Chapter 11

Jack arrived at work and was surprised to find that Ianto was already there. Walking deliberately past Ianto's desk on the way to his office, he stopped for a moment and gazed at the Welshman. Ianto was sitting at his desk, immersed in his work, suited, and immaculately groomed as usual.

Ianto looked up and gave Jack a small nod in greeting. Then he returned to his work. With an inward sigh, Jack made his way into his office and slumped down into his chair.

Jack felt conflicted. He wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. Ianto was a consummate professional, so he had no concerns about their after-hours activities bleeding into their working relationship. But that was also the problem. He'd seen a different side of the Welshman both on the previous evening and earlier that morning, and to see him revert so rapidly to his impassive persona was almost heartbreaking.

Despite their growing closeness, he still didn't know what had happened in Ianto's past; at least not the full story. He wanted to understand the source of Ianto's pain, but he didn't know if Ianto would ever allow him to get close enough for that. And even if Ianto did, Jack wasn't sure if he should allow himself to get any closer to the younger man. The situation was complicated enough already.

He'd started with good intentions, wanting to give Ianto the opportunity to explore his sexuality while feeling safe and cared for. It was meant to be simple – no strings attached, no complications. He hadn't planned on his feelings getting in the way. He liked Ianto as a colleague and friend, and now as a lover as well.

Jack found himself wanting this to be the start of something, not the end. But he didn't want to risk losing Ianto's friendship either, somewhat tentative though it was.

Cursing himself for being a sentimental fool, he pushed his confused thoughts aside and got on with his day.


It was late in the afternoon. Jack and Ianto were sitting in Jack's office, discussing the status of the latest work on the project.

Six days had passed, and neither of them had mentioned their night together. It was almost as though it had never happened. Jack was starting to worry that Ianto was regretting it, or if not, that he simply had no desire for a repeat performance. He decided that he needed to find out.

"So, Ianto," he began, keeping his voice low. "I was thinking… maybe, we could… get some dinner tonight… then, um… have some fun?" he asked, inwardly cringing at how ridiculous he must have sounded. He was a worldly thirty-plus year old man, and he was acting like an insecure teenager. Ianto seemed to have that affect on him, always keeping him unsure and slightly off balance.

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Are you propositioning me, Jack?" he said seriously, but Jack could see a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"Maybe," Jack hedged, not quite sure where this was going. "Interested?"

"Yep," Ianto agreed quickly. "Just as long as we're clear this isn't a date."

Jack grinned and almost sighed with relief. "Absolutely. Definitely not a date."

Ianto booked a room for them at the St. David's again, and at Jack's insistence, ordered an extravagant dinner from the room service menu.

The atmosphere was more relaxed this time. The anticipation was still present, heavy and arousing, but there was less of their previous nervousness.

Almost the moment they'd finished eating, they were frantically pulling off each other's clothes, their mouths colliding hungrily. Eventually they pulled apart, both panting heavily. Jack was stunned by the sheer intensity of his desire. He stared deeply into Ianto's lust darkened eyes, and Ianto returned his gaze with a degree of certainty that Jack hadn't expected.

Jack started to ask Ianto what he wanted when the Welshman placed a finger to Jack's lips, shaking his head. "It's your turn tonight, Jack. Tell me what you want."

For perhaps the first time in his life, Jack was lost for words. All he knew was that he greedily wanted everything that Ianto was willing to offer.

Later that evening, they collapsed together onto the bed in a pile of tangled limbs.

"Wow, that was…" Jack gasped, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

"Oh, yeah," Ianto moaned, equally breathless.

They turned to look at each other and then burst into laughter. Jack's heart did that weird thing again, and he felt elated at having produced this uncharacteristic response from the stoic younger man. Jack pulled Ianto close and kissed him with all of the passion and intensity he could muster.

It was the first time that Jack had heard Ianto genuinely laugh; not just a wry chuckle, but a full blown laugh with nothing held back. And in that moment, Jack thought that it was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

A few minutes later, Ianto turned and looked at Jack, giving him a nudge with his elbow. "Again?" he suggested, a hint of challenge in his voice.

Jack lifted himself up and rested on his elbows. He looked at Ianto with wide eyes. "I've created a monster," he teased.

Ianto leapt up and straddled Jack's hips. "I didn't hear you complaining earlier," Ianto retorted, grinning down at the older man.

"Oh, no complaints here," Jack assured him. He tilted his head up to meet Ianto's lips.

Ianto sighed as they broke apart. "Well, if you can't keep up…"

"Cheeky brat," Jack laughed as he pulled Ianto down to lay on top of him and then flipped them over. "You should be more worried about your own stamina, Mister Jones."

Ianto moaned deeply as Jack rubbed against him. "You're going to need all your strength," he whispered seductively into Ianto's ear. "Because I'm just getting warmed up."

Jack felt Ianto shiver beneath him as he captured his mouth again in a deep, languid kiss.


