what?"
"Your beauty compared to Sonjay's."
"Oh... well... I... uh... so... what is your conclusion?"
Bo smiled, "Sonjay truly is a physical beauty, but she has the emotional depth of a kiddie pool, the social class of a drunk – which she often is, and the mentality of a reality show drama queen."
"Oh, well... that sounds... interesting."
"No, interesting would be the mystery behind you when we first met... how was it that I couldn't get what was supposed to be a one-night-stand girl out of my head? No, you, Doctor Lauren Lewis... you are physically stunning, mentally astounding, socially adorably awkward and always in control... except with the likes of Peaches... and emotionally damaged because you care so much."
Lauren shook her head, "I don't know that I've showed you that I care so much... I've been incredibly selfish in so many ways, Bo. I can't believe you've been able to love me despite that fact. I didn't even both to ask you or comment on your win yesterday."
Bo nodded, "Yea, that did sting a bit, but I know that you're still trying to figure out how to love me despite my love of something that you think is completely idiotic to do."
"Not idiotic... just risky."
"Life is a risk, Lauren."
"I guess you're right."
"See, I'm a good influence on you. A month ago, you would have disagreed with me, saying something like 'life is only a risk if you do things on the top ten list of dangerous things from the insurance institute of America or something like that."
Lauren laughed, "Is there such an organization?"
"I have no idea, but it sounded good. I think I'm delirious. I really need to sleep."
"Well, let's get you to bed then."
Bo pressed the accelerator and headed down the road, turning right to go the last half block to their hotel. Pulling into the lot, she grabbed her belongings as Lauren did the same, closed the doors and locked the vehicle. Lauren reached for her hand, which Bo smiled and took, walking into the hotel together.
At the elevator, Lauren hit seven for her floor and as Bo went to hit five, Lauren gripped her wrist,
"Would you mind... I mean... would you sleep with me?"
Bo nodded nervously, "Sure... uh... yes."
"Just sleep, Bo... I just want to lose this connection again."
Bo nodded, wrapping an arm over Laurens' shoulder. The brunette knew that when Lauren left, the loss of this connection was inevitable, but for now, she needed it as much as Lauren did.
After a short walk down the hallway, Lauren slid the room key into the slot and opened the door. She wasted no time kicking off her shoes, pulling off her socks and stripping out of her sweats. She slid into the bathroom while Bo stripped off her jacket before she called into Lauren,
"Do you have anything I can borrow? My clothes still smell like beer and bar smoke."
Lauren replied, "Top drawer... take what you want. I over packed, of course."
Bo smiled thinking about how 'Lauren' it was that she had brought extra clothing. She pulled out what she knew to be the blonde's favorite Yale tank top and shorts, stripping out of her clothing and underwear before pulling them on.
As Lauren left the bathroom, Bo went in asking, "Can I borrow your toothbrush?"
The blonde laughed, "It's not like we haven't shared spit a thousand times before, right?"
Bo nodded, "I'll take that as a yes."
Lauren slipped out of her underwear and into a fresh pair of shorts and a new T-shirt, her others wet and sandy from sitting on the beach. She crawled into bed, making sure to set her phone alarm for three hours from now. Bo came into the room and crawled into bed next to Lauren, both women lying on their backs.
"I feel like a teenager on a first date." Bo said to the ceiling.
Lauren laughed, rolling over to lie beside the brunette. Bo took a breath as she felt the blonde's fingers slide down her neck to her chest, running along the low cut neck of the top before grazing over her right breast, her thumb glancing over her hardened nipple until her hand was cupping the heavy mound of flesh,
"Is this okay?" Lauren asked.
Bo's response caught in her throat, so she leaned in and kissed Lauren instead of trying to speak, hoping she understood that she didn't want her to pull her hand away. The blonde's lips parted, hoping Bo would deepen the kiss and the brunette did not disappoint, her tongue entering the blonde's mouth, seeking anything that would allow her to make the moment more intimate.
The brunette's hands roamed, slipping inside the waistband of Lauren's shorts and gripping her firm buttocks, pulling Lauren on top of her until their bodies were flush against one another. Bo slipped her other hand into Lauren's shorts, gripping the other rounded cheek. She pulled the blonde's hips towards her own, allowing her to grind into her a bit as they deepened their kiss and moved together.
As the need began to build, so did the urge to take things further. Bo broke the kiss, pulling her hands up to rub Lauren's back,
"Wow. That was... some kiss."
