Hey guys! No this is not an April Fool's joke, I promise. :P Happy April! Hopefully the day (night?) is finding you well. I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy all these random scenarios I keep throwing at you. This one's pretty self-explanatory, but it's one that every family has to go through, sooner or later. I don't know if this is a weird place to say this, but I'm not really sure what the longevity of this story is going to be. I basically started writing these every time I got an idea and I've got five left (including this one) but I've always seen it as a collection of one-shots instead of an actual, full-length story. So basically once I finish posting the five chapters... That's it until I get another idea lol. And I'm sure the interest will come back- it's always come and gone in waves- but right now it's pretty dormant. We'll see! We'll see!
Anyway, the chapter title comes from "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars. Thanks for sticking by me, love bugs. Keep on keeping on. :)
you'll always have my shoulder when you cry
Without a doubt, this is the proudest he's ever been.
There are few instances that measure up to the kind of elation and pride he feels at this very moment. It's a beautiful breezy day in mid-June and the entire family is dressed as nicely as can be, seated comfortably in front of the stage as the ceremony takes place. It's hard to believe that they're already here; it seems like only yesterday he was rocking her to sleep and singing her favorite lullaby and now, here she is, about to graduate high school and make her way into the world. Lilly and Henry are seated beside him, trying to come to terms with their sister's departure and how strange their home would feel without her when she leaves for college in the fall. Spencer's on his other side trying to keep it together. She keeps folding and re-folding the program, eyes trained hard on the list of names and the special symbols beside them, signifying any awards and scholarships the graduates had received, and after a while it drives Toby crazy. He reaches out and grasps both of her hands in one of his own, his eyes seeking out hers. She glances up at him and gives him a smile that's not entirely happy and not entirely sad. Bittersweet, he thinks. Bittersweet is the perfect word to describe Grace's high school graduation.
She's class president, co-chair of the prom committee, valedictorian and a member of innumerous sports teams and clubs; her full name is listed in the school's graduate program with a multitude of symbols beside it, signifying her high honors. As she steps onto the stage, her tassel is gold, symbolizing her place on the honor roll, and she wears a medal and a golden cord for having a GPA of 95 or higher and being a member of the National Honors Society, respectively. Toby hadn't even been aware of all the things Grace had accomplished until they were all listed right there in front of him. Her stunning achievements are too many to count and he can't express the surge of pride and elation he feels right about now. She is very much her mother's daughter so he can't say he's surprised, but what does seem to amaze him is that she'd managed all of this and still kept a smile on her face. Throughout all the stress and toil, she'd still remained their positive, carefree daughter and hadn't expressed any inkling of the crippling anxiety that had plagued her mother. It's a miracle, really, and they're all thanking their lucky stars.
Midway through the ceremony, the principal announces her name and to a smattering of applause, she stands and graciously takes the stage. Her speech is poised and perfectly polished and Toby gets it all on tape while beside him, Spencer's snapping photos with shaking hands. They're nervous enough for all three of them, but Grace doesn't seem to be. Her smile is so bright and she speaks easily about growing up and moving on and it brings a tear to both her parents' eyes. She's upbeat and easygoing and talks to the audience like they're all her best friends. And when she's finished, she receives thunderous applause and a standing ovation from her family. Moments later, she and the rest of her graduating class cross the stage and switch their tassels from one side to the other and toss their caps high into the air. She'd done it; she'd gone out, given her all, and completed her high school curriculum. And now, the world is at her fingertips and though bittersweet, her parents are ready for her to conquer that, too.
Her graduation party takes place in their backyard that very same day. They hire a DJ and a bouncy house and a caterer, pulling out all the stops. All their friends, family and neighbors are invited and it's clear this is going to be quite the celebration. As Toby makes his rounds throughout the party, checking the drink supply and bringing food to the DJ and making sure the alcohol stays solely with the adults (that part's a bit more difficult than he'd expected), he tries to keep his mind mainly on the fact that today is a cause for celebration, not despair. They still have two full months with Grace before she sets off for college. At one end of their yard, Henry is racing a few neighbors of theirs from the swing set to the bouncy house, his head thrown back in laughter. Lilly's got her feet dangling in cool waters of their pool, sitting side by side with a friend of hers and Aria's son, Frankie. And Grace is grinning alongside her three best friends, McKenzie, Brynn and Harper, as they discuss what's to come. Toby smiles complacently and wonders how they're already here and where the time has gone.
