"We're shooting the scene where I swallow your heart and you make me
spit it up again. I swallow your heart and it crawls
right out of my mouth.
You swallow my heart and flee, but I want it back now, baby. I want it back."
― Richard Siken
—
Rain was in Sirius' hair. Over his shoulder was slung his Nimubs 1500, his trunk held a small bag of money, a minimal collection of clothes, the two way mirror, and little else. In his hand, concealed from the London muggles, was his wand. His face bore two bruises – one on his eye, the other below his chin. Both were sore and bloody, but he hadn't had time to clean them before his father came around. His mother had wailed at him, Regulus had just sat there and watched him leave. There was something lost about his brother that made Sirius want to pick him up and take him too. But he'd never leave – Regulus would never leave.
Thoughts came to him – he could go to the leaky cauldron, get a job in Diagon alley and stay there until Hogwarts started. It wouldn't be much, but it would be better than the noble and most ancient house of Black. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind, and only one stuck. He could go and find relatives. He could confound a muggle into letting him stay in their hotel for free. But after every thought came James. James will help him.
It was with a deep breath that he held out his wand into the road, and awaited the Knight Bus. It came with a growl that the drunkards didn't notice, and he hopped on, paid the fee and told them James' address. He was soaking wet, freezing cold and bloody, so it was no wonder than Ernie Rhodes; the conductor, gave him a funny look. Two elderly witches were allowed off first, one in Godric's Hollow, another Diagon Alley. Sirius was the last on the bus, but he only had to wait ten minutes until the bus stopped outside James' manor house in Cardiff.
Sirius stepped off of the bus and looked at the gates. Pushing them quietly open, Sirius allowed himself entrance, walked up to the door and knocked. It was Grace Potter who answered the door wearing a dressing gown and looking obviously miffed that someone had woken her. She saw Sirius and all at once embraced him in the kind of hug he had only ever known from her. Though he was wet, she held him like a son, invited him in and ordered the house elves to get them some hot chocolate. It was strange; Sirius thought in hindsight, that she didn't call for James or her husband immediately. She mothered him alone, as though he was hers, not just James'.
The woman gave him some ice and some dragon's blood for his bruises and fed him biscuits. Not once did she ask how they had happened – not once did she comment on his trunk, or his broom, or his soaking wet state. She simply saw to his injuries, both physical and emotional. After two hours, when his wounds were all but healed Grace showed him kindly to the room which the entire family considered to be his, and let him sleep there until two o'clock the next afternoon.
It was James who eventually came into his room, wielding a plate of toast and pumpkin juice. Sirius woke at the opening of the door, and forced his sore eye open. When he saw James the two just looked at each other, in a very humourless way. They were brothers, and the questions that had not been asked were unnecessary to ask – because James knew that Sirius would tell him if he wanted to, and Sirius knew that James didn't need to know what had happened. The bruises on his face were invisible accessories, inhibiting his facial expression, but disillusioned none the less.
"Mum made waffles, but they got cold. She'll probably make more if you want, but we're having this huge feast for tea," James explained happily as he sat at the end of his brother's bed.
"Merlin, Prongs – what time is it?" Sirius asked.
"Half two, but who's counting?" the other boy joked. Sirius gobbled up the toast and happily drank the pumpkin juice. "We're going to Godric's Hollow tomorrow, by the way,"
"Oh," Sirius muttered. "I'll be gone by then, don't worry,"
"Are you kidding? I am not going to that village alone!" James exclaimed. "Bathilda Bagshot keeps trying to give me stale lemon cake,"
"That sounds horrendous. I'm glad to see that misery loves company," Sirius agreed. And just like that the Potters gained a new family member. For the rest of the summer the boys would live together, holiday with one another – Alex Potter insisted on buying Sirius' books and robes for Hogwarts – they visited neighbours together and the three Potters slowly managed to put Sirius Black together, piece by piece.
—
Lily had spent the first hour of the train journey crammed in the prefect's compartment, listening to the new Head Boy (Frank Longbottom) and overly enthusiastic Head Girl (Meg Diggory) discussing their roles for the upcoming year, and what their duties would be. As she had been a prefect for a year already, much of the information was not new to her, so she sat watching the city turn to fields, wondering when she could go and find her friends. Severus Snape sat across the compartment from her, but her eyes never strayed to him. Finally the lecture was done and they were allowed to leave. Patting Frank on the back in congratulations, she followed Remus down the other end of the train. The Gryffindor's would probably be sat together anyway.
"Meg's a bit…" Lily started, unsure how she planned on finishing the sentence. Meg had been a prefect last year, though neither of them had spoken to her. She was clearly very enthused by her new role and had interrupted Frank at every opportunity.
"Enthusiastic? She's a Hufflepuff though – this might be the first Hufflepuff Head Girl ever," Remus said with laughter. It was unlike him to poke fun at anyone, but it would make sense.
"She seems nice enough," Lily smiled.
"Don't worry Evans, it'll be you next year," a familiar voice joked from behind. Whilst this time last year Lily may have shot him a sour look and stormed off, she felt their friendship had grown over the last few months and now that only warranted a slight whack. Grinning Lily turned to see James – he hadn't changed since he'd seen her last, but then again that had only been a week ago, when they had all met up in Diagon Alley to shop and catch up. The shock of the end of term was still fresh to Lily, but the sadness that had been evident on the boy's face had all but faded. He beckoned them both into the compartment, where their friends were sitting around.
"Oh no, I very much doubt that Potter. I reckon it'll be Mary next year. She wants it the most," Lily said. Emmeline looked up as Lily spoke. She smiled awkwardly – since their lapse in friendship at the end of the last term they hadn't been as close as they had once been, though sometimes one of them would forget it and say something almost normal. That was the hardest thing, Lily thought, remembering how everything had been. They had only rekindled their friendship at the death of one of Lily's very close friends, which had encouraged her not to let anyone she cared about go. That did not count for Severus though – she reminded herself bi-daily.
"Oh yeah, Mary's been crazy about that since fourth year. Hi Lil," she said kindly.
"But Evans has been crazy since birth," James said. Lily laughed in response and hit him lightly on the arm.
"Wait, you're not going to kill him for that?" Peter said, as shocked as everyone else in the compartment. Mary looked actually concerned.
"Not really – he's only joking," Lily rationed.
"Only slightly," James laughed, and again Lily said nothing. Sirius looked completely confused.
"Is this the real Lily Evans, or is it some Slytherin using Polyjuice?" Emmeline asked seriously.
"Calm down guys, it's me!" Lily exclaimed.
"Prove it," Sirius said firmly, his eyes squinting suspiciously at her. She couldn't believe they were serious about this.
"Err- James has a birthmark on his right hip bone," was the first thing that came to mind. When she'd realized she'd said that out loud she flushed a bright red colour. Even more amusing, however, was James, Remus, Sirius and Peter all nodding thoughtfully.
"That's her," they said in unison.
Emmeline, who hadn't been there to enjoy Lily's embarrasment at the time, screetched "What?"
"Long story short: Lily slept in my bed, and then couldn't get the image of all this out of her head for days after," James gestured to his whole body. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Did you just phrase that to sound as bad as you possibly could, Potter?" Lily sighed.
"So you two…" Emmeline left the sentence hanging.
"No!" Lily exclaimed. Emmeline looked on incredulously, and it was only when Lily turned to see James smiling and raising his eyebrows suggestively that she understood why. She whacked him slightly less lightly that time. "James,"
"No, we did not…" James admitted finally.
"But you did other stuff?" Emmeline continued.
"Blood hell, Vance," Mary scoffed. "You were hanging out with Parkinson too long,"
"Oh come on, Lily said herself he was a much finer kisser than Snape, and that Hufflepuff kid from third year,"
"And Amos," Lily added, though not quite sure why. The look on James' face was weird, and Lily couldn't understand it. He was half smiling, half not.
"Amos? When did you kiss Amos?" Sirius asked, suddenly incredibly interested.
"Oh, a couple of days ago I realized I was completely out of robes that fit me, so I had to go to Madam Malkin's, where I bumped into Amos Diggory, who I joined for an ice cream, and he walked me to the robe shop and kissed me. It was more than a bit unexpected and disturbing," Lily explained. "I said thanks very much Amos, but please don't do that again,"
"I swear he, Donna and Gilderoy have a weird threesome going on," James laughed.
"Oh, that's wrong!" Emmeline chuckled.
"I have one question," Remus said. "Why was James' birthmark the first thing that came to mind?" Lily went redder than she had ever thought possible.
"I just … erm… ," Lily stuttered, and thankfully spotted the trolley heading towards her. She jumped out of the corridor and ordered a handful of chocolate frogs, wishing the trolley attendant to take as long as possible. She stood there for a second, allowing the air to cool her face from its deep shade of magenta. Unfortunately Trolley Lady had aced Trolley-Lady-Class and handed her back her money in record timing. It was all Lily could do before composing herself and going back to her friends.
Upon opening the compartment door she found the conversation matter had turned back to what Emmeline and Sirius had been in a heated discussion about before their arrival. That turned out to be whether being a hit wizard was a noble profession or not. Emmeline thought not, but Sirius told her to stop "shitting on my dreams".
Peter, who had always been strung on every word either James or Sirius said, fought valiantly with Sirius to say that some wizards need to be killed, and you have got to have someone to do that, whereas Remus (possibly the most humane out of the group) sided awkwardly with Em, who voted that it was wrong. Their relationship had been rockier than hers and Lily's, but she was really working hard at not judging him. It was something – Lily credited her.
James Potter on the other hand, was sat out of the conversation, looking up at Lily with a kind of awe. She sat beside him (as it was the furthest seat away from the shouting) and handed him a chocolate frog. He accepted gratefully. He read the card casually, though his eyes didn't move.
"So Diggory, eh?" James hinted.