"Fully clothed kissing, this is new for us." Lauren replied, her hands sliding to the sides of Bo's breasts.
Bo gently covered Lauren's hands, enjoying feeling Lauren's fingers move over her body of her own choosing.
"You still like my breasts?" The brunette asked.
Lauren smiled, "Is it that obvious? I mean... we're doing horny teenager, so I think I'm supposed to feel your boobs, right? Isn't that part of first base?"
Bo smiled, looking down at the blonde's hands which were now cupping both of her breasts, her thumbs moving back and forth over the hardened nubs protruding through the thin material of the borrowed tan top, "I think it's absolutely a prerequisite to adult activities, but I think you're rounding second, sweetie."
"I'm an advanced horny teenager." Lauren laughed.
"Do you think it's a good idea to take this... too far?" Bo asked.
"Probably not. I guess I'd better stop. I'm sorry. This is probably torture for you."
Bo smiled, "It's always nice to feel wanted by you. I'm okay, I'm just not sure that I can handle the goodbye that would come after making love with you."
Lauren nodded as Bo asked, "Can I be the big spoon now?"
Lauren smiled, "Sure."
After positioning themselves, Bo smiled, "Goodnight, Lauren."
"Goodnight, Bo."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The alarm sounded causing both women to groan, "It's time to take a shower."
Bo mumbled, "I only need ten minutes... five even... I'll pull my hair up wet."
Lauren laughed as she pulled back, lifting her arm from beneath Bo's pillow to prop her head up. She looked down to see Bo lying beside her, both hands above her head, one breast hanging out of the side of the loose-fitting tank top while the peak of the other strained through the material.
"It looks like they want to say hello to me. Do you mind?" Lauren asked as she watched her own hand trace the dark color of the brunette's exposed breast before thumbing the nipple until it was sufficiently hard. She then slipped her hand beneath the material to give attention to the other. She cupped the heavy flesh of the ample breast and teased the nipple with her fingertips.
Bo couldn't help but press her chest into Lauren's hand, "God that feels so good."
Lauren smiled, her fingers continuing to travel over Bo's chest, "I really am like a horny teenage boy... I love your breasts. I would love to take pictures of you topless and hang them all over my new house... and maybe have one in the glove compartment of my car."
"Your glove box, huh?" Bo laughed, "Is there something you want to tell me about the Doctor Lewis commute that I didn't know about?"
Lauren tried to keep a straight face as she spoke, "I was sure I told you about my rush hour fantasies."
"Ummm... nope! I'm sure I would have remembered that." Bo laughed.
"Okay, well if I'm ever stuck in traffic, I have something to look at besides someone's bumper if I have my secret love box."
"Love box, huh?"
Lauren giggled as Bo pulled the blonde on top of her, claiming her lips as her own before pulling back to lift the blonde's top over her head.
"You are incredibly beautiful morning." Bo said before the blonde leaned down and kissed the brunette, her hands now wandering at will under and over the brunette's tank top while Bo responded in kind.
Their legs entwined, Lauren's bare thigh coming to rest against Bo's wet core, "I can feel how wet you are. Do you want some... relief? I mean... are you sure about this... I mean... I don't want you to have any regrets with us."
"Forget what I said... it's going to hurt when you leave whether we do this or not. I'm choosing this, Lauren." She pulled back and looked in Lauren's eyes, "Just promise me this isn't some experiment... promise me that right now, here... in this moment... that you want to make love with the Bo you fell in love with."
"But that Bo no longer exists... this Bo means so much more to me."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I fell in love with you quite quickly, if you recall and since then, I've brought so much... unrest... to our relationship but you've been here for me despite that and I love you even more for it."
"I did have my moments, Lauren."
"And so did I, Bo but here we are... still loving each other."
"Well, right now, I just want you to know how much I love you and will miss you." Lauren pulled Bo into a tight hug. Bo took the opportunity to whisper in her ear, "Gods I'm going to miss you so damn much, Lauren."
The blonde pulled back, looking into Bo's eyes, "I'm going to miss you too, Bo. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to change my mind and stay... to stay for you... to be with you... but I can't, Bo... I can't do that to you... I can't be a woman who is incomplete... I need to be more for you and I need you to let me try to become that... to have hope that I can become that and still come back to you... I need you to give me that hope."
"Time will tell if we'll get our happily ever after, sweetie. For now, what do you say we just love each other here and now?"
Lauren smiled, "That sounds absolutely perfect."
