Brian wasn't sure how to handle Justin's visit that night. Should they do what they would have done before the bashing and simply fuck all night? Or should Brian attempt to make the evening into a date? If he decided on the latter, he had no idea where to start. He was torn. On the one hand, he didn't want their relationship to progress the same way it had the last time. On the other, he wasn't exactly sure what had made the boy fall for and remain in love with him, so he was a little nervous about making changes. What if he made changes, and they actually caused the boy to fall out of love with him? Brian groaned. He had to press forward, as uncomfortable and nervous as it might make him. Justin had changed Brian, and, now, for better or worse, they couldn't go back.

The question was, how should they move forward? Brian spent an hour online perusing dating Web sites for ideas. Most were insanely ridiculous. He was not about to take Justin to the zoo (how old were the people the authors dated? Five?) or suggest that they participate in a "volunteer activity" together. He laughed out loud as he imagined himself at a soup kitchen in Armani surrounded by filthy smelly homeless people and wearing a hair net. No fucking way! However, some of the ideas weren't too awful. He finally settled on their eating a home-cooked meal together and watching a DVD and/or playing some kind of game (though it would need to be of the "strip" variety). To create the appropriate atmosphere for a romantic slow dance or two, he might also buy a CD and some candles (just thinking about owning, let alone using, candles made him shudder).

*******

Justin, clad in tight black jeans and a bright red velour pullover, with a v-neck and long sleeves, pressed the buzzer, trembling a bit as he did so.

Brian guessed that it was Justin, so he responded to the ring with a sultry "Hello, Kitten. You're right on time. Come on up."

Justin smiled brightly and entered the building.

Brian had opted to wear a royal blue satin button-down shirt (the top three buttons undone) with faded light blue jeans, and, of course, no shoes or socks. He finished giving his hair a freshly fucked look, grabbed something off the counter, and walked over to the door. He wondered if he should wait for the boy to knock. He decided against this, sliding the door open and leaning against it so that he was facing the stairs. His arms were hanging down, his hands behind his back. He cleared his throat and tried to appear nonchalant, but, when Justin finally emerged from the stairwell, Brian started a bit before regaining his composure.

Justin's breath caught in his throat when his eyes lighted on Brian. Justin thought he looked so incredibly sexy, leaning against the door coolly. He had a small smile on his lips, but his eyes were serious.

Justin closed the distance between them quickly and offered a soft (and a little shy), "Hi."

Brian reached out with both arms and pulled Justin to him, kissing him gently on the lips before thrusting his tongue in the boy's mouth and kissing him deeply. They pulled back slowly a minute later, both breathless and flushed. Brian moved his right hand between them and surprised Justin by caressing his cheek with what he'd been holding in his hand.

Justin smiled brightly and exclaimed, "Oh! A rose!"

A red thornless rose, to be exact.

Then, he breathed, "It's beautiful" and took it from Brian.

Brian studied Justin's face carefully, on the lookout for any sign that the boy's opinion of him had changed, good or bad. He seemed a little shocked but genuinely happy. Brian was very tempted to slip back into his comfort zone, that is, doing a strip tease on his way to the bed and fucking Justin senseless. Brian took a deep breath. No. He'd press on. The one thing no one could ever accuse him of being was a scared little faggot, not in any situation.

So he took the boy's hand and pulled him inside, asking, "Are you hungry?"

Brian was sure that this part of the 'date' would go over well. The boy was as much a slut for food as he was for sex (with Brian, anyway).

Justin's eyes widened a bit (Brian chuckled inwardly. He guessed that that was the last thing Justin was expecting, well, unless what was on the menu was a high-protein snack), but, then, he smiled.

He replied enthusiastically, "Actually, yeah. I could definitely eat."

Brian said en route to the kitchen, "The chicken is almost done. I just need to put together the appetizer and the salad. But that won't take long."

