Sorry for such a dark chap but it a good challenge to write...especially Usui's which will be in the future chap. It really made me think...

Chapter 11: Face your fears

Today was another day that seniors were exempt from regular classes. The seniors including the boys were sent to the auditorium. Everyone sat in the comfy seats wondering what was happening.

Misaki loved how any day could have a curve ball thrown in. Her heart sped up just thinking about all the possibilities.

Miss Bates was standing on the stage with the Headmistress as well as a bunch of women in lab coats. They seemed to be talking quietly but no one could hear them anyways. The rest of the students were talking loudly.

Headmistress picked up the microphone and tapped on a couple times. "Students..." she said in her serious tone. The auditorium immediately hushed. Misaki turned her attention to the podium. Headmistress smoothed her skirt and cleared her throat to get everyone's attention.

"Today we have a special event for the seniors. This will not only benefit you as a spy but even as an everyday person. We have been working on the equipment for this simulation for years and now it has been perfected. Miss Bates will now introduce the simulation"

Miss Bates was wearing a short black dress with a large white belt over it. Heeled boots made her walk echo in the room. Her fiery hair was loose and curly.

"What is fear? La peur? Paura? Angst?" she asked in different languages. She paused for a moment to let everyone start to worry. Misaki suspected they were going to try and scare the crap out of everyone.

"An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat...according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary" Miss Bates recited. "Everyone in this world fears something..." Miss Bates smirked. "Even I am afraid at times. But what do we do with this fear? Most people would cower and run from it but we are not most people! We need to face our fears. We must confront them. I prefer to refer to fear as the monster within. We might not be able to kill this monster inside of us but we will not submit to it. It is not our master! We do not beck to its every call and whim. We learn to fight it just as we have learned to fight our enemies!"

Everyone in the gym applauded for Miss Bates speech but it was half hearted. Everyone was beginning to think over their fears and wonder what was going to happen to them...

A woman in a white lab coat took the microphone. "We have perfected a machine. A machine that will lay out all your greatest fears in a simulation. It will be a war in your own head."

Everyone gasped. "Oh no..." Sakura muttered. Misaki squeezed her friends' hands.

"Misaki, are you afraid of things?" Shizuko asked.

Misaki nodded. "Isn't everyone?"

"It just seems unlike you..." Sakura said. "You are always so brave."

Misaki laughed nervously. This simulation did not sound fun though Misaki was curious to how it was going to show her all her fears.

"We will be going to alphabetical order, ten at a time," Headmistress announced. "The systems are set up in the classroom in the west hall."

"Looks like I'll be going in the first group..." Misaki said, wringing her hands together.

Headmistress called off the first ten people. Indeed Misaki was in the first group.

"Good luck," Usui said patting her on the head.

"Gah!" Misaki exclaimed. "Where'd you come from?!"

Usui chuckled. "I am curious to what you're scared of..."

"Touche..." Misaki said. "Are you scared of anything?"

"We'll see..." he said.

Misaki rolled her eyes and headed to the classroom. The chairs and desks were all gone. Black paper covered the walls. A dentist looking chair was in the center with machines all around it.

"Hi, you must be Misaki Ayuzawa" a lady said, shaking Misaki's hand.

Misaki smiled and nodded. The lady led her to the chair and Misaki sat down. The lady offered Misaki a plastic cup.

"Drink," she said.

"What is this?" Misaki asked.

"The simulation liquid..." the lady explained. "It will help to trigger memories and help the machine detect your fears"

Misaki swallowed. "How is the simulation even going to work?"

The lady sighed. "Its a little hard to explain. Its best to just show you..."

Misaki nodded and drank the liquid. It tasted sweet like honey. The lady stuck a bunch of plastic circles on Misaki's chest and fitted a headband around her head.

"You'll start to feel sleepy..." the lady told her. "But just relax..."

Misaki wandered around a dark room. A stream of fire spat out to her right. Misaki stumbled to the left. Another flame lit out to her left. Misaki looked around trying to find an exit. It felt awful hot in the burning room.

"No!" Misaki screamed as the walls moved in. The flames moved closer and closer. "Let me out!" Misaki yelled. Her hands furiously searched for a way out. Her hands pressed against a space of empty darkness and she fell through.

Misaki found herself running along side several of her classmates at school. She was wearing a high tech spy suit and a gun was in her hands.

"Misaki, what's the plan?!"

"What plan?!" Misaki asked. She looked around. Gunshots were heard behind her and her teammates were covered in injuries. Her own clothes were torn and stained.

"You're the leader!" a girl shrieked. Blood was dripping down her face. "You have to tell us what to do about this mission?"

Misaki felt so confused. How on earth did she end up leading a mission? Did she graduate yet? Her memories all seemed so fuzzy. Misaki found herself unable to remember anything except the present.