"That was a beautiful speech she gave today," A voice sounds from beside him and when he turns, Emily is beaming. "You must be so proud of her."
"I am," Toby nods. "It really was amazing."
"I didn't expect anything less," Emily comments. "Had you heard it before?"
"No way," He shakes his head. "She wouldn't let us anywhere near it. She practiced it in front of Lilly, but then swore her to secrecy. She wanted it to be a surprise, I guess."
"And it was."
"It was," Toby nods. "An amazing one."
"Can you believe it?" Emily sighs. "Eighteen. Heading to college. Where did our babies go?"
"I don't know," Toby agrees. "It's kind of crazy, isn't it?"
"Kind of?" Emily exclaims. "I remember coming to visit you in the city when Grace was just a tiny little baby. You'd feed her and rock her to sleep. You loved that little baby."
"Still do. She'll always be my baby," Toby says. "But what about you? I remember going with you to meet the birth mother that one time Paige had the flu. That was the visit you learned the gender and got more than you bargained for."
"Yeah," Emily laughs. "I asked if she was having a boy or a girl and she said both. I almost had a heart attack. What a visit for Paige to miss."
"It ended up working out," Toby shrugs. "You got one of each and the birth mom got to go back to being a teenager."
"I wonder if she ever thinks about them," Emily says. "She'd be like thirty-four now. She might have kids of her own. I wonder if she ever wonders how her twins turned out."
"I'll bet she does. Everyday," Toby says. "And they're great kids. She made the right choice in picking you two."
"Thanks Toby," Emily smiles. "And they are great; all of them are. This must be what it's like to have a normal childhood. Who knew?"
Toby glances over at their children and agrees. Grace, with his eyes and Spencer's personality, conversing easily with Brynn, Emily's timidity but Paige's sense of humor shining through. Blonde, like Hanna, and unbearably witty, like Caleb, McKenzie reaches over Harper to grab a drink, who's artsy and a hopeless romantic, like her mother, but possesses the sharp tongue of her father. Not one of these children, and this of course includes Lilly, Henry, Frankie and Bennett, too, has the same type of personality, and it fascinates Toby that somehow, even though they'd all more or less grown up together, they'd all turned out so different. Nothing makes him happier, though, than the reassuring thought that they had all grown up without the despair and terror found in his and his friends' own childhoods. No, their children had known lives of love and happiness and were all the better for it.
"So how are you doing?" Toby then asks. "With the thought of the twins leaving and all?"
"I don't think it's quite hit me yet," Emily admits. "It's definitely hit Paige. She's micromanaging every little thing, lately. But I don't know. Maybe it won't get to me until we drop them off. That'll be really hard."
"Yeah," Toby nods. "That's going to be difficult."
"What about you?" Emily implores. "You seem okay. How's Spencer?"
"I guess I'm fine for now," Toby considers. "I don't think it's hit me yet, either. Spencer's kind of a mess, but she's pretending she isn't."
Emily chuckles the slightest bit. "That sounds like her."
From the distance, a car locks with a resounding beep and after a moment, a tall young boy heads up their driveway and onto the yard. He smiles politely at Toby and there's still a sense of nerves in his eye even two years later. "Hi, Mr. Cavanaugh. How are you?"
"Doing great, Liam," Toby smiles back, clapping him on the shoulder. "Congratulations on your graduation. I'm glad you could make it."
Liam nods quickly and Toby wonders if he was this anxious, this uneasy around Spencer's parents way back when. He knows he probably was. "Thank you. I wouldn't miss it."