Justin sat at the counter, watching as Brian sliced cantaloupe. Justin put the flower Brian had given him up to his nose to take in its delicate aroma. He couldn't help but think that this man was full of surprises. Never in a million years would he have expected a rose and a home-cooked meal. Yet despite these romantic touches, the man still exuded sex, confidence, and depth.

Suddenly, Justin felt something soft and cool against his lips. He looked up to see Brian running a piece of cantaloupe (maybe 3 or 4 inches long) lightly against them. Brian drawled, "Open up, Kitten."

Justin did, and Brian slid the fruit inside the boy's mouth, his eyes darkening with desire as he watched the boy's plump lips sliding along its length. Brian's sexy voice, coupled with the lust in his eyes, caused a wave of heat to pass through Justin's body. If Brian kept on this way, dinner would be torture. Justin might just end up ravishing the man. His face was flushed just thinking about it.

Brian raised an eyebrow and asked, "What has you all hot and bothered, Kitten?"

Justin replied softly, "You."

That went right to Brian's cock. He wasn't sure how long he could hold off fucking the boy. He was already incredibly hard.

Brian never, never, cooked, so he was a little out of his element. Truth be told, he would probably spend the entire evening feeling like a fish out of water. However, he knew how to sell. Appearance was everything. So he'd decided to make prosciutto and cantaloupe appetizers, baked chicken that he'd marinated in orange, lemon, and pineapple juice, and a salad (romaine lettuce, baby spinach, cranberries, walnuts, and raspberries with raspberry vinaigrette dressing). Simple but attractive and (he hoped) tasty. The appetizers made, Justin was setting the table while Brian finished the salad. Once Brian had, he turned to watch Justin reaching for plates in a tall cupboard. For a moment, he simply admired the boy's ass, but, then, he realized that he was having trouble. He chuckled.

Brian said, "Here, let me help."

He walked up behind the boy, standing as close as possible, reached up over him for the plates, and set them on the counter. Then, Brian slid his arms around him and placed a few open-mouthed kisses on his neck. In response, Justin leaned his head back on Brian's shoulder, rubbed his ass against Brian's very obvious erection, and moaned softly. Brian looked down at Justin's face. His eyes were closed, his face flushed, and his mouth open slightly. Irresistible. Brian's resolve was almost non-existent at this point, but, somehow, he managed to kiss Justin's soft (luscious) lips chastely and push the boy away from him, though gently.

Brian turned around quickly, regulated his breathing with sheer willpower, and said as evenly as possible, "I'd better check on the chicken. Why don't you put the plates on the table and have a seat on the couch? I'll bring out the appetizers."

Justin was confused and a little hurt. Why had Brian pushed him away? The man clearly wanted him. He'd felt his erection pressing against him. Justin placed the plates on the table and then sat down on the couch. Brian soon followed with the appetizers and two glasses of white wine. He sat down next to Justin, set everything on the table, and placed his arm around Justin's shoulder. Then, he took one of the prosciutto and cantaloupe appetizers and held it up to the boy's mouth, smiling and tilting his head as he did so.

He drawled, "Open up, Kitten"

Justin smiled brightly (he loved Brian's pet name for him) and opened his mouth, allowing Brian to feed him. After he finished chewing and swallowing, Justin exclaimed, "Mmm. Those are delicious!"

Brian looked at Justin curiously and then leaned in, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss that left them both breathless. Afterward, Brian asserted, "I agree. Delicious," but he was staring at Justin's lips as he said it. The boy blushed prettily. Brian continued to feed him appetizers, kissing him each time as before. Just when Justin thought he could take no more and was a hair's breadth from straddling the man or freeing the man's cock and sucking him off, the oven buzzer sounded.

Brian stood up quickly. He said, "Looks like it's dinnertime."

He couldn't have been more relieved. He had been seconds away from flipping the boy over and fucking him into tomorrow.