"Honestly, I don't know where he got the idea that I'd want to kiss him. I only went to speak to him because he looked so lonely," Lily sighed. "It's quite annoying,"
"Being kissed all the time?" James asked, munching on the head of a chocolate frog.
"Yes – especially when I don't want to be kissed. He tasted like liquorice wands. I hate liquorice wands,"
"FIND YOUR HUMANITY BLACK!" Emmeline shouted.
"DON'T BLACK ME, YOUR MOTHER WAS A BLACK!" Sirius yelled.
"What did I taste like?" James whispered.
"Butterbeer," Lily admitted, equally quietly. "That time,"
"That time?" James was smiling, but his voice was still low. It was a wonder she could hear him over all the shouting, until she realised that they were very close together now.
"Well, once like chocolate," her eyes were unintentionally on his mouth. She remembered what it was like and was suddenly struck with how much she had missed him. She knew the contours of his lips like her own. And then he was leaning in, closing that infinitesimal gap that separated them, and she was pressing her lips to James' which were parted slightly in surprise. With the remains of the frog still on his mouth he tasted like chocolate again, and Lily thought she should tell Mary later. Except that there would be no need to tell anyone, because when she pulled back for air, and her eyes fluttered open to see James smiling at her, she realised that the compartment was silent but for the sound of the train on the tracks.
Then the door opened.
"Well Lily, I never thought I'd see the day you'd stoop so low," a painfully familiar voice said. She needn't have turned to see the owner: a tall, hook nosed, black eyed and haired boy with sallow skin and a book beneath his arm. "I came to tell you and Remus that we are to guide everyone to the carriages when the train stops, and instead I get to see you making a complete fool of yourself," Severus looked like he could punch James, who in turn donned smug smile. His hands were in fists, one of which was gripped around his wand.
"Snivellus," Sirius warned, obviously scared for him rather than angry at him. James rarely saw Snape in the last few weeks of the fifth year without wanting to hex him silly. All three of the Marauders were ready to subdue James if it came to it. If that was the case, Lily thought she might just hex him herself.
"Don't worry Snape – I'll try not to contaminate James with my dirty blood," she retorted and stood up, shutting the glass door in his face.
When he stormed off, Lily (without looking at anyone else in the compartment) grabbed her luggage and her owl and walked off wearily in the other direction, her heart hammering inside her ribcage. Severus was right – she had made a total fool of herself. Her and James had an unwritten contract that he wouldn't ask her out anymore. After Ophelia's death they had been each other's safety; neither of them should ruin that with romantic delusions.
A whole summer she had managed not to walk the five minute walk to his house, throw a rock at the window behind the house and wait for him to come outside. A whole summer she had contented to stay inside studying, or visiting her friends in London, or spending the days with her mother and Petunia (who wanted her there as much as she wanted to be there) as they planned the upcoming wedding. Now she felt rotten – why had she kissed Potter? Was it just to get back at Snape that she had attempted this friendship with the boy? Was she really that petty?
The train slowed down just as she stumbled upon Marlene, her new boyfriend Asher Coldman, Adam and his new girlfriend Vienna Pierro. Over the summer Marlene had used a potion to turn her hair golden blonde, which suited her so well. She'd explained to Lily during their trip to Diagon Alley that her and Adam had become so close over their flirting sessions that neither one of them had wanted to ruin it with a relationship – hence Asher and Vienna.
Not really wanting to talk, she slipped past the compartment and to the bathroom, where she quickly threw her Hogwarts robes (prefect badge and all), and joined the large groups of students jumping into the warm September air. Lily spotted Emmeline craning her head over the crowd, so she ducked between a huddle of tall nostalgic seventh years. She figured she was safe from his view behind these people, so she ushered everyone towards the carriages pulled by the invisible horses.
She saw all of her friends, bar Remus who was mirroring her own movements, taking a seat in a carriage, which (when full) slowly followed the others into the night sky. Sirius sat with Emmeline, Peter with Donna, Marlene with Asher. Mary sat next to a miserable looking fourth year Slytherin, pulling a similar face. She guessed the others had gone on without her. With her eyes searching the platform, seeing nothing but prefects, she was ready to head towards the castle herself, when a black silhouette through the train window caught her eye. Maybe a first year was having trouble with their bags?
Jumping through one of the doors, she scanned all of the compartments and saw no source of the movement. She would assume she had imagined it, but the shadow had been quite vivid and bulky- something no trick of the light could create. She turned to get off the train, and hopefully bag a seat next to Remus when she was hit in the stomach with a curse. Pain rippled through her, and tore at her nerve system. Somewhere very far away she heard a cackling laughter and her own piercing scream.
The pain stopped very suddenly with a flash of purple light. She caught her last scream in her throat, and forced her eyes open. She was lying on the floor of the train, and her head pounded. Just to her left she saw a mound of cloak collapse onto the seat and fall still. Attempting to sit up Lily felt her stomach roll with nausea and she fell back to the floor.
"Lily?" a worried voice called from above her. She barely recognized it, but it was there – worried and strong. She passed into the darkness before James Potter could pick her up in his arms.
—
When she woke up she was back on the platform, but she was alone. She looked over to the train and the shadow was back. Readying herself, she stood up, picked her wand from her robes and went back into the train. Pulling aside a curtain she hadn't been aware of before she dove onto the train and started hexing the place where the shadow had appeared from. When she finally got a look of the compartment there was an angry looking hippopotamus growling at her. James was riding the hippo happily, wearing a full tuxedo and top hat.
What a strange thing for James to be doing. She told him to get down off the hippo – it might be a Death Eater. But James calmed her and assured Lily that the hippo was not an evil one – that it just wanted to be their friend. Lily knew that couldn't be right. She didn't trust the giant grey thing, and refused to join James atop his mighty stallion. Annoyed, James jumped off the hippo and floated towards her – he was now a patronus. He was saying something to her that sounded like 'too late,' and he left the train. Lily glared at the hippo and chased him, but the creature followed her.
On the platform it was bright – really bright – and James was walking away – quite a distance from her. She ran forwards, but her legs thrashed against the concrete and refused to walk her anywhere. The hippo was laughing at her, saying the only way to travel was by hippo-back. Lily finally agreed to ride the hippo – she needed to get to James after all – and jumped on the creatures back. As soon as she did so however, it shrunk and turned to the body of a boy, kneeling. It was Snape. Horrified, Lily jumped off and ran for her life – this time catching James who took her face in his hands and leant in for a kiss.
—
Healer Holloway was rather alarmed when his patient (far from behaving like a normal unconscious person) was trashing around her cot and then suddnely began leaning in towards him for a kiss as he attempted to take her temperature – James laughed out loud.
"She is a vivid dreamer. May I?" James asked; the healer didn't know what the boy wanted, but he back off of the girl. James stroked the side of Lily's face with his fingertips – just lightly. "Time to wake up, Lily," he whispered. The effect was as instant as enervate. One minute her eyelids were shut and she was unresponsive and the next she flung her eyes wide open, sat bolt upright (head butting James in the process) and screamed out.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST THE HIPPO!"
"What?" he asked her incredulously.
"You… the hippo… it was Snape…" she mumbled, falling back onto her pillow.
"It was a dream, Lily," James soothed her – his hand brushed softly though her hair as she caught her breath. "Just a bad dream,"
"How did you know it was bad?" Lily asked.
"You said Snape was in it. It was hardly going to be like one of the dreams you have about me," James laughed with a cheeky wink. Lily reached out to whack him, but he caught her hand in his and squeezed it gently. "I'll get Holloway back," he told her and went off. James returned seconds later with the healer who insisted on looking over her. They didn't know what curse she'd been hit with, but it was better safe than sorry.
All the while, James waited patiently, twiddling his thumbs and mussing his hair in nervous anticipation. The more she was poked and prodded the more he would bounce his leg, or bite his lip. Finally she was cleared of any lasting physical damage and they were told that they could make it for pudding if they walked at a safe pace to the Great Hall.
"You feeling okay?" James asked as they left the Hospital Wing. He tried to keep his concern out of his voice, but barely.
"I'm fine – just confused – what happened?" Lily questioned. She wasn't sure what she had dreamt or what was reality.
"Well, I waited behind because I wanted to talk to you away from everyone else – and I saw you go back onto the train, so I followed you. There was this cloaked figure there and you were withering, almost like the cruciatus curse, but not quite. So I attacked him, ran to you, but he'd gone by the time I looked up. I sent Prongs to Dumbledore, and carried you to a carriage," James explained to her as he led their way, past the Great Hall. Lily stopped, confused.
"Where're we going?" she asked.
"To the kitchens – you'll need a proper meal," he told her.
"Right – brilliant," she said as she followed him down the corridors, her voice warm. "So you didn't get a glimpse of the guy?"
"Or girl," James corrected her. "No, I didn't- it was awful, seeing you there like that,"
"It was no Yule Ball for me either," Lily retorted.
"Why are you getting defensive at that?" James exclaimed. "Earlier I called you mental and not a beep – now I tell you that seeing you hurt literally broke every ounce of sanity I cling to and you try and start an argument?"
"I don't know… it's… the way you said it…" Lily attempted at an explanation, but none would come, and James had upped his pace to be walking a way ahead of her. Not that it was hard with the pace she was walking.
"What? Made it sound like I hated seeing you at all?" James muttered sarcastically.
"Yes actually!" Lily shrieked. James stopped walking and spun. He looked down at her, raw with emotion.
"Lily – when you are going to understand, that it's always going to be you?" James whispered. "We're brought together by a magic that scares me not to understand. But in the end – in the last few seconds of life that either of us will hold – it's going to be you, and it's going to be me,"
"James…"
"I know you think it too – how could you not? I tried… pushing you away last year when I thought you were in danger. I tried just being friends. But that's not us Lily – us as just friends is more wrong than the sun rising in the west. Tell me you don't agree," he begged. Slowly leaning forwards he closed the silent gap and kissed her. "Tell me I'm imagining it," he kissed her cheek bone. "Tell me you feel nothing,"
Her stomach rumbled. Suddenly James went from intensely serious, to barking out laughter. "Okay, I get it – the lady is hungry!" Lily blushed – but smiled at him. He returned it, and took it as a sign to slide his fingers through hers. Lily didn't pull away.
