Please Read and review. The next serval years will fly by. However she can not give to many details of her assignments in a Diary it could put her at risk.

Dislaimer Still do not own NCIS.

Thanks to all my readers and those who review you brighten my day:)


August 1 1994

I am on my way home back to Tel Aviv today. The last few months have been great. I really enjoy the Army and survival training was actually fun. I have learned many things about myself. One when in the army you do not live a kosher lifestyle. Two insects do not really taste that bad when you are hungry enough. Three I am very glad for my training in martial arts that dad insisted that we take when we were younger.

Tali has sent me several letters while I was in training. She has so far had three loves of her life this summer. I can not wait to tease her about this. Tomorrow we are meeting at La Masison Café in Tel Aviv. It is my favorite place to eat in Tel Aviv. Tali also loves it there, she is meeting me at noon. Hopefully it will not be to busy. I leave for my first assignment in three days however I can not reveal where that is at.


August 3 1994

Yesterday at 1219 in the afternoon, my little sister took her last breaths in my arms. I was running late due to talking on the phone to Ari. When I arrived at the La Masison Café the explosion had all ready happen. People were trying to help others and I ran to the area that Tali should have been waiting for me. Tali was lying on the ground, she was bleeding from her head and had bricks lying on her legs. Part of the building had landed on her lower body and she looked so hurt and broken. I saw several Mossad officers all ready looking for information on the bombing. I could tell from the location that the Hamas were to blame. This café was mainly used by the Jewish and they preferred to use suicide bombers as this had been.

When I saw Tali I went to her and grabbed her hand and begged her to talk to me. She was barely able to speak however she told me she loved me and not to forget her and not to get vengeance. Then Tali tried to take a breath and coughed and then started to struggle to breath and I swear this sounds strange she said Mama and smiled and died in my arms. Next thing I knew I was still sitting holding Tali when Officer Michel came up and told me I had to let her go. I did not want to let her go though. My baby sister the most caring non violent person in the world was taken by violence. I know Tali does not want me to get revenge, however I want that revenge. Hamas will pay for this somehow.

Ari arrived this morning for the funeral. He has tried to talk to me; however I am not able to speak back. I feel as though a piece of me is gone. I never imagined I could feel this way. Tali and I were not super close however she is gone and I will never be able to just call her or to tease her about her many boyfriends. Ari whispered to me that Tali's death would be revenged the person responsible for ordering the suicide bomber to the Café would be taken care of it. He then reminded me I needed to pull myself together and use the anger and hurt and vengeance I felt to protect others from this fate.

Father is sitting Shivah for Tali. I can barely look at him, however he is the one who is to offer comfort to those of us there to morn Tali.


August 5th 1994

Tali funeral was very large, I would guess over 500 people attended between friends and Mossad families. Tali was buried beside Mom and Grandma. I am so grateful that Ari was there he has been my strength. He has been very patient as I cried and has not said once crying is for the weak.

My leave was extended because of what happen to Tali. Marsi has to leave though and she left me a beautiful card and note to remind me to remain strong.

Ari confided he is worried about me being in the Army he reminded me to be careful. I promised him I will. Ari left this morning to go back to his internship in England in infectious disease. Too bad he can not find a cure for hatred.

Dad has barely spoken to me since Tali died. He did tell me he loved me though. I can not recall the last time that Dad said he loved me without me saying it first.


November 12th 1994

I am 21 today. Dad sent me a funny birthday card and sweater. His taste in clothing is not the best. Dad reminded me that I would have a job in Mossad as soon as I wanted. Next month Tali would have been 17. I still miss her. I have been training with the demolitions team. I have learned a lot about various destructive bombs. I have managed to keep it unknown that my sister had recently been killed by a suicide bomber. Though in Israel it seems everyone has lost someone to a bombing at one time or another.

Marsi reminds me to not hold in my anger about Tali, she said I need to find a way to release it that is not self destructive. Well, I started to go running in the morning I run to the east the same way that Tali is facing in her grave. I watch the sunset and remember how she loved to see the sunrise every morning. Tali had several painting she had done of various sunsets. My favorite was the sun setting in Paris on the River. She captured the sun but took artistic talent with where things were actually at.


