A/N: Yes, I'm fully aware that it's been over a year since my last update and for that I'm sorry. I've been basically dried up in terms of fic writing and have only recently rediscovered my creative spark, thanks to help from Risu and various circumstances, including finishing my freshman year of college. So hopefully I'll have a productive summer. Also, I have to confess that this chapter and the next chapter or so after it were written last summer while Bush was still in the White House but I didn't publish them right away cuz I wasn't comfortable with the idea and I like to have at least a 5 chapter buffer between my current chapter and my published chapter. Since I've hit that, I'm posting this, and I may post another one or two sometime within the next week or so. So please enjoy and thanks for coming back to me!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, you really should know this by now.
Kurama opened his eyes and looked around. He was lying on a couch and the TV was showing some random show about some guy named Jeff Corwin who was talking to some small furry animal that was trying to bite his nose off. (Hehe, that's what's on the TV right now… Jeff Corwin is so funny.) Hiei and Ryouko were on the couch next to him. Hiei had put the footrest out in front of him, and was leaned back in the couch. Ryouko was curled up next to him, head resting on his shoulder. His head rested on hers. Kurama grinned slightly, then turned to look for Himizu. She was already awake and she was reading a large collection of Agatha Christie stories. She had a digital camera sitting next to her and she was listening to her MP3 player, lips moving as she read her book and listened to her music. For a moment, he wondered whether she was mouthing the sentences or the lyrics, but that question was answered when she actually articulated a few lines.
"When I see you cry… it makes me smile… yeah it makes me smile…" she sang to herself, then slipped back to the silent headbanging. (Smile, Lily Allen) Kurama rolled his eyes. She really seemed to enjoy tormenting people.
CHICKEN!!!
Ryouko and Hiei were both rudely jerked awake. Interestingly, Himizu didn't move an inch. Ryouko snatched the phone.
"Chicks in Black!" she said, sounding pretty alert considering the fact that she'd just woken up. "Okay… okay… sounds interesting. We'll take it." She hung up and turned to look at Himizu, who was still humming to herself.
"So wear me like a locket around your throat… I'll weigh you down, I'll watch you choke… you look so good in blue…" she sang. (Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, Fall Out Boy)
Ryouko sighed. "Good Lord… she must have that music up really loud, since she can't hear the phone." She walked over, but paused when she saw the digital camera.
"What's this?" she asked aloud, reaching for it. Himizu's hand shot out and snatched the camera out of Ryouko's reach. Ryouko was instantly on alert. "What have you been doing with that camera?" she asked.
"Nothing!" said Himizu, just a little too innocently. Ryouko snarled and lunged for the camera. They scrapped for a few minutes, and the fight ended with Ryouko wrenching the camera out of her friend's hands and hopping away so that she could look at the last picture taken, which happened to feature Hiei and Ryouko sleeping as described earlier. Ryouko was understandably pissed off. She started screaming at Himizu angrily. Then she paused.
"You know, this is actually a really cute picture. Can you print me a copy so I can put it in an album?" she asked.
"No problemo. So, who called?" Himizu asked, pleased that things had turned out so well.
"Uh, I dunno, he was some important politician in America…" said Ryouko, shrugging. "His address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue…"
"WHAT???" shrieked Himizu. "Oh gods, we're going to be assassinated…"
"Huh?" asked Ryouko.
"HELLO!!! THAT'S THE WHITE HOUSE!!!" cried Himizu. "DUBYA IS A MANIAC!!! HE'S GONNA WANT US TO COVER UP ANOTHER OF HIS BLUNDERS, AND THEN WE'LL DIE ANONYMOUSLY IN A TRAGIC ACCIDENT!!!"
"Interesting… does he do that now?"
"Probably. I'm not too sure… The whole 'classified' thing is tough… I still haven't managed to hack into their files yet, but I'm sure there's a wealth of knowledge contained in those files… so many conspiracy theories that will be fulfilled…"
"Oh Gods…" Ryouko groaned. "Paranoia… another side effect of hunger." She handed Himizu a Snickers. Himizu chucked it at Ryouko, but she ducked and it flew over the couch, barely missing Hiei, and slid under a table, where it was later found by the robot servants and was fed to the wombats.
"Well, let's get going… It's not good to keep death waiting…" Himizu said gloomily. Ryouko rolled her eyes. The two girls did little spin moves and ended up wearing crisp black suits, shiny black shoes, and black sunglasses. They snapped their fingers and Hiei and Kurama were wearing identical outfits.
