It had been another couple of days before they could make their schedules align appropriately, and she was feeling stressed, nervous and uncertain. Even Ruby had eyed her reproachfully while shutting the office door pointedly behind her, Vic's temper was chancy at the best of times, and right now it was damn near dynamite.
To be on the road driving towards her destination was both a relief and a torture. Relief from the waiting but torture that she couldn't turn tail and head in the other direction. She didn't know what this was, but she was sure as hell certain she didn't want to be involved in it.
The day was crisp, sunny and pleasantly warm for autumn. Trees along the way were in their coloured finery, combine harvesters trundling their slow way across the fields leaving a cloud of dust and birds picking over the leavings. Soon there would be clouds of smoke as farmers burn off the stubble in preparation for winter. She never knew why they did that and idly mused on it as she drove.
All too soon the driveway entrance for the VA appeared and she pulled into the Visitor parking spot and keyed off the engine. Closing her eyes she leaned forward, resting her forehead on the steering wheel and just breathed for a long moment, saying on the long exhale you can do this, you can do this.
John was waiting for her in the lobby, and rather surprisingly was on crutches, rather than in the chair. He took in her look of surprise "It's such a nice day I thought we might sit in the garden." She shrugged and gestured for him to lead the way.
The garden was pretty, lots of roses and other flowers she didn't know the names of, and crushed white shells crunched underneath their feet on the path. John manoeuvred the crutches deftly, although she could see a tightness around his eyes that wasn't normally there and vaguely remembered something about nerve damage in his remaining leg.
His sigh of relief was audible as they rounded the end of the garden to find a shaded corner surrounded by trees, with a solid looking seat wide enough for 3 people placed across the corner. The 'pock' of tennis balls was louder here, the courts must be behind them and she waited for John to settle himself before taking a seat, casually in the corner with a knee up so unconcerned, not bothered, not bothered at all.
They sat in silence for a long moment, so long that Vic almost considered getting up and leaving, just to make a point A Sheriffs work is never done, after all!
Johns voice was low, but she had gotten used to the quiet and it startled her from her musings "Walt has made excellent progress in his time with me. I am very happy with how things are going but there is one major roadblock that try as I might, I just can't seem to get past it."
He turned to look at her "It's you Vic. Not you the Sheriff, you the woman."
Well Fuck, he was not only going to dump that on her, he was going to expect a response!
She shrugged, carelessly.
He looked at her for a long moment, and the beginnings of a wry smile hitched one corner of his mouth and he nodded "Fair enough, this isn't about you, its about Walt, I get it."
Then his eyes got serious "Except it isn't Vic, you two have been friends and partners for a long time now. Everyone speaks about how you helped bring him out of his drunken funk after Martha died. How you refuse to take his shit, and how you stand up to him. How you challenge him. How you have his back and he has yours."
"Walt told me what happened during the hostage situation at Chance Gilbert's farm. About you, about Sean and Gorski. About how you left your husband in the car with Gorski after you got out, and how you went back for Walt, not knowing if he was alive or dead."
Shit his words were bringing it all back, the pain and fear and horror, running back down the road in the dark, hearing gunshots ring out, screaming and breathless, unable to stop, unable to do anything until she saw the familiar tall outline silhouetted by the harsh spotlights on the house, until she saw he was still standing and mostly OK
Unknowingly she had tensed up, withdrawing into herself, shrinking back into the corner, eyes over bright and wide as she relived those memories again, breath coming harsh and shallow.
"Vic." His voice was closer and she did jump this time as a warm hand gently but firmly pressed her leg just above her knee "Vic?" she shuddered and the hand and the voice withdrew.
He gave her a moment to compose herself, looking away out over the gardens to the mountains, hazy and blue in the distance.
His next words shocked her to silence "I think Walt is in love with you."
She gaped at him in astonishment and yet her heart skipped a beat, and then began pounding faster and faster 'could it be true? could it be true?' Ignoring her traitorous pulse, she managed to squeak out of a suddenly dry throat "What the fuck?"
John smiled at her briefly and shook his head "Actually I have no idea, and I am breaking several medical ethics rules even having this conversation with you. The problem is that Walt refuses to talk about you beyond any professional references. Yet I know the two of you have been close, been partners who put their lives in each others hands on many occasions. That forms a bond, between any partners, regardless of gender."
"I've seen that in the field many times, being under fire bonds two people in a way no one else can understand. Yet I think its more than that, and Walt's refusal to talk about you and your relationship with him has been the one thing I just cannot work through or around."
"You have been a major part of his live for several years now Vic. Why won't he talk about that when we have talked about everything else in his life?"
She licked dry lips and swallowed "Martha? Branch? … Barlow?"
He nodded "Yes all of that and more." He grimaced in frustration "Everything except for you Vic. And I can only speculate as to why."
"I'm listening."
He barked a laugh "Yeah and not giving anything away either." She relaxed just a smidgeon, and then a little more as he carried on, not looking at her, idly plucking at the empty pant material where his lower leg used to be
"Walt is a man who personifies 'still waters run deep'" Vic nodded, that was the truth "I think the reason we were able to talk about everything else in his life was that it had happened, it had played out. Events were completed, nothing further could change. All that was left was how Walt perceived things, how he chose to react or respond to those events."
"I think the reason he won't talk about you is that whatever is happening, or has happened, hasn't finished yet. He won't talk about it because its too fresh or raw." He paused for a long moment and then looked up at her with a considering look on his face "Or too special for him to share it with someone else, if that someone isn't you."
She stared at him, shaken by the logic, and the possibilities of what it meant and eventually managed to find enough voice to reply "So what do you want me to do about it? That's why I'm here, right?"
He pursed his lips in thought "Vic I just wanted you to know. I'm not sure if I am right or not, maybe I'm just not good enough to deal with Walt where he is in this place right now. Maybe I just need to give him more time. "
"But if there is any chance I am right, I suspect the only way this is going to be resolved is that the two of you will have to talk about this, clear the air or whatever. Because until there is some form of closure, its going to eat away at him and undo all the hard work we have put in so far. That's the real reason I am telling you this. Walt is not a man who lets go easily, and I don't know why but he can't seem to let go of you."
He gathered his crutches and rose to his feet, staring down at her "I know you care about him Vic, no one runs away from their injured husband and towards a gunfight for someone they don't care about." And with those words hanging in the air behind him, he made his way back across the rose garden towards the entrance way.
Well.
Fuck.
What the fucking hell was she supposed to do with that?
Delicious readers! The plot thickens indeed. Thanks for all the comments, esp those who are liking my shrink OC - it turns out Walt and Vic *can* have a conversation so long as someone else is doing the talking!