—
They had armfuls of leftover food from the feast in a little bag that James transfigured from a coat button, and they joined the throngs of Gryffindors heading up to their Common Room. Emmeline caught Lily's eye and mouthed "where were you?" but Lily just shrugged as if to say later. Throughout the trek (being shoved by numerous first and second years) James and Lily stayed together and though their hands were no longer intertwined they were held next to each other, occasionally brushing against one another and showing Lily nerve endings she never knew existed.
They reached the common room and the first to third years all went off to bed – Sirius stole the sofa at once, before Frank Longbottom could sit on it to make out with Alice. James, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Emmeline and the other two Marauders joined him around the fireplace – some in armchairs, some on each other's laps, and Lily and James with their picnic on the floor as James explained what had happened since their absence. Thankfully no one mentioned why Lily had ran off on her own, or why James had been so conveniently around to save her. Then it hit her – he'd wanted to talk to her – but what about? He hadn't mentioned it down by the kitchens or on the entire trek up, and when saying that he was worried about Lily, he glazed over the fact that he wanted to talk to her.
She was about to ask him about it when an unfamiliar person threw themselves on top of James. Far from being surprised about this occurrence, the Marauder grinned and rolled about happily with the mysterious figure. Sirius was laughing too, though Lily was pleased to see that the rest of their group looked as confused as she felt. Had there been another Gryffindor they didn't know about this whole time?
"Hugo!" James laughed. "I wondered when you'd show up,"
"Dumbledore wanted to consult with me before I settled in," Hugo stole the space between James and Lily, and helped himself to a sandwich. He had golden blonde hair, and skin almost the same hue. When he looked at Lily she saw that his big blue eyes were smiling along with his pink lips.
"Hugo was privately educated up until now," James explained with a grin, obviously noticing their shared confusion.
"I thought you looked a bit…" Mary pondered for the word. Lily could think of a hundred. "old… to be a first year,"
"So why are you transferring this year?" Remus asked.
"Sorry, but I feel awfully rude not knowing any of your names," Hugo said. He spoke with an accent that Lily couldn't place, though it was very well spoken and very like James. "I am Hugin Prosperous Dagwood, but please call me Hugo," he looked at Mary who blushed. "And who might you be?"
"Mary MacDonald,"
"Marlene Fray,"
"Fantastic," Hugo said sincerely, grinning from ear to ear. A quick glance at James, and Lily saw that he too wore the same excited grin.
"Emmeline Vance,"
"Peter Pettigrew,"
"Remus Lupin,"
"Sirius Black you ponce – we went camping last year," Sirius yelled at the boy, who laughed by throwing his head back in the same way that Sirius did.
"I was just kidding Sirius – and this must be the lovely and infamous Lily Evans?" Hugo asked, turning to her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't gone red. Nodding, Lily attempted a smile.
"I'm not sure about the adjectives, but yes, I'm Lily," she mumbled.
"I've heard a lot about you," he informed her. Behind him, it was James' turn to blush.
"Well I can only hope to live up to my legend," Lily joked.
"You already do," he smiled.
"So, Hugo – why move now?" Mary asked shyly.
"My father passed," Hugo said – his face had become somewhat reserved. "My mother had always wanted me to have a more mainstream education, but father insisted that it was the Dagwood way to be…"
"Raised by wolves," James interrupted.
"Partially – the wolves is a metaphor that James is using. I suppose you should all find out sooner than later that Dagwood; though a private family, is known for its interest in the Dark Arts," Hugo said. There was no sadness or embarrassment, nor pride or supremacy on his face – he was a blank canvas. This fact was neither a good thing, nor a bad thing – it was simply Hugo accepting his past. Lily thought about Sirius; rumour had it that he'd moved in with James over the holiday, though she hadn't had a chance to confirm this with either of the boys yet.
"You scared them," James laughed. "Anyway, where were we before I was attacked so rudely?"
Lily thought about what she'd wanted to ask him, but thought better of it. Something about the air had changed - that much was evident from everyone's expressions and body languages. Lily stretched.
"I think I might get to bed," she said. "Big day tomorrow,"
"Why, are you going to start revising for NEWTS?" Sirius joked. Lily hit him over the head.
"If you hadn't forgotten, I've been brutally injured today. Not two hours ago was I lying fatally ill in the infirmary!" Lily exclaimed. "Night,"
Lily went straight to her bed without unpacking, removing only a pair of pyjamas from her trunk. It appeared that Donna and Charlotte were having a muffiloed gossip on Donna's bed, so she wasn't disturbed until the morning sun woke her.
—
By the time the sixth year boys retreated to their dormitory, a sixth bed had appeared, and the room seemed to have grown to accommodate it. Hugo took that bed as his, though they got little sleep. The Marauder's were coaching the new boy in all thing Hogwarts – from which girls were untouchable (Lily and Emmeline) to which teachers don't mind if you're late (Kettleburn) – as a result of which the six boys woke up at 8 o'clock feeling groggy and tired. Remus vowed that only four cups of black tea would remedy this, and dragged them to the Great Hall.
Alert as ever at the start of a new school year (fresh parchment, new quills to dip into untouched pots of ink and the possibility of becoming a witch-genius), Lily was one of the first down to breakfast, croissant in hand. The five boys (Adam McKinnon had run off to see his girlfriend) joined her half-heartedly somewhat later than the rest of the school.
"Did you kill all of your dorm mates last night?" Sirius yawned, noticing that indeed, all of the girls were missing.
"It's the first day back," Lily reminded Sirius as some form of explanation.
"And that means that breakfast is unnecessary?"
"No – but it does mean that perfectly curled or straightened hair, brilliant and over the top make up and the slaggiest robes Madam Malkin could muster up is necessary," James joked – Hugo found this particularly funny.
"How was your first night?" Lily politely asked the new boy.
"Exhausting – these lads could be the spokespeople for Hogwarts," Hugo chuckled. Lily grinned.
"Tell me about it – on the train in first year Potter was going on about how Gryffindor is highly superior in every way,"
"This ranged from the houses – to the house elves, to the food, to the lessons, to the teachers, to the students, to the girls – we spoke about girls a lot – to the gits," Hugo explained as all of the boys dished out their breakfast.
"Snape?" Lily said sourly. Hugo looked up.
"How'd you guess?"
"Call it a hunch," she repeated with the same tone and ripped her croissant in half. "When do you think McGonagall will hand out our timetables?"
"Calm down Lil," Sirius teased. "A woman has to eat her muesli,"
"I don't think Minerva is quite the muesli woman, you know Padfoot?" James interjected. "I think more of a yoghurt and fruit lass,"
"Ahh, nooo," said Remus in a mimicking Scottish accent. "In the highlands it's the haggis for breakfast, lunch and dinner!"
"Haggis is actually one of my least favourite things, Mr Lupin. My breakfasting consists of that which I find edible," McGonagall said as she stood over the boys, listening into their conversation.
"Sorry Professor…" Remus blushed.
"Timetables!" she announced. "Miss Evans-" she said and with a flick of her wand a piece of paper appeared in the air. Lily grabbed it and looked down. Double Potions, lunch, Charms, Transfiguration – she noted happily. She went to look over the rest of the week, but the paper was rudely snatched out of her hands by James Potter.
"Identical timetables, Evans!" he informed her happily. Lily glared and stole her timetable back (along with his).
"No… I want to be an Auror; you want to be a drop out," Lily fussed.
"Is she always this charming?" Hugo inquired.
"Oh you should hear her sonnet – Ode to Potter. 'James you're arrogant, But a fantastic chaser, Please make out with me…'" James laughed.
"That was a haiku dumbass," Lily muttered. James hadn't lied – their timetable was lesson for lesson the same. Fair enough - she didn't hate James; in fact, it was probably fair to say that she did like him quite a bit, but he was a very… exhausting force in her day to day life. If he was to be there 24/7 she might have to rip her hair out (which he'd probably ask to keep to try out voodoo). "It's official – McGonagall has gone mad,"
"Why do you say that?" James asked concerned.
"She's helping you stalk me, and I don't agree with it!"
"Lilypad, you might be fit but I'm not going to take double Potions just so I can watch you from the back of a classroom. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a lucky bonus; but James Potter in not the moon that revolves around Lily Evans," James informed her. She felt her heart sink a little, so minutely so that she barely noticed it. "I too, am applying for the Auror programme, if you must know,"
"What? Why?" Sirius demanded.
"Because my dad's making me apply,"
"Bullshit," Hugo called. "Alex wouldn't do that – he's not my dad,"
"I agree with Hugo," Peter chipped in. "I've met your dad and he's all for you being the youngest Quidditch captain in a century,"
"You're all awful friends, can we drop it? I have to go grab my Potions book and then get to the dungeon. Coming Lily?" James offered, as he stood up to leave. Sirius and the other Marauders looked perplexed. In truth Lily already had packed all of her books to avoid such a journey, but she wanted to grill James on what this was all about. That and what he wanted to talk to her about yesterday. Getting rid of her heavy and useless books would be a bonus.
"Sure thing," she agreed with a smile and wiggled out from the table.
"You already have your bag," Sirius pointed out, even more confused at the events unfolding.
"Shut it, Black," she said, whacking him over the head as she followed James from the hall.
James walked confidently, looking up ahead, but stealing the occasional look at Lily every few seconds. Eventually they caught each other's eyes between stolen glances and laughed.
"Potter, what did you want to talk to me about yesterday?" Lily blurted out, unaware that she had actually been so curious.
"I was going to start with small talk," James admitted, going somewhat red.
"Then hello, how're you?" Lily demanded.
"I'm great thanks, you?"