"All good? Perfect," Ryouko said with a smile. They jumped into the convertible and were off. In short order, they were driving through Washington DC. There was a large traffic jam, as apparently there was some sort of parade going on. Ryouko kept checking her watch. They were going to be late, and that would not reflect well on the Chicks in Black. Himizu sighed in annoyance.
"Okay, we're taking a shortcut, goddamnit!" Himizu exclaimed. She steered the car hard to one side and the next thing they knew, they were flying along through the National Mall, causing tourists to scatter in a panic. Ryouko took the opportunity to get a perfect photo of the Washington Monument, then grabbed hold on the dashboard as Himizu took a sharp turn.
"HIMIZU!!!" she shrieked. "You have a license to kill, not to break traffic laws! Getting arrested in not a good idea!!! Especially since it'll make us late!" That gave Himizu pause. She sighed, but executed a smooth turn and slid back onto the road. Already they could hear sirens as the police, and possibly the Secret Service, came to track down the lunatic driver. Himizu quickly pulled up to the White House, showed a pass, and was allowed in. As the gates closed behind them, at least half a dozen motorcycle cops blew past. Himizu and Ryouko grinned at each other and high-fived. Kurama and Hiei groaned and sank lower into the backseat.
The foursome was escorted into the Oval Office by a large man wearing a black suit and shades similar to those that they were wearing. President Bush was sitting at his desk waiting for them. He stood and held out his hand for them to shake, but none of them took up his offer. He resumed his seat. The girls sat down across from his and the boys stood behind them.
"You are sworn to confidentiality on this, of course," the president said calmly. "No one must ever know, especially any member of the media or any American citizen." Himizu's eyebrow twitched, but she showed no other reaction. "I suppose you know all about the events of September 11th and the subsequent War on Terror?" he asked.
"Naturally. We don't live under rocks," Himizu said. He nodded.
"Well, then you also know the American public no longer supports the War on Terror as they used too."
Himizu rolled her eyes behind her shades. This was news to him? Sheesh.
"So because of this, a previously important member of our campaign has become… dispensable," the president explained.
"Indeed…" said Ryouko thoughtfully.
"Yes… You see, Osama bin Laden was killed during the first few days of the War on Terror."
"WHAT?" cried Himizu.
"Yes, we even have his head in a jar… Dick Cheney insisted…"
"He would…" she muttered under her breath.
"However, we had some sources claiming that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, and we wanted their oil anyways, so we had to convince the American people that bin Laden was still alive and plotting more attacks. So we hired a double to make tapes threatening more attacks on America. So the people were frightened and more than willing to support the war."
"You filthy, lying no-good SOB…" Himizu whispered under her breath, fist clenching.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" the president asked, looking at her quizzically. She pasted a charming smile on her face.
"No sir. Please continue," she said.
"Okay then, now that the American people have turned against the War on Terror, we have decided that our bin Laden look-alike is now expendable. So we've decided to hire you to take him out. We'd do it ourselves, but he has some powerful weapons, and is clever… in his own unique way… We think he'll be an appropriate challenge for you."
"Sounds good. You know his approximate location?" asked Ryouko.
"Actually, we attached a GPS chip to his body when he was hired. It was set to blow him up when we were finished with him, but he disabled the bomb. However, he couldn't remove the GPS, so we know where he is." The president gave them the code, and a GPS so the girls could track this agent. "I think that's all… we'll work out your payment when you bring back proof that he's dead."
"Agreed. We'll be in touch," Ryouko said. She and Himizu stood and they left quickly. Himizu was trembling with rage.
"That sick bastard. Not only does he steal two elections, not only does he start an unnecessary war, but he deliberately misleads the American people!!! What's happened to democracy, goddamnit?"
"No idea, sorry," Ryouko said sympathetically. "But can he make this any easier for us? Why is he sending us?"
"There's something he's not telling us… I don't think he wants to sacrifice American lives needlessly, so he'll hire some "foreign" agents to take care of his dirty work… I suppose the irony is that I am an American, and he doesn't know it, but I don't really care right now, I'm so mad! There's a catch here too, I know there's a catch!"
"There probably is. But we've survived a lot, and we'll survive a lot more!" Ryouko said optimistically.
"Immortality must have its benefits," Kurama said sarcastically.
"That would be true…" Ryouko said happily. Hiei laughed softly.
"Yes, we may be immortal, but I still have a really bad feeling about this job," Himizu said grimly as she slid into the driver's seat. Her hand gripped the reassuringly firm saber and gun at her belt as she frowned down at the steering wheel.