The following morning, they were lying together quietly. Jack had his arm around Ianto's shoulders, cradling the younger man close to him, his other hand stroking lazily over Ianto's hip and down his thigh.

"What was your first time like?" Ianto asked softly, his fingers trailing across Jack's stomach. "With a man," he clarified.

"Kind of terrifying," Jack began with a chuckle. "But it wasn't so bad. Cute guy named James. Don't remember his last name. Neither of us had been with a guy before so it was all over pretty quickly. It was during my first year at university." He paused in thought. "I'd fooled around with guys before that, but I'd never gone all the way. It wasn't… well it wasn't what I'd call particularly memorable, and we never saw each other again. I suppose that's not so unusual for a first time."

Ianto hummed in agreement. "If you hadn't come along," he began hesitantly. "I don't know if I ever would have been with a man, and I would have always wondered… I've never really done casual sex before."

Jack cringed inwardly at Ianto's somewhat callous description, even though, technically, it was correct. "Do you regret it?" he asked apprehensively.

"No," Ianto replied without hesitation. "Being with you… it wasn't some impersonal shag…" He turned his head to glance up at Jack, and then turned away again. "I'm glad it was with you, Jack."

"I wanted it to be good for you," Jack murmured as he reached up and stroked his hand gently across Ianto's cheek.

They were silent for several minutes. Jack was just enjoying being close to the other man. But his curiosity was getting the better of him as it often did, so he decided to push just a little.

"You're not happy are you?" he asked as gently as he could.

Ianto tensed. "Specifically or in general?" he asked cautiously.

Jack shrugged. "In general."

"Are you happy, Jack?" Ianto deflected.

"I'm happier than I used to be," Jack replied casually. "It's all relative I suppose." He paused for a moment and then added, "You deserve to be happy, Ianto."

"Do I?" Ianto said with some bitterness, pulling away from Jack. "Anyway, we don't always get what we deserve." His voice was harsh and he moved further away.

"True enough," Jack said neutrally, trying to hide his disappointment at the loss of contact. "You told me there was no one, but was there someone once?"

Ianto nodded but didn't meet his eyes.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"It's… complicated."

Jack grasped Ianto's hand and squeezed it gently. "Will you tell me about it?"

Ianto shook his head fiercely. "I… I can't." The pain had returned to his features, and he looked at Jack miserably.

Jack nodded in acceptance and forced his features into an understanding smile as he clamped down on his frustration. He pulled Ianto back and held him close.


Several weeks passed, and they'd quickly fallen into a routine of sorts, usually managing to spend a night together each week. Other times they spent together were simply sharing a meal or going to the pub for a drink after work.

Jack was feeling the pressure of his job as their first deadline loomed closer, whereas Ianto seemed to take it all in his stride. Jack envied Ianto's seemingly effortless composure. But he had their nights together to look forward to. He relished those precious hours where he could let go, surrendering to the pleasure and comfort he found with the Welshman.

Ianto was economical with words. It wasn't so much that he was shy, he could be vocal and forthright when he needed to be, but he wasn't really a talker. Unlike Jack, who had been told more than a few times throughout his life that he liked the sound of his own voice just a little too much. But Ianto was different, and he seemed to have no desire to fill the air with meaningless words. When he had something to say, he said it, and when Ianto did speak, Jack found himself not only listening, but listening carefully.

Although the younger man didn't share Jack's natural effusiveness, he was an attentive listener, and Jack never felt that Ianto wasn't paying attention or that he was simply indulging Jack in his idle ramblings. When Ianto's soulful eyes were fixed upon him, Jack had little doubt that Ianto was seeing his true nature, and not just the flirtatious persona he projected to the world.

Somehow, they seemed to balance each other out, and Jack had missed having someone he could trust and talk to candidly.

During one of their nights together, Jack found himself opening up and confiding in Ianto about his life before Cardiff. He talked about John, the guilt he kept buried, and his feelings of inadequacy at not being able to help his friend get better. He talked about his father and how he'd struggled to overcome his intense grief when he'd passed away. He talked about his childhood and his estranged relationship with his brother. And he talked about his life in London, why he'd needed to escape, and how he'd ended up in Wales.

He shed some tears during all of this, and Ianto had listened compassionately and offered quiet comfort and gentle words of reassurance. At one point he started murmuring softly in Welsh, lulling Jack slowly into sleep. And afterwards, Jack had felt a sense of lightness and contentment that he hadn't known in a long time.

As reluctant as Jack was to admit it, something had been missing from his life, and without even realising that it had been absent until now, it had quietly fallen into place.

He'd found a best friend.


"What's going on with you?" Owen asked as he looked at Ianto suspiciously.

They were sitting in their usual spot at the nearby pub, with pints of beer in front of them. Owen had visited their office to help with some more interface designs. Once they were done, Jack had insisted that Ianto finish up early for the day, and Owen had cheerfully dragged him to the pub.