"Curious. Curious about what? I hear you ask. I am curious about what you wanted to talk to me about yesterday," Lily trailed off. James was laughing at her sadly. Suddenly the smile ended and he was looking at her seriously. It made her want to squirm.
"Lily… you know… can we not do this here?" James asked.
"Do what? I don't know what is being done," Lily vented. Grabbing her by the wrist, James led her from the path to the common room, into a small and deserted stairwell.
"Merlin, Lily. I never thought I'd be saying this to you," James tittered uncomfortably.
"Well you actually haven't said anything yet – so get it out,"
"I… you know I like you," James started.
"I think everyone is somewhat aware of that fact. Yeah, that's right Mr Blushing – I remember your attempts to woo me!" Lily snapped. "Continue,"
"You're not making this easy," James squirmed. "You know any guy would be mad not to want to date you… but I can't do that with you. Not right now," Lily looked into his eyes – replaying his words in her head, trying to make meaning of them.
"Yesterday, you said…" Lily stuttered, attempting to make him change his words. If she could remind him of the episode outside of the kitchens, maybe he'd realise that a bit of dating was just what he needed. It wasn't clear to Lily Evans in that moment that she had just experienced her first heartbreak in a trilogy of Potter heartbreaks, but it was the case.
"That was horrible of me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. Forgive me?" he pleaded. "I just… needed to know,"
"Know what?" she questioned – hadn't he wanted to know if she liked him? Hadn't she agreed with him?
"That you didn't feel the same way about me," James told her sadly. His brown eyes were dilated and sad.
"Who are you to judge that?" demanded the red head. "Who are you to decide how I feel about you?"
"If you like me, you've liked me for, what? A few weeks. You just broke up with Snape…"
"I didn't break up with Snape," Lily growled.
"You basically did Lily. Not in the romantic sense, but he was this huge figure in your life – someone smart who would adore you and listen to you and… I'm not going to be the replacement Severus,"
"But it's not like that," Lily begged, wishing him to see it.
"Evans – this isn't even about you. Like I said earlier – you're gorgeous,"
"You never said gorgeous," Lily pointed out.
"It was implied," James laughed. Lily didn't join in on the joke.
"Right," she sighed sarcastically.
"But this whole teenager crush thing is going to have to die out, okay? I used to think that any form of love from you would be enough, but it's not," he informed her.
"James, I…" she started to confess that she had a lot more than a little feeling for him, but stumbled on the words. James waited, sadly triumphant, until she gave up on her mangled tongue.
"You can't even say it," he half laughed.
"That doesn't mean I don't…" she started.
"I think it does. Look, Lily – I want to concentrate on my work this year. I really do want to commit to being an Auror, and no, not because my dad thinks I should. But because I want to fight. To do that I need to knuckle down, and stop pining after you. You can't say it won't be a relief," Lily thought of that pounding ache in her stomach, which was growing the more she understood his words.
"Right… yeah – of course," she sighed – she couldn't contest that.
"I mean… we can still make out if you want? But honestly, I think I could…" his words hung in the air, unfinished. In her head Lily formulated a thousand possible endings, until she realised which he meant.
"Find someone better," she finished for him. James was about to rectify this, but Lily interrupted. "Sirius was right, I have all my books – I'm just going to go straight to the dungeons. See you later,"
Lily didn't go straight to the dungeons. She had fifteen minutes to get there and really didn't want to arrive to find James waiting outside of the door, so made a detour that would ensure her arrival was the same time as Slughorn's and not a second earlier. Walking down the Charms corridor she was sure that there was no way in which James would happen upon her, so she pushed open the door into a broom closet and fell against the wall. A mop fell down next to her but she ignored it. As long as Filch didn't feel the need to search this cupboard for some cleaning products she figured that she was pretty much alone.
The first tear fell in the same strangled manner as the last, and the thousand in between. How strange – she thought to herself – she had rejected James entirely more harshly than he had just done. This felt worse – it was a cruel kind of torture, and it crossed her mind on more than one occasion that maybe he had done it on purpose. Had he been there for her, been kind to her, kissed her and made her want him purely to hurt her like this? Did he even know the effect he had on her?
She had only been crying quietly to herself for five minutes, when the cupboard door opened and a slither of light hit her face. The person at the door sighed, closed the door and sat beside her. In the darkness it was hard to tell who it was – male, that was obvious from the silhouette – not James, somehow she knew that for certain. It was only when he spoke that she knew who it was.
"I might be new here, but I don't think it's customary for pretty girls to cry in broom closets," the newly familiar voice of Hugo Dagwood asked softly. Lily felt herself blush – this was hardly a good first impression.
"I'm pretty sure this is more Beauxbatons behaviour," Lily admitted with a wet smile that he couldn't see. Thank goodness – she thought.
"James is an idiot," Hugo informed her as if she didn't know.
"He told you about his plans last night, I assume?" she sniffled.
"Oh no – quite the opposite. He warned me off of you, which granted I thought odd behaviour. I was hardly going to go after his girlfriend,"
"I'm not his girlfriend," she protested sadly.
"I know – I followed you both after breakfast," Hugo admitted. Taken aback all Lily could think was that he had seen her be rejected. Only one thing is worse than sadness itself, and that is for someone to know you're sad.
"You heard it?" she mumbled.
"I did – but I don't think he meant it," he reached out blindly into the darkness and stroked her upper arm.
"It sounded pretty final to me," she disagreed glumly.
"James is… he has bad history," Hugo started, but Lily interrupted.
"I know about all of that. He knows I don't mind," she told him.
"Well maybe he thinks you should mind? Maybe he doesn't want to force himself on you when he sees himself as a killer,"
"He's not a killer!" she yelled too loudly for someone attempting to be inconspicuous in a broom cupboard.
"Some do the deed with many tears, and some without a sigh: For each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man does not die," Hugo quoted.
"Oscar Wilde?" Lily questioned, certain she knew the rhyme from somewhere.
"You know Oscar Wilde?" he asked her, surprised.
"Muggleborn…" she explained. "You?"
"My father thought it imperative to be well read. There is only a small amount of classical books written by wizards so occasionally I had to read muggle literature. Oscar Wilde he approved of,"
"So what did you mean by it?" asked Lily.
"James is a killer, because of what he has done to you – the thing he loves,"
"He doesn't," Lily spat. "That much is obvious,"
"I disagree wholeheartedly. He might just need you to wait – prove that he's worth waiting for," Hugo explained.
"What? That's ridiculous," Lily exclaimed.
"How long has he waited for you to come around?" he asked slyly, making her shut up. "Or maybe he meant it,"
"Right – thanks," she mumbled.
"I'm just suggesting things. Do you see yourself with him in a years' time? Ten? Fifty?"
"I'm sixteen years old…" Lily laughed.
"Maybe he's right – you can't even admit to liking him. He has a lot of love to give – but he needs the same amount in return,"
Lily was actually a little late to Potions due to her little chat with Hugo, but Slughorn didn't mind at all. He waved for her to sit down, and she slid into the seat beside Mary who wanted to become a Healer. Her friend shot her a questioning look. Had she arrived with James, she knew Mary would have sat with an all knowing and assuming face, but James had turned up five minutes earlier – straight faced, but otherwise fine. Lily looked pale and puffy eyed; a fact she hoped to conceal from Mr Potter.
Professor Slughorn trailed off talking about their NEWTs and the amount of dedication this qualification took, and that he was glad to see that all of his students had attained fairly good grades at OWL level. Lily doodled absentmindedly with a clean quill, scratching the wood away from the desk. After about seven minutes Slughorn had stopped talking and wrote instructions on the board. Continuing to scratch the desk, Lily was only aware at Severus Snape's presence at her desk when he cleared his throat.
"What is it Snape?" she snapped harshly. Mary was away getting them ingredients from the cupboard, and her job was apparently to cheer up and turn to the right page.
"Are you feeling ill?" he asked her.
"What? Why would I be feeling ill?"
"You're pale…" he pointed out. She glared at him.
"I'm always pale," James Potter sniggered from the table behind her. It was all she could do to stop herself turning around and punching him in the face, until she noticed that Remus had actually just told him a joke.
"Paler than normal, and your eyes are red and puffy," he continued. She hoped James couldn't hear – she wanted to kick Severus in the head.
"Yes, thank you," she said pointedly.
"Have… have you been crying?" he questioned her.
"I hardly think that is any of your business," Lily glared.
"Lily," he started, but she cut him short.
"Go away,"
"Go away," Mary repeated sternly as she returned to their desk. Lily tensed – she knew what courage it must've taken Mary to stand up to Severus like that – Severus who was friends with the boys that had attacked her all those years ago. Snape glared down at the girls and shuffled off to the other end of the dungeons where he sat next to Willy Widdershins. Sitting down, Mary leant into Lily and whispered "Are you okay, Lil?"
"Fine,"
"Have you and James fallen out? He was like a dementor when he came in here," Mary puzzled.
"No," but that did stump Lily. He looked fine now.
"Then what is it? If it is you and James I sure he'll get over what you said to him," the girl continued.
"Why would it be me saying things to him?" Lily demanded angrily.
"Well, he's hardly going to…"
"Just drop it okay?" Lily snapped. Mary, sadly agreed, and started concentrating on their potion. The whole room was almost silent of chatter, with only the sound of flickering fires and James Potter clowning around to Remus at the back of the room. He seemed fine – he didn't seem 'like a dementor' sucking the happiness out of the room. James Potter, as ever, was the paragon of happiness.
The minutes passed, and Lily finely chopped the ingredients and added them to the simmering cauldron that Mary was stirring. Slughorn told James off four times for messing around, and told him to get on with his work. When Lily unwillingly stole a look at the boys behind her it was Remus who was meticulously dropping things into their concoction, and James with a harsh grin plastered to his face. Finally, when the bell rang signalling lunch and the end of their double lesson, Lily quickly poured their potion into a vial and ran from the classroom, without waiting for Mary to pack up her books.