As Brian served dinner, he thought he saw resolve and a naughty glint in Justin's eyes very reminiscent of looks the boy had given him many times over the last year. Before the bashing. Before he'd almost died. Before he'd forgotten about Brian's very existence. The look both filled him with happiness and nearly overwhelmed him with sadness. His chest ached as he allowed himself to indulge in a way that he hadn't since that first night in the hospital, remembering their many good times. Brian turned away quickly and blinked a few times. Then he sat down and smiled. He was going to enjoy watching the boy come into his own again. He refused to let maudlin thoughts ruin what good times were ahead of them, for that may be all they had left.

Justin then set about torturing him. He ate the salad with his fingers, dunking (one at a time) the raspberries, cranberries, walnuts, and lettuce in dressing and licking it off before placing them in his mouth. Finally, as the naughty pièce de résistance, he'd lick off the dressing that had dripped onto his fingers, even going so far as drawing his fingers into his mouth and sucking on them gently. Brian had no idea how he managed to eat, for he had his eyes trained on Justin the entire time. As they were clearing the table, Justin accidentally on purpose bumped into Brian, rubbing his ass against the man's, by now, painfully erect cock. When Brian unwittingly let out a soft growl, Justin winked at him. Suddenly, Brian grabbed the boy and pushed him against a pillar. Justin quirked an eyebrow and licked his lips. Now they were getting somewhere, the boy thought.

Brian was about to ravish the boy, when he was struck by the memory of Justin looking just like this (so many times) what seemed like an eternity ago. In the early part of their relationship or whatever, Justin needed to drive Brian wild to get his attention, to keep it focused on him, if only for a little while. Brian didn't want to go back to that. He looked down at the floor and rolled his lips into his mouth.

Justin was baffled. For the second time that night, despite the fact that Brian clearly wanted him, he hesitated to fuck him.

In a small voice, Justin asked, "Don't you want me?"

Brian snapped his head up, and their eyes met. Justin was startled by the intensity of Brian's eyes. They contained the most profound hunger, the deepest lust. Here was the predator Justin had encountered last night in that alley.

Brian replied, "Justin, you said you believed I was the man from your dreams, that we were fated to be together…"

Justin nodded slowly, not understanding.

Brian was not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve or to make emotional declarations. In fact, the thought of 'sharing' made him a little ill, but he needed to do something. Somehow, despite his efforts to the contrary, Brian and Justin's relationship seemed to be proceeding as it had before. For a moment, he wondered if this type of relationship was all he and Justin were capable of having. However, he immediately rejected that possibility. No. Fuck that! He would simply need to take more extreme measures. So after a deep breath, he dove in head first, hoping that his desire for more would not wreck everything.

He asked carefully, "Do you remember when I said last night that I thought our meeting was fated?"

Justin stiffened, both excited and frightened by this turn in their conversation. He was so afraid that Brian would take back what he'd said, that Brian hadn't really meant it. Yet some part of him was certain that Brian wasn't the kind of man who would say something he didn't mean. He replied softly, "Yes."

Brian felt a twinge of guilt about not telling Justin the truth of their past, but he'd already made the choice to lie, so he suppressed the guilt and continued, "Well, I also believe that we are meant to be much more than temporary (he shuddered, but imperceptibly) lovers."

Justin's eyes widened. Incredulous, he breathed, "You do?"

With a much clearer conscience, since this was true of their first meeting, Brian added, his voice husky, "The moment I saw you, I knew, I knew, you were special, that you would change my life."

Justin started to tremble. He was speechless.

Brian stared into crystal blue depths with an intensity that took Justin's breath away and caressed the boy's face tenderly. He confessed, "As much as I've wanted to fuck you senseless since you walked through the door, I thought, I don't know, that we could enjoy each other's company for a while before we got to the fucking."

Brian had the urge to point and laugh at himself. He had difficulty believing what was coming out of his mouth but only when he thought of himself as Brian Kinney, Brian-Fucking-Kinney. When he didn't consider what the gang, nameless faceless people on Liberty Avenue, his family, or his coworkers and clients would think…when he divorced himself from the rest of the world, imagining that only he and Justin existed, the words seemed natural, right.