With a final smile, he bounds off towards Grace, who squeals excitedly and kisses him in greeting. Toby's not going to lie- it still makes him cringe inwardly, just a tad. Emily comments, "Wow, so that's the prodigal boyfriend, huh? I don't think I've ever seen him in the flesh."
"Yeah, he's a good kid," Toby says. "A little anxious, but a nice guy."
"Can you blame him?" Emily smirks. "You were the same way around Peter and Veronica."
Well. There's his answer. Eyebrows raised, Toby says, "Okay, but they were terrifying. I'm nice."
"You are nice," Emily chuckles. "But you're still his girlfriend's father. How long have they been dating, anyway?"
"I don't know, like two years?" Toby replies. "Grace is freaking out about it now, though, because she claims long distance relationships never work out. I told her that if that were true, she wouldn't even be here right now."
Emily grins. "That's true. We all managed it. But we were all kind of special cases. No one goes through what we went through with all our significant others and then just drops them."
"You're right," Toby nods. "I guess our situation was different."
Across the lawn, however, something else catches his eye. Spencer's laughing at something Hanna's just said and when she composes herself, she slips from the conversation back into the house for some snack refills. But she's moving less purposefully than usual and her smile seems somewhat forced; she's not as put together as she'd like to seem. And Toby doesn't want to detract from the party and he knows deep down she's having a great time and she's just as proud and excited for their daughter as he is, but he also knows her and he doesn't have to be with her to know that something isn't right. He watches her absentmindedly refill the bowls of chips and salsa and has the overwhelming urge to pull her aside and ask if everything's all right. After a beat, that urge becomes unbearable and impossible to ignore.
"Em, I'll be right back," Toby promises. "I'm going to go check on Spencer. That's the third time she's refilled the bowl of salsa and I don't even think anyone's eating it."
Emily chuckles. "That's okay. I just saw Henry and Bennett head for the bouncy castle and I need to remind Ben that your son isn't a ragdoll before he breaks another one of his limbs."
Toby smiles at the memory. "That was years ago and to be honest, it was mostly Henry's fault. We've forgiven you if you'll forgive us."
"Still," Emily shrugs. "Your son's almost ten and mine's eighteen. I think, sometimes, they think they're the same age."
Toby laughs and allows her to set off as he heads up to the deck in search of his wife. She's folding and rearranging paper napkins when he approaches and the smile she shoots him is only slightly genuine. "Hey. I haven't seen you all party. Where have you been?"
"Here and there," He comments nonchalantly, and then touches her elbow, bringing her eyes to his. "Are you okay?"
"Okay? Why wouldn't I be?" Spencer wonders. "My daughter graduated high school today and I can't even express how happy I am for her."
"I know you are," Toby nods. "You just seem a little… off."
"Yeah, well," She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and lowers her voice to say, "I'm not going to lose it in front of all my friends and family."
"Then come here," Toby beckons, slipping his hand into hers and leading her to the sliding glass door. "Let's take a breather somewhere a little more private."
They step into the silence of the kitchen, watching the buzz of the party from afar. Toby's eyes are searching her face for answers, but they needn't look too far; she offers them willingly. "I'm sorry, I'm just… I'm a little emotional today."
"That's understandable," Toby sympathizes, rubbing her shoulders. "Your first baby graduated high school. It's happy and it's sad at the same time."
She nods and her eyes fill with tears, but she shakes her head, blinking them away. "God, I was never a crier! Being a mother has made me such a sap."
He laughs. "No, it makes you human. It's okay to be emotional. Aria's been a weeping mess since we left the school."
Spencer's quiet a moment before asking, "Can I tell you something?"
"You can tell me anything."
"I'm only telling you because I have to tell someone and you've never judged me for anything my entire life," Spencer sighs. "I know it's irrational but… Our kids are eighteen, twelve and almost ten. Our oldest just graduated high school and is leaving for college in August. And I just… I suddenly feel like I'm losing them. Like they're all growing up so fast and they're going to leave and not need me anymore. And that scares me. A lot."
