Not sure if this needs a warning, but I'm putting one just in case. Drugs are mentioned briefly in this chapter, but only as a joke (when I say briefly, I mean like not-even-one-paragraph-long briefly. Nothing serious.)


"Dipper," a voice called and roused him from his sleep only slightly; "breakfast is ready." Humming his acknowledgement, he rolled over and squinted his eyes at his alarm clock; ten thirty. He shut his eyes again and let himself drift off once more.

He opened them again what felt like minutes later, but glanced at the clock again and found that it was ten minutes past twelve in the afternoon. He felt bile rise quickly in his throat and he leaned over the edge of his bed to throw up the contents of his stomach onto the floorboards. Eyes aching as he blinked, he groaned at the pounding that filled his head and the acidic taste that danced on his tongue – but he wasn't done yet; the vile taste brought another shot of vomit up from his stomach and he spat it out onto the floor immediately while cringing at the taste. His throat hurt from contracting so much, his nose was clogged but running at the same time and his eyelids drooped lazily despite his well-rested body. Pushing himself up weakly, he groaned as the headache worsened with his movement: "Mabel," he called, voice hoarse and cracking; so quiet he could barely hear himself. He stood from the bed and a wave of dizziness rushed over him, he almost fell back into his own vomit before he caught himself on the bed with an uncomfortable grunt: his bones felt stiff. "Grunkle Stan," he called again and coughed before wiping the snot that had started running from his nose.
"Dipper~" sang a familiar voice, followed by a loud thumping up the stairs. "Who's ready for a makeover?"
He groaned, "no, Mabel-" he tried to call back but could barely talk. He started coughing again, hunching over from the exertion and clutching his stomach. The door burst open and in the doorway was Mabel and her two friends, posing dramatically like heroes for a film. Mabel had her hands on her hips, a heroic smile gracing her lips and eyes locked on her brother. Candy was to her right, just behind her, holding mascara, lipstick, blush and other makeup. Grenda was to the left of Mabel, just behind her and next to Candy, and was waving around fashion magazines.
Mabel inhaled – probably to shout something about a makeover – before gagging and covering her nose, making a loud sound of disgust; Grenda and Candy covered their noses, too. "What is that smell?" Mabel asked. Taking in her brother's appearance as he coughed again, she saw the pile of vomit behind him and cringed. "Did you puke?" she asked him and he sniffed and nodded.
"I think I'm sick," he said.
"Oh no," Candy said, "now we can't have our sleepover or we'll get sick."
"That makes me wanna punch something!" Grenda shouted, punching a fist into her other palm.
"Ladies, ladies. Calm down, we can still have the sleepover," Mabel assured them happily. She turned to her twin and walked over to him. "You need to rest, bro-bro," she said and took a hold of his arm gently to help him get back into bed. "We can go to Candy or Grenda's for a sleepover. I'll go ask Soos to clear this up," she gestured to the bile on the floor as Dipper laid down on the soft mattress and she helped to tuck him in.
"Mabel is so caring and nice!" Grenda shouted abruptly.
"She would be a great mother," Candy agreed quietly and adjusted her glasses.
"Oh stop it," Mabel said jokingly. "Now who's ready to party?!" she cried excitedly. The trio cheered happily and ran back outside, the loud noises worsening the pounding in Dipper's head and he groaned from the discomfort before closing his eyes and snuggling up under the blanket.