His eyes as wide as saucers, Justin responded in a small voice, "You wanted to…I…" He couldn't express himself coherently to save his life. Instead, he simply moved closer to Brian and kissed his lips gently. Then, looking deep into the man's eyes, he declared softly but firmly, "I would really like that. We have all night."

Brian cleared his throat and walked over to the television. He said, his back turned away from Justin, "So I rented Just a Question of Love. The queen behind the counter said that it's a good date movie."

Justin's eyes widened. "You actually asked for a recommendation?"

Brian turned back toward the boy, an unreadable look in his eyes, and nodded.

Justin thought it best to hold back the exclamation that was on the tip of his tongue ('That's so sweet!'). Instead, he responded as casually as he could manage, "Cool." Then, he walked over to the couch, sat down, and picked up the movie case. He exclaimed, "Ooo. A French film."

Brian joined Justin on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table and his arm around Justin. Justin laid his head on Brian's shoulder.

(For those of you who haven't seen Just a Question of Love, I'll put the basic plot points in parentheses as they occur. Laurent is a gay university student who has not yet come out to his parents. He lives with Carole, his best friend. They pretend to be involved at family events, which is where they are at the beginning.)

Justin smiled when the protagonist came into view. He exclaimed, "Laurent is cute!"

Studying Justin's expression closely, Brian asked as nonchalantly as possible, "Would you fuck him?"

Justin's eyes widened. He cried out, "No!" But then, he confessed, "I mean, maybe if I'd met him before I started having those dreams. But even when I thought that you weren't…that my dream man wasn't real, I still had eyes only for him…for you."

Brian quirked an eyebrow.

Justin smiled a little shyly. He admitted, "I know it sounds pathetic, but it's true. Last night, I kept looking for my dream man, and, right before I saw you, I despaired of ever finding him. I was about to ask Daph to drive me home because I didn't want anyone else."

Brian prodded, "So if a few hotties had made eyes at you, you would still have gone home?"

The boy nodded. Then he smiled. "But then I spotted you…"

Brian picked up Justin's hand and threaded their fingers together.

Suddenly, Justin said, a little sadly, "I think Carole's in love with Laurent."

Brian agreed, "Undoubtedly. But he's asking for it…playing with his little cousin like that. Women eat that shit up."

Justin chuckled. "Not just women."

(Laurent meets an openly gay man named Cedric. He interns for him at an agronomy lab set up in the man's house, and they fall in love.)

Justin asserted, "Bearded guy (Cedric) is pretty cute, too."

Brian ran his free hand over Justin's groin. He teased, "Bearded guy is really doing it for you, isn't he?

Justin blushed. He replied softly, "No. It's not Cedric who is 'doing it for me.'"

Brian inquired, a look of mock innocence on his face, "Laurent then?"

Justin pinched Brian's nipple, eliciting a yelp, and cried out (in frustration), "No! It's you dumbass!"

Then more softly, "Just being close to you like this…with your arm around me and your hand in mine…turns me on like crazy."

For a couple long moments, Brian fixed Justin with an intense look. Justin's breathing grew ragged, and his face flushed. Abruptly, Brian turned away. He closed his eyes for a moment as he willed his achingly hard cock to soften. Then, he scoffed, "I can't believe they're fucking farmers."

Justin giggled. "They aren't farmers. They're agricultural researchers."

Brian harrumphed. "They play in the dirt. They're fucking farmers."

(Cedric drives Laurent to his other job one night. Once there, he lights Laurent's cigarette, and Laurent caresses Cedric's hand. Cedric doesn't move away. Then, Laurent jumps out of the car.)

Justin cried out, "Aww…a lingering touch…so sweet!"

Brian scoffed. "Sweet, my ass! Cedric just wants to fuck him, and why wouldn't he? Interns are hot!"

