"Okay, what just happened?" Millicent asked in an undertone as George mounted his broom and took to the air. "Did he…? Was he..?" Her thoughts didn't clear up enough to finish the question. Instead she fell silent and waited for Pansy to guess what she was trying to articulate and to explain it for her.
"I think we broke him," said Pansy.
That was as apt an explanation as Millicent had come up with. "Well," she said. "That's game over then. Let's prank the Hufflepuffs next."
Pansy tilted her head to the side and watched the Gryffindor team get into their warm-ups. "I think we can get a bit more out of this situation."
"He wants me to polish his broomstick, Parkinson," said Millicent. "And I have no idea whether he meant broomstick or broomstick, if you know what I'm saying. No, when it gets to the point of sexual favours or domestic duties, we cut our losses."
"Not yet, Millie!" Pansy wailed.
Millicent had already begun turning toward the school but turned back to find Pansy gazing at her with imploring eyes. "What? What more fun can we get from this?"
"There's Draco," said Pansy. "He'll be so hysterical. And there's the other Weasley twin. He'll still freak out."
There was that. And Millicent could tell them apart enough that she wouldn't get stuck with the broken one that might expect broomstick attention. She nodded slowly. "Okay, but the Yule Ball is the end of it."
"Speaking of," said Pansy. "I better get on to studying how to trap him into his invitation to you."
When Millicent began to turn towards the castle again, Pansy caught her by the shoulder, pulling her roughly back.
"No, no. You're meant to play the adoring girlfriend. Now go cheer for the boy. But make sure it's the wrong boy."
Millicent sighed before trudging back toward the stands. She would have asked whether Pansy expected her to actually polish the damn broom, but had the feeling that the answer would only depress her more.
…..
When Pansy was interested in a topic, her focus could get pretty scary. And she had vested interest in keeping the Weasley twin and Millicent together. Draco had spent the previous night getting steadily drunk off a bottle of twenty year old Firewhiskey that he had pilfered from the Malfoy cellar. Occasionally he had looked at Millicent and sighed deeply before trying to bribe her into giving her Weasley up. When the alcohol had been gone and the jewels had not worked, he had mustered his courage and his considerable charm and tried to seduce her. Pansy was still stunned that she had not died laughing.
"I can tell that's transfigured."
Pansy had chosen the quietest corner of the library, but she looked up from her book to see a rather annoyed looking Hermione Granger looming over her. She put on her most perfectly polished tone, turned her nose up and asked, "Excuse me?"
"That text that you're going through. I can tell that it's not really your potions book."
"Is it not?" drawled Pansy. "I wonder what in the world it could be then."
"I imagine," said Hermione coldly, drawing up a chair. "That you're researching a way to make George Weasley keep his promise to take Millicent Bulstrode to the Yule Ball."
Pansy cast Hermione a rather bored look before yawning. "They say you're the brightest witch in our year and I don't know why," she said casually. "George Weasley invited Millicent to the ball. And, for some inexplicable reason, she accepted. Why would I need to research a way to make something that's bound to happen happen?"
Hermione stared at her for a long moment. "Look, Pansy," she said finally. "I believe that Millicent Bulstrode is stupid enough to fall for a trick like that, but I would never believe it about you. Are you trying to help her, or are you actually cruel enough to sit back and watch while the twins set her up like this?"
Pansy stopped chewing on her quill and laid it carefully on the table. "I'm not sure exactly what you're suggesting, Granger. If you're saying that there's something wrong with Bulstrode…"
"For God's sake, keep your voice down," Hermione hissed, glancing around cautiously and leaning in once she'd ascertained that no one was listening. "Of course there's something wrong with Millicent. And if you actually think that either of the Weasley twins would ever ask her out then there's something wrong with you too."
Creasing her nose, Pansy shrugged. "Well, considering that I was there when one of them asked her out…" she began dryly.
"Don't be daft," Hermione cut in. "You know very well that they wouldn't do that. Look, I know that sometimes the jokes the twins play push the boundaries, but this one is just cruel. Now, are you or are you not trying to find a way to legally bind George to his invitation?"
"I am," said Pansy cautiously.
"Excellent," said Hermione. "Pass me a book and let me help."
Pansy pushed one of the larger volumes across the table. "Millicent can never know about this," she said.
Hermione frowned. "I heard about that bathroom conversation you had with Angelina and Katie," she admitted. "It sounds…Well, it sounds like Millicent has a lot of hopes pinned on this date."
"Yes," agreed Pansy. "She is absolutely thrilled by the prospect. The flaming red hair, you know."
Hermione looked as though she did know. Pansy had suspected that there was something going on with that Ronald Weasley and Hermione, and was frankly disgusted. Freckles, that bright grated carroty mess of hair and feet as big as that oaf Hagrid's. Why any self-respecting witch would even…Pansy forced down a shudder and smiled brightly at Hermione. "Well, thanks for the help anyway. Millicent doesn't have good things happen to her very often, and she is so devoted to that Weasley."
….
Millicent was trying hard not to fall asleep. This was why she, Pansy, Daphne and Tracey spent Quidditch matches throwing Bertie Botts beans at each other and painting their toe-nails. It was all zipping in and out and up and down. It was probably fun for those involved but really, people were expected to enjoy watching this?
After what seemed an age of cheering for the wrong twin, the right twin landed his broom in the stands by her. She might have dropped off for a moment but startled awake when his robes brushed her leg.
"Practice over," he said, pushing his flying goggles up onto his head. Standing in front of her, he was framed by the sun and Millicent was surprised with the realisation that he was pretty, well, fit. She shook herself. Of course he was. Athlete and all that.
"You're not my Weasley," she said, smiling. Then she jumped down from the stand and went to wrap her arms around Fred. "I can polish your broom now," she purred.
He squeaked and tried to shake her off but, athlete or not, he didn't have that much in the way of muscle mass. Angelina turned to glare at them. Maybe this prank wasn't yet dead after all.
Pansy was almost boneless with delight that night in their dorm. "Our game has just been given a new dimension," she said. "I think it might be the most complex game we have ever played."
"Really?" Millicent stopped tugging forlornly at her hair ribbons to give Pansy her full attention. "What's happened?"
"We have officially," said Pansy in reverent tones. "Drawn Hermione Granger into the mix – and do you want to know the best part?"
"What's the best part?" asked Millicent dutifully.
"We're winning! Us! Against her! She doesn't suspect us at all, and do you know why?"
Millicent sighed but she really wouldn't get an answer if she didn't ask the question; so she asked, "Why?"
"Because you look too stupid to be able to orchestrate something like this so she's come to the conclusion that it's those nasty twins' fault and she's helping me!"
Millicent looked down at herself. "When you say I look too stupid, do you mean I look too fat?" she asked.
Pansy waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, Millie, it's the same thing." She sighed in utter bliss and, smiling like a kneazel, said, "Oh Millie, I knew there was a reason I had a fat friend."
Millicent laughed and threw a pillow at Pansy's head. It hit hard but only made Pansy laugh too. "But really," she said. "If we pull this off we beat everyone."
Millicent considered. "We can out-prank the pranksters, out-smart the smartest person in school, infiltrate the group of the Boy-Who-Lived…"
"And tease Draco!" Pansy squealed, hugging the pillow to herself. "I'm so happy I could cry!"
