Title: A Defense Problem

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place during Harry's third year. There's an accident during Defense Against the Dark Arts that causes Hermione to become pregnant with Remus child. How in the name of Merlin did this happen and why is Snape laughing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rowling's characters and I'm making no money.

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A/N: Once again, would like to thank you for your reviews. They have been such a joy in reading. I have to warn you that this might not be a long chapter.

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Chapter 11: Going Baby Shopping

"So, you won," Ginny said when Hermione had fully recovered from the whole thing.

"Yes," Hermione said, grinning," That Lavender bitch is now rotting in Azkaban."

"Glad to hear that," Ginny said, "Didn't think that this would ever end. Oh, Harry has gotten permission to go to Hogsmead to get you some things. Of course the others just had to go and I heard their dragging Snape along."

"I don't know why?" Ron said, "He's not going to get anything worth having to those three."

"I think it's a great idea," Hermione said. "Might help him realize that he needs to have contact with the outside world."

Ginny laughed at Hermione's comment.

So during the next Hogsmead visit a whole group of people left the castle and headed to Hogsmead. Since Peter had been found the Dementors were gone and so Hermione didn't have to worry about one of them trying to suck her soul out.

"So where are we going?" Hermione asked.

"Tiny Wizards," McGonagall answered, "All your baby needs in one cute store."

"I think I'm about to vomit," Snape said.

"Hay, your going to be the third godfather, so don't complain," Hermione told him, in a tone that reminded many of Mrs. Weasley.

"And who is one and two?"

"Guess," Hermione answered.

"Oh great Potter and Weasley," Snape moaned.

"You better believe it, pal," Hermione said and they entered Hogsmead.

The shop was outside the other stores that students normally went to. Hermione saw the exciting look on Harry's face when he saw all the places that she had gone to during her first Hogsmead visit. When they entered the shop they were at once greeted by a smiling woman. When she spotted McGonagall she said, "Minerva, what a pleasure to see you again. It's been too long."

"I agree, Sarah," McGonagall said, "We're here to shop for baby clothes."

"Well then you've come to the right place," she said, "Which female is the expecting mommy?"

"That would be me," Hermione said.

"My, my, their getting younger," she said.

"Take that thinking right out of your head," McGonagall snapped, "This is Hermione Granger or have you not been following the Daily Prophet?"

"Oh, your Hermione Granger," she said, "Sorry, thought you were like all the other girls that are around here. Well, lets get you looking at clothes."

"Thanks for the save," Hermione said to McGonagall.

"No problem, dear," McGonagall said.

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Snape was not having a good day. All around him it was a fest of giggling females looking at things that shouldn't be allowed to be sold. Potter just threw things in, thinking this was cute or that was cute. A sheep should not be singing annoying baby wizard songs. It's not legal!

"I know how you feel, Severus," Lupin said.

"When this is done I'm going to the bar to become a man again," Snape told him and Lupin laughed.

When McGonagall said the magic words 'Where done.' Snape wanted to bolt but he was force to carry the bags. Potter was carrying several cribs, which had been enchanted to stick together until they got them back to Hogwarts. The women were chatting about how fun the whole thing had been. Snape grumbled.

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"Do you think that Snape liked the trip?" Hermione asked Harry as he worked on the cribs.

"He looked like he was about ready to bolt," Harry answered, "Give me that thing that's on the table."

Hermione found it and handed it to Harry.

"Well I was glad to have all the men to help," Hermione said, "Gods; I can't wait until these things come out. Brown should have been charged with abuse of my body on top of the other stuff."

"I don't think the Ministry considered your age abuse on your body."

"Well they should change the rules," Hermione told him.

"True, true," Harry said.

The door opened and in came Sirius, looking totally dumb with a large lion, and a bottle of something.

"I'm here to remove all the Snape germs," he said.

"Oh shut up," Hermione snapped. "But thanks for the lion."

"Need any help in decorating?" he asked.

"No," Harry answered, "But we'll tell you when we need your help."

He got up and slid the mattress into place.

"Will it hold the monster?" Sirius asked.

"Are you calling my babies monsters?" Hermione asked.

"No, but if you got pregnant by Snape I would call them mini-snakes."

"And I would cut your privates off," Hermione snapped.

"Oh please, let me see this," said Snape and they saw him in the doorway.

"Got back from feeling like a man again?" Hermione asked, "Remus, told me that you had said that while we were in cutesy land."

"I'm not answering that," Snape said.

"I'm going to spray this in his face, get rid of the nasty Snape-."

"Shut up, Sirius," Harry and Hermione said at the same time. "Now, I need to get the others set up."

"Mitsy," Hermione called out.

The tiny elf appeared. "Yes, Mistress."

"I need gumbo," she told her. "And some crayfish, I heard they came into season."

"I'll get them right away," Mitsy said and she vanished.

"Still having those cravings?"

"Are you still here?" Hermione asked him.

"Yes," Sirius answered.

"Then there's your answer," Hermione said and then her food arrived.

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Votes for Boys and Girl

William: 10

Romulus: 11

Lily: 3

Tala: 2

Celina: 1

Tasha: 2

Tate: 5

Raoul: 2

Conan: 1

Connor: 9

Accalia: 1

Selene: 12

Alexander: 7

John: 1

Brian: 1

Michael: 1

Rose: 4

Jessica: 1

Lila: 2

Elizabeth: 3