"Oh Spence," He frowns and reaches forward, collecting her in an embrace. She clings to him like he's her lifeline. "It's not irrational, I promise you."
"It's not?" She mumbles, her face pressed against his chest.
"It's not," He confirms. "As they're getting older and learning to do things they couldn't before and becoming more self-sufficient, it's natural for you to feel like that, like they don't need you. But take it from someone who lost their mother very early in life- they will always need you. That will never change."
She glances up, meets his eyes. "It won't?"
"It won't," Toby shakes his head. "It's been almost thirty years since I lost mine and I still think about her every day. I still wish I could talk to her. I still need her. And even when our kids are married and have their own kids, they'll still need you."
Spencer's hanging on his every word. "They will?"
"Of course," He assures her. "I know how much you love them. They know how much you love them. And they love you just as much. So yeah, they're going to get older and they're going to move out and move on with their lives and things are going to change. They're not always going to be living here, fighting over who gets to pick the movie for family movie nights or eating pancakes on Saturday mornings. But they'll always need you; whether it's for advice or for a hug or just to hear your voice. They always will. And so will I."
This is what prompts a day's worth of repressed emotion from her eyes. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks and Toby's immediately apologetic, wiping the salty liquid from her face. "Babe, no, don't cry. I wasn't trying to make you cry."
"Well, that's just how talented you are, isn't it?" She sniffles and brings him in for another hug. "I hope you never feel like this. I need you so goddamned much, Toby Cavanaugh, it's not even funny."
Despite the grim nature, he grins. "I love you."
"I love you, too," She says, pulling herself together and placing a kiss upon his lips. "Thank you."
"All better?" He asks and she nods.
"Moment of weakness. I'm sorry."
"Don't be," He waves it off. "But let's go celebrate now, yeah? We've got two more months with Grace before she leaves. We'll be sad then."
"Yeah, you're right," Spencer shakes her head, a real smile coming across her lips, this time. "There's no time to wallow in self-pity. This is about Grace's accomplishments. Let's party."
"That's the spirit," Toby says. "Two months is months from now. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
It turns out, two months fly by when there's something at the end of that time frame that you're dreading.
Perhaps dreading is a bit of an overstatement, but it isn't like Spencer is particularly anxious to see her daughter leave. She's so, so incredibly proud of her and of all her endeavors and she truly cannot wait for Grace to have all the experiences in college that she'd had. College truly is a life-changing experience. It's a chance for her to grow as a person, to find out who she really is, to try new things and learn all the different facets of her personality. Spencer's time in college was easily the best four years of her life and she knows Grace will have a great time and learn a plethora of new things and be challenged in a way she's never been before. But that doesn't make the goodbye any easier. She has absolutely no idea what she's going to do without her oldest daughter at home. Likely, from here on out, their home would be incomplete.
The summer passes by much too quickly for all their liking. Grace works at a summer camp wrangling six-year-olds and Lilly destroys her summer reading list, finishing book after book, and Henry goes to sleep away camp for the first time and is gone for two weeks in July. He comes back with the knowledge of how to start a fire, how to shoot an arrow and how to identify poison ivy. The entire family takes a much-needed vacation to Ocean City the first week of August and they spend the entire week bathing in the ocean and building sandcastles and cracking open crabs with their bare hands for dinner. When they return, Grace completes her shopping lists for college and begins to box up her things and pores Google for innovative and efficient dorm ideas, ready for the big move. She connects with her prospective roommate through social media, receives her Welcome Weekend packet and agenda in the mail and soon enough, it's the night before she leaves.
