Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or any of the characters found within them. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer who I thank for letting me play with them for awhile. No copyright infringement is intended by this story.
CHAPTER ELEVEN – DECISIONS, DECISIONS
As soon as I heard Demetri close the door to the chamber, I began to run through the details of my first encounter with the Volturi. The meeting had not gone exactly as I had planned. I had hoped, but never truly believed, that Aro would grant my request immediately without asking any questions. After all, why would the mighty Volturi care about one vampire's reason for choosing to end his pathetic existence? I was nothing to them. Unfortunately, I already could tell that Aro was intrigued by me and my gift. It was quite clear from everyone's thoughts that Aro was used to getting whatever he wanted. I only hoped that Aro's expedition through my memories would somehow convince him that I was worthless without Bella. He had forced me to relive some of the most horrifying and exhilarating experiences of my long existence – all of which involved my Bella. Surely, even Aro could see what a huge difference Bella's presence made to me. With her in my arms, I was complete. She made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Without her, I was a hollow shell of a man – empty and broken beyond repair. Even that was an overly generous description of my current condition.
Still, the meeting could have been much worse. At least Aro was willing to consider my request. If he and his brothers chose to deny me, I knew that I still had other options to force them to take action.
I fully realized that my unilateral decision to ask the Volturi for death was incredibly selfish. Still, I had to do it. Now that my angel was gone, I did not want to think or feel any more. Before I met Bella, I thought that it was okay to feel dead inside. But, once she awakened the feelings and senses that I no longer thought I had, the emptiness I now felt without her pained me so much more than it ever had before. Without my Bella, immortality held nothing for me. Certainly, no one could begrudge me the peace of death, could they? After all, I already had lived substantially longer than a natural lifetime.
I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to hold myself together a little longer. It was worthless to make any contingency plans until the Volturi made their decision. Oh Bella, why did you leave me all alone? You were the only person who truly mattered to me. How could I have been so foolish? Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I swear that I will join you as soon as I can, my love.
I could not be sure how long I sat like that on the floor of the chamber. It felt like it had only been a few minutes when Demetri knocked on the door to summon me again. But, when he opened the door, I could hear him thinking how odd it was that I had not moved to the bed or one of the chairs during my long wait. When I heard his thoughts, I glanced around the room and saw for the first time a queen-sized bed, two leather armchairs and an ornate carved wooden wardrobe. The room was actually quite spacious. I am certain Demetri would have found it even more surprising to learn that I had not even noticed the bed or chairs before now.
"The Masters would like to speak to you again, Edward. Please follow me." He said quietly as he held the door open for me. He looked me over with kind eyes. If I didn't hear it from Master Aro, I never would have believed it was possible. How could the death of a human affect someone like this? He looks almost frail.
I nodded to Demetri and jumped quickly to my feet. I wanted him to understand that I was in no way weak or frail, just desperate to get what I wanted. Demetri silently escorted me at a human pace through another stone passageway. Long slit-like windows lined the walls of the passageway. Through them, the black night sky seeped into the castle. I almost felt like it would overtake me. Although I could not hear in Demetri's thoughts what the brothers had decided, the darkness made our journey back to them rather ominous.
I was grateful that Demetri did not feel the need to fill the silence between us. Even his mind was relatively quiet. After several minutes, Demetri led me back to the same carved wooden door of the brothers' study and knocked once before holding the door open for me to enter. This time, it appeared that I would have a much larger audience for my conversation with Aro, Marcus and Caius. The three Volturi brothers still sat in their throne-like chairs in the center of the room, but now they were attended by two or three guards apiece. The new guard members did not wear the same dark cloaks that Demetri, Felix and Jane sported. Instead, it looked like they were trying to blend in by wearing suits and formal dresses. Their minds and their protective stances still gave them away as foot soldiers rather than nobility. Demetri and Felix looked on from either side of the doorway, while Jane smirked at me from her cozy position near Aro's right hand. I could not determine from the brothers' current thoughts what they had decided, but I did not think it boded well for me that the brothers had decided to invite the additional guard members to our 'chat.'
As I approached the center of the room, Caius and Marcus stared at me with dark unfeeling eyes. In contrast, Aro gave me a wide smile and exclaimed, "Edward, how nice to see you again. I trust that you found your room comfortable. I sincerely hope that you had the opportunity to refresh yourself after your long journey."
I forced my mouth into something resembling a small smile. "Yes, Aro. Everyone here has been quite hospitable." I lied. Felix and Jane had been anything but hospitable.
Aro smiled again and resumed. "We are taking your request quite seriously, Edward. But we do have some more questions for you."
I sighed quietly. I knew that I should have anticipated that Aro and his brothers would drag out our discussion. After all, nothing since I first met Bella had gone easily for us. Why would joining her in death be any different? I tried to keep my expression calm. "Of course, Aro. What can I answer for you?"
"How can you be so certain that your Bella is dead? After all, you were not there. Perhaps there has been a mistake."
