"You have never lied to me." Absence of the e-chip notwithstanding, Data was in full Disappointment Mode.
"I'm not lying to you now. I just… I can't tell you, okay? For very good reasons."
"C'mon Leo, the Federation isn't quite as accepting as Data." And neither am I, thought Geordi.
"Look, guys…" and for just a second Leo was assailed by her love for these two and its imperative to be truthful. In the end, her greater "mission" won out.
"What you know is all I can tell you. Get it?" She really didn't want them to believe she was jerking them around, hoping they knew her well enough to read the subtext. "I'm doing what I have to do or else I won't ever be able to live with myself. And keeping my mouth shut keeps you out of it. Get it?" She stared at her husband and her best friend-in-law. "GET IT?"
Data leaned forward, adjusting his interface parameters (unofficially of course) to deactivate both the force field of his wife's cell and the alarm that would alert security that it had been breached. "I believe I speak for both of us when I say we I 'get it'. But do you 'get' the finality of this decision? Will you be able to live with this as you have lived with your other difficult decisions?"
More was here to be lost, far more than anything she'd ever considered, and Data was perhaps the only one who both understood and was able to confront Leo with the reality. Perhaps it was the lack of the emotion chip that freed him, that freed them both.
Leo read Data as he had read her.
"It's not as if I have a choice, D. If I couldn't do this I couldn't live with myself," she repeated, adding, "I couldn't live with you." She hoped he could read the gut-deep, undeniable truth of it in her eyes.
He didn't disappoint her. "Agreed." Data turned to Geordi. "I do not believe we need to ask if you agree."
Geordi shook his head sadly. "No, you don't." And a moment later he reached for Leo's hand. "If nobody else ever understands this, and I'm not even sure I do, you know accept it anyway."
Leo took Geordi's hand and reached for Data's. "All for one and one for all, or something…" she shook her head and smiled a little lamely. "You'll accept what I won't ever explain. There must be a word for that somewhere."
"Friendship," Geordi offered.
Data added, "Faith." Data had urged her to it so often before it seemed obvious to express it.
Leo squeezed their hands.
"Love."
"Commander LaForge, you have confirmed the existence of the recently discovered communications between Lieutenant O'Reilly and the Cardassian Commander Gul Madred."
"I confirmed the Lieutenant's attempt to communicate with the former Gul Madred. The communication was rerouted to Commander Gul Lemec. Madred was demoted to Gil after his torture of Captain Picard failed to get any information." The last words were spoken with more than a little edge.
"Have you determined the substance of the communications, or their intention?"
"I haven't. I only know that they happened. Lieutenant O'Reilly was skilled enough in masking technologies to prevent any direct monitoring or recording of content."
"And despite the fact that the lieutenant is your close friend and colleague, and married to a fellow officer you describe as your best friend, you are telling this investigating body that she confided nothing regarding what she must have known would be a career-ending, if not a criminal, breach of Starfleet regulations?"
"No ma'am, she didn't." He read doubt on the faces of the panel members. "I'm not saying I didn't have any ideas of my own what she might have been doing. I'm saying she didn't tell me, not a word, and to be honest I wasn't entirely sure that it wasn't the stress of the situation putting things in my head."
"Knowing now what has happened, do you believe that perhaps there was some greater plan that was interrupted by Captain Picard's recovery? And perhaps she resigned her commission in an attempt to avoid further investigation?"
Geordi's response was so accurate even Leo herself found it hard to believe he hadn't discovered the truth. She forced herself not to react, terrified of undoing the "plausible deniability" that she'd worked so hard to maintain for everyone but herself.
"No ma'am, absolutely not. In fact deep down I believe the captain's recovery was the plan. Maybe Lieutenant O'Reilly thought she could discover something important from Captain Picard's captors, something nobody in Starfleet Medical would have any reason to look for. Or maybe she didn't know what she was doing, and realized in the end she had no way out but to resign. All I'm sure of is that Lieutenant O'Reilly would never knowingly endanger the Federation, or the Enterprise and its crew, for any reason personal or otherwise. It's just not possible. And as for career-ending, she seems to have covered that herself."