The blonde rolled off of the brunette, pulling Bo on top of her. Sitting up, the surfer pulled her top off, allowing the blonde full view of her upper body,
"Is this what you want, Lauren? Am I what you want?"
"I want to want you forever, Bo... please help me to keep loving you... I really don't want to lose you... I really don't want to lose us." Lauren reached up to pull Bo to her as more tears broke free.
Bo pulled back, her hands moving to the sides of the blonde's neck, her thumbs trailing along her jaw,
"Don't cry, sweetie... please don't cry... just love me and let me love you."
A small hiccup broke from the blonde's throat as Bo wiped her tears, "I'm so sorry for doing this to us, Bo... I want nothing more than to change my mind right now, stay right here and never leave."
"I want the same thing, Lauren but I need you to do this now... you need to do this... for six months, a year or longer. I've suddenly realized that if you're going to love me... if you're going to be with me... I need it to be for good... I want a lifetime commitment from you, Lauren, so you need to go and decide if I am the one you can't live without... whatever that takes."
Lauren sat staring at the brunette for a long moment, "Bo, are you... I mean... that's... are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Before we went to Rio, I told Kenzi that I thought you were the one. A lot has happened since then, but despite it all, my love for you has never wavered. Sure I've been mad, sad, happy, disappointed, hurt and afraid, but in the end... I can't imagine living my life without you."
Lauren laid her head on Bo's shoulder, "I've had this dream... we're living on a houseboat on the far side of the Back Bay far away from anyone else. We start our day kayaking over to the school, waking up Maverick first with hugs and kisses before teaching our first classes... yours on the beginner surfing beach and mine at the emergency training facility. We have lunch with the kids in their dining hall and dinner with Kenzi and Tamsin most nights. On occasion, we have dinner with the Professor at the campground."
Bo lifted Lauren's chin to meet her own, "You actually have that dream?"
Lauren nodded, "And a few others... I just... lately... I was afraid you wouldn't want me... wouldn't want us."
"Because of how I acted towards you after I viewed the footage." Bo stated, rather than asked. She knew she had retreated into herself after that.
"You were so mad... I'd never seen you that mad." Lauren closed her eyes for a moment, "It scared me... not that I thought you would hurt me, but... well... I thought we were over... that you would never be able to forgive me or look at me again."
"I was an idiot and I'm sorry I reacted that way. Is that why you took the job?"
Lauren nodded, "It was a rash decision. I should have talked to you first... given you a chance to process what you had seen as Kenzi suggested. I just... Gods, Bo what have I done?"
Bo cupped Lauren's face, "What you had to do, Lauren. The space will make us stronger and if it doesn't, we don't deserve to be happy together. Now... make love to me?"
Lauren smiled, her lips moving slowly to claim Bo's. The feel of her lips gliding up and down over the soft flesh of the brunette's was a sensation she wanted to take with her to Colorado.
"I want to memorize every inch of your body, Bo... memorize every sound you make, the way you move with me and the way you sound when you come for me."
Lauren claimed one of Bo's nipples in her mouth as Bo began to ride her thigh, her core slick from the blonde's words and earlier touches.
"Lauren..." Bo looked down to watch the blonde's mouth, moving back and forth between her hard, wet nipples, "Your mouth is amazing."
The blonde's hands moved down to grip the brunette's ass, as the sounds of Bo's wet core sliding against the flesh of her thigh filled the room. Bo pushed the blonde down onto the bed, pressing her thigh between the blonde's legs before moving her arms to support her weight on either side of Lauren's body,
"Is this okay?" Bo asked.
Lauren allowed her legs to fall apart, pulling her shorts to the side so she could feel Bo's skin against her core, but then stopped suddenly, slipping her hips back away from Bo's before she spoke,
"I'm sorry, Bo... I don't think I want to do horny teenagers... I want to be a woman... a strong woman who can love you the way you deserve to be loved... I want to touch you... I want to see you... feel you... all of you. I don't want this rushed, horny thing to be our first and last time together after being apart physically for these last five months."
"Are you sure you want to do fully naked, Lauren?"
"I feel like this is what we need, Bo... we've bared everything else to each other... this is the only thing we haven't reopened."
Bo nodded as Lauren slid her fingers into the waistband of her shorts and worked them down her legs until she could push them off with her feet. Bo then worked Lauren's off before lying down on top of her. The brunette reached for the covers, but the blonde stopped her,
"Tell me if you get cold, but right now, I have no intention of hiding you beneath the covers... or beneath clothing. We have nothing to hide, Bo."