She'll be attending Dartmouth much to her family's amazement and her cousin's chagrin. It's something that Spencer's always been uneasy about- her competition with Vivian- and something she, unfortunately, has firsthand experience with. They're two completely different girls with two completely different personalities, and yet they still try to do everything in their power to one-up the other. What's worse is that Spencer believes her own parents learned nothing from raising her and Melissa and are actually fueling and encouraging the competition between their granddaughters. It irritates her to no end. She personally doesn't care where Grace goes to school so long as she's happy where she is. And so far, it looks like she's going to be; when they'd visited for Accepted Student's Day, Grace's face had completely lit up and she'd been in her element. It's a little over four hours from their door to the campus, which is far enough away that she has room for independence and close enough that she can always come home for long weekends. Grace hadn't exactly been excited about the coming home part; Spencer guesses it's mainly a perk for her and Toby.
Currently, they're dining at a family favorite restaurant in celebration of Grace's upcoming departure. Toby's just ordered dessert for the entire table to share and Grace is giggling hysterically at something Henry's just said. Truth be told, as the waitress sets down their eighteen-layer chocolate cake, Spencer's attention is on her middle child, who's sitting calmly and quietly, her eyes downcast. Unlike her other two children, who are quick to outwardly express their happiness and disdain alike, Lilly subdues many of her emotions and is the most difficult to read. She's selfless and humble and is always quick to allow her own feelings take the backseat whenever her siblings or friends are involved. It's hard to tell where her head is right now as she accepts the fork her father's handed her wordlessly. Spencer takes one too and vows to keep an eye trained on her.
"Before we all dig in, I just want to propose a toast," Toby announces first and Grace rolls her eyes playfully. "To Grace!"
"A toast? With cake?" Grace teases. "Shouldn't we be doing this with champagne or something?"
"None of you are legal," Toby shakes his head. "So I don't think so."
"In eight more years, I can drink," Henry pipes up. "We're getting closer."
"Uh, try eleven." Grace says. "Math isn't your strong point, huh?"
"That's what I meant!" Henry replies. "What can I do when I'm eighteen?"
"Order stuff online. Go to college. Vote," Grace lists. "All the stuff I'm doing."
"Boring," Henry comments. "Besides, didn't you have a drink before, Grace?"
"What are you talking about?" Grace covers nonchalantly, shooting her brother a death glare. "I've never had a drink in my life."
"No, at Kenzie's party, I remember," Henry continues. "You told me at her party- ow!"
A swift elbow to the ribs shuts him right up. Grace smiles complacently and urges, "Dad, you were saying?"
"Right," Toby nods. "I was saying-"
"Your physical violence was unnecessary," Spencer tells her daughter. "You're a terrible liar. I've known you were drinking at McKenzie's party for months now."
Grace sighs. "How?"
"Does it matter?" Spencer asks. "Look, I'm not naïve enough to think kids your age don't drink and believe me, they certainly do in college, but you know underage drinking is dangerous and I need you to promise me you'll be responsible."
"Mom, seriously? Okay, first of all, we were drinking wine coolers. It's not like we were downing shots of tequila or funneling beer," Grace explains. "And second, it was a sleepover so we didn't get behind the wheel of a car and third, don't tell me you never drank before you were legal. There is absolutely no way that's true."
Spencer purses her lips before turning to her husband. "Toby, you were saying?"
"I was saying-"
"What does alcohol even taste like?" Henry asks, curiosity piqued and Grace shrugs.
"Not great," She replies. "Kind of like soda, but less carbonated and more burning."
"Sounds gross," Henry says. "Why do people even like it?"
"I guess you get used to it after a while."
"I cannot believe we're having this conversation with a ten-year-old," Spencer says. "Guys, I'm pretty sure your father was going to say something very nice about Grace. Can we let him say it, please?"
"Thank you," Toby says finally. "But, to be honest, I don't really remember what I was going to say now, so eat some cake and good luck, Grace."
Grace giggles profusely, digging in for the first bite. "Thanks, Dad."
As the others reach forward and snag themselves a bite, Spencer's attention is once again pulled to Lilly, who sets her fork down on the table and glances back at her lap. Swallowing a bit of cake, Spencer asks, "Lil? You alright?"
Her eyes snap to her mother's and widen slightly, but she nods quickly. Spencer's not buying it. "Are you sure? You barely ate any dinner and now you don't want dessert either? It's your favorite."