Not feeling particularly hungry, but certainly feeling the weight of all of her books in her bag, Lily decided to skip lunch and drop off all of her books in the Common Room, except Charms and Transfiguration which she'd need after lunch. Hurriedly rushing to the portrait of the Fat Lady, Lily sighed with relief when she saw that the Common Room was empty. Dashing up to her dorm she plonked onto her bed, removed her books from her bag and left them on her unmade bed. She still hadn't unpacked her trunk, which she decided to rectify as she had an hour to pass without allowing the temptation of the Great Hall take over her.
Sadly, her tidying didn't prove as good a distraction as she had hoped. Deciding that she wasn't going to look like a girl who had spent ten minutes crying in a broom cupboard and 3 hours cooking behind a cauldron, Lily went into her bathroom and took her hair from its pony tail. She combed the curls through and splashed her face with cold water. Though her eyes were no longer red and puffy, they were wide and sad – a fact she could do nothing about other than apply a thin layer of mascara.
Feeling slightly better, Lily arrived five minutes early for Charms, and was let into the classroom immediately by a smiling Professor Flitwick. He asked her how the summer had gone as the rest of the group filed in. Emmeline, Marlene and Mary all joined her at the table at the front – a place she figured she could avoid James Potter who would likely sit at the back and prat around. All of the girls were angry about something, which initially cheered Lily up – maybe she could listen to their rants rather than his pratting around. That was however, until she heard the subject of their anger.
"Bloody git!" Marlene yelled, enraged.
"What's up?" Lily asked.
"That sod has been taking his foul mood out on us!" Emmeline added.
"He was the same with Sirius as well," Mary rationalized. "He even snapped at Hugo,"
"Yeah? Well none of us have done anything wrong," Emmeline pointed out moodily.
"Face like a slapped arse all lunch – threatened to drop me from the team if I didn't stop asking where you were," Marlene continued.
"Where were you by the way?" Mary asked Lily. "You kind of ran out of Potions…"
"I wasn't really…"
"There he is!" Emmeline shouted. "Oi, Potter – what crawled up your ass and died?" Lily turned around by instinct to see James standing in the doorway with Hugo – both boys were grinning, though James more wildly than the latter. He didn't look like a boy with the face of a slapped arse, or a foul mood. He looked perfectly content to Lily. He caught her eye, his smile flickered, and she turned at once.
Luckily Flitwick insisted that Charms must be practised and learnt, and got on with the lesson. They were all blessed with a speech similar to Slughorn's – about the commitment necessary for NEWTs, and by the looks of her friends, Lily knew they too had suffered a similar lecture in their various lessons. When he had finally stopped talking, he told everyone to pair up and practise the charms they had learnt in their last term.
Lily was teamed with Marlene, much to her relief. Mary would've been asking how she was – guessing wild stories about what had happened between her and James, and Emmeline would have ranted about how he had ruined her lunch and not even noticed her hair cut. Marlene was pretty dedicated to perfecting accio, which Lily advised her on.
"No, change your wrist movement," Lily insisted.
"But the book says a left flick!" the girl moaned.
"The book is wrong! Trust me," Lily assured her. Marlene said the charm again, but with a different arm flick and at once the quill she had been fixated on across the classroom came flying towards her.
"Oi you prat, that's my quill!" an angry voice yelled across the classroom. Both girl's heads turned towards the voice, quick enough to see a wash of surprise, frustration and sadness, before he could compose his winning smile. "Oh Marly, can I have it back please?"
"Oh, now you'll smile? How about no – this is my quill now," Marlene growled angrily.
"Marlene, don't make me hex you," James threatened.
"Bring it, Potter!"
"I'll come over there!" he warned her. Lily felt worry rise in her stomach – she didn't want to be stood so close to James.
"Just give him back his quill, Marley," she whispered sternly.
"What? No!" Marlene rejected, glaring angrily still at James.
"Please," Lily begged. James took a step forwards, and Lily flinched.
"Accio!" a new voice murmured, until the quill shot out of Marlene's hands and flew into Hugo's. "Here you go, Potter," James' eyes flickered to Lily again, who looked away from him at once.
"Thanks Hugo – I'd have hated to hex a girl," James joked.
"There are other ways to hurt someone, James," Hugo muttered just loudly enough that had she not been eavesdropping she wouldn't have heard it.
When Flitwick told them to pack up and the bell chimed, Lily wondered how she'd get to Transfiguration on time without bumping into James. So thorough was her mind process that she didn't realise that he was stood in front of her as she attempted to leave the room. One arm was held across the doorway.
"Lily, are you okay?" he was smiling. He pushed his spare hand through his hair, mussing it up.
"Fine," she replied and attempted to duck under his arm. He stopped her.
"Good, I thought…" he started.
"Well, you thought wrong," she informed him.
"Hugo seems to think you're upset," James continued, the smile still etched on his face.
"I wonder why," Lily snapped.
"Lil! You know this isn't about you!" James implored. The smile was still there – laughing at her.
"No, it's quite obvious from your behaviour all morning that you really are taking your work seriously. How many times did Flitwick tell you to stop being an idiot?" Lily questioned him – the smile dropped finally. He looked as wretched as she felt.
"You're upset," he pointed out.
"Oh wow, James. When did you get those detective skills?"
"Lily, I don't understand…" he started.
"Look; you're right. We're wrong for each other. It was just a shock to the system, after you know… you convinced me that we could never be anything but in… I'm sorry I can't just feel fine about it afterwards," Lily yelled. "You might be able to go around joking and smiling, but some people need ten minutes to get over it,"
"I don't… Lily – if you haven't noticed over the last few years, but I kind of love you," Lily laughed in response. He had cheek to say that. She recalled what Hugo had said earlier – about men killing the thing they loved.
"Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word; the coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword," she muttered bitterly.
"What?" he asked, genuine confusion in his face.
"It's Oscar Wilde…" she sighed.
"Why does everyone keep quoting that guy at me today?" James wondered aloud.
"Hugo told me that you warned him off of me last night. As someone who is not my boyfriend I do not give you permission to warn people off of me," she threatened him.
"Hugo told you that?" he asked her, shocked.
"Yes. And the funny thing is it sounds as though you knew all along exactly what you were going to do. If I was your girlfriend it would have been obvious no-go territory, and honestly, I think last night I might've been stupid enough to agree to something that senile. But you warned him away, and led me like a lamb to the slaughterhouse. You're a heartless git," Lily growled.
"Me? You're calling me heartless?" he stuttered incredulously. There was an angrily amused smile on his face – the one he always donned when they fought. It didn't make her any happier to see that he thought this was just another tiff.
"Erm, yes I think I just did!" she shouted.
"Coming from the girl who rejected me for five years by telling me she'd rather date the giant squid?" he spat.
"Oh yes, because you weren't being a stupid prat – mucking about trying to make me and Severus fall out? Or trying to embarrass me, or trying to annoy Charlotte? I hardly think that if there was even any feeling behind your immaturity, it would have been the extent of a teenage boy's crush and nothing more," she yelled. James flinched. "You said it yourself,"
"You really think that all those times I asked you out were to embarrass you or to make Severus hate you?"
"Yes, of course I do! You were hardly nice about it! Plus you were on and off with Charlotte the entire time, so you're not exactly the paragon of a boy in love, are you?"
Enraged she glared up at him, totally unaware of the crowds milling around them in the corridor. She was ready to hear his retort when he pulled her into him and kissed her. His hands were in her hair, messing it up, his lips pushing against her. She pulled back at once, wriggling free from his grip and forcing him backwards. He approached her again, smiling, but this time she was ready. Bringing her palm out, she slapped him across the face. There was a ringing in the corridor and James flinched.
"What was that for?"
"You're a bloody sod, James Potter!" she hissed and stormed off.
—
Starving from missing lunch, Lily realised that no matter how much she detested James, she would have to attend dinner. Transfiguration was terrible, with him angrily showing off with Sirius and Hugo at the back of the classroom. Her own foul mood had not gone unnoticed by Marlene, who prodded her with questions about whether or not she was the cause of the red hand shape across James' face. Having dropped her bag off in the Common Room, she found Mary and the three of them walked down to the Great Hall together, each in silence.
When there, Lily shovelled food onto her plate and listened as Emmeline complained loudly about James. The boy was absent from the table, leaving the three Marauders and Hugo staring at the door every time a new person arrived. Remus thought that he might just be late – Sirius suggested that he was off having an affair with a Ravenclaw called Bridget and Peter said it was probably just his time of the month – something Sirius pointed out quietly - would have been funnier had it been Remus.
"How was your first day, Hugo?" Emmeline asked flirtily.
"Eventful," he said, winking at Lily. She felt herself go red. "James has been in an awful mood all day,"
"You noticed it too?" Frank pitched in. "I thought he just didn't like my new haircut,"
"Why wouldn't he like your haircut?" Lily asked the head boy kindly.
"It's awful. My mother made me get it, and insisted I keep it this way," Frank replied. "He pushed past me and called me Sinatra! What's a Sinatra?"
"Your first name is Frank…" Emmeline pointed out blankly.
"That explains it," the boy nodded happily and returned to Alice who was laughing at him.
"Your hair is awful," she admitted.
"My mother…" Frank started.
"Is a scary woman, I know Frankie," she cooed.
After dinner, the girls and Hugo went up to the Common Room, leaving the Marauders alone to search for James. Marlene broke out her gobstones set, but Mary sat out, deciding to read up on some Potions work. Happily, Hugo took the first shot, but ended up covering them all in gunk. The game continued, with them all getting progressively more disgusting and messy – Lily came out the victor, with Hugo a close second. Following an hour of this everyone went off and turned to either a shower, a book or their beds. Lily stayed and chatted with Hugo.
