Villains High: Moonlight's Epic Glimmer

The wind was howling against the shard shaped rocky walls of the Canyon of Conventional Death. If anybody was crazy enough to go rock climbing, he or she would either pierce a foot or fall towards a conventional death in the River of Reaped Souls that laid just at the bottom of the Canyon of Conventional Death.

"One foot down...OK, next one..."

Apparently, somebody was crazy enough. And she was crazy enough to have brought over her phone. Its ringtone was echoing throughout the landscape of doom.

"Hello?" She picked up her phone and answered.

"Moonlight, where the heck are you?" A girl on the other line shouted. "You said you'd be over at my house at 3pm for our Malevolent Military 101 group project. Where in Auschwitz are you?"

"Climbing down the Canyon of Conventional Death." Moonlight gulped. It was getting harder to handle her harness with one hand while the other was holding onto her phone.

"You WHAT? Why would even go there? It's among the deadliest landscapes outside of town! Do give me a good reason why you're hanging out there!"

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Friday at 12:15 pm*

Moonlight was spending her lunch break in the Technevilology classroom. Her fingertips were quickly tapping the keyboard while her restless eyes were glued on the screen. She kept muttering to herself in frustration until something was covering her eyes.

Moonlight grinned because she knew what that meant. "Is that the equal sign that my heart is beating?" She joked.

"Depends." The hands removed themselves from her face and flipped her chair around. Sure enough, they belonged to her boyfriend, Gelyk Amon. "I have a little surprise for you." He reached out and pulled two pieces of paper out of his sleeves. Shaped like...

"Tickets for the MacDeath Rapsters concert this Sunday?" Her eyes gleamed in excitement. "You managed to get two? But they were almost all sold out!"

Gelyk shrugged and caressed her chin with his thumb. "I'm unique in my own way. So, are we good for a concert date this Sunday?"

"You know I'd love to." She turned back to the computer screen. "But I have to worry about an assignment for Monday."

"I thought you and Adele were meeting up for that group project tomorrow at her house. What was it again?" He pulled a chair and sat down next to her.

"A visual presentation on dictatorial symbolism from Antiquity all the way to the 21st century." Moonlight briefly lifted her glasses in order to rub her eyes. You could see dark purple marks underneath the blue eyes she usually kept hidden under her glasses. "I spent almost all week going to the library to search up anything from Roman imperialism to the reign of Bonaparte, I lost track about my other assignment due Monday."

"For which class?"

"Dark History of Evil Deities."

"Ooh." Gelyk grimaced. Villains High had a knack for teaching out of the ordinary classes for children of villains and antiheroes, but Dark History of Evil Deities was by far one of the most complex classes. Taught by none other than the goddess of discord Eris herself, the course focused on teaching students the background of all the existing evil deities that contributed to the creations or destructions of worlds, how they brought fear upon mortals, and what kind of ancient artifacts they dropped on the mortal world for villains to use. Therefore, unless you were a demigod directly related to a bad god or Penna De Mort, it was impossible for any regular VH student to get even a C+ in that class. The homework assignments Eris gave them were inhuman. "So, what's she having you do? I hope it's not another sacrifice to burn and send the ashes to one of her friends on the evil gods' chat room."

"Worse." Moonlight showed him the pages she had opened up on the computer. "She wants the students to bring back some sort of divine stone that relates to our villainous heritage, and to make matters worse, not only can I not find any stone that relates to evil equality, but she also threatened to cut off half the GPA of any student who doesn't come back with a good stone!" She grabbed her hair into her fists. "All my hard work will be gone to waste and I can say adios to any chance of graduating, getting a college degree in dictatorship, and running my own brainwashed empire!" She sighed in defeat and gave a hopeless grin. "I hope my failure won't damage our relationship."

"It won't, the same way you won't fail. Let's brainstorm." Gelyk slouched on his chair and rubbed his chin. "OK, your villainous background involves your mom hating cutie marks, trying to brainwash an entire village, place fake equal signs on their flanks while storing their... That's it!" He snapped his fingers and sat upstraight on the chair. "Remember when you and your mom came over to my house two weeks ago for tea?"

"Yes, I also remember your dad nagging me with reminders of what kind of tea you drink, how your consort should contribute to your reign, and how he wants at least one junior out of the six grandkids he wants to have." Moonlight rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me."

"Well, at one point I overheard him and your mom talking about their old scheme. She mentioned the giant stone that she used to encase the cutie marks of the village she brainwashed. Maybe if you can find a fragment of the stone and bring it back..."

"Then my GPA won't be ruined! Gelyk, I love you!" She gave him a quick kiss and ran out of the room, leaving him to smile with pleasure.

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Back to the present*

"So, you're trying to get a divine stone to save your GPA?" Adele asked on the phone.