Lilly shrugs. "I'm not really hungry."
Concerned, she then probes, "Are you feeling okay?"
A small nod is her response once more and Grace adds, "Is that your final answer, Lilly? Because you know how Henry is. If you don't get a forkful in now, you never will."
"Hey! Not fair!" Henry shouts. "You've already eaten more than me!"
"I have not!"
"Are you really arguing about cake?" Toby chuckles. "Do you two have to argue about everything?"
"That's how we keep things interesting," Grace shrugs, another bite of cake on the way to her mouth. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."
Henry nods matter-of-factly. "What she said."
From there, conversation turns to the many things Grace is anxiously anticipating when her brand new college career begins as they finish up their dessert and pay the check. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, as bedtime always has been, right from the start, but eventually, all is quiet and settled in their household. The air conditioning clicks on and hums into the serene evening and Toby's on one end of the couch, trying to find the quickest route to Hanover for the next day. It becomes very clear to Spencer that this is the last night until Thanksgiving, most likely, that all five of them will be sleeping under one roof. And she knows better than most that once you leave your childhood home, something about it will always feel foreign and it will never quite feel like home again. She feels her anxiety begin to rise again and makes a spur of the moment decision.
Toby doesn't even glance up as Spencer uncorks a bottle of cabernet, but he smirks all the same. "Were you inspired by our dinner conversation?"
"Hey, our kid's moving to college tomorrow, Tobes," She says, pouring them each a glass. "We're drinking."
"Fair enough," He replies and clinks his together with hers as they take identical sips. "Remember when we used to think wine was disgusting?"
"Yeah," She grins. "That was before we learned how to be classy."
He chuckles. "I guess you could say that."
Sipping a bit more slowly, she finds herself asking, "Do you think she'll be alright?"
"Grace? Are you kidding?" Toby implores. "Of course she'll be alright. Of the three of them, Grace is the one I never worry about."
"Really?" Spencer asks. "I worry about all of them."
"Of course you do. You're their mother. That's your job," He teases and she swats at him. "But honestly. This is the girl who won an eight a.m. tennis match and then performed in two shows of Bye, Bye Birdie in the same day. And after she got home from the eight o'clock show she proceeded to remove her stage makeup and study for an econ test."
"Which she got a ninety-seven on," Spencer adds and then shakes her head. "Our daughter makes me look like an amateur."
Toby grins. "She'll be fine. No, she doesn't handle stress well, but she doesn't get stressed often. And she's proven time and time again how good she is at multitasking. She makes friends pretty easily, she's a positive thinker, she's a mini Einstein like her mother… I don't think she'll be all right. I know she will."
Spencer sighs and after a minute, asks, "Will we?"
Toby matches her sigh almost instantly. "Jury's still out on that one."
"I'm going to miss her so much," Spencer admits and Toby nods his agreement, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "It's going to be so weird being here without her. Do you think she'll be homesick?"
Toby considers this for a moment. "Honestly, I don't know. Maybe a little, at first. Were you?"
"Not really," Spencer shakes her head. "I missed people, not places. I missed the girls a lot. I used to see them everyday and then I didn't and I had a hard time adjusting to that. I missed my Mom and, on occasion, my Dad. I missed you. I thought I'd go out of my mind from missing you so much."
"Yeah, been there," Toby says. "Good thing we never have to go through that again."
She nods and then probes, "Everything's going to be so different now, isn't it?"
"Yeah," He affirms. "But we knew it was coming from the beginning. And we've got to do this twice more, remember. We might as well try and get used to it."
She takes his words to heart as they finish their glasses and head into the kitchen, turning off lights and preparing the house for their slumber. Toby offers to stay back a bit and wash them and instead, Spencer softly pads up the stairs to check on their children, who'd gone to bed hours ago. Henry's first and his room is a mess- something she'll have to beg him to rectify in the morning- but he's passed out cold, on his stomach, a cheek against the pillow. He's got an arm hanging off the side of the bed and half of his comforter is on the floor, which makes his mother chuckle as she bends down to tuck it back in place more firmly around him. She presses a kiss to his forehead next and whispers her love before exiting and quietly shutting the door behind her. Lilly's next, but as she approaches her daughter's bedroom door, concern knits her eyebrows together and she can feel her heart clench painfully in her chest. For instead of matching her brother's silence, Lilly's bedroom is echoing despaired sniffles and right off the bat, Spencer knows she's crying.