Justin grumbled, "You wouldn't say that if he weren't so cute."

Brian drawled, "I'd rather have you for an intern, Kitten."

Justin looked up, peeking at the man. He asked softly, "You would?"

Brian shook his head. "I never knew the reason for all the fuss about blonds before."

Justin inquired, a little nervously, "But now you do?"

Brian stated firmly, "I do."

After waiting for Brian to elaborate (he didn't), Justin asked, "Care to share?"

Brian replied indifferently, "Not really."

Justin started to tickle the man. He prodded, "Come on!"

Brian tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself. Justin thought he looked incredibly sexy, a smile on his face, his hazel eyes dancing. Finally, Brian gave in. "Alright, alright. If you're any indication, they're more sensual, and they taste a little sweeter."

Justin blushed and looked down, but he kept sneaking glances at the man.

Brian added, "But you know, what's most attractive about Laurent is that he's shy."

Justin asked incredulously, "You think so?"

Brian nodded. He continued, "Shy men are so responsive."

Justin inquired nervously, "But what happens after they have more experience…when they aren't shy anymore…"

Brian declared, "Nothing. Responsiveness is the cause of shyness, not the other way around. Being acutely aware of surroundings and the feelings, physical and emotional, of both yourself and others."

Justin was speechless. He just gazed at Brian.

(Laurent comes out of work to find that Cedric hasn't left.)

Justin stated, in wonder, "Aww…he waited for him!!!!"

Brian narrowed his eyes. "That's a little weird, isn't it?"

Justin disagreed, "I think it's sweet."

Brian scoffed. "More like pervy. See. A few minutes later they're fucking. Not sweet at all. Just a strange hermited older man wanting to fuck some twink into the mattress."

"That was fast! But that doesn't make it any less sweet. We were fucking within minutes of knowing each other…well, kissing, anyway."

Brian harrumphed. "They hardly compare. You and I are WAY hotter than they are…plus I'm not some freaky agronomist who lives with his mother. I'm in advertising and have a fabulous loft."

Justin smiled. Then, he agreed, "They kiss pretty well, but we're much better."

Brian teased, "Are we now?"

Justin just gaped at Brian.

Brian stated, "It's been so long. Why don't you refresh my memory?"

Justin straddled the man. He nudged his nose gently, traced his lower lip with his tongue, and, then, thrust his tongue inside the man's mouth, kissing him passionately. A minute later, Justin moved back to his original position and smiled naughtily.

Brian's breathing was ragged, and his pants once again felt a little tight. He said nonchalantly, "I guess you're right."

Justin simply shook his head and smiled.

(Cedric's mom walks into the lab to find he and Laurent lying on the floor half naked.)

Justin exclaimed, "I think my mom would freak if she saw me like that! She definitely wouldn't offer you coffee and toast with jam!"

Brian said quietly, "Well, now it's just a matter of time."

Confused, Justin inquired, "What?"

Brian stated matter-of-factly, "They're happy. So now something has to happen that wrecks it."

(After the honeymoon phase, Cedric becomes annoyed that Laurent won't introduce him to his family as his boyfriend, but only as his friend and employer. After a fight at Laurent's family's home (Laurent wants to get busy, but Cedric doesn't want to risk being walked in on), Cedric runs off to Paris, and Laurent sulks in his apartment.)

"See."

Justin suggested, "Well, in the movie, yeah. But it doesn't have to be that way in real life."

Brian quirked an eyebrow.

Justin gaped for a moment, but then asked, "You really don't believe two people who are in love can be happy?"

Brian shrugged. "That's been my experience."

Justin felt a pang in his chest as he wondered who Brian had been in love with before. But he shook it off and stated confidently, "Well, I'll show you different."

Brian looked at the boy skeptically. "Will you now?"

Justin replied, just as confidently, "Yes."

"And…if something bad happens over which you have no control? What then?"