"So if your dad was a huge dark arts lover, and James' parents are Aurors how do you guys know each other?" Lily asked him. Had it been anyone else she might have assumed that this was a sensitive question, but from what she knew of Hugo, he didn't seem to mind talking about personal stuff. It was refreshing, when James Potter was running around the castle being enigmatic and mysteriously kissing her and then rejecting her. Sometimes a girl just needs something straight forwards.
"Wizard therapy…"
"What?" she choked. "Do wizards have therapists?"
"I'm just kidding – our mothers were best friends at one point; our father too," he laughed.
"But…" she pondered, thinking about their history.
"Yeah, one became the 'good guy', one became the 'bad guy'. It's not uncommon. Our mothers are still very good friends – they ignored my father's work and we grew up together. In all honesty James might be the only person my own age I knew until I was 13," Hugo informed her.
"That's awful!" she exclaimed.
"It wasn't that bad – he introduced me to Remus and Peter; though Sirius never liked me. And I had my sister,"
"You have a sister?" Lily asked, curious to understand more about Hugo. She hadn't yet sussed him out.
"Bridget – she's in seventh year – Ravenclaw," he explained – something clicked in Lily's head.
"… That makes sense," she noted.
"Sirius' joke earlier? Don't get me started," he rolled his eyes and fell back against the sofa.
"Do they make lots of 'your sister' jokes?" Lily was sat cross legged on the sofa facing him.
"Jokes? The sod lost his virginity to her," Hugo exclaimed.
"Sirius lost his virginity to your sister?" Lily recoiled – that was a very un-Sirius thing to do. In fact it was more like the behaviour of…
"Oh, god – that'd be worse. No, James did at the beginning of the summer," Lily's stomach did a backflip, and disentangled itself from her veins – the blood stopped short in her body. She felt like she was drowning on the inside, bleeding out into the empty space which once held her heart. "Oh god… did you not know?"
Lily fought for breath.
"Oi, Evans, what's up?" Sirius Black shouted across the room. He'd obviously just come in through the portrait hole, followed by three Marauders – the one closest behind him Lily vaguely recalled. He had messy black hair and lopsided glasses, but there was something (which later on Lily would name the survival instinct) that removed the connection that this boy had done something to her. She had been hurt – hurt beyond imagination – this boy was here, but who was he? It was the same reaction she had suffered after realising that it had been Severus Snape to attack both her and Ophelia. The same reaction she had fell when the small girl died in the parting of the crowd, and she lay holding her tiny body. "Lily?"
Lily saw Sirius Black. He hadn't slept with Bridget Dagwood. That wasn't a very Sirius thing to do, she knew. That wasn't something Sirius would do because he didn't do it. He hadn't even been on a date since their fake relationship the year previously. She had thought the same about another person – but so far she had been wrong.
"Lily?" Hugo asked. His thin blonde face worried. "Are you okay?"
"What did you bloody do to her Dagwood?" Sirius barked.
"I didn't do… I told her… but she…"
"She's in a state of shock," that horrendously familiar voice said calmly. He shouldn't be calm – she thought. He should be screaming and crying and begging for forgiveness. But no, he barely glanced at her. If she had known it was him talking, she would've cursed him.
"What did you tell her, you prat?" Sirius demanded. Lily blinked.
"She asked about my family, and we got to talking about Bridget,"
"You didn't…" it was that voice again – the one which tore her apart with every separate syllable. There was a face in front of hers now – she blinked. It was a handsome face. His glasses were lopsided and his hair was way too messy, but his dark brown eyes stared into hers with more confusion than she herself felt. "Lily…"
Lily squirmed. She blinked. She breathed. She saw Sirius pushing the other boy away and kneeling in front of her. His face was familiar – it was friendly. She smiled. She heard his detatched voice screaming for Prongs and Dagwood to get the hell out of there. She stood up when he put his arm around her. She followed him out of the Common Room. She breathed. She blinked. She breathed. She blinked. She followed the trace of steps, which were so disjointed in her head that she felt lost. She traced the thought process back. She remembered the dark haired boy was James. She heard the blonde boy telling her that James had slept with his sister. She recalled following James down the corridors. She heard his voice now – fresh – I kind of love you – I can't do this – More wrong than the sun rising in the west – Tell me you feel nothing.
"I feel nothing," she whispered to Sirius who stopped.
"Lil?"
"He…" slept with her.
"I know Lily,"
"You knew?" and you didn't tell me.
"Yes,"
"And you let him?" sleep with her.
"I couldn't exactly barge in there,"
"You let me…?" fall in love with him.
"It's not exactly the end of the world,"
"It is," the end of everything I believed was safe.
"How? He slept with one girl. It's not like he did anything wrong,"
"He said…" he loved me.
"I know,"
"That's…" wrong.
"No it's not. It's misguided,"
"He lied," to me.
"No, he didn't,"
"You didn't tell me," that he slept with her.
"It wasn't my place,"
"You let me," love him. Lie to me. Hurt me.
"It was always going to happen,"
Lily breathed.
"Where are we?"
"Astronomy tower,"
"Why?"
"It's past curfew – no one ever looks here,"
"Where is he?"
"Hopefully knocking himself out with a bludger,"
"Where did you find him today?" she knew the answer, but she dreaded it.
"He was telling her that he couldn't be with her,"
"Sirius, can you please explain this all to me? I don't understand a word of what has happened with him,"
"Right, well – James was over their place for the majority of the summer. After their dad died he was there for them. They grew pretty close, and one day he called me on the two way mirror and he was crying (never tell him I told you this) because like, Bridget is really funny and stuff, and they've been friends for years, but he doesn't feel that way about her. Then he explained what he did, and he was saying about how you had just written him asking to meet up with everyone in Diagon Alley. I've never seen him so bad. So they kind of… Bridget never expected anything I don't think. He must've said something to her about it, because she was actually quite cool," Sirius took a breath. "So then we all went to Diagon Alley, and he was okay, because you were there and he's rarely not okay when you're there,"
"Then what brought today on?"
"From what I can guess… the fact that you act the same way with him as you do with me, and Remus and Peter, and Hugo. Remus tried to talk him out of this stupid little idea he had – to see if you liked him, then to end it completely when he realised you weren't. But you kind of ruined that, because of the whole 'Amos Diggory kissed me, ewww' thing you had going on the train,"
"Wait, that's stupid! I said I didn't like Amos kissing me!"
"And then James kissed you,"
"And I didn't say eww,"
"But you ran off when Severus came over?"
"Oh…"
"So he told me to go away and he'd wait for you and tell you before you even got to the castle. Then you were attacked, and I think… desperately he thought that you'd want him? I don't know. Then I don't know what's been going down today, really. Other than he's been miserable except when you're around, so that he can prove he don't need you girrrllll, and you've been miserable all day. Then that Dagwood sod tells you what happens, and James is probably sat thinking "Wow, maybe she likes me. Well shit, I've fucked that up now," and he's right isn't he?"
"I… I don't know why I'm so hurt. It's not like I ever said "James, I have feelings for you, please don't sleep with some random Ravenclaw," but I thought that was pretty obvious. And then… "
"You should've said that," James said. Lily and Sirius both turned quickly to face the door and saw James stood in the doorway, his face stricken.
"I should let you talk…" Sirius mumbled and walked towards the door. James stepped towards her. Sirius walked out, and closed the door, leaving them enveloped in only the light of the stars streaming in through the open wall.
"Lily I'm sorry," he started sadly, his entire body reserved. Lily couldn't remember the last time his presence had been so hard for her.
"I believe you," she said. In front of her was the dark haired boy, whom she recognized as James Potter. She had never thought that he – the one who had always sworn to love her, whether jokingly or otherwise – would make her feel like this. But she did believe that he didn't mean to. She guessed that it was just one of those things.
"You should've said that you liked me. I… you're impossible,"
"So c'mon, explain this all to me…"
—
Marlene's main concern for the past few weeks had been her upcoming birthday. She and Adam had spent many long letters conversing about what they should do for her seventeenth. Adam had suggested a giant party in the Common Room, which they had both taken very seriously, and decided that this was the correct course of action. She had gone dress shopping in London with her mother a few days before they all caught the Hogwarts express; Adam had brought along his entire music collection and they were still working out how to get refreshments for the party when Peter Pettigrew walked into the boy's dorm.
"Hullo Marlene," he smiled. "Hey Adam,"
"Hey Peter, 'sup?" Adam conversed.
"Some serious Marauder trouble going on," Peter laughed. "James has too many women after him and Sirius (as ever) is picking up his mess. Remus is.."
"Reading?" Marlene suggested.
"No – he's not just a swot, you know. He's actually calming Hugo down, because he thinks that the whole drama is all his fault," Peter explained.
"Is it?" Marlene asked.
"Yes," the boy laughed.
Peter was sat on what Marlene knew to be his own bed. The girl had always found it strange that Adam had never become a Marauder and Peter had – Adam didn't really fit into that dynamic she figured. Peter might just be small member of the Marauders, but he was just as necessary to the group as James, Sirius and Remus. The three needed him to impress, and for him to be in awe of them. He might be the smallest Marauder but he was still…
"Hey, Pete. You're a Marauder…" Marlene pointed out. The name had always been a bit lame, but it stuck.
"So they tell me," he grinned. Marlene got the distinct feeling that he was flirting with her.
"How do James and Sirius get the fire whiskey?" she asked him.
"Oh… er, I can't… divulge that information," he mumbled awkwardly.
"Well… you don't have to tell me, but could you do it for us?" she continued, flirting.
"Not alone… I might need Sirius' help," Peter said with a grin.
"Brilliant!" Adam exclaimed.
"How much fire whiskey are we talking?" Peter asked, working out numbers.
"Five bottles?" Marlene suggested.
"Ten," Adam corrected.
"I don't have the cash for that," the blonde informed him, but he shook his head.
"I do,"
"Adam…." She started to object but he stopped her.
"Fray, this is going to be the best party anyone will have attended ever and we are going to be hosting it– ten bottles maestro," Adam proclaimed.