I shook my head and simply said, "Alice does not make mistakes." Aro could not know how hard I wished that it could all be a misunderstanding. But, after my call to Charlie's house I knew that was not possible. My angel was gone and no amount of wishing could bring her back.
"I see. We also are quite curious why you chose to come all the way to Volterra to request our assistance with your . . . problem. Certainly Carlisle or Emmett and Jasper could have helped you end your life, couldn't they? What is it, Edward, that you believe we can do for you that your family could not?" Was he afraid to ask them for assistance? They would be much gentler than our guard.
Though I was a bit disconcerted by Aro's casual references to my brothers by name, I knew I had to answer honestly. "I never could have asked my family to do that, Aro. First of all, I am quite certain that my father and brothers would have refused to grant my request. They probably would not let me out of their sight. Even if that were not the case, I could not ask them to kill me. I would not want to cause my family any more sorrow than they will already feel when they learn what I have done." Esme especially would take both Bella's and my death very personally.
"I see. I must say, this puts us in a rather awkward position. We do not want to unnecessarily upset our dear friend Carlisle by killing his son without his knowledge or permission. We also do not want to create a precedent for other vampires to flock to Volterra seeking death." Aro responded.
Although Caius' face remained impassive, he laughed in his head. As if there are any other foolish creatures in this world who are ridiculous enough to choose to end their existence over love. Especially something as disgusting as the love of a human.
"Does this mean that you are refusing to assist me?" I demanded loudly. I felt a growl rising in my throat and I focused on breathing deeply in an attempt to keep myself from losing my temper. I knew that I would not be able to keep it under control much longer.
"You have so much to offer, Edward." Aro simpered. "Maybe you cannot see it right now, but we would be doing you a disservice to grant your request. You have a wonderful gift, my boy. That gift is something to be treasured, not destroyed. In fact, we believe in you so much that we would like to offer you a place here in Volterra as a member of our guard." Aro smiled widely as he said this. Imagine the possibilities . . .
This time, I did not hold back my growl. "Did you even remotely consider my request or have you been playing with me this entire time?" I shouted. "Of all the arrogant, self-indulgent and conceited people I have ever met, you are the worst. I came here thinking you would act honorably. Obviously, I was gravely mistaken."
Several of the guard members began moving closer to me in an attempt to shield their Masters from my rant. Their thoughts loudly reprimanded me. How dare he speak to the Masters in that tone. This human lover needs to remember his place the next time Master Aro lowers himself to speak to him.
Felix's vile thoughts stood out from those of the other guard members. I can't wait until Master Aro lets me teach this freak a lesson. Anyone pathetic enough to fall in love with his food doesn't deserve to be in the same room with the rest of us . . .
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to calm down. I knew that losing my temper more than I already had would not sway the Volturi from their decision. Instead, it could only cause me or my family more trouble.
"Calm yourself, young one." Aro warned. He still had a hint of a smile on his face as if he had anticipated my outburst. Careful, Edward. You need to show a little more respect. I will not be able to hold my brothers back if you continue to shout at us.
Unlike Aro, Caius did not seem to find any amusement in my temper. His eyes flashed with fury and his thoughts raged at me. How dare he address us in such a manner. We should lock him away for such insolence. Only my fond memories of Carlisle and my brother's entertainment are preventing me from ordering the guard to grab him right now. One more display like that and I will personally guarantee that he will not leave our dungeons for fifty years.
After a tense moment, Aro continued. "Please be assured that we have thoroughly considered your request, Edward. We did not come to our decision lightly. We simply do not believe that it would be prudent to grant your request at this time. Perhaps with time you may change your mind. We would like to give you that opportunity to fully consider your options. Even if you do not choose to become a member of our guard, you are still welcome to stay with us in Volterra for as long as you would like." I am certain that we could find something here to interest you . . .
He continued. "In the meantime, is there anything else that we can do for you? Heidi will return within the day with a feast for us all, but if you are in need of some nourishment I am certain we could find a snack for you." Perhaps you would like Gianna. She has almost reached the end of her usefulness . . .
"No thank you. I would rather not." I replied through clenched teeth. Did he really just try to offer me human blood as a 'snack' after all his talk of respecting Carlisle? I could not wait to leave the castle. My mind began to race with possible scenarios to force the Volturi guard to take action against me. I just needed to control my temper for a few minutes until I could escape. Getting locked in a dungeon would definitely not help me hasten my demise.
"Since you are not able to help me Aro, I will be on my way home." I said. "Thank you again for your hospitality. I can find my own way out of the castle." I nodded my head at each of the three brothers and quickly backed up towards the door. I did not want to chance touching Aro again. I did not want him to see any of my plans.
As I turned to exit the room, I saw Aro beckon Demetri to his side and whisper something to him. I could hear what Aro said through both his and Demetri's thoughts. Watch him.