"I'll fix whatever was broken."

"And if you can't? If it's not in your power?"

"Well, then, I guess I'll have to trust that you'll fix what's broken."

"And if I can't?"

"If I can't, you'll be able to. Love is like that. One person compensates for the other."

"Really? And how can you be sure?"

"Because love, if it's real, won't be denied. Not for long."

"And how do you know that?"

Justin shrugged. "I just do."

Brian stared at the boy for a long moment before turning back to the movie.

(Cedric's mother eventually outs Laurent because she wants the two men to be happy. She can't stand seeing them at odds. Laurent's father then tells Laurent that he never wants to see him again, though his mother has more difficulty writing him off).

Justin exclaimed. "I can't believe Cedric's mom outed Laurent!"

Brian shrugged. "Well, she wants them to be happy."

"But still…"

Brian's eyes lost focus, and he stated softly, "It must be nice to have a mother who loves her son enough to do that."

Justin studied Brian curiously, but said nothing.

(Laurent gets drunk and crawls into bed with Carole. They don't actually have sex.)

Justin's eyes widened when he saw the first naked breast. He cried out, "Oh God! What is he doing?"

He took a dive into Brian's chest. He whispered, "Tell me when the scary part is over."

Brian ran his fingers through Justin's hair for a moment but, then, decided he'd play with the boy.

When Laurent pulled away (and all of Carole's charms could be seen), he declared with a smirk, "All clear."

Justin raised his head. When he saw Carole naked and Laurent moving in for some loving, he cried out, "Brian!" and then pinched the man's nipple again. He laughed and cried out, "You think that was funny?" in between pinches.

Brian alternately yelped and laughed and then flipped the boy over and grabbed his hands, holding them against the couch. Suddenly, they both stopped laughing. They just gazed into each other's eyes. Slowly, Brian leaned down and kissed Justin's lips tenderly. Then, he pulled back and continued to gaze into the boy's eyes. Justin looked back up at him, his face flushed, his eyes displaying both fear and something else, something soft and warm. Brian desperately wanted to believe that that something else was love, the love he'd seen in the boy's eyes the night of his prom. Just the thought caused his chest to constrict and tears to threaten to fall.

Brian let Justin's hands go and stood up slowly. Justin just lay there watching the man. He wasn't exactly certain what had happened, but he knew that he and Brian had connected. This had happened quite a few times already, but, somehow, this time was different. Deeper. He didn't want to let Brian back off, but he wasn't sure what to do, and he couldn't deny that the sudden intimacy was a little frightening, as though Brian could read his every thought and feeling, see right through him. So he sat up slowly, though he continued to watch Brian.

Brian returned with a couple bottles of water. He handed one to Justin with a soft smile, but he was still not quite with the boy.

(Cedric's mother lures Cedric back home with talk of tests her doctor wants to run. By now, Laurent has arranged for a transfer to a school in Paris (to get away from everyone). Cedric drives him to the train station, but, on the way, Laurent breaks down in tears, and Cedric embraces him. They then go to Laurent's family's home, where he tells his parents to take him as he is, that he didn't ask to be gay, but that he loves Cedric and can't stop. He tells his father, "It's not a question of gay or straight; it's just a question of love." The father asks for more time to come to terms with Laurent's orientation.)

Brian and Justin watched the rest of the movie in silence. Night had fallen, so the loft was dark and quieter now that the world had slowed, started to retire. As Brian shut the television off, Justin walked over to the window and breathed, without even really being conscious of it, "It's just a question of love."

Hearing this, Brian turned to find Justin staring vacantly out the window at the city lights. He rolled his lips into his mouth, lit some candles, turned on some soft music, and, said, "Justin."

When Justin turned around, Brian smiled softly, reached out his hand, and stated, in almost a whisper, "Dance with me."

Justin swallowed hard, but then smiled brightly and took Brian's hand.