"Yep." Moonlight nearly slipped on a steep area and nearly fell to a certain death if it weren't for the harness.

"But why on earth did you have to go all the way to the Canyon of Conventional Death?"

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Friday at 2:10 pm*

"I hope you have a good reason for pulling me out of my Villainous Witchcraft class." Penna crossed her arms and tapped her fingernails on her skin impatiently after Moonlight had dragged her into the dark stairwell that student used to go from the underground classroom of Villainous Witchcraft to the main floor. Moonlight pulled out a parchment paper with an illustration of a rectangular blue stone that appeared to be see-through.

"I thought you'd know where I could find a stone just like the one my mom used," she explained while the dark sorceress had a look at the illustration. "She claims it's called a Holding Stone."

"Hm." Penna bit her upper lip. "I know what you're talking about and there's only one place near Villainapolis that you can find a laptop sized version of the stone..."

"Yes!" Moonlight raised her happy hands in the air.

"But it's in the Canyon of Conventional Death."

Moonlight froze. The Canyon of Conventional Death was one of the deadliest landscapes outside of the city. No idiotic tourists would have the senile brain to go even close to the edge to look down at it for five seconds. Most villains stayed clear away from the canyon. Some say the Canyon of Conventional Death was where locals threw away the corpses of heroes who had the audacity to break inside the city. For a second, Moonlight wasn't sure if finding the stone was worth losing her life, but then again, dying sounded a whole lot better than getting a humiliating grade.

"So, how do I get to the stone's location in the Canyon of Conventional Death?" She gulped.

"Let's see." Penna snapped her fingers and a scroll with an encrypted map appeared in Moonlight's hands. "You have to get out of town, go across the Swamp of Sworn Sorrows, walk in zigzags in the Patched Desert of Pitiful Despair, cross the Bridge of Basic Doom, and climb down the Canyon of Conventional Death towards the Cave of the Holding Stone while avoiding a certain death in the River of Reaped Souls."

"Who comes up with these redundant names?" Moonlight muttered.

"Some Redundant Scribe of Redundantness," Penna shrugged.

*Cue to a cut of the Redundant Scribe of Redundantness working as a Villainapolis public librarian*

"Hey, what's a Redundant Scribe of Redundantness doing in a library?" Kory Lokisia asked in confusion while she and Haya Yu were checking out books in the library.

"He's redundant." Haya shrugged in exasperation. "How am I supposed to know?"

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Back to the present*

"So you went all the way through this mayhem and now you're hanging for life?" Adele asked.

Moonlight finally reached the cave she was looking for. "It get's worse."

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Friday at 6:30 pm*

Moonlight was grumbling to herself as she kicked a vine away from her ankle. A screeching bat flew above her head, making her scream and wave her hands in the air to shoo the animal away.

As soon as classes were over, she changed into more nature challenging clothing and brought a few supplies that she thought she would need for her insane quest. The only obstacle she never imagined to face was that the moment she stepped out of the Villainapolis borders and into the dangerous landscape, her magic didn't work, which meant big trouble. According to social records, a magically gifted villain with powers similar to those of a unicorn would go insane for just spending five hours without using magic, but Moonlight was beginning to go nuts just from not using any power after spending an hour getting lost in the Swamp of Sworn Sorrows.

The swamp itself was a living mayhem. Every inch of leaves and moss was a dark green color, as if somebody threw up all over the place. The dark narrow trees went so high up that you couldn't even tell what color the sky usually is, it was even so dark that no flying bird of prey could be seen but their ominous screeching could be heard. To make matters worse, they didn't have much of earth patches to walk on. Most of the Swamp of Sworn Sorrows had high levels of water, the further she walked through them, the closer they seemed to reach her crotch level, and the fact that she couldn't see what was swimming in that murky water didn't help.

"Ouch!" Something grabbed her ankle underwater and tried dragging her down there. "Get off me!" She kicked the thing away from her, but it came swimming back at her. Moonlight reached out for the nearest tree root and tried to lift herself out of the water and away from the monster's reach. It did not help that she felt its clawed hands reach out for her khaki shorts...

"GET OFF ME!" Moonlight managed to kick it away from her...and the creature came rising out of the water, with her torn shorts in his hand.

"GILLIARD MOSS! WHAT THE HELL?" Her classmate from VH blushed in embarrassment as she, disgusted, sank her lower body back in the water to make sure that he didn't have to see more of her white underwear with pink equal signs.

"I...mistook you for a giant catfish?" He chuckled as he awkwardly handed her torn shorts out. Angered, she slapped him. He didn't fight back. "What the heck are you doing in the Swamp of Sworn Sorrows?"

"Me? What about you, Mister Short Puller?" Moonlight snapped.