Lifting Bo's arms over her head to the metal bars above her she whispered,
"Hold on, baby." Lauren kissed her lips softly... thoroughly... releasing them only to kiss down her neck, along her collarbone and down her chest until her lips took her nipple into her mouth.
She lifted Bo's leg and wrapped it around her hip, her free hand moving between her legs and sliding through her very wet core.
"Mmmm... I love the feel of you, Bo." Lauren said, her eyes meeting Bo's as she slipped two fingers inside the brunette. Bo's mouth dropped open, her hands gripping the bedframe tightly in front of her.
"My beautiful, beautiful, Bo... you've been so patient, so caring, so kind and so understanding. It's time for me to do for you. I want you to feel me deep inside you, Bo... I want to fill you and know that you feel nothing but pleasure when you look at me. I don't want to be the source of pain for you... no more pain, Bo. I want you to feel loved, wanted, supported and trusted. I want you to know that when I get on that plane, I'll be thinking of you... I'll be hoping for you... for us. I don't want this to be the end... I hope with all my heart it's not the end."
Bo's eyes filled with tears, and Lauren kissed them away, "Don't cry, baby... I'm here now... stay with me... don't think about tomorrow... just be with me now."
She smiled up at the brunette who nodded and smiled back before she spoke, "I would have waited for us to be intimate, Lauren... I would've waited as long as you needed me to as long as I knew that I would get to feel your hands on me again. You're the only one who touches me this way. You're the only one I want to touch me."
Lauren added a finger, pumping in and out of Bo at an excruciatingly slow pace as she spoke,
"This is how you've touched me, Bo. You've treated me with love and respect. You've touched my body as if it was a treasure to be cherished. I want you to know what that feels like, Bo. I want you to know how I feel when I'm with you like this... how no one else ever made me feel... respected and loved."
Lauren quickened her pace, using her thumb on Bo's clit to give her all the pleasure she could. She leaned in, catching her lips in a sweet kiss as Bo moaned into her mouth, tongues dancing to fuel the connection between the two women.
Releasing her mouth, Lauren pulled back her eyes connecting with Bo's as her climax hit. Tears formed in both women's eyes as the pleasure rushed through the brunette's body until she collapsed onto Lauren's shoulder,
"I love you."
"I love you, Bo."
Bo rolled off of Lauren, her body barely on the bed and the blonde noticed immediately, "Shift closer, baby. I don't want you falling off the bed and hurting yourself. There will be no injuries this close to a competition."
Bo smirked, "You're just afraid of having to see Nick when I tell him I hurt my back having sex with my girlfriend... I mean..."
"Girlfriend, Bo. I'm not going to make love with you tonight and use any other label for our relationship. Earlier, you told me I need to be stronger for us... well... you're right. If we put our lives on hold, Nadia wins. I'm not going to let her have my life anymore."
Bo smiled, "That's my girl."
"Yes I am."
Lauren smiled, her hands roaming over Bo's chest, while her lips trailed closely behind. She slowly traveled down the brunette's body, her eyes never leaving the deep chocolate orbs that watched her every move.
Bo's fingers moved to Lauren's cheek as the blonde dipped between her legs, her mouth doing things that made the brunette's hips rise up off the bed as if they had a mind of their own. Lauren's tongue dipped and swirled, her eyes concentrating on the pleasure she gave to her lover, waiting to enter her until she arched into her climax and pressed her core towards Lauren to draw her in as deeply as she could.
As she caught her breath, the blonde kissed her way back up her body and settled into the crook of her neck, kissing along her jawline until Bo lowered her mouth to kiss her softly. When Lauren pulled away, she saw the tears in the brunette's eyes,
"Hey... are you okay?"
Bo nodded, "I think I'm just relieved... I've been so worried that we would never be here again and... well... here we are... I was so scared for you that night in Rio, Lauren."
The blonde nodded, "I was scared for me too. I'm not foolish enough to think that all of my fears and my quirks are going to go away just because we made love, but I feel empowered by the things I've figured out on my own in the past twenty four hours or so. If I cave in, Nadia wins and that is not acceptable... if I run without at least trying to keep some kind of hope for us, I give up something that has been the best experience of my life."
Bo reached up and grabbed the gold pendant hanging from Lauren's neck, "She's in prison, Lauren. She's never coming out. Next week Evony and Kristy will be on trial and they'll be in prison as well... I'm not sure how that's all going to pan out, but they've already been tried in Brazil... did Hale tell you about that?"