"Jeeze, what are they screaming about? Did eight-ball show up and try to eat 'em or something?"
Dipper groaned again – more from annoyance than pain – and opened his eyes. "Bill, can't you come back another time?"
The demon put his hands on his hips, "what you don't wanna go find some monsters?"
The boy looked away from him and buried his head into his warm pillow, "I do, but I'm sick. I can't go anywhere like this. Let's go when I'm better," his voice was muffled by the soft fabric but the immortal heard still him.
"Sick? I've got the perfect thing for you! I just made a deal with some meat-puppet over in the United Kingdom who wanted this thing called 'speed.' I don't know what it does, but he was a lot happier after he took it, so why don't I get you some, too?"
"What?! No, Bill, I'm not going to take drugs!" The boy leaned up in shock and glared at the being.
"Drugs? So that's what it was! I figured it was like cat-nip but for humans," he laughed.
Dipper sighed, "no. Can't you just do your magic-y thing and make me better?"
"Oh yeah, course I can," he disappeared in a bright flash and the teen felt a familiar soft pressure in the back of his head, which he rested back on his pillow and closed his eyes again. Bill reappeared in front of the boy once more, looking significantly less cheerful than before. "On second thought, maybe not."
"What, why not?" the teen asked, squinting up at him and coughing.
"Turns out it's not just some pathetic disease that you fat-bags get, it's a curse."
"Who-" he coughed again, "cursed me? And why?"
"Aerico, and because he's a jerk."
"Who's that?"
"A demon. He gives humans diseases like the plague and malaria."
"W-what? Are you saying I have malaria? Or the plague? Could I die?" he panicked.
"Relax, Pine Tree. I think this sickness is going to your head; you aren't gonna die from the flu," he reached – literally – into his palm and pulled out his cane before poking at the boy's head lightly with it. "I said like malaria and plague. You don't have either, it's just the flu… for now. We should go deal with Aerico before it can get any worse."
"How bad can it get?" he wiped his nose on the back of his hand.
"Not too bad, maybe you'd get cancer? Explosive diarrhoea? Start throwing up bricks?"
"That's not how it works, and even if it did I'm pretty sure I'd die from all of those!"
He laughed, "kid, I'm a dream demon not a disease demon. You think I care? But seriously," he looked into Dipper's eyes, "I'm not gonna let you die."
"What're you gonna do?"
"We are gonna go find Aerico and make you better," he quipped happily.
"I already told you," he sniffed, "I can't go anywhere. I'm sick and I feel like I'm dying."
"Well I thought you'd want to be there so you can write in your journal, but if you don't…" he trailed off.
Dipper hesitated, "are you sure you can't make me any better?"
"I can try and make it less painful, but not entirely better. I'll get to it, then we can go," he disappeared again and the ache in the boy's mind intensified for a moment. He clutched his head and whined at the pain, curling into a small ball on the mattress with tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Just as the ache started to dull, it spiked again like a knife going through his brain – he yelped at the suddenness and curled into a tighter ball, arms wrapped around his knees and hugging them to his chest in desperation to lessen it. Bile started to rise in throat for the third time that day, and he forced his muscles to move so he could throw up on the floor; his bones ached and protested the movement weakly. He felt that he couldn't breathe and gasped for breath, "Bill," he muttered weakly.

Bill showed up again in front of him, looking annoyed about something or other. The suffocating feeling released the boy and he gulped down air desperately, panting and coughing. "I can't do anything. There's a barrier or something and I can't get through it without doing harm to you or maybe even killing you," the demon said. He spotted the new pile of vomit on the floor and spoke again: "Pine Tree, that's disgusting. At least have the courtesy to swallow your vomit so others don't have to see it."
"Ew no, that's disgusting," he argued.
"It came from your stomach anyway; it was food that you already ate so I don't see the problem."
"Can you just go and find that Aerico demon so I get better. Please?" he pleaded, leaning back in bed on his back. The pain had thankfully subsided into a dull, constant ache.
"Nope, we're both going. And you don't have a choice," he took control of the boy's limbs and pulled him up to stand beside the bed.
"Seriously?" he whined. "I'm still in my pyjamas," he then muttered.
"Yup," the teen's infamous blue and white cap was lifted into the air and placed on the boy's head. "Now, get walking or I'll make you, myself."
"Fine but this better not take long," he sniffed. Taking a single step forward, he lost balance and fell forward onto his hands and knees, dizziness overwhelming him and causing him to clutch at his head again.
"Wow, you are pathetic. C'mere, kid." He disappeared and the pressure in the back of Dipper's head appeared once more. His arms pushed him up onto his feet and a smile plastered onto his lips, "let's go, Pine Tree," he said and pulled on a pair of trainers. Standing up, he was just about to move when the door opened.

Soos walked in with various cleaning supplies in hand and a small smile on his face, the smell of vomit didn't seem to faze him when he greeted the boy: "Oh, hey hambone. You should probably be resting, Mabel asked me to come clear up the mess so you can go back to bed."
"Hey there, question mark!" Bill spoke through the boy.
"I mean, uh, hey Soos," Dipper quickly corrected but instantly regretted it when his throat started hurting and he coughed.
"Dude, you alright?" the man asked.
"Feeling better already," the demon lied, "I'm going out, don't look for me or else I'll put frog guts in your next meal- ok, bye~" he sang before quickly pushing past Soos and jogging down the stairs.