"This is my weekend retirement home." He pointed a finger to the tree she was reaching out for. She looked up and saw that a ladder carved into the tree led straight to a light brown wooden tree house, complete with a balcony, a slide that led straight to the swamp, and an open window with the scent of boiling soup coming out of it. "I come here during the weekends when I don't have much homework and my pals already got plans. Helps me keep my mind out of the sushi-loving humans I must live with." He guided Moonlight up the ladder and to the tree house. The wooden planks slightly creaked as they walked.

"Hello," a man greeted them. He was sitting on the floor of the balcony and painting on canvases with only light green, chocolate brown, and death black colors. All the paintings he made were exaggerations of the swamp landscape: he managed to make the place look like a poisoned candy land.

"Hello, Redundant Painter of Redundantness!" Gilliard greeted.

"There's a Redundant Painter of Redundantness?" Moonlight blinked. "I thought there was a Redundant Scribe of Redundantness."

"Same guy. He recently worked as a Redundant Librarian of Redundantness, but when that didn't work out, he became a Redundant Painter of Redundantness," Gilliard said. "Well...at least that's what he told me when I found him painting on my balcony when I arrived two hours ago. Speaking of which, I should have some clean pants for you in my tree house. Let's leave him alone and get you...some bottoms to wear."

Moonlight glared at him viciously, as if to warn him to not remind him.

*Saturday at 8:45am*

Moonlight walked in disgust under the pile of hot sun.

Positively speaking, Gilliard had been enough to provide her with spare pants and supplies, letting her stay for the night in his 'weekend retirement home', and taking her all the way through the Swamp of Sworn Sorrows by canoe until they reached the Patched Desert of Pitiful Despair, where he left her there to continue her journey while he peacefully paddled away. Negatively speaking, Moonlight finally understood why the desert got its name. It was actually a patch of land shaped like a zigzag with each edge formed by a dune higher than a tour bus, only it wasn't made of sand but of piled corpses. Probably from people who died of dehydration and ended up becoming feasts for the local vultures.

The heat was insane. It didn't help with the fact that the pants Moonlight received from Gilliard were made of swamp grass. She could even feel the swamp's murky water slipping through her underwear. Her tongue panted out of dryness, causing her to start crawling her way through the desert.

And so far she had only traveled a quarter of it.

"What the..." Something pulled her up by the pants. She heard the sound of chewing and drooling, so she turned her head and saw that her pants (and included underwear) were being chewed on by a camel. "Get this camel off my pants!"

"Moonlight Glimmer from VH? Well isn't that a surprise?" A perky French-Canadian spoke up and Moonlight saw yet another one of her schoolmates sitting on one of the camel's humps.

"Vannabella Rídegel?" Moonlight frowned. "What's an ice dancer like you doing in the Patched Desert of Pitiful Despair?"

"The Beaufox Spa is currently under renovations, so I had to go somewhere to replace my morning tan session," Vannabella explained while checking herself on a compact mirror. "A beauty like myself needs to get her tan to stand out on the ice."

"Does that beauty of yours not have brain? You could easily go to the beach to get a tan instead of this lethal landscape!"

"My tour guide recommended this place." Vannabella introduced someone sitting behind her on the camel. He was wearing desert clothes and busy playing some sort of Middle Eastern trumpet, but he looked familiar. Come to think of it, Moonlight had seen him back in the swamp.

"What's the Redundant Scribe of Redundantness who became a Redundant Painter of Redundantness doing with you?" Moonlight was confused.

"Yeah, apparently communicating with nature through paint did not work for him, so he became a Redundant Tour Guide of Redundantness...even though he prefers to refer to himself as the Redundant Caterer of Camels of Redundantness. I'm not sure. The second one sounds like he's calling the camels redundant."

The Redundant Tour Guide of Redundantness tapped his hand three times on the camel's butt. The animal instantly stopped chewing Moonlight's pants and spit her back in the sand. While she was busy coughing sand out of her mouth, Vannabella pulled out her phone and took a picture of Moonlight's bare butt and whatever was left of her pants and underwear. "Isn't it a little early for a full moon?" She joked.

"Hilarious," Moonlight grumbled. "I'm guessing you don't have any available pants that'll humiliate me even more?"

*Saturday at 1pm*

The tight insulated ice skating pants Vannabella had given Moonlight a bad case of contained sweat. After walking for two hours until she reached the end of the Patched Desert of Pitiful Despair. Time flew so quickly as Moonlight found herself unable to cross the Bridge of Basic Doom, which was a twelve-foot long rope bridge that hung over a pit of complete blackness. The planks themselves looked awfully rotten. One seagull tried to rest on one blank at the center of the bridge and fell into the abyss the moment the plank gave.

Moonlight gulped. Add to the fact that she had a fear of heights.

"M...maybe I should just..." Moonlight gulped. "RUN!"