"And yet, Commander, if she had endangered the Federation, the result would have been the same whether she did it knowingly or not." The Starfleet investigator paused in seeming frustration. "The witness is dismissed."
The Starfleet officer serving as recorder consulted his PADD. "Will Lieutenant Commander Worf please come forward."
All senior officers of the Enterprise had been called to testify either on the basis of their service or friendship with Leo. All were mystified by the sudden totality of disregard Leo had shown for regulations and for Starfleet in general. It was as if the bank teller had suddenly robbed the vault. Even Deanna had only been able to testify to the inner turmoil she'd sensed. That Leo had refused all offered counseling sessions only confirmed the notion that she had been determined to keep her plans and reasons to herself. As Leo's husband Data had, naturally, been permitted to refuse questioning except to note that she had shared her plans not even with him. The fact of his absence during the entire episode, and the lack of communication between himself and Leo, rendered any other contribution moot. He had taken the conn of the Enterprise for the remainder of the board of inquiry hearings.
Worf was primarily recognized by the board of inquiry as Leo's fellow officer, and it could honestly be said that he and Leo had never been close friends or companions. Except for one occasion, Worf recognized that Leo had never sought nor offered advice or confidences. That one occasion was troubling, as Worf now believed he should have considered Leo's questions, and his response, more carefully. For her part, Leo was nagged by the fear that here was where she might have failed to effectively keep her own counsel.
The initial questions posed to Worf were identical to those the other officers had answered.
"Commander Worf, you have served with Lieutenant O'Reilly since her assignment to the Enterprise. Have you found her to be a reliable and professional crewmate?"
"I have. The lieutenant has always demonstrated effectiveness at her post and behaved honorably."
"And during the period of Captain Picard's incapacity, or at any other time, have you ever had reason to suspect that she might engage in a gross breach of regulations such as those that have convened this inquiry?"
"I have not."
"Then she never betrayed any intention to engage in such actions?"
Worf paused.
"Commander? Did she take you into her confidence regarding her plans to communicate with the Cardassians?"
"I do not believe that was the basis of our conversation."
"What conversation was that?"
Worf related the brief exchange that occurred in the turbolift, which brought the panel members to sharp attention. One of the senior admirals questioned Worf directly.
"Didn't you think Lieutenant O'Reilly's concerns regarding the supposed opposition of duty and honor might have indicated some intentions that could have been less than 'honorable'?"
Worf controlled himself with great effort, knowing that the concepts of honor and duty that he had discussed with Lieutenant O'Reilly were quite different than those this admiral proposed.
"No sir, I do not. I believed at the time, and I still believe, that the Lieutenant was disturbed by recent events. My long service with humans has shown me that they are known to question themselves and their beliefs when under great stress." The fact that Worf was a Klingon, and Klingons considered lies to be a sign of weakness, satisfied the admiral.
"Very well. Recorder, call the final witness."
"Acting Captain William T. Riker, please come forward."
As Leo's commanding officer, Riker was perched firmly in the crosshairs of the inquiry if only because of the eternal notion of final accountability. Leo was painfully aware of this as she sat watching the proceedings. He'd said nothing at all to her since her forbidden communication had been revealed except to call her to the ready room for the dual purpose of informing her of the successful re-design and implanting of the captain's mechanical heart and her transfer to custody on the Starbase below. At that time the look on his face had been unreadable.
"Captain Riker," the investigator began.
"Acting Captain," Will corrected.
"Acting Captain Riker," the Starfleet investigator continued patiently, "the board asks the same questions of you that it has of the other senior officers, though you may feel free to supply any additional knowledge of the Lieutenant's character and performance that you have been privy to as First Officer during Lieutenant O'Reilly's assignment to the Enterprise."
"I'm sorry to say I don't have anything more to offer regarding the Lieutenant's behavior than my fellow officers have had. During her tenure on the Enterprise, Lieutenant O'Reilly has occasionally shown an inclination to color outside the lines, if you will, but I also think that Starfleet Command is aware that this is a tendency many of us on the Enterprise share from time to time. Still… I'd never have expected this kind of thing from the Lieutenant, and I'm frankly clueless regarding the whys and wherefores. Don't get me wrong, I don't for a minute believe that the Lieutenant had any intention of betraying anything or anybody to the Cardassians… except maybe herself."