Lauren nodded, "Tried and convicted. All we're doing here is adding time on to their sentence. Brazil is insisting they serve their time in their prison for what happened in their country."
"Well, I have a problem right now." Bo said, her face serious.
"What's wrong?" Lauren asked.
"There's a beautiful blonde whose needs have not been tended to by her girlfriend because they are talking about three women who don't deserve our time."
Lauren laughed, "That is a problem."
Bo rolled Lauren over onto her back and came to lie next to her, leaning on her elbow. Her eyes roamed over her naked form,
"Lauren? Will you be okay if I touch you?"
The blonde nodded, "I know that I want you to, Bo. I really do. Just... please keep your eyes on mine? Don't let my mind stray from us..."
Bo leaned in and kissed the blonde, "I'm here, baby. It's just you and me. This is about us... together... moving forward even though we'll be apart. You're going to get stronger every day and so am I. This is not going to beat us."
She kissed her again, pouring all of the love and strength she had to give so she could somehow strengthen the bond that had been broken by the events that began and continued with Lauren's last night in Rio.
Bo broke the kiss and brought her hand up to support her head, her elbow settling in just above Lauren's shoulder.
"Watch my hand, Lauren... keep reminding yourself that this is Bo's hand... your lover's hand... the woman who respects, reveres, desires and loves your body, your heart, the very soul of who you are."
She kissed the blonde's lips once more, then allowed her fingertips to travel down over her shoulder, tracing her collarbone until it dipped into the center of her chest. She traced down between the strong muscles of her upper chest and smiled,
"You know, I have a picture from the games. Manny took it from the opposite end of the court with his ridiculously nice camera. It's of you putting a smash down the sideline in the finals. This muscle right here..." Bo kissed Lauren's upper chest muscle,
"Pectoralis Major." Lauren corrected with a smile.
"Well, you my dear friend Pectoralis Major..." Bo said, talking to muscle, "...Sure do know how to get your sexy on when you flex."
Lauren laughed as Bo's lips traveled down lower, kissing around the dark flesh of her breast,
"And you, my perky breasty friend..." Bo smiled at Lauren, before taking the nipple in her mouth and sucking gently, then lavishing it with her tongue, "... were sorely missed."
Lauren laughed again, "You missed the scrawny boobs?"
Bo smiled, "You have heard that size doesn't matter, right? More than a mouthful is a waste."
Lauren slipped her hand around Bo's to cup her breast, "Oh, I don't know about that... I like breasts that spill out of my hands."
"Mmmm... well... I just like your hands." Bo said as Lauren tipped her head to take the brunette's breast in her mouth.
Not to be outdone, Bo took Lauren's breast in her mouth, the two of them savoring the flesh of the other until Bo slid down Lauren's body, her eyes looking mischievous as she watched the blonde pout at the loss of her favorite toy,
"I've been robbed."
Bo smirked, "I'll make it up to you."
She moved lower, her face now serious as she traced the muscled lines of her lover's abdomen before her fingers moved to trace her hipbone. She watched as Lauren twisted under her touch,
"You haven't forgotten where my tickle spots are." The blonde giggled.
Bo smiled, "Of course not." She kissed the spot, swirling her tongue over the area while she gazed into her lover's big brown eyes. Moving up to lay beside her, she propped herself up on her elbow and pulled Lauren's leg up over her hip. She traced down the inside of her thigh until her hand found her center,
"Mmmm... you're so wet, Lauren."
The blonde closed her eyes, her hips rising up into Bo's touch.
"Lauren, eyes on me, baby. Stay with me. I want you to watch me touch you... I want you to know that every second of pleasure you feel, it's me touching you... caring for you... loving you."
"Bo..."
The brunette touched, stroked and cared for the blonde, her lips hovering just about hers, eyes locked as her arousal grew. She waited until Lauren asked her to enter her, making sure that everything was as she needed it. She was careful, gentle and tender every second that she touched her until the blonde's climax hit and she fell over the edge, never moving her eyes from Bo's.
Lauren's eyes immediately filled with tears. Wasting no time, Bo pulled her into a tender embrace, allowing her to release all of the emotions their separation and the multiple ordeals she'd endured had wrought.
"I'm right here, Lauren. I'm right here."
"Just hold me, Bo. Please hold me until I have to get on that damn plane."