"What are we doing?" she asked, panicking. There were people depending on her and she had no idea what was going on.

"We already lost half our team!"

"Misaki, please just abort already!"

"We're all dying!"

Misaki felt her throat tighten. Her mouth was completely dry. "Uhh...ABORT MISSION!" she screamed. Misaki didn't know what else to do. What was happening?!

The girl next to her was shot. The sound blared through the air.

"You were too late!" someone yelled.

"Why didn't you abort earlier?!"

Misaki froze. Was this all her fault? How could a mission have gone this badly? Everywhere she looked there were stains of blood and the sound of gunshots never stopped. One after the other, the sound rang in Misaki's head. Misaki sprinted to a door and threw it open...

The rundown place dissolved into a cemetery. A heavy fog crept along the ground and everyone was crying. They were hugging and wailing.

Misaki stared at the ten caskets that were being lowered into the ground. Each one had a wreath of flowers on the top as well as a Grace Marshall flag. These people were from the IA...they died on a mission. They were being buried with honors.

"Why!" a woman cried. "Why did you join the IA?! Sakura, how could you die such a horrible death?! Your body's not even in one piece..."

Misaki jerked back. Sakura was dead?! Misaki broke away from the group and read all the gravestones. Each one was engraved with a girl's name that she knew. These people went to the academy with her. She saw them in class everyday!

"No!" Misaki cried when her hand touched the gravestone that etched "Sakura Hanazono" and "Shizuko Kaga" "How did this happen?!" Misaki gasped.

Why were her best friends dead?! How did they die on a mission? What was going on?

"Misaki Ayuzawa..." Sakura's mom spat. "You did this!"

Misaki took a step back. "I don't understand..." she whimpered.

Many people faced her. Each with dark expressions and hateful eyes.

"You led this mission..." Sakura's mom said angrily. "You led all ten of them to their graves! Why did the IA trust you?!"

"You killed my daughter!"

"Give me my daughter's body!"

"You FAILURE of a spy..."

Misaki thought her heart was going to explode from pain. She stared in horror as everyone chanted for her to take responsibility for her actions.

"I put all these people in their graves..." Misaki whispered. Her breath hitched into soft cries. This was probably her worst fear in the world. Misaki shook her head. No... Misaki couldn't believe what a mess she made. It was her fault that so many people died. The IA clearly had made a mistake with her...

The world seemed to swirl. Misaki covered her face as a sob wracked her body.

"I'm sorry!" she screamed at the people. "I didn't know! I- I..."

Misaki heard them all walk away in disgust. "Don't leave me here..." she gasped, looking around. She was alone in a cemetery...

A ghostly hand reached out for her and Misaki screamed on the top of her lungs. She was sprinting to the opposite direction only to be met with more ghostly faces. Their faces loomed around her.

"Stay away!" Misaki shrieked. She tried to pushed them away but they only floated closer.

"Misaki!" a familiar voice called.

"Suzana...?" Misaki called back.

"MISAKI! HELP!"

Misaki was running toward that direction immediately. "Suzana?!" she kept calling. "Where are you?!"

Misaki stopped in her tracks when she saw a witch like woman held her sister. This was a storybook character that Misaki had feared as a child. To this day Misaki didn't like to think about her.

"Misaki, save me!" Suzana cried out.

Misaki felt herself shaking. This was her sister...but this was also her childhood fear.

"Oneechan!" Suzana screamed.

Misaki was running toward her. "Get away from her!" she yelled. Misaki grabbed a stick off the ground and held it like a baseball bat. "Suzana, don't be afraid..." Misaki said in a shaky voice. "Move!" she screamed. Misaki took a swing at the witch but she dragged Suzana back. Misaki tightened her grip on the stick.

"I am not afraid!" Misaki yelled. "For my sister...I will kill you!"

The witch dropped Suzana and disappeared. Misaki rushed to hug her sister. Her hands smoothed her sister's hair. Misaki's hands were ice cold and slick with sweat.

The graveyard disappeared and Misaki recognized her home. Everything was just the way she remembered. Her mom sat at the kitchen table with that familiar blank expression on her face. A closed photo album laid on the table with a bottle of wine. Misaki was way too familiar with that setting...

Metal creaked and Misaki realized she was chained to the floor. Misaki tried to move her legs but they were glued to the floorboards.

"Misaki...It hurts..." Suzana whimpered. Misaki looked down and screamed. Suzana had a huge blood stain on her stomach.

Misaki pulled off her jacket and pressed it to the wound. "Mom!" she screamed. "Get help!"

Her mom continued to stare off into the distance.

"Mom!" Misaki hollered. "Suzana is hurt! We need an ambulance! Mom, your own daughter is hurt! Please get help..." Misaki cried. "I'm begging you! I can't get up! Suzana needs you..."