Once they'd reached the bottom, they bumped into a tall figure.
"Kid? I thought you were sick, why aren't you in bed?" Stan said.
"We're now going out," Bill said.
"What d'you mean 'we'? Mabel's at a sleep over, remember? Or is that sickness getting to you?"
"Yes- uh, yeah. Sorry, I'm going by myself then," Dipper quickly spoke, pushing past the pain.
"I don't know; your parents wouldn't want you going out when you're sick…" he said. "Good thing they're not here to know, knock yourself out." He patted the boy's back and walked away, letting him pass. Just as Bill was about to lead the teen's body outside, another tall figure rounded the corner and knocked them over onto the boy's behind. "Who now?" Bill said, clearly annoyed and looked up.
"Great Uncle Ford," the boy squeaked.
"Hey sixer," his hands were immediately slapped over his mouth.
The man hesitated and stared at him intently, as if studying for something. "Bill." It was a single word, a single name but held enough power to strike fear in the boy's body. He tensed before quickly taking control of his own body again and forcing himself to stand – albeit awkwardly without the use of one his hands - and running out of the shack, straight into the woods with one hand still covering his mouth.
'You know that Aerico is in the other direction, right, Pine Tree?' Bill thought after a minute of running in silence. 'Why are you still running?'
The boy started coughing again and tripped over a thick root in the ground. Landing on his hands and knees once more, he starting hacking loudly and panting as every muscle in his body ached and begged to be relieved from the constant movement. Bill moved his vessel back to lean on a nearby tree while the brunet continued coughing.

He quietened after a moment but his breathing was still laboured after having ran and with the addition of a blocked nose. Dipper closed his eyes and leaned back on the tree, thankful to have something to rest on – he closed his eyes and listened to the soothing nature around him. 'Alright, kid, get moving. We have further to go now that you decided to run this way,' Bill thought.
The teen hummed his acknowledgement, but clearly hadn't listened to the immortal's words and instead slumped further down the tree.
'Pine Tree,' he called again but got no answer. The boy had fallen asleep again. Bill released a sigh through the body and moved it himself, Dipper could rest his subconscious while he took them where they needed to go.