"I'm never letting go, baby... even though there will be distance between us, I'll hold your heart and you will hold mine."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lauren rolled over, amazed that Bo wasn't wrapped around her. Opening her eyes, she reached for the brunette, but found nothing but a sheet. Sitting up, her eyes teared up when she saw she was alone in the room.
Her mind went into panic mode, thinking that Bo regretted what they'd done... that they'd moved too fast too soon. She sat up, hugging the sheet to her naked body, feeling betrayal and heartbreak. Had Bo lied to her? Had it all been lie? A payback for her leaving? Lauren heard the hotel room door open and looked up to see Bo coming into the room.
"Hello, lady lover." Bo smiled, pushing the pencil behind her ear, "I..."
Lauren dropped her head as tears streamed down her face. Bo stood shocked for a moment before she ran to her girlfriend,
"Lauren! What's wrong?" She wrapped her arms around the shivering woman and held her as she tried to explain.
"I... I thought... I was alone and... I thought... I thought you left..."
"Are we having a little crisis of faith here? A little trust struggle?" Bo said, pulling back and brushing the hair from her face. She thumbed away her tears, "I was awake and you were still sound asleep. I didn't want to wake you since we exhausted each other instead of taking a nap."
"Did you see Maverick and the Professor?"
"Oh, right... here." Bo produced a box from behind her back and offered it to Lauren, "We went to breakfast together and Maverick wanted me to give you this so you didn't have to get out of bed. He said you were sad and tired, so I should give you breakfast in bed... that way, you would like me again."
Lauren laughed, "Oh how I love that little boy."
"I know, right."
Lauren opened the box, "Wow, a whole plate. What is this?"
"Uncover it and you'll see. He knows you like to eat healthy, so I think he did pretty well."
"Eggs, bacon and... pancakes?"
"The pancakes are whole wheat and the cup has fruit in it. Like I said, he did okay."
Lauren smiled and nodded, "He did and I'm starving."
"Well, you eat, I'm going to shower."
"Nope... you sit with me while I eat and then we can shower together. I'm not spending a minute without you if I don't have to. What's the plan for the day?"
"Well, the boys just left to go to the pier to fish. When they get back, Maverick would like to go to the science museum and then surf."
"Sounds like a great way to spend our last day in Fiji." Lauren said taking another bite of her food, but her mood suddenly changed when she realized, "We're not flying back together, are we?"
Bo sat down in front of Lauren on the bed, "Well, about that... if you want to spend every minute we can together until you leave, I'm willing as long as you didn't change your mind about us somewhere between your mind-blowing orgasm and the end of your nap."
"You did give me an epic orgasm and no, I did not change my mind. So... you'll fly us all back together?"
Bo nodded, "Yes, Lauren. We will all fly back tomorrow morning with you. I just wish we had more time."
Lauren lowered her eyes, "I know, Bo but I'm scheduled to meet with the entire medical staff of our country's Olympic Training Center on Wednesday at three in the afternoon. I need move in time and orientation time before that happens."
Bo nodded, "I understand, Lauren? Listen, about what we said earlier. I don't think we should try to classify us... you know... put a label on us. I don't want to hold you back when we're apart. I do have hope for us and I hope you do as well, but I don't want you feeling like you can't do what you feel like..."
"Sweetie, please... I understand and I'd rather you didn't say anymore. Right now, I can't imagine going on a date with someone else let alone sleep with them. I just want us to do as we promised... one day at a time, be honest and open but stick to the rules."
Bo nodded, "Right... the rules. I really don't want to know if you go on a date with someone else and I especially don't want to know if you sleep with someone else."
"Well, I would have to be the most emotionally unstable woman on the planet to do either considering all we've said, felt and done with each other in these past few hours."
Bo nodded, "Well, just know that I don't want you to do whatever you need to do. I just... I don't want these last hours to confuse things... I mean... you made the choice to go... to make this move... I just... if you decide in the end that it's me you want, I really don't want you to be ten years into a relationship with me and decide that you need to go find yourself again. I don't think I could handle it again... not that this is going to be something that's easy for me right now."
"Bo, what's wrong?"
"The unknown... knowing what you feel right now while you're hear with me is the known... but what Colorado is going to add to your life that you absolutely love is the unknown." Bo paused for a moment and, realizing that the mood was becoming heavy, added, "I mean... what does a relationship between a surfer who needs to live on a beach and a snowboarder who needs to live on a snowcapped mountain look like, anyway?"
Lauren chuckled, "Sounds like two people who spend a lot of time sitting in mud while pouting over boards they can't ride."
