Thank you everyone that still reads this shit and reviews, I haven't forgot about this, not yet. (a) just have so much other stuff going on...
Alex.
I walked into the coffee shop with my sneakers and my worn-out skinny jeans, a red tank top and I really tried to look confident, I was everything but it.
"Hello Alex." He smiled, oh god he was hot, why was he so damn hot? I thought as I sat down and my cheeks went from pale to red, red as the colour of blood. "I bought you some coffee!"
"Thanks Gerard."
I sipped from the cup and glared over at him, and he glared back at me. Come on, you aren't sixteen anymore Alex. So he was the best kisser you ever had… and the best lover… Get yourself together! I told myself.
"What went so wrong?" He asked after a while in silence. "I'm pretty sure it was here."
"I think it happened when we slept together… you know when I got pregnant." I sighed. "But then again it was here everything went to hell… I told you and Frank freaked out." I couldn't do anything but to smile. "I regret not taking you with me when I left, because I loved you." And I still do… I thought to myself. "But… everything was so bad so… I guess… it was better off this way…"
I took his hand and I slowly and gentle stroke over the old, fading pink scars on his arm.
"I could have… stopped…" he took a breath. "I could have changed my whole life just to be with you! Both of you!" he looked me right into my eyes.
"You know it is a lie, darling, you couldn't go a day without drinking back then, and that had been the death of the three of us." I whispered.
Gerard.
She was right, just like she always had been. She didn't let go of my hand and kept on stroking her fingers over my old scars. No one but her could make me so calm and safe.
"I would driver on to the end with you…" I whispered. "I'm trying; I'm trying
to let you know how much you mean… I never stopped loving you."
"Gerard…"
"But you don't feel the same, do you?"
"Gee…"
"Well…" I turned away to hide a tear in my eye. "How could you, I ruined your life… and you don't know the slightest thing about me… as well as I don't know anything about you… and despite that I still can't get you out of my head."
"I work as a journalist, the people I work with think I'm a weird person because I got pregnant fourteen years ago and because I never go anywhere without a shirt hiding my arms. I'm mostly broke because I have to provide for two, alone. And I never let anything hurt my Fray… he is the most important thing in my life." She told me. "And if he wants you to be a part of his life, you are going to be a part of it!"
"He is stubborn like you then?" I smiled again.
"I brought him up myself, is it possible that he would turn out some other way?" she laughed.
We talked for maybe an hour, I told her about how I got clean and sober, about my non existing love life and the band and she told me about how it is to live with a son, our son… it still felt unreal. I never wanted to leave but like every other good thing everything comes to an end and her phone rang.
"Hello darling." She answered and it stung in my heart, what if she had a lover?
"No I'm with Gerard, we were thinking if you are ready to meet Donna and Donald?"
She listened to Fray for a second, and then she gave me the phone.
"Hi son!" I said happily.
"Hi… dad…" he was silent.
"Do you want to meet my parents?"
Two hours later.
"Does she have to take the whole night to get ready?" Fray sighed and looked bored.
"Remember that she is a woman, a woman needs the double time as we need to get ready…" I laughed and drank the last of my coffee, just when I was about to swallow the last sip it stuck in my throat because into the kitchen walked an angel.
"NOW I remember why I knocked you up!" I said with a wink.
"EEEWWWW!" The kid said in disgust.
"Aw shut it!" I and Alex said with the same mouth.
Alex.
It had taken me a while to get ready since I had nothing to wear, I ended up going through my wardrobe and found a red skirt I had when I was sixteen, I loved the fact that I still fit in it and it kinda looked good on me. To that I had a black helter neck top and then some make up. Gerard stared his eyes out of his head when I arrived into the kitchen so I guess I looked okay.
"Aw shut it!" we said at the same time and Gerard walked up to me and held his hand out to me.
"Are the lady ready to leave?"
"Yes, she is!" I giggled.
Frank.
And there they are gone, the big fucking happy family. I stared out through the window and lit up a cigarette with a sigh.
"Fucking perfect!" I said to myself as a tear fell over my cheek.
I missed my wife but there were no way in hell I just could come home and say hey girl I'm sorry, I will always loved you and the twins but… you will always be number two because the only girl I love with my whole heart, unconditionally is and will always be Alexandra Bryar, my first fucking girlfriend.
"Hey how are you?" Bob came into the kitchen and looked at me with worry in his eyes.
"I'm just cursing the day I met your sister!"
"Come on, just go to Jamia, and beg her to take you back! I can't stand everyone here sitting around not getting what they want. Someone should get their happily ever after."
"What do you mean?" I asked him and he rolled his eyes.
"Gerard and Alex… she is never taking him back, he may look like prince charming but he knocked her up and never did a single thing to help or even find them. It has been fifteen years and she didn't need his help, why would she take it now?"
"Because she loves him and he loves her, it is that simple…" I whispered.
Alex.
For every second we came closer and closer and my breathing got faster and faster, Gerard noticed and clutched his hand around mine.
"I can't do this!" I wanted to scream but I made myself talk as normal as I could.
"Of course you can! They love you, always have!"
"No…" and of course some tears feller over my cheeks, that traitor… "Gerard there is something I haven't told you…"
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