"Nothing," Ianto replied nonchalantly. "Why?"

"There's something different about you," Owen persisted as he continued to scrutinise his friend thoughtfully.

"No, there isn't," Ianto answered neutrally, looking down at the table before taking a mouthful of beer.

"You've gone and got yourself laid haven't you!" Owen announced with a smug look.

"I haven't," Ianto replied just a little too quickly as he shook his head.

"You can't fool me, mate," Owen said confidently, a grin spreading across his face. Then his grin turned sly. "Did that smarmy Captain Jack make a move?" he teased.

"Of course not!" Ianto snapped emphatically as he glared at Owen.

Owen watched Ianto carefully and almost dropped his glass as he saw the tips of the other mans ears start to colour. "Bloody hell!" he almost shouted. "He did, didn't he?"

Ianto ducked his head and then looked up at Owen with a pained expression. "It's not like that," he said quietly.

"But you and he…?" Owen pressed.

Ianto just nodded slightly, a despondent expression clouding his features.

"So did he…" Owen began.

"Yep," Ianto answered.

"And did you…" Owen continued.

Ianto's mouth turned upwards in a slight smile. "Yeah."

"Bloody hell! Didn't know you had it in you! You and Jack Flash. Who would have thought?" Owen crowed.

"Hey!" Ianto retorted, looking outraged.

"Sorry, mate," Owen started, but not looking the least bit apologetic. "But you said it yourself, you don't do casual."

Ianto sighed. "It's just sex, Owen. We just…" he paused as if searching for an appropriate word. "We… dabble."

"With a bloke," Owen confirmed.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"So, what was it like? Dabbling with Jack?" Owen asked, looking at Ianto inquisitively.

"Good," Ianto replied blandly.

"Just good?" Owen teased.

"Really good," Ianto answered, the corners of his mouth curling upwards again. "Innovative," he added, his eyes seeming to glaze over for a moment.

"Bloody hell!" Owen exclaimed. "So, this was just a one-time thing?"

"Er, well…" Ianto hedged. "Not exactly."

Owen's eyes went wide. "Bloody hell!"

"Would you stop saying that!" Ianto hissed.

Owen had the grace to look apologetic this time. "Sorry, I'm just a bit… I mean… you said you're not…"

"I'm not," Ianto stated firmly, cutting him off.

"He didn't… force you into anything?" Owen asked, suddenly feeling concerned. Ianto was still vulnerable, and if Jack had taken advantage of his friend, Owen would have a few choice words to say to the pretentious American.

"No, of course not," Ianto said vehemently. "It wasn't like that. He offered, but he never pressured me. He was nice about it. And I thought about what you said, so…" He shrugged. "I accepted."

Owen nodded. "But doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Ianto confirmed. "But he says they're not exclusive. I don't know. Seems weird to me."

"Anyway, not your problem." Owen waved his hand dismissively. "But you like him, right?"

"We're just friends, Owen. We're not bloody dating. It's just a bit of fun, and I know it won't last. Anyway, I don't want a relationship."

Owen nodded. "Good for you, mate. Really."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I seem to recall something about doctor's orders."

Owen gave a low chuckle. "Yeah, well, I never thought you'd actually take my advice."

"You can't tell anyone, Owen," Ianto said, lowering his voice. "Not even Katie. No one can know. If anyone at work found out…"

"All right, scout's honour," Owen said, raising the palm of his hand.

"Were you ever a scout?" Ianto eyes narrowed as he looked at his friend suspiciously.

"Nah," Owen grinned. "But you know, patient confidentiality and all that. I know how to hold my tongue."

"Thanks," Ianto said, looking relieved.

Owen nodded as he was momentarily lost in thought. Then he looked at Ianto curiously. "So, where do you do it? Does he go to yours?"

"Hotel," Ianto said. "Better that way. Less complicated."

"Yeah, can't really imagine you going for it in some dark alley," Owen said with a grin. "Oh, God, I can't look at you now without thinking of the two of you shagging like rabbits," he added as a look of horror spread across his face.

"Jealous, Owen?" Ianto asked in a teasing tone. "I'm sure Jack wouldn't mind you joining in sometime if you ask nicely."

"No bloody way!" Owen retorted. "As it is, I need brain bleach." He paused and looked at Ianto with concern. "You know he's a player?"

Ianto shrugged. "I suppose," he said neutrally.

"I should know, I used to be one," Owen stated. "Just don't get attached, that's all I'm saying. Have fun with him, but be ready to move on when the time comes. Sooner or later, he'll get bored and set his sights on someone else. No offence mate, he just doesn't seem the type to hang around."

"It's fine, Owen," Ianto assured him. "I can take care of myself."

Owen smiled. "Course you can. Just be careful, yeah?"

Ianto nodded and they finished their drinks in silence.