"Well, I guess I'll have to spend some of my alone time figuring out a new sport called mudboard surfing."
Lauren smiled, "Or we could just call it BoBoarding."
"You should be working in my marketing department." Bo laughed, "I've seen those stick figures you can draw. They're killer."
Lauren laughed, "Yea, I'm sure the customers will come running over my stick figures riding boards through mud."
The pair were quiet again as Lauren resumed eating her breakfast. As she ate, she studied the look on the brunette's face as she gazed out the window of the hotel. She knew there was still something else troubling the brunette. She supposed the obvious was about their coming separation, but she wasn't sure and it bothered her.
"Bo? Is there something else on your mind? You still look... unsettled."
"I was just thinking about how long we might be apart. I mean, I'm assuming that your position is for the next four years and... well, a lot can happen in four years apart."
Lauren stood up, pulling the sheet from the bed to wrap around her. She leaned against Bo, laying her chin on her shoulder,
"Having a crisis of hope already?"
"Maybe just a bit of a reality check?"
"Why does our reality have to include our demise? I thought you were going to be our champion for hope." Lauren said, gripping both of Bo's shoulders and giving her a playful shake.
"Well, hope alone isn't going to do it. We have to be willing to keep working at us and with out schedules, the distance, the proximity of many hot, gay women to you at the training center... I guess I'm having more of a crisis of confidence. I mean, what do I have to offer that some other woman wouldn't? You'll have a lot in common with women striving to achieve their Olympic goals and you have to admit, you will be the object of their affection... gold medalist, technically single, the woman in charge – I mean, everyone likes a woman in charge and... well, you're a freaking doctor, Lauren... you're every mother's dream for her daughter."
"Oh, so you only love me for my medical degree? I mean, you told me about your Mom's demands about Kenzi and college, but I had no idea she'd wanted you to find a nice doctor to settle down with." Lauren laughed.
"Family of engineers, remember? They wanted me to settle down with a nice man with a nice set of calipers. When I hit my teens and finally admitted I was into girls, my Dad started pointing out all of the hot surfer girls on the beach. Talk about awkward."
"I'll bet." Lauren smiled, suddenly realizing Bo was going to be surrounded by hot surfer girls while she was in Colorado, "Speaking of who will be around me... what about those hot surfer girls?"
Bo made a gagging noise, "Oh gawd... it takes a lot more than a hot body to get this surfer girl."
Bo turned and pulled Lauren into her arms, "Well, we're wasting our day and I think I'm going to need more memories to last me four years."
Lauren nodded, "Bo, I won't make you wait four years."
"You don't know that, Lauren."
"I do, Bo... because I can't wait four years... and it wouldn't be fair to keep you waiting... not that I expect you to... but I think we either need to do this or move on with our lives. I think a little space and time will help us know which one it is for sure."
"I guess that makes sense." Bo caved. She was just too emotionally drained by the ache in her chest to talk about it anymore, "I guess what will be will be and time will tell... right now, what's supposed to be won't be if we don't get ourselves together and get out of this room."
"Very true. I need twenty minutes to shower and dress. Can you call Kenzi about moving the flights so you and Maverick are with us?"
Bo nodded as Lauren kissed her cheek and ran off to the bathroom, and then pulled out her cell phone to call her little sister.
"Hey Kenz."
"Hey yourself. What the hell happened last night?"
"Your sister reacted, went to a bar, met up with Sonjay and no, I did not sleep with her, Lauren found us... jumped to conclusions about where I'd been... I fixed that, we did a walk and talk on the beach... a real good talk... stayed together last night... I had breakfast with Mav and the Professor. Lauren's getting ready now and then we're going to meet up with them again."
"Uh... go back to the part where you stayed together last night?"
"I don't want to talk about it Kenzi."
"Bo, what are you doing?"
"Kenzi, I'm doing what my heart tells me I have to do in order to survive this, okay?"
"I want to smash her face in."
"Kenzi, it's okay... really. She loves me, I love her... we love each other but she's not in a healthy place right now, Kenz. I have to let her do this or I'll always be wondering if she settled for a life with me out of fear. I want to be her choice, not some sort of savior from the wreckage that is her life. I need her to heal and she clearly can't do that with me. I love Hale and Ciara, but they haven't been able to turn her around either."
"Okay, then. So your plan is to suffer for the next what... month... two... three?"
"Kenzi, I don't see her leaving the Olympic Training Center until the next Olympics, do you?"