She ran like a mad chicken across the bridge. Several planks broke apart from the pressure her feet were giving. She managed to reach the third quarter of the bridge until one plank broke ahead of her and she know found herself stuck in between planks, her legs dangling above the abyss. "Great!" She struggled to push herself up. "I don't see how it can get any wo...OOOUCCH!" Something grabbed her legs and pulled them downward. Not wanting to take any chances, Moonlight grabbed the nearest rope and forcefully pulled herself upward. When she stood up, she realized that whatever clung onto her managed to get a hold of her pants and drag them with it. Moonlight just gave up and decided that if the world had a thing against her, she'd just go to the Canyon of Conventional Death half naked.

*Cue to flashback ripples*

*Back to the present*

"And that...resumes...my tragic epic tale!" Moonlight choked. While she narrated her story to Adele through the phone, she ran her way out of the cave. Blood drinking bats had chased her the moment she found the Holding Stone in a cave chamber full of lethal stalagmites and stalactites that cut her legs, turning them into a running, blood spilling feast.

For some unknown miracle, a Nazi helicopter came hovering by the cavern entrance. The cockpit opened and a couple soldiers came down to pick up Moonlight and bring her up to the helicopter. Once inside, they flew away and a medic came in to place bandages on her cuts and gave her a clean uniform.

"You brought me a helicopter," Moonlight said with a smirk when she saw her friend Adele Hitler sitting on one of the helicopter seats, putting away her cell phone in her pocket, and smugly drinking a cup of dark coffee.

"While you were busy ranting about your insane quests, I had my dad lend me one of his helicopters to send you a rescue squad." Adele shrugged.

Moonlight sighed. She sat down next to Adele and hugged her backpack. "I'm sorry that I didn't come back in time to work on our project. If you want, we can work on it tomorrow."

"That sounds great, but what about your concert date with Gelyk?" Adele asked.

"I guess he'll have to sell his tickets. I have a first commitment."

Monday afternoon

Gelyk found Moonlight sitting by one of the catwalks at the beach. She was pouting and staring at the sunset with a grump, and because of the running gag she dealt with, she swore off any pants and decided to stick with skirts with leggings or decent dresses.

"Did the assignment not work?" Gelyk asked as he sat down next to Moonlight and stared at the sunset as well.

"Professor Eris really screwed me. Turns out that me fetching a Holding Stone worked too well! She gave me a M!"

"But that's good, isn't it?" Gelyk frowned.

"Oh, it gets better!" Moonlight snorted. "Turns out that the reason she had us collect gemstones was because she was trying to make an aquarium as a present for her kid's upcoming birthday! My Holding Stone was exactly what she needed to keep the water in!"

Gelyk grimaced. He could imagine what Moonlight was going through. Feeling depressed that you risked your life to get a good grade for an impossible class only to find out that your teacher was using you to make an aquarium? If it were him, he'd be banging his head on a doorway until he fainted from a concussion.

"And remember the gag of me getting my pants damaged?" Moonlight got his attention. "So, right after Dark History of Evil Deities is over, I was walking down the hall and I spotted Moss and Rídegel with Louie King Junior. They were braggingly celebrating the success of their group project for Damsel Tormenting! Publicly humiliating a girl in a natural environment and they chose me as the meat! Now every copy of the UNHOLY GAZETTE has pictures of my bare butt sinking in the swamp, being covered with camel spit, or dangling above an abyss as a trapeze! And the Redundant Scribe of Redundantness who never seemed to be focused on a work field was actually THE REDUNDANT DAMSEL TORMENTING SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF REDUNDANTNESS! I GOT DETENTION FOR TRYING TO STRANGLE HIM!" Moonlight hugged herself and cried. Gelyk put his arm over her shoulders for comfort.

"Moon..." He said.

"I'm sorry you had to sell those MacDeath Rapsters concert tickets." She wiped away her tears. "I know you spent a lot of money trying to get them just for the two of us, but I had to spend my entire Sunday helping Adele get our project ready."

"It's alright." He stroke her hair. "Besides, concert or not, just being with you, the most promising equal in my life, is worth all the tickets in the world."

Moonlight smiled at him. She rested her head on his shoulders and the two of them sighed in pleasure as the wind blew over the waters and the sun brought down its fiery colors before covering Villainapolis in a shroud of night stars.

*End Of Episode*

*Characters Introduced:

Moonlight Glimmer, daughter of Starlight Glimmer from MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

Adele Hitler, daughter of Hitler

Gelyk Amon, son of Amon from THE LEGEND OF KORRA

Vannabella Rídegel, daughter of the Ice Dancers from TOTAL DRAMA PRESENTS: THE RIDONCULOUS RACE

Louis King Junior, son of King Louie from THE JUNGLE BOOK

*Next Episode (and last one for Villains High: The First Curse): The Dark Rulers' Black Star Number