January 3rd 1995

Ohhh boy, I thought the hang over with Ari was bad. This one was worse. We went out with a bunch of friends from the barracks to celebrate New Years. I must admit I was drinking more than usual because I did not want to think about Tali and her missing New Years. She always loved New Years and Chanukah.

I am still in Israel and we are going to deploy soon for our first mission. My team is made up of Marsi and I and 10 men and 2 other female soldiers.


March 23rd 1995

Our first mission was a success. I was able to disarm an explosive with no assistance and manage to save 10 civilian lives at least. Then we armed the bomb and gave it back to the Hamas coward who had planted it on the bus.

I actually feel good the first time in months since Tali had died. I feel I have done something to save others, Tali would have been proud of that, however she would have not been proud that we killed a man in turn for punishment.


June 20th 1995

I have just a year left to my commitment and dad is all ready wanting me to leave and join Mossad. I told him I want to finish this commitment; he is the one who taught me to always finish what you start.

Aunt Nettie has sent me several letters and reminds me how proud she is. She wants me to come to Paris for at least a month when I finish my commitment. I told her I will begin my terminal leave in May 1996 and will come see her then.

I am now stationed not far from Haifa one of the favorite places for people to be stationed. My team though is going to Gaza for the next 6 months. This will be the first time I have seen where Ari has grown up for part of his life. Ari said to not ask for or about him, because no one knows he is actually a David. I knew he went by his mother's last name, however I did not know he kept who his father was a secret. I am curious how he explained his trips to Tel Aviv and to France and boarding school.

I told Ari when I see him again next May he has lots of explaining to do.


Feb 1st 1996

Gaza was interesting. I can not understand why Dad would ever allow Ari to live there. It is violent and the poverty is horrible. The Muslims hate the Israeli army and the retaliation for anything was great. It is hard to believe that this area is so important that people will die for it.

I thought I saw Ari when I was there. However I could not be sure. However he was with an older woman at one of the hospital camps. The hospitals are under tents and set up for just the most immediate care. You see people of all ages there. It breask my heart to see young children there that have been hurt by various explosive devices laid by Hamas and Israel.

I must admit I am looking forward to the end of my commitment and joining Mosssad. I was informed that I have been accepted into Mossad and can start when my Duty end in June this year.


May 14th 1996

I am now on terminal leave and on my way to France to see Aunt Nettie. I am staying the next two weeks with her. She is so excited. She says she has some special things to share with me.

Aunt Nettie still has her ties with Mossad no matter what she says. I just hope my service in Mossad goes as well as her's. In Mossad most are dead by the age of 35 to 40. Those that make it beyond that become the Director and the other various high offices. I am curious why Aunt Nettie left Mossad maybe she will tell me now that I am about to enter Mossad.


May 29th 1996

Aunt Nettie and I had a wonderful visit. She laughed when I asked her why she left and wanted to know if I really thought she had left? I guess that was my answer. No one leaves Mossad you are always connected somehow.

Ari came and spent a few days with us in Paris. Together we went and purchased a flat in the 2nd district. He said this would be our own personal safe house. No one not even Mossad is to know about it. He put it in my name with him as second on the deed.

Ari told me to be careful and to remember he was also Mossad and if I ever needed anything to call him. Then he told me after I joined Metsada maybe we would work together one day. I asked him if he was in Metsada he just smiled and said one day I will know what he does.

I hated to leave Aunt Nettie however I start my training next week in Tel Aviv with Mossad. I know several other people who are joining at the same time. Marsi has decided to stay in the Army for one more year. I think she is going then get out and get married. She told me to be careful Mossad does not have a long life span.


November 12th 1996

My initial training for Mossad is in full swing. I was accepted into Metsada. I am very excited. I will be going deep under cover for the next year. My target will take sometime to get to however I will be able to accomplish my task. I am one of the younger Mossad officers at just 23 years old today. However that is what makes me the best candidate for this job.

This will be my first time to terminate a person. While I was in the Army my job was to prevent people from being hurt now my job is to prevent someone from hurting others by taking them out first.

I am leaving all my belongings here at home with Dad. My Star of David necklace is in my case that had been moms. When I return from this assignment then I can place it back on.

When I get back I will then explain everything. I just hope my Arabic is strong enough to pass. I met my team tomorrow and we leave immediately. Our control officer is Ben Silsterin.