I have spent the past three days debating whether or not this chapter is part of, or separate from, the following chapter. I apologize for this delay and present to you what I have, for the moment, decided is Chapter 11. It is a little on the short side; the next chapter is longer, and I am editing it now so it won't be long before it's up!

I think you will all enjoy Chapter 13! It is from a different POV, which was something I never intended to do, but I got a request for another POV and it seems to fit really well after our next chapter. So stay tuned!

I invite all of you to leave a review, favorite, or alert. I usually get my greatest pleasure from checking my hits count but it has come to my attention that either all the hits on the site or just my hits are screwed up: hits that I know for a fact are taking place are not showing up on my count. So if you could do me a big, big favor and leave me some sort of sign that you were here, I'd really appreciate it!

Enough chatter, so here we go. Titles are songs recorded by Frank Sinatra, and characters and associated material belong to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for reading!


Chapter 11: Don't Ever Be Afraid to Go Home

I woke early Thursday morning, having completely passed out long before dinner the night before. Worried Charlie hadn't been able to do without me for dinner, I ran downstairs to check the kitchen for signs of a square meal. The welcome sight of an empty plastic storage container and plate, still covered in tomato sauce, lying in the sink told me Charlie had found some leftover spaghetti. I breathed a sigh of relief and gave the dishes a good rinse before popping some bread in the toaster for my breakfast.

As I sat down with my toast and juice, Charlie thudded down the stairs.

"Hey, kiddo," he said, catching sight of me on his way to the coffee pot. "I heard you came home sick yesterday, so I didn't want to disturb you last night. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," I answered, a little confused. "How did you hear I went home? Did the school call you?" I was going to shoot that nurse.

"No, Karen Newton called and left a message around three. The message said she'd gotten a call from Mike that you had fallen ill at school and she wasn't expecting you at work. She wished you a quick recovery."

Ah, right. People usually did things like call in sick if they had to miss work. I would have to thank Mike for giving his mom the message for me.

But first things first. I swallowed my toast and took a sip of juice to clear my throat.

"Um, Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?" Charlie looked up from the box of cereal he had poised over a bowl.

"I talked to Renee last night about coming to see her?" I tried not to let the statement come out as a question, but it felt so odd to give Charlie notice about leaving him for the other side of the country with only a couple days' notice. He said nothing in response, so I forged on. "We decided this weekend was a good time."

Charlie raised his eyebrows.

"You're going to Florida this weekend?" he asked, a note of confusion in his voice. It broke my heart a little.

"We got a ticket for Friday night, returning Sunday so I won't miss any school." I attempted to sound firm. Decided. Grown up.

Charlie looked blankly at his bowl for a moment. Then, his cereal pouring resumed, and he nodded.

"How are you getting to the airport?"

I felt a little hot behind my ears as I turned back to my own breakfast. I wasn't planning on driving my truck all the way to the Seattle-Tacoma airport, especially not after the conversation that had sparked my panic attack in the first place.

"Well..." I began, "I guess I would need a ride."

Charlie sighed over a spoonful of cereal.

"All right. When's your flight?"

After breakfast, Charlie headed to work, but I still had time to shower and get ready for school without rushing. Bearing in mind that I would actually work my first real shift at Newton's after school, I chose some gray slacks that I didn't wear very often. I had trouble picking out a good top to wear, given that most of my best clothes were suited to the mild Phoenix climate, but I eventually settled on a sleeveless pink top and pulled on a big, hooded sweatshirt to get me through the school day without being struck with hypothermia.

The knowledge that I was only a couple days from warmth, sunshine, and and my mother's arms completely banished the nervousness that had plagued me the previous two days. I realized in both English and Trig that, while I had thought I was paying attention in those classes, my most recent notes were abnormally inadequate.

I had missed the first part of the movie we were watching in biology when I went home for anxiety, so I was lost as the video resumed that afternoon. I tried watching but gave up after a few minutes and busied myself with doodling in my notebook. I tried hard to concentrate on the doodle, because I knew where my mind would go if it were idle, and, sure enough, halfway through a full-page loop, I found myself noticing the posture of my lab partner. Not nearly as tense as he had been in the past, he nevertheless leaned away from me in his seat. I was engulfed in the more intense memories of him. Edward Cullen, rigid in his seat, eyes as black as pitch. Edward Cullen, growling at me to get in his Volvo. Edward Cullen, jaw clenched in murderous fury. Edward Cullen, pinning me to the frozen ground.

His eyes piercing into me. His muscled arm, wrapped around my waist. His chiseled face, pale and flawless, mere inches from mine. His hard body, pressed urgently against mine. Pinning me. To the ground.

A shiver shook me; it was unlike the prickly tremors that had been racking my body for two days, aftershocks from Port Angeles. This one was hot and pleasant. It was sensual and delicious.

It was in public, and it was embarrassing.

Just as I shivered, I thought I could see Edward move slightly in his seat. My heart thumped. Had he seen me shiver? Could he possibly know what I had been thinking? Maybe he would assume it was residual trauma, like my shakes and fainting the day before.

Very cautiously, I peered at him out of the corner of my eye. The side of his mouth seemed turned up, his eye crinkled in amusement. He had seen! Heat rose to my neck and face. Suddenly, Edward's posture changed. It was a subtle change, but as he shifted his weight away from me, I thought he held his breath. The amusement in his face faded. And, just like that, I was reminded of the dark, piercing stare Edward had met me with on my first day at Forks High School. The one that screamed curses and death. The air in the room seemed to drop ten degrees. The heat behind my neck was replaced by a cold sweat.

Maybe he wasn't dangerous, I conceded, but Edward Cullen still freaked me out. And, in that moment, I vowed never to let myself be attracted to him again. Not for a single second.