The demon walked for a few minutes in silence, enjoying the sight of the forest shying away from him. Deer would run in the opposite direction from him, gnomes would hide in groups behind trees while they muttered to each other about him, even the trees' branches seemed to cower and coil away from him. He loved it. After a few minutes, he made it back to the Mystery Shack and smiled at the sight of it. He walked past it, waving to Wendy when he saw her going into the gift shop.
"Hey, Dipper!" she called to him.
"Hey-a, Red!" he called back cheerfully. Once the girl had entered the building, another figure stepped out; one he recognised as Stanford Pines. He stopped and grinned when the man approached him at a steady pace.
"Dipper," Ford said.
"Hey, Sixer. Long time no see," Bill said and looked up the man that stood before him.
"Bill," he corrected himself. "What are doing in Dipper's body? Where is he?"
Bill knocked on the boy's head, "he's asleep so I decided I'd take over for a bit. So how have you been? What's it been now… ten years? Fifteen? I don't really keep track of your human time."
Ford ignored the attempt at small-talk. "Give Dipper his body back. Permanently. Get out of our lives for good, Bill."
"No can do, Sixer. See, Pine Tree 'n' I made a deal and we can't break it now. Besides, he's perfectly fine with me riding around in his head like this," he gestured to the teen's head as he spoke. "Pine Tree wants me around more than you like, he enjoys my company – deal with it."
"I said," Ford reached back under his coat, into the back pocket of his trousers warningly and Bill could just make out the handle of a gun. "Leave Dipper alone."
"Whoa, you're not planning on shooting Pine Tree, are y'? That's harsh!" the grin was still etched on his face. "Listen Sixer, don't go trying to mess with our deal." The smirk was wiped away in an instant, "I said it to Shooting Star, and I'll say it to you: mess with the deal and you'll regret it. Your entire family will regret it." Neither of them said anything for a long few moments so the demon spoke again with a new grin: "well, if that's all then we'll be going. It was nice seeing you again," he lifted Dipper's cap from his head in a manner of politeness. "See y' later, sixer." He turned the teen's body and started walking away, a moment later he heard Ford call behind him:
"I'm going to get rid of you, Bill. Whether Dipper sees it or not, you're evil and I'm going to find a way to stop you."
He chuckled quietly before calling back, without looking back: "I'd like to see y' try."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Consciousness returned to him slowly. He was welcomed to the waking world by the sight of lush greenery around him, slowly moving past him. It was then that he registered his moving limbs, "Bill?" he asked and yawned before clearing his throat.
"Afternoon, Pine Tree. Sleep well?" Bill asked, "haha, I'm kidding. I know you slept well, I made sure you had only the best dreams while you were out."
"You did…?"
"Of course. Anyways, it's a good thing you woke up 'cause we're almost there."
"Almost where?" he coughed and moved a hand to wipe his nose.
"Aerico. Remember him?"
"Oh yeah. So what are you gonna do when we see him?"
"Well that depends if we do see him. He has two forms, one is an unseen form that you meat-sacks can't see and the other is his human form. If we're lucky, we'll catch him in his human one."
"Can you see his unseen form?"
"Of course I can, I'm a demon. Which also means I can kill him when we find him."
"O-oh. That's not gonna be like it was yesterday is it? With the…"
"The siren? I don't know. Depends how bored I am and how annoying he gets."
"Why did he curse me in the first place?" the boy groaned, "what did I do to him?"
"Because he's a jerk. He never liked me so when he found out about our deal, he probably decided to come and mess with us," the demon growled.
"Why doesn't he like you?"
"It's a demon thing, you wouldn't get it. But he has way too much time on his hands if this is what he's deciding to do at the moment."
"Why is he even in the woods to begin with?"
"Because the woods are where jerks hang out, Pine Tree."
"But we come in here all the time…"
"You're the exception. Now be quiet, we're here."

There was a tall tree that stood out from the others. It was thin and its bark was much darker than the others surrounding it and filled with millions of cracks. The branches were thin and stripped of its leaves, which had fallen to the floor and were being stood on by a mysterious figure. Dipper decided instantly that he looked like a plague doctor from centuries ago: clad in a long black cloak that covered everything from his shoulders to his feet, a white leather mask was pulled over his head and gathered at the neck. Atop the head was a black top hat and on his face was a black mask. The mask had a long, bird-like beak and a pair of goggles allowed the being to see through the mask – but the glass of the goggles was white and couldn't be seen into from the outside. From the cracks around the glass and metal rings of the goggles leaked an ominous white liquid that ran down the mask. The demon didn't move an inch and didn't even appear to be breathing.

"Aery~" Bill sang the nickname, "Guess who it is~" the other demon said nothing so Bill continued: "That's right, it's me! And look, I brought my little Pine Tree along," he pointed to the vessel he was inhabiting. Aerico continued to stay silent. "Still don't talk much, do you?" Bill said, dropping the arms to his side lazily.
A sudden queasiness filled Dipper's stomach but the dream demon didn't notice. "Bill," the brunet spoke but was forced to stop when a sharp pain stabbed through his abdomen; he dropped onto his knees once more and started gagging involuntarily over the floor – he had nothing left to throw up after the long day.
"Pine Tree," he looked up with blurred vision and Bill was by his side, looking at him. His head was pounding again and felt like it might explode, every inch of his body was in agonizing pain, and he was unable to breathe through his running nose. Reaching up a shaky hand to wipe at the liquid pouring from his nostrils, he dropped it down again to stop himself from falling over and noticed the red on his hand.
Next to him, Bill was in his triangular form, seething and staring at the other demon. The human couldn't see the dream demon's large, red eye or the flame engulfing his entire shape, nor could he hear the dark, angered words that left the entity: "I'm going to kill you." Aerico still did nothing. "Sorry about this Pine Tree, but I'm gonna have to use you for a moment," he said and took the reins of the boy's body.