"Wait... you're planning to wait for Lauren for four years?"
"Today, I can't imagine not doing that. Ask me again in a year. Now, what about our little incident with the storm?"
"The insurance covered everything, thank Poseidon."
"Good, good. I guess the better plan was a good investment then after all, eh?"
"Fine, fine... you were right."
Bo laughed, "I always am, little sis."
"Oh no you're not. Remember that time..."
"Okay, okay... I don't need the highlight reel of all of my life failures right now. So I'm wondering if you can do me a favor with the second return flights?"
"Bo, you can't keep Maverick out of school any longer. The other kids probably already think you're playing favorites and..."
"No, Kenz... we want to come back tomorrow with Lauren and the Professor."
"I thought you didn't want to be here for the big farewell." Kenzi asked.
"I changed my mind. There are clocks everywhere, so no matter when she leaves, I'm going to know she's on that plane. The bottom line is, it's going to hurt... no matter where I am, Kenz. I might as well be there... will you be home?"
"Of course... and Tamsin too... you'll have four shoulders to cry on."
"And have Hale on deck for Maverick. I think this is going to be hard on him."
"What makes you say that?"
"We talked this morning. He asked me if Lauren took the job. I told him he'd have to ask her what he was going to do, but he didn't buy it. He had already decided for himself that we were fighting because she was leaving."
"So what did you say?"
"I told him the truth, he cried, we talked, he cried some more. He's feeling like everyone he ever cares about leaves him. I reminded him that he still has me and the Professor."
"And me... don't forget me!" Kenzi yelled.
"About that... you know how Fiji still has newpaper boxes on the streets?"
"Shit." Was Kenzi's reply.
"Yea, the WSL announcement was on the front page. Surfing is big news here when the league is in town... congratulations, by the way."
"I'm not on the Olympic Team yet, BoBo. I'm just selected to be part of the training facility test group."
"All Maverick knows is that you're going to Colorado with Lauren."
"I'm not going anywhere with Lauren and I will be commuting. I have a job and the WSL has already told us they expect us to fulfill our contracts with our sponsors as well as compete in any and all competitions we are registered to attend."
"That's a lot of flights." Bo replied.
"Yea and they're paying for all of them, so I'll do what I have to do. Maverick's surfing is my top priority when I'm home, Bo. I'm going to be there to help him learn... Dennis style."
"I'm on board with that."
"I knew you would be."
"Okay, so you got those flights?"
"Two more seats on tomorrow's big silver bird, coming right up."
"You're the best, Kenzi."
"I know, BoBo. I know."
Bo laughed, hanging up the phone until she heard a voice behind her,
"You told Maverick?"
Bo turned around to see Lauren standing there, clearly upset by the news.
"He asked, I tried to dodge the question, he asked again and I told him. I won't lie to him, Lauren. Besides, I told you that you needed to have that conversation sooner rather than later. I'd have thought you would have told him on the plane ride here."
Lauren frowned, "I didn't want to upset him."
"Anyone he gets close to who leaves is going to upset him right now, Lauren. You know that, so how could you expect me to lie to him? Why would you keep it from him?"
Lauren nodded, "I understand. I'll talk to him today."
"No, not unless he brings it up, please. I want him to have a good day with you. Tomorrow, you can talk on the flight home and if you could let him know that you intend to have him visit to snowboard, that would be great... it will give him something to look forward to... as long as you promise to follow through on that."
"I promise, Bo... really."
"Okay, so... let's get going then?"
Lauren nodded, "I'll be dressed in a few minutes. My hair can air dry."
Bo nodded, "I'm going to go pull the car around. Meet me downstairs?"
"You aren't going to... sorry... go on then... I'll meet you there."
Lauren turned and walked back into the bathroom. Bo sighed and sat on the bed deciding to wait for the blonde. She was going for the car because she was upset about how the blonde had handled the Maverick situation. She needed to stop running every time she didn't like the way Lauren handled things. Not everything needed to be Bo's way. Five minutes later, Lauren came out in her underwear. Bo remained quiet, her eyes moving down when she realized she was gawking at the blonde's body.
"Thanks for waiting."
"Yea, well I decided that I needed to start doing that more often when I didn't agree with something you did. It's immature and controlling."
Lauren didn't reply, but instead slipped her feet into her flip-flops, "Okay. All set."
Bo smiled, "You look great. Let's go make some more memories."
Lauren smiled, "That sounds great."