Pushing the door open, her suspicions are confirmed. Lilly's curled up in the fetal position, tears streaming from her eyes as she frantically wipes them away. She makes no motion to indicate she's heard her mother enter, but as Spencer sits down on the bed beside her, her big, watery brown eyes glance toward her mother's. Laying a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder, Spencer asks, "Lilly, what's wrong? Are you sick? Does something hurt?"
Biting her lip, the young girl shakes her head, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest as more tears spill from her eyes. It physically pains her, as it always does, to see her children in despair. Even gentler still, Spencer prods, "Then what, honey? What's wrong?"
Her voice wavers when she finally admits, "I don't want Grace to go."
She should have known; honestly, this should have been the very first thing to cross her mind. Her two daughters had been very close from the beginning; Grace had brought ultrasound pictures of her sister-to-be for show and tell for three weeks in a row and once, in second grade, for an essay assignment on their favorite hero, Lilly had written about her older sister. For six years, Grace had known a life as an only child, but Lilly had never known a life without her older sister, and now, at this very prospect, she's panicking. For many years, Grace had been Lilly's voice when she'd been too shy or too overwhelmed to speak for herself and Spencer had watched their sisterly blond blossom with hardly a disagreement or argument between them. No wonder Lilly's imploding now. She feels as though she's losing her other half.
"Come here, sweetheart," Spencer beckons and holds her daughter in a tight embrace as Lilly clings to her, full of despair. "Why didn't you tell me you were this upset?"
Lilly shrugs and offers, "I didn't want to make you sad."
Honestly, this doesn't surprise her. She holds her even tighter in response. "I know this is going to be hard for you, Lilly. It's going to be hard for all of us. But we'll get through it together, right?"
She nods against her mother's chest, but the tears keep falling. Spencer wracks her brain trying to come up with something that might help. "Grace loves you so much and she's going to miss you just as much as you're going to miss her. You're the best sister she could ever ask for and I know she thinks so too."
"But Mom," Lilly cries. "She's not just my sister. She's my best friend."
This, of course, breaks Spencer's heart and prompts tears from her own eyes. She can't handle this. So now they're both crying messes, mother and daughter clinging to one another for support, and Spencer's thinking two things- that she can't relate to how Lilly feels at all, because she and Melissa have never been close, and that Toby is so much better at this comfort thing than she is. As if on cue, he appears in the doorway, and his eyes widen immediately at the sight before him. "Whoa. What did I miss?"
"We're upset about Grace leaving," Spencer says. "We need your help."
"I don't know how I'm going to help," Toby replies, sitting down on the opposite side of Lilly and wrapping both of his girls up into one embrace. "I'm sad, too. We all are. But she isn't leaving forever. She isn't moving away. She's just going to college. And yeah, it's going to be an adjustment, but we're still going to see her and we'll still talk to her everyday."
"Can we FaceTime with her?" Lilly asks, hopeful, and Toby nods, pulling back just a bit.
"Of course we can," He assures her. "We'll call, we'll FaceTime, we'll text… And we can go and visit her and she can come home for long weekends. We're all going to get through this."
Lilly ponders this a moment before saying, "It'll be hard, though."
"I know it will," Toby nods. "It's going to take some getting used to. But we can do it like we do everything- together. Right?"
Lilly nods, too. "Right."