Brian pulled Justin against him and slid both hands around the boy's waist. Justin placed his arms around Brian's neck, and they started moving slowly in elliptical circles. Brian pressed his forehead against Justin's and then nudged his nose gently. Justin's breathing grew ragged. Being so close to Brian had awakened desire that was barely under the surface. Try as he might, he couldn't keep it at bay. He licked his lips slowly and lifted his head up until his eyes met Brian's. They burned like dark embers. Brian held the boy's gaze for several long moments, their mouths a mere inch apart.

Suddenly, Brian pulled his head back. His voice a little unsteady, he said, "So Kitten, tell me something about yourself."

Justin blinked and looked up at Brian. He asked softly, "What?"

Brian chuckled and repeated, "Tell me something about yourself."

Justin replied, "Oh…um…what do you want to know?"

Brian shrugged. "Whatever you want to tell me."

Justin narrowed his eyes and smiled. "Okay…but only if you do the same. Tit for tat."

Normally, Brian was reticent to share details about himself, but he actually wanted Justin to know him again. In the weeks since the bashing, Brian had become painfully aware of how much he'd liked being visible. To Justin anyway. He'd never thought anyone would be able to truly understand him, and, over the years, he'd convinced himself that he didn't want anyone to…but, then, Justin came along. He couldn't even express how it felt to have someone understand everything with just a look. Justin had always had an uncanny intuition about Brian (one that Brian was certain the boy still had, suppressed though it might be by the self-doubt caused by the bashing), and, with time and experience, Justin had expanded that intuition into something akin to telepathy. At first, Brian had hated feeling so exposed, so, after that first night, he'd avoided the boy. But without his even realizing it, he'd slowly started drawing strength from the knowledge that whatever appearances might suggest, whatever he might say, someone always knew better. When Brian started one of his many internal downward spirals into self-loathing and depression, not those that spilled over into his behavior during times of extreme trauma, but the more frequent and more subtle shifts in his emotional state, Justin could pull him out with a look and a smile or a few words and a touch. At such times, no one else even noticed. But no one else mattered. Without Brian's even realizing it, the boy had become a haven; he'd become home for Brian. Since the bashing, Brian had felt desperately homesick. For the first time in his life.

Brian pretended to be thinking it over, and, after a reasonable amount of time had passed, he nodded. "Okay."

Justin smiled shyly and confessed, "I like to draw. I'm not sure why I don't have any drawings from before my accident; (Justin wrinkled his forehead) I'm pretty sure that I always liked to draw. But…um…I haven't told anyone that I've been drawing since I was in the hospital. For some reason, my mom's a little weird about art these days, which is especially baffling because she used to love it. I can remember her and I going to galleries together and her buying me sketch pads and special pencils."

He stared off into space for a moment, but then shook his head and laughed. He declared brightly, "Your turn."

Brian wasn't sure what he should tell him. He was thinking about it when Justin broke the silence. He said hesitantly, "Actually, I have a question, something I'm dying to know…"

Brian responded calmly, though he was anything but, "Shoot."

Justin swallowed hard. Then, he asked, "You said before that…that it's been your experience that two people who are in love can't be happy, and I was just wondering who you'd been in love with before…"

Freaked out, but happy (at the hint that the old Justin was still in there), Brian thought with an inward chuckle, "Leave it to Justin to cut right to the chase. What the fuck can I tell him without lying or telling the whole truth?"

Justin was studying Brian, waiting for his answer a little impatiently.

Brian pulled away suddenly. He was trapped. Any answer but the whole truth was a lie, a lie that would hurt Justin. A lie Brian couldn't make himself utter. He couldn't say he'd never been in love. It was bad enough that it had been unwritten as far as Justin was concerned. But he couldn't say he'd been in love with someone else, either.

Justin offered, "If it's too painful to talk about…you don't have to answer."

Justin was so right and so wrong. Brian swung around. "No. I have to. It was you, Kitten. It was you."

Justin paled as his eyes widened. "Me?"