Misaki froze. "Suzana needs you!" echoed in the room. Misaki use to say this to her mom all the time. Those days where her mom ignored both her daughters...

"If you let Suzana die...I'll hate you forever!" Misaki screamed. "Suzana..." she gasped, shaking her sister whose eyes were closed now. "Suzana?!" she screamed. Misaki put a trembling two fingers under her sister's nose.

"She's not breathing!" Misaki shrieked. Losing her sister...no pain in the world could compare. "Mom!" Misaki tried again. "Please get help! Suzana isn't breathing!"

Misaki heard the chains snap. She scrambled to her feet. "I'll get help!" she called behind her shoulder. Misaki shoved open the door but was forced to stop. The porch didn't lead to the familiar sidewalk... Instead there was a vast canyon. From the porch to the ground below was hundreds of feet.

"Is anyone out there?!" Misaki called. "We need medical help here!" she yelled into the empty space. She was only met with echoes of her own desperate pleas.

"Misaki..." a low voice said. Misaki turned.

"Dad!" she yelled. Her dad was leaning against the porch railing. He wore a familiar leather jacket and sported a scar on his cheek.

"Oh thank God you're here. Suzana is dying. She has an injury on her stomach and she's not even breathing! We have to get her to a hospital!" Misaki said in one breath.

Misaki's dad nodded. "I got a zipline set up," he said. "I'll take you across the canyon."

Misaki let out a sigh of relief. "We have to hurry," she told her dad.

"Wait Misaki!" another voice called.

"Usui?" Misaki asked. What was Usui doing on her porch?

"Don't go with him!" Usui said in a panicked voice.

"Why?" Misaki asked.

"He let you down once..." Usui said in his soft voice. "You can't trust him again. I'll take you across...I promise not to fail you"

"Misaki!" her dad yelled. "I know I messed up so many years ago but I'm back now, aren't I? I care for Suzana just as much as you do! She is my daughter and I want to help her."

Misaki glanced from one face to the other. Her head whipped from side to side.

"Misaki!" both of them kept yelling.

Misaki couldn't even think straight anymore.

"I love you and Suzana. Why do you think I tried so hard to come back?" her dad added.

Misaki felt tears well up in her eyes. Her dad held out his hand. "Trust me, Misaki..." he said in a grave tone. "I am your dad...I love you"

Misaki swallowed her fear and took his hand. Her dad squeezed her hand and pulled her off the porch and through the air.

Misaki's heart was pounding so hard it hurt. She was trusting someone else to get her across this vast canyon. She was depending on her dad to save Suzana.

The zipline slowed to a stop. Misaki's eyes widened in fear as she looked up. "What's wrong?!" she exclaimed.

Her dad sighed. "I can't go on..." he wheezed.

Misaki's heart practically stopped. "What do you mean you can't go on?! We're dangling over a canyon!"

Her dad sighed. "I'm sorry, Misaki. I let you down again"

Misaki watched in horror as her dad let go of her hand. "AHHH!" she screamed as she plummeted through the air, downwards.

Misaki jerked up, gasping. She was in a bright room with machines around her. Her amber eyes flitted from side to side.

"You're done" a kind voice said.

Misaki saw the lady sitting in a chair beside her. Misaki was still gasping for air as the lady took off the headband and plastic circles.

Misaki's trembling hands reached up to button up her blouse but her clumsy fingers couldn't make the buttons match up with the hole. Misaki felt really nauseous. She immediately grabbed the trash can next to her and threw up.

The lady rubbed her back and got her a glass of water. "It okay," she said. "Some people don't react well to the simulation liquid. Just get it out of your system"

Misaki spit into the trashcan and rinsed out her mouth. "Could you see what I was doing?" Misaki asked.

The lady shook her head. "Its not that high tech yet. We can piece together some bits and pieces but only you know what your fears are..."

Misaki nodded. "I forgot it was a simulation..." she said.

"The liquid and monitors block off some of your memories while let others seep through. But all in all you did well"

"How did I do well...?" Misaki asked, confused.

"You think you did badly?"

Misaki shrugged. "I don't know..."

"Well its over now. You can return back to your dorm room and rest. Drink lots of liquids"

"Thank you" Misaki said. She got up from the chair and went back to her room. Misaki sat on her bed and thought about her simulation.

What was she afraid of? She was afraid of failure, hurting others, losing Suzana, ghosts, her mom's absence, trusting the wrong person...

Misaki wondered why Usui was in her simulation. Should she have trusted him instead? Was it her mistrust towards men?

Misaki laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. The simulation was amazing in itself though. It laid out all her fears one after the other. Misaki didn't even realize how much failure scared her or how much her mom really affected her.

"Failure, family, trust, ghosts..." Misaki ticked off on her fingers. "I will overcome them all..." she swore to herself.