"Then some butterbeer too – Lily doesn't drink," Marlene added.
"Yeah – er… that's cool. When do you need it by?" Peter asked awkwardly.
"Two weeks from now?" Marlene bartered.
"Right – er, that's cool," the boy grinned. "I'll go ask Sirius,"
"Keep quiet to everyone else though," Marlene instructed. "Our little secret," she blew him a kiss. He blushed and he ran from the room. As soon as he had left Adam snorted out a bought of hysterical laughter.
"You just flirted your way into the best party… you flirted with Peter, that's so funny," he wheezed.
"Shut up, at least I have a way of getting things done!" she nudged him playfully.
"Obviously – I just figured you'd have more dignity in it," Adam giggled. "Wait 'til I tell Asher,"
"Oh – I doubt he'll care," Marlene shrugged. "I don't think he likes me all that much,"
"Are you kidding? He practically stalks you!" Adam chuckled.
"I figured he just did that because I was his girlfriend," Marlene admitted coolly.
"No – he does it because he realises that he's the luckiest guy in Hogwarts," Adam said seriously now.
"That was… really lame," Marlene snorted with laughter. Adam looked annoyed.
"No, it was cute," he insisted.
"I'm pretty sure it was lame," she chuckled.
"You're a bitch," he said, laughing too.
"You love it," she reminded him as they returned to their party plans.
—
Hugo was still so busy fretting about James' reaction when he returned, that Remus was completely distracted by Sirius' happy entrance. The boy was grinning, his teeth barred like they did when he was a dog. It occurred to Remus that some of Sirius' behaviour would be very odd to those who were unaware of his animagi dog form. It was only when Hugo looked up and saw the boy with a grimace, that Remus turned and saw his friend.
"How is she?" Remus asked.
"Fine – no thanks to you, Captain Tact!" Sirius yelled at Hugo. The blonde looked angrily at Sirius.
"I thought she knew…" Hugo started but Sirius unleashed the rage from his core.
"No – you knew she didn't. You did it on purpose," Sirius snapped.
"What're you suggesting?" Hugo asked coolly. He was stood up now, and each boy was nose to nose. Remus could smell the testosterone in the air.
"I'm suggesting that maybe you like Lily yourself, and you want her to hate James. I hate to burst your little bubble but it hasn't worked – they're sorting things out right now!" Sirius goaded triumphantly. Remus was glad that there was no one around to hear this. He was sure Lily wouldn't have been happy for all the Gryffindors to know.
"I don't even know Lily," Hugo started.
"Exactly – because if you did, you'd know that she and James are made for each other – and not you, your sister, nor anyone is going to come between them,"
"I don't want to…" the blonde started.
"You're up to something Dagwood,"
"Sirius, calm down," Remus said calmly, reaching for his friend in attempt to cool him.
"Sorry Remus, but no. Have you not noticed that since he joined our lives things have started to get a lot more complex?" Sirius asked, not taking his eyes from the new boy.
"What are you talking about?" Remus questioned.
"Where were you yesterday – on the train?" Sirius demanded of Hugo.
"I floo'd in," he repeated his story from yesterday.
"See, I don't believe that. Not a speck of dust on you when you came in yesterday. Then he had to have a chat with Dumbledore whilst he was with Holloway discussing the attack on Lily all night? And what happened when no one knew where he was? Lily was hospitalized,"
"Sirius, you can't insinuate…" Remus started.
"Oh, but it makes sense! Then James rejects Lily and far from being upset she's livid with him. I bet you said something to her didn't you? Then they're chatting and he tells her that? That's no slip of the tongue. He's up to something, and I'm going to be there to stop him when it happens," Sirius threatened.
"What kind of motive would I have to hurt Lily or James for that matter?" Hugo asked innocently.
"Oh, let's count – she's muggleborn, James likes her, James slept with your sister – maybe you're pretty pissed about that or maybe you're just a Death Eater like your dad," Sirius barked.
"I thought it'd come to this," said Hugo sadly.
"Sirius, of all people you should know not to judge someone by their family…" the werewolf interjected.
"Sirius, can I talk with you?" Peter interrupted. Sirius tore his eyes unwillingly from Hugo and looked across the room to see Peter blushing red.
"Sure, Peter, what's the problem?"
"Er… let's go outside," the smaller boy suggested and led Sirius out of the room. Remus chilled, breathing in a deep sigh of relief. Since his behaviour regarding Severus Snape last year, Sirius' behaviour was being very seriously monitored. If he got into a fight with Hugo on the first day of term, Remus wasn't sure he'd be allowed to stay in Hogwarts. As he had run away from his family home in the early part of the summer, he would have nowhere to go. Remus was immediately glad for Peter – the boy oddly had a fairly calming effect on Sirius – he gave him a sense of responsibility – a reason to behave or show off.
Hugo looked at Remus who shrugged off his best friend's strange behaviour. The blonde boy informed him that he was going to bed and made his goodnights, but Remus wasn't paying attention. Sirius had been over the top with his reaction to Hugo – but there was some truth in what he had said. The open way in which he discussed his father's death and dark arts; the way he had followed Lily and James out of the Great Hall just before they had fallen out; the way he reacted to Sirius' accusations. Remus couldn't help but think that maybe his speculation wasn't too wild after all.
—
Mary was woken three times that night. The first time it was by shouting from the Common Room. She recognized Sirius' anger and wondered if she should go and calm him, but realised that he probably had James and Remus there to do that for her. Settling back into her pillow she got another hours sleep before Marlene crept through the door and into her own bed – she had probably been with Adam planning whatever it was they had been up to for the past month. This time, Mary glanced over at Lily's bed and saw it still made and neat, with no one in it. The third time she woke was with nightmares that haunted her nightly.
It was hard being back at Hogwarts. Though it had been over a year since she'd been attacked, Mary still walked the corridors wearily, refused to go anywhere alone, and felt worry when her friends did so. Lily was a free spirit, and often wondered from place to place without company – either their Common Room or the Library or where ever she was now. It was four am and Lily still had not returned. Mary was growing worried.
Eventually Mary got back to sleep for another three hours, and awoke to find that Lily was still not there. Then again, Lily's absence in the morning was not uncommon – she was what Mary liked to call an crazy person. Someone who can wake up at half past six without an alarm, pull on any clothes she wanted, strut down to breakfast, stuff her face with croissants and still look fabulous. However, Mary doubted that today was the same story – she hadn't slept in her bed all night – which begged the question, where was she?
Down at breakfast, Mary posed this question to Sirius, who merely shrugged happily and muttered something about 'finally!' Remus had even less of an idea as to her friend's location, and decided that anyone who would know would be James. The more she waited for him to appear, however, the more obvious it was the James was probably with Lily. This at least gave Mary a sigh of relief – at least there was someone with her.
Emmeline didn't share Mary's worry, thay much was obvious from the way in which she said "probably doing what I would've done a long time ago," whilst shovelling scrambled egg into her mouth. Marlene was with Asher on the Ravenclaw table, and Donna cared no more about Lily than Mary did Quidditch. Her only comfort was that James was with her, and that Lily would never miss a lesson in her life. She'd show up at some point in the day.
Mary walked into her Divination class, to see that there were only five other students present. Apparently this was the regular size of a NEWT Divination class, as the professor was not fazed what so ever. Mary recognized some of her class mates – Robert Cattermole, Eloise Lee and Oswold Beamish. When it came to introducing themselves, Robert declared himself to be called Reginald, and the two other people she didn't recognise were Jonathon Moon and Clarissa Rice. Apparently the pair were in some form of sordid relationship together, and demanded to be other another's partners for the entire year. Oswold edged up to Eloise Lee (a pretty Hufflepuff, like himself), leaving her with Reginald Cattermole.
The boy smiled at her – she recognized him from some of her other lessons, but realised that he had grown rather a lot since the previous year. Mary smiled back and took her seat opposite him at their table. Between them was a small bag each. Reginald opened his mouth to say something to her, but closed it at once – the gesture was ruminant of a goldfish she had owned as a child. Mary giggled.
"Hello, Reginald – do you mind if I call you Reg?" Mary asked kindly.
"Oh… er, no of course not Mary MacDonald," he stuttered.
"You can call me Mary if you want," Mary smiled – Reg did so too. Across the room Jonathon and Clarissa were snogging violently. It was disturbing. Mary couldn't believe she had been like that, once upon a time.
"Oh! Boy girl groups this year, eh?" Professor Pes noted. "Brilliant, that will be interesting when we come to cover auras! Right, now who can tell me all about the historical usage of prophetic runes?"
—
James walked Lily to their Defence Against the Dark Arts class, both of them happily chatting about what they suspected Professor Devarius would be teaching them this year. Lily was particularly excited to know if their teacher would continue her extra classes, after her stunning 120% on her OWL examination. All the tension of the previous day had dissolved, and it was only when Lily entered the classroom that either of them noticed anything wrong.
"Where's Madam Devarius?" Lily questioned the man sat at the front desk. Far from the floor being covered with crates or the walls full of picturesque views of Paris, the room was bare but for a black board and desks. James shot Lily a confused look.
"Madam Devarius shall not be teaching at Hogwarts School any longer, Miss, so please take a seat. I shall be your Professor for this year. Sit – you two, at the back," the man demanded, pointing James and Lily to the only empty desk in the room. They shuffled over to the desk and settled themselves in. Their new Professor was an oldish wizard, with greying hair and a heavily wrinkled face. He walked with a hunch, and wore spectacularly lavish purple robes and a tout expression.
"Where is she? Was she fired?"
"Madam Devarius did not return to this year at Hogwarts. Dumbledore hired me to teach you – he did not express details of her resignation to me. I am here to teach you how to defend yourselves from bad wizards, not how to sustain a job. God knows this position is hardly a model role of that. You would please take your books out and turn to page 1 – read," he instructed.