Leo managed not to squirm as Will looked hard at her, then back to the panel of high Starfleet officers. "The only theory that could even partly make sense has already been hinted at during the opening of the investigation… there's some sort of connection between Lieutenant O'Reilly's communication with Gul Lemec, and the captain's recovery, and the lieutenant's resignation of her commission. Begging the pardon of this distinguished panel, I'm damned if I know exactly what it is. I believe exactly what you've heard from everyone here that came before me, that Lieutenant O'Reilly and Gul Lemec himself are the only ones who really know what happened. I'm pretty sure that Gul Lemec won't be coming to testify anytime soon, and the Lieutenant's lips are obviously sealed."
"Thank you," the investigator cast about for an appropriate term of address and settled on, "Mr. Riker. If there's nothing else," with a wave of her hand she turned to the panel, the investigator motioned that Riker was free to go.
"If I could add something, please."
"Of course," the admiral who had questioned Worf invited.
"I'd be the last one to say that Lieutenant Leora O'Reilly is a sterling example of Starfleet Officer Material. Still I'd like to believe that whatever she did was for the best of her personal reasons, no matter how inexplicable to the rest of us." The panel waited expectantly for more, but there was none. "That's all. If you'll excuse me, I have to return to the Enterprise to see to the eventual transition of command once the captain has fully recovered."
"By all means."
Some conferring amongst the board of inquiry officers ensued, then the lead investigator announced, "Lieutenant O'Reilly, please come forward."
Leo took her place in the witness chair.
"As you know, the submission of your resignation has rendered moot the need for a court martial. However this board of inquiry is left to determine whether or not your actions were motivated by treasonous intentions toward Starfleet or the Federation. If it is determined that such was behind your actions, the matter will be turned over to a civilian Federation court for the consideration of appropriate charges. Do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am. I can only tell you again that my only interest was to get information that might help the captain."
"An attempt you claim failed, even though it was followed by transmission of key medical-technical information from an unidentified source."
"Can I ask the board, please, what difference does it make? The captain is recovering, and I'll soon be far away from Starfleet. So what possible difference could it make if he gave me some answer that you're imagining, or told me to go to hell like I said?"
"The difference is, Lieutenant, that this board is concerned with the possibility that if he had given you an answer, that Gul Lemec might have instead offered information that would guarantee the captain's death."
Leo rolled her eyes and blurted in exasperation, "Gul Lemec didn't want the captain dead." Damn! Me and my big goddamn mouth!
The investigator seized on this, of course. "And how did you know this?"
"Wild guess," then Leo covered her discomfort with attitude. "Besides, it couldn't have been any more guaranteed than Starfleet had managed already. I only did what you wouldn't do, and he couldn't have died twice." The shocked expressions of the board members encouraged her to continue. "You've read my statement of resignation. How can you have any doubt that I had so little faith in your intentions given your reluctance to 'embarrass' the Cardassians, that I knew somebody had to take the short way around or you'd be holding a memorial for Captain Picard instead of a kangaroo court for me?"
Geordi, Worf, and Riker exchanged quick looks. "In for a penny…" Geordi whispered to his companions.
The senior admiral regarded the PADD in his hand. "Yes, quite eloquent in its disdain, if I may excerpt: 'Starfleet's willingness to sacrifice every principle on the altar of its own hypocrisy makes me sick with impatience to leave its service. I can no longer pretend loyalty to an organization that demonstrates none. I most willingly resign my commission, and commend Starfleet on its ability to teach me an important lesson: that even centuries later, the military-industrial complex thrives with as great a gusto as in my time.' I must say, Lieutenant, your gift for insult is well-honed."
"I've been taught by masters, sir. I did what I did, and still the Federation lives on. And all I want now is out."
"Assuming the truth of a lack of treasonous malice might the panel know, Lieutenant, if your resignation were to be rejected and your fellow officers persuaded you to remain… is it fair to assume that under similar circumstances you would repeat the same actions?"
For the first time since the whole mess began, Leo spoke the whole truth.
"Clone me. I'll do it twice."