The pain dulled slightly, but enough for the brunet to focus on what was happening: Bill was moving his body and standing him up. He could sense the boiling, bubbling rage that belonged to the being but said nothing. A hand reached up to wipe away the blood that dripped from his nose and flick it onto the floor; the immortal then coughed once and spat out more of the metallic, red liquid onto the grass, looking at it in disgust and clear anger. Fists igniting in an azure flame, Bill shot a hateful glare at Aerico before storming toward the other in a steady, quick pace and lifting a fist back, ready to strike the other. The moment he brought the fist back, however, the other demon's form transformed into a black smoke that moved back into the cluster of trees, away from the duo. Bill chuckled darkly before gathering his strength in one arm and pushing the tree aside in one swift, easy motion, "a game of hide and seek?!" he shouted to Aerico, a crazed laugh accompanying the statement. "I'll play – ready or not, here comes Bill!" He pushed aside various trees easily, each one toppling over and pulling up roots. Wiping away more blood that had dripped from the boy's nose, he grinned briefly when his demonic eyes spotted the usually shape of Aerico's usually unseen form and spat out more blood. He dashed toward it instantly, fists still alight, and watched as the human form of the other demon came into existence: its claws were outstretched in a clear attempt to take him by surprise and do damage to Dipper's body. He stopped just before he could and instead wrapped his vessel's small hands around the other's wrists and burnt the demon, who recoiled instantly and sunk down. Aerico's body dripped down into a black puddle on the floor and he reappeared behind the duo, clawing at the boy's back viciously before he could turn around. Bill spun his body around and swept an arm out in an arc, the disease demon's form was knocked in the same direction by an invisible force and was knocked against a tree, knocking the big plant over. The other transformed back into a murky mist that travelled through the maze of trees once more, which the dream demon followed without hesitation. "Don't be such a coward, Aery," he laughed sarcastically, spitting the nickname bitterly. He was lead deeper into the forest for a moment before coming to a stop, having lost the other demon. Standing with his back against a tree – so Aerico couldn't sneak up on him – he scanned the area thoroughly, looking for the familiar black gas that only he could see. He caught sight of it quickly and held up a flaming palm. "Found you," he muttered more to himself, grinned and reached back his arm before launching a cerulean ball of hot fire toward the disease demon.

As soon as the ball hit its target, the shadowy gas burst into flames, too – it transformed back into its human form in an effort to stop the flames and probably searing pain. But it made no noise. I continued to switch forms desperately in hopes of extinguishing the demonic fire that licked at its body. Bill and Dipper stood for a long time, simply watching Aerico writhe in pain and desperation, staring in morbid fascination as the scene played out. After a long minute, the sizzling had stopped and its once human form was only a murky puddle on the floor. From the puddle scurried a small rat, coated in the grotesque substance that had been the demon. Bill moved the boy's body forward and stamped violently on the rat's fragile body. It squeaked in pain before dying.
"Well, that was fun," he grinned. The brunet's teeth were red and drenched in blood, and more of the red liquid dripped from his nose.
"Bill…" Dipper muttered weakly and it was only then that the immortal noticed how dangerously slow the heart rate was. As soon as the demon gave back control of the body, it collapsed onto the floor, eyes fluttering shut.
"Oh Pine Tree, look at the mess I made of you," he snapped his fingers and a golden line of magic wove around the teen's body, bringing him back from his near-death state almost instantly. "Can't have you dying just yet," he muttered to himself. Floating closer to Dipper, he spoke: "C'mon, kid. You've been sleeping all day and you're perfectly healthy now, so you have no reason to be asleep. Wake up." He glanced over the human's body and couldn't help but think that the boy looked much better bloody than not – but what human didn't? It certainly made things much more interesting. "Maybe I should go around killing things in your body more often," he laughed.
Dipper hummed and his eyes flickered open softly. Sitting up and rubbing his head, he said: "it's over now, right? I'm not gonna die or anything?"
"Nope."
"Good," he glanced down and noticed his own bloodied clothes, "seriously? How did you end up getting blood on my pyjamas? It's so gross."
The demon laughed, "I think it suits you."
"It doesn't, it's disgusting. Now can I go back to the shack? I'm starving and I wanna get this horrible taste of puke out of my mouth," he grimaced.
"Sure thing, Pine Tree," he took the other's hand and teleported them back to the shack.