Before I could close the door behind me, Aro called after me, "Give Carlisle our best wishes. It was a pleasure to meet you, Edward. Please do not do anything foolish. I would hate for you to be harmed in any way." We will be watching you, my boy. The guard is quite accustomed to keeping peace in our fair city.
My shoulders tensed as I listened to Aro's warning, but I shrugged it off. I could not afford to hesitate now. I walked quickly through the stone passageways back to the reception area. I was out the front door before Gianna could even rise from her desk to wish me a good day. I only had about one hour until sunrise. By the clear morning sky, I already could tell that it would be a sunny day. I needed to perfect my plans quickly before the Volturi guard could prevent me from carrying them out.
The streets of Volterra were fairly empty at that hour, but I knew they would fill up shortly for the Saint Marcus day festivities. The quickest and easiest way to infuriate the brothers would be to hunt within the city walls, especially on that particular day. What better way for the citizens of Volterra to celebrate the day that their savior Father Marcus supposedly drove all vampires from the city than be getting slaughtered by a vampire? The irony was rather fitting.
My soul was long absent and I already had lost the one person who truly mattered to me, so why not leave the world in a blaze of glory? I almost laughed out loud at my unintentional pun. The Volterra market was already bustling with people. I could hear the shouts of the shopkeepers and patrons from several blocks away. I could start my hunt there and if that was not enough to provoke the guard into killing me, I could continue by hunting the Saint Marcus day revelers in a few short hours. I had deprived myself of human blood for so long that just thinking about it caused my mouth to fill with venom. If I so obviously exposed myself as the monster that I am, I was sure that even Aro would choose to condemn me to death regardless of any desires he had for my gift.
I approached the marketplace and began to assess the quickest way to provoke the Volturi guard into destroying me. The Volterra market took place along the Via dei Sarti and in a small piazza several blocks from the castle. More than two dozen shopkeepers already had set up their carts and tables and were arguing animatedly with passersby over the prices of their wares. The square already reeked with the smells of the different types of foods being sold and the unwashed bodies of the humans trying to complete their shopping before the tourists arrived. I slipped in and out of the crowd estimating the most efficient way to terrorize the marketplace. I decided that I could start at one end and pull the bodies behind the carts. I would have to go quickly. I was not sure how long my conscience would let me continue. I started by stalking an ancient white-haired man whose thoughts indicated that he already had lived a long, happy life, when a small girl with long brown hair caught my attention. She could only have been about four or five years old. She tugged on her mother's hand, pulling her toward a cart with pastries and confections. I could not tear my eyes away from her. When she and her mother approached me, the little girl looked at me shyly through a curtain of her long hair and smiled. I froze when I saw her expressive brown eyes. She reminded me so much of Bella and the shy glances Bella used to give me.
After seeing the little girl, I had to stop. I could not carry out my plan. I was ashamed at my willingness to harm innocent people to accomplish my own selfish desire. Even in my darkest moments, I never had harmed an innocent person. What would Bella think of me if she knew how close I had come to doing something so deplorable? I could not bear the thought that she was somewhere looking down on me and seeing my monstrous nature. I knew then that I needed to come up with a new plan – one that would not cause any harm to anyone other than myself.
I wandered away from the marketplace to find someplace quiet to think. When I reached the empty piazza adjacent to the Palazzo dei Priori, I noticed a couple cloaked individuals watching me from a distance. It appeared that Aro was intent on keeping me under a close watch while I remained in Volterra. I knew that I would have to be careful not to give away my plans in advance.
The large square was draped with blood red cloth in preparation for the Saint Marcus day festivities. At this hour, the square was still deserted, but in just a couple hours I knew it would be filled with tourists and residents all waiting to celebrate the holiday. I stopped to peruse one of the large placards scattered throughout the square announcing the timing of the day's festivities. The celebration was scheduled to begin at 9:00 a.m. and continue throughout the day and into the evening. According to the placard, a reenactment of Father Marcus driving the vampires from the city was scheduled to take place in the square at noon.
I looked up when the bells in the old clock tower of the Palazzo dei Priori began to toll the time. The sound of the bells echoed loudly throughout the empty square. The sun started to peak over the horizon, but it looked like the city walls would keep the square in shadow for a couple more hours. Just then, the perfect solution to my predicament came to me. I remembered telling Bella the first time she saw me sparkling in the sun that I would stop traffic if humans saw me walking down the street in that state. That was all I had to do to anger the Volturi – I could simply step into the sunshine in front of the hordes of tourists celebrating Saint Marcus day. At noon, the square would be full of people waiting to see the reenactment and the pealing of the bells in the clock tower would be loud enough to grab everyone's attention. If I exposed my unnatural nature at that time, even Aro would not be able to justify allowing me to survive.
I noticed a small alley conveniently located next to the clock tower. I could hide there until the appropriate time. With only a few more hours left to me in the world, I planned to spend them reliving my happy memories of Bella. She alone would keep me company until the end. I simply needed to evade the Volturi guard until the opportune moment for my display. One way or another, everything would be decided at noon.