James shrugged as Lily looked at him expectantly. The pair did as they were told, and read through some uninteresting information on how to use defensive magic safely in a working environment. Having already read the first five chapters of the text book, Lily felt that this was an extreme waste of time and so scribbled a note to James.
Where do you think she is? -LE
Maybe she just quit.-JP
She wouldn't have done that. Not without telling me.
Lily… you're such a teacher's pet. Which reminds me, stop sending notes.
Why – scared you're going to get told off by Professor…. What's his name?
Professor Grayson, nimwit.
Thanks for that.
Weren't you telling me off just yesterday for not taking my work seriously enough?
That was before you snogged me.
Fair enough – your brain not functioning?
Shut up, Potter.
Sorry – will you refuse to snog me if I keep taking the mick?
Yes….
Liar
You know me too well.
Success!
Oi, why does Sirius hate Hugo so much?
That's a bit personal.
Because Sirius' social faux pas are the worst thing you've told me about in the last twenty four hours…
Huh?
That was sarcasm.
Oh.
Are you going to tell me?
You don't have enough parchment…
Okay, you didn't have to remove four foot of parchment to prove your point. It was an expression.
It's a bad expression. Will you tell me at lunch?
If you read the bloody page.
I already have four times.
Swot.
James!
James!
Potter!
Stop ignoring my notes.
Stop throwing notes at my head!
And if I refuse?
I'll tickle you.
You wouldn't dare.
Asdfghjk. Okay, I'll stop sending notes.
—
After Defence, the pair went to Potions, where they sat at separate tables and wrote notes on the potions that they had produced last lesson. This didn't stop James from annoying her though, and he continuously threw blank notes at the back of her head. Far from being annoyed at his friend's behaviour, Sirius beamed – happy to have James and Lily somewhat happy, and not killing each other.
"What did you say to her?" Sirius asked the idiot.
"The truth," James admitted in a whispered.
"And that worked?" questioned Sirius, suspiciously. The truth was the fool's tool.
"Well, it is quite the romantic story," James chuckled, recalling the way in which she had kissed him back on the astronomy tower.
"Yes – if you remove the part where you shag someone else," Sirius hissed pointedly.
"You make me feel so cheap Sirius," James exclaimed under his breath.
"You are – you're a slag," Sirius laughed.
"There is no proof!" James insisted.
"How many girls have you kissed in the last 24 hours?" Sirius questioned. James' face dropped and he glared at his friend.
"Only 2," he chuckled.
"My point,"
"Shut up – she wants to know why you hate Hugo so much," James changed the subject.
"Lily does?" Sirius asked. It was a sudden change of conversation.
"Yes,"
"Tell her then," he whispered incredulously. Sirius didn't have any issue with Lily (or anyone) knowing why he didn't like Hugo Dagwood – in fact the more people that knew the better.
"I don't want to!" James hissed.
"Why not? It's my reason!" rationalised the boy.
"Yes, but then she'll hate Hugo, and contrary to your opinion he's an alright guy," James said.
"You only say that because he let you have sex with his sister," Sirius pointed out laughing.
"He didn't let me! This isn't the 1800's where orphans can give their siblings to strange men," James laughed too loudly. Slughorn looked cheerily over at them and grinned.
"Working please, Mr Potter," Slughorn called across the classroom.
"I'm just saying, you thought he was a prick until this summer," Sirius said under his breath.
"I know! But he's alright," James admitted.
"Then tell Lily a lie!" Sirius suggested, but his friend shook his head.
"I don't want to lie to her!" he exclaimed.
"Again…"
"Exactly," they laughed.
"Then tell her the truth," Sirius said as though it was obvious.
"You're really not getting this, Padfoot," James muttered.
"Sing it to her in a musical number – I think we still have one of those ukuleles from fourth year,"
"You're an idiot," James felt like head butting the desk.
"So what're you going to tell her?" the Black boy questioned.
"That you're a lunatic?" James wondered.
"She won't buy that!" Sirius laughed. "I'm too sexy for that,"
"You're not sexy," James disagreed.
"There is no proof against my sexy," Sirius imitated.
"How many people have you snogged in the last 24 hours?" James questioned his friend.
"Not including your mum?" Sirius grinned.
"Not including her," agreed the Quidditch captain.
"Touché," Sirius laughed. None – he hadn't kissed anyone since Lily, almost a year ago.
"Stay away from my mum," James added as an afterthought as he returned to his note making.
—
By lunch Mary had managed to decipher where Lily had been. She'd been with James in the Astronomy Tower so they could talk in private. Contrary to what Sirius had said about no one checking the Astronomy Tower, Filch opened the door and almost caught Lily punching James. The boy, however, had pushed her under the invisibility cloak, and led her (both of them invisible) past Filch, and to the Room of Requirement. James had asked the room to have two beds and a fridge full of food from the kitchens so that they needn't have to walk to their Common Room, or wake too early for breakfast.
Then James had continued to explain what had happened over the summer (a fact of which Mary was unaware of) and what had led him to do what he had in the past two days. Sirius' account had been accurate mostly, though left out some details (of the explicit nature). Lily had fallen asleep and woken to find James sleeping beside her rather than in his own bed, and rather than whacking him she had allowed herself one kiss. Of course, James felt then the right moment to awaken from his slumber like Sleeping Beauty and had passionately kissed her back. They slept some more (James in his own bed now) and ate croissants for breakfast. The room gave them both clean robes and a mirror, and they attended Defence as normal.
Rather unexcited by recounting the events of her evening, Lily was tired and curious as to the sudden resignation of her old Defence teacher, and asked anyone who might know for a clue as to her fate. Lily gave up after a while and actually scribbled down some Potions notes before Lunch was summoned by the bell. At this point, Lily packed all her stuff, met James, Sirius and Remus at the door and walked to lunch together.
—
During lunch Lily dropped hint after hint for Sirius to tell her why he hated Hugo so much. She'd even heard that they'd fought loudly last night in the Common Room, but he was keeping very quiet on the topic. That didn't stop her trying to catch him out over lunch, hints hidden in jokes and riddles which Hugo laughed along with, despite not haing a clue it was all about him. Sirius was, at the very least, amused by their game.
Determined, Lily pulled James ahead of their friends in a eager bid to get him alone before Transfiguration. As they reached an empty corridor, she turned on him but he'd been expecting that, and planted a kiss on her lips instead. This tactic worked for five minutes, until she hit him in the arm and demanded answers.
"You're a stubborn little mule, aren't you?" James laughed as he looked down at her. His hair was messed at the back from the kissing, and his lips were redder than normal. She thought that all things considered, he looked wonderful.
"It's one of my best traits," Lily admitted.
"I'd hate to see your worst," James joked.
"You already have," the girl joined in. "Come on then, spill the beans,"
"It's not really my secret to tell…" James informed her awkwardly.
"Oh – okay. I'll ask Sirius then," she smiled and started to skip off.
"No! Fine, I'll tell you!" he said quickly pulling on her hand to stop her running away. "Right, well you know what happened with Sirius over the summer?"
"He moved in with you," Lily pondered.
"Do you know why?" He asked, but the only reply was a shake of the head. She'd guessed it had been something to do with his family, but had thought it rude and insensitive to ask. "Well, his cousin Narcissa just got married to Lucius Malfoy, and the wedding was kind of a shamble. I don't know all of the details, but what I do know is that his entire family was there," James started.
"What does this have to do with Hugo?" questioned Lily, unsure as to how Hugo would fit into a story revolving around Sirius' family problems.
"I'm getting to that! Be patient. So, Sirius is there, and he's been fighting with his whole family for ages. Only his uncle and his aunt seem to have any form of sympathy for him. During the after party Lucius and some of his 'friends' were kicking off, and Sirius told them all to calm down. I think Malfoy was close to cursing him, so his dad took him aside and told him to go home and wait for him there. When he got home they ambushed him. Some of the family were staying over, and they basically told him that he was useless and a blood traitor, and though it was a shame to spill magical blood, it was better than 'tainting the tree'. So yeah… his dad beat him up whilst everyone else watched. Nothing with magic – pure muggle violence – but he was in a pretty bad state. As soon as he was conscious he grabbed his wand stupefied the bunch of them, and packed whatever stuff he could. He showed up at mine and wouldn't talk about it for three weeks,"
"That's… horrific, what… so he moved in with you. Your parents were alright with it?"
"Of course – Sirius is my brother," James said airily. In that moment Lily knew that what Sirius and James had was a bond that she had once shared with Petunia – a real sister – and maybe even Ophelia. It was something stronger than either one of them even cared to explain, but they knew it was there – Padfoot and Prongs.
"Wait… so where does Hugo come into this?" Lily interrupted her own thought process.
"Where do you think?" the boy was leaning coolly against the wall, her eyes flicking to James' watch to ensure that they wouldn't be late for their lesson. It was a silver watch with five hands, moons around the outside, and a chip in the glass.
"I don't see how he could…" Lily mumbled, trying to add up in her head where he could possibly have fitted into the horrible tale that had just been relayed to her.
"He was at the wedding… and…"
"He was there?" she gasped.
"He watched the whole thing. Sirius seems to think he could've stopped it – his dad beat him and Hugo had a wand and he did nothing. But honestly – think about it – they were surrounded by twenty grown adults. What could he have done? Obviously I was shocked when I found out but…"
"But what?" she demanded, shocked. What on earth could James say to justify that behaviour?
"He was just as helpless as Sirius," James insisted.
"Are you kidding me, Potter? Sirius is your best friend, and you're actually defending someone who stuck around to watch him be beaten to unconsciousness?"
"Lily, you don't understand…" he told her. She jumped back from him, removing his hand from her wrist.
"Do I not James? Tell me which bit I'm misinterpreting, because honestly, I can't believe you right now," Lily muttered.
"Hugo is cool, you know him,"
"Maybe, I do – but I know Sirius as well. And I thought I knew you…" Lily said, storming away from James for the second time in as many days.