"See you tomorrow, kid," he said and disappeared.
"Bye," he spoke before walking into the gift shop. "Hey Wendy," he greeted when he saw her.
"Hey, man. You okay?" she put down the magazine she'd been reading and looked at him with her usual relaxed smile – however the smile was wiped away when she took in his appearance: "whoa, dude. What happened, are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine, it's nothing," he said.
"You sure, man? Blood is never a good thing."
"Yeah, I'm okay. I should go change into something clean though."
"Alright, if you say so. Are you feeling better today, by the way? Yesterday you seemed pretty out of it."
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had an argument with Mabel and wasn't too happy…"
"Hey, it's fine. I get it, me and my bros argue all the time. But we always settle it with an arm-wrestle. Bet you can guess who always wins those arguments," she joked.
He laughed before saying goodbye and heading upstairs to change.


Aerico on Wikipedia: wiki/Aerico
Bad annotations for Aerico: art/Aerico-598422555

Thanks to the person who requested this. I feel a bit bad for liking this chapter so much, just because Dipper is in so much pain throughout it xD.
Also, I want to say thanks to all of you who review on so many of my chapters! You know who you are! Most of you are guests, so I can't reply to your comments in a PM, and I really wish I could because I don't like replying in A/Ns like some authors. If you get a FF account, I will definitely reply to all reviews though ;D

Also, I wanted to say about the whole 'Bipper' scenario. I'm getting a lot of mixed reviews where some people are like: "Sail the ship forever, it shall not sink!" (something like that...) and then others are like "Fire the cannons! We must sink the SMS Bipper as soon as possible!" (Great metaphor, I know.) But I'm not sure what to do anymore. I don't have a preference so please don't say I should do what I want to do. I want to do what makes you all happy, because when you're happy, I'm happy :D (Cheesiest thing I've ever said.)

And here is a little rant about the mess that is me. I was reading over the plan for this chapter - the one I wrote before this chapter was fully written like this - and thought: 'what the hell is wrong with me?' I wish I could show you the stuff I write for my plan, I'm not sure if you'd all find it funny or worrying or whatever. I don't even know how I make a plan from it... In fact, I think I'll make this A/N 358 words longer and just copy and paste my plan here. Here you go: It's like meme plans and bad spelling:


So basically, Dipper is going to wake up ill – with a flu or something, I don't know – and it turns out that Aerico is behind it. That son of a… (Except he's in his unseen form, not the human one.) Soon, Bill shows up for one of their daily adventures and Dipper's like: "Yo dawg, too ill. Can't venture the G to the Fs today, so let's does it tomoz, yeah bruh?"

But then Bill is all like: "Nah, m8. I no wot is happenin' here, it's that famalam of a demon. He's around here somewhere, I'll go find that son of a Bieber and make him take ur ill away."
Dipper's like: "much grammar, such good." Cause lol, yolo.
Bill is gon be like: "IKR, LOL. (yes in caps haha) anyways Palm Tree, I has this gr8 thing for u to drink, it'll make you not as ill so we can go find Aerico. It's called heroine!"
"Lol no," Dippy Not-So-Fresh is gon say.
"Jk, here ya go, coconut tree. I'll posess u so we can go find ze demon togethers like real fam" lliB hehpiC would say.
And Dipz wud agree just for plot. Idk if Mabel is gonna go, I have not decided yet.
So our favourite Tree boy and illuminati-overlord Bill are gonna go look for our best buddy Aerico – whose name is faboosh – and Billy gon be like "you make Dipsy ill, you make me ill- and I'm bout to puke tiny little doritos all over your weird human body!"
Then Aerico can be like: "Haha, I can't talk," so really just stay silent and look like an idiot. But he'll be like "WINGARDIO LEVIOSAAAA" and make Dipsalooloo be sick.
Bill's gon get extra, super, mega, really, extremely peed off nd be like "YOU SHALL NOT PASS, DAWG!" and he kills Aerico. Or maybe just throw him into the volcano from whence he came or whatever, or maybe he'll banish him into Ford's portal. Does that still work? Meh, I don't care. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. In the end, Dipper gets better. That's all.


Yes, that's the real plan I wrote for this chapter. I feel like I could make some terrible parody series of this fic and of the series just by uploading my plans as stories. This is officially the longest A/N ever for me. Sorry!

Thanks for reading. Please review, favourite, etc. if you liked this chapter! Thanks ;D