He wraps his arms around his youngest daughter again and his eyes connect with Spencer's over her shoulder. She smiles warmly at him and now it's one hundred percent certain. He is light years better than her at this. Eventually, her tears subside and they tuck her into bed as they had when she was very little, folding down the sheets and comforter and each kissing one of her cheeks. They hug her tightly once more and tell her how they love her dearly, and last but not least, make their way to Grace's room. She's sound asleep, on her back, the crook of her elbow thrown over her eyes, but as they kiss her goodnight, they notice a silvery trail of tearstains painting the contours of her cheeks. With her thumbs, Spencer reaches to wipe them away and discovers they're still fresh. Easily, Grace had likely suffered in despair mere moments ago before falling into slumber.
And in this, Spencer and Toby learn that their girls are much more alike than they'd previously thought.
Grace buzzes excitedly the entire drive to Hanover, comments on every last detail of the dorm she's been assigned, and squeals with glee upon meeting her roommate in person, declaring they'll be the best of friends. She pores over a map of the campus and jokes she'll get terribly lost, reads through her class schedule and pokes fun at a couple of her professors' names, and points out the dining hall closest to her room, wondering aloud if the food is worth the hefty price of the meal plan. She titters about her side of the dorm room elatedly, arranges and rearranges the pillows on her bed, connects to the school's Wi-Fi, and takes extra care to hang all her clothes properly. Everything about the events of Welcome Weekend have her aglow. Everything, that is, except for the big goodbye.
It comes sooner than they'd like and Grace walks the family out to the car, suddenly quiet, shuffling her feet. Henry breaks the silence first by throwing his arms around his sister and declaring, "I'm giving you three weeks, Grace, and then I'm moving into your room."
It brings a smile to her face and she replies, "You better not."
"I'm gonna turn it into a clubhouse," Henry decides. "I'm thinking about putting monkey bars and a slide in there."
She pulls back to look him in the eye, incredulous. "That would never fit."
"Never say never," Henry shrugs and then grows a bit more somber. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too," Grace sighs. "I love you, Hen."
Henry frowns and says, "I love you, too."
Toby's next and he has tears in his eyes as he collects his daughter in a bone-crushing hug. "You're going to have a great time here. And you're going to learn a lot. I know you will."
Grace nods rapidly, tears falling from her own eyes and suddenly unstoppable. "I know."
"And if you ever want to come home," Toby promises. "For the night or for the weekend or forever, you call me and I will be out here as soon as I can. Okay?"
"Okay," She cries a bit harder and he holds her closer in response.
"I love you, monkey," He tells her. "Be safe, okay?"
"I love you too, Dad," Grace sniffles and desperately tries to keep her tears at bay, failing as she pulls away to embrace her mother.
Remarkably, Spencer's managed to hold herself together until right about now. Turns out, saying goodbye to her daughter, if only for a short period of time, is something she never could have mentally prepared for. "Gracie, I am so proud of you. You're going to have the time of your life. But I'm going to miss you so much."
Grace merely nods, saying, "I love you."
"I love you, babe," Spencer says and kisses her crown twice. "If you need anything, anything at all, call or text me. Do you understand?"
"Uh huh," Grace nods again, and wipes at her face uselessly.
Lilly's already bawling by the time her sister pulls her in for a hug. Grace utters, "Bye Lilly Pad."
"Bye Grace Face," Lilly says. "FaceTime me every single day?"
Grace nods her promise. "Of course."
And with one last hug and a few dozen tears, Grace turns and heads back into the dormitory. On the way back, she glances over her shoulder and waves, each member of her family returning it genuinely. They watch her retreating back until it's out of sight and then, with nothing else left to do, they climb into the car to start their journey home. It feels just as empty and incomplete as Spencer's always expected and it tugs at each of her heartstrings. Glancing at the backseat, she notes Henry's got a forehead up against the cool glass window, a frown on his ultimately unhappy face. Lilly's chin's in her hand and every so often, her other meets her cheek to wipe away a few stray tears. Toby's got both eyes on the road, but as he pulls onto the highway, he shoots her a look saying everything he can't.
She smiles appreciatively and covers one of his hands with hers. "I know."
The open road greets them in moments and this is much harder than she'd thought it would be. Somehow, they'll make it through together.
